As the Austin fighter of mail fraud, I highly endorse this prank. However,
my one caveat is to only use "return postage paid" envelopes for large
companies or coprorations that have lots of money and not to use ones meant
for charities, fund-raising, etc.
-Super 2N
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On behalf of the Black Rock City Post Office (BRCPO) and the Soup Advisory
Board, I would like to invite you to participate in a postal prank that we
feel will continue to foster a sense of community and soupy spirit
year-round while gently curbing the throws of gross non-soup-consumerism
that continue to contort this nation.
This prank is fully credited to Captain Conundrum (CC), proud member of the
BRCPO Postal Workers Union and SAB. It is a simple, legal, non-lethal but
addictive form of merriment. All it requires is your own ingenuity,
willingness to play, and creative ability to "recycle."
Simply put, the BRCPO/ SAB are recommending CC's unique way to
simultaneously unclutter your desk, home, or work environs while
effectively and efficiently recycling your bulk mail. In lieu of throwing
out or normally recycling all of those pesty bulk mail deliveries that you
receive, we would like to recommend that you follow a simple daily ritual
for Bulk Mail Recycling:
1) Sort through your bulk mail and determine which pieces contain "return
postage paid" envelopes, such as credit card applications.
2) Save these envelopes and anything else that you might want to associate
with them from the original bulk mailing.
3) At your leisure throughout the day, fill these envelopes with no longer
needed but infinitely mailable items. Good examples from CC's and other's
recent mailings are:
* Little pieces of a pizza box
* An empty book of matches
* Gum wrappers
* A Home Depot receipt for toilet bowl cleaner
* Band Aid wrappers
* Soup can labels
The spirit of this prank is such that you can also create "Theme
Envelopes." For instance, if it is post lunch, you might consider items
such as:
* McDonald's Quarter Pounder with cheese wrapper
* Zesta saltine crackers in the little plastic package
* Grocery receipt from QFC
* Cat food receipt from Costco
* Empty straw wrapper
* Individual paper salt and pepper containers
(Note: Do refrain from including ketchup and mustard packets or mark your mail
"Fragile! Do Not Bend" if you do. If it is not marked as such, mail will go
through processing "rollers" and those packets will burst. Does anyone
really need to make US Postal Workers that much more aggravated? This prank
is aimed at the senders of bulk mail and not the processors...)
4) Seal the envelope and mail-- free of charge! (Note: if you want to add a
little zest to the stew, overstuff the envelope so that it arrives with a
"Postage Due" mark on it.)
5) Enjoy the cleansing effects of having creatively purged yourself and
your environs.
Soup,
Sylvia Dutch
CEO/ A Founding Father, SAB
Postmistress General, BRCPO
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Post-script from the Mailman :
Geez, thanks a lot, this shit in the mail stream is really going to make my
day. These envelopes already have destination barcodes on the front and
back that will direct them back to the route they were originally addressed
to, making more work for carriers. It's really hard for humans to
successfully redirect mail in a machine driven system that reads barcodes
and ignores written directions. It's not nice to stress your mailman!!
your mailman
|