And this is WBAI New York, where it's exactly 7 o'clock.
And watch, it's 7.01 now.
But it's still time for Off The Hook.
One, two, three, four...
One...
Jeff, joining us on the phone from San Diego, is it?
Yes, San Diego, where it's exactly about a couple of minutes after 4 o'clock.
I don't know how they do that, but that's fascinating.
It's a couple of minutes after 7 o'clock here in New York.
Miracles of technology.
We're here for another exciting edition of Off the Hook, where all kinds of exciting things will be reported on.
I'd like to start off, actually, on kind of a lighter note, only because we have so many heavy notes to start off on, usually, and to finish off with.
But let's start with, how about a little game, OK?
OK.
Where I call something, and somebody guesses what it is.
How's that?
Oh, wait, I forgot to turn your microphone on. There you go, Mike.
Oh, I said it sounds like fun.
It is fun. It's meant to be fun.
OK, I got a rules question.
It better be fun, all right?
When do we guess, after we hear it, or do we hear the touch tones?
What you'll do, since this is radio, you'll hear what I'm going to play.
You'll raise your hands, and I'll call on the first person that raises their hand.
What if Jeff is the first person?
I'll call out my hands raised.
Yeah, Jeff can blurt out.
All right.
I don't know, OK?
So basically, OK, let's do this.
Let's not waste any more time.
Let's get a dial tone here.
And Jeff, you're going to hear dialing, so don't be confused.
All right.
Don't guess based on the dialing.
No.
Well, that would be a neat trick if you could do that.
OK.
Again, I wish you were here to hold the phone, Jeff, because these buttons are...
I hear the dialing, too.
I'm sorry, guys.
You're going to have to be quiet.
A, B, and C.
Nobody?
I'll make a wild, wild guess.
Go ahead, Jeff.
It's some sort of Japanese language.
OK, no.
Wait a minute.
Let me finish.
I just wanted the language.
That's all.
It's obviously AT&T.
We know that much.
All right.
That's very good.
Jim was the only one who knew that, except for me, of course.
Sorry.
Hold on.
I'll hand you a microphone.
All right.
Let me get rid of it.
All right.
Please be quiet.
Uh-oh.
OK, we almost talked to a live person in Japan or something.
Is it a Japanese long distance operator?
It's what Japanese people are supposed to do when they want to talk to AT&T.
They're supposed to call that number.
Apparently.
Wait a minute.
Japanese people where?
Here?
I don't know.
Maybe if you want to hang on, we could talk to them and ask them.
Yeah, it's an 800 number.
It's an 800 number.
All right.
Good.
Now, Jim, you're ahead by one.
One weird thing is if you ever call Japan and get, like, a wrong number,
they say the error message in Japanese and then in English.
Well, a lot of things in Japan are both in English and Japanese.
Well, no, because I think this is geared towards people here in the United States,
specifically calling that 800 number because they're Japanese.
I thought I heard the word New York.
Well, maybe you did.
I don't know.
But let's move on to something else here.
All right.
What should the other one be?
Let's go over here.
Again, Jeff, you're going to hear dialing.
Please don't be confused.
All right.
Okay.
Everybody quiet.
Yes, Leo.
That's Russian.
Russian.
That's very good.
So, you know, I wasn't sure because, you know,
some people told me that you were just spoofing the accent
and you really, you know, were just from Staten Island.
Oh, I am.
You really are Russian.
Or, I mean, you might have just known that, but.
All right.
What's she saying?
She's saying dial the number that you're trying to call
or push something and I missed that word for operator.
Probably zero or something.
Uh-huh.
Maybe she was.
Yes.
Please hold for the operator.
Oops.
Okay.
Let's get rid of her then.
Okay.
All right.
So we have Japanese and Russian.
All right.
I'm going to call one more and then we're going to get into the show
because I don't think you're going to get this one.
Okay.
All right.
And then we can have our listeners join in as well.
This will be fun.
Isn't this much better than starting off with all the doom and gloom we usually do?
I mean, that's still coming.
Don't worry about that.
All right.
Now listen carefully.
AT&T.
Actually the same thing.
Good guess, Jeff but wrong.
Pay English?
No.
Play it again?
I'm not going to play it again.
I was going to say one more.
Korean.
No.
It's not Korean.
Korean?
No, it's not Korean.
Pig den English?
All right.
Now, look, we're going to open this up to our listeners, since we're obviously...
All right.
This is where we get off.
AT&T.
Oops.
They play the English recording.
I bet they speak whatever this language is.
So if anyone out there knows what language that is, please give us a call, 212-209-2900,
and you'll win.
And you'll win even more if you can tell us where this is spoken.
All right.
See how we built that up?
We made it...
Don't look at the paper.
How we made it more challenging.
Okay.
So what's up in the news?
Jeff, you're down there in San Diego.
What's going on?
You had any adventures getting over there?
Oh, yeah.
No, it's good fun.
You were sorry I wasn't there to hold the phone, but I have to tell you, it's 80 degrees
here, the sun's shining.
I'm not sorry.
You pig.
Well, I'd be sorry if it was 80 degrees here.
I'll tell you why.
I mean, it's...
You know, I wish it would snow here again.
In fact, I hear...
I think it's going to snow again tomorrow.
Yes.
Great.
This has been the best winter ever.
But let's not talk about the weather.
Did you have any fun experiences on your way out, like, say, on the airplane, for instance?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I know what you mean.
It was very interesting in the fact that we...
I had to bring things out here to California that are stainless steel in nature.
And since they've changed the laws as of December 15th, that you can no longer carry 70 pounds
of luggage per bag.
It's down to 50 pounds.
So I had to ship some of the things out of my luggage into my partner.
So he wound up taking some of these pieces of stainless steel.
Can you...
Not carry on my...
