[00:05.240 --> 00:05.640]  Go.
[00:06.540 --> 00:07.380]  Hey, everybody.
[00:10.280 --> 00:11.300]  Welcome to the end.
[00:16.360 --> 00:20.660]  I've really been struggling with, is it a good thing to be the last speaker or not?
[00:20.800 --> 00:21.980]  It's kind of a backhanded compliment.
[00:22.160 --> 00:24.480]  Maybe people stick around the conference to hear you talk.
[00:24.740 --> 00:29.860]  Or maybe it's that they know no one's going to show up to your talk so you won't feel bad because everyone will have already left.
[00:34.580 --> 00:39.360]  And two years ago, I came to The Last HOPE.
[00:41.000 --> 00:59.540]  And I talked about a bunch of stuff that near as I've been able to track some 7,000 downloads and, I kid you not, three universities and two colleges using it as course material, I said some stuff.
[01:01.680 --> 01:04.320]  If you don't know about me, hi, my name's James.
[01:04.900 --> 01:06.360]  Sometimes people know me as Mercurial.
[01:07.220 --> 01:09.640]  I do all kinds of interesting security crap.
[01:10.060 --> 01:11.520]  I've been doing it for a long time.
[01:11.840 --> 01:17.020]  The most important thing that you need to know about me is that I am not an expert at anything.
[01:20.140 --> 01:25.460]  But I'm here to talk to you about your career and how your career might not be going the way that you thought it should.
[01:26.020 --> 01:28.440]  I mean, we all want to have awesome careers.
[01:28.520 --> 01:31.000]  How many people actually work in Infosec for real?
[01:32.040 --> 01:33.600]  Yeah, isn't it great?
[01:36.420 --> 01:37.800]  Isn't it awesome?
[01:40.000 --> 01:42.760]  So two years ago, everything was awesome.
[01:43.440 --> 01:44.560]  Money was flowing.
[01:44.960 --> 01:49.200]  We were buying more blinky lights and shiny things than any of us knew what to do with.
[01:50.380 --> 01:52.820]  Because blinky lights and shiny things are what makes the world secure.
[01:53.100 --> 01:54.160]  We all know this, right?
[01:55.860 --> 01:59.060]  There were lots of budgets, lots of room to spend money.
[01:59.180 --> 01:59.880]  We had teams.
[02:01.040 --> 02:06.260]  Everybody was getting promotions at a rate that looked more dot-com-ish than anything else.
[02:06.260 --> 02:14.420]  And you could find yourself going from intern to security analyst to CISO in about eight seconds and three steps.
[02:14.580 --> 02:15.880]  And it was terrific, wasn't it?
[02:17.300 --> 02:20.440]  Well, it was terrific for everybody because it was going to go on forever.
[02:20.680 --> 02:25.240]  And we all know that humanity increases exponentially.
[02:25.240 --> 02:28.700]  And it's just going to continue forever because that's the way the world works, right?
[02:30.400 --> 02:31.360]  And then...
[02:35.810 --> 02:39.790]  You should know this happened very, very shortly after I told you the world was rosy.
[02:41.370 --> 02:42.510]  It was kind of crushing.
[02:43.090 --> 02:44.090]  I felt bad.
[02:45.530 --> 02:50.590]  Well, I didn't feel really bad because people were still downloading the talk and still enjoying it.
[02:50.590 --> 02:52.150]  And I kept getting emails about it.
[02:52.350 --> 02:55.590]  I got emailed literally a week ago about a talk that's two years old.
[02:55.710 --> 02:56.830]  It's completely awesome.
[03:03.320 --> 03:06.300]  So, when bad things happen, it means there's an opportunity.
[03:06.560 --> 03:06.940]  Right?
[03:07.080 --> 03:09.940]  Any kind of change is an opportunity for goodness.
[03:10.960 --> 03:12.220]  Gets a few nodding heads.
[03:12.640 --> 03:14.300]  Nobody is awake at this point anymore.
[03:14.960 --> 03:17.400]  I have to tell you, from the front of this room, con-funk.
[03:17.700 --> 03:18.460]  Oh, my God.
[03:20.860 --> 03:21.740]  Wash, please.
[03:23.820 --> 03:27.340]  The economic downturn would bring new ways to solve problems, right?
[03:29.380 --> 03:29.860]  Heck.
[03:31.340 --> 03:32.800]  It comes down to one word.
[03:33.960 --> 03:34.460]  Stimulus.
[03:35.700 --> 03:40.600]  It's kind of a really weird word to hear out of politicians because it sounds a little too politician-y, doesn't it?
[03:41.960 --> 03:42.460]  Stimulus.
[03:43.600 --> 03:44.100]  Yeah.
[03:45.740 --> 03:50.160]  There are all kinds of ways to solve problems when a lot of the rules go away, right?
[03:50.320 --> 03:56.860]  You can say things that are demonstrably untrue, and it's okay because it's a different world.
[03:56.860 --> 04:01.840]  You know, in this post-econ-apocalypse world, we can do things differently.
[04:02.100 --> 04:15.760]  We can find new ways to take value in our existing assets and convert that value through to shareholder benefit because information security is a profit center for most organizations.
[04:17.760 --> 04:22.660]  At the very least, we can refactor what we have, right?
[04:22.780 --> 04:31.180]  Because we've made a lot of investments over the years in blinky lights and shiny things, and because those blinky lights are not incandescent lights, they're LEDs, they will blink forever.
[04:32.120 --> 04:36.960]  So we'll just keep redeploying the same stuff, and, you know, maybe we'll find a new way to do that.
[04:38.520 --> 04:46.500]  If nothing else, we can at least get an immediate benefit for something that we'd suggested might take two or three years to get a benefit from.
[04:47.260 --> 04:54.140]  Largely because we can increase the air conditioning capacity of our data centers by turning off the security tools that we don't understand how to use.
[04:56.020 --> 04:57.060]  immediate benefit.
[04:57.520 --> 04:58.740]  No weight required.
[04:59.640 --> 05:02.800]  And even if we're doing it completely wrong, that's completely okay.
[05:06.680 --> 05:10.540]  So, the negative parts of the universe seem to be conspiring, right?
[05:10.860 --> 05:18.980]  Everything is working against getting any good stuff done, and because we can't get any good stuff done, we're ending up as sort of the sand in the gears.
[05:19.180 --> 05:22.160]  We're getting ground up, and everything is getting unpleasant.
[05:24.280 --> 05:27.000]  However, the world is not un-possible.
[05:27.580 --> 05:29.260]  There are ways around this.
[05:30.880 --> 05:35.800]  It starts with the fact that you have to accept that you're blocked and there are obstacles.
[05:36.360 --> 05:38.360]  And those obstacles aren't going to go away.
[05:38.720 --> 05:47.100]  And if you can accept that and do something with it and about it, you don't end up completely trapped.
[05:47.320 --> 05:50.480]  I mean, if you want to give up, please, go ahead and give up.
[05:50.480 --> 05:52.180]  The rest of us could use your jobs.
[05:54.060 --> 06:00.200]  But if you give up, you have to give yourself a fail stamp right in the middle of your forehead, because you gave up.
[06:01.460 --> 06:07.780]  And giving up is, well, it's tantamount to giving up your humanity, really, if you stop struggling.
[06:08.080 --> 06:09.160]  Because that's all it is.
[06:09.740 --> 06:13.760]  It's, you know, 40 years if you're unlucky or 80 years if you are lucky of struggle.
[06:15.040 --> 06:18.180]  But I think there's only five real kinds of struggle that we've got to work through.
[06:20.340 --> 06:21.360]  So, open question.
[06:21.520 --> 06:23.680]  Do you guys want lots of room for questions at the end?
[06:23.900 --> 06:25.700]  Do you want to interrupt me all the way through?
[06:26.060 --> 06:28.720]  Or do you just want another 50 minutes of content?
[06:29.680 --> 06:30.540]  A, B, C.
[06:30.680 --> 06:31.360]  Use your clickers.
[06:31.880 --> 06:33.680]  C, C, C, C.
[06:33.700 --> 06:34.260]  Oh, shit.
[06:36.580 --> 06:38.580]  It's like herding cats, I swear.
[06:42.080 --> 06:43.120]  With sound effects.
[06:43.720 --> 06:43.860]  Alright.
[06:45.860 --> 06:46.920]  Scenario zero.
[06:47.500 --> 06:48.800]  Alright, comedy from the back.
[06:49.360 --> 06:50.520]  You need a job.
[06:54.650 --> 06:56.370]  Call it the economic downturn.
[06:56.510 --> 06:57.730]  It's got nothing to do with confunk.
[07:01.400 --> 07:02.540]  No job sucks.
[07:02.920 --> 07:04.940]  No job actually sucks a lot.
[07:05.300 --> 07:15.000]  Because, I bet you, better than 80% of the people in this room, evaluate your own personal self-worth based on your contribution to others.
[07:15.000 --> 07:27.020]  Be it through job, or social connections, or that one free software project you work on that, for some indescribable reason, puts ID3 tags into databases.
[07:27.880 --> 07:30.540]  It's an elemental feature of all open-source projects.
[07:34.750 --> 07:37.520]  There's lots of advice that goes with, you got no job.
[07:38.740 --> 07:42.000]  Most of it's available from the government, because they're experts in employment.
[07:44.460 --> 07:46.280]  And I can give you all that same advice.
[07:47.420 --> 07:48.640]  Polish your resume.
[07:50.000 --> 07:50.560]  Wash.
[07:54.260 --> 07:56.880]  It's like waves coming off.
[07:57.540 --> 07:58.740]  It's just terrifying.
[08:00.040 --> 08:01.440]  All that advice counts.
[08:02.080 --> 08:03.780]  It's all tried, true, and tested.
[08:04.140 --> 08:11.980]  The parts about putting your resume on fancy paper, including the love note to the 21-year-old human resources representative who can't read your resume.
[08:12.480 --> 08:14.580]  All of that stuff is very important.
[08:16.400 --> 08:30.060]  And the most important part of all of it really is, you need to accept that out of the millions of people who are currently without work, and that alone should be a kind of scary thing, because the numbers that they're reporting are the people who are looking for work,
[08:30.060 --> 08:34.400]  not the people who've given up and are drinking a lot of Schlitz living in their mom's basement.
