[00:00.000 --> 00:03.660]  Turn the DUI-DWI talk over to Alex and Josh.
[00:03.840 --> 00:04.140]  Take it away.
[00:06.480 --> 00:08.480]  If you're going to sit here, I've got to work the machines.
[00:08.540 --> 00:08.760]  Okay.
[00:09.940 --> 00:14.400]  This talk originally was going to be given by two other people.
[00:14.860 --> 00:20.660]  And it seemed to be that, well, they have jobs and such, and people leaned on them to not give the talk.
[00:21.640 --> 00:32.760]  So Josh was volunteered to give the police law enforcement side, and I was asked to give the legal side, but I've decided that I will instead present anonymously.
[00:36.480 --> 00:38.360]  So that way no one knows who I am.
[00:39.480 --> 00:44.280]  Dude, work your machine, make it go up.
[00:44.440 --> 00:44.780]  There we go.
[00:44.860 --> 00:45.640]  I've got it on one screen.
[00:45.780 --> 00:46.320]  Do I have it on both?
[00:46.480 --> 00:46.700]  No?
[00:47.800 --> 00:49.320]  That's the only screen we need, right?
[00:49.940 --> 00:51.660]  Well, yes, but...
[00:51.660 --> 00:52.400]  All right.
[00:52.620 --> 01:04.900]  Anyway, my anonymous partner and I, Alex, and me, Josh, this is not our employer's opinions.
[01:05.160 --> 01:06.440]  This is not our opinions.
[01:06.700 --> 01:11.640]  This is factual, but not our opinions at all.
[01:11.860 --> 01:13.760]  Pretty much what we're going to be talking about is factual.
[01:14.120 --> 01:15.400]  Why am I leaning over?
[01:15.520 --> 01:15.820]  Dear God.
[01:16.900 --> 01:19.880]  What we're going to be doing is explaining DWI, DUI.
[01:20.020 --> 01:26.460]  We're going to be talking about what happens during pre-arrest, arrest, a little bit after arrest, mostly jokes.
[01:27.380 --> 01:34.760]  We're going to be talking about what happens, how it happens, physiological, physically, psychologically, all sorts of different things.
[01:35.020 --> 01:37.340]  This is not how do I beat?
[01:37.640 --> 01:40.100]  This is what's going to happen to me.
[01:40.260 --> 01:41.540]  What should I be afraid of?
[01:41.780 --> 01:43.740]  Because we're going to scare you straight.
[01:44.240 --> 01:46.060]  Or gay, if that's the way you are.
[01:46.900 --> 01:47.980]  No offense intended.
[01:50.100 --> 01:52.720]  So, we don't care about your DUI case.
[01:52.860 --> 01:55.000]  Honest, I don't give a crap, okay?
[01:55.260 --> 01:59.920]  If you have a DUI case because you drank and drive, you're an idiot.
[02:01.360 --> 02:07.680]  If you have a DUI case because you were hopped up on Adderall, and you're like, but it wasn't alcohol, you're an idiot.
[02:09.040 --> 02:22.020]  If you have a DUI case because it's DUI, driving under the influence, not driving while drunk, because you had cocaine, heroin, speed, speedball, crushed Adderall, snorted through your ass, whatever.
[02:23.740 --> 02:24.640]  You're an idiot.
[02:25.560 --> 02:26.740]  Don't drink and drive.
[02:27.120 --> 02:28.020]  Don't drug and drive.
[02:29.000 --> 02:31.500]  Hell, half of you probably shouldn't drive, but that's another story.
[02:35.380 --> 02:36.300]  This is our agenda.
[02:36.780 --> 02:38.500]  We'll go over it as we go along.
[02:39.760 --> 02:40.660]  Gee, this is tough.
[02:45.810 --> 02:47.970]  Alex, do you really want me to go over the agenda?
[02:48.470 --> 02:49.630]  Or is it the yellow text?
[02:50.430 --> 02:51.830]  Sorry, it's green on the screen.
[02:51.990 --> 02:53.190]  We didn't realize it would do this.
[02:56.890 --> 02:58.330]  Your machine, I can't see the screen.
[02:58.450 --> 02:58.970]  Go for it.
[03:03.830 --> 03:04.830]  Keep put on...
[03:07.250 --> 03:07.610]  Nope.
[03:08.890 --> 03:09.730]  Eh, f*ck it.
[03:09.730 --> 03:11.150]  Go for it and pump sand layer at it.
[03:12.510 --> 03:13.690]  Well, as you can see...
[03:13.690 --> 03:14.490]  Rope, who's got a rope?
[03:14.770 --> 03:16.770]  As you can see, that is my system font.
[03:16.930 --> 03:18.210]  It annoys people greatly.
[03:18.470 --> 03:21.830]  I've actually had people try to pone my machine just to change the font.
[03:25.910 --> 03:28.150]  But you're not man enough to pone his machine.
[03:30.850 --> 03:31.250]  Person?
[03:31.990 --> 03:33.070]  Are furry enough.
[03:34.490 --> 03:35.190]  Puppet enough.
[03:35.490 --> 03:36.690]  Puppet with a fursuit enough.
[03:38.990 --> 03:39.690]  Just make it.
[03:40.330 --> 03:42.510]  Problem is I can't see the screen myself.
[03:43.550 --> 03:44.350]  Go away!
[03:44.850 --> 03:45.450]  You know what?
[03:45.990 --> 03:47.710]  As always, this is not going to be...
[03:47.710 --> 03:49.510]  This is not going to be Xconfig for lawyers.
[03:50.170 --> 03:51.210]  You're just going to have to...
[03:51.210 --> 03:52.130]  Why did I do that?
[03:54.950 --> 03:55.750]  Do not...
[03:55.750 --> 03:56.150]  Okay.
[03:57.610 --> 03:58.870]  What the hell are we doing here, dude?
[03:59.970 --> 04:01.070]  Go to slideshow.
[04:01.230 --> 04:05.300]  If you push Windows TNT, it should have been up.
[04:05.580 --> 04:07.120]  If you're running Windows...
[04:07.120 --> 04:07.320]  Oh.
[04:08.940 --> 04:09.340]  Details!
[04:09.540 --> 04:09.800]  Details!
[04:09.800 --> 04:10.780]  You know what?
[04:10.980 --> 04:11.340]  F*ck it.
[04:11.460 --> 04:12.700]  You guys are going to have to deal with yellow.
[04:17.420 --> 04:17.790]  Okay.
[04:18.580 --> 04:19.790]  My part of this...
[04:19.790 --> 04:21.880]  Josh, you're not presenting anonymously.
[04:25.650 --> 04:28.450]  I'm going to go through the basics of criminal law in the United States.
[04:29.590 --> 04:31.490]  What does it take to go from...
[04:31.490 --> 04:38.010]  What does it take for a law enforcement officer to legally stop you, arrest you, convict you?
[04:41.230 --> 04:52.350]  The three standards by which they have to be able to stop you is articulable suspicion that you are committing a crime.
[04:52.910 --> 04:58.530]  Or they can stop you if it is some kind of checkpoint where everybody gets stopped.
[04:58.730 --> 04:59.530]  We're checking...
[04:59.530 --> 05:00.710]  And it doesn't have to be for DUI.
[05:00.710 --> 05:04.350]  It could be something like, we are checking every car to see if it's stolen.
[05:07.010 --> 05:09.350]  Next thing I'm going to talk about is...
[05:10.630 --> 05:12.190]  What does it take to convict you?
[05:12.410 --> 05:14.450]  And then what defenses you've got.
[05:16.930 --> 05:17.570]  If any.
[05:17.650 --> 05:21.970]  One of our biggest things in the American criminal justice system is what we call the exclusionary rule.
[05:21.970 --> 05:27.690]  Which says, if evidence is illegally taken from you, it cannot be used against you.
[05:27.970 --> 05:28.790]  General rule.
[05:30.230 --> 05:33.570]  And what happens when you refuse to submit to testing?
[05:33.870 --> 05:37.550]  And sort of how this plays out between civil law and criminal law.
[05:39.210 --> 05:39.770]  Okay.
[05:40.370 --> 05:40.890]  Josh?
[05:46.130 --> 05:46.870]  All right.
[05:48.670 --> 05:49.910]  There's a lot of misconceptions.
[05:50.390 --> 05:53.050]  There's a lot of people going, oh, if you do this, it'll work.
[05:53.050 --> 05:58.250]  If you put this, if you do this, if you happen to drive this way, don't take that road, do this.
[05:58.730 --> 06:00.230]  Yeah, 90% of them are bullshit.
[06:00.510 --> 06:01.330]  Okay, let's be honest here.
[06:01.550 --> 06:02.610]  So let's talk about this stuff.
[06:02.730 --> 06:03.170]  What do we got?
[06:04.670 --> 06:06.730]  Why is the legal limit 0.08?
[06:06.870 --> 06:07.370]  Does anybody know?
[06:08.790 --> 06:10.130]  Does anybody know what 0.08 means?
[06:11.310 --> 06:13.390]  0.08% of your blood is actually alcohol.
[06:14.610 --> 06:14.970]  Okay?
[06:15.510 --> 06:17.490]  So is there any alcohol in your blood?
[06:17.590 --> 06:18.530]  Is there any blood in your alcohol?
[06:18.770 --> 06:21.590]  Well, 0.08, tiny little fraction, but it's enough to get you trashed.
[06:21.590 --> 06:24.710]  It used to be a lot of states had 0.1, or excuse me, 0.1.
[06:24.950 --> 06:26.650]  A lot of them have lowered it to 0.08.
[06:27.290 --> 06:32.990]  Federal highway funds are a lot of that, along with speed limits, age of drinking, things like that.
[06:33.430 --> 06:33.530]  Okay?
[06:36.290 --> 06:42.730]  But DWI is basically, like I said, 0.08 or 0.1 of your blood is alcohol.
[06:42.730 --> 06:45.270]  And it doesn't have to be alcohol.
[06:46.230 --> 06:48.410]  Remember, DUI, driving under the influence.
[06:48.550 --> 06:48.910]  Of what?
[06:49.050 --> 06:50.090]  Doesn't friggin' matter.
[06:50.450 --> 06:50.970]  Okay?
[06:51.330 --> 06:52.190]  I'm on cocaine.
[06:52.350 --> 06:54.130]  They can't give me a DUI.
[06:54.790 --> 06:55.590]  Yes, they can.
[06:56.670 --> 07:02.270]  They don't have to have a breathalyzer or an Intoxilyzer test to arrest you or convict you for DUI.
[07:02.510 --> 07:05.210]  They can have, he's really f*cked up.
[07:05.210 --> 07:11.030]  But they can't actually stop you if your blood is actually 0.08 cocaine, because I don't think you'll ever stop.
[07:14.610 --> 07:18.190]  So, okay, let's talk about when you're actually going to get pulled over.
[07:18.390 --> 07:19.150]  Very rarely.
[07:19.690 --> 07:20.190]  All right?
[07:20.910 --> 07:24.150]  It's an amazing amount of cars out there, and there are not nearly as many cops.
[07:24.690 --> 07:26.390]  They're never going to pull me over.
[07:27.510 --> 07:29.390]  Yeah, you're weaving all over the road.
[07:29.530 --> 07:31.910]  They're going to go, you know, something's wrong with that guy.
[07:32.610 --> 07:33.850]  Let's go take a look.
[07:35.190 --> 07:42.870]  So, the actual odds of getting pulled over and arrested are actually not that high, but they're high enough to bet on in Vegas.
[07:43.910 --> 07:44.450]  Okay?
[07:44.790 --> 07:45.790]  So, don't do it.
[07:46.430 --> 07:51.550]  I think it's 1 in 20,000 actually gets pulled over and arrested.
[07:52.230 --> 07:54.470]  1 in 2,000, sorry, chance of getting pulled over.
[07:54.830 --> 07:57.790]  22% chance of actually getting arrested once you've been pulled over.
[07:58.110 --> 07:59.610]  Now, let's talk about alcohol.
[08:00.150 --> 08:10.650]  Every drink you take, whether it's a shot, one ounce shot, whether it's a glass of wine, I think it's six ounces for a glass of wine, or a beer, about 12 ounces, gives you the same amount of alcohol.
[08:10.790 --> 08:14.890]  And I know you've seen the commercials, they all have, look, this equals this equals this, and this is bad.
[08:15.510 --> 08:17.030]  If you have one drink, are you drunk?
[08:17.570 --> 08:18.270]  Probably not.
[08:18.450 --> 08:19.130]  You might be.
[08:19.630 --> 08:21.190]  I'm a lightweight, all right?
[08:21.350 --> 08:22.150]  Seriously, no joke.
[08:22.150 --> 08:29.930]  I'm not small, okay, trust me, not small, and three drinks, and I'm going, hmm, I need to sit down, okay?
[08:30.210 --> 08:33.630]  Some people drink about a case, and they're just fine.
