777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777 ______________________________________________________________________________ BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo* *BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo W BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo* + ------------------------------ + *BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo| THE FeLiS-MoRTiSiKoN |BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo W BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo* + ------------------------------ + *BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo* by: BoW associated staff *BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo ============================================================================== (#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#) (#) (#) (#) /|narkiztik / \ ^ / ONE OF THOSE GREENPEACE OR SPCA FAGGOTZ THEN PHuCK YEW | | PANZIE, GO WATCH 101 DALMATIONS OR SUMTHING @!!@# / \ ====================================================== | . . | (" " ) ONE OF MY FAVOURiTE METHODZ OF KAT EXTERMINTATION IS A PLAY ON THE OLD HOCKEY KARD IN THE SPOKES OF YER BICYCLE TO MAKE A KEWL SOUND THING, IF YEW HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE WHAT ESSENTIALLY YOU DO IS AFFIX A HOCKEY KARD TO YER SPOKES AND AS YOU PEDAL IT MAKES A KEWL KLICKING SOUND.. WELL THIS IZ FOR PANZIE FAGGOTZ #@!@ IF YER KEWL WHAT YEW DO IZ TAKE A LiVE KAT aND AFFIX IT TO THE SPOKES OF YER BIKE AND PEDAL AROUND TOWN VIGOROUSLY, NOT ONLY DOEZ IT SOUND KEWL BUT ALSO YOU GET SUM CHOICE LOOKZ FROM ANYONE YOU HAPPEN TO PASS BY !@#@! [NoTe: Thiz method will not work on bikes without spokes, ie: big wheels, if you own a big wheel: get some skipping rope and tie one end to the kat and the other end to the back of your big wheel, position yourself at the top of a big hill and pedal downward vigorously] ANOTHER FAVOURITE OF MINE REQUIREZ ACCESS TO YER SCIENCE TEACHERS STOREROOM OR SOMEPLACE WHERE YOU KAN AQUIRE LARGE AMOUNTS OF PURE POTASSIUM. BASICALLY WHAT YOU DO IS SHOVE LARGE AMOUNTS OF PURE POTASSIUM DOWN THE CATS THROAT AND THEN ONCE IT IS SUFFICIENTLY STUFFED WHIP IT INTO THE BATHTUB WHEN YER MOTHER IS HAViNG A BATH OR EVEN INTO A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL. YOU WILL REVEL IN THE XPLOSION OF KAT FUR AND INTESTINES THAT WILL RESULT FROM SUCH ELEETNEZZ.. IN KASE YOU DONT KNOW, POTASSIUM + h2o (water) kauses a minor xplosion. THE MORE PURE POTASSIUM YEW STUFF THE KAT WITH THE BETTER THE BOOM. [NoTe: Another play on this method iz to stuff the kat with the potassium and then remark to your mom that the kat looks like it needz a bath, when yer mom immerses the kat in water *B00M*.. hehe If you want to be elaborate, talk to your mom alot about spontaneous combustion, fill her head with lotz of horror stories about it then proceed with the plan... it will take her weekz to recover from the shock when FeFe goez BooM-BooM] [NoTe#2: ThiZ meth0d iz loadz of fun when you employ one of th0se panzie 'throw in yer quarterz' publik fountainz as yer detonator] DEW YEW HAVE A MIKROWAVE ?!?!? iF SO THiS NEXT MeTHOD IZ DEFINITELY THE THiNG TEW DEW ON THoZE RAiNY SUMMER DAZE WHEN YEW R BORED OUT OF YER MIND @!