[08:35.900 --> 08:38.720]  The most important thing for you guys is, you are hackers.
[08:39.500 --> 08:41.600]  It is a system.
[08:41.840 --> 08:42.700]  It is a process.
[08:43.140 --> 08:44.100]  What do you do?
[08:45.160 --> 08:51.040]  You disassemble large systems and processes, figure out how they work, and then figure out how to route around the fact that they're stupid.
[08:53.080 --> 08:54.040]  So do it.
[08:54.460 --> 08:58.960]  Figure out how the human resources function works in different organizations.
[08:59.380 --> 09:03.160]  Most of them are built on a couple of consultant models.
[09:03.800 --> 09:06.840]  I have to be careful when I say that word, because I have been saying it wrong a lot lately.
[09:08.960 --> 09:17.360]  There are a very small number of human resource consultant organizations, and they are very, very good at moving their three-ring binders into other organizations.
[09:17.600 --> 09:20.360]  So most human resources functions work the same way.
[09:21.060 --> 09:25.240]  It's just a matter of learning that, and honestly, it's not that hard to puzzle out.
[09:25.340 --> 09:27.920]  It's a reverse engineering problem of the smallest order.
[09:28.580 --> 09:31.760]  And then figure out what you're doing wrong in relation to it.
[09:33.060 --> 09:42.280]  And the list of things that you're doing wrong are probably so simple that as soon as you puzzle them out, you'll have one of those, oh, right, kind of moments.
[09:42.660 --> 09:45.140]  And you'll fix what the problem is, and you'll get through the system.
[09:45.380 --> 09:48.060]  So what are some of those kinds of problems?
[09:49.440 --> 09:50.240]  You're underqualified.
[09:53.200 --> 09:54.000]  You're overqualified.
[09:55.300 --> 09:56.740]  You have the wrong qualifications.
[09:59.300 --> 10:00.300]  Any of this sound familiar?
[10:00.960 --> 10:01.460]  Yeah.
[10:02.040 --> 10:03.140]  Kind of sad, isn't it?
[10:04.360 --> 10:06.380]  If you have one resume, you're doing it wrong.
[10:07.780 --> 10:14.940]  If you have n jobs to apply to, and you have n-1 resumes, you're still doing it wrong.
[10:17.760 --> 10:19.680]  Sorry, but that's the way it is.
[10:20.840 --> 10:27.100]  The way that these systems are now engineered, it's a lot like finite element analysis in manufacturing.
[10:27.100 --> 10:31.780]  Everybody knows how that was developed to ensure that your thing breaks one day after the warranty runs out.
[10:32.640 --> 10:35.420]  Human resources departments are structured on exactly the same model.
[10:35.780 --> 10:37.600]  They're no longer shopping for an employee.
[10:37.840 --> 10:39.140]  They're shopping for a skill set.
[10:39.740 --> 10:45.060]  And their skill set can be as particular and insane as you can imagine.
[10:45.880 --> 11:01.060]  For example, if you want to be a security analyst working in a mid-size retail organization, helping them out with PCI compliance, and you don't have 10 plus years of PCI compliance experience, because that's what HR thinks you need.
[11:04.290 --> 11:06.350]  PCI hasn't been around for 10 years.
[11:09.430 --> 11:09.950]  Right?
[11:10.410 --> 11:10.850]  Yeah.
[11:11.410 --> 11:21.170]  So, on those bullet points to talk about your awesome experience, just don't give a specific number of years and start off the list of bullet points with 10 plus years experience in.
[11:21.170 --> 11:37.230]  You know, it's routing around these ridiculous, unsolvable, incomprehensible problems to turn yourself, with whatever set of capabilities and characteristics you have, into a match for what they're looking for, even though it angers you to do so.
[11:38.950 --> 11:39.590]  Right?
[11:39.590 --> 11:43.810]  I mean, how many people have applied for a job that it angered up their blood to apply for?
[11:46.190 --> 11:47.550]  It's painful, isn't it?
[11:48.330 --> 11:55.010]  Because you realize that you're giving up some of your elemental self in order to fit into their mold.
[11:55.510 --> 11:57.110]  And that's just wrong, isn't it?
[11:57.390 --> 11:58.330]  It's just terrible.
[12:00.530 --> 12:05.090]  What the long, short, easy, nice, sad, happy version of it is?
[12:05.550 --> 12:06.430]  It's a system.
[12:06.830 --> 12:07.510]  Figure it out.
[12:08.590 --> 12:09.970]  Every one of you can do that.
[12:10.130 --> 12:10.930]  It's not hard.
[12:11.250 --> 12:13.450]  The best way to figure it out is to ask.
[12:15.870 --> 12:17.610]  Send an email to HR at.
[12:18.030 --> 12:20.150]  And say, hey, I'm thinking of applying to a job.
[12:20.290 --> 12:22.150]  What's the best way to get this through?
[12:23.330 --> 12:25.870]  Use that network of colleagues that you know and cherish.
[12:28.430 --> 12:30.970]  Facebook, LinkedIn, whatever these kids are doing today.
[12:32.690 --> 12:40.950]  Get to the point where you're into the system, even if into the system means you have to suck it up.
[12:42.150 --> 12:43.330]  You're gonna hear that a lot.
[12:44.210 --> 12:46.190]  So, you got a job, but you're going nowhere.
[12:49.530 --> 12:51.030]  This is a little familiar.
[12:52.530 --> 12:54.050]  Meteoric rise would be nice.
[12:54.050 --> 12:56.330]  And a lot of us enjoyed Meteoric rise.
[12:56.650 --> 13:05.590]  You know, in 15 years, I went from guy who configures TIS toolkit to guy who runs information security for a mid-sized publicly traded financial institution.
[13:06.630 --> 13:07.070]  Whee!
[13:07.410 --> 13:08.470]  It was awesome.
[13:08.830 --> 13:11.370]  Along the way, I had a lot of grant numbers from an AI.
[13:11.670 --> 13:13.390]  How many people are old enough to remember grant numbers?
[13:14.370 --> 13:16.270]  Oh my God, you guys are all so young.
[13:16.430 --> 13:16.950]  It's so cute.
[13:18.030 --> 13:20.170]  Or I'm just a grumpy, grumpy old man.
[13:21.590 --> 13:24.130]  The Meteoric rise stuff is awesome when it does happen.
[13:24.410 --> 13:26.690]  But you have to accept the fact that it's not gonna happen all the time.
[13:26.850 --> 13:29.050]  That you're gonna have to spend time in grade.
[13:29.790 --> 13:31.230]  There's a lot that can be learned from...
[13:33.130 --> 13:34.750]  Yet again, sucking it up.
[13:35.010 --> 13:36.190]  Paying your dues for a little bit longer.
[13:36.430 --> 13:40.570]  I mean, it would be nice to pay your dues for, you know, a year.
[13:40.570 --> 13:41.970]  And then get that promotion.
[13:42.670 --> 13:44.410]  So you're going, you know, staff.
[13:44.710 --> 13:45.430]  Team lead.
[13:45.730 --> 13:46.170]  Manager.
[13:46.450 --> 13:46.790]  Director.
[13:47.770 --> 13:48.690]  Mr. Sundergod.
[13:49.110 --> 13:50.370]  In, you know, one year increments.
[13:50.470 --> 13:51.170]  That would be terrific.
[13:52.270 --> 13:54.850]  Maybe it means you gotta spend two or three years as team lead.
[13:55.450 --> 13:57.890]  Maybe it means you're just not gonna get there.
[13:58.370 --> 14:00.990]  And you can just enjoy the fact that you have a job.
[14:01.110 --> 14:02.910]  Because there's lots of your colleagues who don't.
[14:03.390 --> 14:05.050]  There's lots of people who don't.
[14:05.210 --> 14:08.130]  There's people for whom cat food is looking like a legitimate food source.
[14:09.050 --> 14:11.150]  This is the whole suck it up.
[14:11.410 --> 14:11.790]  Again.
[14:13.490 --> 14:14.430]  Because you're stuck.
[14:15.230 --> 14:16.930]  And because you know how to do your job.
[14:17.070 --> 14:19.010]  Because you've been doing your job for a year or two years or whatever.
[14:19.190 --> 14:20.050]  And you're good at it.
[14:20.630 --> 14:23.290]  Good enough that at least your performance reviews aren't covered in red ink.
[14:24.050 --> 14:27.090]  You can start spending time making yourself more rounded.
[14:28.570 --> 14:32.270]  This does not mean expanding to fill the gap between the armrests of your chair.
[14:32.770 --> 14:34.090]  This is something else entirely.
[14:35.470 --> 14:36.290]  Go to school.
[14:37.170 --> 14:37.970]  Take courses.
[14:38.730 --> 14:39.130]  Learn.
[14:39.410 --> 14:40.090]  Go to cons.
[14:40.550 --> 14:41.550]  Prove that you can learn.
[14:42.570 --> 14:45.450]  Learn about things that are not related to things that you already like.
[14:47.330 --> 14:47.730]  Because...
[14:48.110 --> 14:50.750]  I mean, we all know that you're IT experts and you're computer experts.
[14:50.950 --> 14:53.490]  And you know, super duper security dudes and dudettes.
[14:53.910 --> 14:54.450]  And that's great.
[14:55.230 --> 14:57.150]  Do you know the difference between a debit and a credit?
[14:58.170 --> 14:58.690]  Hands up.
[14:58.930 --> 15:00.350]  People who know the difference between a debit and a credit.
[15:01.230 --> 15:01.630]  Okay.
[15:02.850 --> 15:04.550]  Which one is an asset?
[15:09.130 --> 15:09.450]  Hmm.
[15:09.770 --> 15:13.490]  So you can tell if you're reading your bank statement or if you know the difference between bank statements and accounting.
[15:14.530 --> 15:16.110]  Do you know how to read a set of financial statements?
[15:16.350 --> 15:17.270]  I mean, really read them.
[15:17.810 --> 15:18.670]  Pick up a balance sheet.
[15:19.230 --> 15:20.310]  Pick up an income statement.
[15:20.750 --> 15:21.770]  Pick up a cash flow statement.
