[00:51.620 --> 00:52.320]  Okay, you ready?
[00:52.660 --> 00:53.060]  Okay.
[00:53.320 --> 00:54.900]  Alright, so go off screen for a second.
[00:55.120 --> 00:55.360]  Okay.
[00:55.600 --> 00:55.760]  Okay.
[00:58.700 --> 01:00.860]  Hello, I'm Mr. H.T. Bear.
[01:01.340 --> 01:01.800]  Is it time yet?
[01:02.500 --> 01:03.260]  No, one sec.
[01:03.360 --> 01:03.540]  Okay.
[01:03.600 --> 01:04.640]  Okay, I'll be back.
[01:04.780 --> 01:05.120]  Okay, thanks.
[01:06.060 --> 01:08.340]  Um, I was told this was a hacker convention.
[01:09.180 --> 01:11.320]  Usually when I hack something, it's phlegm.
[01:12.840 --> 01:18.120]  Okay, between you and me, between you and me, on the DL, the occasional hairball.
[01:21.340 --> 01:21.820]  Shh.
[01:21.820 --> 01:22.300]  What?
[01:22.400 --> 01:22.740]  Is it time yet?
[01:23.340 --> 01:23.820]  Hey.
[01:24.740 --> 01:25.220]  Hello.
[01:25.580 --> 01:26.640]  My name is Steve.
[01:26.820 --> 01:27.360]  I'm a monkey.
[01:27.560 --> 01:28.460]  I like bananas.
[01:28.640 --> 01:29.300]  They're yum.
[01:29.720 --> 01:30.040]  Yum.
[01:30.860 --> 01:31.620]  Oh, okay.
[01:31.960 --> 01:32.640]  Just one sec.
[01:32.820 --> 01:33.080]  Okay.
[01:33.280 --> 01:33.400]  Okay.
[01:33.400 --> 01:33.640]  One sec.
[01:33.740 --> 01:34.020]  One sec.
[01:34.100 --> 01:34.280]  Okay?
[01:34.820 --> 01:35.820]  Just that way.
[01:36.100 --> 01:36.680]  For a sec.
[01:37.240 --> 01:39.140]  Just off screen for one more second.
[01:39.320 --> 01:39.500]  Okay.
[01:39.740 --> 01:39.920]  Great.
[01:40.880 --> 01:41.120]  Okay.
[01:41.120 --> 01:41.140]  Hi.
[01:41.640 --> 01:42.040]  Hero.
[01:42.300 --> 01:42.780]  Hero.
[01:43.240 --> 01:43.720]  Steve.
[01:44.160 --> 01:44.600]  Hero.
[01:44.760 --> 01:45.000]  What?
[01:45.260 --> 01:45.440]  Hi.
[01:46.160 --> 01:48.220]  It's a computer hacker convention.
[01:49.740 --> 01:50.560]  Computer hacker?
[01:50.800 --> 01:51.680]  I just met her.
[01:51.880 --> 01:52.260]  Ah!
[01:53.900 --> 01:54.560]  Excuse me.
[01:54.720 --> 01:55.100]  Excuse me.
[01:55.260 --> 01:55.660]  Pardon me.
[01:55.820 --> 01:56.540]  My ear itchy.
[01:57.760 --> 01:58.220]  Um.
[01:58.840 --> 01:59.700]  My ear itches.
[01:59.820 --> 02:00.180]  You itchy.
[02:01.340 --> 02:03.120]  Let me see if I can.
[02:03.280 --> 02:04.420]  I can't really get in there right now.
[02:04.500 --> 02:04.620]  Okay.
[02:04.620 --> 02:04.840]  It's okay.
[02:04.840 --> 02:05.080]  Okay.
[02:05.560 --> 02:05.960]  Um.
[02:06.840 --> 02:08.220]  Are there any programmers here?
[02:08.800 --> 02:09.520]  Any programmers?
[02:09.980 --> 02:10.160]  See.
[02:10.340 --> 02:10.640]  Steve.
[02:10.800 --> 02:11.040]  Steve.
[02:11.260 --> 02:11.480]  Yeah?
[02:11.580 --> 02:12.600]  See if you can see any programmers.
[02:14.440 --> 02:14.840]  No.
[02:15.420 --> 02:15.820]  Okay.
[02:15.860 --> 02:17.040]  Are there any de-programmers?
[02:17.140 --> 02:17.920]  We have a crazy neighbor.
[02:18.080 --> 02:18.880]  We need some work done.
[02:20.080 --> 02:20.740]  He's nuts.
[02:21.020 --> 02:22.120]  My ear still itches.
[02:22.400 --> 02:22.520]  Oh.
[02:22.520 --> 02:22.580]  Okay.
[02:23.400 --> 02:23.800]  Um.
[02:24.520 --> 02:25.000]  Let's see.
[02:25.060 --> 02:25.980]  What are we going to talk about today?
[02:25.980 --> 02:26.840]  The purpose of this video.
[02:27.320 --> 02:27.720]  Oh!
[02:27.860 --> 02:29.060]  The purpose of this video.
[02:29.840 --> 02:30.240]  One.
[02:30.580 --> 02:31.280]  Introduce ourselves.
[02:31.620 --> 02:32.200]  Do we introduce it?
[02:32.280 --> 02:33.140]  Everybody know who we are now?
[02:33.140 --> 02:34.180]  Steve.
[02:34.560 --> 02:34.800]  Hero.
[02:35.420 --> 02:35.680]  Okay.
[02:36.180 --> 02:36.320]  Uh.
[02:36.600 --> 02:36.960]  Number two.
[02:37.520 --> 02:40.180]  Explain who YMMV Radio is.
[02:40.640 --> 02:45.720]  YMMVradio.com It means your mileage may vary.
[02:46.200 --> 02:47.280]  That's slang.
[02:48.420 --> 02:49.520]  Did you swear?
[02:49.780 --> 02:50.080]  No.
[02:50.320 --> 02:51.200]  You know what else is slang?
[02:51.480 --> 02:51.940]  What?
[02:52.460 --> 02:52.860]  Sup.
[02:53.280 --> 02:53.860]  Sup.
[02:54.060 --> 02:54.540]  Sup.
[02:54.620 --> 02:55.380]  Sup is slang.
[02:55.840 --> 02:56.060]  Yeah.
[02:56.500 --> 02:57.180]  YMMV.
[02:57.420 --> 02:59.560]  Your mileage may vary.
[03:00.040 --> 03:02.940]  It's a weekly radio show that we're both on.
[03:03.720 --> 03:04.240]  Yeah.
[03:04.560 --> 03:04.900]  Me too.
[03:05.360 --> 03:07.400]  And it's all about saving money on things.
[03:07.840 --> 03:08.180]  Yay.
[03:08.480 --> 03:10.440]  Like, um, what do we save money on?
[03:11.000 --> 03:11.520]  Bananas.
[03:12.000 --> 03:12.520]  Brownies.
[03:12.900 --> 03:13.700]  Brownie mix.
[03:14.180 --> 03:14.920]  Computer things.
[03:15.140 --> 03:15.880]  Computer things.
[03:16.340 --> 03:16.860]  Shampoo.
[03:17.200 --> 03:17.600]  Bicycles.
[03:18.040 --> 03:19.020]  Ooh, teriyaki sauce.
[03:19.220 --> 03:19.880]  Very popular.
[03:20.180 --> 03:20.360]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[03:20.380 --> 03:20.380]  That's good.
[03:20.480 --> 03:20.800]  Shampoo.
[03:21.100 --> 03:21.880]  And soup.
[03:22.140 --> 03:23.300]  And the winter soup is big.
[03:23.400 --> 03:24.100]  The air still itches.
[03:25.380 --> 03:25.780]  Sorry.
[03:27.680 --> 03:28.080]  Um...
[03:28.080 --> 03:28.700]  Be right back.
[03:29.920 --> 03:30.460]  I'm back.
[03:30.640 --> 03:33.680]  Okay, so I'm supposed to tell you when you can listen to us?