[08:34.850 --> 08:36.610]  That's why they call it passing the bar.
[08:40.900 --> 08:42.040]  So, everybody's different.
[08:42.260 --> 08:51.040]  Now, women on the whole, on average, I should say, drink the same amount as a man of same or similar weight, and they'll be more drunk, okay?
[08:51.040 --> 08:55.080]  It has to do with the proportion of water and fat and everything else, okay?
[08:55.900 --> 09:04.780]  But, basically, a woman has three drinks, a man has three drinks, and they're about the same height, weight, etc., and the woman will be more effectively drunk, less capable.
[09:04.940 --> 09:05.440]  Does that make sense?
[09:07.400 --> 09:08.900]  And, is that right, wrong?
[09:09.040 --> 09:09.720]  It's science.
[09:09.880 --> 09:10.220]  Sorry, dude.
[09:10.260 --> 09:11.620]  It's the way it is, okay?
[09:11.940 --> 09:17.720]  So, if a woman has five drinks, and you have five drinks as a guy, and you're both driving down the road, who's going to get pulled over?
[09:17.720 --> 09:20.360]  Well, probably her.
[09:21.320 --> 09:22.700]  Sorry, it's the way it is.
[09:22.920 --> 09:23.580]  I apologize.
[09:23.820 --> 09:26.500]  There is an actual, real, scientific gender gap, okay?
[09:26.920 --> 09:29.340]  So, that's the misconceptions.
[09:29.720 --> 09:33.600]  That's the legal-ish of the limits and everything else.
[09:35.840 --> 09:36.560]  Oh, my.
[09:36.860 --> 09:37.800]  Yellow sucks.
[09:41.760 --> 09:45.340]  The reason why we did it was that way I knew when I was supposed to get up and talk.
[09:45.340 --> 09:48.380]  So, how can a law enforcement officer...
[09:48.380 --> 09:55.320]  First step is, law enforcement officers out there patrolling, doing what they do, they see the driver.
[09:55.960 --> 10:03.700]  What do they have to see or experience that allows them to legally stop, stop the driver?
[10:03.700 --> 10:15.600]  They have to have evidence, as in visual evidence, that witnesses or suspects a violation of traffic laws.
[10:15.880 --> 10:26.700]  Something as simple as an inspection sticker that's invalid, out-of-date registration, a vehicle...
[10:27.400 --> 10:28.520]  Broken taillight!
[10:31.040 --> 10:43.880]  Are something like, I see evidence the way this person is operating their car, or vehicle, sorry, vehicle is the important word, in such a way that gives me a articulable suspicion.
[10:44.780 --> 10:57.220]  So, I just have to be able to, like, I have to be able to put in words, based on that law enforcement officer's experience and training, that I believe that person is violating the criminal code.
[10:58.560 --> 11:02.280]  Now, R, they can do a DUI, or other enforcement checkpoints.
[11:03.040 --> 11:09.520]  This is really interesting when they'll do them at, okay, if you live on the East Coast, there are these things called tollbooths.
[11:10.500 --> 11:12.660]  If you live in New Jersey, they're everywhere.
[11:12.840 --> 11:14.500]  I'm sorry, I grew up there.
[11:14.620 --> 11:16.500]  It's like, oh, yeah, why isn't there one in every corner?
[11:18.660 --> 11:22.920]  Yeah, moving to, like, the mid, you know, moving to, like, the South, they're like, why do you have those?
[11:23.260 --> 11:24.580]  You know, where is the tollbooth?
[11:24.580 --> 11:30.940]  But anyway, so they can put a cop there and just watch and stop everyone and just do a, you know, a quick eye and see, what are you doing?
[11:32.000 --> 11:37.720]  Those are both legal things that allow an officer to stop the motorist.
[11:39.000 --> 11:41.900]  If all motorists are stopped, that's lawful as well.
[11:42.520 --> 11:44.580]  It has to be some kind of enforcement checkpoint.
[11:44.580 --> 11:46.700]  We're checking to see, is your car stolen?
[11:47.960 --> 11:48.900]  Is the...
[11:49.600 --> 12:00.240]  This happens a lot in certain large motorcycle rallies where they will check to see if you are compliant with the vehicle code, i.e., is that muffler a little too loud?
[12:00.760 --> 12:02.480]  They can stop everyone for that.
[12:02.960 --> 12:08.800]  And while they're interacting with the operator, they go, hmm, someone's a little drunky.
[12:10.240 --> 12:25.340]  One note, evading a checkpoint, as in, you do something and you violate the vehicle code to avoid the checkpoint, that would be probable cause that you were doing something wrong.
[12:26.820 --> 12:40.820]  Avoiding it is not, as in, you're on a grid, streets, and you make, you know, you make the appropriate turns to go to the next block over and go through, that is avoiding a checkpoint, not probable cause.
[12:41.260 --> 12:49.100]  If you do a U-turn, and that is illegal in that state, that is probable cause that you've done something wrong and they can turn around and stop you.
[12:51.680 --> 13:14.660]  Now, one quick note, if the stop is illegal, if there's somehow we can prove that defense counsel, and I don't do that work, but if defense counsel can argue that the stop itself was unlawful, there was no actual, uh, uh, uh, technical suspicion to do the stop,
[13:15.100 --> 13:19.980]  we can try, they can try to get all the evidence subsequent to that kicked out against you.
[13:20.280 --> 13:21.680]  Fruit of the poison tree, right?
[13:22.220 --> 13:22.380]  Yeah.
[13:23.420 --> 13:23.940]  Okay.
[13:25.120 --> 13:28.700]  Um, thoughts about DW, DWI history and laws.
[13:29.280 --> 13:33.800]  Um, the laws pertaining to DWI are pressed down from the federal level.
[13:34.240 --> 13:39.780]  Most states had their own laws, but they're standardized effectively in order to get federal highway funds.
[13:42.040 --> 13:43.640]  Um, top-down approach...
[13:43.640 --> 13:44.560]  Otherwise known as extortion.
[13:45.120 --> 13:46.060]  But, I didn't say that.
[13:46.240 --> 13:47.100]  I didn't say that.
[13:47.780 --> 13:49.520]  Um, many variants and nuances.
[13:49.560 --> 13:52.480]  I didn't write this slide because I think they're generally fairly similar.
[13:52.860 --> 13:58.560]  Uh, for an arrest, an officer must be able to identify the person operating and in control of the vehicle.
[13:58.720 --> 14:03.460]  It does not require that they are in or operating the vehicle at that time.
[14:03.460 --> 14:10.260]  They merely have to identify, I have evidence that you were both intoxicated and operating a vehicle.
[14:10.600 --> 14:16.660]  And this can be something as simple as, you're in the car, you're drunk, you have the keys.
[14:17.860 --> 14:23.700]  That's enough evidence to show, because it doesn't have to be absolute from, you know, philosophical certainty.
[14:23.700 --> 14:27.780]  It has to be, to get conviction, it has to be beyond a reasonable doubt.
[14:28.160 --> 14:40.260]  Well, if you're drunk, passed out, in the passenger seat of your car, and the keys in the ignition, and you're in a country road, no one else in the car, how'd it get there?
[14:40.960 --> 14:41.840]  Immaculate birth?
[14:42.100 --> 14:43.040]  Immaculate conception?
[14:43.340 --> 14:43.620]  No.
[14:44.020 --> 14:45.680]  Bigfoot drove my car there.
[14:47.320 --> 14:49.340]  Then why is the seat all the way to the front?
[14:50.620 --> 14:52.320]  Come on, he's a dwarf Bigfoot.
[14:53.120 --> 14:53.660]  Okay.
[14:54.460 --> 14:54.980]  Ableist.
[14:56.400 --> 14:59.280]  So, and I read a bunch of cases to figure this out.
[14:59.480 --> 15:02.940]  I practice in Pennsylvania, so I read Pennsylvania cases.
[15:03.180 --> 15:04.900]  And the interesting bit is the second one.
[15:05.000 --> 15:05.660]  A vehicle.
[15:07.540 --> 15:09.780]  Reading stuff about conveyance.
[15:10.040 --> 15:14.100]  And there are a fair amount of Amish in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
[15:14.100 --> 15:23.400]  And there's some argument about, is a horse and buggy a vehicle for the purposes of the Pennsylvania Vehicle Code?
[15:23.440 --> 15:24.580]  And it turns out it is.
[15:24.740 --> 15:27.760]  Because it's some conveyance by which you go on the roads.
[15:27.880 --> 15:30.640]  But there are all these cases where people try to defend, like...
[15:31.440 --> 15:32.900]  I was driving a train.
[15:33.120 --> 15:34.220]  That's not a vehicle.
[15:34.760 --> 15:39.840]  And then some poor schmuck, some poor schmuck law clerk at a judge is like, Oh, I gotta go argue this.
[15:39.960 --> 15:43.240]  And write like an 18 page opinion going, Well, it's got wheels.
[15:43.240 --> 15:44.080]  It moves.
[15:44.240 --> 15:45.660]  Someone has to operate it.
[15:46.540 --> 15:48.400]  I'm really waiting for the subway one.
[15:48.520 --> 15:50.500]  Like, operating a subway while drunk.
[15:52.160 --> 15:53.140]  It's actually happened.
[15:53.320 --> 15:53.900]  I know.
[15:54.580 --> 15:56.460]  In New York City, by the way, it's actually happened.
[15:56.580 --> 15:58.700]  There have been cases of subway operators being drunk.
[15:59.380 --> 16:01.280]  Like, transit police, who are cops.
[16:01.460 --> 16:01.940]  Real cops.
[16:02.860 --> 16:04.220]  Go, you've gotta be kidding me.
[16:04.340 --> 16:06.780]  We brake like, you know, into the station.
[16:07.080 --> 16:09.080]  Go and grab the motor man.
[16:09.480 --> 16:12.100]  And go, Jesus, you're drunk as a lord.
[16:12.200 --> 16:12.960]  I mean, you know, I can...
[16:12.960 --> 16:15.180]  You reek of vodka or whatever.
[16:15.520 --> 16:16.080]  What the hell?
[16:16.120 --> 16:18.120]  He goes, it's not DWI.
[16:19.520 --> 16:21.360]  And they actually had to take him to court.
[16:21.760 --> 16:24.120]  Besides the fact that they had to call for a substitute motor man, you know.
[16:24.220 --> 16:25.460]  And can you imagine that radio call?
[16:25.740 --> 16:27.360]  Yeah, I need a substitute motor man.
[16:27.500 --> 16:28.100]  Oh, is he okay?
[16:28.100 --> 16:29.800]  Yeah, he's going to jail.
[16:30.940 --> 16:31.500]  Why?
[16:31.800 --> 16:35.120]  He was drunk driving a subway car with nine cars full...
[16:35.120 --> 16:35.840]  Ten cars.
[16:36.000 --> 16:38.360]  Ten cars full of 800 people.
[16:39.160 --> 16:40.340]  What could go wrong?
[16:42.260 --> 16:43.860]  And there's vomit in the booth.
[16:45.600 --> 16:46.160]  Okay.
[16:46.840 --> 16:48.300]  And they have to show...
[16:48.300 --> 16:54.100]  The third thing they have to show is that you are under the influence of a alcohol or other drug.
[16:55.580 --> 17:03.160]  Law enforcement, or the prosecutor in this case, has to prove all three points, all three of these elements of the crime, to get the conviction.
[17:05.920 --> 17:07.920]  It's based on the cumulative point system.
[17:08.040 --> 17:10.940]  I'm not sure why that's there, sir, who wrote these slides.
[17:11.660 --> 17:12.620]  Implied consent.
[17:13.040 --> 17:24.760]  There's another rule that, as a part of the vehicle code of pretty much every state, there's what we call implied consent, which is you consent to be tested when the officer says, I wish to test you.
[17:25.440 --> 17:30.580]  Driver's license is a privilege, when you sign up for one, you sign away some rights.
[17:31.040 --> 17:35.180]  If you don't have a driver's license, and you're driving a car, that's illegal.
[17:37.080 --> 17:38.440]  So, what they do is this.
[17:40.420 --> 17:44.300]  If they stop, you have the right to turn down the test.
[17:44.780 --> 17:46.180]  And they can sanction you.
[17:46.300 --> 17:48.000]  However, it's not a criminal violation.
[17:48.260 --> 17:50.640]  It is a civil violation, so you have no rights.
[17:50.840 --> 17:52.060]  But you won't go to jail.
[17:52.060 --> 17:55.760]  Now, this doesn't mean that if you're hammered, you get pulled over and go, I'm refusing the test.
[17:55.960 --> 17:57.240]  They can't convict me.
[17:57.420 --> 17:58.560]  That would be incorrect.
[17:59.020 --> 18:03.600]  Because they can use other evidence that says, y'all were messed up.
[18:05.300 --> 18:06.560]  Even without the test.
[18:06.680 --> 18:08.740]  The test is just another piece of evidence.
