[00:03.070 --> 00:04.450]  Hello, I'm C4bl3FL4m3.
[00:05.090 --> 00:08.750]  I have to admit, this is my first time speaking of formal talk, so forgive me if I'm a little bit nervous.
[00:10.470 --> 00:12.730]  As he said, this is Hacking the Mind, Hacking the Body, Pleasure.
[00:13.550 --> 00:22.770]  I spoke about sexuality two years ago here at HOPE in the informal talk, and I had so many people say, you should do it again, you should do it again, that I'm like, all right, what the hell, I'll do it again.
[00:24.290 --> 00:26.350]  A couple things, words of warning before we start.
[00:26.930 --> 00:29.210]  This is a talk about human sexuality.
[00:31.070 --> 00:43.330]  It's not pornographic, however, it will contain frank discussions on sexuality, BDSM, kinky stuff, hypnosis, and other things like that.
[00:43.590 --> 00:49.230]  So if you're not comfortable hearing these things or talking about these things, there are two other lovely talks going on right now.
[00:49.350 --> 00:50.510]  I recommend you go listen to them.
[00:51.250 --> 01:01.530]  Also, being in this room means that you are stating that you are of age of consent for this area, and if you're not, I also unfortunately have to ask you to leave now, because I'm just covering my butt.
[01:01.850 --> 01:05.910]  Also, my non-existent lawyers tell me that I should say that I am not a doctor.
[01:06.090 --> 01:08.450]  Okay, I am a mad doctor, but I'm not a real doctor.
[01:08.570 --> 01:11.510]  Therefore, none of this is to be construed as medical advice.
[01:15.910 --> 01:22.350]  So, obviously, most people here are going to be hackers, and there's many different things and ways you can hack things.
[01:22.550 --> 01:25.590]  The most common one everyone thinks of is computer hacking, you know.
[01:25.890 --> 01:27.270]  How do I get into this box?
[01:27.370 --> 01:27.970]  How do I do this?
[01:28.070 --> 01:28.730]  How do I do that?
[01:28.930 --> 01:30.250]  But there's other forms of hacking, too.
[01:30.350 --> 01:31.330]  You can hack just about anything.
[01:31.510 --> 01:36.530]  There's, as the people in LiveJournal Community 2600 Cuisine know, there's kitchen hacking, you know.
[01:36.530 --> 01:41.390]  You come home at night, there's three things in your cabinet, and you have 30 minutes.
[01:41.710 --> 01:43.390]  Let's throw something together that tastes good.
[01:43.590 --> 01:44.730]  It's another form of hacking.
[01:44.850 --> 01:47.890]  And in this way, we can also look at sexuality.
[01:48.510 --> 01:55.970]  I'm going to be covering two main types, body hacking and mind hacking, and some of the subjects that I'm going to be covering will cross over into both.
[01:57.190 --> 01:58.490]  I'm going to start with body hacking.
[01:58.730 --> 02:10.130]  I'm going to be covering... oh, by the way, in case you don't know this, I pretty much signed myself up for talking about pretty much twice the amount of stuff that I can actually cover in this time slot.
[02:10.870 --> 02:17.750]  So, as I believe he mentioned, directly afterwards, we're going to have a more in-depth discussion over in the informal track.
[02:18.130 --> 02:21.850]  Right now, I'm just going to go over everything really briefly, really quickly to try to get it all in.
[02:22.570 --> 02:28.650]  Really, please come on over and join us and give us your thoughts, too, because I'm not the only one who knows anything about sex, obviously, up here.
[02:28.650 --> 02:32.150]  I want to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions and their experiences.
[02:33.470 --> 02:35.010]  So, I'm going to start with body hacking.
[02:35.230 --> 02:37.090]  I'm going to be covering sex toys and their usage.
[02:38.150 --> 02:41.970]  BDSM, body modifications, and tele and techno dildonics.
[02:42.350 --> 02:43.530]  Let's start with sex toys.
[02:44.330 --> 02:47.350]  There are a wide variety of sex toys on the market out there today.
[02:47.530 --> 02:48.150]  Some of them are good.
[02:48.150 --> 02:49.570]  Some of them are not so good.
[02:49.850 --> 02:51.490]  It all depends on the manufacturer.
[02:53.130 --> 02:55.550]  There are people who just put these out to make a quick buck.
[02:55.550 --> 02:59.790]  They do it to... they say that they sell novelties and things like this.
[03:00.650 --> 03:05.450]  Because of here in America, we don't have any kind of government regulation of sex toys.
[03:06.050 --> 03:15.370]  There's nothing that looks into this, so they can just pretty much put out whatever they want with not too much regard to whether this is safe for a person.
[03:16.070 --> 03:20.890]  So, there's going to be... you're going to encounter a number of different types, a number of different quality of sex toys.
[03:21.890 --> 03:24.390]  I'm pretty much going to put them into two main categories right now.
[03:24.390 --> 03:30.530]  I'm going to put in insertables, which are also pretty much better known as dildos, and vibrators.
[03:32.430 --> 03:34.090]  Let's start with dildos.
[03:35.030 --> 03:37.210]  There's many different places you can insert things.
[03:37.370 --> 03:38.890]  You can insert things into the vagina.
[03:39.070 --> 03:42.070]  You can insert things into the rectum or the... I'm sorry, into the anus.
[03:44.630 --> 03:49.270]  Dildos, you can find them in a wide variety of different materials that they're made out of.
[03:49.350 --> 03:52.010]  And this kind of starts getting into the more, like, techy sex stuff.
[03:52.010 --> 03:55.110]  Because some of the materials that they're made out of nowadays is really high-tech stuff.
[03:55.270 --> 03:59.870]  And it's only stuff that's been invented in the past, heck, even three years I can think of.
[04:01.670 --> 04:03.470]  You can buy a cheap jelly dildo.
[04:03.630 --> 04:11.190]  I'm sure you've all seen the interesting kind of solar panel flowery exhibit with the different sex toys in the front.
[04:11.310 --> 04:12.110]  The big one.
[04:12.250 --> 04:14.510]  The one with all the ones that are hanging here, there, and everywhere.
[04:14.510 --> 04:15.810]  These are made out of jelly.
[04:16.790 --> 04:17.670]  They are...
[04:18.330 --> 04:22.350]  Many of these toys are made out of something that's so...
[04:22.350 --> 04:25.350]  With so many different chemical components, like, there's, like, over 200.
[04:26.030 --> 04:42.490]  There are people who are calling for these kind of dildos not to be made anymore, because they have something called emicophethylates, which in the UK, I believe it is, they're not allowed to use in children's toys if they get chewed on, because of the chemicals that come off of this.
[04:42.670 --> 04:45.670]  You know how they have... I don't know if anyone noticed, but they have this smell.
[04:45.950 --> 04:46.670]  It's called outgassing.
[04:46.790 --> 04:48.010]  It's where they're putting off the chemicals.
[04:49.450 --> 04:51.970]  These things have been known to possibly cause cancer in people.
[04:52.210 --> 04:58.250]  And the walls of the vagina and the walls of the rectum have even more mucous membranes than the walls of the mouth.
[04:58.690 --> 05:02.750]  And so there are many companies, very reputable companies, that won't sell these anymore.
[05:03.290 --> 05:07.030]  There's also silicone toys, which, unfortunately, I can't point you to ones in the lobby.
[05:08.130 --> 05:09.910]  These are really wonderful toys.
[05:10.450 --> 05:12.170]  They conduct heat easily.
[05:12.430 --> 05:13.170]  They conduct cold easily.
[05:13.310 --> 05:16.070]  So you can stick them in your freezer, or you can warm them up a bit, and they'll hold that.
[05:16.370 --> 05:19.350]  They conduct vibrations, like no one's business.
[05:20.290 --> 05:20.610]  And...
[05:21.730 --> 05:22.550]  No, I'm serious.
[05:22.710 --> 05:25.730]  You take a vibrator, you put it on the one, and you kind of feel the end of it.
[05:25.910 --> 05:32.150]  And then you take a vibrator, and you put it on the... and you put it on the end of the silicone one, and it's like night and day.
[05:32.270 --> 05:32.850]  It's ridiculous.
[05:32.990 --> 05:33.410]  It's wonderful.
[05:37.650 --> 05:38.430]  Where was I?
[05:38.790 --> 05:39.430]  Okay, yes, sorry.
[05:42.290 --> 05:43.670]  This is that because I'm talking about sex.
[05:43.750 --> 05:44.770]  This is because I'm actually rather nervous.
[05:46.530 --> 05:52.850]  One of the wonderful things, though, one of the best things about silicone is that it's easily sterilized.
[05:53.090 --> 05:54.550]  You can put in your dishwasher.
[05:54.770 --> 05:55.450]  I'm not kidding.
[05:55.910 --> 05:57.810]  You can put in your dishwasher with the rest of your dishes.
[05:58.390 --> 05:59.530]  You can boil it.
[05:59.690 --> 06:02.290]  I always call it... remember the children's story stone soup?
[06:02.410 --> 06:03.270]  Yeah, I always call it...
[06:03.270 --> 06:04.310]  I'm making dildo soup.
[06:05.930 --> 06:08.710]  And if you have an autoclave, you can put them in an autoclave.
[06:09.730 --> 06:13.930]  So these toys are great for penetrative play.
[06:15.170 --> 06:21.230]  There are some that are specifically made to hit the G spot, which is part of a woman's vagina.
[06:21.790 --> 06:24.730]  And it's a spot that in many women can bring about great pleasure.
[06:24.890 --> 06:26.530]  Some women it does, some women it doesn't.
[06:27.410 --> 06:32.590]  Pretty much an overall thing I'm going to say for the entire talk here is experiment.
[06:32.590 --> 06:33.550]  Play around.
[06:34.730 --> 06:35.710]  Play around with yourself.
[06:35.990 --> 06:36.670]  Play around with a partner.
[06:36.950 --> 06:38.010]  Play around with multiple partners.
[06:38.550 --> 06:40.490]  Talk to your... talk to your partner.
[06:41.010 --> 06:42.150]  Find out what they like.
[06:42.290 --> 06:42.890]  Try something.
[06:43.050 --> 06:44.410]  If it works, fantastic.
[06:45.070 --> 06:47.130]  If it doesn't work, try something else.
[06:47.330 --> 06:51.270]  It's pretty much like the overall thing I could say if you really want to hack sex well.
[06:51.850 --> 06:54.030]  Just keep trying and find out what works for you.
[06:56.210 --> 07:03.630]  There are also toys that are made specifically to be put up a man's rectum to stimulate the prostate.
[07:04.010 --> 07:05.410]  And okay, before I get anything here.
[07:05.870 --> 07:08.630]  One, anal sex does not make you gay.
[07:09.370 --> 07:10.390]  Absolutely not.
[07:12.130 --> 07:15.710]  Anal sex makes you a human being.
[07:17.430 --> 07:24.170]  Many, many, many, many, many people throughout all of time have put things up their butts and liked it.
[07:25.230 --> 07:30.510]  Women, men, and none of the above have put things up their butts and liked it.
[07:33.050 --> 07:35.770]  The men have the prostate, which... Oh, crap.
[07:35.770 --> 07:37.250]  This room doesn't have a thing to draw on.
[07:37.310 --> 07:37.670]  That's okay.
[07:38.790 --> 07:40.070]  It's inside the anus.
[07:40.410 --> 07:42.030]  It's kind of...
[07:42.510 --> 07:45.250]  Let's say you have a man on... Let's say you have a man on his hands and his knees.
[07:45.270 --> 07:46.010]  It's the easiest way.
[07:46.330 --> 07:49.570]  If I had a guy here... Put your finger... Oh!
[07:49.750 --> 07:50.210]  How about here?
[07:50.310 --> 07:50.930]  Where you can actually hear me.
[07:51.430 --> 07:53.030]  Put your finger in and go like that.
[07:53.790 --> 07:55.490]  Kind of, it's like a... Come here.
[07:55.710 --> 07:56.490]  Motion downwards.
[07:57.350 --> 08:03.930]  Yeah, as I've said once about one of my lovers, you know, if I want to make him calm, you know, we f*ck, we do whatever.
[08:04.250 --> 08:11.050]  If I want to make his eyes roll up in the back of his head and his knees go weak so that he ends up like falling face right on the bed, I put my finger in his ass.
[08:13.250 --> 08:19.690]  Many men have loved prostate stimulation all throughout the ages, and it's something that if you've never played with, I highly recommend.
[08:20.110 --> 08:22.090]  A couple things you need to remember, though, about that.
[08:23.030 --> 08:24.230]  Go very slowly.
[08:24.550 --> 08:25.870]  Start with something small.
[08:25.870 --> 08:28.390]  You're not... Remember that giant butt plug in the center?
[08:28.570 --> 08:28.710]  Yeah.
[08:28.970 --> 08:29.070]  No.
[08:29.270 --> 08:30.430]  That's what it's working up to.
[08:32.890 --> 08:34.050]  Use lots of lube.
[08:34.150 --> 08:35.390]  There's no such thing as too much lube.
[08:35.510 --> 08:38.990]  Well, technically there is, but for the most part, there's no such thing as too much lube.
[08:39.950 --> 08:40.670]  Go slowly.
[08:41.550 --> 08:45.990]  Everything I'm going to be talking about here, I'm going to assume that you're going to use safe sex practices with this.
[08:45.990 --> 08:51.370]  You're going to use barrier methods to keep viruses and diseases from transmitting.
[08:51.710 --> 08:54.010]  I don't have time to go into this in this talk, unfortunately.
[08:54.370 --> 08:57.190]  If any of you have any questions about this, please come up to me.
[08:57.430 --> 08:58.210]  Let me know.
[08:58.410 --> 08:59.350]  I will send you to websites.
[08:59.370 --> 09:02.370]  I will teach you about it because this is something that everybody needs to know.
[09:03.930 --> 09:07.470]  But you can do these things and you can bring about great pleasure in men and women.
[09:07.470 --> 09:10.030]  I also highly recommend... Oh, crap.
[09:10.110 --> 09:10.710]  I'm getting ahead of myself.
[09:10.850 --> 09:11.070]  I'm sorry.
[09:11.710 --> 09:12.150]  Vibrators.
[09:13.410 --> 09:15.350]  There are many types of vibrators out there.
[09:15.710 --> 09:25.410]  And the main two types that I've seen so far have been vibrators that use batteries or vibrators that plug into the wall.
[09:25.750 --> 09:28.510]  The ones that use batteries are usually cheaper.
[09:30.190 --> 09:31.770]  Some people really like them.
[09:32.090 --> 09:34.150]  They have... I think they personally feel more buzzy to me.
[09:34.150 --> 09:40.770]  The ones that plug into the wall have a more... have a more all-over vibrating effect that don't... that isn't so little...
[09:40.770 --> 09:42.650]  It's more like shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.
[09:42.950 --> 09:43.810]  As I once...
[09:43.810 --> 09:44.850]  Kind of like the subway.
[09:45.290 --> 09:46.990]  Kind of like the subway.
[09:49.370 --> 09:49.730]  Yes.
[09:50.030 --> 09:51.090]  Kind of like the subway.
[09:53.490 --> 09:56.430]  As I described it once when I picked up a Hitachi magic wand.
[09:56.870 --> 09:57.850]  I turned it on.
[09:57.930 --> 09:58.710]  I put my hand up against it.
[09:58.790 --> 10:01.530]  I said, f*ck, this thing can shift tectonic plates.
[10:05.750 --> 10:06.630]  There are...
[10:06.630 --> 10:09.950]  Right now I'm going to speak about women and other people with clitorises.
[10:10.430 --> 10:12.230]  There are many women who like...
[10:12.230 --> 10:13.070]  Don't laugh.
[10:13.210 --> 10:14.570]  There are many people of many different genders.
[10:16.030 --> 10:19.450]  There are many, many women who like a specific product.
[10:19.450 --> 10:22.250]  And I'm not picking up looking products, but it's called the Hitachi magic wand.
[10:23.210 --> 10:24.430]  Personal testimony here.
[10:24.570 --> 10:25.510]  I was having...
[10:25.510 --> 10:27.670]  If I was lucky, three orgasms a year.
[10:27.890 --> 10:28.870]  I bought one.
[10:28.990 --> 10:29.910]  I started having one a day.
[10:31.810 --> 10:33.730]  It completely changed my world.
[10:34.810 --> 10:36.990]  I was... became a more relaxed person.
[10:37.310 --> 10:41.230]  I wasn't constantly trying to with my partners always being worried about coming to orgasm.
[10:41.350 --> 10:42.050]  It was wonderful.
[10:42.270 --> 10:44.790]  I highly recommend a Hitachi magic wand to anybody.
[10:44.790 --> 10:47.090]  They run between about 40 and 60 bucks.
[10:47.330 --> 10:49.110]  And they last for about, from what I've heard, 10 years.
[10:49.290 --> 10:54.890]  Women have been using them since, I think, the 1960s or the 1970s to get themselves off.
[10:55.070 --> 10:57.130]  So it's a very tried and true product.
[10:58.450 --> 10:59.090]  Let's see here.
[10:59.190 --> 11:00.950]  Oh, I was going to say about vibrators.
[11:03.370 --> 11:07.870]  Vibration up the anus is a wonderful thing, as I already mentioned for the...
[11:08.490 --> 11:11.910]  As I already mentioned for the... for the prostate.
[11:13.050 --> 11:15.110]  Another thing that's good there, but it's also good for women.
[11:15.370 --> 11:17.290]  Because you get the vibration here.
[11:17.570 --> 11:21.290]  And the... the wall is the same.
[11:21.890 --> 11:23.030]  This side's the vagina.
[11:23.770 --> 11:25.190]  This side's the rectum.
[11:25.350 --> 11:31.370]  So if you have a vibrator up the anus and a vibrator in the vagina, you're vibrating both sides of that wall.
[11:31.590 --> 11:33.230]  And that's a pretty intense feeling.
[11:35.870 --> 11:36.530]  All right.
[11:37.010 --> 11:38.710]  The next thing I'm going to talk about is BDSM.
[11:38.710 --> 11:42.510]  It's a term that's been bandied about for quite a long time.
[11:43.270 --> 11:44.170]  It's an acronym.
[11:44.470 --> 11:45.570]  It stands for many things.
[11:46.190 --> 11:46.870]  Bondage and...
[11:46.870 --> 11:47.370]  I'm sorry.
[11:49.210 --> 11:50.350]  Bondage and discipline.
[11:50.910 --> 11:52.770]  Domination and submission.
[11:53.390 --> 11:54.650]  Sadism and masochism.
[11:55.530 --> 11:57.290]  There are pretty much...
[11:57.290 --> 12:04.880]  There are people basically who lump any kind of play that isn't, quote, normal or vanilla or just plain sex into BDSM.
[12:04.880 --> 12:06.640]  So there are many different types here.
[12:06.720 --> 12:08.880]  I'm just going to broadly cover a number...
[12:09.700 --> 12:12.080]  Just basically lump them into categories.
[12:12.700 --> 12:14.140]  You have sensation play.
[12:15.300 --> 12:16.880]  So where you have things like...
[12:17.880 --> 12:23.560]  You tell your lover to close their eyes and you take a piece of rabbit fur and you rub it over their body and it feels really good.
[12:23.740 --> 12:29.720]  When you close your eyes, you're kind of blocking some of the input so that you could focus more on what's happening on your body.
[12:30.940 --> 12:38.220]  You could take an ice cube and if their eyes closed, touch it here and maybe touch it on their leg and touch it here and they don't know where it's coming next.
[12:39.740 --> 12:40.960]  Pleasurable sensation play.
[12:41.080 --> 12:42.640]  There's also painful sensation play.
[12:43.380 --> 12:46.980]  I will get more into pain for pleasure later.
[12:48.180 --> 12:50.140]  But there's pain for the sake of pain.
[12:50.300 --> 12:52.240]  People who genuinely like pain.
[12:52.360 --> 12:53.580]  Their brains are just wired this way.
[12:53.580 --> 12:59.840]  And then there's pain that is used in a way to release endorphins to make it feel really, really good.
[13:00.900 --> 13:07.340]  A very good example of painful sensation play I can recommend or just pull off the top of my head is something called a Wartenberg wheel.
[13:08.160 --> 13:08.580]  It's...
[13:09.080 --> 13:10.080]  Oh, excuse me.
[13:11.000 --> 13:12.940]  It's basically a little handle.
[13:13.120 --> 13:19.860]  It's something that's used by the medical profession to test nerve sensitivity and to see if there's any kind of nerve damage.
[13:19.980 --> 13:20.540]  It's a pinwheel.
[13:20.540 --> 13:22.920]  It's really, really, really, really spiky on the end.
[13:22.960 --> 13:23.480]  The little spikes.
[13:23.700 --> 13:23.960]  It's about...
[13:23.960 --> 13:25.060]  The pinwheel's about...
[13:25.060 --> 13:26.540]  Big around a quarter, I'd say.
[13:27.300 --> 13:30.640]  And you could run it over your lover's body and it makes little prickles all over.
[13:32.000 --> 13:34.260]  Another form of BDSM is impact play.
[13:34.400 --> 13:40.320]  We're talking about things like spankings, paddlings, floggings, things like this.
[13:40.800 --> 13:42.620]  I said I'd go back to pain for pleasure.
[13:43.680 --> 13:46.200]  What happens in the body is...
[13:47.800 --> 13:57.180]  Any time any kind of injury is sent to the body, whether you're doing BDSM or you just stub your toe, your body immediately sends out endorphins.
[13:57.320 --> 14:02.040]  And it starts sending out endorphins so that the pain doesn't hurt as much, or at least it doesn't feel like it hurts as much.
[14:02.520 --> 14:09.640]  And this is a lot of what BDSM uses to bring the pleasure about in your body.
[14:09.640 --> 14:13.960]  It's something that kinksters use and they use it to their advantage.
[14:14.940 --> 14:17.120]  Another form here is electrical play.
[14:18.000 --> 14:19.500]  Using electricity to simulate the body.
[14:19.620 --> 14:23.080]  And I'll admit this is not something I know much about because personally it's really not my cup of tea.
[14:23.580 --> 14:27.120]  But there's something called a violet wand and it's a machine.
[14:27.480 --> 14:29.580]  And there's like a glass tube that comes out of it.
[14:29.640 --> 14:31.020]  And sometimes it has a ball on the end.
[14:31.280 --> 14:34.060]  And what goes on in the tube looks a lot like a plasma lamp.
[14:34.060 --> 14:40.580]  And it's purple and it causes mild shocking sensations on the body where you touch it.
[14:40.880 --> 14:44.440]  There's also an adapter that you can put onto it that then you can use it.
[14:44.560 --> 14:46.540]  You can put like the paddle...
[14:46.540 --> 14:48.080]  Sorry, I can't stand by the mic.
[14:48.260 --> 14:52.380]  You can put the paddle like here on the side of your body and then you become the violet wand.
[14:52.480 --> 14:56.780]  And then you can touch them and it gives little sensations out of your fingers or wherever you touch them at.
[14:58.060 --> 14:59.060]  It is pretty cool.
[15:00.740 --> 15:02.760]  I am a kinky person myself.
[15:02.760 --> 15:06.520]  I go to the clubs and it's really cool to watch people play with it.
[15:06.800 --> 15:13.120]  Sometimes they'll also find like all sorts of interesting things that they'll use that conduct electricity for this.
[15:13.280 --> 15:16.300]  You'll find like little metallic pom-poms people will use.
[15:16.440 --> 15:19.860]  And they'll just kind of run it over someone's body and you see the little shocks going off.
[15:20.020 --> 15:20.600]  It's so neat.
[15:22.120 --> 15:23.760]  There's something called a TENS unit.
[15:24.860 --> 15:26.700]  I don't know much about TENS units.
[15:26.800 --> 15:30.340]  I believe that they send current to the muscles, muscle stimulation.
[15:30.340 --> 15:35.020]  And I'm sure that with enough study out here that a number of electrical engineers could probably build one themselves.
[15:35.220 --> 15:39.280]  If you're interested in this, there's a fabulous book on this called The Toy Bag Guide to High Tech Toys.
[15:39.680 --> 15:41.760]  Highly recommend it in the rest of the Toy Bag series.
[15:42.900 --> 15:44.800]  Alright, moving on to body modifications.
[15:45.100 --> 15:50.060]  Now, people have been modifying their bodies for thousands of years for a wide number of reasons.
[15:50.060 --> 15:57.140]  Just from the amount of tattoos and piercings and people with funny colored hair that I've seen so far.
[15:57.240 --> 16:02.960]  Obviously, you guys are well aware of the different reasons that people might modify their body.
[16:03.160 --> 16:07.020]  For beauty, for pleasure, for some kind of ritual purpose.
[16:08.540 --> 16:11.140]  People will get piercings for increased sensitivity.
[16:11.900 --> 16:18.580]  Popular places for this are the nipples, the labia, the clitoral hood, and various parts of the penis.
[16:18.580 --> 16:22.380]  And the people who get these piercings definitely do...
[16:22.380 --> 16:31.320]  Some people say that it actually decreased their sensitivity, but I've found that there are more people who say that they got piercings, especially in their nipples, and it really increased the sensitivity that they felt.
[16:31.480 --> 16:34.460]  And they can twist them a little, tug on them, pull them a little.
[16:34.600 --> 16:39.740]  Maybe a partner will take their teeth and kind of grab onto the ring and just, you know, mess with it a bit.
[16:40.320 --> 16:41.960]  Kind of like a dog turning on a bone a little.
[16:44.700 --> 16:48.320]  There are people who will do... and this is more advanced BDSM.
[16:48.320 --> 16:53.360]  People who will do cuttings, using scalpels to put different designs on the body.
[16:53.780 --> 16:57.740]  They will do scarifications, which where they will do cuttings multiple times.
[16:58.080 --> 17:03.640]  So that intentionally leaves a scar, or they might mess with the scar a little bit, but in that you really have to be careful so that it doesn't get infected.
[17:04.300 --> 17:07.420]  And there are people who do brandings, yes, with a hot branding iron.
[17:07.580 --> 17:16.280]  A lot of these are done by people who consider themselves urban primitives, or other forms of, like, neo-tribal type stuff.
[17:16.440 --> 17:22.720]  A lot of these are done in the situation of a specific kind of ritual kind of environment.
[17:23.340 --> 17:26.960]  However, there is a form of body mod that is a temporary one.
[17:27.020 --> 17:28.800]  And it's called... it's known as play piercing.
[17:29.620 --> 17:36.000]  It is where the body is pierced with hypodermic needles of whatever width you want to use.
[17:36.000 --> 17:40.380]  And it is used to... specifically to pull out that endorphin response.
[17:40.860 --> 17:42.080]  I personally have done it.
[17:42.480 --> 17:50.340]  And I will say that it is... it is one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had in my entire life.
[17:50.520 --> 17:52.060]  And it is one that I will do again and again.
[17:52.400 --> 17:53.340]  It sounds scary.
[17:53.680 --> 17:56.180]  It's all done right on the surface of your skin.
[17:57.020 --> 17:58.440]  It doesn't really go deep at all.
[17:59.320 --> 18:01.320]  It's nothing like getting a shot at the doctor.
[18:01.500 --> 18:03.940]  I hate getting blood or getting a shot at the doctor.
[18:03.940 --> 18:04.960]  It's not like that.
[18:05.060 --> 18:05.680]  Oh, it's horrible.
[18:06.000 --> 18:10.600]  But this is wonderful because of the specific kind of trauma that it does to your body.
[18:10.740 --> 18:13.240]  It really, really kicks in the endorphins.
[18:13.400 --> 18:14.920]  And I call it flying.
[18:15.320 --> 18:20.640]  It's... it's better than any kind of... of any kind of drug I've been on, illicit or illicit.
[18:21.520 --> 18:23.060]  It's absolutely fantastic.
[18:26.660 --> 18:28.440]  It's... I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought there.
[18:28.540 --> 18:29.280]  Excuse me for a second.
[18:37.390 --> 18:39.970]  It's something that you would definitely need to do with someone who...
[18:39.970 --> 18:43.530]  who is an experienced peer or something that you'd want to learn from someone who knows what they're doing.
[18:43.690 --> 18:45.570]  Because obviously there are risks involved.
[18:45.850 --> 18:48.290]  And you can hurt... you can actually damage yourself.
[18:48.410 --> 18:51.190]  You can cause harm instead of just what we know is hurt.
[18:52.690 --> 18:57.250]  However, I have to admit, the times I've done it, it's always funny that I'm doing it in a sexual environment.
[18:57.430 --> 19:00.770]  It feels like I should be doing it in an environment where people are exploring different states of mind.
[19:00.770 --> 19:05.410]  Whether through... whether through altered mind states through drugs or through meditation.
[19:05.810 --> 19:07.850]  But I mean, that's just the kind of altered mind state.
[19:07.990 --> 19:09.110]  It is that extreme.
[19:09.490 --> 19:11.430]  Some people it does it for them, some people it doesn't.
[19:11.550 --> 19:18.290]  But I have to say, of all the... pretty much of all the hacks I have on here, this is probably one of the most extreme hacks I have for pleasure, is play piercing.
[19:18.290 --> 19:27.710]  When I was preparing this, my housemate... my housemate was... I was talking to my lover, giving the presentation, and my housemate was there in the house.
[19:27.870 --> 19:32.370]  He came over and he's like, yeah, I only did it once, but my god, it was absolutely amazing.
[19:32.690 --> 19:35.090]  So, I'm not... personally not the only person who does this.
[19:36.090 --> 19:39.210]  There's also then, tele and technodildonics.
[19:39.470 --> 19:41.150]  Teledildonics is pretty much what everyone else calls it.
[19:41.370 --> 19:50.830]  I prefer to call it technodildonics, because not all of them deal with telephony, not all of the different types of high-tech sex toys deal with something with the Internet.
[19:51.010 --> 19:52.070]  But there are ones that do.
[19:54.550 --> 20:11.030]  There's one called the Oh My Bod, and there's one that's called the iVibe, which you plug into your iPod or other MP3 player or other music player, and it basically takes the music and will vibrate in time with the music and work with the music that you're listening to.
[20:11.290 --> 20:12.230]  And we'll do that.
[20:12.810 --> 20:15.670]  There's one called the Juju and the Sassy.
[20:17.270 --> 20:21.130]  And actually, I just got a chance to read the instruction manual for this one today.