[15:22.010 --> 15:22.890]  And figure out what it means.
[15:23.630 --> 15:25.750]  If you don't know, you need to.
[15:27.450 --> 15:29.230]  Question or admitting that you do know.
[15:29.810 --> 15:31.610]  Oh my, you're the only one, dude.
[15:33.470 --> 15:34.930]  You used to be in management.
[15:36.270 --> 15:37.730]  Don't tell people that.
[15:39.190 --> 15:41.090]  You're supposed to be like this.
[15:41.650 --> 15:42.130]  No.
[15:42.930 --> 15:43.450]  Focus.
[15:44.770 --> 15:45.810]  These kids today.
[15:46.670 --> 15:49.310]  So, learn about something that is unrelated.
[15:49.310 --> 15:56.130]  You know, one of my favorite questions when I go in as a consultant to an organization is asking somebody in the IT department what it is their company does to generate money.
[15:56.630 --> 16:00.490]  What is the crank attached to the widget maker that makes your company money?
[16:01.210 --> 16:04.730]  Do you know how many IT folk can answer that question?
[16:07.190 --> 16:08.030]  Statistically, zero.
[16:09.590 --> 16:17.290]  Over 15 years, over 150 companies, statistically, zero IT people have any idea what it is their company does to make money.
[16:18.530 --> 16:24.030]  So, because you're stuck in grade, and you're putting in time, why don't you learn what your company does?
[16:24.490 --> 16:25.070]  You know?
[16:25.170 --> 16:26.270]  How does insurance work?
[16:27.790 --> 16:30.670]  Or not work, as the case may be, depending on who you work for.
[16:32.050 --> 16:34.950]  How does your manufacturing organization work?
[16:35.810 --> 16:41.310]  Are you a middle man kind of organization, and all you do is exist to hand things from your left hand to your right hand?
[16:41.650 --> 16:42.750]  What does that all mean?
[16:43.070 --> 16:44.810]  Ask to shadow somebody in operations.
[16:46.110 --> 16:46.670]  You know?
[16:47.010 --> 16:51.730]  It's funny when you're watching on television, when the CEO of 7-Eleven is learning how the Slurpee machine works.
[16:52.150 --> 16:56.290]  But, maybe it's important for everybody to understand how it is that your organization makes money.
[16:57.090 --> 17:02.030]  Because you might find that there's net contributions that can be made, if only you understood.
[17:03.030 --> 17:07.190]  Because in your security person ivory tower, of course you know everything.
[17:08.170 --> 17:12.810]  And you're perfectly well equipped to tell operational people, this is the way it is.
[17:13.170 --> 17:16.550]  Even though you've got no idea what the way is that it is.
[17:16.550 --> 17:18.690]  But you have blinking lights and shiny things on your side.
[17:18.870 --> 17:24.010]  And you can sort of see that there's this opportunity for comprehension.
[17:25.690 --> 17:32.450]  And being able to be the only person at the table who can make the good smart suggestion, has a tendency to get you noticed.
[17:34.570 --> 17:37.030]  And, I mean, you can always take basket weaving courses too.
[17:37.170 --> 17:37.550]  Those are fun.
[17:43.260 --> 17:45.880]  I have to be really careful as I get through this chunk.
[17:47.140 --> 17:48.780]  Anybody have maladjusted co-workers?
[17:52.620 --> 17:54.440]  Anybody who isn't putting up their hand?
[17:54.620 --> 17:56.220]  Is either unemployed or lying.
[17:58.040 --> 17:59.920]  Or they are the maladjusted worker.
[18:05.150 --> 18:07.250]  Somebody's really got burning ears from that one.
[18:09.050 --> 18:10.510]  How many people work with this guy?
[18:13.330 --> 18:13.810]  Yeah.
[18:14.670 --> 18:16.170]  Like this actual human being?
[18:16.310 --> 18:18.130]  Or just somebody who acts like this guy?
[18:18.290 --> 18:19.370]  You actually work with this guy?
[18:19.510 --> 18:19.650]  No.
[18:19.830 --> 18:20.270]  Oh, okay.
[18:22.710 --> 18:23.510]  Yeah, yeah.
[18:24.310 --> 18:25.790]  He's a bit of a jerk, isn't he?
[18:27.170 --> 18:27.470]  Yeah.
[18:30.930 --> 18:32.330]  There's not much you can do.
[18:32.490 --> 18:34.130]  This is another case of suck it up.
[18:34.390 --> 18:36.390]  Which is the recurring theme of this talk.
[18:37.290 --> 18:38.690]  Watch office space a lot.
[18:40.190 --> 18:42.210]  There's not much else you can do, really.
[18:42.850 --> 18:44.830]  Remember that you have a life outside of work.
[18:44.830 --> 18:45.510]  Right?
[18:45.690 --> 18:49.490]  So, if your co-workers are causing you troubles.
[18:49.810 --> 18:53.150]  If they're interesting in all of those ways that are not interesting.
[18:54.470 --> 18:56.210]  You just need to route around that.
[18:56.690 --> 19:00.410]  You know, this is yet another form of life censorship.
[19:00.770 --> 19:03.150]  And you just need to suck it up.
[19:03.790 --> 19:07.530]  Find something to do that makes them less humiliating to you.
[19:07.930 --> 19:09.850]  Or find ways to humiliate them.
[19:11.230 --> 19:11.710]  Hmm?
[19:13.730 --> 19:14.210]  Yeah.
[19:15.690 --> 19:16.170]  I...
[19:16.630 --> 19:17.870]  I could probably tell stories here.
[19:18.110 --> 19:18.870]  Anybody want a story?
[19:19.970 --> 19:20.450]  Okay.
[19:22.330 --> 19:23.150]  Oh, yeah.
[19:23.250 --> 19:24.110]  Everything's off the record.
[19:26.290 --> 19:29.250]  I will file serial numbers off of this one really well.
[19:29.530 --> 19:30.710]  You won't have a problem with it.
[19:31.330 --> 19:31.810]  So...
[19:32.950 --> 19:34.790]  Anybody have a loud talker co-worker?
[19:34.790 --> 19:35.910]  Oh, yeah.
[19:37.930 --> 19:38.530]  Yeah.
[19:39.630 --> 19:42.250]  Anybody know way too much about their co-worker's life?
[19:44.430 --> 19:58.350]  Anybody sitting on deadlines that are insurmountable and yet their co-worker has detailed, and I mean hour-long conversations about golf scores and kids' hockey games in the middle of the day?
[19:59.450 --> 20:02.530]  Anybody wish that co-worker would do some damn work?
[20:02.530 --> 20:03.450]  Yeah.
[20:03.890 --> 20:05.670]  So, these people exist a lot.
[20:05.830 --> 20:08.430]  And you can do funny and entertaining things with them.
[20:09.090 --> 20:15.450]  In this case, a little bit of scotch tape on the inside of the phone handset makes the microphone not work so well.
[20:16.510 --> 20:18.750]  Watch the loud talker get louder and louder and louder.
[20:19.190 --> 20:21.550]  Until the loud talker's boss does something about the problem.
[20:25.430 --> 20:28.410]  Also, passive-aggressive notes, they work great.
[20:28.790 --> 20:30.950]  Just leave a little note, stick it right to the monitor.
[20:31.530 --> 20:33.070]  It says, shut the... up.
[20:34.110 --> 20:37.990]  Just don't use your own handwriting, or your own paper, or your own marker.
[20:38.350 --> 20:40.370]  And remember that tape takes fingerprints.
[20:44.250 --> 20:46.790]  Also, if you work in a unionized environment, don't do that.
[20:46.790 --> 20:48.570]  You will get a grievance filed against you.
[20:51.030 --> 20:55.310]  These people really do make it hard to maintain a job.
[20:55.470 --> 20:58.210]  These people end up being the reason why lots of people leave.
[20:58.910 --> 21:00.750]  This isn't really noticed well.
[21:01.150 --> 21:05.870]  In large part because there's this thing that HR people have called an exit interview.
[21:06.270 --> 21:07.590]  Anybody had an exit interview?
[21:09.990 --> 21:13.890]  Okay, the cadre of unemployed in this room is starting to shock me a lot.
[21:14.230 --> 21:15.910]  Either that or people have only ever had one job.
[21:17.990 --> 21:20.490]  Exit interviews are nine different kinds of fun.
[21:20.590 --> 21:22.890]  The company's trying to figure out why it is that you want to leave.
[21:23.590 --> 21:26.730]  There are also forced exit interviews, which are completely different.
[21:28.750 --> 21:32.350]  If there's a security guard at your exit interview, don't use these tips.
[21:34.470 --> 21:38.510]  It's a chance for you to explain why it is that you don't want to be there anymore.
[21:40.470 --> 21:43.650]  And it's worthwhile to tell at least a little bit of the truth.
[21:43.930 --> 21:47.970]  You can't tell all of the truth unless you really are okay with burning every single bridge.
[21:49.030 --> 22:00.650]  But the way that human resources legislation works out in most jurisdictions, it doesn't really matter because most HR departments will admit only that you worked there, the dates that you worked there, and that is all.
[22:00.650 --> 22:03.630]  They won't say, yes, this person is rehirable.
[22:03.950 --> 22:07.050]  They won't say, stay away from the freak.
[22:07.610 --> 22:08.670]  Because they can't.
[22:09.330 --> 22:13.730]  So in your exit interview, take the time and say, okay, folks, here's the deal.
[22:14.790 --> 22:18.450]  Bob and Edna make it so that I don't want to work here anymore.
[22:19.570 --> 22:24.090]  And if they hear that two or three times, they'll realize that Bob and Edna are the problem.
[22:24.790 --> 22:28.930]  Human resources operates slowly but efficiently, eventually.
[22:30.010 --> 22:33.930]  It's not going to help you, but it might help some of the people that you've left behind.
[22:35.130 --> 22:38.790]  You ridiculous pulling your ripcord and running from your co-workers.
[22:39.330 --> 22:41.370]  You've got no good in you at all.
[22:44.430 --> 22:46.530]  At the end of it, maybe your job's just a job.
[22:50.090 --> 22:53.050]  That's something that doesn't occur to most people because we're passionate about this stuff.
[22:53.050 --> 22:53.650]  Right?