That sounds awfully suspicious, Jeff.
What do you mean, pieces of stainless steel?
What is that?
It's a tool for the ceramic industry.
It is an artist's ceramic tool.
Okay.
And you're at some kind of convention that has to do with ceramics, right?
Right now, I'm out here at the Town and Country Convention Center in San Diego at what's called
NCICA, the National Council for the Education in Ceramic Arts.
And it's just a nice, big...
Anyone who's anyone that's involved in the ceramic industry is here.
And they must all be trading stories on what they had to go through to get there.
Everyone.
Everyone has a story.
It's amazing what they're going through because you got to imagine artists, potters, they're
the easiest person.
They have a hard enough time just traveling and following, walking in a straight line,
let alone, you can't do this, you can't do that.
But what had happened was when we got back to the room late last night, we noticed that
his bag had been sealed.
So he had to say, yeah, I need a knife or something.
I can't get this.
We didn't seal this.
What's going on?
So I broke the seal.
We opened it up.
And then as I was pulling things out, I found this notification of baggage inspection.
Inside the bag?
Inside the bag.
Inside the bag.
Sealed inside the bag.
How was the bag sealed?
They used a white plastic tie wrap.
The zip wraps, you know those pieces, the cable wraps they call them too?
Okay.
We didn't have one on to begin with, but they put one on once it got there.
And at the top of the page is the Transportation Security Administration and their logo and
the notification of baggage inspection.
And if you'd like, I can read this to you.
Yeah, go ahead.
Read it.
To protect you and your fellow passengers, the Transportation Security Administration,
TSA, is required by law, asterisk, and they mention the law on the back, to inspect all
checked baggage.
As part of this process, some bags are opened and physically inspected.
Your bag was among those selected for physical inspection.
During the inspection, your bag and its contents may have been searched for prohibited items.
At the completion of the inspection, the contents were returned to your bag, which
was resealed with a tamper evidence seal.
If the TSA screener was unable to open your bag for inspection because it was locked,
the screener may have been forced to break the locks on your bag.
TSA security regrets having to do this and has taken care to reseal your bag upon completion
of inspection.
However, TSA is not liable for damage to your locks resulting from this necessary security
precaution.
You flip it over, it says smart security saves time.
For packing tips and other suggestions that may assist you during your next trip, visit
www.tsatraveltips.us.
We appreciate your understanding and cooperation.
If you have questions, comments, or concerns, please feel free to contact the Transportation
Security Administration Consumer Response Center.
Phone toll free at 866-289-9673.
And the email is telltsa at tsa dot and then the word dot.gov.
Why would they put an extra dot in there?
Is this to confuse people?
I don't know.
But it literally is the word TSA, then the little dot, and then the letters D-O-T.
Maybe that's the Department of Transportation.
I don't know.
Oh, maybe it is.
Yeah.
So it's tsa dot dot gov.
Yeah.
No.
Dot dot dot gov.
Yeah.
Oh, you're right.
Dot dot dot gov.
Oh, that's just silly.
So now they can destroy your lock, but they don't have to replace it.
They can say that that was necessary.
No, but they will resecure your bag.
But you are kind of, from what I understand, you're instructed now not to lock your bags.
Mm-hmm.
So it just seems kind of, you know,
gee, that means anyone that's still handling the bags,
if they feel like opening the zipper, they can rifle through.
Why would people lock the bag in the first place, you know?
Maybe it's something valuable in your luggage.
There you go.
That's possible.
All right, but you made it safely.
You didn't even know that you were being searched.
No, no, didn't know.
The amazing thing is he was the one that got wanted as we were going through,
even though his bag had been checked somewhere else.
For some reason, it seems like whoever I travel with, whether it's Bernie S., my friend Tom,
they're the ones that get the whole routine.
I breeze through.
I don't get it.
Mm-hmm.
Interesting.
You just bring everyone down with you, and then you stay up.
Exactly.
Great tactic there.
Do you think they knew that this person's bags were being searched somewhere else in the airport,
and that's why they wanted him?
No, I don't think so at all because it happened at two totally different sections,
two totally different areas.
There was no way to really connect the two.
I did thoroughly look at and screen the boarding passes for any kind of irregularity between his and mine.
If there was anything that may have acted as a flag or a warning, nothing.
Interesting.
Well, the color coding has not yet started.
No.
That's going to start soon with Delta, and I understand some other airlines as well will be.
Well, obviously, other airlines are going to be involved.
I mean, think how stupid it would be if it was just announced that Delta was going to have the passenger screening system
where they check your credit report and your bank account.
I don't know what your bank account and credit report have to do with how safe you are to travel.
It seems like you'll be able to create a whole class of people that can't travel
because they didn't pay their last MasterCard bill or something.
I don't know.
There is another interesting point.
A friend of mine left for his trip.
He's out in Las Vegas at a different show, and he was telling me that because he basically is traveling with someone
who got both of their seats upgraded to first class,
first class passengers didn't have to hassle with any kind of security like the rest.
They breezed right through.
Really?
Yeah.
His comment to me is, no, it wasn't a problem.
We just went and got right on the plane.
They had to go through security first, though, didn't they?
But they were not detained, wanted.
It was just a quick breeze right through.
Well, who would fly first class and be a terrorist?
Come on.
I mean, that's just beyond the realm of possibility.
Interesting.
Well, I'm glad you made it there safely.
Of course, you still have to make it back, so I'm sure you'll have more stories to tell us next week.
Yes.
I notice we have, if anyone out there, okay, I see the phones are ringing,
but if anyone out there has a specific guess as to that language, I'd like them to call now.
Everybody else, we'll take your calls later.
In fact, don't call now because it'll just be confusing.
We just want to get that out of the way.
So if people do have a particular idea as to what that language was, please call us, 212-209-2900,
and we'll look at that.
