ICANN's press release begins as follows:

Marina del Rey, CA (November 16, 2000) -- The board of directors of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, (ICANN) today announced its selections for registry operators for new top level domains. The applications selected for further negotiation are the following:
.aero - Societe Internationale de Telecommunications Aeronautiques SC, (SITA)
.biz - JVTeam, LLC
.coop - National Cooperative Business Association, (NCBA)
.info - Afilias, LLC
.museum - Museum Domain Management Association, (MDMA)
.name - Global Name Registry, LTD
.pro - RegistryPro, LTD

ARE THEY FUCKING NUTS????? These are supposed to open up the grossly over-used trinity of .com, .net, and .org?? Let's look at the names in detail.

.aero - I rest my case. Let see, we have a handful of commercial airlines, some aerospace companies, and someone could register straightasafucking.aero or something like that. Maybe the upholstery giant can register justcall.aero. Oh, and you know compuke will register compaq.aero for their leim PDA.

.biz - I'm going for jiz.biz myself. My question is how does it open up the .com domain? As long as the infamous Trademark Cyberpiracy Prevention Act is around, corporations can confiscate any domain names that use their trademark. Any control of the current trademark law has been obliterated by this fine peice of legislature. Take a look at this previously posted article by RTMark. I mean if I go out and register microsoft.biz, they'll just sue me and take it away. Big meanies. And even if the name isn't a trademark, the smart companies (I know that's an oxymoron) will go out and re-register their names, just like they do with .com, .net, and .org. And when someone else does happen to get one, I'm sure they'll be no end to the whining, pissing, and moaning.

.coop - Coop? Okay, I'm from the country and a coop is a place where you keep chickens. Hey, I'll try to get chicken.coop too! It would be great for a truck driver's site to tell you where all the stops are on the major interstates. Or maybe the soon to be bankrupt drkoop.com can try dr.coop. Of course I went to the NCBA's site and found out it's co-op. So why not .co-op? And is there some overwhelming need for co-opted businesses to have a top level domain?

.info - Okay, I like this one. It will be misused though. Bastards.

.museum - BAHHAhHAHAHAh!! Oh jeezus... I suppose all the museums (that belong to the MDMA anyway) got together and shelled out $50,000 to suggest they have their own top level domain. Gimme a fuckin break. This one reminds of that song on sesame street, "Which one of these, does not belong..."

.name - Ooh! Ooh! whatsina.name, whatsyour.name, ididntcatchyour.name, thisdomainisleim.name. It may serve some purpose for those whose famous names have been squatted upon, but as mentioned above, the problem isn't the space available in the top level domains. It's the infinite wisdom of our country's fine legislature. I'm going to name my daughter Nike Microsoft, try like hell to make her famous, and watch the ill-prepared legal system piss all over itself.

.pro - Here we go with all the fuckin lamer-PRO names. carpet.pro, computer.pro, tennis.pro, suckingd0nkeynutz.pro (that's for the girls in Nuevo Laredo). In short, blowme.pro.

And we haven't even mentioned the suggestions that were declined (and they too paid $50,000). My favorites? .kids and .xxx - solving one of the biggest problems on the net in one sweeping motion. But ICANN('t believe we're so fuckin dumb) claims they don't want to regulate content! Then what the hell are the doing with .museum, .aero, and .coop???

What does this all mean? Get ready for a bunch more lawsuits over cyber-squatting and trademark infringment because the added domains will not be relieving much pressure. We'll hope ICANN('t tell the difference between my ass and a hole in the ground) musters together enough brain cells to come up with something better after everyone quickly realizes these SUCK. In the mean time, happy registering!

-handel