[03:34.220 --> 03:35.840]  That lady is putting that thing there.
[03:35.960 --> 03:36.700]  It's in the way.
[03:37.320 --> 03:37.720]  Uh...
[03:37.720 --> 03:38.800]  It's in the way.
[03:38.900 --> 03:39.460]  Script girl!
[03:39.660 --> 03:40.180]  Script girl!
[03:41.660 --> 03:42.340]  Okay, sorry.
[03:42.540 --> 03:43.940]  So hard to find good help these days.
[03:44.680 --> 03:44.920]  Yeah.
[03:44.960 --> 03:45.220]  Um...
[03:45.220 --> 03:45.720]  She was free.
[03:47.140 --> 03:48.380]  See, that's another hot deal.
[03:49.100 --> 03:50.720]  That's how we save money on script girls.
[03:51.220 --> 03:51.460]  Yay!
[03:51.460 --> 03:51.980]  Tell people about that.
[03:52.480 --> 03:52.960]  Um...
[03:52.960 --> 03:54.980]  You can listen to us every week on the Internet.
[03:55.420 --> 03:57.220]  YMMVradio.com Uh...
[03:57.220 --> 03:59.080]  It's a free MP3 you can download.
[03:59.440 --> 04:01.140]  Also known as a...
[04:01.140 --> 04:01.740]  Pod...
[04:01.740 --> 04:01.960]  Podcast.
[04:03.320 --> 04:03.800]  Pod...
[04:03.800 --> 04:04.200]  Podcast?
[04:04.380 --> 04:04.720]  Podcast.
[04:05.120 --> 04:06.140]  Pod you can cast.
[04:06.280 --> 04:06.840]  It's a pod.
[04:07.020 --> 04:08.740]  And you cast it out into the ocean.
[04:09.000 --> 04:09.680]  Can I get a coo?
[04:09.980 --> 04:10.680]  Oh, that's you.
[04:10.920 --> 04:11.220]  Right.
[04:12.140 --> 04:12.620]  So...
[04:12.620 --> 04:13.000]  Uh...
[04:13.000 --> 04:15.860]  We have an audience participation segment now.
[04:16.040 --> 04:17.180]  Is everybody ready to participate?
[04:17.500 --> 04:17.820]  Yay!
[04:18.400 --> 04:18.760]  Great.
[04:19.380 --> 04:21.980]  When I say coo, you say pon.
[04:22.240 --> 04:22.500]  Got it.
[04:22.620 --> 04:25.280]  Everybody out there is going to say pon when I say coo.
[04:25.480 --> 04:25.740]  Got it.
[04:25.960 --> 04:26.320]  Okay, ready?
[04:26.540 --> 04:26.820]  Yeah.
[04:27.040 --> 04:27.700]  Let's try it out.
[04:28.520 --> 04:28.840]  Coo.
[04:29.100 --> 04:29.460]  Pon.
[04:29.920 --> 04:30.280]  Coo.
[04:30.560 --> 04:30.920]  Pon.
[04:31.140 --> 04:31.500]  Coo.
[04:31.780 --> 04:32.140]  Pon.
[04:32.320 --> 04:32.660]  Coo.
[04:32.900 --> 04:33.200]  Pon.
[04:33.320 --> 04:33.720]  Wait a second.
[04:33.940 --> 04:34.120]  Okay.
[04:34.480 --> 04:35.760]  I have very short ears.
[04:35.960 --> 04:36.120]  See?
[04:36.220 --> 04:36.860]  Look at the short ears.
[04:37.400 --> 04:38.320]  Can't hear you too good.
[04:39.480 --> 04:39.840]  Hello?
[04:40.120 --> 04:40.780]  Wake up, you people.
[04:40.860 --> 04:41.340]  Okay, one more time.
[04:41.500 --> 04:42.040]  All right, here we go.
[04:42.080 --> 04:42.200]  Ready?
[04:42.880 --> 04:43.240]  Coo.
[04:43.400 --> 04:43.740]  Pon.
[04:43.960 --> 04:44.320]  Coo.
[04:44.520 --> 04:44.880]  Pon.
[04:45.000 --> 04:45.340]  Coo.
[04:45.480 --> 04:45.820]  Pon.
[04:46.020 --> 04:46.260]  Tam.
[04:46.540 --> 04:46.880]  Pon.
[04:48.600 --> 04:49.640]  Okay, okay, okay, great.
[04:49.900 --> 04:50.140]  All right, great.
[04:50.560 --> 04:50.860]  So, um...
[04:50.860 --> 04:51.280]  He said tampon.
[04:54.020 --> 04:54.340]  Tampon?
[04:54.460 --> 04:55.260]  I just met her.
[04:56.780 --> 04:57.820]  Okay, okay, let's roll this.
[04:57.900 --> 04:58.360]  Right, okay.
[04:58.420 --> 04:58.820]  Let's wind this.
[04:58.940 --> 04:59.440]  So here he comes.
[04:59.500 --> 05:00.000]  Here he comes.
[05:00.160 --> 05:00.280]  Hey.
[05:00.960 --> 05:08.800]  We're going to bring out the producer, the host, whatever you want to call him, the guy from YMNV Radio.
[05:09.020 --> 05:09.900]  Maybe he'll etch my ear.
[05:10.180 --> 05:10.580]  Oh, great.
[05:11.340 --> 05:12.100]  Here he comes.
[05:12.840 --> 05:16.400]  Let's welcome him to the stage, Mr. Sam Hawker.
[05:16.540 --> 05:16.740]  Yay!
[05:16.840 --> 05:17.460]  YMNV Radio.
[05:17.740 --> 05:18.460]  Here he comes, everybody.
[05:18.600 --> 05:18.800]  Bye.
[05:19.020 --> 05:19.420]  Here he comes.
[05:19.760 --> 05:20.440]  We'll see you guys soon.
[05:20.640 --> 05:20.920]  Okay, bye.
[05:21.060 --> 05:21.340]  Thanks, bye.
[05:21.820 --> 05:22.320]  Look at him.
[05:22.380 --> 05:22.640]  There he is.
[05:27.280 --> 05:30.800]  I've been collecting coupons in my room late at night.
[05:32.900 --> 05:34.760]  My mother doesn't know I'm here.
[05:37.600 --> 05:40.040]  And that's how you can take down a small government.
[05:44.200 --> 05:45.260]  I'm just f*cking with you.
[05:47.700 --> 05:48.640]  Thanks for coming out.
[05:48.740 --> 05:49.360]  Really appreciate it.
[05:52.120 --> 05:53.120]  Just a show of hands.
[05:53.120 --> 05:55.580]  How many people are not from the United States?
[05:57.160 --> 05:57.800]  Oh, good.
[05:57.920 --> 05:58.760]  Not that many of you.
[05:58.860 --> 05:59.720]  We can kick you out easy.
[06:01.700 --> 06:08.100]  No, I only ask that because the kind of things I'm going to be talking about only seem to be taking place right now in the United States.
[06:08.260 --> 06:11.860]  So it's educational for those of you who are not from here to see where it's going.
[06:11.880 --> 06:16.560]  And for those of you who live here and have no f*cking clue what's going on, that's going to be real good, too.
[06:17.940 --> 06:26.320]  A couple years ago, you could get whatever you wanted at a store called Office Max for free after rebate.
[06:26.960 --> 06:33.260]  Everything in the circular would have a very inflated price and say free after a mail-in rebate.
[06:33.780 --> 06:37.500]  And this doesn't happen anymore at Office Max.
[06:37.660 --> 06:38.720]  Does anyone know why?
[06:39.800 --> 06:41.320]  They didn't go out of business.
[06:42.500 --> 06:44.260]  You used to work at Office Max?
[06:44.420 --> 06:44.540]  Really?
[06:47.100 --> 06:47.660]  No.
[06:48.040 --> 06:50.940]  They stopped doing it because of an SEC investigation.