#@! EYE AM SURE BY NOW YEW R BORED OF MERELY JAMMiNG YER FAVOURiTE FELiNE iNTO THE MiCROWAVE ON HIGH FOR 10 MiNUTES, WELL HERE iZ A METHOD WHICH ADDZ SUM EXCiTEMENT !@#!@ WHAT YEW WiLL NEED BESiDES THE OBViOUS KAT AND MiCROWAVE iZ: a) YER MOTHERZ FAVOURiTE PEARL NECKLACE. b) A SHiTLOAD OF POPKORN KERNELZ !@#!@ STRiNG THE PEARLZ AROUND THE KAT, THROW IT IN THE MiCROWAVE AND THEN FiLL THE MiCROWAVE WiTH POPKORN... KLOSE THE DOOR, CRANK IT ON HIGH AND RUN LiKE HELL #@!# THiS METHoD iZ VERY MESSY #!@# THE RESULTANT EXPLOSION WiLL B MAMMOTH SEW MAKE SURE NOONE IZ AROUND BuT YEW WHEN YEW DEW THiS ONE !@#@! THiZ ENDZ PART ONE oF THE FELiS-MoRTiSiKON #@!# PHUCK YEW !@#@! WATCH FER MORE QUALiTY [ANuS] PHiLeZ KUMMING YER WAY SooN !@# GREETZ GOEZ OUT TEW: SKAR-TiSSUE, MuTiLaTeD-KaT [FEaR] SPECIAL GREETZ GOEZ OUT TEW ALL [FEaR] MEMBERZ @!#@! FeLiNe Exterminatorz/Anarkistik R0dentz 0H SHiT!@# THAT REMiNDZ ME, EYE FORGOT TO MENTION ANARKYKON @!# OK: ========================== = ANARKYKON '94 = ========================== EYE ARRiVED AT THE CONVENTION CENTER AROUND 5PM JUST AS SEVERED LiMB AND DEMONiKiZT WERE HEADiNG OUT TO GO TRASHiNG AT SMITH AND WESSON, LUCKiLY THEY HAD ROOM FOR ME, SO OFF WE WENT.. THE THREE OF US SPED OFF TOWARDZ THE SMITH AND WESSON BUILDING IN DEMONiKiZT's VAN AT QUITE A FRANTiC PACE ONLY STOPPING AT A RED LiGHT ONCE TO PuLL OVER AND MaCE AN OLD LADY WHO WUZ STaNDiNG ON A KURB.. OK, WE ARRiVED AT SMiTH AND WESSON JUST AZ THEY WERE KLOSING SO WE WAiTED OUTSIDE IN THE VAN UNTIL THE LAST EMPLOYEE HAD LEFT, AT WHICH POINT DEMONIKiZT LEAPED OUT WiTH SEVERED LiMB AND EYE IN TOW, WE MADE A QUIK B LiNE TO THE DUMPSTER AND EYE LEAPED iN.. SEVERED LiMB LiT A SMOKE BOMB TO PROViDE US WITH SUM DEGREE OF COVER AND QUICKLY JOINED ME iN THE DUMPZTER @!# WE SiFTED THROUGH THE MEZZ AND ALL WE GOT WERE A FEW SHELL CAZINGZ AND EYE FOUND SUM PRiNTOUTZ FER A LAZERSKOPE PLANS OR SUMTHiNG #@!# OK BACK TO THA KONVENTION CENTER #!@# WHEN WE ARRiVED WE WERE GiVEN OUR NAMETAGZ AND SHuFFLED OFF TEW A ROOM WHERE A FEW TALKZ WERE GIVEN ON TERRORIZM AND A FEW BORING LEKTUREZ ON SNEAKING INTO BUILDINGZ AND LOCK PICKING #!@ EYE RAN INTO RANCiD MEAT AT THE LEKTUREZ AND HE INVITED ME UP TO HIZ ROOM TO LOOK AT HIZ CHEMICAL WEAPONS, WHEN WE GOT UP THERE HE SUGGEZTED WE TEAR GAZ THE LOBBY, WHICH WE DID... NEEDLEZZ TO SAY THE POLIZE SHOWED AND THA KONVENTION ENDED EaRLY @!#!@ PHUCK YEW !@#@! EYE GOTTa GO NOW.. D-CeLLeRaTiON TRaUMA [ANuS] '94 $@#!$#@$@$