[20:21.250 --> 20:27.570]  But what they will do is, they have specific settings, and you can download settings for them from the Internet.
[20:27.810 --> 20:29.230]  They're not... these ones don't just vibrate.
[20:29.310 --> 20:35.030]  They also have some, like, a little nebula inside, and you can have it kind of move in different patterns depending.
[20:35.610 --> 20:39.730]  And what's really cool about it is there is a learning mode, and it will learn what you like.
[20:41.030 --> 20:47.930]  And by... it will do something, and if you like it, you can tell it to stop there, and they're like, keep doing it, and don't stop.
[20:48.270 --> 20:52.110]  You can tell it to move on... or you can tell it to move on to the next one if you don't like what it's doing.
[20:52.290 --> 20:55.770]  And it will remember this, and it will put it into a favorites... kind of a favorites mode.
[20:55.890 --> 20:57.530]  And then you can throw into that... no, I'm serious.
[20:57.630 --> 20:58.690]  That's actually what it's called.
[20:58.690 --> 21:00.050]  It's called the favorites!
[21:01.150 --> 21:07.830]  And the next thing you turn on, you can tell it to go into favorites mode, and it will do the last five things that you did whenever put it into the favorites mode.
[21:09.890 --> 21:21.550]  Also, you can email, and you can... when you download these different patterns, you can also have somebody else go on the website, create a pattern thing for you, and they can email them to you, and then you can download them onto your vibrator.
[21:25.430 --> 21:26.350]  No, not Bluetooth.
[21:26.550 --> 21:35.970]  I'm actually going to mention that because if anyone had just heard Render Man's talk over there, he was talking about a Bluetooth vibrator and the different ways that you could totally pwn this and how we need to have greater security in it.
[21:37.790 --> 21:40.510]  And he brought up some highly fascinating points.
[21:40.830 --> 21:53.090]  He brought up the point of let's say someone's Bluetooth vibrator is open and you go ahead and you hack it and you send them stuff and they'll go home and they'll say, hey honey, I really like that thing you did at 4 p.m. yesterday.
[21:53.650 --> 21:56.310]  And like, I didn't do anything at 4 p.m.
[21:57.470 --> 21:59.810]  And it starts bringing about interesting ethical questions.
[22:01.490 --> 22:04.910]  Some of the... Render said that he didn't think it was such a good idea to do this.
[22:04.990 --> 22:08.870]  I personally think that wireless stuff is just fine as long as we secure it.
[22:09.330 --> 22:12.050]  And you know, the people do a really good job of securing it down.
[22:12.190 --> 22:17.810]  But he brought up fascinating and wonderful points and certainly you definitely want to talk to him if you want to talk more about that.
[22:19.190 --> 22:22.770]  There was something called... there is a game put out.
[22:23.130 --> 22:24.890]  I'm sure one of you guys can correct me on this.
[22:25.110 --> 22:26.010]  Guys or girls, sorry.
[22:26.910 --> 22:28.470]  It's the... it was called Rez.
[22:28.570 --> 22:29.790]  Did anybody here ever play Rez?
[22:31.930 --> 22:33.410]  What systems was Rez for?
[22:34.810 --> 22:35.170]  Dreamcast.
[22:36.470 --> 22:38.170]  Okay, Dreamcast and PS2.
[22:39.270 --> 22:40.030]  Was it for the Xbox?
[22:40.210 --> 22:41.210]  Okay, it was also for the Xbox.
[22:41.350 --> 22:43.570]  Well, something you could buy for it was called the Rez Transvibrator.
[22:43.690 --> 22:46.590]  Rez was one of... I'm guessing... I think it was one of the first rhythm games.
[22:46.590 --> 22:53.970]  And there was just this little box that you could plug in and if you... as you did things in Rez, you could make the little box pulse and vibrate.
[22:54.150 --> 22:57.070]  And this was a commercially produced toy and I'm like...
[22:58.470 --> 23:02.690]  They're making a commercial vibrator for an already known system.
[23:02.810 --> 23:04.030]  This is absolutely wonderful.
[23:04.390 --> 23:05.230]  I tried it once.
[23:05.250 --> 23:06.470]  Personally, it wasn't my cup of tea.
[23:07.250 --> 23:09.130]  But there are many people who really liked this.
[23:09.290 --> 23:13.050]  There are... there's also, um... f*cking machines, like the Sibian.
[23:13.950 --> 23:17.190]  If you're really interested in f*cking machines... unfortunately, I really have to get moving here.
[23:17.370 --> 23:20.950]  If you're interested in f*cking machines, I highly recommend fuckingmachines.com.
[23:22.930 --> 23:24.390]  Seriously, fuckingmachines.com.
[23:24.570 --> 23:31.030]  This really isn't... this isn't my big field, but my lover is actually... this is... he's also a sexual researcher and educator in some ways.
[23:31.030 --> 23:33.830]  And this is one of these big fields where he was telling me about stuff like this.
[23:34.290 --> 23:37.690]  And he's... and I think something that I saw on the website was the guy was like...
[23:37.690 --> 23:39.670]  I was a banker, and this was my hobby.
[23:39.950 --> 23:41.370]  And then I realized I could make money at this.
[23:41.570 --> 23:43.430]  And now I'm making money at this!
[23:43.530 --> 23:44.470]  This is amazing, you know.
[23:44.610 --> 23:46.690]  Like, this is my job, and I... do this.
[23:46.790 --> 23:48.650]  There are many different types of f*cking machines you can make.
[23:48.750 --> 23:49.870]  There are homemade f*cking machines.
[23:49.970 --> 23:52.150]  There's a wonderful book just called F*cking Machines.
[23:52.250 --> 23:53.850]  It's all about people's homemade f*cking machines.
[23:54.350 --> 24:02.150]  And people... there are people who are, like, a farmer from Minnesota who, Who, after a long day in the field, comes home and works on this f*cking machine that he made out of an old mixer.
[24:03.510 --> 24:09.110]  It's fabulous, the things that people are doing with technology nowadays and sex.
[24:10.890 --> 24:12.490]  There's one called the Sinulator.
[24:13.790 --> 24:17.030]  This is one that... this one is actually Internet enabled.
[24:18.210 --> 24:19.010]  It's wireless.
[24:20.110 --> 24:21.730]  You pick out a name for it.
[24:21.950 --> 24:23.990]  You then give that name to whomever you want.
[24:24.430 --> 24:25.570]  They don't need to know your email.
[24:25.690 --> 24:26.790]  They don't need to know anything about you.
[24:26.890 --> 24:27.570]  Or they can.
[24:27.930 --> 24:31.230]  And you just give them the name of what you've named your Sinulator toy.
[24:31.790 --> 24:37.010]  And they can go onto the website, log in, use this name, and there's a control panel that...
[24:37.010 --> 24:39.790]  If the screenshot I saw was correct, it looks a lot like a race car.
[24:40.310 --> 24:41.130]  It's kind of funny, that.
[24:42.030 --> 24:46.770]  And you can control the Sinulator remotely from, you know, wherever you want on the Internet, halfway around the world.
[24:48.110 --> 24:54.410]  There's one called the Thrill Hammer, which looks pretty much like a dentist chair with stirrups, with a f*cking thing that goes in and out.
[24:54.650 --> 24:55.910]  This one's really expensive, though.
[24:55.910 --> 25:00.290]  It's like, I think they said they can go up to $15,000 on the really high end.
[25:00.470 --> 25:02.190]  The low end model was $1,200.
[25:03.010 --> 25:04.630]  So, you're talking expensive here.
[25:04.730 --> 25:07.450]  But if this is your thing, like I said, fuckingmachines.com is for you.
[25:07.450 --> 25:20.030]  There's also real dolls, which earlier today, there was actually on the screen, downstairs in the mezzanine, there was a video about men and their real dolls.
[25:20.250 --> 25:26.870]  It's a highly, highly accurate model of men or women.
[25:26.990 --> 25:28.210]  Most of them are women.
[25:28.530 --> 25:29.870]  You can get them highly customized.
[25:29.870 --> 25:33.210]  They are made out of... they are made with silicon skin.
[25:33.530 --> 25:37.010]  And they're pretty much as close as you can get to a real human without being a real human these days.
[25:38.670 --> 25:43.290]  But the techno... the techno and techno dildomics part comes in with the higher end models.
[25:43.590 --> 25:45.130]  We'll have little sensors on their body.
[25:45.270 --> 25:52.710]  And if you do things to certain parts, if you touch them in certain ways, it then elicits a response that makes a certain type of sound, a certain kind of reaction from them.
[25:53.890 --> 25:55.290]  Okay, let's see here.
[25:55.650 --> 25:56.430]  Where's my mouse?
[25:56.750 --> 25:57.610]  I don't have a mouse.
[25:57.750 --> 25:58.050]  Hold on.
[25:59.510 --> 26:01.690]  So that's pretty much all I have right now for body hacking.
[26:01.810 --> 26:02.670]  I'm going to go on to the mind hacking.
[26:02.810 --> 26:03.610]  Do I have any questions yet?
[26:05.130 --> 26:05.910]  Questions, please?
[26:06.350 --> 26:06.590]  Someone?
[26:06.770 --> 26:07.430]  Okay, over there.
[26:07.850 --> 26:10.730]  If you could please step up to the mic somewhere around here.
[26:10.830 --> 26:11.530]  I'm not exactly sure.
[26:11.610 --> 26:12.890]  I can't see because the lights are in my eyes.
[26:15.630 --> 26:18.750]  Yeah, can you recommend a good tech manual for play piercing?
[26:19.330 --> 26:21.130]  A good tech manual for play piercing?
[26:21.510 --> 26:22.410]  Yes, I can.
[26:22.410 --> 26:26.830]  I believe it's just called play piercing, but I definitely know it's by a person named Deborah Addington.
[26:27.030 --> 26:29.450]  In fact, it might be the only manual out there on play piercing.
[26:29.970 --> 26:35.830]  But play piercing is something that... read the manual, but I highly, highly recommend you find someone else to teach you this.
[26:36.570 --> 26:40.150]  Because it's just something that, if it goes wrong, it can go pretty badly wrong.
[26:41.190 --> 26:41.870]  Anything else?
[26:42.490 --> 26:42.930]  Yeah.
[26:44.230 --> 26:44.870]  Go ahead.
[26:45.230 --> 26:45.670]  Please.
[26:46.350 --> 26:55.790]  We just recently got a Wii and my husband found a homebrew Wii vibrator program for the Wii.
[26:55.890 --> 26:56.030]  Excellent.
[26:56.030 --> 26:58.030]  So it makes your... Excellent.
[26:58.210 --> 26:59.950]  ...written remote into a vibrator.
[27:00.110 --> 27:00.470]  Wonderful.
[27:00.770 --> 27:03.170]  And it goes perfectly with the Wii condoms.
[27:03.690 --> 27:04.270]  Wonderful.
[27:04.510 --> 27:05.310]  Hey, that's fantastic.
[27:08.230 --> 27:09.550]  Oh, and one more thing about this.
[27:09.910 --> 27:16.170]  I have to admit, I've been so busy, I don't remember the person who suggested this to me, but someone's like, I have the best idea.
[27:16.830 --> 27:22.610]  You take a Tickle Me Elmo, and you take the Tickle Me part out of it, and you take a vibrator.
[27:23.630 --> 27:24.070]  Well...
[27:27.590 --> 27:28.470]  That tickles.
[27:35.450 --> 27:37.210]  And if you can get it to vibrate...
[27:39.250 --> 27:40.730]  The Tickle Me Dildo.
[27:46.920 --> 27:48.340]  Alright, what's my time?
[27:48.560 --> 27:49.560]  Okay, I'm looking pretty good here.
[27:49.620 --> 27:50.400]  I'm at 9.30.
[27:50.920 --> 27:52.320]  Alright, mind hacking.
[27:53.580 --> 27:55.400]  First thing I'm going to talk about in mind hacking is...
[27:55.400 --> 27:57.580]  Whoops, let me get my thing back around here so I can actually see it.
[27:58.320 --> 27:58.760]  Come here, you.
[28:00.000 --> 28:00.560]  There you are.
[28:00.940 --> 28:01.440]  Thank you.
[28:02.020 --> 28:03.740]  First thing I'm going to talk about is erotic hypnosis.
[28:04.940 --> 28:05.720]  First couple things.
[28:05.940 --> 28:07.460]  Yes, hypnosis is real.
[28:08.300 --> 28:09.020]  In 2000...
[28:09.020 --> 28:12.460]  The people have been getting into hypnotic states for years and years and years.
[28:12.560 --> 28:14.760]  However, the scientific...
[28:14.760 --> 28:26.300]  The scientific part, they figured out in 2004, a research team in the UK discovered that people in hypnosis should increase activity in multiple areas of the brain including the left frontal lobe and the anterior cingulate gyrus.
[28:26.520 --> 28:28.860]  Don't know what that means, but there's your research.
[28:29.080 --> 28:31.240]  I have a link if you want to go and find out more.
[28:31.380 --> 28:32.540]  So yes, hypnosis is real.
[28:33.520 --> 28:33.960]  No...
[28:33.960 --> 28:34.620]  People can't...
[28:34.620 --> 28:37.480]  People won't make you do anything that you don't want to do in hypnosis.
[28:37.480 --> 28:40.620]  However, you are definitely more open to suggestion.
[28:40.840 --> 28:41.640]  You're definitely more...
[28:41.640 --> 28:43.160]  Okay, yeah, I'll do that.
[28:43.300 --> 28:43.960]  Yeah, okay, that's okay.
[28:44.160 --> 28:44.580]  Yeah, sure.
[28:45.080 --> 28:51.460]  But usually not to the point of if it's something that's totally against something you'd want to do, you'll have what's known as an ab reaction and you will come out of hypnosis.
[28:52.820 --> 28:54.340]  All hypnosis is self-hypnosis.
[28:54.500 --> 28:56.340]  No one can make you become hypnotized.
[28:56.500 --> 28:57.900]  And hypnosis is not sleep.
[28:58.240 --> 28:59.000]  It doesn't...
[28:59.000 --> 29:00.360]  You are aware of what's going on.
[29:00.380 --> 29:02.580]  I know this because I've been hypnotized a number of times myself.
[29:03.040 --> 29:05.280]  You are certainly aware of what's going on around you.
[29:05.620 --> 29:08.480]  It's just usually you feel a more pleasant sensation.
[29:09.360 --> 29:12.940]  Erotic hypnosis can be used in many, many different ways.
[29:13.360 --> 29:16.560]  There are people who are simply turned on by the idea of being hypnotized.
[29:16.660 --> 29:18.420]  So if you've got that going for you, great.
[29:18.580 --> 29:19.000]  There you go.
[29:19.080 --> 29:19.780]  You've already got it.
[29:19.940 --> 29:25.920]  If that's not your thing, hypnosis can be used to play back any sensation that pretty much anyone has already had.
[29:27.880 --> 29:31.020]  Whether it's in the form of a hallucination.
[29:31.020 --> 29:33.080]  Well, we think of, you know, hallucinations seeing things.
[29:33.260 --> 29:35.220]  It can also be feeling things.
[29:35.460 --> 29:37.360]  It can be hearing things.
[29:37.720 --> 29:41.540]  It can be a wide number of, you know, any of your senses.
[29:42.080 --> 29:49.340]  So erotic hypnosis can be used to increase people's pleasure by saying, you know, when I touch...
[29:49.340 --> 29:50.180]  You could do something...
[29:50.180 --> 29:57.380]  You could, after putting someone into hypnosis by using what's known as an induction, you can say, you know, when I touch you here, you're going to feel the...
[29:57.380 --> 29:59.740]  You know, you're going to feel pleasure and you're going to feel it tenfold.
[29:59.740 --> 30:02.800]  And every time that I do this, you're going to feel it tenfold more and tenfold more.
[30:04.720 --> 30:08.520]  You can use erotic hypnosis to...
[30:09.620 --> 30:10.860]  I'm sorry, I just blacked out.
[30:10.940 --> 30:11.360]  Hold on a second.
[30:14.740 --> 30:22.480]  You can use erotic hypnosis in ways you can use it that if you train someone, if you use it long enough and you can train people, you can make them come on command.
[30:23.200 --> 30:25.600]  Or you can make them not come on command.
[30:26.240 --> 30:29.980]  You can deny them that and make them keep feeling pleasure until you're ready to give them orgasm.
[30:30.800 --> 30:36.240]  Also, as I said before when I talked about play piercing, erotic hypnosis is something I've learned about recently, I have to admit.
[30:37.160 --> 30:40.780]  About four months ago I met my current lover who is into erotic hypnosis and he's taught me this.
[30:41.020 --> 30:47.040]  And he also has a friend of his who is a certified hypnotherapist who we've been talking with and stuff like that.
[30:48.960 --> 30:50.440]  No, simply talking with.
[30:52.700 --> 30:57.480]  And this is probably one of the other greatest hacks I've ever felt for hacking for pleasure.
[30:57.480 --> 31:07.800]  The things you can do with this with the mind when it's been, I guess, probably trained isn't the word I'd use, but when you're probably put in hypnosis and you're put in deep enough, it is mind-blowing.
[31:10.380 --> 31:12.620]  Going back to BDSM, other forms of it.
[31:13.440 --> 31:23.640]  You can use power exchange, which is a way of when you take one person and you give them more control of the situation, you take control away from the other person.
[31:24.120 --> 31:26.780]  The traditional form of this is a master-slave type thing.
[31:26.780 --> 31:30.960]  Or a dominant submissive, but there are many different forms of this if those aren't your thing.
[31:31.180 --> 31:32.640]  Personally, I'm not into master-slave.
[31:34.340 --> 31:37.020]  There, you can be pet or owner.
[31:37.720 --> 31:41.180]  You can be pretty much anything that you can come up with.
[31:41.300 --> 31:46.360]  And this is, for people who are wired this way, this can be a very, very highly erotic thing.
[31:47.020 --> 31:49.980]  Once again, try things.
[31:50.960 --> 31:51.340]  Practice.
[31:51.840 --> 31:52.480]  Do stuff.
[31:52.640 --> 31:53.160]  If it works, great.
[31:53.260 --> 31:53.920]  If it doesn't, move on.
[31:55.060 --> 31:59.900]  Another thing that I'm going to cover is what's known in the BDSM community as mindf*ck.
[32:00.160 --> 32:05.340]  The best way you can put mindf*ck in, you guys will get this because you're hackers, it's basically social engineering the brain for sex.
[32:06.280 --> 32:08.140]  It's the best way I can put it.
[32:08.520 --> 32:11.700]  There's a form of BDSM play which is known as blade play.
[32:12.100 --> 32:14.000]  You usually don't cut people with it.
[32:14.060 --> 32:21.580]  It's usually just used as a threat so that people will react erotically to the fear and maybe the touch of the cold seal on their body.
[32:21.580 --> 32:25.220]  So, you take somebody and, you know, you tie them up.
[32:25.860 --> 32:29.940]  You take out a really big, scary, scary knife.
[32:29.960 --> 32:31.960]  And you're like, I'm going to use this on you.
[32:32.120 --> 32:33.400]  And then you blindfold them.
[32:33.820 --> 32:36.260]  And then, you don't let them hear you putting the knife down.
[32:36.880 --> 32:38.240]  And you take a credit card.
[32:41.060 --> 32:42.860]  Or, I went to Crate and Barrel.
[32:42.920 --> 32:43.860]  I got a pot scraper.
[32:43.860 --> 32:44.860]  It was about two dollars.
[32:46.360 --> 32:49.160]  And you run this over their body properly, you know.
[32:49.160 --> 32:53.160]  And they think you're using that scary, scary, crazy knife.
[32:53.440 --> 32:55.700]  No, you're using a plastic pot scraper.
[32:55.800 --> 32:56.740]  You got a Crate and Barrel.
[32:58.760 --> 33:00.600]  This is a form of mindf*ck.
[33:00.740 --> 33:03.380]  Mindf*ck is an incredibly creative thing.
[33:03.520 --> 33:09.040]  I mean, you can just use your brain and come up with just about anything you can think of for mindf*ck.
[33:09.180 --> 33:13.360]  I read an example of somebody who is into VOR, which is the idea of being...
[33:14.060 --> 33:16.120]  They are turned on by the idea of being eaten.
[33:18.540 --> 33:19.800]  Not eaten out, eaten.
[33:21.860 --> 33:27.420]  And there was a lot of mindf*ck used in a scene where they were being cooked and they were basted.
[33:27.520 --> 33:31.620]  But what they were basted with was liquid latex, which is something that you can paint on people's bodies and cover them up with.
[33:31.840 --> 33:33.140]  And it was the color of their skin.
[33:33.520 --> 33:35.380]  And they put on multiple layers on the person.
[33:36.860 --> 33:41.640]  And usually when you do liquid latex, you want to cover someone in oil so that it comes off easy and doesn't stick to your hairs.
[33:41.640 --> 33:43.100]  But they didn't do this.
[33:43.320 --> 33:50.820]  So then later when they were done, when they carved this person up for eating, they then took a knife and they cut the liquid latex off their skin.
[33:51.000 --> 33:56.740]  And it kind of pulled up their hairs a bit so they felt like they were being, you know, cut open and skinned like that prepared for eating.
[33:56.900 --> 33:58.780]  And apparently this just sent them through the roof.
[33:59.260 --> 34:00.640]  This is another form of mindf*ck.
[34:00.640 --> 34:02.880]  Obviously they're not actually preparing this person to being eaten.
[34:03.480 --> 34:05.500]  But it tapped into the right point in their psyche.
[34:05.720 --> 34:06.940]  And it worked for them.
[34:07.280 --> 34:10.540]  So mindf*ck pretty much is just the social engineering of sex.
[34:12.200 --> 34:14.880]  Something that I'm going to mention here about BDSM, there's something called headspace.
[34:15.080 --> 34:16.880]  This is basically the...
[34:17.860 --> 34:28.300]  Headspace would probably be the BDSM equivalent of hypnosis or of a meditative trance state.
[34:28.300 --> 34:30.420]  It's when your brain gets into that zone.
[34:30.640 --> 34:32.920]  For people who are submissive, they'll call it subspace.
[34:33.040 --> 34:36.640]  For people who are dominant, they'll call it like top space or dom space.
[34:36.960 --> 34:39.700]  And this is pretty much the main place of...
[34:39.700 --> 34:40.800]  You'll just...
[34:40.800 --> 34:42.980]  It feels different for different people.
[34:43.120 --> 34:44.720]  I don't know if there is...
[34:44.720 --> 34:46.800]  And it has been any kind of scientific study on this.
[34:47.060 --> 34:49.660]  Because it's really hard to get scientific studies on sex oftentimes.
[34:50.900 --> 34:54.640]  But, you know, there are so many BDSM practitioners who will say, yes, no, this is real.
[34:54.720 --> 34:56.180]  And this is how it feels for me.
[34:57.380 --> 34:58.980]  Headspace is this main place of BDSM.
[34:59.000 --> 35:03.600]  And I'm bringing this up because I'm about to go into the sexual spiritual thing.
[35:04.200 --> 35:08.100]  There are many, many different paths that have some form of sexual spirituality.
[35:09.560 --> 35:12.080]  There's tantric sex, which I'm sure you may have heard of already.
[35:12.680 --> 35:13.680]  There are pagan.
[35:14.060 --> 35:18.200]  There are different types of pagan that deal with some kind of sexual spiritual thing.
[35:18.320 --> 35:19.480]  There's a static Christian.
[35:19.480 --> 35:26.140]  And pretty much most religions, sometimes it's not something you hear about very much, will have some form of this.
[35:27.480 --> 35:32.740]  I mentioned before headspace, and I did this because, personally, I've had spiritual and meditative mindspace.
[35:32.940 --> 35:36.040]  It feels very similar to the same BDSM headspace.
[35:36.180 --> 35:38.580]  I've been in... I was raised Catholic, and I've been in church before.
[35:38.860 --> 35:42.980]  And I've been praying, and I just go into this place with my head, and I'm like, you know what?
[35:42.980 --> 35:45.240]  This feels a lot like being in subspace.
[35:45.400 --> 35:46.340]  Huh, that's interesting.
[35:48.760 --> 35:50.820]  Especially from the people who are like...
[35:50.820 --> 35:54.460]  Especially from the people who are like, oh, you know, you can't...
[35:54.460 --> 35:58.940]  You know, we do BDSM, and we're better than this, you know.
[35:59.100 --> 36:03.260]  And people go to church, and they sit there, and they have a man in a robe, give them a cracker and stuff.
[36:03.320 --> 36:08.320]  And I'm like, okay, I'm doing that man in a robe and a cracker thing, and I'm feeling the same thing I feel in BDSM.
[36:08.980 --> 36:12.800]  Okay, obviously there are just many different paths to the same kind of feeling good.
[36:12.900 --> 36:14.520]  And that's kind of what my talk's about, obviously.
[36:15.840 --> 36:19.780]  And there's also the idea of spiritual experience as sexual experience.
[36:19.880 --> 36:21.940]  As I just described, this was...
[36:22.840 --> 36:27.100]  When I'm in church and this happens to me, it is a similar headspace.
[36:27.360 --> 36:29.840]  And you can... there are many ways of feeling good.
[36:29.920 --> 36:32.780]  And my talk isn't just about sexual pleasure, it's about all different types of pleasure.
[36:33.240 --> 36:34.460]  And this is another one of that.
[36:34.560 --> 36:37.860]  I'll be honest, this has never been a really big field of study for me.
[36:37.860 --> 36:40.780]  If you're interested in this, I can give you links at other places to go to.
[36:41.220 --> 36:42.600]  People who are really into this.
[36:44.180 --> 36:46.040]  Next, we have sexual role play.
[36:46.640 --> 36:48.980]  I have two really good notes here on sexual role play.
[36:49.060 --> 36:50.560]  And I think I'm just going to read them directly out loud.
[36:50.940 --> 36:56.480]  I put, by letting yourself be someone else, you can step into their sexual experiences and feel things from a different point of view.
[36:57.320 --> 37:01.480]  And by letting yourself be someone else, you can experience some of your greatest fantasies.
[37:02.260 --> 37:07.500]  Sexual role play is something I have an incredible amount of experience with because it's something I've done since my first sexual experiences.
[37:09.020 --> 37:15.960]  And the best thing that I can do to people recommend is sit down, think about some of the things that are your fantasies.
[37:16.100 --> 37:18.420]  Think about the things, possibly the things you masturbate to.
[37:19.380 --> 37:21.440]  Find a partner who's willing to do this.
[37:21.560 --> 37:22.640]  Ask them what their fantasies are.
[37:22.760 --> 37:25.160]  See where they interact and try them out together.
[37:25.800 --> 37:27.640]  First couple times you do it, you might feel a little silly.
[37:27.640 --> 37:29.720]  It's okay to feel silly, it's okay to laugh.
[37:29.920 --> 37:31.580]  I mean, people take sex so seriously.
[37:32.540 --> 37:33.540]  It's nothing serious.
[37:33.800 --> 37:34.600]  Laugh, it's okay.
[37:34.840 --> 37:37.840]  Get it out of your system and then just try to get yourself back into that head space.
[37:38.080 --> 37:40.160]  There's as many different fantasies as there are people.
[37:40.840 --> 37:49.700]  You can have the more, quote, usual fantasies of, you know, doctor, patient, or maybe, you know, sexy school teacher, naughty student, stuff like that.
[37:50.020 --> 37:55.380]  But, I mean, this is obviously a geeky community.
[37:55.380 --> 37:58.000]  And, I mean, there are many different people with many different fandoms.
[37:58.140 --> 37:59.920]  And if that's your thing, go for it.
[38:01.060 --> 38:02.820]  Personally, I'm a big Doctor Who fan.
[38:03.060 --> 38:05.880]  You can bet your butt I do Doctor Who role play in the bedroom.
[38:09.030 --> 38:09.710]  I'm sorry?
[38:12.330 --> 38:13.490]  Funny we should mention that.
[38:13.570 --> 38:16.110]  Going back to the hypnosis thing, a lot of...
[38:16.110 --> 38:19.630]  I know people who are into erotic hypnosis that are also into Doctor Who.
[38:19.770 --> 38:23.190]  And they will use this to be their erotic treasure.
[38:23.350 --> 38:24.830]  Like, you can point this at someone's head.
[38:24.830 --> 38:28.310]  For some people, you know, if this is the thing they've set up, you can point at their head.
[38:28.730 --> 38:30.190]  And they just start convulsing.
[38:33.350 --> 38:34.430]  So, there's nothing wrong.
[38:34.530 --> 38:36.650]  I mean, remember, this is your time in the bedroom.
[38:36.830 --> 38:37.470]  So, you know what?
[38:37.610 --> 38:39.870]  If you want to get it on with a Cylon, go ahead.
[38:40.070 --> 38:41.290]  Get it on with a Cylon.
[38:41.650 --> 38:42.710]  That's just fine.
[38:43.350 --> 38:44.490]  No one has to know.
[38:44.770 --> 38:45.450]  And you know what?
[38:45.550 --> 38:47.490]  Maybe letting someone know, they might say, hey, that is pretty hot.
[38:47.590 --> 38:48.470]  You want to join in?
[38:48.610 --> 38:48.850]  Sure!
[38:49.270 --> 38:49.510]  You know?
[38:51.850 --> 38:53.890]  I'm going to talk about cybersexuality next.
[38:54.130 --> 38:56.630]  I've mentioned the f*cking machines already before.
[38:57.750 --> 38:58.770]  There's been cybersex.
[38:59.130 --> 39:00.370]  I don't know this for a fact.
[39:00.450 --> 39:04.810]  But I'm sure there's been cybersex as long as we've had the first BBSs, as long as we've had the first emails.
[39:05.070 --> 39:06.630]  Maybe the first email was, hello world.
[39:06.750 --> 39:08.610]  But the second was, hey baby, what are you doing tonight?
[39:09.630 --> 39:10.350]  I mean...
[39:10.350 --> 39:11.250]  What are you wearing?
[39:11.250 --> 39:12.370]  There you go!
[39:12.550 --> 39:13.390]  What are you wearing?
[39:14.730 --> 39:16.630]  Maybe that was the first SMS message.
[39:16.790 --> 39:17.190]  I don't know.
[39:18.190 --> 39:25.190]  So people have been using the Internet to have sex and to talk about sexual things for a very, very long time.