[06:51.540 --> 06:58.540]  You see, all that money that was paid out was reported as sales, and the rebates were not reported as such.
[06:58.980 --> 07:06.780]  So everyone who was buying things free after rebate was sort of participating in a very large fraud, essentially.
[07:08.820 --> 07:10.020]  And they were caught.
[07:11.340 --> 07:20.300]  And the bullshit excuse they gave about why they discontinued their rebate program was that it was of more convenience to the consumer.
[07:20.800 --> 07:25.940]  Our number one consumer complaint is that we don't, you know, the rebates.
[07:26.120 --> 07:28.840]  And it was funny because some of them took like 15, 16 months to get.
[07:28.980 --> 07:29.980]  Nobody could figure out why.
[07:30.100 --> 07:34.140]  Well, of course, because they would have to report the rebate on the following year's taxes.
[07:34.140 --> 07:37.080]  And they, oh, we lost it, oh, you didn't fill out the form properly, etc.
[07:37.200 --> 07:38.120]  That's what it was.
[07:38.960 --> 07:41.480]  So it no longer takes place at Office Max.
[07:42.460 --> 07:45.000]  But it's taking place now at another company.
[07:46.620 --> 07:53.520]  I should say allegedly taking place at another company called CVS, which many of you have heard of.
[07:53.800 --> 07:59.300]  And many of you can't figure out why this is CVS popping up on every corner everywhere you go.
[08:00.300 --> 08:06.260]  So, CVS is a program called Extra Bucks, which I like to call Funny Money.
[08:06.840 --> 08:09.660]  That's the common slang for Extra Bucks is Funny Money.
[08:10.700 --> 08:12.380]  And it's just like it sounds.
[08:12.520 --> 08:14.620]  It's CVS made up Funny Money.
[08:15.220 --> 08:31.460]  And if you buy something for $3, say, shampoo, they will give you back $3 of Funny Money, which you can use on everything except cigarettes, gift cards, and postage stamps, because they don't make any money on those, really.
[08:34.220 --> 08:38.820]  So, let's say you were to go, say, I don't know, to Virginia.
[08:39.800 --> 08:44.700]  And you were to rent an SUV for, I don't know, say a week.
[08:45.520 --> 08:52.620]  And stop at every CVS along the way to, I don't know, let's say New York.
[08:54.420 --> 09:02.700]  And let's say you just so happen to have, I don't know, a couple thousand coupons for the shampoo that was on sale this week.
[09:04.220 --> 09:17.420]  And let's say somewhere around, I don't know, Annapolis, Maryland, your fiancé told you that if you bought one more f*cking bottle of shampoo, she was taking a goddamn train home.
[09:19.260 --> 09:24.600]  Because for each bottle you bought, CVS was paying you a dollar in funny money.
[09:25.200 --> 09:31.360]  You see, you paid $2, and you got back $3 in funny money.
[09:32.780 --> 09:36.320]  And that is a very basic coupon hack.
[09:36.680 --> 09:38.980]  A very, very primitive one.
[09:39.240 --> 09:40.940]  Because you're only making a buck.
[09:41.840 --> 09:47.060]  But let's say you spent a buck, and they gave you back $3 in funny money.
[09:47.860 --> 09:52.740]  Or let's say you spent a dollar, and you got back $10 in funny money.
[09:53.540 --> 10:05.400]  Or perhaps let's just pretend you had so much f*cking funny money that they no longer will let you split up, that you start buying air conditioners at CVS to use it all up.
[10:08.520 --> 10:14.420]  When I say my life is like the Muppet Show, I don't mean that because there's a bear and a monkey introducing me.
[10:15.500 --> 10:17.930]  I say it because it's the f*cking Muppet Show.
[10:22.100 --> 10:28.400]  You know, the other thing about the alleged road trip is we just happened to get five or six hundred bottles of Kiko Man teriyaki sauce.
[10:29.980 --> 10:31.900]  And that shit is hard to give away.
[10:34.240 --> 10:35.760]  Everyone washes their hair.
[10:38.150 --> 10:47.380]  So let me just start you off by introducing you to the basic cast of characters in the couponing world.
[10:47.520 --> 10:50.690]  Now, show of hands, who's heard of a site called Fat Wallet?
[10:51.810 --> 10:54.520]  Most of the room, slick deals, Ben's bargains.
[10:54.670 --> 10:55.680]  You don't have to keep doing this.
[10:55.710 --> 10:56.240]  You'll hurt yourself.
[10:56.240 --> 11:09.210]  So, those sites exist solely to make you believe they are the only sites that exist for this sort of thing.
[11:10.260 --> 11:15.820]  And they are mostly fueled by the same kind of people buying the same kind of things.
[11:16.060 --> 11:20.700]  Well, the world of couponing and discounts and bargains is much bigger than that.
[11:20.700 --> 11:27.380]  And it started before the Internet ever existed with compulsive people known as stockpilers.
[11:27.860 --> 11:29.640]  Everybody knows one.
[11:30.480 --> 11:38.760]  Everybody knows somebody who buys up a whole lot of something just because it's cheap and has no use for it and ends up dying alone.
[11:39.700 --> 11:48.460]  Maybe with a few cats or a dog and a house full of perhaps shampoo or teriyaki sauce.
[11:49.820 --> 11:51.860]  You have stay-at-home moms.
[11:52.020 --> 11:57.590]  Stay-at-home moms are a big part of the couponing world and have been for a long time.
[11:58.420 --> 11:59.540]  That's pretty obvious.
[11:59.540 --> 12:02.700]  They have a whole family to feed on a certain budget.
[12:02.960 --> 12:04.620]  So, coupons are important to them.
[12:05.040 --> 12:07.780]  You have your fat wallet and your slick deals people.
[12:08.780 --> 12:11.480]  You have people who are called refunders.
[12:12.200 --> 12:19.140]  Refunders are people who live in an area whose stores don't accept coupons or don't offer a great value.
[12:19.420 --> 12:23.830]  And so they use the try-me-free forms or the mail-in rebates as much as possible.
[12:24.020 --> 12:29.580]  And they have a whole other world because when you fill out a refund you need the original refund form.
[12:29.680 --> 12:33.620]  And so people in California will trade with people in Florida for different forms.
[12:33.710 --> 12:38.300]  And they have magazines and they have conventions and that's a whole other world.
[12:39.220 --> 12:44.590]  You have pack rats who are a lot like stockpilers only they only take people's garbage.
[12:44.900 --> 12:56.500]  You know, when the guy dies with some shampoo the pack rats show up at the tag sale and the person says we'll just take it away and they take it away and stick it away in case they ever need it.
[12:57.420 --> 13:07.120]  You have two very popular websites called the Coupon Mom and the Grocery Game which I refer to as the Beverly Hills bitch and the Midwest bitch.
[13:09.090 --> 13:12.020]  I don't use that word lightly so please don't get me wrong.
[13:12.280 --> 13:17.120]  They aggravate me because they only tell you half the story for their game.
[13:17.960 --> 13:20.440]  And that's one of the reasons I'm here is to tell people the whole story.
[13:21.960 --> 13:26.640]  Their sites, one is free, one costs money, they have the exact same information.
[13:27.080 --> 13:34.800]  So anyone bright enough to pay for the free information is really helping us along in the coupon world.
[13:36.800 --> 13:45.830]  All they do is they tell you what circulars have been in your paper lately and how to match them up with your local store sale to get the item cheap without having to do any work.
[13:46.060 --> 13:57.660]  What they don't tell you is all the other coupons that exist, the coupons that maybe come in the mail or the coupons that are stapled to the package or the coupons that are in the cereal box or whatever.
[13:57.900 --> 14:00.540]  They only focus on the ones that everybody has.
[14:01.000 --> 14:02.560]  Well, what's the problem with that?
[14:02.660 --> 14:07.420]  The problem with that is everybody's going after the same three or four items.
[14:08.300 --> 14:09.680]  It doesn't get you anywhere.
[14:10.520 --> 14:12.000]  You have the bloggers.