[22:53.930 --> 22:56.990]  I mean, how many people fix their relatives' computers that keep getting infected?
[22:58.070 --> 22:58.470]  Yeah.
[22:58.910 --> 23:04.410]  How many people have convinced their relatives to change operating systems so at least they don't have to do all tech support all Thanksgiving weekend?
[23:05.210 --> 23:05.610]  Yeah.
[23:06.190 --> 23:07.790]  That doesn't work out either, does it?
[23:08.190 --> 23:10.290]  Because they go right back to Best Buy, don't they?
[23:14.030 --> 23:16.110]  So, maybe it's just a job.
[23:16.890 --> 23:22.630]  And for most of us, even contemplating how to do that is very, very difficult.
[23:22.990 --> 23:27.230]  How do you stop caring quite that much?
[23:28.090 --> 23:28.770]  Scotch.
[23:29.550 --> 23:29.910]  Scotch.
[23:33.930 --> 23:34.290]  Cheers.
[23:40.400 --> 23:42.760]  You have to say at the end of the day, I did my shtick.
[23:43.560 --> 23:44.140]  I'm done.
[23:46.680 --> 23:48.100]  And it's hard to learn.
[23:48.980 --> 23:50.980]  It starts as one of those, you know...
[23:50.980 --> 23:52.520]  I learned it from Ernie and Bert.
[23:52.620 --> 23:54.540]  You tie a little string around your finger to remember.
[23:54.860 --> 23:58.280]  And then you tie a string around your other finger to remember why you tied a string around this finger.
[23:59.200 --> 24:02.240]  Tie a string around somebody's throat to remind you why you wanted to leave.
[24:05.780 --> 24:06.820]  So, simply try.
[24:07.340 --> 24:08.780]  You know, put a post-it note on your monitor.
[24:09.380 --> 24:12.460]  Write the word password and then right below that leave, a job is just a job.
[24:13.540 --> 24:16.140]  Count how many times somebody tries to use that to log into your system.
[24:18.580 --> 24:19.960]  A job is also a game.
[24:20.240 --> 24:21.120]  Forgot to mention that.
[24:21.700 --> 24:23.000]  But leave the work behind.
[24:23.240 --> 24:25.460]  When you walk away from the office, walk away from the office.
[24:25.640 --> 24:33.720]  When you walk away from home, realize that you're setting aside that which is you in favor of, that which gives you money to be you.
[24:35.360 --> 24:37.080]  It's a lot harder than it sounds.
[24:38.760 --> 24:41.360]  In all possibility, you're just missing out on crazy.
[24:42.500 --> 24:44.140]  So, your career is awesome.
[24:44.520 --> 24:50.220]  Your co-workers are survivable and or in the room, so you won't admit that they're terrible.
[24:51.220 --> 24:53.100]  But you really can't express your crazy.
[24:54.760 --> 24:57.040]  You bunch of rebels.
[24:58.280 --> 25:00.500]  Tattooed crazy hairstyles.
[25:01.120 --> 25:04.800]  T-shirts with unexplainable crap on them.
[25:05.300 --> 25:06.260]  Math jokes.
[25:08.060 --> 25:08.500]  Yeah.
[25:09.120 --> 25:09.440]  Yeah.
[25:10.620 --> 25:13.100]  You really think your co-workers like you for that crap?
[25:16.000 --> 25:16.440]  Yeah.
[25:16.840 --> 25:20.500]  And you're facing the reality that you've got to get your...
[25:21.340 --> 25:23.580]  Well, hopefully you're not getting your freak out at work.
[25:23.720 --> 25:25.580]  But you've got to get your crazy out at work anyways.
[25:26.860 --> 25:29.200]  And that's hard to do in a lot of organizations.
[25:29.760 --> 25:36.380]  You know, a lot of organizations still operate on 1950s, 1940s management paradigms.
[25:37.080 --> 25:41.320]  You know, it doesn't matter how productive you are, so long as somebody can see that you're sitting in your cubicle hole.
[25:42.600 --> 25:44.280]  That's management by patting heads.
[25:45.780 --> 25:53.560]  And, you know, I've worked in organizations like that too, where the entirety of the organization is structured on attendance rather than productivity.
[25:53.560 --> 26:01.260]  And that's hard if you're a generally productive person because it means you're spending a lot of time hitting F5 on Slashdot hoping somebody will post something that isn't crap.
[26:07.860 --> 26:13.900]  I don't think any of you really need advice on which parts of your crazy you should contain and which parts of your crazy you should let out.
[26:14.940 --> 26:20.040]  But you can start just as an entertaining project to play with that line a little bit.
[26:21.700 --> 26:27.980]  As I look around and see a few familiar faces in the audience, some of you have been playing with that line and it's kind of funny to watch on the Twitter.
[26:30.840 --> 26:32.640]  It's not rocket science, really.
[26:34.880 --> 26:42.960]  But sometimes showing that you have a personality that is not completely unattainable for regular people.
[26:43.500 --> 26:51.100]  You know, instead of posting just the XKCD cartoon, print out a few pages of XKCD Explained and post them next to the cartoon.
[26:52.260 --> 27:08.380]  You know, find a way to work forward from that point where you are seen as an outsider, a little bit spooky, to the point where your coworkers can see you as a fully rounded human that just has different worlds than they do.
[27:08.380 --> 27:10.840]  And here's something that's completely wacky.
[27:12.000 --> 27:13.840]  It's fun to play pretend, isn't it?
[27:15.280 --> 27:18.800]  You can pretend that you like things like team sports.
[27:21.830 --> 27:24.090]  You can pretend that...
[27:25.090 --> 27:25.570]  Huh?
[27:26.470 --> 27:27.670]  Beer pong is not a sport.
[27:29.490 --> 27:31.810]  Any sport that includes the word beer is not a sport.
[27:32.650 --> 27:33.710]  Softball, cold.
[27:34.170 --> 27:34.850]  Ping pong.
[27:35.010 --> 27:35.510]  Fishing.
[27:35.810 --> 27:36.130]  Ping pong.
[27:36.610 --> 27:37.170]  Okay.
[27:37.530 --> 27:42.650]  For the benefit of the recording, we're hearing things like fishing and ping pong as sport.
[27:43.890 --> 27:45.470]  Are you part of the IOC?
[27:45.810 --> 27:46.050]  Sports.
[27:46.930 --> 27:47.490]  Okay.
[27:49.430 --> 27:49.990]  The...
[27:52.410 --> 27:53.930]  It's just sad, really.
[27:54.450 --> 27:55.930]  Well, no, it's not sad.
[27:56.050 --> 27:58.050]  If the audience was mic'd, this talk would be funnier.
[28:00.130 --> 28:00.570]  Um...
[28:00.570 --> 28:05.890]  You can participate in all of those things that cause you upset.
[28:07.690 --> 28:08.130]  But...
[28:08.130 --> 28:12.710]  Increase the likelihood that you can infect some of your coworkers with a little bit of weird, too.
[28:13.730 --> 28:14.130]  Right?
[28:14.270 --> 28:16.770]  Because, I mean, these are people to play with.
[28:17.990 --> 28:19.570]  They don't know it, but you know it.
[28:19.950 --> 28:22.410]  So just sort of toy with them and see how it goes.
[28:31.610 --> 28:35.050]  I just have to pause for a moment because this is my real issue these days.
[28:36.930 --> 28:37.730]  I love that.
[28:41.120 --> 28:43.000]  So, you remember that econ-apocalypse thing?
[28:45.620 --> 28:50.220]  I haven't actually gone and looked up the statistics on it because, in all likelihood, it would be way too hilarious.
[28:50.460 --> 28:55.500]  But, count the number of baby boomers that still had most of their retirement savings and mutual funds.
[28:58.810 --> 29:01.790]  High risk investments are for the young, not the old.
[29:03.450 --> 29:08.750]  We're in a situation where old dude just won't retire and your future looks like that.
[29:10.430 --> 29:10.750]  Um...
[29:10.750 --> 29:12.290]  This is gonna be kind of a problem.
[29:12.410 --> 29:15.730]  I mean, we've all been reading the articles and hearing the stories for quite a while now that have said...
[29:16.790 --> 29:18.770]  the boomers are gonna start retiring.
[29:19.490 --> 29:22.670]  And everybody's seen what those population distribution graphs look like, right?
[29:22.850 --> 29:28.210]  I mean, if the boomers retire, there's gonna be like a magillion jobs opened up.
[29:29.070 --> 29:31.590]  But, the boomers aren't...
[29:32.270 --> 29:32.810]  Okay.
[29:39.820 --> 29:41.480]  We really need the audience, Mike.
[29:41.600 --> 29:42.640]  I didn't even catch that.
[29:44.300 --> 29:45.580]  But, apparently, it was good.
[29:45.740 --> 29:46.500]  So, kudos.
[29:47.280 --> 29:47.900]  Want to trade?
[29:48.240 --> 29:48.680]  No?
[29:51.680 --> 29:52.580]  Where the hell was I?
[29:53.600 --> 29:54.020]  Oh, yeah.
[29:54.200 --> 29:54.520]  Boomers.
[29:54.680 --> 29:55.100]  They're not retiring.
[29:55.580 --> 29:57.160]  They're not retiring because they don't have the money to.
[29:57.560 --> 30:04.120]  So, there's lots of people who are sitting right on the cusp of 65 who are saying, I can't retire because I don't have enough money for another 30 years of life.
[30:05.520 --> 30:06.960]  I call that bad planning.
[30:08.000 --> 30:15.740]  I look to my parents' generation with the smug sincerity of someone who has a $0 save for their own retirement.
[30:17.760 --> 30:21.060]  Because people aren't passing away at 66 like they used to.
[30:21.640 --> 30:26.520]  Because people are living well into their 70s and 80s and 90s and further.
[30:26.780 --> 30:28.500]  And because they're healthy all the way.
[30:28.980 --> 30:31.300]  You know, there's this guy who rides his bike around my neighborhood.
[30:33.020 --> 30:38.400]  And the only funny thing about it is that his t-shirt says, 78 and still riding faster than you.
[30:40.120 --> 30:49.040]  You can expect that our generation, so long as we spend a little less time with caffeine and other recreational pharmaceuticals, will live into our hundreds.