[39:26.070 --> 39:32.030]  Back in the big days of news groups, alt.sex.whatever was a huge, huge thing.
[39:32.290 --> 39:40.830]  Hell, the technosexuals, the people who are into robots and other things like that, they still identify as ASFR, alt.sex.fetish.robot.
[39:41.350 --> 39:42.450]  It's just the term they've gone by.
[39:42.530 --> 39:44.770]  They name themselves after a defunct news group.
[39:47.110 --> 39:49.890]  However, a lot of this stuff, it's been mainly text.
[39:50.110 --> 39:53.250]  You know, IRC, you'll go on and you'll have cybersex with someone.
[39:53.430 --> 39:55.850]  You'll IM them or you'll exchange emails.
[39:56.110 --> 39:57.530]  So all this is just text.
[39:57.710 --> 39:59.070]  But as we explore...
[39:59.070 --> 40:01.630]  I hate to say Web 2.0, please don't hurt me.
[40:02.550 --> 40:08.870]  But as we explore Web 2.0 and as we explore the different things that we're able to do nowadays, it's getting to be more than that.
[40:09.050 --> 40:10.530]  And I'd like to bring up Second Life.
[40:10.710 --> 40:20.950]  Second Life, to those who have not been on it, it's an environment where you can basically create your avatar to look like literally anything you want it to look like at any time.
[40:21.630 --> 40:23.370]  You can change gender.
[40:23.610 --> 40:24.910]  You can change species.
[40:25.230 --> 40:27.950]  You can be a giant walking hot dog.
[40:29.310 --> 40:31.030]  It's perfect for the fetishist.
[40:31.150 --> 40:37.670]  And it's an interactive community where you can go different places, see different things, talk to people, do different people.
[40:38.990 --> 40:42.290]  And it's absolutely perfect for fetishist.
[40:42.430 --> 40:43.830]  It's absolutely perfect for erotic roleplay.
[40:44.470 --> 40:48.730]  Pretty much any kind of fetish you can imagine is already on Second Life.
[40:49.310 --> 40:55.690]  And it's because of just this ability to change and do whatever you want, it just allows people to go wild.
[40:55.890 --> 41:00.330]  It just... to really delve into their fetishes and to delve into their fantasies.
[41:00.330 --> 41:04.910]  And if you're... even if you're all curious, you know, make sure your video card can support it and go on.
[41:05.030 --> 41:07.850]  There is... there certainly is a learning... I'm going to be honest.
[41:07.950 --> 41:09.290]  There is a learning curve to Second Life.
[41:10.350 --> 41:11.690]  It's a pretty steep one.
[41:11.890 --> 41:14.310]  But once you get over that, it's wonderful.
[41:14.470 --> 41:17.370]  You can meet so many different people and you can have so much fun.
[41:17.510 --> 41:20.690]  I mean, personally, I consider myself gender fluid.
[41:20.970 --> 41:23.770]  I consider myself a person who's sometimes male and sometimes female.
[41:23.770 --> 41:30.530]  And I love Second Life because in one moment I can be... I can be a girl and three clicks later I'm a guy.
[41:31.550 --> 41:34.770]  I've... I have gone into... I have donned a male avatar.
[41:34.770 --> 41:38.530]  I have gone into an all-gay male sex area and I've had gay sex.
[41:39.250 --> 41:42.570]  And this isn't something I could do in... well, first life.
[41:42.730 --> 41:43.270]  In real life.
[41:44.130 --> 41:45.770]  Yes, I play Second Life too much.
[41:45.870 --> 41:46.230]  Thank you.
[41:47.610 --> 41:49.370]  This isn't something I could do in real life.
[41:49.690 --> 41:51.290]  This... Now, of course, I don't know.
[41:51.290 --> 41:53.050]  Maybe the other person on the other end was a woman.
[41:53.250 --> 41:54.110]  I'll never know.
[41:54.190 --> 41:56.250]  Because I may never run into that person ever again.
[41:56.490 --> 42:01.110]  But it's a place that really lets you explore and be what you want to be and explore what you want to explore.
[42:02.750 --> 42:04.630]  See, I'm going to talk about fetishes next.
[42:06.110 --> 42:09.370]  Talking about this talk on the HOPE Forum...
[42:09.870 --> 42:10.690]  Hold on a second.
[42:10.770 --> 42:11.550]  Got to scroll down here.
[42:11.930 --> 42:12.250]  There we are.
[42:13.670 --> 42:21.410]  Talking about this on the HOPE Forum, somebody mentioned when I said, Hey, you know, I'm approaching this talk from kind of a free software, open source kind of mindset.
[42:21.730 --> 42:22.930]  What would you like to hear me talk about?
[42:23.010 --> 42:23.930]  Somebody mentioned fetishes.
[42:24.070 --> 42:26.370]  And they asked me a couple questions and I'd like to answer them.
[42:26.450 --> 42:28.750]  They said, if you or someone else... I'm sorry.
[42:30.350 --> 42:31.630]  Why are we wired this way?
[42:31.710 --> 42:32.750]  Why do people have fetishes?
[42:33.010 --> 42:35.570]  And the answer to this is, honestly, in short, who knows?
[42:35.950 --> 42:36.890]  We don't know yet.
[42:36.970 --> 42:37.970]  There hasn't been enough research.
[42:39.110 --> 42:41.310]  Some people think we were born this way.
[42:41.430 --> 42:43.430]  Other people think that there were environmental influences.
[42:43.430 --> 42:45.790]  But, you know, one person might see that environmental influence.
[42:45.970 --> 42:47.510]  And another person might have the exact same experience.
[42:47.870 --> 42:50.350]  And the one person is the fetish and the other person is not.
[42:50.470 --> 42:51.070]  We don't really know.
[42:51.190 --> 42:52.030]  But let's be honest.
[42:52.330 --> 42:52.910]  Who cares?
[42:53.350 --> 42:55.130]  I mean, it's fascinating to think about.
[42:55.430 --> 43:01.030]  But a lot of times, whenever you start going down this path, people will then try to cure you of your fetish.
[43:01.090 --> 43:02.070]  And there's no reason.
[43:02.210 --> 43:04.610]  As long as you're not hurting anybody, it's all good.
[43:04.730 --> 43:05.850]  It's really just all good.
[43:07.470 --> 43:08.530]  Hacking the mind with fetishes.
[43:08.610 --> 43:13.050]  If you or someone else has a really decent, strong fetish, this is probably the best way to hack their sexuality.
[43:14.190 --> 43:20.330]  Because of the very nature of what a fetish is versus just having like a passing interest.
[43:20.490 --> 43:23.210]  I mean, there are, obviously, this is not news to you.
[43:23.250 --> 43:26.210]  There are many men who are interested in breasts on women.
[43:26.970 --> 43:28.410]  This is not news.
[43:29.310 --> 43:30.230]  No, I know.
[43:30.330 --> 43:30.810]  It's hard to believe.
[43:31.150 --> 43:33.430]  However, there are some men that breasts are their fetish.
[43:33.430 --> 43:36.530]  I mean, for some of them, the larger the breasts, the better.
[43:37.050 --> 43:43.870]  And it just, I mean, just thinking about it or talking about it will really start to make them hard.
[43:44.170 --> 43:48.250]  It all depends on the extent of how much you're into something.
[43:50.270 --> 43:53.170]  Let's see, they also ask, you know, how do you find other fetishes?
[43:54.550 --> 44:01.830]  Some fetishes have a visible symbol in the gay male subculture, the gay male leather subculture, which is another form of kink.
[44:01.830 --> 44:18.610]  They have something called a hanky code, wherein one will wear a handkerchief or a bandana of a certain color in their back left or back right pocket, depending on what they like to do with that fetish.
[44:18.830 --> 44:25.970]  And red is fisting, and yellow is golden showers, urination.
[44:26.430 --> 44:31.590]  And it's gotten to the point, though, that there are so many different subtle shades of color.
[44:31.590 --> 44:34.410]  It's like, well, are you wearing peach or apricot?
[44:34.630 --> 44:39.590]  Because the one means... because, you know, if you're wearing tan there, you've got a cigar fetish.
[44:39.670 --> 44:42.650]  But if you're wearing apricot, you're a chubby chaser and you like fat people.
[44:42.770 --> 44:45.090]  So, I mean, it's starting to get to that point.
[44:45.610 --> 44:48.590]  I mentioned the technosexuals earlier, the ASFRs.
[44:48.870 --> 44:55.990]  And they've decided on a wind-up key, like from an old clock or something like that, to represent their symbol, to let them find other fetishes.
[44:57.270 --> 45:00.470]  Another way to find fetishes, go to BDSM events and ask around.
[45:00.470 --> 45:02.410]  Find out there's a local club in your area.
[45:02.770 --> 45:04.650]  And you might be thinking, you know, I live in the middle of nowhere.
[45:04.770 --> 45:05.410]  I'm not going to have a club.
[45:05.950 --> 45:07.950]  I live personally in the Washington, D.C.
[45:08.030 --> 45:08.290]  area.
[45:08.430 --> 45:09.530]  And I know my clubs in the area.
[45:09.630 --> 45:13.390]  But I also know that there's a club called WIP, West Virginia Humans into Perversion.
[45:16.390 --> 45:18.110]  So, there are clubs in the middle of nowhere.
[45:18.190 --> 45:19.790]  I grew up in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania.
[45:19.790 --> 45:23.790]  And I found out that there is a kinky group of people who get together.
[45:23.790 --> 45:26.310]  Not too far from where I grew up, which is kind of cool.
[45:26.810 --> 45:28.090]  But they are everywhere.
[45:28.330 --> 45:30.930]  If you do live in an area that you don't...
[45:30.930 --> 45:37.390]  If you do live in an area that is in the middle of nowhere, I recommend going to your local large town.
[45:37.550 --> 45:37.790]  I'm sorry.
[45:37.850 --> 45:38.850]  Your local large town.
[45:39.330 --> 45:40.270]  Your local large city.
[45:40.490 --> 45:43.250]  Find out what their BDSM club is.
[45:43.250 --> 45:47.250]  And then go from there and ask them, Hey, is there anybody meeting up my way?
[45:47.470 --> 45:50.870]  And you might find out about a munch, which is where people meet for lunch.
[45:50.990 --> 45:52.570]  And it's totally casual.
[45:52.670 --> 45:53.410]  There's no play involved.
[45:53.470 --> 45:54.290]  They just talk.
[45:54.450 --> 45:55.670]  They sit there and they talk about whatever.
[45:55.810 --> 45:56.790]  And they just get to know each other.
[45:56.890 --> 45:59.050]  There might be a happy hour or something you can go to.
[46:00.590 --> 46:03.130]  But really, the easiest way to do it is find people online.
[46:03.450 --> 46:07.110]  There's pretty much an online presence for just about any fetish you can imagine.
[46:07.410 --> 46:12.950]  And I probably should have said this earlier, but fetishes can be about anything you can imagine.
[46:12.950 --> 46:14.810]  There is a fetish for every single body part.
[46:14.930 --> 46:16.910]  There's a fetish for people who are into really skinny people.
[46:17.230 --> 46:19.570]  There's a fetish for people who are into really fat people.
[46:20.110 --> 46:25.110]  There's a fetish for objectification, becoming a human chair or something like that.
[46:25.210 --> 46:26.850]  There's a fetish for people who are into balloons.
[46:27.030 --> 46:28.810]  There are fetishes who are into people who are being eaten.
[46:29.830 --> 46:33.130]  These are all real ones that I've studied and I'm just thinking off the top of my head.
[46:33.250 --> 46:35.770]  There are fetishes for people who want to have sex with robots.
[46:35.770 --> 46:43.670]  There are fetishes for people who want to... for people who are into some kind of mind control, whether it's real or imaginary.
[46:44.270 --> 46:46.150]  There's the erotic hypnosis fetish I mentioned.
[46:46.570 --> 46:48.590]  There's basically anything you can think of as a fetish.
[46:48.710 --> 46:55.550]  I'm sure... hell, I mean, everyone's already heard of necrophilia, but I'm sure there's someone somewhere who has a coffin fetish, or maybe even a flower fetish.
[46:57.030 --> 46:58.770]  So, there's pretty much anything you can think of.
[46:58.790 --> 47:02.170]  If you want to hear more about fetishes, rare fetishes are kind of just an interest of mine.
[47:02.250 --> 47:04.910]  I think they're fascinating, and we can certainly talk about them more in the other room.
[47:06.230 --> 47:08.570]  But, finding people online is pretty much the easiest way.
[47:08.750 --> 47:11.350]  The way you should go about it is, find out what it's called.
[47:11.950 --> 47:19.210]  Because, like, the people who are into really fat people, this one is called Chubby Chasers.
[47:19.650 --> 47:21.710]  It's called FA, or Fat Admiration.
[47:22.310 --> 47:23.330]  You've got to know the lingo.
[47:23.570 --> 47:26.050]  So, do a little bit of searching online.
[47:26.170 --> 47:26.870]  Do a little bit of research.
[47:27.030 --> 47:29.250]  Find out what they call themselves, and then start looking for that.
[47:29.350 --> 47:34.090]  And you'll probably find chat, bulletin boards, and it'll get you in touch with people.
[47:34.090 --> 47:38.590]  And then you can start talking to people, and find out if there's anyone in your area who's specifically into your fetish.
[47:40.130 --> 47:43.650]  That's pretty much all I have, and oh my god, I have extra time.
[47:43.970 --> 47:44.150]  Yes!
[47:45.730 --> 47:48.050]  Before I end, I'd like to give thanks to a bunch of people.
[47:48.250 --> 47:49.810]  Some of them who are here, some of them who aren't.
[47:49.910 --> 47:52.570]  I'd like to really thank my partner Winter Rose, who couldn't be here.
[47:52.570 --> 48:00.090]  He gave me a lot of really invaluable advice about erotic hypnosis and about technosexuality.
[48:00.850 --> 48:06.810]  I'd like to thank his housemate, Wiseguy, who gave me a lot of information about hypnosis.
[48:07.310 --> 48:15.250]  I'd like to thank Render Man for, just before my talk, about an hour and a half, telling me about that wonderful little Bluetooth dildo thing.
[48:15.950 --> 48:16.850]  That was great.
[48:17.290 --> 48:23.110]  I'd like to thank, let's see here, David, who let me run my presentation by him, and who let me borrow his laptop.
[48:23.350 --> 48:24.490]  Thank you so much.
[48:25.870 --> 48:31.570]  My friend, one who frees, who asked to get my presentation to, my roommate Harvey, and all my friends I talk sex with.
[48:31.770 --> 48:39.430]  And I'd like to thank all of you that requested my talking about sex again, because I'm rather poor right now, and I got to get into the con for free.
[48:39.430 --> 48:40.170]  Thank you.
[48:40.670 --> 48:42.850]  And the people who chose the talk, thank you.
[48:43.150 --> 48:45.050]  And all of you who are here and listening.
[48:45.330 --> 48:47.130]  The last time I gave a talk on sex, I got heckled.
[48:47.310 --> 48:49.710]  And you guys really didn't heckle me, and I really appreciate it.
[48:49.810 --> 48:51.070]  And we've got ten more minutes.
[48:51.250 --> 48:52.550]  And you have ten more minutes!
[48:52.710 --> 48:53.150]  How about that?
[48:53.210 --> 48:54.090]  How many of you like that?
[48:57.070 --> 49:01.510]  I'd like to put the floor open for questions again.
[49:01.890 --> 49:08.850]  And after this, I'd like anybody who's interested to go over to the impromptu talk room, and we can talk about sex.
[49:09.050 --> 49:09.590]  It'll be fun.
[49:09.930 --> 49:11.590]  Do I have any questions for anybody?
[49:12.250 --> 49:15.750]  If so, just start going to the mics, because I can't see anyone's hands.
[49:15.970 --> 49:20.330]  If you have any kind of questions, anything I didn't talk about, anything I did talk about, go to the mic.
[49:20.490 --> 49:21.270]  Ask me some questions.
[49:21.410 --> 49:21.870]  Let's go here.
[49:23.190 --> 49:23.790]  Oh, come on.
[49:23.850 --> 49:24.590]  Someone has to have something.
[49:25.170 --> 49:25.670]  Oh, yeah.
[49:25.670 --> 49:26.170]  People are moving.
[49:26.270 --> 49:26.610]  This is good.
[49:29.820 --> 49:30.180]  Anything?
[49:30.460 --> 49:30.720]  No?
[49:31.180 --> 49:32.460]  Yeah, I have a question.
[49:32.540 --> 49:32.680]  Oh, I'm sorry.
[49:32.800 --> 49:33.200]  Go ahead.
[49:34.120 --> 49:37.760]  What would be a good website to learn about erotic hypnotism?
[49:38.420 --> 49:38.920]  Thank you.
[49:39.020 --> 49:39.900]  That's a really good question.
[49:40.820 --> 49:46.680]  Actually, what I forgot to mention is that I'm going to have a page up for more information about all of these fetishes.
[49:47.560 --> 49:52.900]  Not just all these fetishes, for all of the information up at c4bl3fl4m3.googlepages.com.
[49:52.960 --> 49:57.480]  Right now, it's just some crap that I put up there like a year and a half ago, so if it's not there yet, I haven't had time.
[49:57.760 --> 49:59.880]  However, your specific one on erotic hypnotism.
[50:01.260 --> 50:02.140]  Let's see here.
[50:02.420 --> 50:03.700]  I don't want to run off the top of my head.
[50:03.760 --> 50:06.540]  There's a podcast by a woman who goes by Lady Ruetha.
[50:06.540 --> 50:10.300]  It's called the Realm of Bliss podcast, and it's probably one of the best podcasts.
[50:10.520 --> 50:12.240]  It's probably the best source I could think of for that.
[50:12.380 --> 50:23.440]  I also have a whole two pages of erotic hypnotism stuff because of my lover who has given presentations with other people before, and I have their list of things, so I can certainly get that to you.
[50:26.300 --> 50:30.480]  So, me and my partner recently found out that she's allergic to her hormonal birth control.
[50:30.700 --> 50:31.020]  Okay.
[50:31.340 --> 50:37.040]  And I was wondering if you know of any non-hormonal birth control methods other than condoms.
[50:37.440 --> 50:37.780]  Okay.
[50:38.180 --> 50:39.320]  Personally, I have this problem too.
[50:39.440 --> 50:40.820]  I can't handle hormonal birth control.
[50:40.920 --> 50:41.920]  It totally messes me up.
[50:43.040 --> 50:45.580]  You can get an IUD, the copper one.
[50:46.100 --> 50:49.600]  However, this one can cause problems if your uterus isn't big enough.
[50:50.920 --> 50:57.920]  Unfortunately, they only make them in one size, and because in America they're pretty much only recommended for people who've had childbirth.
[50:58.300 --> 51:01.740]  In Europe, they're used for all women, so this may or may not work for her.
[51:01.820 --> 51:05.140]  This person, I went to get one and it didn't work for me because my uterus was too small.
[51:05.140 --> 51:09.160]  So, there are cervical caps, there are diaphragms.
[51:09.340 --> 51:20.960]  These are not always the best method because there are certain things you have to go through, and they're better for like occasional sex once in a while, not like, you know, if you're really hot for each other, like, you know, a couple of f*cking sessions in a couple of hours.
[51:21.100 --> 51:23.840]  It doesn't really work so well for that because of the way that they work.
[51:25.020 --> 51:31.480]  I wish I had better advice for you because I'm in the same spot, and there just, there isn't any perfect solution if you can't do hormonal.
[51:31.680 --> 51:31.960]  I'm sorry.
[51:32.640 --> 51:33.340]  Female comments.
[51:33.340 --> 51:39.880]  Yeah, there are female condoms, but those also have some of their own issues with them, and they're very expensive, unfortunately.
[51:42.500 --> 51:47.520]  Just another recommendation for vibrators, for girls, the rabbit, my favorite.
[51:47.780 --> 51:49.120]  Some people really like the rabbit.
[51:49.320 --> 51:53.020]  My personal experiences with them, some women love them.
[51:53.180 --> 51:54.520]  I guess this is the first thing.
[51:54.680 --> 51:56.540]  Some women love them to the heck.
[51:56.740 --> 52:04.240]  I tried one, and my vaginal walls held onto it, and instead of it spinning inside of me, the outside, the handle part, was spinning around and around and around.
[52:04.340 --> 52:08.620]  I'm like... and then, okay, I'm like, okay, I'll hold onto the handle tighter so I make it spin in me.
[52:08.700 --> 52:09.100]  And I did.
[52:09.540 --> 52:11.600]  And then when it started feeling good, I'm like, aww.
[52:11.720 --> 52:15.200]  And of course, my body starts to relax, and my hand loosens up, and it starts going like this again.
[52:16.440 --> 52:18.320]  So, maybe I just... this is because I got a cheap one.
[52:18.380 --> 52:19.140]  It works for some women.
[52:19.220 --> 52:19.940]  It doesn't work for others.
[52:19.940 --> 52:23.960]  Yeah, that part doesn't work really well, but the clapping?
[52:24.480 --> 52:26.400]  The little vibration part?
[52:26.680 --> 52:28.000]  Yeah, in the...
[52:28.000 --> 52:31.660]  Personally, I found that I don't like battery-operated vibes because they feel too buzzy to me.
[52:31.940 --> 52:33.820]  This is something that I probably should have mentioned earlier.
[52:34.340 --> 52:36.680]  They're always... one thing that I found is that they always mention vibrators.
[52:36.720 --> 52:39.100]  If you've never orgasmed before, women, get a vibrator.
[52:39.700 --> 52:42.400]  There are some women that have hypersensitive clitorises.
[52:42.860 --> 52:44.080]  Vibrators feel bad to them.
[52:45.320 --> 52:46.860]  Vibrators might not get you off.
[52:46.880 --> 52:52.060]  And I'm only saying this just because I was one of these people, and I read all these books, and they kept saying vibrators, vibrators, vibrators.
[52:52.160 --> 52:56.420]  And I'm like... I mean, I'm a sexual educator, and I'm still feeling really bad.
[52:56.580 --> 52:57.860]  I'm like, what's wrong with me?
[52:57.900 --> 52:58.940]  It doesn't work for me.
[52:59.240 --> 53:03.820]  And, of course, eventually I did find the Hitachi magic wand, and I realized that I just needed something not so buzzy.
[53:04.000 --> 53:09.560]  But do know that there are some women that don't like having their clitorises touch with or play with too much, because it's too super sensitive.
[53:09.720 --> 53:10.160]  That's okay.
[53:10.340 --> 53:11.520]  It's just another variation.
[53:13.240 --> 53:14.500]  Any other questions or anything?
[53:15.120 --> 53:15.820]  Any comments?
[53:16.480 --> 53:17.520]  Yeah, I've got one question.
[53:17.680 --> 53:17.940]  Sure.
[53:17.940 --> 53:20.940]  Have you ever... for the pleasurable...
[53:22.820 --> 53:23.480]  Play piercing?
[53:23.800 --> 53:25.180]  No, the piercing.
[53:25.580 --> 53:27.400]  Not piercing, but the...
[53:27.400 --> 53:27.920]  Play piercing.
[53:28.000 --> 53:28.720]  Play piercing, yeah.
[53:28.840 --> 53:29.000]  Thank you.
[53:29.040 --> 53:29.860]  Yeah, the play piercing, okay.
[53:30.500 --> 53:36.400]  Have you ever done any acupuncture yourself, or have you linked that to any acupuncture stuff?
[53:36.580 --> 53:37.780]  Never done any acupuncture.
[53:38.740 --> 53:42.060]  Just from... and I'll admit, this is just from what I've seen of acupuncture on TV.
[53:42.060 --> 53:44.280]  I've seen actual examples of real acupuncture.
[53:44.400 --> 53:45.900]  They put stuff in like this.
[53:46.640 --> 53:49.720]  This plate piercing is usually not in the arm, actually.
[53:49.920 --> 53:55.880]  It's usually in more fatty places like the breasts, the back, the buttocks, the upper arms.
[53:57.420 --> 53:59.900]  And it is something that goes underneath the skin.
[54:00.100 --> 54:07.780]  And I've actually found people who are intrigued by the idea of having some kind of technological implant in their body.
[54:07.780 --> 54:09.780]  You have metal in your skin for a while.
[54:09.980 --> 54:11.260]  And you can see it.
[54:11.320 --> 54:13.360]  It leaves little raised marks while it's in you.
[54:13.460 --> 54:14.380]  And you kind of touch it there.
[54:14.480 --> 54:20.440]  And if that's your thing, if that's something that excites you about possibly in the future, it's really cool.
[54:22.440 --> 54:28.220]  Also on acupuncture, unless it's something that you really, really like, like the idea of, it's not going to trigger the endorphins.
[54:28.360 --> 54:29.680]  It's not what it's for.
[54:31.540 --> 54:33.820]  Actually, I'm going to have to disagree with that.
[54:33.980 --> 54:35.620]  Because the first time I tried it, I was scared.
[54:35.620 --> 54:38.620]  I was scared on my mind, and it wasn't something I've ever fantasized about before.
[54:39.180 --> 54:41.280]  I'm the kind of person... stop.
[54:41.680 --> 54:42.000]  Okay.
[54:43.140 --> 54:44.460]  Let's take this to the other room.
[54:45.100 --> 54:46.400]  Um, you moved to.
[54:50.370 --> 54:52.330]  Okay, okay, wait, there's something I had to say here.
[54:52.510 --> 54:52.810]  What?
[54:53.170 --> 54:54.670]  I'm getting the larger room.
[54:55.490 --> 54:56.470]  I'm getting the larger room.
[54:56.510 --> 54:56.770]  You're getting egress.
[54:56.770 --> 54:57.230]  Which is called what?
[54:57.730 --> 54:58.090]  Egress.
[54:58.570 --> 54:59.490]  I'm not getting Zeus.
[54:59.630 --> 55:01.110]  I'm not getting Zeus, I'm getting egress.
[55:13.460 --> 55:15.520]  I've got to get me going because there is another talk.
[55:16.320 --> 55:16.680]  Certainly.
[55:17.160 --> 55:19.620]  Um, like I said, this is not something I ever fantasize.
[55:19.660 --> 55:19.900]  Okay.
[55:20.100 --> 55:21.900]  Oh, you're so lucky I didn't ask questions.
[55:22.340 --> 55:23.600]  Hey, you can ask yours later.
[55:23.860 --> 55:26.120]  Um, it's not something I ever fantasize about.
[55:26.240 --> 55:28.180]  It's something that actually scared me and that didn't turn me on.
[55:28.300 --> 55:29.580]  But it still can do that.
[55:29.580 --> 55:31.800]  It's just, um, getting clay piercing.
[55:32.080 --> 55:33.020]  Um, let's have a clay piercing.

[00:00.000 --> 00:00.540]  There we go.
[00:01.000 --> 00:02.340]  There we go.
[00:05.550 --> 00:06.630]  That's sweet.
[00:07.770 --> 00:09.270]  That's freakin' sweet.
[00:09.590 --> 00:10.330]  Oh my god.
[00:10.490 --> 00:11.590]  That tickles.
[00:12.210 --> 00:14.570]  Oh, let's even get that thing going again.
[00:14.950 --> 00:15.530]  There we go.
[00:20.450 --> 00:28.030]  As I was mentioning, in French class, my French teacher had a French version of one.
[00:29.410 --> 00:33.610]  It says where I learned that Ushitoia means it tickles.
[00:33.970 --> 00:34.450]  So it's like, yay!
[00:35.590 --> 00:35.910]  Ushitoia!
[00:36.110 --> 00:39.150]  So I'm thinking of this thing doing that, which is just like double funny.
[00:39.390 --> 00:40.430]  Let's see if I can get this going again.
[00:44.390 --> 00:49.450]  But you gotta shake it, which is kind of more like, you know, shake me, shake me like a British nanny, you know?
[00:52.250 --> 00:53.230]  Like in Family Guy.
[00:53.410 --> 00:56.810]  It's like, you're supposed to tickle him, not shake him, but you gotta shake it to make it work.
[00:57.610 --> 00:58.290]  That tickles.
[00:58.330 --> 00:59.070]  So we can get this work again.
[01:05.530 --> 01:07.130]  Alright, I'm having way too much fun with this.
[01:07.250 --> 01:07.350]  Sorry.
[01:12.250 --> 01:13.270]  Keep it going here.
[01:14.130 --> 01:15.430]  Alright, I'm sorry.
[01:16.690 --> 01:17.290]  I'm sorry.
[01:17.450 --> 01:18.050]  I get distracted.
[01:18.210 --> 01:18.590]  There we go.
[01:26.170 --> 01:26.690]  I'm sorry.
[01:26.890 --> 01:27.090]  Me?
[01:27.670 --> 01:28.010]  ADD?
[01:28.310 --> 01:28.650]  Never!
[01:29.930 --> 01:31.110]  Alright, if I can get quiet in here.
[01:31.170 --> 01:31.730]  Go for it.
[01:39.290 --> 01:41.030]  I'd like to make it my profession someday.
[01:41.190 --> 01:42.870]  How did you get into it as an education?
[01:43.330 --> 01:45.150]  And I think you'll get into it as a profession.
[01:45.930 --> 01:47.330]  How did I get into it as an education?
[01:47.630 --> 01:48.350]  I read books.
[01:48.670 --> 01:49.530]  I read a lot of books.
[01:50.030 --> 01:50.890]  I had sex.
[01:51.250 --> 01:53.810]  I'm not going to say I had a lot of sex, but I certainly had my share of sex.
[01:56.250 --> 01:57.490]  I've talked to people.
[01:57.650 --> 01:58.730]  I've talked to a lot of people.
[01:59.610 --> 02:01.190]  That's pretty much basically it.
[02:01.970 --> 02:06.950]  There is a history, it seems, in the sexual education community of being self-taught.
[02:07.050 --> 02:08.710]  And I don't just mean having sex with people.
[02:08.830 --> 02:12.970]  Although, there is a very well-respected sexual educator who goes by the name of Annie Sprinkle.
[02:13.170 --> 02:14.430]  And she started out as a porn star.
[02:14.610 --> 02:18.730]  She started out as a porn star who would do absolutely pretty much anything in porn.
[02:18.730 --> 02:21.030]  She did a lot of golden shower videos.
[02:21.330 --> 02:25.030]  And she just... she wanted basically to have as many sexual experiences as possible.
