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Volume 24
Jun 2001


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Interview conducted by Hermando Escobar
 by metac0m

So how did you meet this girl?

I was in the "pot smokers" chat room on Yahoo. I was chatting in there for a while and eventually somebody had private messaged me. She introduced herself and we talked for awhile. I went there another night, and she was there again, and we talked more, this time for about 5 or 6 hours.

So you got to know each other pretty well online?

Yeah, she told me she was from LA, was a Buddhist priest and in some band. Pretty soon our chats started to get sort of risqué, like sexual.

So you were getting into cybersex?

Yeah, cybersex. We told each other what we looked like, and engaged in cybersex on Yahoo chat.

How did she describe herself?

She said she was.uh...voluptuous, with long brown hair, and with a crazy figure, like 40DD-23-38, you know, like voluptuous.so the cybersex continued, and then we started talking on the phone, we were talking a lot, so cybersex had turned into phone sex, we were getting pretty high off each other.

So when did she start living at your house?

Well, she started talking about how she didn't like where she was living, so I suggested that she come stay with me. Within a week or so, she had bought a bus ticket.

How did it go when you first met?

Well.uhh...(Laughs).I met her at the bus station. I watched her bus come in, watched everybody come out, she was the last one out. And.(laughs).the feeling that I had when I saw her, I wanted to escape, like move out of my body!

What was the problem?

Well, her appearance, she was somebody who I would not be attracted to. She was pushing the voluptuous thing pretty far. She was shorter, and more squat than I had imagined, and very wide. A major thing was that her face was really really wide.she had a big, wide head.

How did it go from there?

Well, I was full of a lot of panic and dread, standing there. She had this giant smile on her face so I did what I could to put on a half-assed smile as well. There was a horrible pause, and she was like "OK, well here I am! Give me a hug!"

So you didn't run away? She came to your house?

Yeah we took the train back to my house. she started talking and whatnot, and I realized how loud and obtrusive she was in person, she was annoyingly manic. Basically my mental concept of who she was started to get shot down really fast.

Once you got home, was she trying to touch you?

Yeah she was. We got home and I headed straight for the alcohol, a bottle of vodka. I figured after all that cybersex and phonesex plus the fact that she came all the way up to Canada, we were going to do it. We started to booze it up, and eventually she asked when I was going to kiss her. We started kissing; she was a bad kisser. We stripped off all of our clothes, she had sincerely gigantic breasts. She was a very dirty girl.

Dirty? Like she needed to bathe?

No no, not like that. She was very lustful, like a naughty type girl. She wanted "it", and she was very vocal about this

How was the lovemaking?

The sex at the very least was interesting; I have never slept with anyone as huge as her. The wide head thing always sort of got to me.

How many times did you do it?

We slept with each other for the first three days. I noticed she was really clingy, I could tell that she was thinking that we were going to have something steady going on. She was always trying to kiss me, and I couldn't help but back off. She was a nice girl I guess, but I really wasn't attracted to her. Like I said, she was really loud, the way she expressed herself was a big turn off.

How did she react to you backing off?

At first she asked me what was wrong. I just told her that I needed to be alone, that I was dealing with some problems, like an emotional crisis. So I just stopped having sex with her.

But she remained at your house?

Yup, she would try to seduce me every night, she always wanted to sleep in my bed. I let her sleep in my bed for awhile, she was always trying to get sex out of me and I eventually told her that she had to start sleeping in the basement. Then there were nights where she asked me if she could give me head.

Did you take her up on the offer?

Well,to be honest with you, she gave great head. Like most people, I am a fan of receiving blow jobs. So yeah, I let her. So every day or two, she comes to my room at night and sucks me off. For the first few times, I let her sleep in my bed afterwards.

How long did this oral sex routine go on for?

After a week or so of I just couldn't handle having her in my bed after the blowjobs. But she kept wanting to give me head. She seemed to really enjoy it. I accepted her offers, but I told her that she would have to leave my room afterwards. That went on for about a month. Then it sort of dwindled off, I couldn't live with myself doing that. It was sorta ridiculous after awhile, having her come to my room, give me head and leave. We were never kissing or anything. I would shut my eyes and pretend it was different girls giving me head. I was getting blow jobs from this girl but I couldn't even look her in the face.

Did you ever return the favor and go down on her?

Not once.

So how long did she stay at your place?

Uhmmm..about two months, she was supposed to stay for one, but it just dragged out.

Two Months? What were your roommates thinking about all this?

After a month or so, things reached a frenzy point. My house is usually pretty quiet, but she made it really loud and I think that made my roommates edgy. We all wanted her to leave. But she didn't have the money to for a bus ticket. She said she was waiting on some money from friends in LA. My roommates got pretty fed up. She was smoking all of their cigarettes and weed, eating all the food. We let her come to this new years house party with us, and some money was stolen. Everyone thought it was her, so basically she was on everybody's shit-list. She was hanging out in my house all this time, but nobody would talk to her, they hated her after awhile.