A lot of people seem to know.
Remember, we're just talking about that right now.
We'll take more general calls later.
So I apologize if I'm rude to anybody that doesn't follow those instructions.
Let's see who's out there.
And good evening.
A double click.
I hung right up on that person.
Sorry.
Good evening.
You're on the air.
Hello, Emanuel.
Hi.
Is it Thai?
No, it is not.
Sorry, you are wrong.
All right.
Let us move on to the next person.
Good evening.
You're on the air.
Hello.
Go ahead.
Do you have a guess?
Philippine?
Nope.
What is the exact name of the language?
Oh, I don't know.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks anyway.
I got it.
All right.
What is it?
I got it, too.
Tagalog?
That's right.
Ah.
Well, you see, you know, that was too much.
That is the Philippine language, right?
Well, there's more than one, but that's the main one.
It's a Philippine language.
Yeah.
I couldn't say it's not.
I honestly had that as a guess, but it was down on my list.
Okay.
All right.
See how, you know, how challenging for me that could be.
All right.
Well, I'll give you another one to think about for a little while.
Okay.
And thanks to the person who sent this in, by the way.
Well, why don't you acknowledge them?
They specifically didn't want to be acknowledged.
Oh.
Well, I know who it is then.
AT&T.
Okay.
Is that Klingon?
No, it's not Klingon.
Leo, you have a guess.
I'm guessing again Korean or Chinese.
You can't have two guesses.
Guess one.
Okay, Korean.
No, you're wrong.
Jim, you had your hand up.
Will you just scratch it?
I was thinking, but now I'm not so sure.
Okay.
Best to be quiet.
Mike, you actually have a guess.
Go ahead.
I'm going to say some variant of Chinese.
Well, I think a lot of people would find that very insulting.
All right.
Okay.
Then I got to go with my guess that it's got to be Vietnamese.
Very good.
You were right.
You were absolutely right.
Never doubt yourself, Jim.
All right.
Yes, that's true.
When I doubt myself, I...
All right.
Let's look at a couple of listener pieces of mail.
And let's see.
This person took exception to the fact that we mentioned the typo to the...
Was it ready.gov?
Yeah.
I knew somebody was going to be upset by this.
I said that someone had to get up and go to the office and fix it.
Obviously, this person...
You do know that technically is nonsense, right?
They could be running Apache on a Linux box.
They can deal with such things remotely.
The sad part is that what they can do may not be what they are aware of being able to do,
and some poor schmuck may actually have gone to the office to deal with it.
It brightens my day for some reason.
And that's why I said it, because I like to think of people getting up in the middle of the night
and going to the office to fix something that they could fix online, you know, easily.
And I just think that that might be the way that they do things.
But, of course, yeah, they can probably fix it online, as could anybody probably,
because I'm sure they have very easy-to-guess passwords in the first place.
Let's see.
This person had some comments on transporting large amounts of cash through airports.
You might be interested in this, Jeff.
Not that you're transporting large amounts of cash, but you are going through airports.
Jim? I mean, not Jim.
Jeff, I'm sorry.
Listening to your talk on March 5th, which was last week,
and your discussion about cash through an airport,
yes, more than $10,000 is illegal.
However, not only is it illegal, but you are liable to have money confiscated.
You're liable to have that money confiscated and never get it back.
A TV magazine did a story about this on a man who had a landscaping and plant business
who had around $12,000 in his possession in cash when going through an airport within the U.S.
The feds...
He doesn't remember what department they were exactly.
They confiscated the money.
The show investigated this man and his claims.
They found his businesses legitimate, and he was traveling for his business.
The feds related they assumed that he was carrying cash for a drug purchase
that they did not have to give the money back.
What logic, what possible logic dictates that they don't have to give money back
that was legitimately obtained?
Explain that.
It was the DEA, and their logic is that the forfeiture laws allow them to keep...
Am I... Is this mic on?
Okay.
The forfeiture laws allow them to keep what they can consider to be evidence of a crime
even without arresting you.
But the point was he was proven to be not involved in the crime.
They can confiscate your property without arresting you and not give it back.
Yeah, but, I mean, the guy was proven not to have...
That's what I mean.
Actually, that case is mentioned during criticisms of forfeiture laws
which allow the government to take property without arresting you.
Not from innocent people.
From people they may not have arrested yet, people they're investigating.
Yes, but when the investigation is over...
But there's nothing that says that they have to arrest you.
Well, this is ridiculous.
This flies in the face of every conceivable law I can think of.
But so do a lot of other laws.
Well, this is insane.
You're saying if you go in there, you take $12,000 out of your bank account
and you decide to carry it to another city,
that the federal government is going to take that from you and not give it back.
Well, not necessarily, but they could.
Well, they have the right to, and they don't have to give it back to you.
Regardless, this is your life savings.
This is something that you had absolutely nothing to do with drugs or anything like that.
Constitutionally, it's illegal.
I mean, they don't follow the Constitution.
Well, I just...
Call me naive or something,
but I just find that very hard to believe that can actually be allowed to happen.
And let's see if it's true.
I mean, I don't know anybody who has more than $10,000,
but if there is anybody out there that does,
please, you know, maybe put a sign on you saying,
I'm carrying more than $10,000 in cash and see what happens.
Well, then someone else might take it from you.
Yeah, there's always that possibility,
but maybe you should carry several different packages then, just in case.
I've heard rumors that there's a device that scans the magnetic strips inside dollar bills.
So when you walk through the...
Yeah, I've heard that rumor a million times,
that they can track who has a lot of money and who doesn't.
Show me it in practice, and I'll believe it then.
Jeff, what do you think about that?
I don't know.
I don't think anyone should have their money taken from them,
but you've got to stop and think.