[30:50.000 --> 30:54.580]  So, if you're going to quit working halfway through your life, you're going to be bored a lot.
[30:55.380 --> 30:59.460]  And we're sitting in the situation where the future is going to be interesting.
[31:00.280 --> 31:04.040]  The boomers that we're going to start retiring in the next year or so aren't going to.
[31:04.040 --> 31:15.740]  They simply don't have the means because, statistically speaking, proportionately, almost all of them had almost everything in mutual funds that went from value X to value negative X.
[31:16.100 --> 31:17.320]  Negative a lot X.
[31:17.600 --> 31:18.780]  And they can't.
[31:19.340 --> 31:21.400]  They can't maintain their style of life.
[31:21.560 --> 31:22.660]  So, they're not going to.
[31:25.120 --> 31:26.680]  I don't think they're delayed forever.
[31:26.680 --> 31:31.960]  I think that those people will get sick of work in another five years, maybe ten years.
[31:32.460 --> 31:40.400]  But in the meantime, we're in this weird kind of sick holding pattern where nobody in the middle is gaining any of the experience that they need.
[31:40.780 --> 31:41.260]  Right?
[31:41.500 --> 31:49.780]  When senior and mid-level executives start retiring, there's nobody who has junior executive experience waiting to take those shoes.
[31:51.480 --> 32:00.720]  So, there's going to be this weird kind of thunk step where we're going to go from people that have tons of experience to people who have no experience in a very short period of time.
[32:00.900 --> 32:06.680]  And the longer the boomers hold out on retirement, the tighter that timeline is going to look like.
[32:07.540 --> 32:10.500]  Because it's one of those compression artifacts, right?
[32:10.560 --> 32:15.180]  The front of the wave is getting compressed, but the wave is still going to complete on time.
[32:18.890 --> 32:20.150]  What are we going to do about it?
[32:20.150 --> 32:25.170]  You know, I think all of a sudden, there's going to be a huge call for very senior people.
[32:25.490 --> 32:30.570]  There aren't going to be any very senior people, so they're going to start putting very junior people into those slots because they have to.
[32:30.810 --> 32:31.530]  They must.
[32:32.230 --> 32:33.370]  Or give up.
[32:34.210 --> 32:45.950]  You could be ready for that by being a well-rounded person who knows the difference between a debit and a credit, can read a set of financial statements, can manage people even if they don't like them, can get along with people, has social skills.
[32:47.370 --> 32:51.410]  According to my report cards, I don't get along well with others.
[32:53.250 --> 32:57.750]  This carries through for every time a teacher ever had the opportunity to write on a report card.
[32:59.570 --> 33:02.530]  And I've spent most of my adult life trying to remedy that.
[33:04.750 --> 33:06.110]  You could spend some of that time, too.
[33:06.810 --> 33:07.510]  Learn how to make friends.
[33:07.670 --> 33:08.770]  Learn how to be nice to other people.
[33:11.130 --> 33:11.690]  It's upsetting.
[33:11.810 --> 33:13.110]  It feels kind of dirty when you do it.
[33:19.590 --> 33:22.390]  Again, for the benefit of the recording, we got an, oh, yeah.
[33:26.290 --> 33:28.510]  This is the other part of my big problem these days.
[33:29.810 --> 33:30.530]  Glass ceiling.
[33:33.450 --> 33:34.750]  Did you know there's a glass ceiling?
[33:35.610 --> 33:39.610]  Okay, if you're a guy and you knew there was a glass ceiling, put your hand down.
[33:39.730 --> 33:42.810]  If you're a girl and you know there's a glass ceiling, you are so right.
[33:43.850 --> 33:44.570]  It's unreal.
[33:45.010 --> 33:48.790]  And if you're a guy who's contributing to that glass ceiling, take yourself outside and spank yourself.
[33:50.510 --> 33:52.410]  There's a different kind of glass ceiling here.
[34:01.900 --> 34:03.060]  I don't even have words.
[34:05.760 --> 34:07.720]  There's a different kind of glass ceiling at work here, though.
[34:08.520 --> 34:12.640]  This is the, just because you know how to do your job doesn't mean you know how to do your job.
[34:14.460 --> 34:21.520]  And it's almost one of those completely predictable outcomes of some of the problems that I was talking about earlier.
[34:22.040 --> 34:31.160]  The completely predictable outcome of you needing to be a skill set rather than a person is that your skill set probably isn't going to matter in a few years.
[34:32.240 --> 34:34.840]  How many people are really, really good with gauntlet firewalls?
[34:37.200 --> 34:40.560]  How many people know about a lot of gauntlet installations out there?
[34:42.660 --> 34:43.520]  There you go.
[34:43.720 --> 34:45.080]  That's completely irrelevant skill.
[34:45.280 --> 34:46.960]  That's less than ten years old.
[34:47.980 --> 34:53.200]  So, how many people are on their second, third, or more career in their life?
[34:56.900 --> 34:58.360]  About every ten years.
[34:59.020 --> 35:00.080]  Get used to it.
[35:00.460 --> 35:08.880]  So, if you spent the equivalent of a reasonable dwelling in a non-metropolitan area on your education, prepare to spend it again in ten years.
[35:09.300 --> 35:11.100]  And then again ten years after that.
[35:11.380 --> 35:12.740]  And ten years after that.
[35:13.120 --> 35:15.980]  And so on and so on until you finally shuffle off the marble coil.
[35:16.940 --> 35:18.240]  It's just the way it is.
[35:18.440 --> 35:24.500]  A set of requirements for the job that you want in five or ten years is relatively unpredictable now.
[35:25.660 --> 35:30.920]  And ten years ago, I had no idea that I would need to pick up a skill set that I'm missing.
[35:31.920 --> 35:37.620]  Now I've got to do it, and I've got to do it at kind of a scramble because otherwise I'm sort of stuck.
[35:39.320 --> 35:40.920]  Get your ass back in school.
[35:42.580 --> 35:44.260]  In fact, don't leave school.
[35:47.240 --> 35:52.000]  It's kind of a goofy thing to say, but it doesn't take much to stay enrolled in a school.
[35:52.260 --> 35:53.760]  One course a semester is enough.
[35:54.220 --> 35:57.640]  Gets you a .edu email address, which is all kinds of fun.
[35:57.640 --> 36:01.740]  And it keeps you thinking academically.
[36:02.580 --> 36:08.120]  I didn't pursue an education in what I do for a job now.
[36:08.480 --> 36:15.560]  So, my original education, the only thing I'm actually technically qualified to do is corporate communications.
[36:16.680 --> 36:18.160]  Using slides.
[36:19.640 --> 36:21.280]  Anybody remember slides?
[36:22.020 --> 36:22.540]  Yeah.
[36:22.700 --> 36:26.200]  When I was in school, this thing called Gold Disk Astound was new.
[36:26.940 --> 36:30.240]  Gold Disk Astound is now called PowerPoint, and it looks like that.
[36:30.700 --> 36:42.900]  And I used to get paid to manually insert little chips of plastic into other little pieces of plastic and glass, and then put them in this machine that went ka-chunk every time it changed from one to the other.
[36:43.380 --> 36:45.160]  And that's all I'm really qualified to do.
[36:45.480 --> 36:48.680]  I have a minor in doing television commercials as well.
[36:49.580 --> 36:49.960]  Whee!
[36:52.280 --> 36:54.280]  So, for 15 years, I've been doing not that.
[36:56.620 --> 37:06.160]  And it turns out that 15 years experience on a resume doesn't count as much as two letters on a resume.
[37:09.480 --> 37:12.000]  And, oh my goodness, is it frustrating.
[37:12.540 --> 37:20.980]  To be sitting at almost 40 years old, applying for university, having to go back to your high school and pick up a transcript?
[37:24.070 --> 37:27.870]  22 years after you left there hopefully forever.
[37:29.530 --> 37:30.130]  Awkward!
[37:37.390 --> 37:39.110]  Yes, very awkward.
[37:40.970 --> 37:42.950]  It's a serious pain in the neck.
[37:43.850 --> 37:45.950]  The other thing is that there's this oddity...
[37:46.510 --> 37:48.130]  See, I'm telling all my own stories.
[37:48.190 --> 37:49.130]  This is stupid.
[37:49.770 --> 37:57.750]  There's this oddity in Ontario where you can get a three-year college diploma that doesn't count as anything outside of Ontario.
[37:58.990 --> 38:04.390]  So, in the States, you've got this thing called an associate's degree, which is like two years of showing up somewhere and doing general arts or something.
[38:04.750 --> 38:07.810]  It's not even as good as that, let alone actually useful.
[38:07.910 --> 38:11.030]  And there's plenty of people who are wandering around with three-year full bachelor degrees.
[38:11.030 --> 38:12.430]  And it's kind of frustrating.
[38:12.650 --> 38:15.970]  And now I get to spend the next three to four years of my life remedying that.
[38:16.510 --> 38:28.410]  I have to take two co-op terms to get my degree working as an information security analyst.
[38:30.450 --> 38:32.110]  Which I'm probably not qualified for.
[38:36.460 --> 38:36.820]  Yeah.
[38:38.220 --> 38:40.300]  It's another form of suck it up.
[38:41.020 --> 38:42.680]  So, if you're not in school, get in school.
[38:42.820 --> 38:43.760]  Even if it's just one course.
[38:44.460 --> 38:47.040]  Even if it's in something that you've got no idea what it's all about.
[38:47.640 --> 38:49.220]  Get back in now while you still can.
[38:51.800 --> 38:53.420]  So, what am I really telling you to do?
[38:54.560 --> 38:55.440]  It's one word.
[38:57.000 --> 39:00.220]  And it's something that, as an industry, we suck at.
[39:01.120 --> 39:02.980]  We suck hard at this one.
[39:04.800 --> 39:07.820]  IT itself hasn't changed demonstrably in 25 years.
[39:09.980 --> 39:11.240]  Argue with that one, if you will.
[39:12.640 --> 39:13.720]  Computers have gotten faster.
[39:14.520 --> 39:16.820]  Hard disk space has gotten more capacious.
[39:17.200 --> 39:17.580]  Smaller.
[39:18.060 --> 39:20.340]  Uses less power, but that just means we have more of it.