[18:09.640 --> 18:11.220]  You're slurring your words.
[18:11.660 --> 18:12.700]  You're dancing.
[18:13.100 --> 18:15.860]  You're doing whatever else you do when you're that drunk.
[18:16.180 --> 18:17.000]  Acting like Alex.
[18:18.940 --> 18:19.460]  Yeah.
[18:20.600 --> 18:21.680]  Love you too, Josh.
[18:31.100 --> 18:31.460]  Josh.
[18:31.500 --> 18:32.320]  Josh, you're up.
[18:35.760 --> 18:36.240]  Damn it.
[18:36.440 --> 18:37.640]  I almost had the hat right.
[18:39.380 --> 18:39.740]  Okay.
[18:40.420 --> 18:42.060]  So, let's talk about our terms.
[18:42.480 --> 18:43.420]  This is pretty straightforward.
[18:43.620 --> 18:44.040]  This is a quick slide.
[18:44.180 --> 18:45.140]  It's cool, isn't it, dude?
[18:45.720 --> 18:46.660]  It's our third presenter.
[18:47.180 --> 18:47.320]  All right.
[18:47.600 --> 18:48.520]  DUI, DWI.
[18:48.640 --> 18:50.160]  Driving while intoxicated, driving while under the influence.
[18:50.160 --> 18:50.820]  Just walk away.
[18:53.840 --> 18:54.400]  Never mind.
[18:54.720 --> 18:56.480]  Driving under the influence, driving while intoxicated.
[18:56.600 --> 18:57.280]  We know what that means.
[18:57.440 --> 18:58.380]  It doesn't mean while drunk.
[18:58.380 --> 19:01.460]  It means while under the influence of something that impairs you.
[19:01.700 --> 19:01.940]  Make sense?
[19:02.500 --> 19:02.600]  Cool.
[19:03.620 --> 19:06.520]  The detection process is known as the SFSTs.
[19:06.680 --> 19:08.000]  The standard field sobriety tests.
[19:08.480 --> 19:09.740]  Our standardized field sobriety testing.
[19:10.120 --> 19:12.560]  Preliminary breath test is the one they give you on site.
[19:13.080 --> 19:17.260]  This is different from the one they give you at the jail, the hospital, the station, the whatever.
[19:17.260 --> 19:18.400]  I'll explain in a minute.
[19:18.660 --> 19:18.740]  Okay?
[19:19.640 --> 19:20.700]  Blood alcohol level.
[19:20.820 --> 19:21.400]  Blood alcohol concentration.
[19:22.060 --> 19:22.760]  We understand BAC.
[19:22.880 --> 19:27.420]  Remember point eight or point one is where they go, hi, turn around, put your hands behind your back.
[19:27.620 --> 19:28.020]  Click, click.
[19:28.140 --> 19:28.700]  Let's go to jail.
[19:30.660 --> 19:31.440]  Alveolar breath.
[19:31.600 --> 19:32.920]  Breath from the deepest part of the lungs.
[19:32.980 --> 19:34.600]  Why do they want alveolar breath?
[19:34.740 --> 19:37.140]  Because that's where all that alcohol sort of circulates.
[19:38.200 --> 19:38.600]  Okay?
[19:39.720 --> 19:40.900]  Divided attention test.
[19:41.180 --> 19:42.180]  Can you pay attention?
[19:42.480 --> 19:42.800]  Hi.
[19:42.940 --> 19:43.500]  What's your name?
[19:43.920 --> 19:46.560]  Now count backwards from a hundred by tens.
[19:46.940 --> 19:47.960]  Can you do that at the same time?
[19:48.420 --> 19:50.320]  And by the way, what's the person on your left wearing?
[19:50.900 --> 19:51.540]  Do you know?
[19:52.080 --> 19:52.900]  See, he fails.
[19:53.120 --> 19:54.460]  And he isn't even drunk or driving.
[19:56.580 --> 19:58.180]  Basically, can you multitask?
[19:58.500 --> 19:58.680]  Okay?
[19:59.820 --> 20:00.840]  We all have ADD.
[20:00.980 --> 20:02.280]  We're probably awesome at this.
[20:03.440 --> 20:03.720]  All right.
[20:03.880 --> 20:04.700]  HGN, VGN.
[20:04.920 --> 20:06.660]  Horizontal vertical gaze nystagmus.
[20:06.800 --> 20:07.640]  Follow my finger.
[20:08.860 --> 20:10.440]  I'll get into that more in a second.
[20:10.760 --> 20:12.620]  And the three phase detection process.
[20:12.620 --> 20:13.860]  We'll explain that as well in a sec.
[20:14.440 --> 20:15.320]  So these are our terms.
[20:15.620 --> 20:16.800]  Just a nomenclature.
[20:17.040 --> 20:17.320]  Jargon.
[20:17.500 --> 20:18.240]  So you get the idea.
[20:19.520 --> 20:19.920]  Okay.
[20:20.200 --> 20:20.340]  So.
[20:21.200 --> 20:23.980]  There is the three phase detection of you drunk.
[20:24.640 --> 20:25.040]  Okay?
[20:25.380 --> 20:26.780]  One is the vehicle in motion.
[20:26.940 --> 20:28.060]  Now, what is the vehicle in motion?
[20:28.260 --> 20:29.660]  Hopefully going down a straight line.
[20:30.260 --> 20:32.620]  If it's not a straight line, that's a problem.
[20:33.240 --> 20:36.440]  Then there's the personal contact, the pre arrest screening, and the preliminary breath test.
[20:36.620 --> 20:38.420]  So it's a three phase, four phase.
[20:38.640 --> 20:41.400]  Well, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition process.
[20:43.700 --> 20:45.080]  This is the important part.
[20:45.920 --> 20:47.280]  Everything has to be standardized.
[20:48.120 --> 20:48.240]  Okay?
[20:49.260 --> 20:56.340]  As I go through the three phases of getting you arrested, everything has to be a standard process, standard procedure.
[20:56.700 --> 20:59.520]  Has anybody here ever had to do that for your data center or for anything like that?
[20:59.580 --> 21:00.780]  ISO 27001?
[21:01.000 --> 21:01.720]  Anything like that?
[21:02.160 --> 21:02.400]  Right?
[21:02.820 --> 21:03.140]  Okay.
[21:03.600 --> 21:04.320]  Lot of people.
[21:04.440 --> 21:05.500]  You understand the idea, at least.
[21:05.500 --> 21:08.480]  You have to have a process and a procedure and you have to stick to it.
[21:08.660 --> 21:10.640]  If you don't, there are penalties.
[21:11.380 --> 21:16.940]  So when an officer says, and by the way, Alex the lawyer said it has to be an articulable reason to pull you over, right?
[21:17.340 --> 21:17.660]  Okay?
[21:17.940 --> 21:22.240]  I have to be able to write out or say out and then write out why I did it.
[21:22.320 --> 21:23.820]  And it has to be the same every time.
[21:23.820 --> 21:27.000]  I mean, it doesn't have to be I saw him sort of to the right, then the left, then the right, then the left.
[21:27.240 --> 21:27.860]  Next case.
[21:28.180 --> 21:28.700]  Right, then left.
[21:28.840 --> 21:28.940]  No.
[21:29.300 --> 21:34.660]  But every time you have to give a very stable, solid, reasoned way of what you did and why you did it.
[21:34.780 --> 21:37.660]  And you have to follow a fairly solid formula every time.
[21:38.060 --> 21:42.920]  So, I followed vehicle X with license plate Y at speed Z.
[21:43.300 --> 21:45.180]  He was swerving all over the road.
[21:45.740 --> 21:52.220]  I determined that this was an inappropriate use of the roadway and a potential violation of the driving code.
[21:52.220 --> 21:59.280]  Therefore, I pulled vehicle over for a license registration and insurance check and to determine whether there was a problem with the vehicle.
[21:59.520 --> 22:00.160]  Next case.
[22:00.380 --> 22:01.880]  You're going to say roughly similar things.
[22:02.180 --> 22:03.240]  You'll explain what they did.
[22:03.360 --> 22:05.740]  But other than that, it'll be pretty much word for word.
[22:05.880 --> 22:07.000]  It's a standardized formula.
[22:07.280 --> 22:09.780]  I walked up to the vehicle on the left hand side.
[22:10.120 --> 22:14.480]  The vehicle was this color, was this age, was this make, was this model.
[22:14.960 --> 22:16.100]  I determined this.
[22:16.220 --> 22:16.780]  I saw this.
[22:16.980 --> 22:19.700]  I saw the open bottle of vodka in the passenger seat.
[22:19.860 --> 22:21.680]  I saw him leaning out the window puking.
[22:21.680 --> 22:23.840]  I smelled vodka from 30 meters away.
[22:24.300 --> 22:27.360]  I determined I probably was going to have to perform the SFSTs.
[22:28.100 --> 22:28.320]  Okay?
[22:29.180 --> 22:31.920]  Again, when I was a cop, there was a very, very simple maxim.
[22:32.240 --> 22:35.700]  They said you can only be a cop in one circumstance if you can write it.
[22:35.820 --> 22:38.040]  If you can't write it, don't fight it.
[22:38.780 --> 22:39.140]  Okay?
[22:39.420 --> 22:41.140]  Don't get into a fight if you can't write it out.
[22:41.240 --> 22:44.740]  Because if you can't write it up so that we can defend it, you're going to go to jail as a cop.
[22:46.540 --> 22:49.160]  So they're going to do things in a standardized fashion.
[22:49.500 --> 22:49.600]  Okay?
[22:51.260 --> 22:52.100]  That's why...
[22:52.100 --> 22:55.260]  And the reason for that is because basically if you don't standardize it...
[22:55.260 --> 22:57.860]  Let's say I arrest these first three rows right here.
[22:57.980 --> 22:59.060]  About, what, ten people or so?
[22:59.380 --> 23:03.980]  And I have report after report after report after report after report after report after report.
[23:04.140 --> 23:05.920]  And they're all in that nice formula.
[23:05.920 --> 23:07.100]  They're easy to read.
[23:07.320 --> 23:08.460]  They're clearly articulated.
[23:08.880 --> 23:09.700]  Everything works.
[23:10.060 --> 23:13.660]  And then the tenth person, she's up here and she pissed me off.
[23:13.880 --> 23:15.580]  She just pissed me off.
[23:15.740 --> 23:17.380]  I should have picked on the one behind you, but that's okay.
[23:17.740 --> 23:19.240]  She pissed me off.
[23:19.340 --> 23:21.760]  And so I didn't even bother with the SFSTs.
[23:21.840 --> 23:25.120]  I just slung her in the back of the car cuffed and took her to jail.
[23:26.840 --> 23:29.440]  And her lawyer is going to go, Really?
[23:30.140 --> 23:33.280]  Can I see the other reports you wrote that week, that month, that quarter, that year?
[23:33.460 --> 23:34.220]  Sure, here they are.
[23:34.220 --> 23:35.980]  Because that's part of discovery, right?
[23:36.660 --> 23:37.000]  Yeah.
[23:37.000 --> 23:37.280]  Okay.
[23:37.740 --> 23:43.780]  And he's going to say, Hey, you followed this procedure for him and him and her and her and her and him and her and him.
[23:44.120 --> 23:45.960]  And you didn't follow that procedure with her.
[23:46.060 --> 23:46.180]  Why?
[23:46.300 --> 23:47.800]  Was there a personal bias?
[23:49.980 --> 23:50.420]  Sexism?
[23:50.900 --> 23:51.320]  Ageism?
[23:51.500 --> 23:51.880]  Ableism?
[23:53.100 --> 23:55.540]  Because she's got a red purse, isn't it?
[23:55.900 --> 23:56.280]  Yeah.
[23:56.800 --> 23:58.740]  We all know those ginger purse people.
[24:01.730 --> 24:04.430]  I think we're going to walk away from this one, aren't we?
[24:04.430 --> 24:05.690]  And the judge is going to go, Yeah.
[24:06.070 --> 24:06.670]  Sorry, dude.
[24:07.170 --> 24:07.690]  Out of here.
[24:08.930 --> 24:10.250]  Everything's got to be the same.
[24:10.830 --> 24:11.670]  Does that make sense to everybody?
[24:13.070 --> 24:13.390]  Okay.
[24:15.090 --> 24:17.250]  So, for each jurisdiction, different nuances.
[24:17.490 --> 24:18.170]  It changes a bit.
[24:18.290 --> 24:18.890]  It changes a bit.
[24:18.950 --> 24:19.590]  It changes a bit.
[24:19.710 --> 24:21.110]  You know, we have toll booths in Jersey.
[24:21.330 --> 24:22.350]  We have toll booths in DC.
[24:22.630 --> 24:24.270]  But you go to Delaware and they go, tolls?
[24:24.290 --> 24:24.870]  What the hell is that?
[24:25.030 --> 24:25.190]  Okay.