[14:12.330 --> 14:13.680]  How many people from New York?
[14:13.800 --> 14:14.200]  Show of hands.
[14:15.160 --> 14:16.500]  How many people from Brooklyn?
[14:16.820 --> 14:17.240]  Show of hands.
[14:18.180 --> 14:20.700]  All right, you're the sons of bitches that piss me off in the middle of the night.
[14:22.040 --> 14:25.000]  It seems like everyone in Brooklyn has a blog.
[14:25.540 --> 14:30.300]  And the average blog should just be called I Just Discovered My Own Asshole.
[14:34.090 --> 14:36.770]  And the post goes something like this.
[14:37.450 --> 14:38.450]  Hey, everybody.
[14:38.910 --> 14:40.430]  I have an asshole.
[14:41.130 --> 14:42.150]  Shit comes out.
[14:42.470 --> 14:44.330]  Can you f*cking believe this?
[14:44.890 --> 14:46.070]  Here's some pictures.
[14:47.570 --> 14:49.190]  This Just Happened.
[14:49.930 --> 14:51.110]  93 comments.
[14:52.350 --> 14:57.230]  And then you go on another website called Digg, D-I-G-G.
[14:57.790 --> 15:01.470]  And the top Digg story will be Man Finds Asshole.
[15:03.110 --> 15:04.150]  292 comments.
[15:05.710 --> 15:12.630]  And then, sadly, the state of affairs and our media, you'll turn on f*cking World News Tonight.
[15:13.310 --> 15:15.910]  And they'll be like, Man in Brooklyn Finds Asshole.
[15:16.450 --> 15:18.090]  See what bloggers are saying.
[15:19.110 --> 15:20.950]  Hey, I have one of these, too.
[15:22.010 --> 15:24.470]  Assholes have been discovered as far away as Japan.
[15:26.610 --> 15:28.430]  They have deal blogs.
[15:28.630 --> 15:29.350]  They all suck.
[15:29.530 --> 15:32.730]  I have not seen a single remotely good one.
[15:32.990 --> 15:33.670]  Not one.
[15:34.290 --> 15:38.450]  The deal blogs say things like, DVDs are cheap at Best Buy.
[15:38.610 --> 15:38.990]  Go there.
[15:40.390 --> 15:41.350]  92 comments.
[15:41.550 --> 15:43.830]  Hey, this asshole thing is still going from yesterday.
[15:43.970 --> 15:44.390]  Ha, ha, ha.
[15:47.230 --> 15:49.030]  We have the arch nemesis.
[15:49.490 --> 15:52.970]  Everything you're into has an arch nemesis, right?
[15:53.390 --> 15:59.250]  Ours is something called the Coupon Information Center and a sad little man known as Bud Miller.
[16:00.090 --> 16:02.710]  And I don't really have anything personally against Bud.
[16:02.790 --> 16:03.550]  I've never met him.
[16:03.630 --> 16:04.870]  I've invited him on our show.
[16:04.870 --> 16:06.190]  He won't come on our show.
[16:07.850 --> 16:17.810]  Bud is supposed to protect the coupon industry from legitimate fraud, like bodegas that don't sell the products and cut up 100 coupons and send them in and get a check for items they never had.
[16:18.050 --> 16:21.130]  I mean, that's legitimate fraud and that's what his job is and that's cool.
[16:21.810 --> 16:23.150]  Somebody should do that.
[16:24.050 --> 16:29.710]  But unfortunately, it's so hard for him to find any real coupon fraud.
[16:29.710 --> 16:37.970]  He likes to go after the stay-at-home moms and the refunders who are just trading, you know, coupon here or there to get their product for that and it's ridiculous.
[16:39.230 --> 16:46.050]  So he's very threatening and, you know, a stay-at-home mom isn't like a hacker who goes, you know what, who are you?
[16:46.510 --> 16:48.510]  They go, oh shit, I don't want to get in trouble.
[16:48.650 --> 16:49.690]  Let's just stop this.
[16:50.290 --> 16:51.410]  And that's unfortunate.
[16:53.030 --> 16:54.350]  You have clipping services.
[16:54.510 --> 17:04.130]  Clipping services are people who just, you know, go to the local recycling center, clean out all the circulars people tossed away, cut them all up, staple them in batches, and sell them on eBay.
[17:04.370 --> 17:12.050]  So if you know that, say, shampoo is going on sale next week, you could order, you know, a hundred shampoo coupons for a dollar or something.
[17:12.710 --> 17:16.250]  You have the really good coupon websites.
[17:16.250 --> 17:29.570]  My favorite is something called afullcup.com and this is people who are hardcore couponers who really care about coupons and will educate you.
[17:29.570 --> 17:31.850]  they are friendly to new people.
[17:32.410 --> 17:33.490]  That's a big deal.
[17:34.950 --> 17:39.470]  You know, every day, a hundred newbies go on there and say, I don't know what I'm doing.
[17:39.590 --> 17:45.510]  And every single post gets answered politely, respectfully, and with useful information.
[17:45.970 --> 17:52.970]  And it's one of the only things that I know of on the Internet that has so many insiders that they do that.
[17:53.090 --> 17:54.470]  And that's a big deal to me.
[17:56.210 --> 17:57.410]  You have Dealagogo.
[17:57.670 --> 17:59.030]  Dealagogo was a great site.
[17:59.210 --> 18:05.370]  Basically, Dealagogo was the Fat Wallet coupon section when Fat Wallet decided they didn't want to deal with coupon people anymore.
[18:05.890 --> 18:13.410]  And unfortunately, they sold out recently to some religious group who has families.com and pissed off a lot of their users in the process.
[18:13.530 --> 18:16.450]  And now you have all these sort of fringe ones opening up overnight.
[18:16.630 --> 18:18.890]  But a full cup is really my favorite one.
[18:21.110 --> 18:24.250]  The difference between store coupon and manufacturer coupon.
[18:24.390 --> 18:25.270]  A lot of people don't know this.
[18:25.370 --> 18:25.910]  It's very important.
[18:26.310 --> 18:33.090]  You can use a store coupon and a manufacturer coupon on the same product.
[18:33.690 --> 18:35.310]  So let's go back to shampoo.
[18:35.590 --> 18:37.050]  Let's say it costs $2.
[18:37.530 --> 18:42.550]  You have a $1 CVS store coupon that was in the CVS ad.
[18:42.670 --> 18:46.270]  And you have a $1 manufacturer coupon from the Sunday paper.
[18:46.430 --> 18:49.170]  You could use both and just get the item for free.
[18:50.390 --> 18:57.070]  Even though it says limit one per transaction, you know, so much of couponing is semantics.
[18:57.250 --> 19:02.670]  Which is why it's such a pleasure to speak to a crowd with an IQ over, you know, a hundred.
[19:04.790 --> 19:07.570]  Because so much is semantics.
[19:07.750 --> 19:12.430]  And I really think that hackers would really enjoy the game aspect of couponing.
[19:12.830 --> 19:16.010]  Limit one per transaction does not mean limit one per customer.
[19:16.330 --> 19:19.950]  Limit one per transaction does not mean you have to ring up one at a time.
[19:20.070 --> 19:21.790]  I mean, you can really...
[19:21.790 --> 19:24.350]  It's all semantics between you and the cashier.
[19:25.490 --> 19:35.130]  Show of hands here, who thinks the average IQ in this room is higher than the average IQ of a room full of grocery store cashiers?
[19:37.670 --> 19:40.730]  Okay, anyone with their hand down, would you please leave?
[19:41.730 --> 19:43.510]  I don't want to be responsible.
[19:45.290 --> 19:46.930]  Why do people coupon?
[19:47.170 --> 19:48.330]  One, financial gain.
[19:48.870 --> 19:52.770]  It's they are handing you free money all day long everywhere you go.
[19:53.490 --> 19:55.110]  Two, financial hardship.
[19:55.830 --> 19:59.550]  Somebody got laid off, you're broke, whatever reason, you've got to coupon.