[02:25.210 --> 02:28.730]  And she basically wanted to have as much sex as possible with as many men and women as possible.
[02:28.810 --> 02:30.250]  She was just... she was a slut.
[02:30.390 --> 02:32.390]  I mean, she's a very highly intelligent woman.
[02:32.450 --> 02:34.010]  She was just really interested in this.
[02:34.690 --> 02:35.910]  I'm sorry, go back to your question again?
[02:36.850 --> 02:39.950]  The second question is how... in case you seem like to do your education.
[02:40.050 --> 02:40.310]  Yes.
[02:40.470 --> 02:40.670]  How?
[02:41.650 --> 02:42.010]  How?
[02:42.050 --> 02:42.050]  How?
[02:42.310 --> 02:43.310]  I'd like to know that.
[02:43.390 --> 02:43.930]  That would be nice.
[02:44.690 --> 02:46.130]  I'm still figuring this part out.
[02:47.850 --> 02:49.190]  And it's obviously the talks.
[02:49.450 --> 02:50.350]  I'm figuring...
[02:50.350 --> 02:52.710]  I've done a lot of... I've done a lot of one-on-one education.
[02:52.850 --> 02:53.650]  And I don't mean in the bedroom.
[02:53.830 --> 02:55.150]  I mean, like, friends.
[02:55.270 --> 02:57.330]  People will come to me and want to learn about something.
[02:57.410 --> 02:59.430]  And alright, alright, I'll meet you at this time online.
[02:59.430 --> 03:00.310]  You know, all I am you.
[03:00.410 --> 03:01.510]  And I'll just start talking to you.
[03:01.530 --> 03:02.410]  And I'll start teaching you.
[03:02.690 --> 03:04.030]  How am I going to do this professionally?
[03:04.230 --> 03:07.570]  There are professional sex educators with places like Planned Parenthood and stuff.
[03:07.810 --> 03:11.370]  There are a number of people who do basically the kind of thing I want to do.
[03:12.410 --> 03:13.130]  Annie Sprinkle.
[03:13.290 --> 03:14.170]  Tristan Taramino.
[03:14.330 --> 03:16.030]  I could rattle a bunch of names.
[03:16.130 --> 03:17.290]  It's off the top of my head.
[03:17.670 --> 03:20.590]  I'd like to talk to them someday and get to know what they've done to do it.
[03:20.630 --> 03:22.770]  I think they've just basically started doing talks.
[03:22.930 --> 03:25.610]  And eventually along the way, people started wanting to pay them for it.
[03:25.670 --> 03:26.570]  And that's pretty sweet.
[03:28.910 --> 03:33.190]  In the other room, you said that if people want to get into the...
[03:33.190 --> 03:37.350]  You know, to go to a large city and ask people there.
[03:37.350 --> 03:39.970]  There's some kind of groups in there, a local area.
[03:40.130 --> 03:45.710]  But there is a website that you can go to, domstufffriends.com.
[03:46.350 --> 03:49.990]  And it lists the world...
[03:49.990 --> 03:50.410]  Excellent.
[03:50.890 --> 03:51.430]  ...of
[03:54.540 --> 03:55.280]  the one there.
[03:55.300 --> 03:55.760]  Wonderful.
[04:00.770 --> 04:03.470]  They do talks here locally.
[04:03.770 --> 04:09.370]  They have a different topic every week.
[04:09.910 --> 04:12.270]  Ted has different meetings every week.
[04:12.270 --> 04:12.950]  Of course, yeah.
[04:13.390 --> 04:15.690]  Yeah, Black Roads has meetings every week in D.C.
[04:15.830 --> 04:16.390]  and stuff like that.
[04:16.390 --> 04:18.210]  So, I probably...
[04:18.210 --> 04:20.870]  I have to admit, as I mentioned, I was really nervous up there.
[04:20.950 --> 04:22.890]  And my brain wasn't in complete working mode.
[04:23.790 --> 04:25.410]  Look on the Internet for the large group.
[04:25.550 --> 04:27.390]  And then you can always possibly email them.
[04:32.870 --> 04:33.410]  I'm sorry.
[04:33.510 --> 04:35.710]  I can't hear you above whatever the hell is going on over there.
[04:35.870 --> 04:36.110]  Okay.
[04:36.650 --> 04:37.930]  I would like...
[04:37.930 --> 04:40.690]  Well, how many of you have ever heard of fertility awareness?
[04:41.670 --> 04:42.370]  I've heard of it.
[04:43.010 --> 04:44.090]  How much do you know about it?
[04:45.170 --> 04:48.290]  I know pretty much as much as anybody else does.
[04:48.290 --> 04:53.370]  So, it's a method of predicting ovulation based on taking your temperature every day.
[04:53.650 --> 04:54.930]  And taking your cerebral fluid.
[04:55.270 --> 04:58.150]  And it may not be the birth control method for everyone.
[04:58.390 --> 05:01.230]  But it is definitely worth reading about if you are a woman.
[05:01.690 --> 05:02.470]  Or if you...
[05:02.470 --> 05:04.470]  If hormonal birth control does not work for you.
[05:04.710 --> 05:05.370]  It is...
[05:05.370 --> 05:08.750]  There's a mind-blowing book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
[05:09.230 --> 05:11.250]  Which you should look up and just...
[05:11.250 --> 05:12.110]  If you're a woman, read it.
[05:12.170 --> 05:14.610]  It doesn't matter if hormonal birth control works for you now.
[05:14.810 --> 05:16.530]  But it's fabulous information.
[05:17.170 --> 05:17.650]  So...
[05:17.650 --> 05:21.270]  There's been different studies on the effectiveness of it.
[05:21.390 --> 05:22.290]  It does work for some women.
[05:22.410 --> 05:23.190]  It doesn't work for others.
[05:23.330 --> 05:24.550]  Personally, I'm not going to take that risk.
[05:26.310 --> 05:30.330]  Although, I will admit, I'm a person who highly believes in layering your birth control methods.
[05:31.110 --> 05:32.190]  We learn in...
[05:32.190 --> 05:33.010]  At least I learned in school.
[05:33.010 --> 05:33.510]  I was lucky.
[05:33.670 --> 05:35.590]  I grew up in a very conservative part of Pennsylvania.
[05:35.770 --> 05:37.610]  But yet, I somehow had comprehensive sex ed.
[05:37.950 --> 05:39.550]  Don't know how I pulled that off, but I got real lucky.
[05:39.550 --> 05:42.950]  We learned in school, you know, the rhythm method might...
[05:42.950 --> 05:44.910]  Is really low stuff.
[05:45.150 --> 05:48.290]  Fertility awareness has, you know, varying degrees of efficacy.
[05:48.570 --> 05:50.670]  Pulling out has varying degrees of efficacy.
[05:50.830 --> 05:52.470]  But I'm a big person who likes to...
[05:52.470 --> 05:54.110]  Likes to pile them onto each other.
[05:54.270 --> 05:56.090]  Like, I want to know what the studies are.
[05:56.090 --> 06:01.390]  How about fertility awareness with condoms, you know?
[06:01.590 --> 06:03.430]  What's the efficacy of you when you put them together?
[06:04.150 --> 06:04.930]  You can look it up.
[06:05.230 --> 06:07.110]  It's about the same as the pill.
[06:07.290 --> 06:08.570]  If you have self-control.
[06:08.970 --> 06:10.430]  Which is the big problem for most people.
[06:10.790 --> 06:10.970]  Yeah.
[06:11.070 --> 06:12.750]  There was a recent study done in Germany.
[06:13.350 --> 06:15.350]  With hundreds of a couple of thousands of cycles.
[06:15.790 --> 06:19.630]  And actually, it was about one or two percent failure.
[06:20.490 --> 06:21.550]  So there you go.
[06:21.690 --> 06:24.090]  Like I said, I'm really big on layering your methods.
[06:24.090 --> 06:26.290]  It's like, you know, why take risks?
[06:26.370 --> 06:27.510]  You know, that's always my thing.
[06:27.570 --> 06:28.130]  Why take risks?
[06:28.210 --> 06:29.650]  I mean, if you really don't want to get pregnant.
[06:30.670 --> 06:32.070]  If you really don't want to get an STD.
[06:32.170 --> 06:32.730]  Don't take the risk.
[06:32.850 --> 06:33.850]  It's just not worth it in the end.
[06:34.190 --> 06:35.130]  You can always go home.
[06:35.250 --> 06:36.030]  You can always masturbate.
[06:36.110 --> 06:37.310]  Yeah, sex with a partner is fun.
[06:37.430 --> 06:40.550]  But is it worth it if something really bad is going to happen?
[06:41.410 --> 06:43.050]  You know, that's your personal choice.
[06:43.110 --> 06:44.430]  I'm not going to say which way you should go on that.
[06:44.510 --> 06:45.830]  Because I have absolutely no right to tell you.
[06:46.010 --> 06:48.430]  But for me personally, I don't think it's worth the risk.
[06:51.330 --> 06:52.350]  So, any questions?
[06:52.710 --> 06:53.330]  Any discussions?
[06:55.130 --> 06:56.510]  You're all just sitting there listening.
[06:58.310 --> 06:58.710]  Stop.
[06:58.990 --> 06:59.070]  Listen.
[06:59.170 --> 07:00.370]  My voice is not that fascinating.
[07:00.630 --> 07:01.010]  There we go.
[07:02.210 --> 07:03.730]  Okay, I have to ask two things.
[07:03.930 --> 07:09.970]  One is, you earlier mentioned what sounded like a machine that could make you shoot lightning bolts from your hand.
[07:11.810 --> 07:14.590]  So, people are like, are that a superhero movie?
[07:15.630 --> 07:18.290]  It's not like, okay, it's not going to jump a gap like this.
[07:18.370 --> 07:19.390]  You're not going to be Emperor Palpatine.
[07:19.390 --> 07:20.270]  No.
[07:20.850 --> 07:22.110]  But wouldn't that be cool?
[07:23.270 --> 07:24.970]  Come to the dark side.
[07:25.610 --> 07:26.130]  No.
[07:27.550 --> 07:31.770]  It'll jump a gap, I don't know, what's that, about a centimeter?
[07:32.290 --> 07:35.030]  It's about a centimeter and it's a teeny little spark.
[07:35.750 --> 07:39.850]  Yeah, it's a tiny teensy weensy miniature little lightning bolt.
[07:40.010 --> 07:41.670]  It's no Emperor Palpatine kind of thing.
[07:41.870 --> 07:43.570]  And what I was talking about was a violet wand.
[07:44.530 --> 07:45.810]  So, does that answer your question?
[07:45.890 --> 07:46.050]  I'm sorry?
[07:47.070 --> 07:48.450]  What is the machine called?
[07:48.830 --> 07:51.070]  The machine, someone asked what the machine is called.
[07:51.130 --> 07:51.890]  It's called a violet wand.
[07:53.370 --> 07:54.250]  Violet or violet?
[07:54.830 --> 07:55.230]  Violet.
[07:55.430 --> 07:56.190]  Like the color.
[07:56.350 --> 07:57.170]  V-I-O-L-E-T.
[07:57.450 --> 07:58.930]  No, not violent wand.
[07:59.150 --> 07:59.350]  No.
[08:00.030 --> 08:01.110]  Not violent wand.
[08:01.550 --> 08:02.310]  Violet wand.
[08:03.050 --> 08:06.110]  The funny thing is, they've been using these for like centuries.
[08:06.290 --> 08:11.550]  Like you can get antique ones that they were using them for interesting quack medical purposes and stuff.
[08:11.770 --> 08:14.850]  So, with the older machines, you've got to be really careful though because the wiring might not be that good.
[08:14.950 --> 08:16.610]  You know, caveat emptor.
[08:17.170 --> 08:19.530]  But they've had them around for a very long time.
[08:20.630 --> 08:21.410]  Next question.
[08:22.190 --> 08:24.910]  Actually, I have a question and also a few book recommendations.
[08:25.130 --> 08:25.410]  Sure.
[08:26.470 --> 08:28.410]  I guess I'll start with the book recommendations.
[08:28.670 --> 08:29.030]  Go for it.
[08:29.290 --> 08:37.450]  A really great book that I read, I don't know if you read it or what you thought it was the disinformation, it was published by the disinformation literature.
[08:37.990 --> 08:39.790]  Everything you know about sex is wrong.
[08:40.250 --> 08:40.970]  I've never...
[08:40.970 --> 08:42.130]  I know their titles.
[08:42.330 --> 08:43.570]  I've never had a chance to look at that one.
[08:43.750 --> 08:45.430]  It's a really, really good book.
[08:45.650 --> 08:46.030]  Is it cool?
[08:46.410 --> 08:46.670]  Yeah.
[08:46.970 --> 08:47.350]  It's really good.
[08:47.410 --> 08:48.450]  It's got a lot of...
[08:48.950 --> 08:51.410]  I can't remember any of the authors made it off the top of my head.
[08:51.450 --> 08:51.810]  It's okay.
[08:52.430 --> 08:53.950]  But it's got a lot of really good...
[08:53.950 --> 08:55.470]  It's just, you know, like...
[08:55.990 --> 09:00.770]  It's in the format of like 50 to 100 short-ish articles.
[09:01.270 --> 09:01.630]  Interesting.
[09:01.950 --> 09:07.290]  Like about the length of like 2, 2600 articles about various topics related to sex.
[09:07.650 --> 09:08.010]  Fascinating.
[09:08.010 --> 09:08.710]  That's really cool.
[09:08.870 --> 09:11.050]  Oh, if I could just interject just for two seconds.
[09:11.550 --> 09:12.990]  You mentioned something that's kind of...
[09:12.990 --> 09:14.850]  This is totally off topic, my pet peeve of the comm.
[09:14.990 --> 09:15.950]  People, please go get sleep.
[09:16.770 --> 09:17.830]  You're gonna function better.
[09:17.910 --> 09:18.850]  You're gonna be happier.
[09:19.110 --> 09:20.390]  Things are gonna stick in your mind better.
[09:20.570 --> 09:21.690]  Get some sleep each day.
[09:22.110 --> 09:23.150]  Get plenty of liquids.
[09:23.350 --> 09:23.890]  Take a shower.
[09:24.170 --> 09:24.570]  Please.
[09:29.570 --> 09:31.190]  After this, go to bed.
[09:32.610 --> 09:33.430]  I'm your mom.
[09:33.690 --> 09:33.770]  No.
[09:34.370 --> 09:34.590]  Hey!
[09:34.870 --> 09:35.730]  Over two days.
[09:35.890 --> 09:36.730]  No, not pretty good.
[09:36.730 --> 09:37.570]  Over a day.
[09:37.750 --> 09:38.270]  That's okay.
[09:38.870 --> 09:39.470]  Anyways, go ahead.
[09:39.710 --> 09:40.970]  I'm being mom-ish here.
[09:41.110 --> 09:41.290]  Sorry.
[09:42.690 --> 09:44.910]  The other book is called The Ethical Slack.
[09:45.330 --> 09:46.350]  Oh, my God.
[09:46.350 --> 09:47.710]  I love that book.
[09:47.950 --> 09:48.930]  Oh, don't get me started.
[09:49.050 --> 09:49.330]  I had...
[09:49.330 --> 09:49.970]  Polyamory.
[09:50.450 --> 09:50.770]  Yes.
[09:50.950 --> 09:56.290]  It's about polyamory, open relationships, other ethical forms of sleeping around, which is something I didn't get to go into.
[09:56.430 --> 10:00.830]  And apparently somebody talked about on the informal track earlier today.
[10:00.830 --> 10:02.070]  And I wrote on it.
[10:02.190 --> 10:03.850]  Whoever gave this talk, please get in touch with me.
[10:03.930 --> 10:04.550]  I'd love to talk to you.
[10:04.810 --> 10:06.810]  But yes, if anybody has any...
[10:06.810 --> 10:08.230]  I personally am polyamorous.
[10:08.730 --> 10:13.210]  If anybody has any questions about that, and by God, for the love of God, go out and get The Ethical Slut.
[10:13.310 --> 10:16.650]  I have a number of the other... pretty much all the books in print on polyamory.
[10:17.470 --> 10:21.390]  And everyone says, well, The Ethical Slut's not... it's more about the sleeping around part.
[10:21.450 --> 10:22.750]  It's not about the whole love part.
[10:22.910 --> 10:24.610]  I've tried to read the books on the love part.
[10:27.470 --> 10:28.610]  They're... they're dry.
[10:29.330 --> 10:34.290]  One of them said something about, you can't really be polyamorous unless you're spiritual, which is in my appearance.
[10:34.650 --> 10:35.450]  Yes, thank you.
[10:35.630 --> 10:37.190]  Absolute bullshit, in my experience.
[10:37.370 --> 10:39.510]  Yes, you can be poly and be an atheist.
[10:39.690 --> 10:41.350]  There's plenty of poly atheists out there.
[10:42.890 --> 10:44.530]  Yes, that's the other one I was going to recommend.
[10:45.510 --> 10:46.470]  I like this guy.
[10:47.610 --> 10:51.310]  Yes, it's called Redefining Our Relationships by a woman named Wendy O'Matic.
[10:51.810 --> 10:54.990]  It's another good treatise on open relationships.
[10:55.370 --> 10:57.290]  I feel like she talks about love in that.
[10:57.570 --> 10:59.350]  She does talk about love in that, which is cool.
[10:59.550 --> 11:05.710]  She also has a really cool section, not written by her, but by one of her friends, about being poly with kids, which is a really neat section.
[11:05.770 --> 11:06.550]  I don't even have kids.
[11:06.570 --> 11:07.450]  I don't want to have kids.
[11:07.550 --> 11:08.590]  But it's still a really cool section.
[11:08.650 --> 11:09.370]  I really enjoyed it.
[11:10.330 --> 11:15.650]  So the last two books on the right here, one is a zine about making your own DIY sex toys.
[11:15.870 --> 11:16.590]  Oh, really?
[11:16.850 --> 11:17.530]  Do you remember what it's called?
[11:17.750 --> 11:18.170]  Oh, no.
[11:20.190 --> 11:22.850]  It's called DIY sex toys or something like that.
[11:23.330 --> 11:24.570]  It's a really...
[11:24.570 --> 11:25.090]  Is that...
[11:25.090 --> 11:26.690]  How have I not heard of this?
[11:27.770 --> 11:28.610]  Go f*ck yourself.
[11:28.890 --> 11:29.410]  That's right.
[11:29.530 --> 11:30.310]  It's called go f*ck...
[11:30.310 --> 11:31.670]  Oh, how wonderful.
[11:31.690 --> 11:33.030]  It's called go f*ck yourself.
[11:33.550 --> 11:34.830]  It's called go f*ck yourself.
[11:35.570 --> 11:36.310]  Oh, that's fantastic.
[11:36.970 --> 11:37.750]  Okay, you need to...
[11:37.750 --> 11:38.410]  I'm going to give you my email.
[11:38.510 --> 11:41.210]  You need to send me emails with this stuff, because this just makes me very happy.
[11:41.410 --> 11:41.530]  Yay.
[11:43.410 --> 11:44.850]  Seriously, when I talk about sex, I get bouncy.
[11:45.030 --> 11:45.370]  It happens.
[11:45.370 --> 11:46.670]  I was just really nervous over there.
[11:50.410 --> 11:51.130]  Who has it?
[11:54.660 --> 11:55.760]  It's a zine library?
[11:56.040 --> 11:56.300]  Yeah.
[11:56.600 --> 11:56.640]  Ooh.
[11:57.780 --> 11:58.180]  Cool.
[11:58.980 --> 12:00.140]  Oh, I'm going to Brooklyn tomorrow.
[12:00.280 --> 12:02.060]  There's one in Manhattan somewhere.
[12:02.160 --> 12:02.700]  Probably Belmont.
[12:02.960 --> 12:05.040]  Okay, he said there's a zine library in Manhattan somewhere.
[12:05.440 --> 12:06.280]  Library of Congress.
[12:06.700 --> 12:07.480]  Oh, duh.
[12:07.720 --> 12:08.140]  I live in DC.
[12:08.240 --> 12:08.720]  Library of Congress.
[12:08.840 --> 12:09.260]  Of course.
[12:10.940 --> 12:12.380]  Okay, last book.
[12:12.380 --> 12:14.340]  Yeah, so the last book is...
[12:14.340 --> 12:15.440]  Oh, yeah, okay.
[12:15.860 --> 12:19.720]  It's an erotica book by this wonderful author named Midori.
[12:20.680 --> 12:21.140]  Oh, my God.
[12:21.360 --> 12:21.960]  And it's from Ashton's Daughter.
[12:22.120 --> 12:23.120]  It's a psyched monk.
[12:23.280 --> 12:23.800]  I love.
[12:24.280 --> 12:24.640]  Love.
[12:24.740 --> 12:25.440]  Love Midori.
[12:25.560 --> 12:26.980]  You know, special interest actors.
[12:27.140 --> 12:28.420]  It all takes place in Neo, Tokyo.
[12:28.820 --> 12:32.200]  And there's, you know, like sex with robots and VR.
[12:32.200 --> 12:32.440]  It's...
[12:32.440 --> 12:33.340]  I have to admit.
[12:33.520 --> 12:34.180]  It's pretty great.
[12:34.220 --> 12:35.120]  I probably shouldn't admit this.
[12:35.200 --> 12:38.020]  I'm probably going to, you know, have the entire community down on my butt.
[12:38.020 --> 12:40.040]  But I worked at a gay bookstore for a while.
[12:40.680 --> 12:42.500]  And the cover of it just turned me off.
[12:42.700 --> 12:43.300]  I felt...
[12:43.300 --> 12:45.940]  I don't want to insult anybody who ever did the cover.
[12:46.080 --> 12:49.360]  But I just think that she's a fantastic writer.
[12:49.560 --> 12:50.100]  I've read...
[12:50.100 --> 12:50.680]  She also...
[12:50.680 --> 12:51.720]  She's written a number of books.
[12:51.840 --> 12:52.660]  Wild Side Sex.
[12:52.680 --> 12:53.280]  I believe it's called.
[12:53.360 --> 12:54.100]  I haven't actually read that one.
[12:54.400 --> 12:55.280]  She did the...
[12:55.280 --> 12:56.440]  What the hell is that noise?
[12:56.620 --> 13:00.980]  She did the Toy Bag Guide on shoe fetishes and foot fetishes.
[13:01.220 --> 13:04.380]  And it was done in a way for people who aren't even fetishes that can get something out of it.
[13:05.000 --> 13:06.800]  I'm absolutely blown away by her writing style.
[13:06.800 --> 13:07.400]  She's wonderful.
[13:07.620 --> 13:11.300]  But I felt the cover of the book really would turn people off.
[13:11.440 --> 13:12.840]  It wouldn't get people into reading it.
[13:12.960 --> 13:13.640]  Is it really good?
[13:14.060 --> 13:14.800]  It's... yeah.
[13:15.260 --> 13:15.720]  Oh, great.
[13:15.880 --> 13:16.000]  Okay.
[13:16.080 --> 13:16.720]  I gotta go get that one.
[13:16.940 --> 13:18.020]  I mean, it's like...
[13:18.020 --> 13:20.620]  It's like erotica in the, like, William Gibson...
[13:20.620 --> 13:21.400]  Okay.
[13:21.760 --> 13:22.240]  I've...
[13:22.240 --> 13:23.940]  William Gibson, he wrote Neuromancer?
[13:24.080 --> 13:24.240]  Yeah.
[13:24.500 --> 13:24.760]  Okay.
[13:25.080 --> 13:25.540]  Cool.
[13:27.060 --> 13:28.040]  There's another book.
[13:28.180 --> 13:38.680]  There's a woman named Cecilia Tan who basically started writing and publishing sci-fi erotica, and especially BDSM sci-fi erotica before it was available.
[13:38.900 --> 13:43.520]  The first thing that she made up was just printed out herself was a little chapbook called...
[13:44.060 --> 13:46.200]  I think it's called Telepaths Don't Need Safe Words.
[13:46.700 --> 13:48.920]  This woman, basically, she's...
[13:48.920 --> 13:52.360]  In a way, she's kind of my hero when it comes to, like, fandom sexuality and stuff like that.
[13:52.500 --> 13:56.040]  She would, in high school, dress up as Han Solo, even with the blaster guns.
[13:56.040 --> 13:58.160]  And, like, the teachers would give her hell for carrying around.
[13:58.260 --> 14:00.000]  She's like, dude, I'm the class valedictorian.
[14:00.020 --> 14:00.980]  Don't give me shit for this.
[14:01.360 --> 14:03.460]  And she started her own press called Circlet Press.
[14:03.460 --> 14:10.320]  So, if you're into sci-fi erotica, if you're into sci-fi BDSM erotica, horror erotica, stuff like that, go check them out.
[14:10.400 --> 14:11.260]  They are wonderful.
[14:11.420 --> 14:12.560]  They are out of Cambridge, Massachusetts.
[14:14.160 --> 14:16.040]  So, this is my last thing to say, and then I'll stop.
[14:16.220 --> 14:17.060]  Oh, okay.
[14:17.940 --> 14:19.700]  I was... do you know anything about...
[14:20.380 --> 14:23.720]  I heard a while ago that they were... they had come out with a male birth control?
[14:24.440 --> 14:28.060]  Like, some sort of male birth control bill, but I don't know if it ever got approved by the FDA, which...
[14:28.060 --> 14:30.640]  They've been working on male birth control for a long time.
[14:31.180 --> 14:31.980]  It's not going to be that hard.
[14:32.960 --> 14:33.920]  It is, unfortunately.
[14:34.040 --> 14:35.260]  And I forget the reasons why.
[14:35.720 --> 14:42.480]  But, just specifically because of the way that testosterone works and the way that sperm production works, it is that hard, unfortunately.
[14:43.680 --> 14:45.240]  And I think part of it is...
[14:45.580 --> 14:51.040]  This is just me trying to pull this out of the cobwebs of my mind with, you know, a little sleep and not feeling so well, but...
[14:51.700 --> 14:53.320]  I think it has to do with...
[14:53.320 --> 14:57.820]  Yeah, you can get men not to... you know, not to be fertile, but then they can't get it up.
[14:58.080 --> 14:59.160]  I think it's the problem.
[14:59.820 --> 15:00.620]  Or... I'm sorry?
[15:03.520 --> 15:05.080]  Oh, you said Viagra.
[15:06.600 --> 15:07.620]  I know that there are issues.
[15:07.720 --> 15:08.400]  I forget what they are.
[15:08.420 --> 15:14.120]  I probably said that wrong, and if anybody else knows what it actually is, please step up to the mic and tell me, because, you know, like I said, I scripted you.
[15:14.540 --> 15:15.020]  I'm sorry?
[15:15.300 --> 15:16.240]  Issues as far as what?
[15:18.320 --> 15:21.260]  Issues with male birth control, they just... they can't get it to work right.
[15:21.500 --> 15:29.440]  Oh yeah, well it's mainly because, like you said, it all won't interact with the way that you end up with reptile issues, or you end up with dry issues.
[15:29.840 --> 15:31.300]  I'm sorry, you end up with what issues or...
[15:31.300 --> 15:34.040]  Actually, do you mind going up to the mic and saying this, just so it gets recorded?
[15:34.540 --> 15:38.200]  So that I don't actually have to repeat that all of it back into the mic, because I want to make sure it does get recorded.
[15:56.570 --> 15:58.150]  Yeah, I'm well aware of this.
[15:59.050 --> 15:59.970]  No, it's not.
[16:00.630 --> 16:04.870]  Everyone thinks that guys are going to walk around with boners all the time if they take Viag, which isn't true.
[16:05.230 --> 16:08.050]  You've got to have the will for it to go up.
[16:08.870 --> 16:11.190]  Oh, some general comments that we were saying in the room.
[16:12.090 --> 16:12.450]  Sure.
[16:14.030 --> 16:18.870]  You're discussing the whole issue of, of, of, of animal stimulation.
[16:19.150 --> 16:19.450]  Mm-hmm.
[16:19.670 --> 16:36.430]  Now, one thing that women may find interesting, I guess some guys also made it, because I'm doing this other thing as well, is that for people who are just squeamish or whatever to do the finger up, finger up the boob all deal, you can get some of the same benefits by stimulating the perineum.
[16:36.870 --> 16:37.110]  Mm-hmm.
[16:37.190 --> 16:40.590]  Which is a little patch, people call the paint, or...
[16:40.590 --> 16:41.930]  I hate that word, I hate that word.
[16:41.930 --> 16:44.150]  Whatever it is, I would not use it.
[16:44.190 --> 16:48.230]  If you watch Jackass, they call it, they call it the gooch.
[16:48.430 --> 16:49.810]  If you notice, it's a sort of a trick to Jackass.
[16:50.430 --> 16:57.530]  It's basically in scientific terms, it's the place between the vagina and the anus or the scrotum and the anus.
[16:57.550 --> 16:57.770]  Exactly.
[16:58.110 --> 16:59.270]  What's the technical term?
[17:00.050 --> 17:00.410]  Perineum.
[17:00.630 --> 17:01.510]  Or perineum.
[17:01.710 --> 17:03.350]  I always pronounce perineum.
[17:03.490 --> 17:05.110]  I've had other people say, no, it's perineum.
[17:05.210 --> 17:05.770]  I don't know.
[17:05.910 --> 17:07.470]  I just, I've just seen it written, you know?
[17:07.490 --> 17:10.970]  In fact, it's putting pressure in that area, will put pressure on the prostate externally.
[17:11.090 --> 17:11.130]  Mm-hmm.
[17:11.930 --> 17:14.710]  It's probably not as effective, but it works quite well.
[17:15.030 --> 17:19.690]  Another point is another sexual machine would be the AccuJack, which went out for many years.
[17:19.690 --> 17:21.190]  I'm sorry, can you slow that down and say that again?
[17:21.330 --> 17:23.750]  The AccuJack is another machine that is not for years.
[17:23.850 --> 17:25.650]  It has both male and female attachments.
[17:25.690 --> 17:29.730]  It uses compressed air to operate from a set of wires, so probably it's safer.
[17:30.870 --> 17:33.590]  Can't speak for it personally, but it looks interesting.
[17:34.090 --> 17:34.810]  That's cool.
[17:35.030 --> 17:44.950]  I watched recently, it was a, I think it was, I've recently been TVOing both real sex and wired for sex, and I've been watching them together, so I don't always remember which is on which, but I watched one on f*cking machines.