[24:26.170 --> 24:28.350]  Everything's different in different places, but the idea is the same.
[24:28.430 --> 24:29.250]  It's got to be consistent.
[24:29.250 --> 24:30.590]  It's got to be articulatable.
[24:30.930 --> 24:31.290]  Articulable?
[24:31.570 --> 24:31.930]  Articulable.
[24:32.430 --> 24:34.350]  It's got to be the same way every time.
[24:35.110 --> 24:35.230]  Okay.
[24:37.390 --> 24:37.750]  Okay.
[24:37.870 --> 24:38.390]  Vehicle in motion.
[24:38.470 --> 24:41.910]  Now we're going to go through the phases of pulling you over and going, Hey!
[24:42.130 --> 24:42.730]  Jail time!
[24:43.370 --> 24:44.750]  Look what you've won tonight!
[24:45.370 --> 24:49.310]  Would you like, left door, door number one on the left side of the cop car, or door number two on the right side?
[24:49.490 --> 24:50.730]  Those are your only two choices.
[24:51.670 --> 24:51.910]  Okay.
[24:52.110 --> 24:54.190]  So, vehicle in motion.
[24:54.750 --> 24:56.230]  Visual cues of impaired operation.
[24:56.230 --> 24:58.470]  He was swerving all over the road.
[24:59.070 --> 24:59.470]  Okay.
[24:59.550 --> 25:00.270]  He was everywhere.
[25:00.670 --> 25:01.330]  That's a visual cue.
[25:02.770 --> 25:04.290]  Recognition and description of initial cues.
[25:04.610 --> 25:06.930]  I recognized he was swerving all over the road.
[25:07.230 --> 25:07.630]  Okay.
[25:08.070 --> 25:09.290]  Again, can you articulate it?
[25:09.350 --> 25:09.870]  Can you write it?
[25:11.150 --> 25:12.990]  Reinforcement of cues and decision to stop vehicle.
[25:13.270 --> 25:16.910]  I pulled up behind him, put the lights and sirens on, and he still swerved all over the road.
[25:17.450 --> 25:18.470]  That's a reinforcement.
[25:19.730 --> 25:25.890]  Now, if you're, you know, nervous and a cop coming up behind you and flipping his lights on me, thinking, oh, God, that's okay.
[25:26.890 --> 25:28.330]  That's not going to get you arrested.
[25:29.250 --> 25:29.610]  Alright?
[25:29.870 --> 25:30.190]  Relax.
[25:30.770 --> 25:32.390]  What that's going to do is he might pull you over.
[25:33.450 --> 25:34.750]  But that's not an arrest.
[25:35.190 --> 25:36.050]  What is an arrest?
[25:36.310 --> 25:38.830]  When I can say as a cop, hey, I saw him swerving.
[25:39.330 --> 25:42.050]  I did this, I did this, we'll go into this and that in a second.
[25:42.310 --> 25:43.850]  But it's an additive process.
[25:44.050 --> 25:45.530]  I'm adding evidence to the pile.
[25:45.710 --> 25:48.010]  When the pile gets this high, I've got probable cause.
[25:48.270 --> 25:50.190]  When the pile gets this high, you go to jail.
[25:50.650 --> 25:51.610]  Does that make sense, everybody?
[25:52.090 --> 25:54.270]  All the evidence we're going to talk about right now is additive.
[25:54.870 --> 25:54.950]  Okay?
[25:55.010 --> 25:55.590]  It just keeps adding.
[25:55.630 --> 25:56.950]  It's probably not a legal term, forgive me.
[25:57.030 --> 25:58.670]  But it just keeps adding onto the pile.
[25:58.870 --> 25:59.110]  Okay?
[25:59.450 --> 26:03.670]  So the first phase is I see a car acting funny in some form or fashion.
[26:04.110 --> 26:04.770]  Point one.
[26:05.190 --> 26:06.030]  Couple of points there.
[26:06.130 --> 26:06.270]  Okay?
[26:06.270 --> 26:07.110]  We're adding to the pile.
[26:07.410 --> 26:07.770]  Next.
[26:12.580 --> 26:13.520]  We're going to stop him.
[26:14.340 --> 26:15.680]  Is he going to try and flee?
[26:16.340 --> 26:17.440]  Cause that'll be fun.
[26:19.180 --> 26:21.400]  If he's not going to flee, if he's going to pull over, that's great.
[26:21.500 --> 26:22.360]  That's a normal response.
[26:22.780 --> 26:26.560]  If he pulls over 10 minutes later, that's not a normal response.
[26:27.280 --> 26:28.920]  If he pulls over and then pulls out.
[26:29.000 --> 26:30.400]  If he pulls over and pulls out, pulls out...
[26:30.400 --> 26:31.040]  And I've seen it happen.
[26:31.040 --> 26:31.580]  It's really weird.
[26:32.020 --> 26:34.280]  Like, would you make up your mind?
[26:35.180 --> 26:36.420]  That's not a normal response.
[26:36.660 --> 26:37.520]  Adding to the pile.
[26:37.640 --> 26:38.940]  This is an additive piece of evidence.
[26:39.320 --> 26:39.880]  What's a normal...
[26:39.880 --> 26:40.740]  Like a Rorschach test.
[26:40.900 --> 26:41.880]  What's a normal response?
[26:42.300 --> 26:42.700]  Butterfly.
[26:42.840 --> 26:43.780]  What's an abnormal response?
[26:44.280 --> 26:47.640]  Monk killing a cat with a leaf-bladed knife.
[26:48.860 --> 26:49.260]  Okay.
[26:50.520 --> 26:51.200]  We'll talk.
[26:53.220 --> 26:54.640]  These are all abnormal or...
[26:55.720 --> 26:57.200]  Yeah, these are all abnormal right here.
[26:58.040 --> 26:58.980]  Everything's being recorded.
[26:59.300 --> 27:00.500]  Where is it being recorded?
[27:00.620 --> 27:01.280]  Anybody have an idea?
[27:03.160 --> 27:03.560]  What?
[27:04.220 --> 27:05.340]  Video camera in the car.
[27:05.480 --> 27:06.600]  In the... your car?
[27:06.740 --> 27:07.620]  You have a video camera in your car?
[27:07.880 --> 27:09.520]  Well, I do, but mostly...
[27:09.520 --> 27:10.620]  Okay, he's right.
[27:10.740 --> 27:13.540]  It's being recorded by a dash cam or a video camera in the cop car.
[27:13.940 --> 27:15.400]  These are many, many different models.
[27:15.600 --> 27:21.900]  In the old days, there was literally a freaking VHS camcorder turned upside down and bolted via the tripod hole to the top of the cop car.
[27:22.100 --> 27:25.260]  I knew a lot of cops that had like bandages here permanently because they'd lean out...
[27:25.260 --> 27:25.420]  Oh!
[27:26.960 --> 27:27.340]  Okay?
[27:27.620 --> 27:28.660]  They've gotten tiny.
[27:28.860 --> 27:31.200]  If you haven't seen hidden cameras, they're amazing.
[27:31.360 --> 27:32.580]  And they use them in cop cars.
[27:32.720 --> 27:33.920]  And I'm going to sneeze in a minute, so forgive me.
[27:34.020 --> 27:34.360]  But...
[27:35.360 --> 27:37.360]  The dash cameras are this big now.
[27:37.540 --> 27:39.480]  Like literally just tiny.
[27:39.700 --> 27:40.160]  It's ridiculous.
[27:40.480 --> 27:40.660]  Okay?
[27:40.660 --> 27:41.560]  And they record...
[27:41.560 --> 27:43.280]  Some of them record the entire shift.
[27:45.240 --> 27:45.880]  God, I hate that.
[27:46.020 --> 27:47.400]  Some of them record...
[27:48.040 --> 27:48.900]  Lay off the coke.
[27:49.320 --> 27:49.940]  Thank you, dear.
[27:51.960 --> 27:52.720]  That's my fiance.
[27:55.200 --> 27:57.320]  If you didn't see Schmook on, you didn't see us get engaged.
[27:57.460 --> 27:57.620]  Anyway.
[27:59.720 --> 28:00.040]  So...
[28:01.920 --> 28:02.240]  Recorded.
[28:02.340 --> 28:02.460]  Sorry.
[28:02.560 --> 28:03.020]  Dash cams.
[28:03.160 --> 28:04.200]  The dash cams are tiny.
[28:04.360 --> 28:05.120]  You can't see them.
[28:05.320 --> 28:07.040]  Sometimes the camera's on the cop itself.
[28:07.420 --> 28:07.680]  Okay?
[28:07.720 --> 28:09.000]  There's a dash cam and a cop cam.
[28:09.000 --> 28:11.260]  Some of them don't have cameras on the cop.
[28:11.420 --> 28:15.160]  Some of them have a microphone on the cop that feeds the camera.
[28:15.340 --> 28:16.800]  So you're like, oh, I can say anything.
[28:16.920 --> 28:17.800]  I can go, hey, f*ck nuts.
[28:18.180 --> 28:19.620]  And they won't hear it on the camera.
[28:20.080 --> 28:20.800]  They might.
[28:21.540 --> 28:22.120]  Guess what?
[28:22.200 --> 28:23.720]  That's called additive evidence.
[28:24.660 --> 28:25.700]  Rude to the police.
[28:25.960 --> 28:26.220]  Hmm.
[28:26.400 --> 28:27.340]  We don't like you anymore.
[28:28.100 --> 28:28.460]  Okay.
[28:29.240 --> 28:29.600]  So...
[28:30.060 --> 28:31.020]  Everything's being recorded.
[28:31.440 --> 28:32.580]  Keep your wits about you.
[28:33.580 --> 28:33.740]  Yeah.
[28:34.220 --> 28:34.580]  Okay.
[28:34.580 --> 28:34.600]  Okay.
[28:35.020 --> 28:36.660]  So we've got the vehicle stopped.
[28:36.880 --> 28:37.600]  We've pulled them over.
[28:37.760 --> 28:38.780]  He didn't respond...
[28:38.780 --> 28:39.660]  Didn't attempt to flee.
[28:39.800 --> 28:40.760]  It was a normal response.
[28:40.920 --> 28:41.100]  Okay.
[28:41.180 --> 28:42.520]  I don't add anything to the pile, right?
[28:42.780 --> 28:43.360]  Okay, cool.
[28:43.560 --> 28:44.380]  I walk up.
[28:44.700 --> 28:45.380]  Yes, officer.
[28:45.580 --> 28:46.480]  What can I do for you?
[28:46.920 --> 28:47.940]  Oh, okay.
[28:48.180 --> 28:50.060]  He's speaking normally, not slurring his words.
[28:50.160 --> 28:50.480]  These are...
[28:50.480 --> 28:50.840]  These are...
[28:51.400 --> 28:52.380]  These are normal responses.
[28:52.380 --> 28:54.500]  So now I'm making personal contact, right?
[28:55.000 --> 28:55.300]  Okay.
[28:55.560 --> 28:56.580]  I'm seeing somebody.
[28:57.040 --> 28:58.740]  Now, sometimes you see interesting things.
[28:59.420 --> 29:00.180]  Can anybody...
[29:00.180 --> 29:00.820]  Can you guys see that?
[29:01.140 --> 29:02.120]  It's kind of smaller in there.
[29:02.360 --> 29:03.980]  If you can't see that, I'll explain it.
[29:04.280 --> 29:10.500]  It's a guy having his hands in handcuffs behind his back, having a smug cop holding this guy's shirt up to where it reveals the tattoo.
[29:10.900 --> 29:11.740]  F*ck the police.
[29:13.560 --> 29:14.040]  Oops.
[29:14.460 --> 29:16.180]  Hoist on your own petard, sir.
[29:17.700 --> 29:18.660]  Okay, so...
[29:18.660 --> 29:19.600]  Personal contact.
[29:19.620 --> 29:20.660]  I'm talking to somebody.
[29:21.260 --> 29:21.800]  Hello, sir.
[29:21.880 --> 29:22.360]  How are you today?
[29:22.460 --> 29:23.040]  Are you doing all right?
[29:25.100 --> 29:25.740]  He's drunk.
[29:26.520 --> 29:27.060]  Okay, sir.
[29:27.400 --> 29:29.340]  So, I'd like your license, registration, and insurance.
[29:29.480 --> 29:30.100]  Can I see those, please?
[29:31.040 --> 29:32.440]  I don't have mine with me.
[29:33.400 --> 29:33.720]  Really?
[29:34.020 --> 29:35.120]  You're definitely going to jail.
[29:35.240 --> 29:36.120]  And your car's getting towed.
[29:36.180 --> 29:37.620]  But let's talk about your drunkenness for a moment.
[29:38.220 --> 29:38.680]  No, seriously.
[29:38.960 --> 29:40.180]  It's a personal contact thing.
[29:40.300 --> 29:41.120]  I talk to you.
[29:41.300 --> 29:42.760]  I take notes of what's going on.