If you can walk around with $12,000 cash, you probably won't miss it.
That's not entirely true.
There have been cases.
In fact, I had conversations with my friend Rob over in Amsterdam
because we both published magazines back...
This was in the early 90s.
Back then, for some reason, I don't know why we did things this way,
but we would pay for it in cash as far as getting the thing printed.
Various printers back then seemed to prefer it that way.
And so you would actually be walking around with $10,000 or $20,000 in cash
for at least a few minutes.
It was pretty nerve-wracking doing that,
but there are legitimate reasons for actually walking around with that amount of cash.
Drug dealers could take checks, I'm sure.
They could just say it's for something else.
They could do that.
There's all kinds of money orders.
There's all kinds of possibilities.
Credit cards.
I don't know.
If anyone's had this experience, I'd just like to know.
You must get something back when they take that amount of money.
They must give you a receipt saying,
We took $12,000 from you.
I'd just like to see one of those receipts someplace.
I doubt they'd just rob you and don't leave you with anything.
I don't know.
It doesn't seem right.
You're right.
Yeah.
What else do we have here?
Oh, yeah, the case of the stolen sandwich.
Have you heard about this?
No.
In Des Moines, Iowa,
the Federal Transportation Safety Administration is dealing with the case of Christine Woods,
who says her sandwich was taken from a break room at the Des Moines airport.
The only ones who have access to the room are 16 federal security workers.
They have to punch a code into a keypad to get in.
Police Lieutenant David Huberty says the theft of a sandwich is still a theft,
but he says if he were to send a detective to interview 16 people about it,
it would be an inappropriate use of resources.
The woman whose sandwich is gone says she's afraid a wallet or purse could disappear next time.
Well, God forbid another sandwich.
Well, you know, they found that kid today after God knows how long they were missing,
so, you know, the sandwich could always turn up.
What kid?
The kid from Utah that was missing.
What kid?
I don't know the name of the kid.
Some kid was missing from Utah for a bunch of months, and they found her.
Smart, Elizabeth Smart.
Yeah, Elizabeth Smart.
Really? Alive?
Yeah, alive.
Hallelujah.
And she was mad, too.
She was mad that nobody found her up until now.
I'd be mad, too.
Yeah.
She was, like, hiding in the bushes outside her parents' house.
She didn't think they were taking her seriously enough.
Okay, this is not funny.
No, it's not funny.
It's never funny.
What else?
A U.S. Army soldier accompanies Afghan workers inside the Army base in Bagram, Afghanistan.
Why?
To plant the flag of cyberspace.
That's right.
Afghanistan has officially activated its .af internet domain name.
That happened on Monday.
And the effort, a joint collaboration between the U.N. Development Program
and the Afghan Ministry of Communications,
marks a giant technological leap for a country where the internet was banned for years
during the former Taliban regime.
But it is likely to be a long time before the average impoverished Afghan citizen
will be able to afford to explore the new possibilities.
Equivalent to a country code for telephone numbers,
the .af internet suffix has now been reserved exclusively for private and official email
and worldwide web users in Afghanistan.
Afghanistan is officially planting its flag in cyberspace,
gaining full legal and technical control of the .af internet domain.
The .af domain was first registered with the Internet Assigned Numbers Authority in October 1997
by a private Afghan citizen named Abdul Razik,
according to Amal Majan, an advisor to the Minister of Communications.
According to the IANA website, however, Razik later disappeared
and some services were halted to the .af domain.
It's probably in Cuba, I would guess.
Efforts to relaunch it began again after the Taliban were ousted in a U.S.-led war in late 2001.
For Afghanistan, this is like reclaiming part of our sovereignty.
Must feel good, huh?
We should get a .af domain.
Why?
I'm trying to think of what we could spell.
Well, maybe the Air Force is interested in using it,
since Afghanistan can't really use it right now.
I have an idea.
What's that?
g.af
and wait to be sued for cybersquatting.
Yeah, we won't have to wait very long for that.
Two Japanese people were arrested for allegedly hacking into bank accounts through the Internet
and stealing $136,000.
Police suspect 35-year-old Ko Hakata,
his first syllable of his name is Hak, isn't that something,
a former computer software developer who is now unemployed,
and Goro Nakahashi, 27-year-old businessman,
robbed the unidentified bank's accounts from a computer at a Tokyo cafe on September 18th.
They allegedly downloaded software from the Internet
that detects what keys previous users of the computer punched.
They then figured out the passwords that five people had used to access their bank accounts online.
Who accesses their bank accounts online from an Internet cafe?
You do?
Oh, not from a cafe, no.
Okay.
I have serious doubts about your intelligence if you did that.
Yes, it's not a good idea to access personal...
Even if you're using an encrypted connection,
even if it's using a password,
you can still have a keystroke logger.
And unless you have control of the machine you are using,
it's a very bad idea to trust that another machine is secure.
There's many ways that security can be breached,
and that's just one of them.
Anyway, they transferred a total of $141,000 from those accounts to another bank
and using an alias,
Nakahashi allegedly withdrew $136,000.
And they tried to go to an airport.
Police refused to say when the two men, who haven't been charged, were detained.
They also would not comment on what happened to the $5,000 that was not withdrawn,
saying only $136,000 had been stolen.
If charged with theft, they could face up to 10 years in prison.
According to the Asahi newspaper, which is a major national daily,
they say the two men allegedly tried to use about 100 computers
at 13 different Internet cafes around Tokyo.
This involves Citibank Japan, by the way.
That last makes very little sense.
What, that they were hopping around looking for victims?
That's the supposition that I assumed,
but without that supposition it makes very little sense.
Interesting.
Okay, Jim, I've got a question for you.
You know about the hike in transit fares, which I'm pretty upset about.
I am too.
I'm extremely upset by this.