[17:45.210 --> 17:56.210]  And one of the things was basically like, like kind of a penis pump tube with stuff on the inside that was hooked up with wires in such a way so that when the man thrusts, it will affect the vibrator on the other end.
[17:56.310 --> 18:00.230]  Even if it's, you know, all the way across the Internet and he'll thrust and she'll feel something in the vibrator.
[18:00.230 --> 18:02.610]  So it's actually interactive and just really cool.
[18:02.850 --> 18:07.770]  Yeah, there isn't a pair of devices like that they were talking about at home.
[18:07.770 --> 18:11.450]  I don't know how well they worked out in the real world, but I'm talking that some years back.
[18:11.990 --> 18:22.110]  Also, not really terribly too relevant, but as far as the, the gay males of the culture and the hanky codes, in my understanding, they mostly went out of favor years ago.
[18:22.270 --> 18:23.650]  People just talk directly.
[18:23.950 --> 18:26.550]  There are some people who still use them, some people who don't.
[18:27.250 --> 18:28.730]  Dark bars is hard to see.
[18:32.070 --> 18:34.810]  Can you step up to a mic to say that, just so that we get the...
[18:35.850 --> 18:37.990]  Some places they do, some places they don't.
[18:38.130 --> 18:43.550]  I am in the queer community and I've definitely seen them used, but it's not used the way it used to be, unfortunately.
[18:43.690 --> 18:46.030]  Yeah, it wouldn't be so much, because you don't need to be the book directly for them.
[18:46.070 --> 18:50.290]  You were asking about me, I did the bed talk earlier in the Zeus room about hacking relationships.
[18:50.710 --> 18:51.290]  Oh, cool.
[18:51.330 --> 18:51.610]  Hi.
[18:51.770 --> 18:52.210]  We should talk.
[18:52.410 --> 18:52.730]  Hi.
[18:53.730 --> 18:58.510]  Oh, if you want to go ahead, if you want to talk, if you want to make some comments on polyamory or something, please, feel free.
[18:58.510 --> 19:04.770]  I didn't do anything on polyamory during my thing.
[19:04.870 --> 19:06.510]  I had no time to go into relationships at all.
[19:06.570 --> 19:08.170]  So I'm glad you talked about it.
[19:08.170 --> 19:09.530]  Yeah, it was good times.
[19:09.910 --> 19:17.230]  I didn't really prepare for it, but I had, like, my main squeeze here, so it went pretty well.
[19:17.350 --> 19:19.950]  And the secondary squeeze isn't here, but yeah, whatever.
[19:19.950 --> 19:20.710]  It happened.
[19:21.970 --> 19:24.090]  Yeah, it was... I don't know.
[19:25.090 --> 19:27.030]  God, it keeps late in the day when it gets tired.
[19:27.930 --> 19:29.230]  But I'm sorry.
[19:29.650 --> 19:32.090]  Did you do one of these at the last...
[19:32.090 --> 19:33.950]  I did one of these the last time two years ago.
[19:34.110 --> 19:36.470]  I covered some of the material, but not other pieces of the material.
[19:36.810 --> 19:37.070]  Okay.
[19:37.470 --> 19:39.290]  And teledildonics.
[19:39.490 --> 19:40.530]  It's just such a good word.
[19:40.610 --> 19:41.590]  You've got to use the word.
[19:42.030 --> 19:45.690]  See, I prefer techno, because not all teledildonics deal with tele.
[19:47.830 --> 19:48.630]  Yeah, but...
[19:48.630 --> 19:49.430]  Some does.
[19:49.650 --> 19:51.870]  And for the ones that do, I'll call it that.
[19:52.430 --> 19:55.730]  It's pretty weird.
[19:55.950 --> 19:56.250]  It's just...
[19:56.250 --> 19:57.210]  Just flowers.
[19:57.750 --> 19:58.230]  Blossoms.
[19:58.550 --> 19:59.110]  And a little bit of something.
[19:59.330 --> 20:00.910]  It just rolls off the tongue.
[20:01.910 --> 20:03.310]  In so many ways.
[20:03.550 --> 20:04.170]  Sort of like...
[20:05.630 --> 20:06.670]  Sort of like...
[20:06.670 --> 20:06.810]  Sort of like...
[20:07.970 --> 20:08.450]  Teledildonics.
[20:08.450 --> 20:08.550]  Teledildonics.
[20:11.110 --> 20:11.590]  Perineum.
[20:11.950 --> 20:12.030]  Yeah.
[20:12.850 --> 20:15.210]  Did anybody here play SimCity 2000?
[20:16.250 --> 20:16.470]  Yeah.
[20:16.690 --> 20:16.930]  Yeah.
[20:17.170 --> 20:22.150]  When you were generating a landform, there was that lady's voice that went, reticulating splines.
[20:22.370 --> 20:23.910]  I will never forget that.
[20:26.870 --> 20:27.350]  Okay.
[20:27.970 --> 20:31.550]  So there would have been a lot better of a Segway, like, two people ago.
[20:31.690 --> 20:32.330]  That's all right.
[20:32.510 --> 20:33.290]  F*ck Segways.
[20:33.970 --> 20:36.310]  Covers that are turning off to a book.
[20:36.890 --> 20:38.590]  So going back to the ethical slut...
[20:39.370 --> 20:40.270]  It's a weird cover.
[20:40.530 --> 20:41.110]  Yeah, it is.
[20:41.210 --> 20:42.030]  It's a weird cover.
[20:42.030 --> 20:42.390]  So...
[20:44.210 --> 20:46.170]  I'm kind of wondering...
[20:46.170 --> 20:47.090]  You mentioned one book.
[20:47.250 --> 20:48.670]  I believe something...
[20:48.670 --> 20:49.090]  Relationships.
[20:49.250 --> 20:50.350]  Redefining our relationships?
[20:51.190 --> 20:52.250]  I'm wondering if they're...
[20:52.250 --> 20:54.890]  Because the ethical slut also has a very, like...
[20:54.890 --> 20:56.310]  We're old hippies vibe.
[20:57.790 --> 20:59.410]  Which might have turned people off.
[20:59.490 --> 21:01.410]  But I'm wondering if you know of other books that sound...
[21:01.410 --> 21:06.390]  That come across as a bit more appealing to younger generation people that...
[21:06.390 --> 21:09.370]  I never got that vibe from the ethical slut, but I could see how someone could.
[21:11.050 --> 21:13.690]  To my knowledge, these are the books that are in print.
[21:13.830 --> 21:14.770]  I'm polyamory today.
[21:15.790 --> 21:16.370]  The ethical slut.
[21:17.050 --> 21:19.150]  Redefining our relationships may or may not be.
[21:19.830 --> 21:22.630]  Basically, any time I find it in a bookstore, I pick up copies.
[21:22.630 --> 21:24.370]  Just in case it's not.
[21:24.530 --> 21:25.750]  Because I don't think it is.
[21:26.090 --> 21:33.150]  That book has more of a radical left, DIY, almost anarchist kind of feel to it.
[21:33.270 --> 21:36.010]  It's certainly appropriate for people who don't swing that way.
[21:37.090 --> 21:40.870]  But it's just the community from which the person came from.
[21:41.110 --> 21:43.010]  There is one called...
[21:44.270 --> 21:45.730]  Gosh, it's by Deborah Annapal.
[21:48.670 --> 21:50.830]  It's Polyamory, The New Love Without Limits.
[21:51.990 --> 21:53.930]  And I couldn't get through it.
[21:54.010 --> 21:55.990]  I have to admit, I could not get through it.
[21:56.030 --> 22:00.330]  This was the person who basically said that, yeah, you really have to have spirituality to be poly.
[22:00.470 --> 22:02.590]  And I'm just like, okay, whatever.
[22:04.570 --> 22:08.590]  There's one called by Anthony Ravencroft.
[22:09.570 --> 22:12.490]  It's Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful.
[22:12.590 --> 22:13.710]  I love that title.
[22:14.490 --> 22:16.570]  Because I can be clueless at times.
[22:18.810 --> 22:21.610]  It's also a bit dense at times.
[22:21.830 --> 22:26.330]  It's a conversational style, but it's not nearly as easy of a read as an ethical slut.
[22:26.330 --> 22:29.630]  And, like I said, I worked in a gay bookstore and we carried a bunch of these books.
[22:29.710 --> 22:32.670]  And as far as I know, those are the only books in print to this day.
[22:33.170 --> 22:33.850]  Opening up.
[22:34.010 --> 22:34.570]  Opening up?
[22:34.670 --> 22:35.350]  What's that one?
[22:35.450 --> 22:35.790]  I'm sorry.
[22:36.050 --> 22:39.250]  Can you step up to the mic or yell it louder so I can...
[22:39.250 --> 22:39.490]  Thank you.
[22:39.830 --> 22:41.510]  How pagan is open.
[22:41.970 --> 22:44.420]  Oh yeah, there is one for pagan polyamory.
[22:45.010 --> 22:48.450]  I forget who writes it, but I'm just talking about general ones if you're not into the whole pagan thing.
[22:48.450 --> 22:48.850]  Okay, go ahead.
[22:49.030 --> 22:50.050]  Hi, I'm Vivian.
[22:50.290 --> 22:50.410]  Hi.
[22:50.470 --> 22:52.850]  I have a blog about sex and sexuality.
[22:53.070 --> 22:53.390]  Cool.
[22:53.750 --> 22:57.370]  Opening up is Tristan Taramino's new book about polyamory.
[22:57.570 --> 22:58.170]  Oh, cool.
[22:58.250 --> 22:58.690]  I hadn't heard of it.
[22:58.730 --> 23:01.750]  So it's based on about 100 interviews.
[23:02.030 --> 23:03.830]  The website is openingup.net.
[23:03.950 --> 23:05.190]  She's doing a book tour now.
[23:05.370 --> 23:05.690]  Wonderful.
[23:06.010 --> 23:10.290]  Also, Anita Wagner's blog, Practical Polyamory.
[23:10.750 --> 23:12.230]  I think I've heard of her.
[23:12.310 --> 23:13.350]  Is she kind of an older lady?
[23:13.870 --> 23:14.070]  Yeah.
[23:14.230 --> 23:14.670]  Gray's hair?
[23:15.350 --> 23:15.590]  I...
[23:15.590 --> 23:16.610]  The Dark Odyssey one.
[23:17.030 --> 23:17.890]  Yeah, there's...
[23:17.890 --> 23:18.790]  Which Dark Odyssey?
[23:18.950 --> 23:19.930]  Which year do you know?
[23:20.030 --> 23:21.270]  Winterfire last year.
[23:21.310 --> 23:22.270]  Winterfire last year, okay.
[23:22.490 --> 23:23.570]  I was a Winterfire this year.
[23:23.970 --> 23:34.150]  And there's Cunny Minks' podcast, Polyamory Weekly, which is polyweekly.net, I think.
[23:34.610 --> 23:35.050]  Wonderful.
[23:35.290 --> 23:37.190]  If you go to Cunny Minks, you'll find it.
[23:37.290 --> 23:44.510]  So she has a podcast where she takes phone-ins and she's got a very active blog and also a blog journal.
[23:44.770 --> 23:45.870]  And she's also on Twitter.
[23:46.410 --> 23:46.610]  Okay.
[23:46.850 --> 23:47.110]  Wonderful.
[23:47.350 --> 23:47.670]  Thank you.
[23:49.570 --> 23:50.130]  Hi.
[23:50.410 --> 23:50.930]  Hi.
[23:51.810 --> 23:53.590]  So, getting back to the basics.
[23:54.070 --> 23:54.470]  Okay.
[23:55.050 --> 23:55.930]  Basics are good.
[23:56.190 --> 24:06.690]  I understand from a lot of articles and research that many women have issue with orgasms of the Daring Camera course.
[24:06.890 --> 24:07.410]  Okay.
[24:08.130 --> 24:15.550]  Whether it be just the way they're built, medication, stress of life, you know, etc.
[24:15.850 --> 24:16.930]  Any number of reasons.
[24:17.530 --> 24:18.850]  I'm aware of this issue.
[24:19.730 --> 24:20.330]  Yes.
[24:20.530 --> 24:20.970]  Yes.
[24:21.450 --> 24:30.950]  So, I wonder if you could highlight some things that you have experienced or have knowledge of that would help this issue.
[24:30.950 --> 24:31.810]  Certainly.
[24:33.650 --> 24:34.510]  Let's see here.
[24:34.610 --> 24:35.370]  Where should I start?
[24:36.750 --> 24:38.070]  Sometimes it's just the way you're built.
[24:38.350 --> 24:45.990]  It's where the clitoris is and if it's being rubbed or bumped into while you're having sex or not depending on the position.
[24:46.170 --> 24:50.510]  If you can find one that rubs your clitoris while you're having intercourse, it's helpful.
[24:50.930 --> 24:52.030]  I like big guys.
[24:52.310 --> 24:53.390]  I'm bi.
[24:53.670 --> 24:54.330]  I like big guys.
[24:54.450 --> 24:54.910]  I like big girls.
[24:55.050 --> 24:55.810]  It's just the way I swing.
[24:55.810 --> 25:01.670]  And I found with big guys oftentimes that your belly, their bellies will bump my clitoris, which feels really good.
[25:01.930 --> 25:05.050]  So, you know, which sometimes just doesn't happen with the skinnier men.
[25:05.550 --> 25:06.470]  This is my preference.
[25:08.030 --> 25:09.150]  Try different positions.
[25:09.650 --> 25:12.650]  Do not be afraid to get out the sex toys while f*cking this.
[25:12.750 --> 25:16.690]  Something I forgot to mention earlier and I wish I would have because the greater audience needs to hear this.
[25:17.110 --> 25:20.410]  Bringing sex toys into the bedroom while f*cking doesn't mean you're not a good lay.
[25:20.810 --> 25:22.550]  It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.
[25:22.710 --> 25:29.830]  Hell, it means you are a good lay because you're getting over your hang-ups and you're doing whatever it takes to have a good time and to feel pleasure.
[25:30.050 --> 25:33.690]  I also probably should have mentioned that, and I'm not putting down an orgasm.
[25:33.770 --> 25:35.310]  I'm definitely going to continue answering what you're saying.
[25:35.450 --> 25:37.570]  But orgasm is not the be-all, end-all of pleasure.
[25:38.010 --> 25:40.770]  For years, I had the hardest time because I wasn't orgasming.
[25:41.130 --> 25:43.710]  And it was driving me f*cking batshit.
[25:43.930 --> 25:47.630]  And now that I do orgasm, I can let myself go, you know what?
[25:47.630 --> 25:54.150]  The way we're f*cking right now, we're tired or whatever's happening, I'm just not going to come and that's okay because I'm really enjoying the f*cking that we are having.
[25:55.410 --> 25:56.050]  Sex toys.
[25:56.330 --> 25:59.030]  I was having actually problems with this with my current partner.
[25:59.310 --> 26:08.310]  And I was poly and my other partner said, yeah, go ahead and while you're f*cking, put the Hitachi magic wand on your clitoris while he f*cks you.
[26:08.470 --> 26:09.450]  And yeah, it worked pretty well.
[26:10.710 --> 26:15.090]  So I definitely basically do what some women reach down and play with their clitoris with their fingers.
[26:15.090 --> 26:17.070]  That doesn't work for me, but it works for a lot of women.
[26:18.770 --> 26:28.850]  Basically, do what, once you figure out how to work with your clitoris to make yourself cum, figure out a way to do that while you're having sex.
[26:29.370 --> 26:31.290]  That, whatever position you want.
[26:31.570 --> 26:37.670]  And sometimes I also remember that, you know, sex during, sex during penile-vaginal intercourse is great.
[26:38.030 --> 26:41.850]  I'm sorry, orgasm during penile-vaginal intercourse is great.
[26:41.850 --> 26:52.110]  But there's one thing I've learned from having a lot of girl-on-girls-lesbian sex is that oftentimes with lesbians, they will, the one girl will get off and then the other girl will get off.
[26:52.210 --> 26:56.430]  You can take your turns and it doesn't always have to be, you know, I have to orgasm having this kind of sex.
[26:56.430 --> 26:58.750]  It's really great to just be like, hey, I had an orgasm.
[26:58.890 --> 27:01.470]  I mean, I will use my vibrator.
[27:01.570 --> 27:02.390]  I will masturbate.
[27:02.410 --> 27:07.390]  And I will have my partner sometimes just touch me or be there or talk to me or say dirty things to me or whatever.
[27:07.450 --> 27:12.010]  And it will get me off and I will roll over and I will thank them for the orgasm because they helped.
[27:12.170 --> 27:12.710]  They participated.
[27:12.710 --> 27:12.810]  They participated.
[27:14.970 --> 27:15.450]  Sure.
[27:17.730 --> 27:20.430]  Just to address that point from the guys perspective.
[27:20.790 --> 27:20.850]  Sure.
[27:20.870 --> 27:20.970]  Okay.
[27:21.250 --> 27:32.190]  So I think a problem with a lot of them is just that, I don't know, I've met a lot of girls or have been with girls that have not orgasmed or experienced many orgasms with previous guys.
[27:32.350 --> 27:35.710]  And I really think guys, just be more attentive.
[27:36.110 --> 27:47.130]  And girls, don't be afraid to say, hey, you're not paying any attention to me because I've just found that being really, really attentive and really like trying to communicate.
[27:47.430 --> 27:49.410]  I've gotten something fun.
[27:50.830 --> 27:52.350]  I don't want to sound like...
[27:52.350 --> 27:53.070]  No, it's okay.
[27:53.230 --> 27:54.770]  This is a safe place to talk about this stuff.
[27:54.970 --> 28:04.850]  My previous girlfriend, like she went from having three orgasms before me with like seven partners to having almost every day or every other day.
[28:05.170 --> 28:07.890]  So just be attentive and you know.
[28:08.510 --> 28:10.570]  This is also, this is a very important point.
[28:11.230 --> 28:15.170]  As a corollary to this, I've also had partners that are like, you know, I want to get you off.
[28:15.250 --> 28:15.850]  That's what I'm into.
[28:15.930 --> 28:16.530]  I want to get you off.
[28:16.650 --> 28:17.110]  You're happy.
[28:17.170 --> 28:17.650]  It's important to me.
[28:17.770 --> 28:22.550]  And if you're having problems orgasming, this doesn't help at all.
[28:22.710 --> 28:24.050]  Because then you're like, oh, I got to come in.
[28:24.110 --> 28:25.370]  It just adds more pressure to it.
[28:25.390 --> 28:27.550]  And sometimes you're just like, I know you like getting me off.
[28:27.590 --> 28:28.570]  I know you like making me happy.
[28:28.590 --> 28:31.050]  But remember, I can be happy without getting off.
[28:31.190 --> 28:33.930]  Just don't try so hard at it.
[28:34.010 --> 28:35.370]  It's important to be attentive.
[28:36.390 --> 28:39.810]  And as I said, sometimes I'm all about taking turns in the bedroom.
[28:39.810 --> 28:41.730]  I have attention deficit disorder.
[28:41.970 --> 28:43.570]  It does affect my sex life.
[28:43.790 --> 28:46.050]  I can get distracted even while having sex.
[28:46.190 --> 28:48.990]  It's got to be really mind blowing for me to be able to stay completely focused.
[28:49.850 --> 28:53.210]  So I'm okay with, all right, we'll get you off this time and we'll get me off later.
[28:53.390 --> 28:55.150]  Or we'll get me off this time and okay, I'm about to come.
[28:55.250 --> 28:57.230]  So we're going to get me off and then we'll get you off later.
[28:57.310 --> 28:58.950]  I'm a big proponent of taking turns.
[28:59.470 --> 29:00.750]  We learned about it in kindergarten.
[29:00.750 --> 29:01.490]  It's good stuff.
[29:16.990 --> 29:18.330]  So sharing is a good thing?
[29:18.570 --> 29:19.750]  Sharing is a very good thing.
[29:20.890 --> 29:21.890]  Sharing is for some people.
[29:22.030 --> 29:23.930]  Sharing is not for other people when it comes to partners.
[29:23.930 --> 29:26.830]  But some people are probably, some people aren't.
[29:26.910 --> 29:27.210]  It's okay.
[29:28.210 --> 29:29.370]  I have a question.
[29:29.770 --> 29:29.910]  Okay.
[29:30.630 --> 29:39.290]  You know, as a hacker and as an ex-raver, you know, like, we always worry about, you know, if we're going to get nailed by the law.
[29:39.290 --> 29:39.830]  Okay.
[29:39.970 --> 29:43.990]  And I used to live down in Texas and I remember that there was a, there was a sovereignty case.
[29:44.370 --> 30:03.210]  You know, and like, is there any tips or anything like that you can say that, you know, I'm not going to get busted by the cops if I try to get, oh, yeah, let me go to one of these, let me go to one of these things as a, as a, as a branch out of my sexual experience and then,
[30:03.430 --> 30:06.890]  and then, you know, top walk in and, you know, bust everybody in the law.
[30:06.890 --> 30:16.170]  Um, to be honest with you, um, I live in the state that I live in intentionally because it has open, more open text laws and because it has more open laws in general.
[30:16.450 --> 30:21.910]  Um, I, I'm, I'm a big fan of, uh, you know, like living in a state where your laws are what you want them to be.
[30:22.110 --> 30:24.170]  So I don't have much experience with this.
[30:24.350 --> 30:33.550]  Um, I do know a little bit about something about Texas laws because there's a wonderful documentary out there which I would love to get a copy of and if, so, shameless plug, if anyone wanted to buy it for me, that'd be okay.
[30:33.550 --> 30:36.530]  Um, it's called the dildo diaries.
[30:36.650 --> 30:49.730]  And apparently, um, in Texas, if you, I'm sorry about going off subject here for a bit, but, um, if you own six or more dildos, you are, you are assumed that you have intent to distribute them and you can get into your trouble with the law.
[30:49.850 --> 30:53.230]  However, if you have five or less, you are merely a hobbyist and this is okay.
[30:56.030 --> 30:56.590]  Um...
[30:56.590 --> 30:57.910]  What goes beyond?
[30:58.630 --> 31:04.730]  Do you think of someone's novelties or as, um, representational models?
[31:05.010 --> 31:08.890]  Um, you can't talk about having, uh, using a dildo.
[31:09.030 --> 31:13.230]  They are educational models that are used to educate people in proper condom use.
[31:13.490 --> 31:14.810]  Um, ways to not get caught.
[31:15.110 --> 31:17.410]  Um, I'm basically in short ways to not get caught.
[31:19.330 --> 31:21.410]  Um, I'm just thinking off the top of my head.
[31:21.850 --> 31:25.810]  Um, don't, you know, don't scream at the top of your lungs at 3 a.m.
[31:26.050 --> 31:30.130]  Um, but there's also, um, the best thing to do honestly though is, um...
[31:30.130 --> 31:31.070]  Offsite backups.
[31:33.110 --> 31:33.750]  Offsite backups.
[31:33.970 --> 31:34.290]  Yes.
[31:34.650 --> 31:34.790]  No.
[31:39.180 --> 31:43.460]  Um, possibly the, um, like, as I said that there are BDSM groups in every area.
[31:43.600 --> 31:47.420]  Even if you're not into BDSM, these people definitely would know, would know the laws better than this.
[31:47.420 --> 31:50.600]  There's also a wonderful, wonderful group called the NCSF.
[31:50.700 --> 31:52.600]  The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
[31:53.320 --> 31:57.420]  These people work with the laws, uh, fight to get the better laws.
[31:57.600 --> 32:01.900]  These people would know the laws in your area and would be able to tell you, um, things that you could...
[32:01.900 --> 32:07.020]  Basically the NCSF is to the sex world that the EFF is to the electronic world, the hacking world.
[32:07.120 --> 32:09.920]  They are a great group to go to for these kind of things.
[32:10.260 --> 32:10.660]  Okay.
[32:10.900 --> 32:11.460]  Thank you very much.
[32:11.540 --> 32:12.020]  Oh, you're welcome.
[32:16.310 --> 32:18.050]  Um, going back to teledonics.
[32:18.050 --> 32:22.190]  You mentioned there were ones that sort of were programmable, even through email.
[32:22.630 --> 32:22.650]  Mm-hmm.
[32:23.470 --> 32:24.810]  What were those?
[32:25.030 --> 32:29.170]  Um, the one specifically that has the favorite setting is the...
[32:29.170 --> 32:29.930]  Where's my thing?
[32:30.150 --> 32:30.610]  Oh, oh, well.
[32:30.950 --> 32:32.050]  It's the, um...
[32:32.950 --> 32:35.630]  Okay, I just looked at the manual today at Babeland.
[32:35.850 --> 32:35.970]  Crap.
[32:36.330 --> 32:38.850]  Um, it's either the Juju or the Sassi.
[32:39.710 --> 32:40.490]  And it's...
[32:40.490 --> 32:41.370]  No, it's the Sassi.
[32:41.550 --> 32:42.470]  S-A-S-I.
[32:43.050 --> 32:44.390]  Um, the...
[32:44.390 --> 32:45.630]  Both S's are capitalized.
[32:45.730 --> 32:46.190]  It's one word.
[32:46.350 --> 32:48.710]  And it is by the company that is by JeJoue.
[32:49.350 --> 32:52.490]  J-E, capital J-O-U-E.
[32:53.410 --> 32:53.850]  JeJoue.
[32:54.030 --> 32:55.550]  And there's just one other thing that mentioned this.
[32:55.630 --> 32:59.470]  A three-speed community I found online for sort of building your own called SlashDong.
[33:00.230 --> 33:00.610]  It's funny.
[33:00.690 --> 33:02.070]  I was gonna mention them and I forgot to.
[33:02.230 --> 33:02.430]  Yes.
[33:02.610 --> 33:03.610]  SlashDong is great.
[33:03.890 --> 33:05.970]  Anyone here interested in that would probably like that.
[33:05.970 --> 33:06.770]  Yeah, Slash...
[33:06.770 --> 33:12.650]  I remember reading once that they were trying to make an open-source protocol for sex toys, for anyone to be able to use.
[33:12.830 --> 33:14.150]  I thought that was absolutely awesome.
[33:17.270 --> 33:17.990]  Closer to the mic.
[33:18.650 --> 33:21.330]  First, I mentioned before about eroticism.
[33:21.570 --> 33:21.890]  Mm-hmm.
[33:21.890 --> 33:23.870]  So you said anything like a website or something like that?
[33:24.010 --> 33:25.390]  Yeah, I can give you a whole list of links.
[33:25.990 --> 33:26.170]  Oh.
[33:26.470 --> 33:27.450]  Do you have an email address?
[33:28.050 --> 33:28.450]  Certainly.
[33:28.450 --> 33:29.490]  I can definitely do that.
[33:29.650 --> 33:36.570]  As I said earlier, as people were leaving, I'm going to put a whole list of links up on c4bl3fL4m3.googlepages.com.
[33:36.570 --> 33:40.210]  As I said, right now, it's just a whole bunch of BS that I put up there with the HD DVD key.
[33:40.650 --> 33:42.210]  Because at the time, that was the big thing.
[33:44.310 --> 33:46.310]  But yeah, there are a wide variety of links.
[33:46.470 --> 33:51.510]  I can tell you, if you go into Second Life, if you're into erotic hypnotism, there is a store called HypnoDolls.
[33:51.650 --> 33:53.610]  This is certainly the place to go.
[33:53.810 --> 33:55.990]  Yes, I will admit, yeah, this is my lover's.
[33:56.190 --> 33:57.450]  He co-owns this store.
[33:57.590 --> 34:00.350]  But it really is the best resource for it.
[34:01.490 --> 34:02.150]  You can go there.
[34:02.250 --> 34:03.550]  You can talk to other people into it.
[34:03.930 --> 34:06.150]  I'm trying to think of other good resources for erotic hypnotism.
[34:06.150 --> 34:08.710]  So, okay, actually, here's the deal with erotic hypnotism.
[34:09.250 --> 34:19.470]  The main guild that certifies hypnotists, the NGH, the National Guild of Hypnotists, who certifies, certified hypnotherapists and stuff, isn't to actually...
[34:19.470 --> 34:20.110]  If you'll hold on a second.
[34:20.690 --> 34:21.910]  Daniel, can you please give me the laptop?
[34:23.930 --> 34:25.650]  I actually wrote something about this.
[34:26.590 --> 34:28.070]  Can I get the laptop back, David?
[34:28.070 --> 34:28.610]  Yes.
[34:28.710 --> 34:29.370]  Thank you.
[34:32.610 --> 34:39.890]  They, because of what they consider to be ethical concerns with doing erotic hypnotism, they think that there isn't a way to do it ethically.
[34:40.350 --> 34:46.370]  That any time you would do it, you would automatically be taking advantage of someone, especially if you were a hypnotherapist because of the whole patient thing.
[34:46.370 --> 34:48.510]  And therefore, they...
[34:49.870 --> 34:51.110]  I have a good word for it here.
[34:51.190 --> 34:52.930]  I don't want to say the wrong word and be...
[34:52.930 --> 34:54.610]  It's that first stage hypnotism too.
[34:55.030 --> 34:55.430]  It's...
[34:55.430 --> 34:57.430]  Yeah, they very much frown on sexuality.
[34:57.630 --> 35:00.270]  Because for many years, hypnotism was just seen as...
[35:01.510 --> 35:02.250]  Where's my key?
[35:03.590 --> 35:03.990]  Okay.
[35:04.570 --> 35:10.950]  Hypnotism was just seen as something that was a joke or a trick, or people would use it in an ethical way, so they're trying to make their image look good.
[35:10.950 --> 35:13.330]  Well, they're doing this at the expense...
[35:13.330 --> 35:13.610]  Thank you.
[35:13.850 --> 35:16.950]  They're doing this at the expense of sexuality.
[35:17.250 --> 35:20.090]  It kind of surprises me, because if these people are therapists...
[35:20.090 --> 35:41.310]  I mean, like, the psychology world is pretty okay with sexuality these days, but they really don't want to have anything to do with any kind of sexuality to the point that if they find out that a hypnotherapist is engaging in erotic...
[35:41.310 --> 35:44.690]  It's even into erotic hypnosis, they can remove your credentials.
[35:45.250 --> 35:48.330]  I earlier mentioned that I have a friend like that.
[35:48.890 --> 36:05.190]  I know someone who's like this who goes specifically not only by a handle, but also by a fake name attached to the handle so that he can be completely separated from this, because he's worried about losing his livelihood.