[29:42.820 --> 29:43.980]  It doesn't even really matter what I say.
[29:45.320 --> 29:45.640]  Achoo!
[29:51.020 --> 29:52.580]  That's the most applause I've ever gotten.
[29:52.740 --> 29:53.740]  It was for me freaking sneezing.
[29:53.740 --> 29:54.560]  I feel like I'm on Reddit.
[29:55.040 --> 29:55.240]  Anyway.
[29:56.520 --> 29:57.740]  If only I had a cat.
[29:58.200 --> 29:58.560]  Okay.
[30:00.680 --> 30:02.000]  So, it's personal contact.
[30:02.200 --> 30:02.940]  It's, what are you doing?
[30:03.060 --> 30:03.860]  How are you doing it?
[30:03.900 --> 30:04.640]  What's going on?
[30:05.100 --> 30:07.740]  I'm taking note of the reactions you're giving me.
[30:07.860 --> 30:08.620]  Does that make sense to everybody?
[30:08.880 --> 30:10.440]  I'm not really caring what you're saying.
[30:10.560 --> 30:12.580]  I mean, I care in terms of, is he slurring?
[30:12.780 --> 30:16.080]  Is she, you know, doing the, hey, officer, how you doing?
[30:17.160 --> 30:18.660]  I don't want to get arrested.
[30:18.880 --> 30:20.860]  Is there something we can work out here?
[30:21.960 --> 30:22.660]  Two points.
[30:23.760 --> 30:26.340]  No, that's a f*ck ton more than two points, dude.
[30:27.080 --> 30:27.740]  Additive evidence.
[30:27.900 --> 30:28.000]  Okay.
[30:28.020 --> 30:29.360]  We're adding evidence to the pile.
[30:29.660 --> 30:30.680]  I'm going to stop.
[30:31.540 --> 30:34.080]  Oh, and by the way, challenge questions.
[30:34.300 --> 30:35.460]  Sir, have you been drinking tonight?
[30:36.560 --> 30:38.400]  Sir, have you been drinking tonight?
[30:39.520 --> 30:40.240]  Not tonight.
[30:41.140 --> 30:42.420]  Sir, when was the last time you were drinking?
[30:46.850 --> 30:48.330]  Uh, today.
[30:51.640 --> 30:54.160]  He just said, hi, would you take me to jail, please?
[30:55.440 --> 31:00.760]  Okay, so basically, if you get stopped by an officer and he says, Sir, have you been drinking?
[31:00.900 --> 31:01.660]  What do you say?
[31:02.740 --> 31:03.080]  No.
[31:03.680 --> 31:04.360]  Well, okay.
[31:04.580 --> 31:05.700]  Are you going to lie to the officer?
[31:05.860 --> 31:06.640]  Because we don't want to do that.
[31:06.880 --> 31:07.520]  Seriously, we don't.
[31:08.480 --> 31:14.160]  Officer, I'd, uh, if you're going to ask me questions to get guilt out of me, I'm going to take the fifth.
[31:14.520 --> 31:15.560]  I'm not actually joking.
[31:16.040 --> 31:17.480]  You're not allowed to admit guilt.
[31:17.620 --> 31:17.820]  Alright?
[31:18.020 --> 31:20.540]  If you haven't heard about your fifth amendment rights, go talk to the EFF.
[31:20.680 --> 31:21.480]  They're really nice people.
[31:22.380 --> 31:22.740]  Okay?
[31:23.200 --> 31:26.200]  Um, now if you go, dude, I'm going to take the fifth.
[31:26.600 --> 31:28.060]  He's going to be like, a fifth of what?
[31:29.910 --> 31:31.660]  But seriously, don't admit guilt.
[31:31.800 --> 31:32.440]  Honest to God.
[31:32.580 --> 31:34.220]  Because if you admit guilt, you're just giving up.
[31:34.460 --> 31:34.780]  Alright?
[31:35.360 --> 31:37.640]  Make him work for his money, make him work for his salary.
[31:37.860 --> 31:37.960]  Okay?
[31:38.900 --> 31:40.500]  Believe me, if you're drunk, he will get you.
[31:40.620 --> 31:43.840]  This is not a talk on how to beat this, because you're not going to.
[31:44.820 --> 31:45.180]  Alright?
[31:45.440 --> 31:46.460]  Don't try and beat it.
[31:46.600 --> 31:46.880]  Please.
[31:47.100 --> 31:47.460]  Seriously.
[31:47.680 --> 31:50.180]  Because I don't want you drunken on the road, because you'll hit me.
[31:50.340 --> 31:51.320]  And you'll ruin my haircut.
[31:52.720 --> 31:53.080]  Alright?
[31:53.180 --> 31:55.540]  Because scalping my ass is not going to make my hair any better.
[31:57.060 --> 31:58.040]  Don't be drunk and drive.
[31:58.200 --> 31:58.840]  That's dumbass.
[31:59.320 --> 31:59.600]  Alright?
[31:59.800 --> 32:03.440]  But everything you do when I have contact with you is a clue.
[32:03.900 --> 32:04.300]  Everything.
[32:04.660 --> 32:06.560]  If you admit to drinking, that's not a clue.
[32:06.700 --> 32:07.440]  That's a slam dunk.
[32:07.600 --> 32:08.720]  But we'll leave it alone for now.
[32:09.700 --> 32:09.880]  Alright.
[32:10.140 --> 32:11.080]  Personal contact.
[32:11.340 --> 32:12.180]  Pre-exit interview.
[32:13.020 --> 32:13.820]  This is...
[32:13.820 --> 32:16.580]  You may be okay, but I might let you go, but I might not.
[32:17.900 --> 32:18.700]  Hey, um...
[32:18.700 --> 32:20.560]  Okay, so what's your middle name again, sir?
[32:20.600 --> 32:21.220]  And where did you live?
[32:23.300 --> 32:23.700]  Uh...
[32:24.620 --> 32:25.020]  Um...
[32:25.600 --> 32:26.000]  Um...
[32:26.000 --> 32:26.360]  Dude?
[32:27.520 --> 32:28.380]  Not a good answer.
[32:29.640 --> 32:31.160]  Ask a couple questions simultaneously.
[32:31.420 --> 32:32.120]  Try to distract them.
[32:32.240 --> 32:33.660]  This is not a full metal jacket thing.
[32:34.040 --> 32:35.260]  Who do you think I am?
[32:35.500 --> 32:37.060]  You know, and asking three questions.
[32:37.180 --> 32:38.360]  And whatever you answer, you're effed.
[32:38.660 --> 32:38.840]  Okay?
[32:39.080 --> 32:40.380]  This is just getting a couple of questions.
[32:40.500 --> 32:41.380]  Can you multitask?
[32:41.440 --> 32:41.980]  Can you track?
[32:42.460 --> 32:42.700]  Okay?
[32:43.620 --> 32:44.660]  Looking for hesitation.
[32:47.220 --> 32:47.620]  Uh...
[32:48.880 --> 32:49.700]  You're not drunk.
[32:49.860 --> 32:50.600]  You're stoned, right?
[32:50.800 --> 32:51.020]  Yeah.
[32:53.200 --> 32:53.640]  Okay.
[32:54.180 --> 33:01.760]  Am I going to proceed with an SFST, an actual test, standard field sobriety test, or am I going to go, dude, you're just stupid.
[33:01.920 --> 33:02.120]  Drive.
[33:03.020 --> 33:03.460]  Okay?
[33:03.820 --> 33:09.630]  So let's say we go to the standard field sobriety test because he's drunk.
[33:10.190 --> 33:12.470]  This is, I think you're drunk.
[33:12.750 --> 33:13.830]  Let's do some testing.
[33:14.090 --> 33:14.910]  Step out of the car.
[33:15.150 --> 33:16.010]  Let's have a little chat.
[33:16.730 --> 33:18.210]  So what are the tests?
[33:18.770 --> 33:21.310]  There are various tests that actually get combined.
[33:21.310 --> 33:24.430]  There's three main tests, and then I can add a little difficulty to them.
[33:24.570 --> 33:24.710]  You know?
[33:25.390 --> 33:26.110]  Challenge tests.
[33:26.350 --> 33:26.830]  All right?
[33:27.130 --> 33:28.330]  So there's the three tests.
[33:28.450 --> 33:29.190]  I'll go into that in a second.
[33:29.310 --> 33:30.530]  But then there's the additive pieces.
[33:30.770 --> 33:32.010]  And we're not talking about the additive evidence.
[33:32.110 --> 33:33.470]  We're talking about additive pieces of the test.
[33:33.730 --> 33:38.210]  Can you stand on one leg while counting backwards from 100 by 12s?
[33:38.590 --> 33:45.490]  Can you walk down a straight line, turn around and walk back, the walk and turn test, while reciting the alphabet backwards?
[33:45.950 --> 33:47.170]  Again, what are we doing?
[33:47.350 --> 33:48.830]  Are we actually seeing if you can walk?
[33:49.010 --> 33:49.330]  No.
[33:49.330 --> 33:50.990]  I'm seeing if you can multitask.
[33:51.190 --> 33:53.930]  Can you multitask without falling over and smacking your head on the ground?
[33:54.370 --> 33:55.870]  Can you answer me effectively?
[33:56.070 --> 33:56.930]  Can you track?
[33:57.330 --> 33:58.310]  Can you focus?
[33:58.670 --> 33:59.690]  Can you follow instruction?
[33:59.930 --> 34:00.670]  Does that make sense to everybody?
[34:01.590 --> 34:01.950]  Okay.
[34:04.650 --> 34:05.530]  Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
[34:05.710 --> 34:07.050]  I skipped something incredibly important.
[34:08.030 --> 34:08.850]  Did I go that right there?
[34:09.150 --> 34:09.490]  Nope.
[34:11.610 --> 34:13.050]  Is backspace not back on yours?
[34:13.730 --> 34:14.450]  Left arrow.
[34:14.450 --> 34:14.570]  No.
[34:14.730 --> 34:15.410]  Oh, dear God.
[34:17.190 --> 34:17.970]  Try again.
[34:18.070 --> 34:18.430]  Didn't work.
[34:20.210 --> 34:21.310]  Right arrow works.
[34:21.570 --> 34:22.150]  Up, down.
[34:24.670 --> 34:25.190]  Dude.
[34:28.810 --> 34:29.650]  Not cool.
[34:30.510 --> 34:33.730]  And he's got the most effed up mouse pad known to mankind.
[34:34.090 --> 34:35.190]  I can only use the keyboard clip.
[34:37.190 --> 34:37.870]  Where are we?
[34:37.970 --> 34:38.090]  Here?
[34:38.750 --> 34:39.110]  Yeah.
[34:39.310 --> 34:39.430]  Okay.
[34:39.550 --> 34:39.650]  Look.
[34:45.290 --> 34:45.640]  Slideshow.
[34:46.500 --> 34:47.080]  There we go.
[34:47.460 --> 34:47.680]  Okay.
[34:48.810 --> 34:49.160]  Shush.
[34:49.660 --> 34:50.020]  Yes.
[34:50.120 --> 34:51.410]  Comic Sans is his system font.
[34:51.830 --> 34:53.480]  He does that just to piss people off.
[34:53.560 --> 34:54.620]  You missed the first part of the lecture.
[34:54.760 --> 34:54.950]  All right.
[34:55.500 --> 34:55.860]  Here.
[34:56.080 --> 34:56.360]  Right here.
[34:56.850 --> 34:58.320]  Do you have...
[34:58.320 --> 34:59.860]  Are you on medication, sir?
[35:00.180 --> 35:01.100]  Do you have eye problems?
[35:01.160 --> 35:01.540]  Are you nervous?
[35:01.620 --> 35:02.390]  I don't want you to be nervous.
[35:02.500 --> 35:02.800]  It's cool.
[35:02.860 --> 35:03.930]  If you're nervous, take a breath.
[35:04.040 --> 35:04.360]  It's cool.
[35:04.360 --> 35:05.060]  Why?
[35:05.720 --> 35:10.860]  Because when you go to court, and you've got a DUI lawyer, and the lawyer says, hey, he was on medication.
[35:11.100 --> 35:14.260]  Here's his prescription from the tame doctor I have that backdated a prescription.
[35:14.560 --> 35:14.900]  Okay?
[35:15.440 --> 35:19.140]  You can't do that if he asked you, are you on medication, and you said, no, I'm not.
[35:20.200 --> 35:20.580]  Okay?
[35:20.760 --> 35:25.180]  He's ruling out, literally, things you can do in court up front.
[35:26.220 --> 35:27.640]  So if he goes, are you on medication?
[35:28.120 --> 35:29.360]  I'm high on life, sir.
[35:30.760 --> 35:31.460]  That's a joke.
[35:32.560 --> 35:33.480]  But are you nervous?
[35:33.480 --> 35:34.400]  Yeah, I'm nervous.
[35:34.620 --> 35:35.480]  This is really scary.