[20:00.270 --> 20:04.470]  Three, my favorite, the challenge of it, the sport of it.
[20:04.590 --> 20:19.850]  There's nothing like waking up on a Sunday morning at the crack of dawn to perhaps go to, I don't know, Long Island somewhere to maybe, let's say, a Wallbaums to perhaps buy 500 boxes of cereal because the movie tickets they give you for it are worth more than the cereal.
[20:22.450 --> 20:26.150]  Speaking of which, I love playing Santa Claus in grocery store parking lots.
[20:26.530 --> 20:29.850]  That's like my favorite because you can't fit any more shit in the car and you don't need it anyway.
[20:33.110 --> 20:33.590]  Charity.
[20:33.730 --> 20:34.870]  Hey, this is real important.
[20:35.030 --> 20:35.350]  Seriously.
[20:35.950 --> 20:41.110]  You know, everybody in the hacker community, this is my first hope, but I've been to DEFCON before a few years ago.
[20:41.650 --> 20:46.330]  And everybody in the hacker community is always concerned with the image of the hacker community.
[20:46.450 --> 20:47.690]  I mean, obviously.
[20:48.310 --> 20:54.670]  One of the best ways I've found that groups of delinquents can improve their image is by donating to charity.
[20:55.090 --> 21:05.630]  I say that as an official member of the New York area Parrot Head Club that is a group of Jimmy Buffet fans who are constantly drunk in public wearing Hawaiian shirts.
[21:06.590 --> 21:09.050]  But everything they do is for charity.
[21:09.610 --> 21:11.810]  They get away with f*cking murder.
[21:14.050 --> 21:21.990]  So for charity, I mean, if I fill my car with a zillion boxes of cereal and drive it down to a food pantry at a church, they can't wait to see me.
[21:22.070 --> 21:23.070]  Who else does this?
[21:23.350 --> 21:24.030]  You know?
[21:24.150 --> 21:33.190]  So if you're looking for a way to really do something good in your community that doesn't really cost anything and is fun, this is a great thing to do.
[21:36.470 --> 21:38.830]  I need to switch over for a second.
[21:38.990 --> 21:40.470]  We're going to talk technical here.
[21:40.670 --> 21:42.670]  Could we switch over to my laptop, please?
[21:45.880 --> 21:46.760]  Okay, there we go.
[21:46.860 --> 21:47.540]  Here's a coupon.
[21:49.100 --> 21:49.760]  Finlandia Swiss.
[21:50.100 --> 21:58.880]  This is a great coupon because you can just, whatever it says on there, you can just go to the deli counter and order about a dollar's worth of Finlandia Swiss and use this coupon.
[21:59.280 --> 22:06.040]  They really hate it when you ask for like ten-eighth of a pound packages of Finlandia Swiss, but what the f*ck?
[22:06.100 --> 22:07.020]  I'm not doing anything.
[22:08.740 --> 22:10.860]  All right, so let's look at the numbers on the coupon.
[22:12.120 --> 22:13.140]  This is very important.
[22:13.280 --> 22:15.340]  You will almost never find this on a website.
[22:15.460 --> 22:25.540]  You will find this on a website called dealideal.com, but any other website that does coupons will not post this because the moment they do, they get threatened by Bud Miller.
[22:26.340 --> 22:27.920]  Another great reason to be here.
[22:29.780 --> 22:33.600]  The first digit you see on this coupon is a nine.
[22:33.920 --> 22:37.820]  This first digit will always be either a nine or a five.
[22:38.820 --> 22:42.820]  If the digit is a...
[22:44.380 --> 22:44.900]  Sorry.
[22:45.700 --> 22:48.600]  I do this all day long, but I have so much on my mind.
[22:49.800 --> 22:50.640]  Yeah, f*ck it.
[22:50.720 --> 22:51.480]  I think it's a nine.
[22:51.480 --> 22:56.320]  A nine will double and a five will not double or vice versa.
[22:56.460 --> 22:57.640]  You'll figure that out on your own.
[22:59.260 --> 23:02.060]  But one means double and one means do not double.
[23:02.280 --> 23:06.540]  How many people by a show of hands have a grocery store that does double coupons?
[23:07.460 --> 23:13.240]  How many people by a show of hands do not know what I mean when I say double coupons and it's really fine if you don't know?
[23:13.640 --> 23:13.780]  Okay.
[23:14.380 --> 23:21.760]  Double coupons means your grocery store, if I present, let's say, Say a 50 cents off item will actually honor it for a dollar.
[23:22.000 --> 23:24.540]  They will double the value of the coupon.
[23:25.140 --> 23:27.940]  Sometimes stores compete and they do triple coupons.
[23:28.680 --> 23:30.680]  Some stores never do double coupons.
[23:30.840 --> 23:34.540]  But if your store does a double coupon, it's usually up to 99 cents.
[23:35.320 --> 23:37.880]  So the nine and five double and do not double.
[23:38.080 --> 23:44.720]  The next five digits in the barcode there are the manufacturer's code.
[23:44.900 --> 23:52.100]  This is the same set of numbers that will be on the actual product you are purchasing in the same location.
[23:53.780 --> 23:58.260]  The next three digits are the product code.
[23:58.520 --> 24:02.860]  And the product code has a wildcard, which is zero.
[24:03.280 --> 24:06.800]  So let's say this coupon had zero, zero, zero.
[24:07.940 --> 24:14.800]  It would be good for any product made by Finlandia, regardless of what the text on the coupon actually says.
[24:15.600 --> 24:21.500]  If it said one, zero, zero on the product, itself would be, you know, one, two, three, whatever.
[24:21.700 --> 24:22.780]  Zeros are wildcards.
[24:23.960 --> 24:26.600]  Show of hands, anyone who doesn't know what a wildcard is?
[24:28.580 --> 24:29.680]  I have a casino.
[24:30.080 --> 24:31.260]  We'll go check it out later.
[24:34.660 --> 24:35.140]  Okay.
[24:35.460 --> 24:39.700]  So the next two digits are the dollar amount off.
[24:40.760 --> 24:43.420]  In this case, that would be the 6-5.
[24:45.180 --> 24:47.960]  Obviously, a dollar, you know, larger denominations.
[24:48.200 --> 24:49.000]  Put it this way.
[24:49.700 --> 24:52.020]  Smallest denomination on a coupon is 10 cents.
[24:52.420 --> 24:54.880]  The largest denomination on a coupon is $10.
[24:55.820 --> 24:59.220]  It's very easy to find this chart online if you search for it.
[24:59.280 --> 25:02.980]  Just search your favorite search engine and you'll find the chart of what they all mean.
[25:03.240 --> 25:11.860]  The important ones to know are zero, zero, which means no matter what the coupon says, the register will beep and it asks for a cashier intervention.
[25:12.540 --> 25:18.740]  One of the more common uses of this is, like, they give a lot of coupons out for free glucose meters, which are about 30 bucks.
[25:19.680 --> 25:21.040]  So they'll put a zero, zero.
[25:21.300 --> 25:21.680]  It'll beep.
[25:21.800 --> 25:24.340]  The cashier will type in $30 and you'll be on your way.
[25:25.340 --> 25:27.760]  Zero, one is for a free item.
[25:27.900 --> 25:31.640]  If it just said, you know, free pack of gum, that would be a zero, one.
[25:32.240 --> 25:35.000]  And 14 is for buy one, get one free.
[25:36.960 --> 25:40.160]  And we're going to talk about buy one free in another minute or two.
[25:41.780 --> 25:47.900]  When you go in a grocery store, even if you've been there a hundred times, this is fun.
[25:48.060 --> 25:49.360]  You guys are going to like this.
[25:50.740 --> 25:55.640]  Go to the customer service counter and ask them for a copy of their coupon policy.
[25:56.700 --> 26:04.760]  The look on their face is like they have to take a really big shit and they're not listening.
[26:08.240 --> 26:08.720]  What?
[26:08.720 --> 26:10.260]  Your coupon policy.