[39:21.180 --> 39:23.820]  You know, if you don't have 10 terabytes at home, you're not doing it right.
[39:26.440 --> 39:28.820]  But IT itself hasn't changed one iota.
[39:31.020 --> 39:33.200]  It's still exactly the same problems.
[39:33.500 --> 39:36.760]  And we're still solving them in exactly the same completely ineffective ways.
[39:39.560 --> 39:43.100]  What has information security done that's innovative in the last decade?
[39:43.640 --> 39:45.680]  Software is free and open-source.
[39:47.800 --> 39:55.000]  I downloaded Slackware on a DEC LAT network in like 1992 to five and a quarter inch floppies.
[39:55.400 --> 39:56.460]  That's not new.
[39:56.460 --> 39:57.700]  You don't have a beard.
[39:58.140 --> 39:59.320]  I don't have a beard.
[39:59.760 --> 40:01.320]  In 1992 I did.
[40:02.620 --> 40:05.560]  Which qualified me for the free and open-source movement at that point.
[40:07.160 --> 40:09.520]  That and of course ID3 tags in a database.
[40:12.140 --> 40:16.180]  But there hasn't been material fundamental change in information security.
[40:16.360 --> 40:20.340]  Now we just recategorize something that we used to do as a new product.
[40:21.100 --> 40:25.900]  How many people had outbound firewall rule sets in 2001?
[40:27.480 --> 40:30.460]  How many people installed DLP because it's new and awesome?
[40:32.040 --> 40:33.980]  How is it different from outbound rule sets?
[40:38.020 --> 40:41.680]  That's only true in this room because you guys are all so much more awesome than I am.
[40:43.520 --> 40:44.760]  We are doing the same crap.
[40:45.020 --> 40:48.760]  We are still using passwords that nobody can remember and they write them down on pieces of paper.
[40:49.580 --> 40:56.300]  We are still having an absolute cow when we see somebody who has an iPod connected to their laptop because they are stealing corporate data.
[40:56.300 --> 40:58.040]  Or charging.
[41:02.620 --> 41:06.060]  We still have the same flip outs for the same wrong reasons.
[41:06.320 --> 41:07.940]  We still think everything is an incident.
[41:10.200 --> 41:12.060]  We still have panic attacks.
[41:13.020 --> 41:14.340]  For no good reason.
[41:14.820 --> 41:16.840]  We still don't document our firewall rules.
[41:17.640 --> 41:19.640]  Nobody knows why rule 14 is in there.
[41:20.920 --> 41:23.080]  But if you take it out, we are screwed.
[41:27.280 --> 41:31.300]  As an industry we need to change and the only way to do that is for us to change.
[41:32.560 --> 41:34.260]  So this is my challenge to you.
[41:41.720 --> 41:42.740]  Suck it up.
[41:45.160 --> 41:50.800]  Right now, any time you walk into a meeting with other people, check your ego at the door.
[41:53.580 --> 41:54.820]  Because you are not an expert.
[41:55.380 --> 41:57.560]  You don't really know what you are talking about.
[41:57.980 --> 42:00.140]  You know a little bit about some stuff.
[42:01.560 --> 42:05.780]  And in one area, you might be the world's expert on it.
[42:06.460 --> 42:06.980]  Maybe.
[42:07.920 --> 42:09.000]  But probably not.
[42:11.720 --> 42:14.380]  For every conference I've been to, there's a hundred speakers.
[42:14.680 --> 42:16.060]  There's 5,000 people in the audience.
[42:17.460 --> 42:21.360]  More than half of the hundred speakers can be outclassed by one of the audience members.
[42:22.500 --> 42:24.340]  You've all proven that you've outclassed me today.
[42:24.960 --> 42:26.760]  Because your snark is way better than mine.
[42:30.180 --> 42:31.320]  You're not a rock star.
[42:32.280 --> 42:32.980]  None of you.
[42:33.240 --> 42:36.140]  Even those of you who are actually rock stars.
[42:42.330 --> 42:52.570]  You're not more important or better than any other member of the IT department, any other member of the compliance department, anyone who works in IT, anyone who works in the company.
[42:52.950 --> 42:53.730]  You're just not.
[42:54.970 --> 42:56.010]  You're a contributor.
[42:56.830 --> 42:59.910]  Often, you're more than just a little bit of a contribution.
[43:00.150 --> 43:01.850]  Often, you're a huge contribution.
[43:02.950 --> 43:06.750]  And you should wear that very quietly on the inside.
[43:08.010 --> 43:10.490]  Not very loudly in t-shirt format.
[43:18.000 --> 43:22.160]  For the most part, we're all really, really bad at this.
[43:22.880 --> 43:24.540]  I'm really, really bad at it.
[43:25.920 --> 43:31.920]  I don't know whether this is just intrinsic insecurity or whether it's something much bigger and much more than that.
[43:31.920 --> 43:35.380]  But it's important that you understand.
[43:38.980 --> 43:41.620]  Sometimes, log review is just log review.
[43:44.180 --> 43:45.220]  And you know what?
[43:45.580 --> 43:47.000]  You're not doing that.
[43:47.280 --> 43:49.260]  Even though you tell yourself you're doing it.
[43:51.060 --> 43:56.880]  You're not even doing it in a vaguely, statistically valid way.
[43:58.640 --> 44:00.640]  You probably don't even know where your logs are stored.
[44:01.040 --> 44:02.000]  Or you're storing them locally.
[44:02.400 --> 44:06.560]  Or that appliance that you installed three years ago is still blinking but you don't know why.
[44:10.990 --> 44:11.870]  Which is fine.
[44:12.090 --> 44:14.070]  Because you can be your own experts.
[44:14.290 --> 44:17.250]  And that's admirable, I guess.
[44:18.250 --> 44:20.090]  But I challenge you to not be an expert.
[44:20.470 --> 44:22.430]  I challenge you to leave the ego at the door.
[44:24.730 --> 44:28.130]  And just put your ass back in your cube and get something done.
[44:29.430 --> 44:30.870]  That's the real hard part.
[44:31.870 --> 44:34.350]  Because there's that list of things that you know you should do.
[44:35.430 --> 44:36.030]  Right?
[44:36.330 --> 44:43.430]  How many people work in an organization that prides itself or that you personally pride yourself on following best practices?
[44:45.710 --> 44:46.310]  Bullshit.
[44:48.050 --> 44:52.230]  You follow common practices on days when it seems like a good idea.
[44:55.010 --> 44:57.650]  You sure as hell know you're not doing the best job that you can.
[44:59.050 --> 45:04.950]  You know that you're spending a lot of time doing the same thing because, well...
[45:04.950 --> 45:06.970]  We always put out this report.
[45:07.530 --> 45:10.030]  It's our weekly vulnerability status report.
[45:10.610 --> 45:12.570]  And it's always got the same kind of numbers on it.
[45:12.570 --> 45:13.770]  We're still always vulnerable.
[45:15.650 --> 45:17.490]  It's not our fault though.
[45:17.850 --> 45:19.690]  Because, you know...
[45:19.690 --> 45:20.890]  Computers are hard.
[45:23.350 --> 45:24.330]  I'm tired.
[45:25.770 --> 45:27.330]  My commute's long.
[45:29.470 --> 45:30.150]  Suck it up.
[45:30.790 --> 45:31.790]  Do some work.
[45:32.370 --> 45:33.250]  Please.
[45:35.350 --> 45:38.050]  You can do the same thing and get different results.
[45:38.610 --> 45:44.110]  You can still show up and work and get an outcome that is completely different.
[45:45.350 --> 45:47.890]  But you have to actually want to change.
[45:48.590 --> 45:53.830]  You have to actually willingly set it all aside and say, maybe I am doing it wrong.
[45:55.010 --> 46:02.310]  And, you know, admitting that you can't do something well is effectively impossible for any of us ego-ridden rock stars.
[46:03.450 --> 46:04.050]  But...
[46:05.730 --> 46:07.010]  Maybe slowing down.
[46:07.490 --> 46:11.630]  And paying a little more attention to not blinky lights and not shiny things.
[46:12.630 --> 46:23.750]  And not weird, esoteric, one-in-a-million breaks that technically, possibly, maybe could cause bad things to happen in a very special kind of universe where...
[46:24.630 --> 46:29.590]  Isn't it true though that almost every vulnerability that you've seen for the last couple of years has been like a physics problem?
[46:30.250 --> 46:34.630]  This only works on infinite planes in a vacuum where gravity doesn't exist?
[46:36.010 --> 46:37.610]  None of this stuff is real.
[46:39.090 --> 46:42.090]  But those soft skills that you could spend some time on.
[46:42.210 --> 46:43.210]  Making yourself more rounded.
[46:43.870 --> 46:46.350]  Again, not trying to expand to fill the armrests.
[46:46.890 --> 46:49.410]  Although, if you do that, requisition a bigger chair.
[46:50.610 --> 46:52.570]  I found that to be very effective.
[46:54.190 --> 46:57.410]  Spend some time learning business skill stuff.
[46:57.910 --> 47:01.710]  There was this great argument that happened at a different conference where in...
[47:02.390 --> 47:04.130]  I called baloney on somebody.
[47:05.350 --> 47:08.410]  Loudly, publicly, and possibly intoxicatedly.
[47:10.170 --> 47:19.990]  Somebody had asserted that it was the job of someone else to explain why some weird esoteric infosec point was important to the business.
[47:21.470 --> 47:34.590]  And my argument is, I don't care how junior you are, if you can't explain why it's important to the organization that you work for, why this thing needs to change or why this thing is bad, you suck.
[47:35.850 --> 47:36.810]  Figure it out.
[47:37.790 --> 47:38.270]  Okay?
[47:38.530 --> 47:42.270]  The people that you work for, well, let's face facts.
[47:42.530 --> 47:48.790]  The chunky white men that you work for, they make risk-based decisions all day, every day.
[47:49.650 --> 47:50.870]  That's what they do.
[47:51.690 --> 47:53.250]  They're actually really good at it.
[47:53.730 --> 47:54.810]  Except if you work for BP.
[47:57.510 --> 48:00.130]  Okay, they're not really good at it, but they're better at it than you are.
