My Ident Is HI! MY NAME IS (WUT?) MY NAME IS (WHO?) MY NAME IS 667 HI! MY NAME IS (HUH?) MY NAME IS (WUT?) MY NAME IS 667 HI! MY NAME IS (WUT?) EXCUSE ME, (MY NAME IS) (WHO? MY NAME IS) 667 CAN I GET THE ATTENTION OF THE CON(HUH? MY NAME IS, WHAT MY NAME IS) FOR ONE SECOND? MY NAME IS (MY NAME IS 667) HAY KIDS, DO YOU LIKE CYBER VIOLENCE? (Yeah yeah yeah!) WANNA SEE ME STICK CISSP STUDY GUIDES IN EACH ONE OF MAH EYELIDS? (Uh-huh!) WANNA COPY ME AND DO LIKE I DID? (Yeah yeah!) TRY STUNT HACKING AND GET FUCKED UP WORSE THAN MY LIFE IS? (Huh?) MY CEH IS DEAD WEIGHT, I CANT LOAD MY LAPTOP'S OS STRAIGHT. I CANT FIGURE OUT WHICH EXPLOIT I WANNA DELIVER AND TAKE THE FBI'S BAIT. (Oh) AND THEN, MZBAT SAID: "667, MAN YOU WASTED." NUH-UH! "SO WHY'S MY KNIFE RED? BRUH, IMMA MAKE YOU DEAD." WELL, EVER SINCE I POPPED SHELL, BEEN MAKIN' LINUS TORVALDS' LIFE A LIVIN' HELL, RAGGIN' ON SYSTEMD, THEM BITCHES KEEP TRYINA' SELL. GOT PISSED OFF AND RIPPED SCO UNIX OFF, SMACKED SYSTEM V SO HARD, EVEN SUN SOLARIS DIDN' WANNA READ MY SMART CARD. I ATTACHED MY LAZY ASS TO LSASS, DROPPED CREDS TO PASTEBIN FASTER THAN APPLE MAPS FUCKED UP YO DIRECTIONS SO BAD. C'MERE GENTOO (667 WAIT, THATS MY LAPTOP DOG!) I AIN' GIVE A FUCK, SANS SENT ME TO PISS THE WORLD OFF. HI! MY NAME IS (WUT?) MY NAME IS (WHO?) MY NAME IS 667 HI! MY NAME IS (HUH?) MY NAME IS (WUT?) MY NAME IS 667 MY MANAGER WANTED TO IMPLEMENT NODE, STUPID ASS JAVASCRIPT WEBSERVER, CONTENT SERVED UP WITH SPHAGHETTI CODE HACKER SMACKED ME IN THE FACE WITH A RAM SCRAPER, NEWS OF COMPROMISE PRINTED ON PAPER, MANDIANT JUST CALLED IT ANOTHER CHINESE CAPER. CONNECTED SSLSTRIP? YUP, HAD MY PAYLOAD ZIPPED UP, FLASHED THEIR CORE SWITCH, THEN RAN THE PACKET SNIFFER, SHOUTIN' 'WHOS GETTING PWNED NOW, BITCH?' PLAYIN XCOM, ALIENS SHOOTIN CIVS FROM THE UFO, WHILE THEY SCREAMIN' AT ME "YA'LL TOO SLOW" DOWNLOAD ALMOST COMPLETE (99%), WHAT A LIE FOOL, I JUST FOUND OUT MARK ZUCKERBERG GOT MORE SIGINT THAN NSA DO (Damn) I TOLD 'EM I'D GROW UP TO BE A FAMOUS HACKER. DOIN' RESEARCH, LAZY CORPS JUST CALL ME AN ATTACKER. YOU KNOW YOU FUCKED UP WHEN FBI RUSH YO LAN, TRYINA' SLAP CUFFS ON YA HANDS, SCREAMIN' "WE SURE GOT DAT HACKER, MAN." THIS GUY AT A CON ASKED FOR MY AUTOGRAPH, SO I SIGNED IT "D AYY LMAO." HI! MY NAME IS (WUT?) MY NAME IS (WHO?) MY NAME IS 667 HI! MY NAME IS (HUH?) MY NAME IS (WUT?) MY NAME IS 667 STOP THE COMMAND AND CONTROL! THREAT ACTORS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, GOIN "UH-OH". 667 DONT JUST STAND THERE, OPERATE! MALWARE AIN'T READY FOR VIRUSTOTAL, APT CAMPAIGN BE OVER LIKE CHERNOBYL. MALWARE GONNA HAVE TO BE CARRIED INSIDE AN ICS NETWORK, BECAUSE THRIVIN' IN THERE AIN'T NO EFFORT. (HUH YUP!) ARE MY PACKETS COMIN' OR GOIN'? WIRESHARK CAN BARELY DERIVE. I JUST SET UP MONGODB, DARE ME TO PULL THE HARD DRIVE? (GO AHEAD) ALL MY LIFE I WAS VERY DEPRIVED, I AINT HAD A GUI IN YEARS, NECKBEARD TOO HAIRY TO HIDE. (WHOOPS) POCKET SPHAGHETTI SLIPPED, WHILE ALL THAT DATA EXFIL HIT I WHISTLE ICBM CODES WHEN I TALK, I'LL PICK ANYTHING WITH A LOCK (OPEN!) WHEN I WAS BORED AND I NEEDED A HIT, I'D GO FUCK WITH EXPLOIT KITS. MAN, HOW YOU GONNA FEED ME INTEL? YO THREAT FEED AINT DOIN' SO WELL. USING TWITTER FOR OSINT MUST BE HELL. MY IMPLANTS AWAKE, FIREWALL PASSED SOME BULLSHIT HACKERPROOF TEST. YOU FEEL THAT ACHE? PAYIN' UP FOR CYBER INSURANCE LIKE ALL THE REST. YOUR SECURITY IS SAD (AW..) STILL THINK IM THROWING A TANTRUM WHEN INFOSEC SO MAD? TELL THEM I HACKED THE GIBSON, IN THIS DREAM I HAD. HI! MY NAME IS (WUT?) MY NAME IS (WHO?) MY NAME IS 667 HI! MY NAME IS (HUH?) MY NAME IS (WUT?) MY NAME IS 667