[26:10.440 --> 26:13.220]  Your corporate website says every store has a coupon policy.
[26:13.400 --> 26:14.360]  It should be back here somewhere.
[26:14.500 --> 26:15.000]  Please find it.
[26:15.180 --> 26:16.000]  They have no idea.
[26:17.300 --> 26:25.980]  But you will be interested to know that two stores in the same chain a few miles apart will have very different coupon policies.
[26:28.160 --> 26:32.480]  And I need to cut some things out here because I'm taking so long to tell you all this stuff.
[26:34.340 --> 26:36.640]  You can test for something called overage.
[26:36.760 --> 26:41.320]  Overage is when you have coupons in excess of the amount of the product you are buying.
[26:42.080 --> 26:52.400]  So if you have a coupon for 50 cents off an item that's only 75 cents and the store doubles, you essentially make 25 cents in overage.
[26:53.600 --> 26:55.560]  That's a very small scale.
[26:56.120 --> 26:57.200]  Think bigger picture.
[26:57.700 --> 27:03.180]  Think 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 dollars in overage and now you start to get free groceries.
[27:03.180 --> 27:12.980]  I tell you the 50 cent, 75 cent example because it's the easiest test to see if your store's registers will give you overage or not.
[27:13.460 --> 27:19.620]  I also need to remind you that if you do redeem a coupon for something for which it is not intended, that is fraud.
[27:19.920 --> 27:22.400]  I do not tell you to commit fraud.
[27:22.500 --> 27:23.500]  Fraud is bad.
[27:24.300 --> 27:27.200]  Show of hands, anyone does not think fraud is bad?
[27:27.980 --> 27:28.500]  Good.
[27:31.080 --> 27:39.500]  I tell you this because this way when you read the coupon without ever reading anything, you'll know what it's intended for.
[27:39.920 --> 27:48.080]  The next four digits on the coupon are the redemption house, where the store will send the coupon to be redeemed for cash.
[27:48.280 --> 27:54.220]  The next digit after that, the six, is the manufacturer's code for that redemption house.
[27:54.220 --> 28:00.760]  And the following five numbers are the offer code for that manufacturer for that redemption house.
[28:01.100 --> 28:03.820]  Occasionally you may see a coupon with four additional digits.
[28:04.000 --> 28:05.600]  Those are the expiration date.
[28:05.840 --> 28:07.380]  Notice there is no year.
[28:09.240 --> 28:21.200]  If you need something called filler, filler is you have coupons for a dollar off but your purchases are only 99 cents and your store doesn't give overage, whatever.
[28:21.760 --> 28:25.420]  The best filler is Ramen noodles, one package.
[28:26.760 --> 28:30.680]  Store gift card, grocery store gift cards usually do work with coupons.
[28:30.900 --> 28:34.260]  There is a grocery store, this is a funny one, I've seen it in a few places in the country.
[28:34.700 --> 28:38.740]  You cannot use coupons for more than 50% off of your total order.
[28:38.980 --> 28:45.480]  So what you do is you buy the gift cards to bulk up your order and then you can use the coupons for any amount you want.
[28:46.100 --> 28:48.080]  Does anyone not follow that logic?
[28:49.020 --> 28:51.620]  Seriously, I mean if you don't, I want to go, you don't get it?
[28:51.720 --> 28:51.820]  Okay.
[28:53.100 --> 29:04.320]  If I have $100 worth of food and I have $75 worth of coupons, the store will not let me use more than $50 worth of coupons.
[29:04.780 --> 29:10.540]  So what I do is I buy an additional $50 worth of store gift card, so I spent $150.
[29:11.220 --> 29:18.220]  Now I can use the $75 worth of coupons on my food and the $50 gift card I've just bought is the same as cash.
[29:18.220 --> 29:25.500]  In some cases, you can actually use the gift card at the register they've just handed you to pay for the same order.
[29:29.840 --> 29:34.840]  And if you think the look at customer service is good, just wait till you see the cashier on that one.
[29:39.840 --> 29:40.280]  Okay.
[29:40.760 --> 29:43.040]  I talked about buy one, get one free coupons.
[29:43.220 --> 29:46.080]  Again, semantics, you guys are going to love this, right?
[29:46.840 --> 29:48.540]  A store has a sale.
[29:48.760 --> 29:51.320]  Now I'm a short, fat jewish guy from New York.
[29:52.140 --> 29:58.340]  I have no business driving around with a car full of tampons, maxi pads, a teddy bear, and a monkey puppet.
[30:02.180 --> 30:05.620]  But then there was the day I learned about buy one, get one free.
[30:07.620 --> 30:18.700]  If the store has a sale that is buy one, get one free, and you have a manufacturer's coupon for that item.
[30:18.940 --> 30:21.500]  For buy one, get one free.
[30:21.960 --> 30:23.320]  They're both free.
[30:24.740 --> 30:26.920]  They cancel each other out.
[30:27.180 --> 30:27.900]  You see?
[30:28.080 --> 30:32.340]  The store automatically takes one off and the coupon automatically takes one off.
[30:32.560 --> 30:34.420]  They're both free.
[30:35.240 --> 30:47.140]  If they give you any shit, use this very polite, intelligent, calm line that I like to use as an upstanding member of my community.
[30:48.040 --> 30:49.600]  Are you f*cking dense?
[30:53.670 --> 30:57.150]  They'll want you out of the store so fast they'll ring up whatever the f*ck you say.
[31:02.410 --> 31:06.150]  In the interest of time, I'm going to skip about half my presentation.
[31:07.170 --> 31:14.350]  I'm sorry, I could go on for three f*cking hours with this, but we've already done 45 minutes on like four things.
[31:14.470 --> 31:16.350]  And if you want to lock the doors shut, I'll keep going.
[31:17.110 --> 31:18.470]  I got nowhere to be.
[31:20.890 --> 31:29.490]  I'm going to get into the hacktivism component because really of all the things on here, on the sheet, I mean you could learn all this stuff on your own sooner or later.
[31:29.610 --> 31:30.150]  You really could.
[31:30.410 --> 31:37.090]  But what's original to me is the hacktivism component and what's wrong with the system.
[31:37.170 --> 31:44.070]  What's wrong with the fact that I can go in a store and get hundreds of bottles of something and get paid to take it, you know?
[31:45.130 --> 31:48.610]  One, it's a ridiculous waste of raw materials.
[31:48.870 --> 31:55.350]  And I am not into ecology or the environment or anything like that.
[31:55.570 --> 31:57.350]  I could give a f*ck about Greenpeace.
[31:57.550 --> 31:58.950]  I could give a f*ck about the whales.
[31:59.310 --> 32:00.850]  I hear they're tasty.
[32:00.850 --> 32:01.810]  I don't know.
[32:03.770 --> 32:16.390]  But realistically, as a human being on this planet, they did a deal on a Sunny Delight drink which tastes like, in my opinion, an orange pissed its pants.
[32:18.550 --> 32:22.150]  And it was a dollar a bottle for a big bottle on sale.
[32:22.910 --> 32:31.410]  And for every eight bottles you bought, you sent in the labels from them and they would send you four movie tickets, which is worth about $48 here in New York.
[32:31.730 --> 32:34.970]  So for $8, I was getting $48 worth of movie tickets.
[32:34.970 --> 32:37.270]  And actually, I go to a movie every single day.
[32:38.230 --> 32:38.850]  I do.
[32:41.870 --> 32:43.070]  Dude, I play with puppets.
[32:43.110 --> 32:43.950]  What the f*ck do you want?
[32:47.190 --> 32:51.250]  But I'm standing in the parking lot of the grocery store with a shopping cart full of the Sunny Delight.
[32:51.350 --> 32:52.630]  I've peeled all the labels off.
[32:52.710 --> 32:53.990]  I am not going to drink this stuff.
[32:55.230 --> 32:57.370]  And I'm trying to hand them out Santa Claus style.
[32:57.490 --> 32:58.690]  And nobody will f*cking take them.