[36:05.970 --> 36:08.510]  And it just, frankly, if I may say so, it's not fair.
[36:08.510 --> 36:12.690]  And I'd like to go to the NGH and say, Hey, guys, read this, listen to this.
[36:12.870 --> 36:14.570]  There are ethical ways of doing it.
[36:15.530 --> 36:17.170]  People agree to it ahead of time.
[36:17.370 --> 36:19.690]  You can agree to what you want to do and what you don't want to do.
[36:19.730 --> 36:23.270]  And as the hypnosis people should know, there is such a thing as an av reaction.
[36:23.270 --> 36:25.730]  You're not going to do something you don't want to do.
[36:26.210 --> 36:30.930]  You'll just be like, you'll either ignore it completely or you'll fall out of hypnosis.
[36:31.970 --> 36:42.130]  So this is an issue that people need to be aware of, and which is why it's really hard to find good ethical erotic hypnosis links.
[36:42.270 --> 36:44.850]  The one I talked about, Lady Ratha, she is very ethical.
[36:45.150 --> 36:46.690]  I've met her a person, she's a great lady.
[36:49.450 --> 36:59.070]  But there are a lot of people out there who are just, you know, there are hypnodoms who are out there, you know, to scam people, or who will do it and who don't hold themselves to the greater ethics.
[36:59.350 --> 37:02.790]  So you've got to, you know, ask around.
[37:03.070 --> 37:05.070]  Be kind of a caveat emptor kind of thing.
[37:05.190 --> 37:06.990]  There are groups to go.
[37:07.210 --> 37:10.010]  There is a wonderful, there is a mind control forum.
[37:10.950 --> 37:14.330]  That there is a group of micro-troll stories.
[37:14.510 --> 37:15.670]  And there's a forum that goes with it.
[37:15.730 --> 37:19.070]  And these people will definitely be able to tell you who's good and who's bad and stuff like that.
[37:19.590 --> 37:31.330]  And normally I'm asking because, you know, I'm married and I know that my wife, her, her clitoris is like super, super like reactive, like really sensitive.
[37:31.330 --> 37:31.970]  Mm-hmm.
[37:32.090 --> 37:35.010]  So the only way that she can get off is with someone,
[37:40.700 --> 37:44.780]  if they can get to some health data or I don't know if that would be a clue about her or...
[37:45.240 --> 37:45.940]  Where's the pen?
[37:47.080 --> 37:47.640]  Go back.
[37:48.540 --> 37:48.900]  Okay.
[37:49.280 --> 37:49.840]  I'm sorry.
[37:50.020 --> 37:52.240]  I just realized that I've lost the pen here of somebody's laptop.
[37:52.360 --> 37:52.760]  That's not mine.
[37:53.300 --> 37:53.400]  Oops.
[37:53.740 --> 37:54.260]  I'm sorry.
[37:54.420 --> 37:55.520]  Could you repeat that again?
[37:55.680 --> 37:55.880]  Yeah.
[37:56.460 --> 37:58.040]  It's that my wife...
[37:58.040 --> 37:59.760]  Your wife's clitoris is super sensitive.
[37:59.900 --> 38:03.320]  She can only get off with vibration because touching it hurts.
[38:03.440 --> 38:04.140]  Yes, exactly.
[38:04.400 --> 38:05.740]  I have to admit, I'm the exact same way.
[38:06.360 --> 38:06.840]  Yeah.
[38:07.300 --> 38:09.040]  The hypnotism will help that or...?
[38:09.920 --> 38:11.880]  I never tried erotic hypnotism for that.
[38:12.380 --> 38:13.700]  It might, it might not.
[38:13.900 --> 38:17.300]  Something that I definitely forgot to mention about erotic hypnotism, and I feel kind of bad about this.
[38:18.360 --> 38:36.560]  Before, my hypnotherapist friend said that before doing a kind of hypnotherapy, if you have any kind of organic mental disorder, which includes depression, which includes anxiety disorders, which includes bipolar or anything like that, please talk to your doctor ahead of time because sometimes things can come up and things can happen,
[38:36.580 --> 38:37.660]  and you have to be very careful.
[38:38.400 --> 38:40.320]  This is what my hypnotherapist friend told me.
[38:40.420 --> 38:41.880]  I will be completely honest with myself.
[38:41.880 --> 38:42.860]  I have a mental disorder.
[38:43.000 --> 38:45.440]  I've never had any problems with it, but this is just me.
[38:45.940 --> 38:46.880]  It is up to you.
[38:46.980 --> 38:49.300]  I believe everybody has the right to make their own decisions on these things.
[38:50.020 --> 38:50.560]  Fixing that?
[38:50.580 --> 38:51.400]  I'm not sure.
[38:51.400 --> 38:53.640]  I mean, you might even be able to make her come without even touching her.
[38:54.780 --> 38:57.240]  So that certainly does help that problem.
[38:57.480 --> 39:00.780]  But I'm a very creative person when it comes to sex.
[39:00.880 --> 39:01.680]  I say give it a shot.
[39:01.780 --> 39:02.480]  The sky's the limit.
[39:02.800 --> 39:04.360]  Talk to other people who've done this before.
[39:07.780 --> 39:08.700]  Please step up to the mic.
[39:10.160 --> 39:11.540]  Or you can use this one in the front.
[39:11.540 --> 39:13.220]  I just realized there's the mic in front.
[39:14.820 --> 39:18.820]  You mentioned a lady, somebody or other, realm of...
[39:18.820 --> 39:19.780]  Lady Ruetha.
[39:20.000 --> 39:22.740]  R-U apostrophe E-T-H-A.
[39:23.680 --> 39:25.020]  R-U apostrophe E-T-H-A.
[39:25.480 --> 39:26.920]  Apostrophe E-T-H-A.
[39:27.260 --> 39:30.280]  And it's called the Realm of Bliss Podcast.
[39:31.060 --> 39:33.260]  It's a wonderful, wonderful podcast.
[39:33.260 --> 39:35.260]  It has interviews on all sorts of things.
[39:35.440 --> 39:37.860]  On erotic submission, erotic dominance.
[39:40.600 --> 39:43.680]  She has an interview on techno-sexuality.
[39:43.760 --> 39:44.860]  She has an interview on inductions.
[39:47.160 --> 39:48.520]  On dual induction.
[39:48.820 --> 39:50.980]  Which is where you're going to be hearing it in both ears.
[39:51.140 --> 39:51.960]  And they're going to put you under.
[39:52.100 --> 39:53.380]  It's really great.
[39:58.140 --> 40:00.500]  Thoughts from the previous person with the...
[40:01.400 --> 40:01.860]  Go pick them up.
[40:02.100 --> 40:03.560]  The oversensitive cultural issues.
[40:04.240 --> 40:04.960]  Why can't you...
[40:04.960 --> 40:05.320]  Oh, I'm sorry.
[40:05.480 --> 40:05.960]  Not close enough.
[40:07.680 --> 40:16.420]  What comes to mind here possibly is, first of all, can you find a position that works for you that doesn't hurt her, even if it doesn't hit her off?
[40:16.460 --> 40:17.320]  That's the first thing.
[40:17.720 --> 40:23.480]  If you can find that, perhaps you can get her off some other way afterward, with or without vibrator as needed.
[40:24.520 --> 40:30.020]  Obviously, if you can't, then you have an issue where you can't even really have sex because it's uncomfortable.
[40:30.420 --> 40:32.240]  Well, that's what I do now.
[40:32.460 --> 40:33.280]  I can take turns.
[40:33.440 --> 40:34.080]  I can say more.
[40:34.420 --> 40:39.080]  We, you know, I'll go first and afterwards, and I'll go with the vibrator.
[40:39.560 --> 40:42.860]  But sometimes you want it to happen with both people.
[40:43.120 --> 40:43.760]  I get that.
[40:43.880 --> 40:44.500]  I totally do.
[40:45.680 --> 40:46.720]  It can be tricky.
[40:48.520 --> 40:55.120]  I've been, as I said, I've been studying sexuality since I pretty much got out of high school, since I became sexual at 17.
[40:55.280 --> 41:00.600]  And I'm still figuring out how exactly I can come from f*cking.
[41:00.600 --> 41:02.440]  And it's not always easy.
[41:02.740 --> 41:04.200]  It takes practice.
[41:04.680 --> 41:05.420]  It takes...
[41:05.420 --> 41:07.580]  You know, we are imperfect beings.
[41:07.940 --> 41:08.400]  It takes...
[41:08.400 --> 41:09.720]  There is some frustration involved.
[41:09.900 --> 41:11.660]  I wish I had better advice for you.
[41:11.720 --> 41:12.360]  I really do.
[41:12.720 --> 41:14.760]  And if you figure something out, please send me an email.
[41:14.880 --> 41:15.160]  Tell me.
[41:22.650 --> 41:23.950]  I forgot my swag.
[41:24.190 --> 41:24.470]  Oh, no.
[41:24.630 --> 41:24.830]  Yes.
[41:25.030 --> 41:28.330]  I have swag from a wonderful sex story called Babeland.
[41:29.350 --> 41:31.950]  And they are sex positive.
[41:32.270 --> 41:34.630]  They are woman positive and queer positive.
[41:34.970 --> 41:39.750]  They are a very, very comfortable place to go, to go sex story shopping.
[41:40.170 --> 41:43.090]  I went there earlier today with a couple of attendees from the con.
[41:43.210 --> 41:44.150]  And we all had a wonderful time.
[41:44.390 --> 41:47.470]  And I was teaching some of the attendees at the con about stuff.
[41:47.530 --> 41:51.710]  And I ended up having people come up to me thinking I was an employee and asking me questions.
[41:51.810 --> 41:53.890]  And I said, I'm not an employee, but sure, I'll answer your questions.
[41:56.150 --> 41:59.070]  I like Babeland because it's very hands-on.
[41:59.430 --> 42:04.450]  Most places, you look at the vibrators in the boxes and try to make a choice from the really crappy packaging.
[42:04.790 --> 42:06.890]  They have one of everything available for you.
[42:06.950 --> 42:07.910]  You can touch it.
[42:07.910 --> 42:13.590]  You can take the dildos and you can shake them and you can see how rigid they are or how floppy they are.
[42:14.790 --> 42:18.430]  They have samples for some of the lubes there.
[42:18.550 --> 42:21.190]  You can feel them and you can even taste them if they're flavored.
[42:21.490 --> 42:25.330]  They have samples of all the condoms blown up just enough to see what they look like.
[42:25.570 --> 42:26.810]  It's a wonderful place.
[42:26.970 --> 42:35.010]  They have four different locations, two here in town, one in LA and one in Seattle where they're started.
[42:35.010 --> 42:37.950]  There's also other ones, places like this around the country.
[42:38.290 --> 42:44.270]  Good Vibrations, Early to Bed, Grand Opening.
[42:44.590 --> 42:47.650]  I can... there's a whole... there's Come As You Are up in Canada.
[42:48.250 --> 42:50.430]  There's a whole wide variety of these places.
[42:50.730 --> 42:52.650]  And unfortunately, where I'm from doesn't have one.
[42:52.890 --> 42:53.970]  Maybe someday I'd open up one.
[42:54.030 --> 42:54.630]  That'd be really cool.
[42:54.630 --> 42:57.010]  But I highly recommend going to these places.
[42:57.170 --> 42:59.330]  Anyways, Babeland, I have brought buttons.
[42:59.550 --> 43:01.170]  Unfortunately, they're out of the Pet Your Bunny ones.
[43:01.730 --> 43:02.990]  But they have different ones.
[43:03.250 --> 43:05.070]  They have... I have a bunch of pens from them.
[43:05.330 --> 43:07.010]  And right now they're having a big sale.
[43:07.070 --> 43:08.550]  20% off almost everything in the store.
[43:08.750 --> 43:11.730]  And that can make a big difference when you're buying like a $110 dildo.
[43:13.010 --> 43:14.210]  Sorry, go ahead.
[43:14.210 --> 43:21.650]  Actually, regarding dildos, don't scare your guy by thinking, you know what, this might be kinky.
[43:21.790 --> 43:26.650]  And then get some like humongous thing and then just like surprise him in the bed.
[43:26.970 --> 43:28.490]  That'll freak the guy out.
[43:28.750 --> 43:28.870]  Yeah.
[43:32.550 --> 43:32.990]  Communication.
[43:32.990 --> 43:34.250]  Communication is the key here.
[43:35.830 --> 43:37.430]  This is a personal thing for me.
[43:37.530 --> 43:40.610]  I want to have a man who's comfortable enough that he doesn't mind if I use a dildo.
[43:41.250 --> 43:43.890]  Obviously, I'm not going to be like, honey, you want to try butt sex?
[43:43.890 --> 43:45.990]  And then I pull out the big one.
[43:46.110 --> 43:46.670]  You know what I mean?
[43:47.070 --> 43:48.030]  No, no, no.
[43:48.130 --> 43:49.050]  That's not cool, man.
[43:50.910 --> 43:51.270]  Yeah.
[43:51.510 --> 43:52.590]  Start with the pinky.
[43:52.950 --> 43:53.470]  Work your way up.
[43:53.610 --> 43:56.410]  I have a number of dildos and some of them I specifically bought for butt sex.
[43:56.730 --> 43:57.830]  Which are smaller ones.
[43:58.450 --> 43:58.830]  I have a...
[43:58.830 --> 44:00.030]  Yeah, no, that's pretty big.
[44:00.590 --> 44:02.670]  I have a much thinner girth around there.
[44:04.450 --> 44:05.450]  Keys to butt sex.
[44:06.810 --> 44:07.970]  There's also this thing as too much lube.
[44:08.450 --> 44:09.110]  Start slow.
[44:09.870 --> 44:10.590]  Never go...
[44:10.590 --> 44:13.130]  If you're doing it on a girl, never go from the anus to the vagina.
[44:14.230 --> 44:16.110]  And work your way up to the larger stuff.
[44:16.270 --> 44:17.650]  Oh, and make sure you're relaxed.
[44:17.890 --> 44:20.850]  If you're not relaxed, do what you need to do to relax.
[44:21.150 --> 44:24.090]  And those, like, numbing creams, oh, that's such a bad idea.
[44:24.130 --> 44:25.690]  Because, no, you need to relax.
[44:25.690 --> 44:29.070]  If you're numb and you're tense and you're forcing it in, you can hurt yourself.
[44:29.070 --> 44:29.690]  This is bad.
[44:31.570 --> 44:39.550]  Actually, regarding the whole books that you were talking about, I have one book that I personally like.
[44:39.650 --> 44:41.590]  It's called Multi-Orgasmic Male.
[44:41.950 --> 44:42.550]  Oh, cool.
[44:42.690 --> 44:43.770]  If anybody can...
[44:43.770 --> 44:48.010]  I, unfortunately, don't know the male side of things very much at all, which is really kind of sad.
[44:49.010 --> 44:50.130]  Multi-orgasmic male.
[44:50.330 --> 44:50.950]  Who wrote it?
[44:51.110 --> 44:52.090]  Send me an email on this.
[44:52.150 --> 44:52.590]  This is great.
[44:53.190 --> 44:54.230]  Jump in at any...
[44:54.230 --> 44:56.830]  I can't remember who wrote it, but I actually did.
[44:56.950 --> 44:57.550]  It's kind of good.
[44:57.950 --> 44:58.090]  Yes.
[44:58.330 --> 44:58.890]  It's a good book?
[44:59.050 --> 44:59.190]  Okay.
[44:59.310 --> 45:00.150]  Multi-orgasmic male.
[45:00.310 --> 45:00.990]  I'll have to remember that.
[45:01.090 --> 45:01.110]  Okay.
[45:01.110 --> 45:01.630]  That's cool.
[45:03.930 --> 45:04.410]  That's cool.
[45:04.510 --> 45:04.650]  Definitely.
[45:04.870 --> 45:12.870]  An obvious thing is, with male, if you're doing the old edge, you can feel that if you keep them on the edge, that you'll definitely feel like multiple orgasms if done right.
[45:14.290 --> 45:17.130]  If you didn't hear, he said, with men, keep them on the edge.
[45:18.250 --> 45:18.930]  Almost coming.
[45:19.310 --> 45:22.570]  It can be, you can feel like multiple orgasms if done right, is what he meant.
[45:23.630 --> 45:23.990]  He mentioned.
[45:24.370 --> 45:24.950]  Let's see here.
[45:25.070 --> 45:28.270]  We were talking about books, and I didn't get to mention some of my favorite books.
[45:28.690 --> 45:29.730]  Is there somebody coming up?
[45:29.850 --> 45:31.150]  If so, I won't talk about books.
[45:31.690 --> 45:38.050]  I don't know if this is common knowledge, but one of my favorite erotic books would have been the Anne Rice books for Secret of Duty.
[45:38.270 --> 45:39.490]  A lot of people seem to like those.
[45:39.630 --> 45:41.210]  I personally haven't read them, but...
[45:41.210 --> 45:44.430]  I think there's like three of them, and they're amazing books.
[45:44.830 --> 45:46.210]  They're both for a guy's and woman.
[45:47.850 --> 45:48.210]  Excellent.
[45:56.800 --> 45:59.560]  Mind-body hack that you didn't touch on.
[45:59.640 --> 45:59.900]  Okay.
[46:00.040 --> 46:02.120]  I just wanted to give your take on it.
[46:02.240 --> 46:02.540]  Okay.
[46:05.760 --> 46:06.560]  Erotic asphyxiation.
[46:07.700 --> 46:08.500]  Erotic asphyxiation.
[46:08.720 --> 46:09.840]  That is a mind-body hack.
[46:10.120 --> 46:11.720]  It can be a very dangerous one.
[46:11.740 --> 46:14.540]  You have to be very, very, very careful with it.
[46:14.600 --> 46:15.580]  You have to really know what you're doing.
[46:17.240 --> 46:19.480]  At the BDSM club I go to.
[46:19.620 --> 46:20.280]  It's called The Crucible.
[46:20.480 --> 46:20.920]  It's in D.C.
[46:21.640 --> 46:25.300]  And they will have what's known as exploratorium nights.
[46:25.520 --> 46:29.940]  Where traditionally when you do a scene, you play with someone or a number of someones.
[46:30.120 --> 46:32.700]  And other outsiders aren't allowed to butt in.
[46:32.780 --> 46:33.720]  You know, you have to get permission.
[46:35.140 --> 46:37.520]  But exploratorium nights, it's more of a like...
[46:37.520 --> 46:38.420]  People set up stations.
[46:38.520 --> 46:39.220]  They do little demos.
[46:39.280 --> 46:42.000]  And I actually got to do erotic asphyxiation with someone.
[46:43.300 --> 46:46.460]  The thing with this is, no matter what, there is always risk.
[46:46.980 --> 46:50.000]  There is always risk with erotic asphyxiation.
[46:50.900 --> 46:56.060]  Don't be like all the dumb senators and stuff that make the media by doing auto-erotic asphyxiation.
[46:56.640 --> 46:58.700]  Doing it on yourself and not having anyone around.
[46:58.880 --> 46:59.740]  And then they find you dead.
[46:59.900 --> 47:00.880]  It's much more fun with someone else.
[47:00.900 --> 47:03.360]  Yeah, it's much more fun with someone else.
[47:05.580 --> 47:07.500]  Erotic asphyxiation can definitely be a head rush.
[47:08.280 --> 47:09.840]  It's not something I've done too much of.
[47:09.840 --> 47:13.440]  One, because I've had a number of partners that it's really not their thing.
[47:13.660 --> 47:15.140]  It's what's known as a hard limit for them.
[47:15.280 --> 47:16.340]  It's a big no-no.
[47:16.500 --> 47:17.640]  It's traumatic for them.
[47:18.040 --> 47:20.920]  And just because of its danger.
[47:21.120 --> 47:24.500]  If that's something you want to do, read the hell up on it.
[47:24.720 --> 47:26.160]  Talk to people who do it.
[47:26.720 --> 47:29.140]  Just learn it and be very, very careful.
[47:29.300 --> 47:30.340]  And also there's other ways of doing it.
[47:30.440 --> 47:32.340]  Not just choking someone or taking their breath away.
[47:32.580 --> 47:37.240]  But like putting a gas mask on them and then put smelling salts in the tube or something.
[47:37.240 --> 47:39.360]  I remember they did that with me whenever I tried it.
[47:40.600 --> 47:41.040]  So...
[47:41.780 --> 47:42.500]  You're welcome.
[47:44.320 --> 47:48.100]  I just wanted to say something about auto-erotic or erotic asphyxiation.
[47:48.140 --> 47:48.360]  Okay.
[47:48.500 --> 47:51.800]  There was an article on a recent issue of Spread Magazine about it.
[47:52.560 --> 48:06.080]  And they were saying that the basics of auto-erotic is if you're doing it yourself, the best way to do it is just press your hands on the side of your neck to get that sort of sensation.
[48:06.900 --> 48:08.620]  And rest something on your face.
[48:09.040 --> 48:15.140]  And they were saying that if you're doing it with someone else, never use a rope or a scarf.
[48:16.260 --> 48:19.200]  Definitely do not use nylons to tie yourself up.
[48:19.200 --> 48:20.000]  Absolutely not.
[48:20.580 --> 48:23.660]  Don't use nylons to tie yourself up even if you're just doing bondage.
[48:23.660 --> 48:29.860]  And do not use nylons on your face because it can rub on your face and burn.
[48:30.500 --> 48:40.240]  And there have been, oh gosh, there have been cases where people have been in an erotic asphyxiation situation.
[48:41.220 --> 48:43.040]  And something's gone bad.
[48:43.740 --> 48:46.780]  And it's difficult to prove that you weren't trying to do it perfectly.
[48:47.360 --> 48:47.660]  Yeah.
[48:48.160 --> 48:49.580]  Personally, this is my personal thing.
[48:49.840 --> 48:52.420]  I just never do this alone.
[48:53.180 --> 48:54.660]  Just something could go wrong.
[48:54.820 --> 48:55.100]  Please.
[48:55.460 --> 48:56.400]  You could die.
[48:56.860 --> 49:00.740]  And you don't want to be that person on the news who died from doing that.
[49:00.860 --> 49:04.620]  And also, unfortunately, because sex is still taboo, many families...
[49:04.620 --> 49:08.580]  There are people who are into this who were experimenting with it as teens who died.
[49:08.700 --> 49:11.400]  And their families just call it a suicide because it's less...
[49:12.300 --> 49:15.500]  Or, you know, say something happened because it's less traumatic.
[49:15.680 --> 49:17.380]  And, you know, the truth never gets out in these cases.
[49:17.520 --> 49:21.300]  But it happens more often than we think because of the stigma associated with sex.
[49:21.480 --> 49:23.340]  So, please, don't do this alone.
[49:23.520 --> 49:23.920]  Please.
[49:27.000 --> 49:31.080]  Yeah, there are certain forms of BDSM play that are considered edge play.
[49:31.200 --> 49:32.380]  And some people consider that edge play.
[49:32.640 --> 49:33.620]  So, be careful.
[49:35.180 --> 49:36.940]  So, this is a little bit of a change.
[49:37.360 --> 49:37.640]  Okay.
[49:39.540 --> 49:46.400]  But you were mentioning earlier that you have ADD and that you sometimes have trouble focusing on sex.
[49:46.580 --> 49:46.740]  Mm-hmm.
[49:47.040 --> 49:48.400]  I have the same problem.
[49:48.520 --> 49:50.420]  I was wondering if you wanted to, like...
[49:50.420 --> 49:53.020]  I've never actually talked to any of you who had the same problems.
[49:53.480 --> 49:55.540]  I was wondering if you wanted to, like, elaborate on that.
[49:55.740 --> 49:56.100]  Okay.
[49:56.400 --> 49:56.640]  Sure.
[49:56.800 --> 49:59.340]  And I've never talked to a guy who had the same problems with that.
[49:59.400 --> 50:00.140]  So, this is going to be cool.
[50:00.300 --> 50:00.460]  Yay.
[50:02.580 --> 50:03.640]  Hey, sex is my thing.
[50:03.760 --> 50:04.960]  I get excited about this stuff.
[50:06.080 --> 50:06.800]  Let's see here.
[50:07.200 --> 50:09.020]  Let me actually think about this for a little bit.
[50:13.100 --> 50:13.480]  It's...
[50:13.480 --> 50:16.260]  I mean, it's going to make me sound like...
[50:16.840 --> 50:17.520]  I'll be honest.
[50:17.520 --> 50:20.700]  I mean, you know, some things we still do have stigma attached to.
[50:20.820 --> 50:21.280]  And it's just...
[50:21.280 --> 50:28.300]  I feel like this is going to make me sound like 180, but I mean, I can have a wonderful lover, very attentive, very doing everything right, and I still can't focus.
[50:28.500 --> 50:28.980]  It's just...
[50:28.980 --> 50:32.980]  I think it requires a certain amount of pleasure to get me to focus.
[50:33.120 --> 50:35.180]  And, I mean, people are like, you know, ADD isn't real.
[50:35.260 --> 50:38.240]  Well, the fact that, like, they're like, you know, well, if you really wanted to focus, you could.
[50:38.580 --> 50:40.400]  I'd like to focus on sex.
[50:40.580 --> 50:41.200]  Thank you.
[50:41.940 --> 50:42.760]  I'm in the bedroom.
[50:42.920 --> 50:43.680]  I'm with my lover.
[50:43.760 --> 50:44.780]  I'd like this to be good.
[50:44.800 --> 50:46.860]  And I just can't.
[50:46.860 --> 50:49.100]  I've found that I take medication.
[50:49.140 --> 50:50.700]  I take Adderall for it.
[50:50.820 --> 50:52.540]  I've found that being on my medication does help.
[50:56.220 --> 50:59.720]  I've found that I've had actually some, like, pretty intense feelings of guilt around it.
[50:59.880 --> 51:10.200]  Because, you know, I mean, you're in bed, you're having sex with your lover, like you said, and you're like, why can't I pay attention to this person who's having, you know, ostensibly great sex, but thinking about, like, that spot on the ceiling.
[51:10.360 --> 51:10.600]  Yeah.
[51:10.940 --> 51:11.600]  No, totally.
[51:11.780 --> 51:12.540]  And this does happen.
[51:13.020 --> 51:15.920]  There is a book called The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability.
[51:16.420 --> 51:20.400]  The old edition, I don't think it had depression, but not ADD.
[51:20.920 --> 51:22.180]  There's a new edition that's been put out.
[51:22.240 --> 51:24.500]  I haven't had a chance to look to see if it has ADD in it.
[51:25.580 --> 51:29.180]  There was a website called VaginaPagina.com.
[51:30.940 --> 51:34.720]  Vagina, V-A-G-I-N-A, Pagina, which means page in, I think, Spanish.
[51:34.980 --> 51:36.700]  P-A-G-I-N-A.com.
[51:36.700 --> 51:43.760]  And it was the first place I ever actually saw other places mention, other than books on ADD, that, yeah, you can have sexual problems with ADD with focus.
[51:44.340 --> 51:49.580]  I wish there were easy answers, but as you know, having ADD, there's oftentimes no easy answers to these things.
[51:49.740 --> 51:51.200]  Just, please don't feel guilty.
[51:51.200 --> 51:57.000]  I mean, I know, I kind of have to take my own advice sometimes, but you can't help it.
[51:57.300 --> 51:59.100]  I'm sure your lover would say the same thing.
[51:59.380 --> 52:05.940]  And letting your lover know this ahead of time, and telling them when you're like, yeah, I'm just not able to focus right now.
[52:05.940 --> 52:06.920]  I'm real sorry, sweetie.
[52:07.140 --> 52:08.620]  Can we try this?
[52:08.740 --> 52:09.560]  Can we have the pleasure?
[52:10.140 --> 52:12.780]  Can I get you off and we try again with me later?
[52:13.020 --> 52:13.520]  Stuff like that.
[52:13.640 --> 52:24.740]  Just one thing that I have noticed when I use taking turns as a way whenever I'm having sexual difficulty is, you have to be careful that you do end up doing your own later.
[52:25.700 --> 52:32.900]  Because sometimes people are prone to start feeling, to start just, you know, every time it happens, letting your partner get off.
[52:33.000 --> 52:35.520]  And then you start feeling kind of like resentful.
[52:35.640 --> 52:38.300]  You know, well, yeah, you know, I sucked your dick this many times.
[52:38.520 --> 52:39.940]  Why would, you know, why won't you do this for me?
[52:39.980 --> 52:40.760]  Why can't I get off?
[52:40.980 --> 52:44.700]  And it's just, I mean, relationships, as everyone knows, are a slippery slope.
[52:44.800 --> 52:45.420]  And you've got to be careful.
[52:46.320 --> 52:52.520]  Well, actually, one technique that I've got for myself is actually doing a lot of talking dirty.
[52:52.960 --> 52:53.320]  Okay.
[52:53.500 --> 52:58.520]  Because it's like, I don't know, I mean, I don't know what techniques you prefer, but for me like that keeps me engaged.
[52:58.600 --> 53:01.900]  You know what, it does the same for me too, which is why I think I like role play so much.
[53:02.080 --> 53:07.680]  Seriously, I think because I have ADD is one of the reasons I really like role play, because I'm in the mindset of somebody else.
[53:07.760 --> 53:10.280]  I'm having to constantly focus on that mindset of someone else.
[53:11.020 --> 53:13.020]  And it just, it's enough stimulation.
[53:14.120 --> 53:16.860]  When I masturbate, I fantasize in my head.
[53:17.580 --> 53:20.960]  Just the sensation alone is absolutely not enough.
[53:21.080 --> 53:24.120]  I get so bored if you just, you know, put a vibrator on my crotch.
[53:24.280 --> 53:26.140]  I absolutely have to fantasize.
[53:26.320 --> 53:33.420]  It's best for me whenever my lover is constantly talking about, is constantly, you know, telling me things that turn me on.
[53:33.660 --> 53:38.180]  Because it really does get so many different parts of my mind going.
[53:38.180 --> 53:43.920]  I found that with erotic hypnosis can really help with this, because you're in this focused state.
[53:44.620 --> 53:46.700]  And then your mind doesn't go off.
[53:46.800 --> 53:52.000]  And if you're doing things in that focused state that turn you on, oh my god, yeah, no, you're gonna stay in that zone.