[35:35.680 --> 35:36.760]  You've got a gun, man.
[35:36.920 --> 35:37.860]  And like, a baton.
[35:38.080 --> 35:39.700]  And I don't know where you want to put the baton.
[35:40.760 --> 35:42.080]  And you look like that kind of...
[35:42.080 --> 35:43.280]  You probably don't want to say that to him.
[35:44.680 --> 35:46.460]  So, I mean, yes, I'm nervous.
[35:46.600 --> 35:47.360]  Yes, I'm a little scared.
[35:47.480 --> 35:48.480]  Yes, it's a little weird for me.
[35:48.560 --> 35:49.780]  Can we talk about this?
[35:49.900 --> 35:50.060]  You know?
[35:50.280 --> 35:50.960]  Give me a minute.
[35:51.120 --> 35:51.540]  Can you...
[35:52.260 --> 35:53.180]  I'm hard of hearing.
[35:53.180 --> 35:55.520]  Can you repeat the questions until I can track them?
[35:55.560 --> 35:57.020]  Because I'm drunk off my ass.
[35:57.180 --> 35:58.280]  Probably don't say the last part.
[35:59.160 --> 36:00.560]  Again, don't admit guilt, okay?
[36:00.740 --> 36:01.580]  Fifth Amendment, please.
[36:01.800 --> 36:02.060]  Seriously.
[36:02.060 --> 36:02.720]  All right.
[36:02.900 --> 36:05.120]  So, challenge questions.
[36:05.360 --> 36:06.380]  Do you have eye problems?
[36:09.380 --> 36:10.360]  Are you on medication?
[36:12.200 --> 36:13.680]  Oh, I got a cold.
[36:14.200 --> 36:14.740]  You know?
[36:14.920 --> 36:15.420]  I mean, I don't know.
[36:15.700 --> 36:16.560]  Be honest.
[36:16.740 --> 36:19.220]  If you have a cold and you're on cold meds, tell him.
[36:19.520 --> 36:20.820]  It's a legitimate thing.
[36:21.440 --> 36:24.240]  If he goes, dude, you're not fit to drive.
[36:24.980 --> 36:28.980]  I didn't realize, officer, this cold medication is something I haven't tried before.
[36:29.100 --> 36:29.720]  I'm a little woozy.
[36:30.100 --> 36:32.580]  Would you mind if I called a friend to come get me?
[36:34.320 --> 36:34.760]  Cool.
[36:35.420 --> 36:41.340]  We're doing a lot better now than you had 15 G&Ts at Alex's room party last night.
[36:42.040 --> 36:43.780]  You're probably effed up.
[36:44.840 --> 36:45.040]  Okay.
[36:45.360 --> 36:47.880]  So, again, don't try to beat it.
[36:48.020 --> 36:52.400]  But if you can get home safely without getting a ticket or going to jail, it's always a nice win.
[36:54.260 --> 36:54.780]  All right.
[36:54.940 --> 36:55.640]  Three test battery.
[36:55.900 --> 36:57.100]  These are the three big tests, right?
[36:57.420 --> 37:00.400]  These have been proven and tested in court a billion times.
[37:01.120 --> 37:03.240]  You've got the HGN, the Watt, and the Ohls.
[37:03.340 --> 37:03.600]  What the?
[37:03.980 --> 37:04.380]  Okay.
[37:04.980 --> 37:06.880]  That's the horizontal gaze nystagmus.
[37:07.080 --> 37:08.280]  That's the finger in front of the eyes.
[37:08.400 --> 37:08.980]  Follow my finger.
[37:09.220 --> 37:10.300]  The walk and turn.
[37:10.520 --> 37:11.680]  And the one-legged stance.
[37:12.140 --> 37:12.340]  Okay?
[37:13.660 --> 37:14.060]  So...
[37:14.060 --> 37:14.980]  One-legged stance.
[37:15.140 --> 37:15.300]  Sorry.
[37:15.380 --> 37:15.800]  I apologize.
[37:16.160 --> 37:17.240]  So, what are they for?
[37:17.740 --> 37:20.580]  The horizontal gaze nystagmus is a physiological test.
[37:20.660 --> 37:21.460]  We'll get into that in a second.
[37:21.460 --> 37:22.680]  But the walk and turn.
[37:22.860 --> 37:25.260]  This is the one where they go, hey, I want you to stand up.
[37:25.640 --> 37:28.080]  Do not move until I give you all your instructions.
[37:29.160 --> 37:29.560]  Okay.
[37:31.060 --> 37:31.960]  What do you want me to do?
[37:32.420 --> 37:37.540]  I want you to walk forward putting one foot right in front of the other for ten paces.
[37:37.740 --> 37:39.560]  While reciting the Fibonacci sequence.
[37:42.380 --> 37:44.600]  That would be a cool geek drunk test.
[37:45.780 --> 37:47.540]  How many people here could pass that drunk?
[37:49.140 --> 37:49.540]  Okay.
[37:49.760 --> 37:50.460]  Minor story.
[37:50.460 --> 37:53.880]  There's actually a guy who wears Hawaiian shirts and is famous in lock picking.
[37:54.240 --> 37:58.800]  Who was given enough alcohol to kill a small rhino.
[37:59.760 --> 38:04.340]  And he passed all the tests except the horizontal gaze nystagmus test.
[38:04.880 --> 38:08.380]  Like, they brought him to a police barracks.
[38:09.460 --> 38:11.700]  They fed him good scotch.
[38:11.800 --> 38:12.760]  Because that's what he requested.
[38:13.580 --> 38:15.960]  And he's sitting there and they're like, all right, breathe.
[38:17.260 --> 38:17.700]  .08.
[38:17.960 --> 38:18.800]  All right, walk and turn.
[38:19.120 --> 38:19.700]  No problem.
[38:19.820 --> 38:20.460]  Recite the alphabet.
[38:20.620 --> 38:21.000]  Backwards.
[38:21.200 --> 38:22.300]  In Klingon.
[38:22.420 --> 38:22.920]  No problem.
[38:23.400 --> 38:23.720]  You know?
[38:23.900 --> 38:24.420]  Do this.
[38:24.500 --> 38:24.780]  Do that.
[38:24.860 --> 38:25.360]  No problem.
[38:25.700 --> 38:26.820]  Horizontal gaze nystagmus.
[38:26.820 --> 38:28.180]  The only physiological test.
[38:28.380 --> 38:29.240]  That's what got him.
[38:29.580 --> 38:30.140]  Kind of cool.
[38:30.600 --> 38:30.660]  Okay.
[38:30.780 --> 38:31.740]  So, the two tests.
[38:31.840 --> 38:35.580]  The one-legged stance and the walk and turn are just attention tests.
[38:35.580 --> 38:36.620]  Can you track?
[38:37.020 --> 38:38.380]  Can you follow instructions?
[38:38.620 --> 38:40.540]  Can you do the right things at the right time?
[38:40.620 --> 38:41.240]  Can you focus?
[38:41.700 --> 38:41.800]  Okay?
[38:42.040 --> 38:42.340]  Make sense?
[38:43.020 --> 38:44.400]  The horizontal gaze nystagmus.
[38:45.260 --> 38:47.260]  I'm gonna hold my finger 12 inches in front of your eyes.
[38:47.380 --> 38:48.940]  Follow my finger with your eyes.
[38:49.220 --> 38:51.020]  He's gonna go slowly this way.
[38:51.420 --> 38:52.560]  He just wants to get you accustomed.
[38:52.740 --> 38:53.820]  I mean, this is not to screw you up.
[38:54.100 --> 38:56.260]  And then he's gonna go to your limits of your peripheral vision.
[38:56.360 --> 38:58.680]  He's gonna know that because he's gonna go a little too far and you're gonna be like, Ugh.
[38:59.140 --> 38:59.380]  Okay.
[38:59.740 --> 39:00.700]  Then he's gonna, okay, hang on.
[39:01.080 --> 39:02.900]  He's gonna go back to the limits of your peripheral vision.
[39:02.900 --> 39:03.800]  He's going to hold it there.
[39:05.020 --> 39:11.260]  And after about 15 seconds, your eyes are just going to start quivering because when you're drunk, your muscles are not right.
[39:11.540 --> 39:11.900]  Seriously.
[39:12.080 --> 39:12.840]  We all know this, right?
[39:13.140 --> 39:19.040]  They start quivering at the edges when they're under strain because at the edges of your peripheral vision, they're cranked all the way over, right?
[39:19.540 --> 39:19.840]  Okay?
[39:20.600 --> 39:23.520]  And if they quiver, that's a hit.
[39:24.560 --> 39:25.420]  Additive evidence.
[39:25.620 --> 39:26.320]  Have a nice day.
[39:26.640 --> 39:28.480]  That's a conclusive hit, by the way.
[39:28.660 --> 39:29.040]  Okay?
[39:29.280 --> 39:32.600]  At that point, the pile of evidence, you were swerving.
[39:32.900 --> 39:35.220]  You sound drunk.
[39:35.300 --> 39:36.200]  You're slurring your speech.
[39:36.720 --> 39:38.700]  You reek of vodka.
[39:39.160 --> 39:40.380]  Gin doesn't smell.
[39:40.920 --> 39:42.140]  You reek of vodka.
[39:43.000 --> 39:46.480]  You cannot perform a horizontal gaze nystagmus test correctly.
[39:48.200 --> 39:54.280]  And when I had you do the walk and turn, reciting the alphabet backwards in Klingon, you didn't know the Aleph character.
[39:55.410 --> 40:01.800]  So now we've established probable cause that the law enforcement officer can now arrest you.
[40:03.340 --> 40:03.720]  Okay.
[40:04.000 --> 40:05.100]  So these tests are pretty straightforward.
[40:05.320 --> 40:06.100]  I explained the walk and turn.
[40:06.240 --> 40:07.600]  I explained the horizontal gaze nystagmus.
[40:07.760 --> 40:09.380]  The one-legged stance is really tough.
[40:09.540 --> 40:09.660]  Watch.
[40:09.780 --> 40:10.420]  I'm going to do it right now.
[40:12.320 --> 40:12.900]  That's it!
[40:14.460 --> 40:17.480]  If you didn't catch that, we'll do the extreme version.
[40:18.680 --> 40:19.780]  Stand on one friggin' leg.
[40:20.480 --> 40:21.020]  That's it!
[40:21.500 --> 40:23.060]  But while reciting the alphabet.
[40:23.340 --> 40:25.200]  While counting by sixteens.
[40:25.420 --> 40:26.500]  While doing these things.
[40:26.660 --> 40:27.880]  Again, can you multitask?
[40:27.980 --> 40:28.360]  Can you track?
[40:28.480 --> 40:28.880]  Can you focus?
[40:29.140 --> 40:30.820]  I know I'm harping on this, but it's the biggest thing.
[40:32.860 --> 40:33.220]  Okay.
[40:33.680 --> 40:35.020]  So we've got a three-test battery.
[40:35.340 --> 40:36.220]  Do all these things.
[40:37.160 --> 40:39.320]  Don't start to perform the test until I tell you to do so.
[40:39.600 --> 40:40.700]  Here's... I'm going to do a test.
[40:40.980 --> 40:41.180]  Watch.
[40:41.260 --> 40:42.120]  This is how drunk does it.
[40:42.120 --> 40:42.960]  All right, sir.
[40:43.140 --> 40:46.360]  Please don't perform any of this until I finish instructing you on how to do this, all right?
[40:47.800 --> 40:48.200]  Okay.
[40:48.200 --> 40:53.180]  I'm going to want you to stand on one leg and then recite the alphabet at...
[40:54.100 --> 40:56.060]  A, B, C, D...
[40:56.060 --> 40:58.800]  Sir, please stop until I finish instructing you.
[40:59.980 --> 41:00.380]  Oh.
[41:01.020 --> 41:01.420]  Okay.
[41:01.980 --> 41:03.660]  I didn't say Simon Says.
[41:06.400 --> 41:06.760]  Bastard.
[41:06.760 --> 41:08.480]  Had my training officer do that to me.
[41:09.140 --> 41:10.780]  We did Simon Says for three hours.
[41:10.900 --> 41:12.000]  You learned to hate that bastard, Simon.
[41:12.880 --> 41:13.180]  All right.
[41:14.740 --> 41:17.740]  So the horizontal gaze, the stagmus, involuntary jerking of the eyes.
[41:17.860 --> 41:18.420]  We talked about that.
[41:18.540 --> 41:19.120]  The eye tremors.
[41:19.660 --> 41:22.380]  Look, there actually are medical conditions that will cause this.
[41:22.440 --> 41:24.600]  So if you have one, tell the officer.
[41:24.780 --> 41:26.560]  Because they will jail you if you don't tell them.
[41:27.100 --> 41:27.660]  All right?
[41:27.860 --> 41:29.340]  I'm not going to list the medical conditions.
[41:29.340 --> 41:30.120]  You really don't want them.