Well, you know, I'm sort of disassociated from them, as you've noticed.
Well, yeah, you were expelled from them, I know,
but still I hold you responsible because you are the transit connection here.
Well, wait one moment, don't hold me responsible.
I'm sorry, it's just the way it is.
All right, go on.
It's like being an American abroad, you know, you're going to be blamed no matter what.
Okay, I accept that at all.
Okay, so here's the thing, all right.
The rates went up 33%.
The rates will go up, not have gone up.
All right, May 1st or whatever, they're going to go up 33%.
25% for commuter lines.
Yes.
Unbelievable.
Okay, so rides will be $2 now instead of $1.50.
You know, I can even live with that, I really can.
It's not that bad.
It's bad, but it's not that bad.
What upsets me the most is what they did to the Fun Pass, which was $4.
$4, and, you know, at the rate of $1.50, three rides, it pays off.
They raised it from $4 to $7.
Well, three rides, it still pays off.
Nope.
No, do your math.
Five rides, it pays off.
Oh.
It takes four rides.
Four rides, you're right.
And, you know, that's a pretty steep, you know, $5 would have been more fair, I think.
Maybe even $6.
I could have seen, but $7, that's just insane.
That's not nice.
But anyway, I have a question.
This is a technical question.
Okay.
All right.
I have a Fun Pass now.
Yes.
If I don't use my Fun Pass until May, when the rate has gone up, will it still be a Fun Pass?
I believe it would, although, hold on.
Okay.
It would not be that difficult for them to turn it off.
How do they just turn it off, and what does it become if they turn it off?
I buy a Fun Pass on good faith that I'm going to use it for a day pass.
It doesn't say I have to use it by a certain time or day.
Exactly.
If it's an expiration date on the back, which is about a year from now.
That's the expiration date of the card itself.
No matter what that card becomes, that card expires on that day and cannot be used in return.
If I was to go out, say, to either a news agent or to a machine and buy 100 of these things,
would I be insured the $4 rate every day?
Okay.
This is why I don't believe that they're going to turn it off, because they're going to have,
unless they start now and clear it out totally, they're going to have stuff in the pipeline.
They're going to have stuff at non-MTA agents, newsstands and such, out there.
And they can't suddenly shut those off, because there will be people who will have bought it
without trying to get over.
Right, right.
If you want to call it that.
Well, they could do it with the machines pretty easily.
They could do something as far as...
They could easily determine what Fun Passes have been sold by a given time.
I don't know if they can do it so well as to do it midnight when they're increasing the fare.
But they could theoretically turn them all off and say,
card expired, and just put in all the newspapers and on signs on the subway saying,
take this card to a booth for $4 credit.
They could do that, but it would be bad publicity.
Yeah.
Wouldn't it be a breach of contract, too?
Wait, wait.
This whole plan is bad publicity.
I don't think that's their problem.
No, it would be even worse publicity.
And the same thing holds for monthly passes and weekly passes.
It would be bad publicity.
It would be difficult to do.
It would be annoying to do.
You have the cards in the pipeline.
And like you said, it would probably be breach of contract.
Now, wouldn't it be advantageous for them if people suddenly, after hearing this show,
rushed out and bought thousands of day passes and monthly passes and weekly?
I mean, they'd be getting all this money all of a sudden.
Not really.
They get all the money all of a sudden, but they lose it from people not buying.
It's a short-term gain.
It's an investment.
It's like a loan, sort of.
Yeah, but look at it this way.
Let's assume that you have people.
Let's assume a million are sold every day.
At $4, you get $4 million today, $4 million tomorrow, $4 million the next day.
Then all of a sudden, it goes up to $7 million, $7 million, $7 million.
You do it the other way.
You get a big splurge.
Well, you get a sudden drop-off of ridership, which I think is what's going to happen,
because they raise the rates too much.
Right.
But you get a big incoming bunch of money.
And then, when it goes up, you don't get the $7 million.
You get maybe a million, $2 million, because most of those people will have bought it at the $4 rate.
So, overall, it's not advantageous to them.
Let's see what the official New York City transit position is.
All right.
Let's get a dial tone.
I don't think we're going to get anybody.
While you're dialing, use the pocket.
I can't believe I remembered that number, but that's the hotline for the MTA.
Of course, you're going to have to deal with computers for a little while.
Maybe they haven't thought of this.
Welcome to the MTA New York City Transit travel information line.
For information regarding MTA New York City transit fare increases, please press 1 now.
I'm not going to do that.
That's probably just an announcement of some sort.
Okay.
For information about planned subway service detours, press 6.
No.
That's not right, either.
What happens with 2, 3, 4, and 5?
I don't know.
Okay.
To continue your call with a touchtone phone, please press the star key now.
Well, I'm not going to do that because he hasn't given me enough choices.
And what happens if you don't enter a touchtone?
We will ask you to continue this call by responding to requests.
His voice went way down.
You must respond by clearly speaking each word after hearing a tone.
Oh, boy.
If you are asked to provide a series of numbers as part of your response,
you should clearly pronounce each number of your response after hearing a separate tone.
Can we get on with this?
Main menu.
For subway and bus status information, speak the word 1.
At the tone.
For express bus schedule information, speak the word 2.
At the tone.
I have to wait for the tone.
For subway and bus fare information, speak the word 3.
At the tone.
I get it.
I get it.
For airport information, speak the word 4.
At the tone.
Who designs these things?
Please hold, and these options will automatically repeat.
For speak the word 0 to speak with an agent.
0.
You have entered 0.
Yeah.
Please hold while we transfer your call to an agent.
It's also what I think of your system.
Unbelievable.
Who designs these systems?
They're so annoying.
Good evening, your call has been taken off.
Yeah, hi, I have a question.
I've got a bunch of day passes.
I don't live in the city.