[53:52.980 --> 53:53.620]  Thank you.
[53:53.880 --> 53:54.160]  Sure.
[53:55.500 --> 53:56.140]  You next?
[53:58.060 --> 53:58.760]  Oh, okay.
[53:59.420 --> 53:59.860]  Answer it.
[54:00.660 --> 54:01.060]  Next.
[54:01.240 --> 54:01.460]  No.
[54:04.920 --> 54:06.260]  Talk into the mic a little more.
[54:06.360 --> 54:07.020]  It's hard for me to hear you.
[54:07.380 --> 54:07.920]  How about this?
[54:08.020 --> 54:08.280]  Okay.
[54:14.000 --> 54:20.860]  First of all, about groups that still go by their old user names.
[54:21.220 --> 54:22.360]  There are a lot.
[54:22.720 --> 54:23.080]  Really?
[54:23.320 --> 54:24.260]  Tell me some of the other ones.
[54:25.160 --> 54:26.200]  Literotic groups.
[54:26.880 --> 54:28.380]  Oh yeah, literotic is great.
[54:28.920 --> 54:31.520]  All text stories still goes by ASS.
[54:31.760 --> 54:32.240]  That's true.
[54:32.380 --> 54:32.900]  ASS TR.
[54:33.140 --> 54:33.920]  I love ASS TR.
[54:35.040 --> 54:38.600]  The beginning of their website has that really hot chick with the purple blanket.
[54:38.880 --> 54:39.280]  Yeah.
[54:39.480 --> 54:40.280]  I love that thing.
[54:40.380 --> 54:41.160]  They had that in 2000.
[54:41.540 --> 54:45.660]  She's just like kind of holding it in this purple blanket and she's all coy and it leads so much to your imagination.
[54:45.680 --> 54:46.200]  It's wonderful.
[54:46.680 --> 54:46.900]  Yeah.
[54:47.080 --> 54:51.780]  But on the other hand, if you just have a web browser, they're like how they're supposed to pick her up an ASS.
[54:52.180 --> 54:52.580]  So...
[54:53.020 --> 54:54.120]  That's right it is.
[54:55.060 --> 54:56.940]  You know, someone might notice.
[54:58.320 --> 54:59.160]  Eh, so what?
[55:00.840 --> 55:02.440]  Well, it doesn't have the only source.
[55:02.440 --> 55:03.100]  Yeah, I know.
[55:03.100 --> 55:03.860]  Obviously, yeah.
[55:06.000 --> 55:12.000]  Another comment would be about a girl who has problems coming from intercourse.
[55:12.120 --> 55:12.440]  Mm-hmm.
[55:14.420 --> 55:17.400]  My advice would definitely be to try to bring up the mind more.
[55:17.760 --> 55:20.860]  That you can get a lot of the way.
[55:20.960 --> 55:23.780]  Get her hotter before you try to get her off.
[55:23.860 --> 55:27.440]  Yeah, I definitely know that's one thing that sometimes if I get bored in sex, I just...
[55:27.440 --> 55:29.720]  I'll admit, sometimes I just want to get it over with.
[55:29.720 --> 55:34.220]  Especially if you f*ck long enough and hard enough, it starts to hurt after a while.
[55:35.220 --> 55:35.620]  Um...
[55:35.620 --> 55:37.080]  I found that...
[55:37.080 --> 55:37.720]  Even that...
[55:38.400 --> 55:39.740]  Like, as you said, talk to her more.
[55:39.820 --> 55:42.060]  Get her hotter before you even put your dick in her.
[55:42.280 --> 55:44.320]  It can really, really help.
[55:44.320 --> 55:46.020]  I mean, if she's like...
[55:46.020 --> 55:48.400]  Get her so bad that she's like shaking and...
[55:48.400 --> 55:48.600]  Okay.
[55:48.920 --> 55:49.240]  No, no, no.
[55:49.300 --> 55:49.880]  Don't you come here.
[55:49.980 --> 55:50.420]  You f*ck me now.
[55:50.480 --> 55:51.160]  Please, please, please.
[55:52.000 --> 55:52.560]  That helps.
[55:52.560 --> 55:55.300]  And if she uses those exact words, it helps you too.
[55:55.980 --> 55:56.740]  There you go.
[55:57.420 --> 56:02.900]  And the last thing I wanted to say was in regards to butt sex.
[56:03.560 --> 56:04.000]  Yay.
[56:04.360 --> 56:12.320]  Where the only thing I wanted to say was that you probably want to spend some time trying to pick out the right loop.
[56:12.940 --> 56:13.420]  Yes.
[56:13.760 --> 56:14.460]  I should have mentioned that.
[56:14.580 --> 56:14.800]  You're right.
[56:15.100 --> 56:18.080]  That, for instance, if you're not afraid of...
[56:18.080 --> 56:23.500]  If you're not using condoms for whatever reason, then you don't need to worry about oil-based lubes that...
[56:24.080 --> 56:24.400]  Yeah.
[56:24.400 --> 56:28.420]  They are entirely different as far as when they dry and stuff like that.
[56:28.420 --> 56:33.260]  I've never used oil-based lubes, mainly because I always am using condoms and I'm always using some kind of barrier in the butt.
[56:33.660 --> 56:36.280]  However, if you're not using a silicon dildo...
[56:36.880 --> 56:37.360]  That's...
[56:37.360 --> 56:39.920]  Silicon lubes are absolutely fantastic.
[56:40.580 --> 56:41.540]  They don't get sticky.
[56:41.660 --> 56:42.340]  They don't get tacky.
[56:42.420 --> 56:43.080]  They don't dry out.
[56:43.240 --> 56:46.460]  They only come off when you wash them off with soap and water.
[56:46.600 --> 56:48.300]  Which means if you're using them in the tub, be very careful.
[56:48.540 --> 56:51.500]  Because there have been plenty of people who have gotten on the bottoms of their tub, slipped and fell.
[56:51.700 --> 56:52.180]  Like whoops.
[56:52.380 --> 56:52.600]  Yeah.
[56:52.780 --> 56:52.880]  Whoops.
[56:53.100 --> 56:53.180]  Yeah.
[56:53.720 --> 56:55.420]  You don't want to hit yourself on your head.
[56:55.540 --> 56:56.100]  That's a bad thing.
[56:56.140 --> 56:57.340]  Or worse, you had land on your heart.
[56:57.580 --> 56:58.700]  Just to say something about ludes.
[56:58.840 --> 56:59.020]  Sure.
[56:59.380 --> 57:02.020]  Silicone, which is a great dildo manufacturer...
[57:02.020 --> 57:03.160]  All of my dildos are Tantus.
[57:03.320 --> 57:03.860]  I love them.
[57:04.120 --> 57:09.720]  One of the great things about their silicone dildos is you can use them with arrows, another premium silicone ludes.
[57:09.800 --> 57:11.220]  They determine that they're totally compatible.
[57:11.440 --> 57:11.760]  Okay.
[57:12.260 --> 57:15.840]  Personally, because I don't have that much money, I just stay away from it completely.
[57:16.040 --> 57:23.120]  Some people say, well, if it's food grade versus medical grade, and depending on which silicone ludes you're using, I just personally stay away from them completely.
[57:23.380 --> 57:23.900]  Yeah, understandable.
[57:24.100 --> 57:25.380]  But just to say that for people to...
[57:25.380 --> 57:25.740]  Okay.
[57:26.660 --> 57:28.160]  Well, here's the thing which you can do.
[57:28.300 --> 57:31.040]  You can also throw a condom on your silicone dildo.
[57:31.160 --> 57:32.420]  That's how sometimes I'll do that.
[57:32.580 --> 57:34.980]  I have a friend who's actually also a hacker.
[57:36.940 --> 57:40.060]  And he's like, we were going to use his condoms.
[57:40.100 --> 57:43.380]  He was going to use a silicone dildo and a silicone lube.
[57:43.480 --> 57:45.140]  And I'm like, dude, you know, you can't do that.
[57:45.200 --> 57:48.400]  He's like, well, you know, I'm an IT professional.
[57:48.500 --> 57:49.800]  I make a decent amount of money.
[57:49.920 --> 57:51.420]  It's like, you know, I'm not like you.
[57:52.040 --> 57:53.920]  I'm not trying to pass my dildos down to my grandchildren.
[57:54.160 --> 57:55.160]  I'm like, oh, that's a good idea.
[57:55.280 --> 57:56.260]  Wait, what?
[58:00.110 --> 58:05.310]  So, yeah, I mean, it's not like you touch the silicone lube to it and it just melts instantly into a puddle of goo.
[58:05.450 --> 58:07.310]  It just starts to eat away at it.
[58:07.370 --> 58:09.010]  So, if you're willing, you know, if you have...
[58:09.010 --> 58:16.710]  If you are a person of such means that you're willing to replace your silicone dildos every now and then, if you're not like me, who wants to pass them down to their grandchildren, apparently.
[58:17.710 --> 58:18.030]  Yeah.
[58:18.190 --> 58:18.490]  Okay.
[58:18.690 --> 58:19.210]  Go for it.
[58:19.290 --> 58:20.470]  Just be aware of this.
[58:20.630 --> 58:21.450]  Know what's going to happen.
[58:21.450 --> 58:22.770]  But it's not just that.
[58:22.870 --> 58:24.430]  It literally does eat holes.
[58:24.610 --> 58:24.930]  Yeah, no.
[58:25.110 --> 58:25.810]  It literally can...
[58:25.810 --> 58:28.990]  I think they're mainly small holes.
[58:29.170 --> 58:30.630]  They become much more difficult to clean.
[58:30.730 --> 58:31.010]  Yes.
[58:31.750 --> 58:33.190]  Much more difficult to sterilize.
[58:34.110 --> 58:35.630]  What I was going to say before...
[58:36.050 --> 58:37.630]  Well, not before, but...
[58:37.630 --> 58:38.330]  I was waiting.
[58:38.790 --> 58:40.690]  Let's talk about all ADD slash whatever.
[58:40.950 --> 58:41.550]  I mean, I have ADHD.
[58:42.910 --> 58:43.130]  Me too.
[58:43.650 --> 58:45.470]  Which is basically the same thing with hyperactivity.
[58:45.710 --> 58:46.450]  Yeah, I have that too, actually.
[58:46.670 --> 58:50.930]  Fortunately, it hasn't really given me a lot of problems reading the bedroom.
[58:50.930 --> 58:56.050]  But in general, it can be an issue for some people.
[58:56.210 --> 58:59.790]  I've actually seen situations where some people have had issues because of that sort of thing.
[58:59.910 --> 59:02.550]  I've been lucky that it never was much of a problem in that respect.
[59:03.290 --> 59:06.570]  As far as medication, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
[59:06.690 --> 59:08.790]  I actually, as a kid, did nothing to work.
[59:09.190 --> 59:13.430]  As an adult, I actually do take something, and it's helped quite a bit.
[59:13.630 --> 59:14.770]  So you never know.
[59:14.870 --> 59:19.710]  If you tried to get it treated years ago, get that much luck, try again.
[59:19.710 --> 59:21.190]  And you may do much better.
[59:21.310 --> 59:21.590]  Yeah.
[59:21.810 --> 59:22.710]  Also, I've had people...
[59:23.230 --> 59:26.010]  I know someone who had ADHD who was taking Adderall.
[59:26.190 --> 59:28.750]  And he said that when he was on it, he could not get hard.
[59:29.090 --> 59:29.790]  Like, at all.
[59:29.910 --> 59:32.190]  So some people do have sexual side effects from it.
[59:32.370 --> 59:35.010]  Actually, Adderall for other people is to help that to some degree.
[59:35.250 --> 59:35.390]  Yeah.
[59:35.890 --> 59:36.670]  It is kind of funny.
[59:36.770 --> 59:38.270]  The human body is an interesting thing that way.
[59:38.410 --> 59:42.250]  Adderall is what I've been using, and I've been very good luck with this stuff as far as having my head work better.
[59:42.250 --> 59:42.890]  There you go.
[59:43.550 --> 59:44.150]  Hi.
[59:44.570 --> 59:45.850]  I just wanted to comment.
[59:46.050 --> 59:48.330]  You mentioned Bayland and Good Vibrations.
[59:48.710 --> 59:51.210]  They have significant online presences.
[59:51.410 --> 59:51.690]  They do.
[59:51.990 --> 59:54.070]  They also have very educational blogs.
[59:54.270 --> 01:00:02.010]  And if you have a sex blog, you can often get in the business of reviewing toys and getting those kinds of things.
[01:00:02.450 --> 01:00:04.770]  How many people here are from New York?
[01:00:04.770 --> 01:00:05.490]  Yeah.
[01:00:05.870 --> 01:00:06.350]  Okay.
[01:00:06.570 --> 01:00:11.050]  Since this conference takes place in New York, I just want to mention the local organizations.
[01:00:12.570 --> 01:00:15.150]  All 501c3 is the Juhlenspiegel Society.
[01:00:15.650 --> 01:00:16.370]  Okay, Tess.
[01:00:16.590 --> 01:00:16.770]  Yes.
[01:00:17.310 --> 01:00:18.570]  Did you mention these arrays?
[01:00:18.810 --> 01:00:21.690]  No, unfortunately I didn't because I didn't have time, but yeah.
[01:00:22.690 --> 01:00:24.070]  Lesbian Sex Mafia.
[01:00:24.410 --> 01:00:25.830]  Do they still meet?
[01:00:26.230 --> 01:00:26.790]  Yeah, they do.
[01:00:26.790 --> 01:00:27.050]  Okay.
[01:00:27.210 --> 01:00:29.430]  They had a meeting last night.
[01:00:29.590 --> 01:00:33.210]  And if I may ask, are they just lesbian or are they any women who partner with women?
[01:00:33.210 --> 01:00:36.110]  People who identify as females.
[01:00:36.270 --> 01:00:36.430]  Okay.
[01:00:36.630 --> 01:00:39.030]  And also don some friends.
[01:00:39.390 --> 01:00:39.730]  Okay.
[01:00:39.990 --> 01:00:42.950]  So I know Alita Wolf does a leather calendar.
[01:00:43.330 --> 01:00:44.290]  I do a calendar.
[01:00:44.670 --> 01:00:51.610]  If you look at those sites, you'll find a lot of places or organizations to meet in person.
[01:00:52.490 --> 01:00:59.950]  In Washington, D.C., just to add on to that, because this is where I know, we have Black Rose, which is, I think it's BR.org.
[01:01:01.110 --> 01:01:10.370]  We have this group called Dark Odyssey, which goes also into polyamory and tantric and sexual spiritual things.
[01:01:10.760 --> 01:01:15.070]  And they have a D.C.-based happy hour every Thursday.
[01:01:16.960 --> 01:01:25.990]  There is The Crucible, which hosts not only BDSM events, but also swingers events and other kinds of sexual things.
[01:01:26.590 --> 01:01:36.710]  And there is a wonderful calendar online of just about every single f*cking kinky thing that ever happens in D.C., whether it's kinky or the leather community or something.
[01:01:37.050 --> 01:01:39.910]  And it's put together by a wonderful lady named Free.
[01:01:40.830 --> 01:01:43.290]  And for the life of me, I don't remember the URL.
[01:01:43.750 --> 01:01:47.230]  And the one thing I don't like about her calendar is she doesn't have an RSS feed.
[01:01:47.670 --> 01:01:48.530]  It's kind of sad.
[01:01:49.050 --> 01:01:51.590]  It would be nice if she had some kind of RSS on that.
[01:01:52.090 --> 01:01:54.050]  Or did it in Google Calendar or something.
[01:01:55.290 --> 01:01:58.190]  I think it's dcbdsm.org, I think.
[01:01:58.350 --> 01:02:03.350]  But if you look up dcbdsm calendar, I mean, it's literally so packed that every single night has something going on.
[01:02:03.790 --> 01:02:08.690]  Because at least she also includes WIP, West Virginia Humans into Perfersions.
[01:02:08.970 --> 01:02:14.550]  She includes BESS, which is the Baltimore Educational and Social Society, which is their BDSM organization.
[01:02:16.530 --> 01:02:18.490]  So that'll get you going, at least in my area.
[01:02:18.890 --> 01:02:25.430]  And if anyone else is from any other area and would like to come up and talk about their open sexual stuff in their area, please come on up and talk about it.
[01:02:26.410 --> 01:02:26.730]  Hi.
[01:02:27.110 --> 01:02:27.350]  Hello.
[01:02:28.410 --> 01:02:37.110]  I just wanted to mention, just because I think it's odd, it hasn't been mentioned, but as far as a little non-sub thing goes to the classic book, of course, the story of O.
[01:02:38.790 --> 01:02:41.250]  Yeah, the story of O is a very classic piece of erotica.
[01:02:41.850 --> 01:02:43.830]  Just probably a warning I should have given earlier.
[01:02:44.670 --> 01:02:46.570]  Erotica is not real life.
[01:02:46.910 --> 01:02:48.730]  Some of it can be based on real life.
[01:02:48.990 --> 01:02:52.950]  But a lot of stuff goes down there that you really couldn't or shouldn't do in real life.
[01:02:53.030 --> 01:02:54.410]  And I think a lot of people forget this.
[01:02:54.490 --> 01:02:56.030]  It's very important to remember.
[01:02:57.190 --> 01:03:05.770]  You can get ideas from them, but kind of have to put them through the sane and consensual test before you actually go doing some of this stuff.
[01:03:08.900 --> 01:03:09.880]  It's kind of quiet.
[01:03:10.820 --> 01:03:11.320]  Let's see.
[01:03:12.460 --> 01:03:12.660]  Oh.
[01:03:14.460 --> 01:03:17.640]  Is that my cue to get everyone the hell out of the room?
[01:03:21.380 --> 01:03:25.360]  Does anybody else have any other questions or things they'd like to say or question stuff?
[01:03:25.440 --> 01:03:26.280]  Please, don't be shy.
[01:03:26.280 --> 01:03:26.300]  Yeah.
[01:03:26.820 --> 01:03:33.720]  And of course, honestly, if you are shy and you'd like to come up and ask me stuff or email me with stuff, that's one... go right ahead.
[01:03:34.700 --> 01:03:36.940]  My email address is c4bl3fL4m3 at gmail.
[01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:38.460]  Hi.
[01:03:46.000 --> 01:03:48.620]  Oh, that's a big question.
[01:03:50.360 --> 01:03:50.960]  I'm sorry.
[01:03:51.040 --> 01:03:51.620]  I can't hear you.
[01:03:56.220 --> 01:03:58.700]  It can have many different effects.
[01:03:59.520 --> 01:04:02.040]  There are whole books written on just that subject.
[01:04:02.360 --> 01:04:04.340]  So let me try to go into some of the basic stuff.
[01:04:06.080 --> 01:04:18.200]  Personally, I'm not the best person to ask about this because when I start entering relationships, I say I'm only entering open relationships and if a closed relationship is what you need, then we're not going to be able to be together because I just can't do that.
[01:04:20.300 --> 01:04:25.880]  In any kind of open relationship, there can always be feelings of jealousy.
[01:04:26.580 --> 01:04:29.180]  There are people who are like, poly people don't get jealous.
[01:04:29.600 --> 01:04:30.600]  Point and laugh at them.
[01:04:31.420 --> 01:04:32.520]  It's just not true.
[01:04:32.520 --> 01:04:34.300]  Poly people do get jealous.
[01:04:34.500 --> 01:04:35.280]  I get jealous.
[01:04:35.780 --> 01:04:36.700]  I mean, everyone does.
[01:04:36.900 --> 01:04:37.780]  It's to the degree.
[01:04:39.400 --> 01:04:42.500]  Jealousy can arise, but unlike whenever...
[01:04:42.500 --> 01:04:48.240]  Okay, when you're in therapy, you learn that you have to own your own emotions, that my emotions are my own and I have to learn how to deal with them.
[01:04:48.920 --> 01:04:52.020]  For some reason, in our society, we don't teach that about jealousy.
[01:04:52.020 --> 01:04:54.820]  We say, well, you made me jealous, so you have to stop doing that.
[01:04:54.820 --> 01:04:59.900]  And no, jealousy is an emotion of yourself and it's important to...
[01:04:59.900 --> 01:05:12.440]  The book on ethical slut has an entire really, really, really good chapter on jealousy that I would really like to give to a whole bunch of monogamous couples and be like, yeah, you know what?
[01:05:12.500 --> 01:05:15.740]  That whole jealousy thing you're doing, it's driving everyone else around you f*cking nuts.
[01:05:15.860 --> 01:05:16.500]  Please read this.
[01:05:16.500 --> 01:05:19.840]  You don't have to become open, just knock it off with the jealousy crap.
[01:05:20.100 --> 01:05:22.640]  You love each other, f*cking trust each other already, you know?
[01:05:23.440 --> 01:05:27.440]  Which obviously isn't always going to be the most helpful advice, but seriously, reading the book is great.
[01:05:27.520 --> 01:05:30.640]  There's jealousy issues, there's issues of...
[01:05:30.640 --> 01:05:33.520]  One of the big issues that happens with open relationships is just time.
[01:05:33.880 --> 01:05:40.400]  I mean, as much as someone might like to have five hours, five lovers, there are 24 hours in a day, there are seven days in a week.
[01:05:40.660 --> 01:05:46.020]  And in there, you've got to sleep, you've got to eat, you've got to go to the bathroom, and most likely, you've got to go to work.
[01:05:47.520 --> 01:05:51.180]  Or you've got to, you know, care for the kids if you have them, or you have to keep house if you have it.
[01:05:52.160 --> 01:05:53.180]  I can really...
[01:05:53.180 --> 01:05:57.360]  Thank you, I'm so sorry.
[01:06:00.140 --> 01:06:01.780]  So there's the time constraint.
[01:06:01.980 --> 01:06:04.440]  There are jealousy issues that can be worked through.
[01:06:05.160 --> 01:06:06.000]  Well, not always.
[01:06:06.100 --> 01:06:07.560]  Some people can, some people can't.
[01:06:07.860 --> 01:06:09.300]  Other things about going open.
[01:06:09.910 --> 01:06:16.340]  Some people say that, you know, if we're going to be poly, you know, we're going to set a certain amount of people, and we all have to love each other.
[01:06:16.480 --> 01:06:18.940]  Some people say, hey, you know what?
[01:06:19.200 --> 01:06:21.560]  I want to be with you, but yeah, go ahead.
[01:06:21.700 --> 01:06:23.300]  F*ck whoever the hell else you want on this side.
[01:06:25.500 --> 01:06:28.480]  Some people be, f*ck whoever the hell else you want on this side, just don't let me know.
[01:06:29.800 --> 01:06:33.660]  Many people have found that this is oftentimes not the best way to go about it.
[01:06:33.800 --> 01:06:35.300]  Some people, this is the only way they can do it.
[01:06:35.860 --> 01:06:37.640]  If it actually ends up working for you, great.
[01:06:38.080 --> 01:06:40.860]  But for many people, they find that this doesn't end up working.
[01:06:43.460 --> 01:06:44.300]  Because of the whole...
[01:06:44.880 --> 01:06:45.840]  So you find...
[01:06:45.840 --> 01:06:57.720]  So, you know, you hear that your lover has another lover, and you automatically assume that they are hotter than Cindy Crawford, and smarter than Einstein, and just so much better than you, and then you end up feeling like, oh, I can't compete with them,
[01:06:57.820 --> 01:06:59.020]  and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[01:06:59.540 --> 01:07:02.040]  Getting to know your partner's partners is a wonderful thing.
[01:07:02.220 --> 01:07:05.080]  Because you find out, hey, look, they're a person, too.
[01:07:05.240 --> 01:07:06.580]  How do you like that, you know?
[01:07:07.810 --> 01:07:12.720]  And oftentimes, you'll have many things in common, so you end up becoming good friends with each other.
[01:07:12.880 --> 01:07:16.520]  My current lover, Winter Rose, he met my old...
[01:07:16.520 --> 01:07:18.020]  We called each other companion.
[01:07:18.240 --> 01:07:19.920]  We never actually ended up having sex.
[01:07:20.120 --> 01:07:25.180]  But my old lover, and he goes by Nye, and they hit it off well as friends.
[01:07:25.180 --> 01:07:26.580]  They're great friends, and it's...
[01:07:26.580 --> 01:07:32.280]  There's something in the poly community that's called compersion.
[01:07:32.580 --> 01:07:34.240]  It's basically the opposite of jealousy.
[01:07:34.520 --> 01:07:41.440]  When you're happy about your lovers being happy with their other lovers, and there's really a slang term called frubbles.
[01:07:41.740 --> 01:07:47.720]  And to see Winter Rose and Nye, you know, palling around and being friends just fills me with frubbles.
[01:07:47.860 --> 01:07:48.300]  It's wonderful.
[01:07:49.200 --> 01:07:51.440]  So, did I answer your question?
[01:07:51.880 --> 01:07:52.640]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:07:52.640 --> 01:07:59.260]  Yeah, honestly, a lot of what I just said to you, I specifically remember reading in the ethical slot.
[01:07:59.820 --> 01:08:04.440]  So, I highly recommend, for a reason, the book.
[01:08:05.560 --> 01:08:10.640]  In the world of poly, is it mostly people who are really in a homosexual?
[01:08:10.980 --> 01:08:17.620]  Is there loving one person, having sex with a bunch, and feeling okay with being distinctive?
[01:08:19.160 --> 01:08:23.300]  There's as many styles of poly as there are that you can think of, to be honest with you.
[01:08:23.900 --> 01:08:28.240]  There are some people who will be like, well, you all have to be in love, or it's not really poly.
[01:08:28.560 --> 01:08:30.000]  I laugh at these people.
[01:08:31.200 --> 01:08:39.040]  There are some places that poly has a very distinctive definition, that this is what it means, and anything else outside that might be an open relationship.
[01:08:39.280 --> 01:08:40.520]  It might be non-monogamous, but it's not poly.
[01:08:41.040 --> 01:08:44.840]  There are places that include any kind of ethical sleeping around as poly.
[01:08:46.340 --> 01:08:48.460]  So, pretty much your answer is, yes.
[01:08:49.380 --> 01:08:50.740]  Yes, all of the above, yes.
[01:08:52.720 --> 01:08:55.500]  If you can imagine it, and you can make it work for you, you can do it.
[01:08:56.040 --> 01:09:04.680]  I mean, it's all about you realizing, you choosing your own relationship style, and you say, hey, you know what, f*ck this.
[01:09:04.840 --> 01:09:07.080]  I'm gonna do what works for me, and that's why I became poly.
[01:09:07.240 --> 01:09:09.720]  I'll be honest, I became poly because I was cheating on my boyfriend.
[01:09:10.760 --> 01:09:12.820]  He was a dick in the end, I dumped him.
[01:09:14.520 --> 01:09:16.660]  However, I realized that, you know what?
[01:09:17.400 --> 01:09:20.700]  In the future, if I'm gonna love someone, I don't want to hide it from them.
[01:09:21.100 --> 01:09:21.660]  F*ck no.
[01:09:22.020 --> 01:09:25.460]  I just, I'd rather tell them straight out and hope to God they understand.
[01:09:26.500 --> 01:09:28.820]  And that's why I went down the non-monogamy road.
[01:09:29.320 --> 01:09:32.840]  Because I realized, you know what, if I love someone, they deserve to know the truth.
[01:09:33.740 --> 01:09:35.320]  And hopefully they'll be okay with it.
[01:09:35.420 --> 01:09:36.780]  You know, the whole truth will set you free thing.
[01:09:43.840 --> 01:09:45.300]  Cece, I'm a little envious of you.
[01:09:45.360 --> 01:09:47.780]  I wish I was the one standing up there just walking around with the mic.
[01:09:47.780 --> 01:09:48.480]  And stuff, yeah.
[01:09:49.020 --> 01:09:50.480]  I apologize, sorry.
[01:09:51.860 --> 01:09:52.260]  Don't.
[01:09:52.260 --> 01:09:56.780]  The brain machine?
[01:09:56.940 --> 01:09:57.140]  Yeah.
[01:09:57.620 --> 01:09:58.580]  What brain machine?
[01:09:58.820 --> 01:09:59.820]  That one that I made right there.
[01:10:00.160 --> 01:10:00.540]  So, yeah.
[01:10:00.900 --> 01:10:01.440]  What are you pointing at?
[01:10:01.500 --> 01:10:01.860]  Those things.
[01:10:02.240 --> 01:10:02.600]  Oh, what?
[01:10:02.720 --> 01:10:03.740]  Oh, those!
[01:10:04.020 --> 01:10:04.940]  Oh, you made that?
[01:10:05.140 --> 01:10:05.480]  Yes.
[01:10:05.920 --> 01:10:07.220]  Okay, now here's what's really cool.
[01:10:07.220 --> 01:10:18.860]  My hypnotherapist friend has a professional version of this with earphones and headphones for binaural inductions, which is things, tones going on in both ears.
[01:10:18.980 --> 01:10:19.840]  And I've played with them before.
[01:10:20.140 --> 01:10:23.120]  They don't necessarily work with ADD or ADHD people.
[01:10:23.480 --> 01:10:28.560]  Personally, I f*cking hate those lights because they're way too bright and they hurt my eyes.
[01:10:28.680 --> 01:10:34.580]  I don't know about that specific one, but I don't have enough time to talk really that much about hypnosis.
[01:10:34.620 --> 01:10:36.100]  There are multiple types of inductions.
[01:10:36.440 --> 01:10:43.620]  And one of them is a confusion induction where basically you get the mind so f*cking muddled that it's just trying to keep up and doing something and then you tell them to go down.
[01:10:44.080 --> 01:10:47.700]  And they're like, oh, thank God, I can let go of it and just relax and they go into hypnosis.
[01:10:48.760 --> 01:10:50.900]  There are types, and there are many other types.
[01:10:51.040 --> 01:10:56.520]  There are types, the whole swinging watch stereotype, yeah, that's actually a form of hypnosis you can do.
[01:10:58.120 --> 01:11:07.520]  I found personally with me, I absolutely hate the confusion inductions because it works, but I'm also, when I get down, that I'm not feeling good.
[01:11:07.760 --> 01:11:09.100]  I'm like I do if it doesn't feel good.
[01:11:09.100 --> 01:11:09.620]  I like that noise.
[01:11:10.540 --> 01:11:17.020]  And I've found that the blinking of the lights and the pulsating of the different sounds from it just doesn't do it for me.