[32:59.310 --> 33:03.890]  Now, you can't donate them because with no labels, the food pantry just kind of assumes it's tainted.
[33:04.030 --> 33:05.150]  Or there might be a law in New York.
[33:05.230 --> 33:05.650]  I don't know.
[33:05.750 --> 33:08.590]  But I know that they won't take stuff from me if it has the labels peeled off.
[33:09.010 --> 33:13.690]  So I've got a whole shopping cart full of this tainted water and these plastic bottles.
[33:14.550 --> 33:16.770]  I just abandoned it because...
[33:17.890 --> 33:19.550]  And it's so wasteful.
[33:19.590 --> 33:21.630]  And I know it's so wasteful.
[33:21.730 --> 33:25.470]  And I do feel bad about that, but I didn't create the f*cking promotion.
[33:26.150 --> 33:30.510]  These things can rot here in the parking lot, they can rot in my house, or they can rot in the store.
[33:31.210 --> 33:33.010]  I don't know what to do about that.
[33:33.230 --> 33:38.530]  I mean, I guess in theory you could stop participating in the promotion, but no one's going to pay me to do that.
[33:40.650 --> 33:41.690]  What do you do?
[33:44.410 --> 33:52.230]  Yeah, you could give them to bums, but, you know, unfortunately, if they f*cking die because they're diabetic, you know, you're responsible.
[33:53.950 --> 33:55.770]  I didn't create the f*cking law.
[33:55.910 --> 33:57.390]  I'm just trying to work within it.
[33:59.150 --> 34:07.590]  And speaking of that, I mean, it's my concept of the best way to fight these big bad companies is through legitimate redemptions of these promotions.
[34:07.790 --> 34:11.330]  I mean, they anticipate very few people are actually going to follow through with this.
[34:11.410 --> 34:13.950]  Can we switch back to my other screen there, please?
[34:16.030 --> 34:18.510]  Very few people are actually going to follow through with these redemptions.
[34:18.510 --> 34:22.610]  Well, I mean, you could cost a company a lot of money by actually redeeming these things.
[34:23.710 --> 34:25.670]  And people don't think about that.
[34:25.790 --> 34:26.770]  They think, well, I'm going to stay away.
[34:26.990 --> 34:33.070]  I feel bad that I don't remember the name of the man who spoke last night, the keynote, but I was fascinated by him.
[34:33.150 --> 34:34.410]  I thought his speech was very good.
[34:35.210 --> 34:37.310]  I thought his hair could use some work, but okay.
[34:39.490 --> 34:41.050]  But he said something really interesting.
[34:41.170 --> 34:46.750]  He said he doesn't buy anything with a credit card because he doesn't want anyone to know where he's been, what he's bought, etc.
[34:47.890 --> 34:48.730]  And that's good.
[34:48.870 --> 34:49.950]  I mean, I really do respect that.
[34:50.030 --> 34:50.670]  I really, really do.
[34:50.770 --> 34:52.430]  I wish I could do that, but I can't.
[34:52.830 --> 34:56.890]  Because they give me so much free shit for using my credit cards.
[34:57.630 --> 35:05.530]  I mean, I've had an American Express blacklisted at certain stores before because I've charged 19 cents, 20 cents, over and over again.
[35:05.650 --> 35:09.230]  And that's what it costs them 25 cents to run my card.
[35:09.530 --> 35:15.050]  But the thing is, Amex does double points at drug stores, gas stores, and grocery stores.
[35:15.050 --> 35:19.950]  So I get two points, like I've spent two bucks for 19 cents worth of free shit, basically.
[35:21.290 --> 35:26.990]  So at the same time, I'm f*ucking the system just as bad as he is.
[35:27.110 --> 35:30.970]  I'm probably f*cking it more because I'm creating lots of false data.
[35:30.970 --> 35:47.990]  You know, we have market research that shows 23 to 30-year-old males prefer to use the card for transactions between 9 cents and 26 cents between 4 p.m.
[35:49.530 --> 35:52.110]  Oh, I think I have to pee from all this Starbucks.
[35:53.490 --> 35:58.490]  You know, so I'm really f*cking the system just as bad as he is by not... he doesn't use the cards I do.
[36:00.770 --> 36:03.370]  There's also, I mean, on a technical level...
[36:03.950 --> 36:08.730]  I mean, I know you're all going to mock me because I do use Windows XP and you can boo and hiss and I don't give a f*ck.
[36:08.950 --> 36:11.090]  Because you're not coming over to do my computers for me.
[36:11.090 --> 36:14.030]  And I don't have the time to figure everything else out.
[36:14.150 --> 36:20.610]  But I know that the software running on the registers, the software running on the POS and all that is horrible.
[36:21.110 --> 36:25.310]  And they spend no money hiring anyone in this room to improve it.
[36:25.650 --> 36:27.250]  And that seems wrong.
[36:27.510 --> 36:28.730]  And that seems stupid.
[36:31.830 --> 36:39.010]  There's also something called the Returns Database where they record everything you return to see if you're a constant returner.
[36:39.010 --> 36:41.930]  And can stop you from returning things in the future.
[36:42.710 --> 36:44.310]  This was invented by men.
[36:44.670 --> 36:48.350]  Men don't know that women don't like to use changing rooms in the stores.
[36:48.650 --> 36:50.990]  And they like to buy the clothes, take them home...
[36:50.990 --> 36:52.310]  I know most of the men in the room don't know this either.
[36:52.490 --> 36:55.970]  But they like to buy the clothes, take them home, try them on and bring them back if they don't fit.
[36:57.190 --> 36:59.150]  They all got flagged in the Returns Database.
[37:00.690 --> 37:02.070]  Horrible failure of the system.
[37:03.610 --> 37:04.890]  One of my...
[37:04.890 --> 37:06.690]  Two major points here.
[37:06.690 --> 37:08.570]  Best way to f*ck with a store?
[37:08.810 --> 37:09.710]  Employee magazines.
[37:10.550 --> 37:11.630]  Go through a store.
[37:11.770 --> 37:14.330]  Best Buy, Target, Right Aid, Duane Reade, any of that shit.
[37:14.790 --> 37:18.690]  And look around for the employee newsletter, the employee magazine.
[37:19.050 --> 37:22.970]  Which is often left for the public to read in the pharmacy area.
[37:23.990 --> 37:27.890]  Like you're bored and you want to learn about their f*cking employee internal politics.
[37:29.210 --> 37:30.170]  They're hilarious.
[37:30.170 --> 37:32.450]  I wrote a complaint letter to Best Buy once.
[37:32.650 --> 37:40.930]  Because I went to my Best Buy and there were photos on the wall behind loss prevention of all the Best Buy employees throwing gang signs.
[37:42.770 --> 37:52.190]  And I went back a couple weeks later and they had a nice new cork board with a frame for all of the photographs with the gang signs in them.
[37:52.270 --> 37:53.710]  They were no longer taped to the wall.
[37:54.970 --> 37:57.650]  And then I picked up the Best Buy employee newsletter.
[37:57.870 --> 38:03.210]  And there are photos of different employees in different stores throwing up various gang signs.
[38:03.510 --> 38:08.530]  And then it dawned on me, oh, they thought my problem was that they were taped to the wall.
[38:13.030 --> 38:19.330]  The other thing I'd like to say about Best Buy, because I only have a couple of minutes left, that pains me.
[38:19.330 --> 38:20.770]  I mean, it really pains me.
[38:20.890 --> 38:23.630]  And I think I'm looking at the average age of the people in this room.
[38:23.630 --> 38:24.370]  Let's face it.
[38:24.490 --> 38:25.470]  We're all a little bit older.
[38:26.250 --> 38:29.790]  We've all been doing this for a little while with technology and things.
[38:31.010 --> 38:38.450]  Did you dream in the 80s that the goal of the electronics industry would be to have these f*cking idiots selling electronics?
[38:39.090 --> 38:45.630]  I mean, wasn't the goal that we knew better than everybody else that we were playing with these things and one day they would f*cking need us?