I actually, I spend most of my time over in Iowa.
And I was wondering, after May 1st, will those be any good?
Okay, let's see.
Like, how many?
I have, like, about four, maybe five.
Let me find out this for you.
Can you hold on a minute?
Okay, I can hold.
Thank you.
Your call is important.
We'll be with you momentarily.
I like how they emphasize is, because I thought it wasn't.
All right.
Well, there they go.
Iowa.
What's wrong with Iowa?
We have lots of listeners in Iowa.
You commute, huh?
I spend a lot of time there.
It's a nice place.
Okay.
Iowa City is a great place, in fact.
Yes?
With the new fun pass rate, I mean, if you buy $10 worth of fares, you get one free.
Yes, that's true.
So, technically, it's five, you need to go buy, well, it's five fares to save money with a fun pass.
I mean, it's, you have to be a mathematician to figure out what saves money these days.
Well, you get 10% if you spend $10 starting with the fare.
All I know is $4 for a full day was a good deal.
$7 is not a good deal.
No.
You have to, like, know that you're going to be on the subways all day long.
Okay, we'll be taking phone calls, 212-209-2900.
We're going to give her a couple of minutes to get us an answer.
And if she fails in that task, then we're just going to go on without her.
I like the music.
Music is good.
Yeah, music is fine.
Thank you for waiting.
Your call is important.
We'll be with you momentarily.
Security numbers of about 59,000 former and current students, faculty and staff members at the University of Texas
were obtained by computer hackers between February 26th and last Sunday,
according to a University of Texas administrator who said this on Wednesday night.
Jeff, are you still on the line?
I'm still on the line.
Okay, I'm going to try pressing a button.
Tell me if my voice cuts out when I press this button.
Okay?
Okay.
If you stop hearing anything, are you still able to hear us?
Are you still able to hear me?
I don't hear you.
Oh, good. Okay.
Okay, what we did there, did you hear the whole signal cut out?
You heard nothing?
I heard the operator.
Okay, you hear her.
Okay, that's good.
That way we can...
Hello, sir?
Oh, yes, go ahead.
Okay, Officer Mayfird, you're not going to be able to use them.
It's going to be a $7 fan pass.
You have to either use them or send them back to MTA requesting a refund.
What's going to happen if I put it in the machine after May 1st?
They're not going to be working.
Will they be worth $4?
$4? It's going to be...
No, sir, it's unlimited pass, and it's not going to be work after May 1st.
So you have to either use them all before May 1st
or send them back requesting a refund.
Would I be able to go to the token booth and get a refund there?
No.
Okay, so I'll have to mail them all back.
Right, I can give you the address.
Okay, go ahead.
Okay, MTA New York City Transit, Metro Card Department.
Okay.
And the address is 370 J Street.
Okay.
Seventh floor.
Uh-huh.
Brooklyn, New York.
All right.
The zip is 11201.
11201.
That's correct.
Okay.
Okay.
Thanks for the info.
Thank you for calling.
All right.
Well, that...
You should have kept her on the line.
I have a question.
Well, you should have asked.
You were waving around.
I didn't know if I was on fire or something.
What was your question?
Well, you are wearing a red shirt.
The question is, I have a monthly, which expires five days after.
What are they going to do then?
This is the question that I have.
This is what, obviously, they would tell people.
They would tell people this because they don't want people hoarding the cards.
They don't tell people shit.
Whoops.
Yeah.
Thanks, Jim.
We're going to take phone calls.
212-209-2900.
Speaking of ripoffs...
Yes.
I received a bill from the Sprint PCS Telephone Company.
You may have heard of them.
Uh-huh.
For some of the texting that we've been discussing.
And the Sprint PCS policy is to charge me 39 cents per minute of the wireless web.
Yeah.
Now, that was the little experiment we had when I was over in Buffalo.
And we were sending text messages back and forth.
I got a bill about that, too, because we were sending messages both from T-Mobile to Sprint, back and forth.
And as it turns out, basically, if you use a GSM phone, you get charged for sending an SMS message.
And I think that's something like 5 cents, if not less.
However, when you use Sprint PCS, you have to log on to their wireless web.
And that's a time thing.
You actually log on to the web, and they charge you per minute while you're composing a message.
It's insane.
And they rip people off for a lot that way.
So, yeah, I don't recommend it on Sprint.
I really don't.
Okay.
Our phone number, 202-209-2900.
Let's take some phone calls.
Jeff, are you still there?
I'm still here.
And I wanted to make one comment.
Yes.
I actually found the music that you chose to start off with rather nice.
Well, thank you.
I think more people should, especially young kids, go and see a Clockwork Orange today and let them see the parallels.
Yeah, there are a lot of parallels.
Actually, you know, a bit of trivia.
That was not from a Clockwork Orange soundtrack.
That was actually from a Kraftwerk CD, which starts with that.
I'm not quite sure how they got away with it because it's obviously taken from the CD of Clockwork Orange.
But it's on their CD anyway.
But, Jeff, I was experimenting with that button because by pressing that button,
I'm able to talk without the person on the other end hearing, which is good if you're talking about operators while you're on hold.
I see.
So right now, when I press the button, I can talk about you, and you have no idea what I'm saying about you.
I hear nothing.
Yeah.
And, you see, I can insult you now.
I can make fun of you.
I can mock you.
And you'll never know.
And, Jeff, it's just so much fun having you on the show.
Yeah.
So you see how it is.
You're right.
I heard.
I did not hear that.
I'll have to wait until I get home and download it.
Uh-oh.
I forgot about that part.
Yeah, we do.
Okay, Jim, you know what to do.
Edit that part out.
All right.
212-209-2900.
Let's take some phone calls.
We'll get some more stories afterwards.
Good evening.
You're on the air.
Go ahead.
I was wanting to talk about...