[01:11:17.100 --> 01:11:17.660]  But you know what?
[01:11:17.820 --> 01:11:20.400]  There are people who totally swear by those things.
[01:11:20.480 --> 01:11:21.900]  Oh my God, I've heard the stories.
[01:11:25.000 --> 01:11:26.780]  I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?
[01:11:27.040 --> 01:11:27.920]  Great tangent.
[01:11:28.160 --> 01:11:29.000]  It was really great.
[01:11:29.100 --> 01:11:29.440]  I mean...
[01:11:29.440 --> 01:11:30.520]  I'm sorry, I tangent.
[01:11:30.700 --> 01:11:32.000]  Did I forget to say that?
[01:11:32.160 --> 01:11:33.600]  I tangent a lot.
[01:11:34.320 --> 01:11:39.140]  No, just one thing to expand on your question and all that, going from the model to poly.
[01:11:40.360 --> 01:11:42.620]  And like I said, sorry I was in here at the beginning.
[01:11:43.100 --> 01:11:43.960]  Oh, don't apologize.
[01:11:44.400 --> 01:11:55.600]  I may be repeating something, but really communicate with your partner that you're wanting to go from mono to poly, as well as figure out what your ground rules are, what your heart limits are.
[01:11:56.020 --> 01:12:05.160]  Basically like, for example, only women come in as poly for your extra partner.
[01:12:05.160 --> 01:12:08.980]  or if it's okay with couples or even a single male.
[01:12:09.220 --> 01:12:24.740]  Just make sure that you have your ground rules set because there is nothing more freakier than to have set your ground rules and then all of a sudden your partner's going off to do something that was totally unexpected.
[01:12:25.700 --> 01:12:26.500]  And just...
[01:12:26.500 --> 01:12:26.740]  It really...
[01:12:29.820 --> 01:12:30.400]  But yeah.
[01:12:30.600 --> 01:12:32.060]  This is good prevailing wisdom.
[01:12:32.740 --> 01:12:37.560]  Personally, I know from my own personal experiences that when I started, I didn't know where my boundaries were.
[01:12:37.820 --> 01:12:45.300]  Know that at the beginning, if you don't have all of your rules set in stone, it's gonna happen and you're gonna hit a landmine.
[01:12:45.660 --> 01:12:47.280]  It just... it's just part of the experience.
[01:12:47.440 --> 01:12:49.440]  You could talk as much... or you could talk as much as you want.
[01:12:49.520 --> 01:12:50.260]  You could say you're gonna be okay.
[01:12:50.260 --> 01:12:52.820]  And then when it happens, you're an absolute wreck.
[01:12:54.060 --> 01:12:54.100]  Yes.
[01:12:54.240 --> 01:12:57.620]  So, I mean, people say, you know, figure out your ground rules before you start.
[01:12:57.900 --> 01:12:58.700]  This is good.
[01:12:59.460 --> 01:13:02.660]  Just... just know that, yeah, this is gonna happen.
[01:13:04.400 --> 01:13:06.820]  Personally, this is my own personal feelings about poly.
[01:13:06.960 --> 01:13:14.820]  The reason that I am poly... the reason that I am non-monogamous is because of a feminist belief that I own my own body and only I can say what I do with it.
[01:13:14.820 --> 01:13:17.320]  That includes who I love and who I f*ck.
[01:13:18.640 --> 01:13:23.880]  So, whereas ground rules are such as, you know, we can do it together, but we can't do it, you know, if you're not around.
[01:13:24.440 --> 01:13:27.920]  These... these are things that, personally, I have a problem with.
[01:13:28.060 --> 01:13:29.060]  Because it's like, I'm sorry.
[01:13:29.220 --> 01:13:30.440]  I thought I owned my own body.
[01:13:30.520 --> 01:13:32.440]  I thought I decided what I could do with it.
[01:13:32.880 --> 01:13:38.380]  I have a... I personally... I don't get a lot of monogamous relationships when people say that, you know, you can't do this and you can't do that.
[01:13:38.520 --> 01:13:39.400]  It's just foreign to me.
[01:13:39.480 --> 01:13:41.820]  And if you can explain it to me and make me understand, I'd love to know.
[01:13:43.800 --> 01:13:45.840]  But, you know, you've got to do what works for you.
[01:13:46.120 --> 01:13:48.280]  This is why I'm saying this, personally, is my thing.
[01:13:48.620 --> 01:13:50.800]  Please don't try to follow that if that's not your thing.
[01:13:50.960 --> 01:13:51.760]  Do what works for you.
[01:13:52.560 --> 01:13:53.920]  Just one other true thing.
[01:13:54.240 --> 01:14:01.340]  If one of those things, you know, ground rules, whatever you say, it doesn't happen, don't put that right there.
[01:14:02.540 --> 01:14:05.560]  Just, when it's done and over with, let them enjoy it.
[01:14:06.220 --> 01:14:08.600]  And just, later on, talk to them about it.
[01:14:09.360 --> 01:14:10.660]  Because there's nothing more...
[01:14:11.480 --> 01:14:15.800]  It makes you, the person that's looking out, look more of an ass than that person is.
[01:14:15.880 --> 01:14:16.220]  Absolutely.
[01:14:17.000 --> 01:14:19.000]  So, just go ahead and...
[01:14:19.000 --> 01:14:21.900]  And it could also make a big partner that you're there with.
[01:14:21.980 --> 01:14:23.800]  Well, yeah, it also affects that person, yeah.
[01:14:24.020 --> 01:14:24.120]  Yeah.
[01:14:24.280 --> 01:14:25.500]  You know, it also affects that person.
[01:14:25.680 --> 01:14:26.920]  Yeah, um...
[01:14:26.920 --> 01:14:30.420]  Just basically your vibes just kind of go out and ruins the whole area.
[01:14:31.000 --> 01:14:31.900]  Also, um...
[01:14:32.500 --> 01:14:35.460]  I've been a secondary in a lot of relationships recently, it seems like.
[01:14:36.940 --> 01:14:37.740]  And, um...
[01:14:37.740 --> 01:14:40.360]  Something that the Ethical Slot touched on at one point, but I found...
[01:14:40.360 --> 01:14:43.220]  There really is no good book on polyamory for being the secondary.
[01:14:43.700 --> 01:14:44.740]  There is no good book.
[01:14:44.940 --> 01:14:45.160]  I...
[01:14:45.160 --> 01:14:47.380]  I'd write it myself, but I want the book, you know?
[01:14:47.740 --> 01:14:50.600]  I want someone else to be giving me this really great advice on how to be a secondary.
[01:14:51.940 --> 01:14:52.340]  Um...
[01:14:52.340 --> 01:14:53.080]  But...
[01:14:54.340 --> 01:14:54.740]  There's...
[01:14:54.740 --> 01:14:56.360]  As a secondary, you have rights too.
[01:14:56.980 --> 01:14:57.300]  If...
[01:14:57.300 --> 01:14:58.740]  Let's say...
[01:14:58.740 --> 01:14:59.100]  You know...
[01:14:59.100 --> 01:15:00.260]  This was the...
[01:15:00.260 --> 01:15:01.700]  The example in the Ethical Slot.
[01:15:02.300 --> 01:15:02.620]  Um...
[01:15:02.620 --> 01:15:03.800]  You make a date with...
[01:15:03.800 --> 01:15:05.540]  The person that you're a secondary to.
[01:15:05.920 --> 01:15:11.160]  And their other partner makes a date, and they always say that they're only going to go out on dates on the same night, so that you guys don't feel bad about it.
[01:15:12.860 --> 01:15:13.180]  Um...
[01:15:13.180 --> 01:15:15.680]  And then their other date canceled, so then they start canceling with you.
[01:15:15.780 --> 01:15:17.140]  Well, they start f*cking with you here.
[01:15:17.600 --> 01:15:17.920]  And...
[01:15:17.920 --> 01:15:19.760]  Just because you're secondary doesn't mean you're a homewrecker.
[01:15:20.300 --> 01:15:21.440]  It doesn't mean you don't have rights.
[01:15:21.560 --> 01:15:23.160]  It doesn't mean that you don't have a right to say, hey, listen.
[01:15:23.380 --> 01:15:24.980]  This is messing with me now, and you just can't...
[01:15:24.980 --> 01:15:25.920]  You can't keep doing this.
[01:15:25.920 --> 01:15:31.800]  It's really important to be able to set your own ground rules and stand up for yourself and ask for what you need as a secondary.
[01:15:32.680 --> 01:15:34.200]  Thank you so much.
[01:15:40.780 --> 01:15:48.000]  It can cause drama.
[01:15:49.320 --> 01:15:51.080]  Preferably if someone's a secondary.
[01:15:51.260 --> 01:15:52.600]  You do need to let them know.
[01:15:52.720 --> 01:15:54.100]  You have other partners.
[01:15:57.060 --> 01:16:05.800]  Well, monogamous basically means that you're not going to have any other partners and they're not going to have any partners either.
[01:16:05.900 --> 01:16:06.900]  So they're not going to be monogamous.
[01:16:07.020 --> 01:16:09.440]  You certainly can take someone on that doesn't have any other partners.
[01:16:12.780 --> 01:16:16.740]  But I've certainly been in that situation where I've been a secondary and haven't any other partners.
[01:16:16.860 --> 01:16:18.100]  And I'll be honest, it hurt.
[01:16:18.680 --> 01:16:20.700]  I was at a place that I really needed a relationship.
[01:16:20.700 --> 01:16:22.060]  I really needed someone to love me.
[01:16:23.700 --> 01:16:30.720]  And my secondaries, the people who were in a secondary type relationship with me, and I was their secondary, just didn't have the resources.
[01:16:30.720 --> 01:16:31.740]  Like I said, time.
[01:16:32.400 --> 01:16:33.840]  Because there's always the big time thing.
[01:16:33.960 --> 01:16:36.980]  You know, you go to work, you drive to see the person, and...
[01:16:36.980 --> 01:16:38.240]  It can be rough.
[01:16:38.240 --> 01:16:39.640]  I'm not gonna lie to you.
[01:16:39.720 --> 01:16:44.220]  It's all about knowing what you want from a relationship, and then sticking by that.
[01:16:44.300 --> 01:16:50.800]  And if you find that what you learned from a relationship is different, if it changes and you just can't have that, don't kid yourself.
[01:16:50.800 --> 01:16:52.280]  It's so hard, personally.
[01:16:52.480 --> 01:16:54.220]  Oh God, it's so hard for me not to kid myself.
[01:16:54.420 --> 01:16:57.280]  I often times have a difficulty ending relationships when they're not working.
[01:16:57.400 --> 01:17:00.660]  Because I just want to be able to kid myself, because I know what I want.
[01:17:00.820 --> 01:17:02.520]  And it's so important to be honest with yourself.
[01:17:08.730 --> 01:17:09.370]  Anything else?
[01:17:09.810 --> 01:17:12.410]  This would be something else, because I'm trying to open this document.
[01:17:12.530 --> 01:17:14.830]  I'm trying to use this pad, and I'm having some difficulty with it.
[01:17:17.900 --> 01:17:18.480]  There we are.
[01:17:18.620 --> 01:17:19.040]  That's better.
[01:17:19.780 --> 01:17:22.980]  Open with... Word pad.
[01:17:23.360 --> 01:17:23.860]  There we are.
[01:17:24.540 --> 01:17:25.420]  Any other questions?
[01:17:25.580 --> 01:17:26.580]  Any other comments or anything?
[01:17:28.680 --> 01:17:29.120]  Okay.
[01:17:29.120 --> 01:17:30.840]  Did I get to mention any of the books that I like?
[01:17:31.860 --> 01:17:35.800]  Oh, the authors of The Ethical Slut, which is...
[01:17:36.600 --> 01:17:38.200]  Dawsey Easton and Catherine A.
[01:17:38.360 --> 01:17:42.140]  List, who's actually Janet Hardy writing under a pen name.
[01:17:43.080 --> 01:17:47.100]  I adore these authors more than anything, and you know, if I met them, I swear to God, I'd kiss their feet.
[01:17:47.920 --> 01:17:49.000]  They write very well.
[01:17:49.220 --> 01:17:52.740]  They've also written books called The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book.
[01:17:52.840 --> 01:17:54.220]  And The New Topping Book is not about pizza.
[01:17:56.960 --> 01:17:59.960]  As one of my friends once said, that's what I was writing about him.
[01:18:00.300 --> 01:18:02.980]  I was writing about it, and he's like, is there something wrong that I thought about pizza?
[01:18:03.060 --> 01:18:08.180]  And I wrote back, I'm like, dude, olives, onions, mushrooms, and sausage for the win.
[01:18:10.060 --> 01:18:12.200]  It's about BDSM.
[01:18:12.540 --> 01:18:15.560]  And they write a bunch of other books that are really, really wonderful.
[01:18:16.300 --> 01:18:24.920]  I can't recommend Janet Hardy or Dawsey Easton's works any more highly than I already have.
[01:18:25.240 --> 01:18:29.300]  There's a book called Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, which I honestly have never read.
[01:18:29.600 --> 01:18:35.340]  And if anybody has, you know, let me know how it was and if it was good.
[01:18:35.340 --> 01:18:36.240]  I've flumbed through it.
[01:18:36.280 --> 01:18:42.960]  It seems to be more of a how-to book, whereas The New Topping and New Bottoming Book is more about theory and about mind spaces and stuff like that.
[01:18:44.300 --> 01:18:47.240]  I'm trying to think of other favorite sex books on my shelf.
[01:18:47.600 --> 01:18:50.540]  I'm big into gender, so I love Kate Bornstein.
[01:18:50.720 --> 01:18:52.940]  I love the gender workbook.
[01:18:55.360 --> 01:19:08.260]  I like Pat slash Patrick Califia's works, Macho Sluts, Doing It for Daddy, which are both erotic books.
[01:19:09.620 --> 01:19:17.320]  Speaking Sex to Power, which is a really great book on theory, which goes places that even makes me nervous and uncomfortable talking about sexually, and that's saying something.
[01:19:19.560 --> 01:19:23.400]  I'm trying to think of some of my other absolute favorite books, the ones I like having with me when I can.
[01:19:25.000 --> 01:19:27.580]  Anyone else out here have any really good books that they've read about sex?
[01:19:28.920 --> 01:19:29.720]  Like Dimension?
[01:19:30.640 --> 01:19:31.280]  Let's see here.
[01:19:31.580 --> 01:19:32.120]  Go ahead.
[01:19:37.200 --> 01:19:40.940]  I was at Test Fest last weekend, and... How was that, by the way?
[01:19:41.080 --> 01:19:41.920]  It was awesome.
[01:19:42.100 --> 01:19:42.420]  Awesome.
[01:19:44.540 --> 01:19:48.240]  One of the things that was mentioned was the bottoming book and the topping book.
[01:19:50.680 --> 01:19:51.080]  And...
[01:19:51.480 --> 01:19:52.880]  Which, actually, I just mentioned.
[01:19:53.180 --> 01:19:54.760]  That was the older version?
[01:19:54.980 --> 01:19:55.120]  Yeah.
[01:19:55.180 --> 01:19:58.680]  The new topping book and the new bottoming book is the same thing, just updated versions?
[01:19:58.680 --> 01:20:03.760]  And Dossie Eastland teaches at Dark Odyssey quite often.
[01:20:03.940 --> 01:20:04.460]  Yeah, I know.
[01:20:04.540 --> 01:20:05.280]  I didn't get to go see her.
[01:20:05.320 --> 01:20:05.820]  It was so sad.
[01:20:06.000 --> 01:20:09.760]  They went up and taught at Spring Fire, Dark Odyssey Spring Fire.
[01:20:10.080 --> 01:20:10.540]  Oh, she did.
[01:20:11.180 --> 01:20:12.900]  So they do teach in a memory.
[01:20:12.900 --> 01:20:15.580]  That's actually how I met her, because she was there.
[01:20:16.200 --> 01:20:16.840]  Let's see here.
[01:20:17.240 --> 01:20:20.040]  Okay, I'll just briefly read off my like more info.
[01:20:20.280 --> 01:20:25.220]  General sexual info and advice, there's a website called Scarleteen.com, written by a woman named Heather Corinna.
[01:20:25.220 --> 01:20:26.580]  Yeah, it says teen in it.
[01:20:26.680 --> 01:20:27.640]  Just ignore it says teen.
[01:20:27.800 --> 01:20:31.040]  I go to it when I need straight up sexual information.
[01:20:32.160 --> 01:20:33.060]  Oh, hold on a sec.
[01:20:34.080 --> 01:20:35.240]  Options, word wrap.
[01:20:36.040 --> 01:20:36.680]  Thank you.
[01:20:36.960 --> 01:20:37.420]  There we go.
[01:20:39.900 --> 01:20:45.280]  It's written by Heather Corinna, who also writes a book, a site called Scarlet Letters, which is a wonderful site of erotica.
[01:20:45.280 --> 01:20:51.580]  She wrote Scarleteen because she had all these teenagers coming to her asking her for general sexual advice.
[01:20:51.720 --> 01:20:53.720]  Because, I mean, if you look up sex on the Internet, what do you get?
[01:20:53.800 --> 01:20:54.920]  You get crappy ass porn.
[01:20:55.040 --> 01:20:56.620]  Well, maybe good porn, depending on what you're into.
[01:20:57.380 --> 01:21:03.380]  But it's really hard to get just, you know, good sexual information from someone you can trust, which is why she started up Scarleteen.
[01:21:04.160 --> 01:21:04.880]  It's fantastic.
[01:21:06.960 --> 01:21:09.580]  One of my favorite blogs is Suzy Bright's blog.
[01:21:09.740 --> 01:21:11.020]  I love Suzy Bright.
[01:21:11.160 --> 01:21:12.940]  She talks, but she also talks about politics.
[01:21:12.940 --> 01:21:15.560]  Sometimes she talks about really good-sounding recipes.
[01:21:15.720 --> 01:21:16.600]  I've got to try sometimes.
[01:21:16.840 --> 01:21:18.300]  She's a very prolific writer.
[01:21:18.440 --> 01:21:20.220]  She's written a number of books on sexuality.
[01:21:20.220 --> 01:21:21.400]  I think she's wonderful.
[01:21:21.760 --> 01:21:25.420]  I don't have the URL for that off the top of my head, but if you look it up, it comes up.
[01:21:25.740 --> 01:21:31.540]  There's a lady named Violet Blue who has a website, tinynibbles.com, which is called Open Source Sexuality.
[01:21:32.180 --> 01:21:36.240]  I think she covered HOPE for Wired before, if I'm not mistaken.
[01:21:36.600 --> 01:21:37.520]  She's a good one.
[01:21:38.520 --> 01:21:40.580]  Okay, I already talked about erotic hypnosis.
[01:21:41.080 --> 01:21:41.840]  Let's see here.
[01:21:43.560 --> 01:21:45.140]  Winter Rose's mind control fact.
[01:21:45.300 --> 01:21:52.120]  Yes, this is my lover, but he really writes well, I have to admit, which includes erotic hypnotism on it.
[01:21:52.620 --> 01:21:57.060]  There is a Yahoo group for the virtual hypnotist, which is a freeware program.
[01:21:57.360 --> 01:22:00.520]  The program allows you to hypnotize yourself with a spiral in words on the screen.
[01:22:01.000 --> 01:22:10.480]  The author of the program is into erotic hypnotism himself, and the sister group to this virtual hypnotist group, which is named Hypnotic Words, is full of free scripts for it, and most of them are erotic.
[01:22:10.940 --> 01:22:12.600]  What's the name of the virtual hypnotist?
[01:22:12.940 --> 01:22:19.720]  Virtual hypnotist, the Yahoo group is, let's see, it's a long one, health.groups.yahoo.com slash group slash virtual hypnotist.
[01:22:21.280 --> 01:22:28.200]  There is an erotic hypnosis ezine, which is at hypnosisaddiction.com, which I don't know how ethical they are.
[01:22:28.340 --> 01:22:31.860]  I haven't actually had the chance to check that out, but it got thrown out there.
[01:22:32.740 --> 01:22:40.340]  There is the Mind Control Story Archives Forum, which is mcforum.net, which is also a really great place to go if you're into erotic hypnosis.
[01:22:41.400 --> 01:22:42.120]  Let's see here.
[01:22:42.260 --> 01:22:42.840]  Low battery.
[01:22:43.260 --> 01:22:43.680]  Oh, dear.
[01:22:45.060 --> 01:22:48.200]  Oh, another great sex toy, sex slash sexual information website.
[01:22:48.420 --> 01:22:48.820]  Blowfish.
[01:22:49.660 --> 01:22:50.500]  Blowfish is great.
[01:22:50.640 --> 01:22:51.860]  They don't have an offline store.
[01:22:51.960 --> 01:22:53.360]  They're just an online store that I know of.
[01:22:53.360 --> 01:22:58.920]  But they also have the real good, you know, sexual education, as well as selling a sex toys mindset.
[01:22:59.000 --> 01:23:04.280]  And they have a place of, with erotica and stuff like that, which are mainly written.
[01:23:04.460 --> 01:23:05.500]  And I totally forget what it's called.
[01:23:05.600 --> 01:23:06.180]  Do you remember it?
[01:23:06.400 --> 01:23:09.260]  Thomas Roche is one of the contributors for the blog.
[01:23:09.460 --> 01:23:09.740]  Okay.
[01:23:10.900 --> 01:23:12.580]  Also, Eden Fantasies.
[01:23:12.840 --> 01:23:13.080]  Okay.
[01:23:14.060 --> 01:23:19.720]  Also, Vibe Review is a new online store that has sex toys.
[01:23:19.980 --> 01:23:20.140]  Cool.
[01:23:20.140 --> 01:23:22.780]  I think Sex Shop 360.
[01:23:23.300 --> 01:23:24.520]  But I think they're based out of...
[01:23:24.520 --> 01:23:24.740]  Okay.
[01:23:25.380 --> 01:23:25.920]  Yeah, there's...
[01:23:25.920 --> 01:23:26.220]  Oh, God.
[01:23:26.220 --> 01:23:27.860]  I can go into a number of really cool London places.
[01:23:28.460 --> 01:23:33.580]  Lovehoney.co.uk is not quite up to the par of, like, Blowfish and Babeland.
[01:23:33.720 --> 01:23:35.480]  But they're really starting to get there.
[01:23:37.660 --> 01:23:38.960]  Let's see here.
[01:23:39.480 --> 01:23:45.000]  Can I also recommend Corey Silverberg, who's the sexuality guide at about.com?
[01:23:45.340 --> 01:23:46.280]  Oh, my God.
[01:23:46.280 --> 01:23:46.560]  Yes.
[01:23:46.560 --> 01:23:47.220]  Please do.
[01:23:48.800 --> 01:23:49.600]  Please recommend...
[01:23:49.600 --> 01:23:51.180]  Surprisingly, about.com used to be crap.
[01:23:51.400 --> 01:23:54.820]  I did some of my research for my main talk on about.com.
[01:23:54.980 --> 01:23:56.620]  I learned a ton about Tantra.
[01:23:56.900 --> 01:23:58.060]  It is fantastic.
[01:23:58.500 --> 01:23:59.800]  Look up sexual issues on there.
[01:24:00.220 --> 01:24:02.940]  Also, I think sexuality.org has a bunch of interesting things.
[01:24:03.300 --> 01:24:06.800]  Unfortunately, my only problem with them is they don't cover as many cities as I'd like them to.
[01:24:08.040 --> 01:24:08.740]  Let's see here.
[01:24:08.940 --> 01:24:09.340]  BDSM.
[01:24:09.420 --> 01:24:10.260]  I mentioned Tess.
[01:24:10.380 --> 01:24:11.540]  I mentioned Black Rose and Dark Odyssey.
[01:24:11.880 --> 01:24:12.680]  I mentioned Bess.
[01:24:12.740 --> 01:24:13.620]  I mentioned Whip already.
[01:24:14.500 --> 01:24:18.420]  Unfortunately, I wish I knew the BDSM groups in other places around the country and around the world.
[01:24:19.880 --> 01:24:20.880]  Sexuality and spirituality.
[01:24:22.900 --> 01:24:24.120]  Barbara Carellis or Carellis?
[01:24:24.360 --> 01:24:24.880]  Barbara Carellis.
[01:24:25.560 --> 01:24:25.880]  Carellis.
[01:24:25.980 --> 01:24:26.680]  Is that how she pronounces it?
[01:24:27.920 --> 01:24:28.840]  Urban Tantra, right?
[01:24:28.960 --> 01:24:29.820]  Urban Tantra.
[01:24:31.740 --> 01:24:33.520]  And Annie Sprinkle used to be really into this.
[01:24:33.600 --> 01:24:36.180]  I don't know if she still is into the whole sexuality, spirituality thing.
[01:24:36.180 --> 01:24:39.000]  Is it the Baltimore erotic artist in this week?
[01:24:39.440 --> 01:24:40.060]  Oh, my God.
[01:24:40.140 --> 01:24:41.280]  She's that close to where I lived?
[01:24:41.460 --> 01:24:42.000]  Oh, man.
[01:24:42.060 --> 01:24:42.640]  And I'm up here.
[01:24:42.720 --> 01:24:43.320]  That's so not fair.
[01:24:45.360 --> 01:24:49.780]  For body modifications, a local group for me is Sacred Mark Sanctuary.
[01:24:50.880 --> 01:24:54.300]  I'll admit, I haven't really looked much about my outside area of this.
[01:24:54.360 --> 01:24:56.900]  I just know them because I know a number of people who do their stuff.
[01:24:58.180 --> 01:25:00.380]  I wish I had a really good link for sexual role play.
[01:25:00.380 --> 01:25:01.240]  I don't.
[01:25:02.180 --> 01:25:03.260]  I can do some research.
[01:25:03.780 --> 01:25:05.800]  I don't have a really good link for sexual techniques.
[01:25:07.220 --> 01:25:13.760]  Something that I wanted to mention about that is there's a gazillion of one different techniques out there.
[01:25:13.920 --> 01:25:18.940]  And I have to admit, my favorite, the one that gets me off the most, is just simple missionary.
[01:25:19.140 --> 01:25:21.280]  It's okay to have sex in missionary position.
[01:25:21.640 --> 01:25:23.620]  If it works for you, please do it.
[01:25:24.660 --> 01:25:26.060]  Somebody already mentioned Slashdung.
[01:25:26.980 --> 01:25:30.700]  There's a Wired article, The Ins and Outs of Teledildonics.
[01:25:31.480 --> 01:25:33.440]  And here's the about.com thing I mentioned.
[01:25:34.060 --> 01:25:36.000]  Tanynibbles.com has something on Teledildonics.
[01:25:36.400 --> 01:25:39.920]  For the technosexual ASFRs, there's Fembot Central.
[01:25:40.140 --> 01:25:43.620]  And there's a documentary called ASFR by Alison DeFriend, if you can find it.
[01:25:43.700 --> 01:25:44.900]  And God, if you can find it, let me know.
[01:25:44.960 --> 01:25:45.820]  I can't find it anywhere.
[01:25:46.920 --> 01:25:54.260]  Could I also mention Regina Lynn, who writes the sex technology column for Wire?
[01:25:54.260 --> 01:25:58.440]  She's at some conference in Nevada this week.
[01:25:58.460 --> 01:25:59.680]  Oh, it's a shame she couldn't be here.
[01:25:59.740 --> 01:26:03.080]  She was a sex toy, so she wrote a whole new art that I don't know, too.
[01:26:03.580 --> 01:26:04.320]  Excellent, excellent.
[01:26:04.340 --> 01:26:05.100]  That's a good idea.
[01:26:05.460 --> 01:26:09.240]  And the tablet I was using just died, so I can't continue rattling off my links.
[01:26:12.160 --> 01:26:14.220]  That's pretty much all that I have for right now.
[01:26:14.340 --> 01:26:18.280]  I'm pretty much talked out, unless you really want me to start going into other things, too, if you have any other questions.
[01:26:18.280 --> 01:26:20.780]  I mean, you guys are starting to look pretty tired here.
[01:26:22.740 --> 01:26:23.740]  I'm sorry, what, Daniel?
[01:26:25.020 --> 01:26:28.020]  I've said with the administrative resources, did you want to mention FetLife?
[01:26:29.180 --> 01:26:30.100]  Oh, God!
[01:26:30.500 --> 01:26:31.840]  FetLife, why did I not mention that?
[01:26:31.940 --> 01:26:34.080]  It's a brand new site that I've spent most of my time on.
[01:26:34.160 --> 01:26:36.760]  I'm sure when I get back, I'm going to have a gazillion emails from them of the discussion.
[01:26:36.960 --> 01:26:38.080]  FetLife is wonderful.
[01:26:39.200 --> 01:26:47.540]  FetLife is pretty much a social networking website that does it suck, because it's written by geeks and it's written by actual fetish people.
[01:26:47.540 --> 01:26:50.660]  So, instead of being by a bunch of people trying to make money, it's free.
[01:26:50.920 --> 01:26:54.680]  They say it's always going to be free, and it's totally free the way that YouTube is free.
[01:26:56.120 --> 01:26:59.960]  And they have a bunch of groups with really great discussions.
[01:27:00.800 --> 01:27:03.160]  Geeky and Kinky, or Kinky and Geeky, I forget what it's called.
[01:27:03.380 --> 01:27:07.920]  It's having wonderful discussions, and I can't recommend them more.
[01:27:08.080 --> 01:27:10.960]  They're just fantastic, and I've been meeting some really great people.
[01:27:11.140 --> 01:27:12.100]  So, thank you.
[01:27:12.260 --> 01:27:14.740]  Yes, I could ramble about FetLife all day, because I love them.
[01:27:14.740 --> 01:27:17.920]  John Baku, B-A-K-U, is on Twitter.
[01:27:18.620 --> 01:27:19.380]  Yes, that's right.
[01:27:19.440 --> 01:27:20.960]  The guy who invented is on Twitter.
[01:27:22.420 --> 01:27:25.540]  And there's actually a whole group of people trying to get him to put up naughty pics.
[01:27:29.040 --> 01:27:31.140]  Let's see here, is there anything else that I have?
[01:27:32.320 --> 01:27:35.620]  As I said before, if anyone's interested in talking to me privately, go right ahead.
[01:27:35.620 --> 01:27:38.120]  And that's pretty much all I have for right now.
[01:27:38.940 --> 01:27:39.840]  Unless you really want me to...