[41:30.120 --> 41:31.280]  They normally make you go blind.
[41:31.820 --> 41:32.020]  Okay?
[41:32.420 --> 41:33.240]  So don't... Oh, man.
[41:33.440 --> 41:38.200]  I'll get like something with glaucoma or something and that'll give me nystagmus and I can drink and drive whenever.
[41:39.180 --> 41:39.980]  You'll be blind.
[41:40.080 --> 41:41.100]  You won't be driving much, motherf*cker.
[41:41.420 --> 41:41.820]  Okay?
[41:42.020 --> 41:42.860]  So don't do it.
[41:46.870 --> 41:47.370]  All right.
[41:47.430 --> 41:48.510]  The preliminary breath test.
[41:48.730 --> 41:49.010]  Hang on.
[41:49.130 --> 41:49.750]  How am I doing on time?
[41:51.750 --> 41:52.690]  Oh, shit.
[41:53.370 --> 41:54.050]  Not good.
[41:54.610 --> 41:55.590]  The preliminary breath test.
[41:55.730 --> 41:56.130]  On sight.
[41:56.130 --> 41:57.590]  I've got probable cause, right?
[41:57.790 --> 41:59.730]  I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test on sight.
[42:00.110 --> 42:01.450]  How does the breathalyzer test work?
[42:01.530 --> 42:02.410]  This is the technical stuff.
[42:02.530 --> 42:03.030]  All right.
[42:03.210 --> 42:04.610]  It's not admissible in most states.
[42:04.850 --> 42:06.810]  Actually, I think almost all of them, to be honest with you.
[42:07.270 --> 42:11.290]  And the reason being, and I'll explain that in the technical bit, is because it's not precise.
[42:11.710 --> 42:15.670]  This is a piece of evidence, yes, but it's just really to cover the officer's ass.
[42:15.830 --> 42:16.130]  Okay?
[42:16.130 --> 42:17.490]  It's to get probable cause for arrest.
[42:17.570 --> 42:20.290]  It is not admissible and court to get the conviction.
[42:20.590 --> 42:20.890]  Right.
[42:21.010 --> 42:23.550]  This covers the officer's ass and they go, why the hell did you bring him in?
[42:24.010 --> 42:25.730]  Dude, did you see what he blew on the breathalyzer?
[42:25.730 --> 42:31.970]  Yes, but it was 150% humidity and it was, you know, 112 degrees out and it sucks.
[42:32.390 --> 42:32.990]  Okay, why?
[42:33.130 --> 42:34.030]  What does that matter?
[42:34.650 --> 42:35.170]  Because...
[42:35.170 --> 42:35.970]  I think it's the next slide.
[42:38.570 --> 42:39.530]  Oh, dear God.
[42:39.650 --> 42:39.990]  We get...
[42:39.990 --> 42:40.190]  Okay.
[42:40.650 --> 42:41.870]  Do the urban legends now.
[42:42.250 --> 42:43.330]  Bad slide, but okay.
[42:44.050 --> 42:45.550]  Don't put a penny under your tongue.
[42:45.830 --> 42:48.970]  Don't swab alcohol into your mouth just before the breathalyzer.
[42:50.170 --> 42:51.970]  Don't, like, stick Q-tips up your nose.
[42:52.130 --> 42:53.170]  I swear to God, I've heard it.
[42:53.790 --> 43:04.810]  If you have to watch an episode of MythBusters, not that it's a bad thing, they're awesomely dudes, but watch the one where they test out the DUI test because Adam Savage is so freaking funny when drunk, it's hilarious.
[43:06.090 --> 43:09.370]  He's handed, like, you know, 15 beers later and they're like, put a penny under your tongue.
[43:09.490 --> 43:10.450]  He's like, give me more.
[43:10.750 --> 43:12.590]  They stick a roll of pennies under his tongue.
[43:12.690 --> 43:13.430]  He's like...
[43:17.570 --> 43:20.010]  And he blows really freaking drunk.
[43:20.410 --> 43:21.830]  And I think he almost swallowed a penny.
[43:21.950 --> 43:23.490]  They're, like, pounding him on the back, you know?
[43:23.950 --> 43:24.270]  Don't...
[43:24.270 --> 43:25.550]  I swallowed a penny!
[43:25.790 --> 43:27.070]  Am I gonna crap cop her?
[43:28.650 --> 43:31.310]  So anyway, don't belch into the breathalyzer.
[43:31.450 --> 43:32.290]  Don't use mints.
[43:32.390 --> 43:33.090]  Mints are fun.
[43:33.190 --> 43:34.470]  We all like mints, but don't do it.
[43:34.670 --> 43:38.770]  Look, if you get to the point where they're at the station using the Intoxilyzer...
[43:39.130 --> 43:44.130]  When I was a cop, we had the breathalyzer, which was the on-site, and the Intoxilyzer, which is the calibrated one at the jail.
[43:44.270 --> 43:44.850]  We had it there.
[43:45.230 --> 43:47.410]  Some places will have it different places, but at the main station.
[43:47.710 --> 43:50.610]  The Intoxilyzer, you cannot frick with that thing.
[43:50.790 --> 43:53.150]  I mean, there are ways, but it's kind of abnormal to do that.
[43:54.070 --> 43:56.250]  Ice actually kind of works, and I'll explain why in a second.
[43:56.330 --> 43:57.510]  It's because it cools the air down.
[43:57.990 --> 44:00.770]  But, like, I'm about to take an Intoxilyzer test.
[44:00.870 --> 44:02.490]  Mind if I stuff my mouth full of ice first?
[44:03.230 --> 44:04.930]  Why, sure, sir, here you go.
[44:05.250 --> 44:06.230]  They won't let you drink.
[44:06.330 --> 44:06.930]  They won't let you eat.
[44:07.030 --> 44:07.630]  They won't let you piss.
[44:07.710 --> 44:08.330]  They won't let you crap.
[44:08.610 --> 44:10.150]  You're going to take the Intoxilyzer test.
[44:10.150 --> 44:12.410]  And by the way, you're taking it now, bitch.
[44:12.890 --> 44:13.170]  Okay?
[44:14.630 --> 44:16.410]  So, let's get to the technical part.
[44:17.950 --> 44:19.330]  Where is the technical part?
[44:20.470 --> 44:20.950]  All right.
[44:21.430 --> 44:22.750]  Look, I'm going to let you read this.
[44:24.110 --> 44:27.670]  I'm not going to tell you to do any of these things, because they're not going to work.
[44:28.970 --> 44:29.330]  Seriously.
[44:29.990 --> 44:32.450]  If you say, I'm nervous, it's probably true.
[44:32.570 --> 44:33.470]  It's okay to say that.
[44:33.650 --> 44:34.610]  I'm nervous, officer.
[44:34.710 --> 44:35.550]  Please go slow with me.
[44:35.670 --> 44:36.190]  Okay, that's fine.
[44:36.490 --> 44:37.350]  I have a cold.
[44:37.350 --> 44:38.070]  I'm on cold medicine.
[44:38.270 --> 44:39.070]  If it's true, that's fine.
[44:39.070 --> 44:40.450]  If it's not true, trust me.
[44:40.810 --> 44:42.910]  He's going to go, Dude, you smell of vodka.
[44:43.070 --> 44:44.210]  I don't care if you have cold medicine as well.
[44:44.270 --> 44:46.130]  If you've been robo-tripping, you're going to jail still.
[44:47.330 --> 44:47.690]  Okay?
[44:49.190 --> 44:50.170]  I have ADD.
[44:51.330 --> 44:52.110]  I'm not asking.
[44:54.290 --> 44:56.110]  I'm guessing a few of you have ADD.
[44:56.230 --> 44:56.690]  I know...
[44:56.690 --> 44:57.130]  Squirrel!
[44:57.270 --> 44:57.450]  Okay.
[44:59.570 --> 45:00.430]  I have ADD.
[45:00.510 --> 45:02.230]  Can you please repeat yourself, officer?
[45:02.230 --> 45:03.250]  I'm a little nervous.
[45:03.590 --> 45:04.450]  I have a cold.
[45:04.610 --> 45:05.830]  I'm a little woozy on cough medicine.
[45:06.250 --> 45:08.970]  You know, these are things that are going to inject some doubt into the process.
[45:09.390 --> 45:11.570]  Don't use them unless they're true or unless you can pull...
[45:11.570 --> 45:12.010]  Never mind.
[45:12.910 --> 45:13.190]  Um...
[45:13.190 --> 45:14.170]  Don't use them unless they're true.
[45:14.530 --> 45:17.210]  Again, I don't want you on the road if you're drunk and driving because you will hit me.
[45:17.350 --> 45:18.570]  You'll hit somebody I care about.
[45:18.750 --> 45:20.430]  You'll hit somebody that I hate and want to hurt myself.
[45:21.050 --> 45:22.030]  You know, I don't want you to do it.
[45:22.070 --> 45:22.610]  I don't want to do it.
[45:24.290 --> 45:26.070]  So, don't get drunk and drive, please.
[45:26.750 --> 45:26.850]  Alright.
[45:27.810 --> 45:31.990]  Admitting to a lesser immediate offense, if the cop's in a hurry and you go, I wasn't wearing my seatbelt.
[45:32.050 --> 45:32.430]  I'm sorry.
[45:32.430 --> 45:33.990]  I was reaching for my cell phone on the ground.
[45:34.090 --> 45:35.330]  And he goes, works for me.
[45:35.530 --> 45:36.210]  Here you go.
[45:36.990 --> 45:37.390]  Yes!
[45:37.790 --> 45:39.750]  It's known as a plea bargain on site.
[45:42.410 --> 45:43.530]  We like these.
[45:44.150 --> 45:44.550]  Look.
[45:44.770 --> 45:45.070]  Okay.
[45:45.610 --> 45:49.030]  If a cop writes a ticket that he has to go to court for, it sucks.
[45:50.350 --> 45:51.810]  Because, normally it's on their day off.
[45:51.810 --> 45:54.370]  They get paid 25 or 50 bucks, depending on the state, to go to court.
[45:54.730 --> 46:04.690]  So, on your day off, I want you to show up at court in a uniform that's hot as hell, wearing a gun, and you're getting paid 50 bucks for that day to go sit in court and answer questions from an idiot lawyer.
[46:06.830 --> 46:08.070]  Who wants to do that?
[46:09.930 --> 46:10.450]  Oh, hey!
[46:10.510 --> 46:10.850]  How you doing?
[46:13.910 --> 46:18.750]  So, if they can give you something they don't have to court for, and you're like, I'm just going to pay this, sometimes life is good.
[46:18.930 --> 46:19.410]  You never know.
[46:19.410 --> 46:20.430]  But anyway.
[46:23.350 --> 46:24.370]  We're going to skip this.
[46:24.730 --> 46:26.270]  The test is only part of the test.
[46:26.830 --> 46:27.510]  Here we go.
[46:27.630 --> 46:27.750]  Okay.
[46:28.310 --> 46:28.870]  Do you see that?
[46:29.370 --> 46:30.550]  That's an Arduino breathalyzer.
[46:31.770 --> 46:32.430]  No joke.
[46:32.530 --> 46:33.090]  They're not hard.
[46:33.450 --> 46:34.770]  What does a breathalyzer do?
[46:35.110 --> 46:36.230]  It takes your breath.
[46:36.410 --> 46:38.190]  It pushes it across two contacts.
[46:38.790 --> 46:42.170]  The more conductive your breath is, the more alcohol there is in your breath.
[46:42.350 --> 46:43.110]  It's that simple.
[46:43.410 --> 46:43.850]  Seriously.
[46:44.390 --> 46:45.790]  So what's going to affect that?
[46:46.250 --> 46:46.690]  Temperature?
[46:47.090 --> 46:47.530]  Humidity.
[46:47.870 --> 46:48.130]  Why?
[46:48.470 --> 46:52.110]  Well, if it's humid, it's going to dilute the alcohol in your breath.
[46:52.290 --> 46:54.350]  It's going to change the conductivity of the contacts.
[46:54.370 --> 46:56.050]  They're going to be coated with water if it's humid enough.
[46:56.290 --> 46:56.670]  Okay?
[46:57.030 --> 47:00.810]  If it's cold, the alcohol won't vaporize correctly.
[47:00.930 --> 47:01.110]  Okay?
[47:01.210 --> 47:06.530]  Because the breathalyzer and the better models, it actually heats up your breath to vaporize the alcohol more effectively.
[47:06.530 --> 47:08.990]  So it gets a truer reading of the amount of alcohol in your breath.
[47:09.790 --> 47:11.050]  So think of it like a lie detector.
[47:11.210 --> 47:16.610]  If anybody's ever had to take a lie detector, and they put the, the, the, the, the, every, friggin' everything on you.
[47:16.950 --> 47:19.150]  One of the things they're reading is the galvanic skin response.
[47:19.430 --> 47:21.110]  They're reading how conductive your skin is.