Oh, I guess he chickened out.
It's not that frightening, folks.
Yeah, millions of people are listening, and millions more will listen in the future,
but it's not that frightening.
Yes, good evening.
You're on the air.
Hi.
I live near Westchester County Airport.
Uh-huh.
And my son likes to watch the planes land and take off.
Uh-oh.
And, well, I've been taking him to the airport every Saturday morning,
and I park near the terminal, and he kind of, like, on the south side of the terminal,
there's a rental car place, and you walk through the rental car place,
and there's a fence, just a fence separating from the tarmac, and he stands there.
Uh-huh.
And I'm waiting for him in my car, kind of like at the edge of the terminal,
you know, on the side road.
Okay.
And the thing is, is that I deal in used computers,
and Saturday morning before I take him to the airport, I pick up a supply of computers,
and while he's waiting for the planes, I'm going through the car, I'm going through the computers,
and nobody has questioned it or anything.
I'm standing there for about an hour and a half doing that,
and you'd think that was all the security and everything,
and, you know, the wires and what's on the inside of the computer
that someone would come over and ask what I'm doing.
Are you there, like, on a regular basis?
Yes.
Well, maybe they recognize you.
Okay.
Is that possible?
I mean, you know, they might just know who you are.
Yeah, but I was never introduced or anything.
Uh-huh.
It's just puzzling that I could do it, especially with the high alert we just had.
There were more police there these past few Saturdays when the alert color was escalated,
and, in fact, one of the roads was sealed off with roadblocks,
and they actually, like, looked into the car and looked in the trunk, and they didn't say anything.
Well, you know, you might see that change.
I don't know.
I don't know what to say.
You know, it's possible that they actually, you know, are looking at you but not questioning you,
which is what I think security should be, where they are looking at things but not bothering people.
Or, you know, maybe they'll catch up to you someday
and start, you know, interrogating you about what you're doing.
Yep.
Well, it's just strange.
I just thought I'd let you know.
Okay.
Thanks.
Thanks.
202-209-2900.
Good evening.
You're on the air.
A crazy thing happened to me at the airport.
I didn't know that.
I had my ticket and everything.
I didn't know that you're forced to show ID.
And so I had in my carry-on luggage, I had thesis papers by students that I teach
and a whole bunch of papers, stuff like that.
And so I get to the guy says to me, he goes,
I can't let you on the plane because you don't have any ID.
And I said, well, come on, I've got to get to Detroit.
And he said, what do you have to prove that you're not crazy or something?
So I said, well, I have student theses in here.
And he said, why would you be carrying student theses?
That's what I thought you said, too.
You said thesis, T-H-E.
No, it was thesis.
Right.
And, like, it was one of those moments where the look on his face,
I knew I couldn't laugh because he was dead serious.
Oh, that's great.
And he wanted to, like, find Petri dishes in there or something.
Uh-huh.
So I kind of had to, like, you know, take it very slow.
And I said, oh, no, no, these are papers written by students.
But then when I went, okay, so he let me on the plane.
Then the way back, that was all put into the computer.
And I had to, like, go through.
I had to have a whole bunch of people from the school that I had gone out to
to give the talk.
I had to say that I wasn't crazy.
This is why?
Because you didn't have I.D.?
Yeah, because I just had the ticket and I didn't have the I.D., yeah.
I think you have to show I.D. no matter what these days, don't you?
Yeah, you do now.
I'm surprised you got on at all if you didn't have any I.D.
Well, it was the student theses help, I guess.
Yeah, I guess if you go around carrying student theses, yeah,
you'll be fine if you do that.
It was nuts.
I saw it in his face when he said it.
I thought, uh-oh, I'm in trouble.
Well, there's material there for a good sketch on Saturday night or something.
It was crazy.
Yeah.
All right, well, stay safe.
Okay, thanks, bye-bye.
312-209-2900, let's take some more phone calls.
And good evening, you're on the air.
Yeah, hi.
Hi.
I wanted to know, do they ask Grandpa when he goes into the building there for I.D.?
Because everybody knows who he is.
In the building here?
Yes.
Well, I don't know, you know, it's a good thing to watch.
No, but anyway.
It's funny because, you know, we had a guy downstairs that was so anal about this
that you would have to show your I.D. every time you came in,
even if you came in every day, even if you came in three times a day,
and he's no longer around.
Some of them, they're very cool, you know.
But anyway, this thing about the gardener.
Yeah.
This happened some years ago, way before 9-11, and I think he was black.
But the thing was, I don't know if it was mentioned because I just got in,
that the people there at the airport, they get a cut from whatever it is that they confiscate.
Did you mention that or no?
No, I wasn't aware of that, that they get a cut.
Oh, yeah, that's the point.
So then when you go, even if you're a drug dealer or whoever it is that has excess money,
apart from this legitimate person because he wasn't buying plants and flowers
and you do need, you know, cash,
the other day there was a gambler.
They stopped him, and he had a lot of money, but I think he proved or something like that,
and they didn't take his money.
But the thing with the airport is, and I heard either on BAR or another station,
but I think it's always your station, he bought the ticket for cash.
So he pulled out the money, and then the eyes popped up,
and then they flagged him, literally and figuratively speaking,
and that's how they took the money.
And then he's not the only one.
This has gone to court constantly with people who have a lot of money to fight this,
you know, because these are the only persons who have been caught by him,
and everybody loses.
So, you know, what can I tell you?
What kind of place it is that you can't carry money around.
Well, you know, I like to organize something where, you know,
people just use cash and nothing else for like maybe a month,
and see just how crazy that makes everybody.
Right, and it depends.
You know, if you're from Arkansas and you pull out $1,000,
maybe that's a whole lot of money, but in New York it wouldn't be.
I don't know, you know, because do they say how much can you carry?