[48:00.930 --> 48:03.350]  Because they actually know what it is that your company does for a living.
[48:04.910 --> 48:10.910]  And if you can express your problems to them in their language, they will be able to hear you.
[48:12.910 --> 48:21.710]  But if you express your problems to them in your language, they're just gonna look at you like you got eight heads and write their password down on a post-it note and stick it to their monitor.
[48:22.690 --> 48:25.710]  Because you're making their life complicated for no damn good reason.
[48:26.230 --> 48:30.350]  They would love to use a password that's 14 characters long and all lowercase.
[48:30.570 --> 48:35.970]  And you're arguing that it has to be eight characters long and mixed case plus numbers plus symbols.
[48:37.550 --> 48:42.530]  Well, you seriously suck at math because they're equivalently difficult to break.
[48:43.110 --> 48:44.950]  So, let them have what they want.
[48:45.410 --> 48:50.630]  Find out what it is that would make someone in your organization's life easier.
[48:51.730 --> 48:52.810]  And then make it happen.
[48:54.190 --> 48:55.430]  You want to hear a good example of that one?
[48:55.890 --> 49:01.770]  Here's how every whole disk encryption project fails in every corporation I've ever seen whole disk encryption rolled out to.
[49:02.310 --> 49:04.590]  It comes with a 15 page operations guide.
[49:07.110 --> 49:08.170]  Level one suck.
[49:09.910 --> 49:18.510]  Because you're asking the organization to spend, you know, at least an hour learning how to use this piece of software that should make it so that your organization is more intrinsically secure.
[49:19.290 --> 49:23.010]  And this is almost always because you didn't configure it right.
[49:25.330 --> 49:27.950]  So, everybody in the audience understands how whole disk encryption works.
[49:28.190 --> 49:31.930]  The machine has to be hibernating or off for it to work really well.
[49:34.710 --> 49:41.390]  Instead of explaining to people that the machine has to be hibernating or off for it to work really, really well, why don't you just do something really simple?
[49:42.290 --> 49:47.150]  Push a GPO to the entire company that says systems only sleep for three minutes.
[49:47.330 --> 49:48.370]  Then they go into hibernation.
[49:49.830 --> 49:53.530]  And tell your employees, do everything exactly the same way you did it before.
[49:54.970 --> 49:59.750]  Except when your machine comes on and you're typing in your password, that screen might look a little different.
[49:59.930 --> 50:01.470]  Here's an example of what that screen looks like.
[50:02.830 --> 50:04.290]  And you've solved the problem.
[50:04.770 --> 50:06.190]  It's now one page.
[50:06.990 --> 50:16.490]  Because you adapted to their behavior instead of asking 400 or 1,000 or 10,000 people to adapt to your idiosyncratic bullshit.
[50:18.530 --> 50:21.810]  It's an easy way to save hundreds of thousands of dollars.
[50:22.710 --> 50:25.410]  That's security ROI right there.
[50:26.490 --> 50:27.650]  It's easy to do.
[50:27.990 --> 50:29.830]  You can find shortcuts like that.
[50:30.130 --> 50:31.550]  Every organization has hundreds of them.
[50:32.630 --> 50:32.990]  Find them.
[50:33.230 --> 50:33.690]  Make it happen.
[50:34.710 --> 50:43.870]  Teach people who work in your app development group that they can do crazy things like ask you for authentication but run their own authorization.
[50:48.840 --> 50:49.760]  That's crazy.
[50:50.300 --> 50:53.180]  It saves a ton of implementation work.
[50:53.320 --> 50:55.100]  It saves a ton of help desk work.
[50:56.800 --> 50:57.480]  It's simple.
[50:57.840 --> 50:58.140]  It's little.
[50:58.740 --> 51:03.360]  It's so simple you're probably ignoring it because you want to buy something that has blinky lights and shiny things.
[51:05.700 --> 51:06.760]  But you just made money.
[51:08.380 --> 51:08.940]  Try it.
[51:09.100 --> 51:10.260]  You might find that you like it.
[51:11.920 --> 51:13.860]  And you really do owe it to yourself.
[51:14.700 --> 51:15.100]  Right?
[51:16.480 --> 51:26.060]  Because whether you stay in information security for the rest of your career or the rest of your work life or whether you go on and do something else, I think the lessons are all equally applicable.
[51:27.600 --> 51:28.880]  You know you can get the job.
[51:29.360 --> 51:30.620]  You know you can do the job.
[51:32.700 --> 51:34.800]  But are any of us doing the job well?
[51:37.580 --> 51:38.600]  Try and do the job well.
[51:39.020 --> 51:39.140]  Please.
[51:48.690 --> 51:50.430]  We've got five minutes for questions.
[51:51.190 --> 51:51.970]  Does anybody have a question?
[51:52.950 --> 51:54.410]  Anybody have better snark than I've got?
[51:55.510 --> 51:55.870]  Comment.
[51:56.270 --> 51:56.630]  Sure.
[51:56.870 --> 51:57.070]  Comment.
[52:07.250 --> 52:07.890]  Excellent point.
[52:08.130 --> 52:10.690]  Statement is, even if you can't get a job, you can always do your own thing.
[52:11.530 --> 52:12.370]  I work for me.
[52:13.870 --> 52:15.070]  You should probably work for you too.
[52:15.450 --> 52:15.990]  In the middle.
[52:21.070 --> 52:22.930]  It's trying to work in the field.
[52:23.310 --> 52:23.950]  The best kind of director.
[52:24.670 --> 52:25.730]  Again, I'm a assistant administrator.
[52:25.930 --> 52:28.450]  If you're listening, makes you responsible for information security.
[52:28.730 --> 52:30.150]  You need to get involved a lot more time.
[52:31.170 --> 52:33.010]  And I just want to close it off with a quote.
[52:33.570 --> 52:34.810]  You can stop being in.
[52:36.710 --> 52:38.070]  You can burn yourself out.
[52:38.270 --> 52:38.910]  You just can be there.
[52:40.110 --> 52:40.770]  Good point.
[52:40.870 --> 52:43.150]  I can't possibly repeat all of that because it was really good.
[52:43.150 --> 52:44.770]  I wish we had an audience mic.
[52:44.970 --> 52:46.130]  I could hand it out to people.
[52:47.210 --> 52:50.310]  The general point is, just do it.
[52:50.550 --> 52:51.370]  Do it good.
[52:51.850 --> 52:53.290]  Pass off some of that authority.
[52:54.030 --> 52:55.470]  Pass off some of that comprehension.
[52:56.610 --> 53:00.410]  It sounds conspicuously like working with your coworkers.
[53:02.430 --> 53:03.710]  Might be crazy talk.
[53:04.310 --> 53:05.030]  Oh, okay, I won't.
[53:05.750 --> 53:06.270]  Front.
[53:06.270 --> 53:10.180]  I'll go to an observation here for the environment.
[53:10.480 --> 53:19.040]  So the most useful thing that I learned and it took a long time Was any time that you find a problem, always have a solution.
[53:19.520 --> 53:21.460]  If you go up and bring up a problem.
[53:24.860 --> 53:27.080]  There should be a solution that's finite.
[53:27.540 --> 53:33.100]  Most important point is, when you come up with a problem, you should probably also have a solution with you, and the solution should be valid.
[53:33.460 --> 53:35.200]  Otherwise, you're just creating problems.
[53:35.400 --> 53:36.120]  And that's a very good point.
[53:36.240 --> 53:41.340]  If you can't argue the fix, Then you probably shouldn't be arguing for the problem in the first place.
[53:42.660 --> 53:43.260]  Anybody else?
[53:43.520 --> 53:46.860]  I understand I can barely see anything further back than about the third row.
[53:47.400 --> 53:48.400]  Okay, I got somebody standing.
[53:48.740 --> 53:50.400]  Oh, you have a joke on your shirt.
[53:50.880 --> 53:52.200]  That really sets you apart.
[53:54.080 --> 53:54.940]  I do too.
[54:14.040 --> 54:21.680]  Okay, so the question is, given that I've worked in the financial institution space, do I have any suggestions for getting into the financial institution space?
[54:22.360 --> 54:25.400]  I have one awesome suggestion for you.
[54:26.220 --> 54:26.400]  Run!
[54:28.640 --> 54:38.160]  In terms of actually doing it, at the regional bank level, and I have to admit, a reasonable amount of functional ignorance.
[54:38.440 --> 54:40.780]  I come from a country that has sane banking regulations.
[54:42.480 --> 54:43.580]  Things are different here.
[54:43.760 --> 54:46.320]  You've got, what, 100,000 banks?
[54:46.660 --> 54:47.660]  Maybe 200,000?
[54:48.480 --> 54:50.580]  Which is unusual, because in Canada we have five.
[54:53.060 --> 54:55.080]  It's not because we're small, it's because they're big.
[54:56.800 --> 54:57.980]  That's what we tell ourselves.
[54:58.420 --> 55:00.600]  It's a minor, minor ego problem.
[55:01.480 --> 55:08.280]  The best way to get involved and sort of get in, and this is... almost all of this is contrary to advice I've given you all before.
[55:08.860 --> 55:14.980]  The best way to get involved and get in is to figure out who it is that works in those places, and meet up with them, hang out with them.
[55:15.520 --> 55:19.020]  This is the whole creating a network of associates.
[55:20.100 --> 55:26.600]  In most reasonable sized cities, there's a group of information security people who get together and rant at each other.
[55:26.980 --> 55:30.880]  You can find them through whichever religion is your favorite.
[55:31.980 --> 55:36.240]  Whether you're a SANS kind of person, or an ISC squared kind of person, or an ISACA person.
[55:36.680 --> 55:37.940]  You can find them that way.
[55:38.140 --> 55:39.380]  Sometimes they operate outside of that.
[55:39.780 --> 55:45.860]  The one that operates in Toronto is called TASC, and it's completely unaffiliated with those crazy people.
[55:47.600 --> 55:59.260]  But that's a way where you can meet the kind of people who work in those organizations, and create that pathway into the jobs that are never posted, and the opportunities that are never there.
[56:00.980 --> 56:10.700]  Because more than 50% of the jobs in information security never hit the news, because you don't want to admit that you're looking for an entire security team.
[56:11.800 --> 56:12.200]  Right?