[47:21.250 --> 47:22.530]  When you lie, you sweat a little.
[47:22.850 --> 47:23.070]  Okay?
[47:23.110 --> 47:23.670]  Just a little bit.
[47:23.870 --> 47:26.210]  You know, not like I'm sweating now into these freakin' lights.
[47:26.510 --> 47:27.310]  But a little bit.
[47:27.850 --> 47:30.730]  And when you're drunk, there's more alcohol in your breath.
[47:31.190 --> 47:34.930]  And it makes the, and when it vaporizes, it creates more conductive cloud of air.
[47:34.930 --> 47:38.150]  The more electricity that gets across, gee, the more drunk you are.
[47:38.370 --> 47:40.530]  And it's calibrated against a reference sample.
[47:41.170 --> 47:42.630]  The Intoxilyzer is, not the breathalyzer.
[47:42.690 --> 47:44.330]  Remember, on site, in the station, right?
[47:45.690 --> 47:46.410]  It's calibrated.
[47:46.550 --> 47:50.410]  And if it's calibrated correctly, it's a humidity controlled, temperature controlled environment.
[47:50.410 --> 47:54.930]  And they don't let you have a glass full of ice cold coke before you get on, get up there to blow in it.
[47:55.630 --> 47:58.090]  They've got a really conclusive test right there.
[47:58.270 --> 47:59.550]  That's conclusive, by the way.
[47:59.690 --> 48:01.730]  Remember we said the breathalyzer on site, no good.
[48:03.010 --> 48:03.950]  Intoxilyzer, real good.
[48:03.950 --> 48:05.090]  Admissible in court, right?
[48:05.510 --> 48:05.730]  Yep.
[48:07.110 --> 48:07.330]  Okay.
[48:07.550 --> 48:09.350]  So, can you make one of these?
[48:09.530 --> 48:09.910]  Yes.
[48:10.170 --> 48:10.990]  Do I suggest you do?
[48:11.170 --> 48:12.010]  Yeah, it's kind of cool.
[48:12.790 --> 48:14.370]  It's really a great sensing platform.
[48:14.570 --> 48:20.130]  If you can sense how much alcohol, how much conductivity across a couple of sensors and do an Arduino, it's a great Arduino project.
[48:20.310 --> 48:20.710]  Have fun.
[48:20.990 --> 48:21.930]  A buddy of mine built one.
[48:22.330 --> 48:23.050]  Smart guy.
[48:23.410 --> 48:24.190]  Knows his crap.
[48:24.350 --> 48:24.890]  He built one.
[48:25.150 --> 48:25.730]  That's it.
[48:25.730 --> 48:27.590]  And it works.
[48:27.810 --> 48:30.070]  And his wife used it on once or twice, I think.
[48:30.470 --> 48:30.970]  But anyway.
[48:33.270 --> 48:33.710]  Okay.
[48:34.350 --> 48:35.050]  This is yours.
[48:35.350 --> 48:35.390]  Oh.
[48:36.490 --> 48:37.230]  It's not in yellow.
[48:37.470 --> 48:37.670]  Yay!
[48:38.790 --> 48:39.870]  Because I wrote the slide.
[48:41.490 --> 48:42.930]  There's one interesting wrinkle.
[48:43.070 --> 48:44.510]  I'm going to talk about the Intoxilyzer.
[48:44.510 --> 48:54.150]  This is either the instation calibrated actual evidential value breath test by which you can get convicted.
[48:54.370 --> 48:54.890]  We've made...
[48:55.250 --> 49:05.790]  Officers decided I have sufficient probable cause after the SFST or the roadside breath test or just, by my impression, you're hammered.
[49:06.170 --> 49:06.750]  Come on down.
[49:08.310 --> 49:11.870]  They will now test you with a calibrated, more expensive machine.
[49:13.290 --> 49:17.050]  This is a sensor with some circuitry.
[49:17.350 --> 49:20.390]  And as we all know, circuitry has software.
[49:21.610 --> 49:22.630]  And the...
[49:22.630 --> 49:30.870]  Most of the state's laws use the NHTSA, National Highway Transportation Safety...
[49:31.750 --> 49:32.090]  Something...
[49:32.430 --> 49:32.590]  Administration.
[49:32.930 --> 49:33.370]  Administration.
[49:33.970 --> 49:34.130]  Administration.
[49:34.610 --> 49:35.830]  I know I should remember that.
[49:36.050 --> 49:41.990]  They promulgate a list that says, these are the approved models, makes and models of the...
[49:43.210 --> 49:47.430]  Evidentially very valuable boxes that you can do these tests.
[49:47.770 --> 49:52.250]  The problem is, is that when you actually pull the Bolton, it just has make and model.
[49:52.630 --> 49:57.290]  There's an additional variable, which is, what version of the firmware is it?
[49:58.250 --> 50:02.510]  And as we all know, they modify the firmware, too, for whatever reason.
[50:03.610 --> 50:11.630]  A few smart DUI lawyers looked at that and said, well, wait a minute, could the different software version mean that there's a difference in accuracy?
[50:11.950 --> 50:14.190]  Why did you change the software manufacturer?
[50:14.930 --> 50:26.050]  And a couple of cases of these became kind of like little fights between the prosecutors who were trying to promulgate, who was trying to use this evidence, the defense counsel was trying to kill it, and the manufacturer.
[50:26.050 --> 50:34.470]  Because the defense counsel goes and says, I don't think that the Intoxilyzer you used is actually certified.
[50:36.070 --> 50:37.010]  Defense counsel...
[50:37.010 --> 50:38.950]  I mean, the prosecutor's like, well, yeah, it's make and model.
[50:39.050 --> 50:39.410]  I'm like, yeah.
[50:39.590 --> 50:40.730]  But it changed.
[50:41.570 --> 50:43.890]  NHTSA, which software version did you use?
[50:44.130 --> 50:45.710]  We don't have those records.
[50:46.710 --> 50:52.110]  Manufacturer, which software version was on the box that you gave to the NHTSA for testing?
[50:52.110 --> 50:54.970]  And they say, we didn't send any.
[50:55.330 --> 50:57.030]  NHTSA bought them off the market.
[50:57.470 --> 51:04.050]  So is it possible that the machine used is not the machine that's accurate?
[51:04.850 --> 51:05.270]  Hmm.
[51:05.570 --> 51:08.290]  Can't answer that because we don't know what version of the software.
[51:08.550 --> 51:15.310]  So there are a couple of cases where defense counsel decided we are going to pursue this really, really hard.
[51:15.410 --> 51:17.650]  We are going to demand the source code.
[51:19.510 --> 51:22.650]  And the manufacturer's like, why do we have to show the source code?
[51:22.770 --> 51:24.730]  Like, that's our proprietary magical stuff.
[51:24.770 --> 51:26.510]  Because it's really hard to write the software.
[51:26.790 --> 51:27.890]  And we don't want...
[51:27.890 --> 51:30.310]  What we're afraid of is we're afraid that it goes to our competitors.
[51:31.570 --> 51:33.510]  And they'll figure out the magic juju.
[51:35.490 --> 51:39.250]  So they were like, no, we don't have to give you.
[51:39.330 --> 51:40.950]  We don't have to give you this evidence.
[51:40.950 --> 51:48.270]  And some courts, some state supreme courts have said, well, really, you have to show...
[51:48.270 --> 51:50.650]  You can't just demand the source code just because.
[51:50.910 --> 51:58.410]  You have to show that there is some other outside evidence that the box is inaccurate enough that you would have a false positive.
[51:58.790 --> 52:02.970]  There are other states that have just said, sure, you know, defense counsel...
[52:02.970 --> 52:06.250]  Defense can get whatever reasonable discovery they're supposed to get.
[52:06.250 --> 52:08.930]  And the earth is shaking underneath my feet.
[52:11.770 --> 52:12.330]  So...
[52:12.330 --> 52:13.910]  It's kind of split.
[52:14.110 --> 52:14.990]  I've noticed this, though.
[52:15.110 --> 52:19.510]  The way the law is practiced is one attorney will actually...
[52:19.910 --> 52:29.490]  Well, actually, a client will fund a high-end attorney who is willing to go and have someone do a forensic code review of one of these boxes for a bajillion dollars.
[52:30.870 --> 52:33.210]  And, hey, yeah, I got this guy off.
[52:33.210 --> 52:37.090]  It was a, you know, $110,000 DUI case for someone rather wealthy.
[52:38.290 --> 52:40.570]  But then every...
[52:40.570 --> 52:47.690]  I'll take any lawsuit for 99.95, Earl Schaub Esquire will say, well, wait a minute.
[52:47.690 --> 52:50.030]  I don't actually have to do a code review.
[52:50.050 --> 52:52.250]  I just have to file a motion to demand it.
[52:52.650 --> 52:56.010]  And the prosecutor is going to say, this is a lot of freaking work.
[52:57.070 --> 52:59.330]  Is there something we can do about this?
[52:59.330 --> 53:02.010]  And all of a sudden, usually you can't plea these cases.
[53:02.270 --> 53:07.270]  In the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, there are very few diversion paths out of a DUI.
[53:07.410 --> 53:11.670]  It's like, they're like, usually for most practitioners of this, you're banging these cases out.
[53:12.070 --> 53:14.710]  I had a friend of mine, a public defender, who drove a Porsche.
[53:14.970 --> 53:17.730]  And it's like, how do you get to drive a Porsche as a public defender?
[53:17.770 --> 53:19.790]  He's like, oh, I'm allowed to practice on this side.
[53:19.910 --> 53:20.590]  It's part of my contract.
[53:20.590 --> 53:24.890]  And she would do DUI defenses at 1,500 bucks a pop.
[53:25.030 --> 53:27.650]  And she would do 15 to 20 a week.
[53:27.890 --> 53:28.430]  Jeez.
[53:29.270 --> 53:30.430]  And they're just the same.
[53:30.570 --> 53:31.350]  It was boilerplate.
[53:31.510 --> 53:32.310]  It was the same, like...
[53:32.310 --> 53:36.490]  Because most DUI defense are different than regular criminal defense.
[53:36.770 --> 53:43.570]  Most criminal defendants are multiple offenders, poor, experienced criminal defense.
[53:46.930 --> 53:47.510]  Thank you.
[53:49.390 --> 53:54.830]  Most DUI offenders, when they get arrested, are, this is the first time I've ever seen a jail.
[53:55.370 --> 53:56.250]  I'm scared.
[53:56.570 --> 53:58.130]  I need to lawyer up.
[53:58.490 --> 54:02.510]  I need to spend a lot of money on a lawyer, because I'm really afraid of what's going to happen.
[54:02.730 --> 54:03.730]  And we will...
[54:03.730 --> 54:16.230]  Or not I, but people who practice in this field will often do a little bit of FUD and go, well, if your freedom's important to you, maybe you should pay the top buck for the best DUI attorney out there, and I happen to be that, and I take visa.
[54:18.310 --> 54:20.150]  And realize this, I mean, I get that.
[54:20.290 --> 54:23.730]  I've worked as a public defender for a little while, and I get that fear.
[54:23.850 --> 54:28.250]  And you get, like, an actual, like, white-collar person who's like, I can't imagine anything.
[54:28.610 --> 54:32.990]  You know, because they're imagining, like, you know, next episode of Oz.
[54:35.410 --> 54:38.890]  White-collar guy gets awful things happening to them.
[54:38.890 --> 54:43.630]  So you will spend this money, because it's easy, and they'll pay up front.
[54:43.850 --> 54:44.630]  So it's really good.
[54:44.770 --> 54:45.290]  It's really...
[54:45.770 --> 54:49.010]  It's a niche market if you can convince enough white-collar people to pay you.
[54:51.150 --> 54:56.830]  So fighting this, actually running these cases, you do one of these motions and fight it.
[54:56.950 --> 55:00.750]  And sometimes the prosecutors will back off, or the prosecutors will, like, oh, God, this is a lot of work.
[55:00.750 --> 55:01.390]  Maybe...
[55:01.390 --> 55:09.190]  And it also means that everyone involved in that particular stop has to show up, and it slows the officers down.
[55:09.410 --> 55:09.850]  Thank you.
[55:10.930 --> 55:11.670]  Hey, everybody.
[55:11.910 --> 55:12.270]  Thank you.
[55:17.600 --> 55:22.320]  So, Hackers for Charity donated some T-shirts for me to Chuck and patches and stuff.
[55:24.620 --> 55:30.460]  The silent auction for Hackers for Charity ends at 1.30, so if you haven't been down there to get your Kisbee, go down there and bid on it.
[55:30.460 --> 55:33.060]  It's the only Zigbee sniffer out period right now at all.
[55:33.260 --> 55:33.960]  And where is it?
[55:34.100 --> 55:37.300]  It's in the vendor area down on the mezzanine, mezzanine level.
[55:37.540 --> 55:39.380]  Go to the Hackers for Charity booth and then...