That's what bothers me.
But it's a great show.
Well, let's ask the Department of the Treasury, you know,
say how much money can I carry on me?
What's legal?
Right, except Bush's friends, they can carry millions of dollars offshore
and not pay taxes.
There's no problem with that.
And the money that the CIA and the Pakistani government gave to the guy
before they knocked down the towers, you know,
the CIA guy who was over here, by the way,
and he mailed that to one of the persons who knocked over the tower,
and out of embarrassment he quit.
So, I mean, that's an open situation in terms of giving monies to people
who happened two or three days later to knock over millions,
and there's no problem with that.
And there's the hardworking people who get shafted.
So I enjoy your show constantly, and I've seen you in Jersey
and stuff like that, and you're real cool,
and the other guy is there too.
Okay, thanks.
And send in your money to BAI because otherwise when they close the station
you won't be able to hear a program like this, people.
Yeah.
Well, thanks.
Thanks.
It sounds like a mob is catching up to him.
Okay.
Jim, yes.
Just to act as the institutional memory here,
we did talk about that landscaper years ago.
I think Fiber was still in jail at the time we mentioned it.
So if anybody wants to go back through the archives, feel free.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, carrying money has always been a dangerous thing.
Let's see.
Is that relevant?
Because I want to take some more calls.
It's very bad.
Okay.
It's basically in Amarillo, Texas, I believe,
the ASCAP, the American Society of Composers, Authors, and Publishers,
are suing nightclubs for playing music.
Playing what music?
Music specifically by Lenny Kravitz and Madonna.
I agree with that.
But I'm saying that I've read that they're going after a crapload of nightclubs.
So now you have to get specific licenses to play certain music.
So if you play Lenny Kravitz or Madonna in a nightclub,
someone other than the clientele are going to be upset at you?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's news.
212-209-2900.
Let's take a couple more calls.
And good evening.
You're on the air.
Oh, excellent.
How are you doing?
All right.
Let me turn the radio down here.
Okay.
Now, regarding the airport, what can I answer for you?
Let me tell you something.
The most common item confiscated when they want you
and they're trying to bring on carry-on luggage,
because I'm the person who goes up and empties the box of all the confiscated items.
Oh, really?
And the most common item that's confiscated is cuticle scissors.
Is that so?
And down in our area, in our work area,
there's a box that probably has about a couple thousand pairs of cuticle scissors.
Do you have a policy about Altoid boxes?
Because so many times they have not opened my Altoid box, you know?
Well, I think that goes along the lines of when a cop looks in the window of your car
and he sees, like, a little 35-millimeter film canister, you know?
Yeah.
That's where that fits in.
But, no, then the second most common item, I think, is probably a small pocket knife,
and the most common pocket knife is the little Swiss Army knife.
The smallest variety list price in the camera shop recently I checked in at was $17.60,
but they had models that ran $70 and $80, and I've seen those also confiscated.
So it's quite an item.
And then I would say the third most common item is the corkscrew remover,
like you see a waiter would have at a restaurant where you open your wine bottle.
Yeah.
You know, the cork remover?
That variety with the little flip, you know, multipurpose tool.
And let's see, what else might be in there?
Well, ordinary scissors, like cutting scissors, like you would use for paper.
Now, are you with TSA?
No, no, no.
TSA puts it in a box, and then I go up there and empty the box.
That's what you do?
You empty the box?
Well, that's not my only job.
Well, I wouldn't want to belittle your job, but I'm just wondering, why can't TSA do that?
Why can't they empty the box?
I guess because George Bush is looking at them, but, you know, Big Brother,
John Ashcroft is peeping over their shoulders.
You know, they're not allowed to be unionized.
And then let's see.
Okay, now, the area where they check your luggage, they use a very powerful X-ray machine,
and it actually can show the stripes on the money.
Really?
Yes.
It can show it, but can it read it?
Can it detect that a lot of stripes are there?
Yes.
I don't know exactly what the picture looks like.
If you probably got into it, they can store the pictures in memory,
so I'm certain that they have some recordings of samples that they have detected,
but they can detect bundles of bills, and those bags, of course, don't open up.
And then the interesting thing is when the luggage comes through,
let's say there's a knife in the luggage, okay?
We've got to make this fast. We're down to our last 30 seconds.
Okay, well, it shows it in profile.
No matter which way the knife is orientated in the luggage,
the computer within the X-ray machine always shows it in a profile,
so it sticks out like a sore thumb.
What's the weirdest thing someone has tried to bring through that you remember?
I heard some guy had a trailer hitch confiscated.
No, you know, the wanding area.
Gee, I don't know.
We'd have to get the guy to call in.
The strangest thing, an Egyptian who was in charge of the machine,
a student, an Egyptian student, here with a green card with a working permit,
in charge of the machine, X-raying all the baggage that was going through the conveyor system.
Yeah, that's probably the weirdest.
That was weird?
Yeah, before the TSA took over.
Why was that weird?
That wasn't weird to me, but, I mean, it would be weird to some fanatic like Ashcroft.
Oh, yeah, I guess so. I guess so.
Good point.
Hey, well, listen, thanks for the call.
Okay, bye-bye now.
Thanks for giving us that information.
That's fascinating stuff and proof that BIA listeners are all over the place.
That's it for us this week.
We'll be back again next week.
This program reminder off the wall is the other program that we stream on our website.
Tuesdays at 7 on the other radio station, WUSB, and they're having a fundraiser next week,
and we would like participation in that.
We'd like participation in phone calls because a lot of online people there listen to the show.
So, please, remember that's on Tuesdays at 7.
You can get that on www.267.com.
Jeff, see you here in the studio next week.
That's my plan. Thanks for letting me play this week.
All right, then.
That was interesting.
Well, we'll see you then.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
♪♪
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