[56:12.440 --> 56:13.960]  So, you're hiring friend to friend.
[56:14.800 --> 56:15.860]  That's the best way to get in there.
[56:17.160 --> 56:17.800]  Anybody else?
[56:18.000 --> 56:18.280]  Front.
[56:18.500 --> 56:18.620]  Yeah.
[56:18.620 --> 56:28.620]  I now find that we have no C-level security position.
[56:28.800 --> 56:30.380]  We have no regular security position.
[56:30.540 --> 56:32.460]  We have no senior manager security position.
[56:32.620 --> 56:33.980]  I've got one place to go.
[56:34.180 --> 56:35.380]  It's by a very young guy.
[56:36.580 --> 56:44.720]  Would it be better for me to try to be in the C-level security position, or to just come in the last few people?
[56:45.080 --> 56:45.600]  Okay.
[56:45.740 --> 56:52.520]  So the question is going from intern to analyst, but trapped, because there are no senior level positions, that have responsibility or authority.
[56:54.000 --> 56:58.940]  In all likelihood, the organization knows that it needs somebody, but it has no idea how to implement that.
[57:00.600 --> 57:03.640]  This happens probably more often than it should.
[57:04.180 --> 57:10.120]  But an organization sees that there's a problem, but they can't comprehend a way out of that problem.
[57:10.440 --> 57:18.260]  So they're sort of stuck sitting going, well, okay, we could move left or we could move right, but we don't know how to move left or how to move right.
[57:18.260 --> 57:20.880]  We don't know how to get the right kind of person for that role.
[57:21.900 --> 57:25.300]  Our experience with security people has been essentially the no squad.
[57:26.240 --> 57:29.960]  The people who were brought up in InfoSec to just simply say no, whatever the request was.
[57:30.140 --> 57:33.320]  And they don't want somebody like that functioning at the executive level.
[57:34.780 --> 57:42.920]  So from director level and up, you need to be a business person first and technology or subject matter specialist second.
[57:44.480 --> 57:55.660]  So the organization... or one of the ways that you could teach the organization that that's what they need is to be able to come up with their language business talk about what it is that you do.
[57:55.660 --> 58:03.000]  So what financial benefit would be derived from having a senior person responsible?
[58:03.580 --> 58:07.560]  Is it simply that you can reduce costs?
[58:07.920 --> 58:11.660]  Is it that you can measurably reduce risk?
[58:12.680 --> 58:17.040]  Is your organization one that even talks about risk in a measurable functional way?
[58:17.040 --> 58:24.480]  Like if you ran the CMM on yourself as an organization, our security CMM, are you like negative two actively working against?
[58:24.520 --> 58:26.300]  Or are you more like one and change?
[58:26.960 --> 58:29.060]  It's up to individual superhero efforts.
[58:29.420 --> 58:34.860]  Or is it that the organization has made a decision to say, we're just not going to have a security specialist.
[58:35.080 --> 58:36.380]  Security is everybody's job.
[58:36.720 --> 58:41.800]  And it sounds like what you're saying is that security is nobody's job, which is bad.
[58:42.760 --> 58:46.820]  But finding a way to make that happen, it all comes down to dollars and cents.
[58:47.220 --> 58:49.540]  Or euros and whatever it is.
[58:49.640 --> 58:51.780]  Yeah, you've got to convince them money-wise it's worth their while.
[58:51.980 --> 58:54.660]  Right, you've got to convince them money-wise it's worth their while, absolutely.
[58:54.980 --> 58:56.800]  Or something.
[58:58.100 --> 58:58.140]  Or something.
[58:58.140 --> 58:58.220]  Yeah.
[58:59.540 --> 59:00.720]  It could be a euro, absolutely.
[59:01.180 --> 59:02.420]  We use dollars in Canada too.
[59:04.800 --> 59:06.960]  Well, risk measurement...
[59:08.820 --> 59:13.000]  Yeah, risk measurement always gets hard because different organizations, approach it in different ways.
[59:13.400 --> 59:20.120]  And security people, with very few exceptions, think they know how to talk about risk, but they really, really, really don't.
[59:20.880 --> 59:23.480]  So you need to approach it from a business risk kind of standpoint.
[59:23.780 --> 59:39.100]  So whether it's that you start by taking the course, and learning how the stuff works in real business context, or whether it's something else, you've got to be able to use their language to talk to them about it.
[59:39.100 --> 59:41.280]  Because your language doesn't mean anything.
[59:41.520 --> 59:42.600]  It's Charlie Brown's mom.
[59:42.920 --> 59:44.820]  I think there was a talk about that on Friday.
[59:45.180 --> 59:46.440]  There was a talk about that on Friday?
[59:47.180 --> 59:47.660]  Awesome.
[59:49.000 --> 59:52.880]  There's more talks about it in like two weeks by people that I trust more.
[59:53.300 --> 59:54.360]  Did I say that out loud?
[59:55.560 --> 59:56.540]  Knowing your business.
[59:57.320 --> 59:58.620]  Yeah, knowing your business.
[59:59.060 --> 59:59.540]  Absolutely.
[01:00:00.220 --> 01:00:00.680]  Anybody else?
[01:00:07.250 --> 01:00:14.990]  Do you have any suggestions on how to do this without getting frustrated and building up anger?
[01:00:15.610 --> 01:00:19.950]  Do I have suggestions on how to talk to business people without getting frustrated and building up anger?
[01:00:22.130 --> 01:00:22.650]  Xanax.
[01:00:23.650 --> 01:00:24.410]  Yeah, Xanax.
[01:00:24.690 --> 01:00:25.650]  Xanax works well.
[01:00:27.370 --> 01:00:27.890]  Scotch?
[01:00:27.970 --> 01:00:29.270]  Scotch works well, yes.
[01:00:29.930 --> 01:00:38.890]  The real answer, there's a suggested reading list called Personal MBA that essentially teaches you business language.
[01:00:39.210 --> 01:00:43.610]  And you have to cleanse yourself ritually before and after.
[01:00:47.130 --> 01:00:50.330]  But it's unbelievably important to learn how to talk that way.
[01:00:50.450 --> 01:00:54.250]  Even though you know it's really, really douchey, you still have to do it.
[01:00:54.250 --> 01:00:55.750]  So, suck it up.
[01:00:56.790 --> 01:00:57.110]  Yeah.
[01:01:01.430 --> 01:01:03.430]  I buy a lot of coffee and a lot of beer.
[01:01:03.570 --> 01:01:04.510]  I get a lot done that way.
[01:01:06.010 --> 01:01:06.410]  Baked goods.
[01:01:06.410 --> 01:01:06.750]  Baked goods?
[01:01:08.230 --> 01:01:10.270]  Do you really want to eat something that I baked?
[01:01:10.810 --> 01:01:11.530]  Freaking crazy.
[01:01:13.690 --> 01:01:14.050]  Mmm.
[01:01:15.450 --> 01:01:17.470]  I'm more svelte this year than I was last time.
[01:01:17.650 --> 01:01:17.710]  Yep.
[01:01:17.850 --> 01:01:18.430]  I want to see you.
[01:01:18.550 --> 01:01:19.510]  There's a...
[01:01:21.330 --> 01:01:22.130]  I don't...
[01:01:22.130 --> 01:01:23.530]  The psychoanalyst.
[01:01:23.770 --> 01:01:24.770]  There's a lot of complex stuff.
[01:01:24.910 --> 01:01:28.350]  There's that thing on the executives, which is readable to the general public.
[01:01:29.090 --> 01:01:30.070]  And you don't trust me.
[01:01:41.680 --> 01:01:42.080]  Okay.
[01:01:42.180 --> 01:01:43.780]  We had another one sort of in the middle-ish here.
[01:01:43.920 --> 01:01:44.000]  There.
[01:01:44.160 --> 01:01:44.260]  Yeah.
[01:01:47.830 --> 01:01:50.990]  You have to interface with the top of the organization.
[01:01:51.230 --> 01:01:51.470]  Yes.
[01:01:52.670 --> 01:01:53.610]  Dale Carnegie training.
[01:01:54.230 --> 01:01:56.950]  When you have to interface with the top of the organization.
[01:01:57.130 --> 01:01:57.850]  Dale Carnegie training.
[01:01:58.130 --> 01:01:58.370]  Yep.
[01:01:58.530 --> 01:01:58.730]  Yep.
[01:01:59.290 --> 01:01:59.770]  I buy that.
[01:02:01.610 --> 01:02:02.010]  Wash.
[01:02:04.130 --> 01:02:04.530]  Shave.
[01:02:04.790 --> 01:02:05.310]  Brush your teeth.
[01:02:05.510 --> 01:02:05.850]  Haircut.
[01:02:05.970 --> 01:02:06.310]  Brush your teeth.
[01:02:06.710 --> 01:02:06.850]  Brush your teeth.
[01:02:07.150 --> 01:02:07.390]  Yes.
[01:02:07.670 --> 01:02:07.890]  Absolutely.
[01:02:08.190 --> 01:02:08.630]  Have a mint.
[01:02:09.570 --> 01:02:09.850]  Yep.
[01:02:10.270 --> 01:02:11.310]  This is off topic.
[01:02:12.130 --> 01:02:12.930]  Off topic.
[01:02:13.050 --> 01:02:13.630]  We don't do that here.
[01:02:14.410 --> 01:02:15.170]  You're doing it wrong.
[01:02:16.050 --> 01:02:16.210]  Yep.
[01:02:16.470 --> 01:02:16.590]  Go.
[01:02:16.870 --> 01:02:18.610]  So, you're from Toronto in the nation.
[01:02:18.950 --> 01:02:19.290]  Yes.
[01:02:24.200 --> 01:02:27.160]  I believe I see a quote from you in the media.
[01:02:27.360 --> 01:02:29.060]  So, what do you think of any more information about it?
[01:02:29.360 --> 01:02:30.100]  Free Byron?
[01:02:30.400 --> 01:02:30.520]  Okay.
[01:02:30.520 --> 01:02:32.160]  For me,
[01:02:39.920 --> 01:02:46.380]  in my work, building out the night of duty, being in charge of sudden personnel in this beautiful world.
[01:02:47.200 --> 01:02:47.660]  Do you study today?