iXHS

Issue 28
About NationlCapitalFreenetInternetRelayChat
By Ruiner



	This is the routine that I go through on many nights, at 7:55, I get
up, go to my computer, take down the BBS for about an hour and call Freenet.
What do I do on freenet?  Use IRC, go into #phreak to speak with my friends.
But the second I type "go irc" at the Freenet prompt I know to say goodbye
to reason because it just doesn't exist anymore, once you enter IRC on 
freenet you've crossed the transdimensional barrier into some bizarre world
filled with wonderful people with whimsical names and things to say.  There's
absolutley nothing remotly interesting about IRC in most cases, a lot of
people who structure their lives around going on IRC, people who have their
house leased under their nick, and people who are riding the cyber-wave on
the computer they just won from Much Music.  These people should be confined
to the IRC Republic for all eternity, not only to the IRC republic but to a
specific server of the IRC Republic.

	Arguing on IRC, or more specifically, NCF.SIGS.IRC, is impossible,
these people do not argue with reason, they argue with random phrases and
strings of words that enter their dim minds.  Why just recently I lost an
argument because someone named "Trippy" said "Maybe a dingo ate your baby".
Well, I can only assume that what I said before that made no sence to her,
because all of a sudden everyone was rallying around her and that 
idiotic phrase.  Oh, actually I was complaining about the massive amount
of the birthday greetings and she said "and you are.....?" I replied "I
love this metality, since I am unknown nothing I say could be important"
which was followed up by her with "Ah Ah Ah. this is how fights start, 
someone interpets a simple phrase as having negative connotation and reacts
on that (note: this was the extent of her reply, but not the exact words)
I merely want to know if your existance is relevant to me, and then I can
make a judgement as to whether or not your opinion matters" now, I, 
personally felt that the fact that she needed to know who I was before she
would pay any attention to what I say was, indeed a negative thing.  As if
she isn't listening to anything that anyone outside of her little circle
of IRC friends has to say.  The funny thing was, she actually confirmed that
what I said was true, that what I say isn't important unless I'm known to
people.  She contradicted herself, but it didn't matter if she looks like a
typical NCFIRC idiot, because she has all her idiot friends around her to
cheer her on regardless of what she says.  Contradict myself?  Doesn't matter
because I have a ton of friends that will shout things that they saw on TV
on my behalf.  That's the way arguing works on here.  I didn't stop the 
conversation there though, I said "Thanks for proving my point, since my
existance must be relevant before my opinion matters"  the incredible reply
I get, that I CAN NOT argue with simply because to do that would require 
a lobotomy so I can understand what it means is "Maybe the dingo ate your
baby"  which is a quote from Seinfield.  I couldn't believe the intelligence
that went into this, give this girl an award of some sort, she is a genius.
How could I POSSIBLY argue with that?  Also at this point about 800 people
said "you go girl."  when I saw the first message saying this I began to 
question what universe this is, I failed to understand what was going on.
Was "Maybe a dingo ate your baby" some kind of inside joke?  Does it have
some hidden meaning that I would know if 85% of my life was spent on IRC? 
Why were people cheering her on?  She obviously failed at her argument (as
far as I could tell) are these people ALL morons?  Is this some tribute to
stupidity that I got sucked into?  How could I end up looking like the 
villain in this scenario?  I just voiced my opinion concerning birthday
greetings and was treated like the new person in a small town that the locals
glare at suspiciously.  I didn't stop though, despite the mass stupidity that
I was dealing with, so massive in fact that I knew that no matter what, I 
probably would end up losing because whatever I say just wouldn't make sence.
I said "hey, maybe the next time you contradict yourself you could quote an
entire epsiode of Seinfeild" to which she replied "I never contradicted
myself, you're just looking for a fight" When I saw that Trippy said that
she never contradicted herself I came to this conclusion, Trippy is only
partially literate.  Also, apparently I started the fight, well, from my
recollection I only wished that people give birthday greetings in private 
mail.  Now, it should only be expected that I become hostile after being
treated like a low-class nothing.  And to the people who all said "You
go girl" where did that phrase come from?  From a talk show?  What is this,
a subculture based on watching bad TV (which is a redundant thing to say)
and never using the phone?  Do you just constantly quote TV until it has run
out of idiotic and useless but amusing phrases?  God, you people really
irritate me to the point of wishing that you all knew the definition of
logic, until then I guess you have plenty more moronic things to say.

	On the subject of birthday greetings, there are a million of them for
every single person who ever entered IRC, they make up a massive portion of
the total posts of ncf.gis.irc, and are ALL the same, "HAPPY B-DAY ImPMoSS!
/me HUGGGZ ImPMoSS"  they get fairly irritating.  I suggest that they take 
them to private E-mail instead of posting in a public forum. (note: never
EVER suggest this, it only gets you into moronic arguments that don't make
sense, arguing with most IRC people is like arguing with Bugs Bunny) After 
all, I get my birthday cards in private mail, as I'm sure that many of you 
do, I don't receive them broadcast via sattalite on NBC, after all, who wants
to know if it's my birthday, I'll tell my friends, not the population of 
Earth.  

	Most channels on IRC are very idiotic, they are populated with a ton
of stupid teenagers who are generally there to flirt with girls and socialize
as if its lunch hour.  The intellectual level of a conversation never exceeds
the "moron" level, because people are generally just talking about anything
that makes them sound better than they really are.  People always seem to 
have to stress how cool they are in IRC, like "Well, I'm talking to people
through a computer, so in case they think I'm a nerd I'll sound really cool"
and then they will proceed to randomly quote lyrics to the Bush song that 
they're listening to.  There's also the childish adults who will act as 
immature and stupid as everyone else but will occasionally complain about
their job.  Upon entering a channel I will probably be forced into some 
stupid conversation about how great Gashuffer is, or there will just be 
everyone /me hugging everyone else, this serves absolutley no purpose other
than provide me with something that I can complain about, and kill time 
before death hauls these people away.

	#phreak is my final topic of discussion, it is often started at 
around 8pm by me or a friend of mine, but when I enter I bring a bot with me.
Now we in #phreak have some fairly high standards of what to expect from you
as far as intelligence goes, this is mainly because it seems that most people
IRC patrons live by such low intellectual standards.  Now when someone 
enters #phreak, the bot often kicks them out because that person is stupid.
Often the bot receives threats that you wouldn't believe, seriously, people
always threaten to "kick it's ass", as if THAT display of intelligence will
allow them back into the channel.  Intelligent people occasionally do stumble
into #phreak, they act like they've found a place to go.

	In closing I would like to say that not all IRC inhabitants (take 
THAT literally) are morons, just recently I was able to argue a point with
someone reasonably well, and I'm not sorry that I've met some new, 
intelligent and interesting people such as Purple and Total, what I can't
stand is dealing with the majority of these goons.


end file.