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                             Issue #2 - Page 9 of 12 
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Dance Dance Revolution 
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by: kleptic <kleptic@grex.org>


Every Friday and Saturday night in Japan, thousands of people of every age
flock to video game arcades, and gather around a certain huge, goofy looking
machine called Dance Dance Revolution. It has been titled "karaoke for the
feet" by some, and I feel this is a pretty accurate description. The basic
premise is this: You, and a partner if you wish, stand on a metal platform
with foot-sized buttons pointing up, down, left, and right. You select a song
from a huge list of ultra-cheesy dance tracks, and the song begins to play.
As it plays, arrows flow up from the bottom of the screen, directing you what
buttons to step on at what time. The better you keep the beat of the song, the
better you will score. Simple premise? I suppose. Addictive as crack?
Definitely. (Not that I would know, of course. I have never smoked crack. I
would never smoke a drug named after a part of my body that I never get to
see.)

I first encountered the game at Cedar Point (yes, on the wave pool trip). I
spotted it, thought I'd try it, and put in my money. Not realizing there were
difficulty ratings, I picked a song at random. I think I picked a Marvelous
track, which, for you non-DDR players, means "not for DDR virgins." I was
quickly shut down in a matter of seconds, and took off to shoot some
dinosaurs with my friend Dave. We done shot them dinosaurs good, too.

I wandered by the game again after a few riveting rounds of Jurassic Park.
Some guy was playing it, and all of a sudden it made sense. I watched his
feet as he demonstrated the "step back to the middle to keep time" technique
(which I later learned is about the worst thing you can do). As soon as he
was done, I was back up there. I picked the first song, glanced around
nervously, and proceeded to get a C rating. I played again. And again.
Compulsively, I poured quarter after quarter into the machine. I was
sweating. Damn, out of quarters. I ran to the quarter changer, and returned
to find someone in my place.

This guy was good. He had style. He actually made it look like dancing. I was
in awe. A huge crowd gathered to watch. After a few games, he took a bow and
ran off. The crowd stayed, to see what young star would emerge to follow him
up. Nobody did. I really wanted to play, but didn't want to follow up the
pro. Finally, my desire to play won over my desire to not look stupid, so up
I went. I picked a medium difficulty song, and performed pretty well. Some of
the crowd stayed. Some clapped. I was hooked.

I continued to pump money into that game until I almost passed out. I felt
horrible the rest of the day, but it was worth it. I discovered a way to
combine my love for video games with my dire need of exercise. Unfortunately,
there are only fourteen of the machines in Michigan (as told by ddrfreak.com)
and they are all downstate. Never one to be beaten so easily, I decided to
take drastic measures.

Email one: Bill Gates. I'm a starving computer science student who needs a
little exercise! Help me Bill! Long shot, even longer considering his email
address changed so he didn't get it to begin with.

Email two: Nick Nolte. Pat told me Nick Nolte had the arcade game for medical
reasons. Hmmm... hey Nick, old buddy. When you get sick of your DDR machine,
will you send it to this address? I'll pay shipping. By the way, I loved you
in that one movie. Yeah. Well, there's five Nick Noltes in America, and I
didn't feel like writing them all.

Email three: RedOctane.com. I broke down and bought the home version. It's not
quite as cool, but it's still DDR and that's not crap. The soft pads suck on
carpet. I haven't tried it on a hard floor yet. If you're going to buy it, get
the nice $100 hard pad. Or two. Or the arcade machine, Richie Rich. Ed. After
playing a while, I've decided I much prefer the soft pads, especially the
modified RedOctane ones. They are much more responsive and quick, and nicer
on your feet.

Play this game.
Play this game.
Play this game.

There, now that you want to play this game, go to DDRfreak.com and read
everything, and download the movies, especially this one and this one.
They're both tournament performances to the song Boom Boom Dollar. Boom Boom
Dollar is THE best DDR song. If you feel differently, then please email me
your address so I can come box your ears. Most importantly, find the game and
play it!
Hot tip: Stretch your calf muscles after playing so you don't get chunky
cheerleader calves, baby.