[38:45.630 --> 38:46.710]  And they don't.
[38:46.790 --> 38:49.210]  They hire the dumbest f*cking people they can find.
[38:50.410 --> 38:51.370]  It's horrible.
[38:52.190 --> 38:54.010]  It is horrible.
[38:54.530 --> 38:55.930]  Who wants to work there anyway?
[38:56.090 --> 38:57.690]  I don't know who wants to work, you know.
[38:57.910 --> 38:58.970]  Who wants to event buy?
[38:59.150 --> 38:59.410]  Yeah.
[38:59.730 --> 39:03.430]  Who wants to event buy?
[39:03.530 --> 39:04.250]  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[39:04.470 --> 39:04.950]  Exactly.
[39:05.770 --> 39:06.030]  Exactly.
[39:06.450 --> 39:11.690]  And, I mean, it's just horrible.
[39:13.270 --> 39:16.590]  The other thing, I travel all over the country.
[39:16.590 --> 39:17.690]  I see...
[39:17.690 --> 39:22.670]  I've been to so many Targets, Walmarts, Kmarts, you have no f*cking idea.
[39:24.210 --> 39:33.610]  And I love to sit at the bench in front of the registers and just watch people buy stuff and the looks on their faces like this piece of shit is going to change their life.
[39:35.610 --> 39:50.570]  And you have these big stores that cost millions of dollars and they have every skew imaginable and they have food and pharmacy and everything and you get up to the register and you always hear this, I ain't got a pen, you got a pen?
[39:50.570 --> 39:52.830]  He paying with a credit card, I ain't got a pen.
[39:52.890 --> 39:53.450]  Who got a pen?
[39:55.050 --> 39:59.910]  And literally, I mean, you know, 20 registers and nobody has a pen.
[40:00.290 --> 40:08.050]  The bottleneck of a multi-million dollar store bigger than most schools is a pen.
[40:11.750 --> 40:14.250]  And this goes on so often.
[40:16.390 --> 40:17.210]  Yeah, go ahead.
[40:17.670 --> 40:19.550]  Could you talk into that microphone behind you?
[40:19.630 --> 40:20.370]  I'll take a question.
[40:20.970 --> 40:22.670]  What about the self-checkouts?
[40:22.670 --> 40:25.170]  Do you find it easier to manipulate coupon schemes?
[40:25.170 --> 40:25.650]  No.
[40:26.410 --> 40:27.510]  And it's not a scheme.
[40:27.670 --> 40:29.850]  I mean, I'm just trying to use coupons and I'll tell you why.
[40:31.270 --> 40:34.170]  You can go in a store you've never been to before and they have self-checkout.
[40:34.310 --> 40:38.230]  And let's say the store has a limit, you can only buy four of something and four coupons.
[40:38.330 --> 40:38.710]  You know what I mean?
[40:39.470 --> 40:43.170]  And you buy your four, you throw them in the car, you go back in the store, you go buy four more.
[40:43.770 --> 40:44.530]  On and on and on.
[40:46.270 --> 40:48.450]  Until you hand out Sunny Delight in the parking lot.
[40:53.390 --> 41:01.150]  And eventually when you go back after they've done their accounting or whatever, they will have somebody standing there wanting to read the coupons before they let you scan them.
[41:01.310 --> 41:04.030]  And those people are real aggressive and it becomes real childish.
[41:04.150 --> 41:06.990]  And you see me like this with four boxes of raisins and four coupons.
[41:07.090 --> 41:08.030]  Is he f*cking gone yet?
[41:08.310 --> 41:08.930]  Did he go pee?
[41:09.190 --> 41:09.730]  Did he go pee?
[41:09.870 --> 41:10.710]  Okay, run him.
[41:11.110 --> 41:11.390]  You know?
[41:12.350 --> 41:15.110]  But again, I do it for sport and I'm pretty f*cking good at it.
[41:18.070 --> 41:21.030]  That son of a bitch is still going to be there at 11 o'clock, I won't.
[41:22.630 --> 41:23.350]  Great story.
[41:23.570 --> 41:24.390]  I went to Best Buy.
[41:25.130 --> 41:27.330]  I bought a copy of the movie Bring It On.
[41:30.250 --> 41:31.790]  Great movie, I think.
[41:33.210 --> 41:35.390]  I am the target demographic, I have a dick.
[41:39.630 --> 41:44.410]  I bought it online and it was back ordered so I went in the store and I bought it.
[41:44.410 --> 41:45.210]  The online one shows up.
[41:45.290 --> 41:45.930]  I go to return it.
[41:46.110 --> 41:46.830]  It's sealed.
[41:47.070 --> 41:49.890]  You have to return the DVD sealed, new in the package.
[41:50.990 --> 41:55.210]  The girl at the register cuts the seal and opens it up to see if it's in there.
[41:58.570 --> 41:59.950]  Because that's their policy.
[42:01.010 --> 42:10.870]  I don't see why the SEC investigates OfficeMax and doesn't investigate, you know, what do you think their spoils are at a store like that where they open new product?
[42:11.930 --> 42:12.370]  Spoil.
[42:12.950 --> 42:13.630]  Cut it up.
[42:13.750 --> 42:14.190]  Throw it out.
[42:15.230 --> 42:16.390]  I mean, it's ridiculous.
[42:19.810 --> 42:21.630]  I went to CVS one time.
[42:22.630 --> 42:27.510]  They had a sale on cold medicine and they were paying me $2 for each cold medicine I bought.
[42:28.850 --> 42:33.670]  And I was in the kind of city that has those streets that go on forever and there's a million CVS's.
[42:35.130 --> 42:36.330]  I filled the car with them.
[42:36.430 --> 42:38.910]  This is right before the pseudo-sephedrine law came into action.
[42:43.490 --> 42:46.030]  So at the fifth or sixth one, they called the cops.
[42:48.590 --> 42:51.510]  Naturally, they're like, we have a guy, he's got a teddy bear.
[42:53.090 --> 42:55.230]  And he's cleaning us out of cold medicine.
[42:57.010 --> 42:58.130]  In a rental car.
[43:00.330 --> 43:02.950]  And he's walking around listening to the Rolling Stones on his iPad.
[43:02.990 --> 43:03.570]  He's f*cked up.
[43:03.690 --> 43:03.790]  Yeah.
[43:04.330 --> 43:04.750]  Call the cops.
[43:06.290 --> 43:18.270]  So, lucky for me, having them track my purchases saved me from an altercation with the police because I said, look, why don't you go back last month when I bought the hundreds of boxes of maxi pads?
[43:19.850 --> 43:21.870]  Which are not used to make crank.
[43:23.790 --> 43:26.510]  And you will see that I'm just an aggressive coupon shopper.
[43:26.710 --> 43:28.110]  Alright, we're out of time.
[43:28.250 --> 43:29.070]  I could do this all day.
[43:29.230 --> 43:30.290]  It's been an absolute pleasure.
[43:30.470 --> 43:31.810]  Thank you so much for having me.
[43:32.190 --> 43:32.830]  Thank you.
[43:34.430 --> 43:35.130]  Thank you.
[43:36.690 --> 43:40.970]  Please, I encourage you to visit our website, ymmvradio.com.
[43:41.050 --> 43:42.270]  We do not sell anything.
[43:42.270 --> 43:44.710]  I am not advertising that you should buy something.
[43:44.830 --> 43:46.090]  We don't sell anything at all.
[43:46.250 --> 43:47.750]  I make no money at this.
[43:47.870 --> 43:50.790]  I just want to help educate people about coupons.
[43:52.090 --> 43:55.450]  YMMV, like your mileage may vary, radio.com.
[43:55.610 --> 44:01.510]  If you have any questions, I'm gonna pack up my stuff and go out in the hall back there and I'll talk to you all day.
[44:01.630 --> 44:02.270]  Thank you very much.
[44:02.270 --> 44:03.290]  Thank you very much.