New Developments

They've done it again.  Our phone company has figured out a way to make a profit out of absolutely nothing.  While we must commend them for their ever-present ingenuity, we must also point out that this is indeed the very last straw.

We all know how unjustified the charge for Touch-Tone service is.  Touch-Tones make phone company equipment operate a lot faster, yet people can be fooled into thinking they're getting "access" to some kind of premium service.  But the fact is that we all have access in the first place and the only way the phone company can change this is to invent a machine that makes your Touch-Tones useless if you haven't paid.  That's why Touch-Tones work regardless of whether or not you pay for them on older phone systems.  They're not sophisticated enough to operate that horrible machine.  Remember - you're not actually paying for the service - you're paying for not being disconnected from the service.

The newest ripoff is a feature called "gold numbers."  Do you remember the days when you could get a phone installed and ask if you could get a particular number?  If the number was available, you'd be able to get it in most cases.  Just like that.  Well, you can kiss those days goodbye.

"For less than a quarter a day," the cheery little New York Telephone pamphlet says, "you could have a number that is easy to remember because of repeating or sequential digits.  Or you might select any available 7-digit combination of numbers to suit your needs, perhaps trying for a number that translates into a word or phrase."

Isn't this brilliant? As if nobody had ever thought of selecting their own phone number before!  And, since they were smart enough to come up with the idea, they've naturally earned the right to charge us $3 a month for one of these numbers or $6 a month for business customers.  Maintenance charges, no doubt.

That's not enough?  O.K., here's some more.  If the first three numbers you ask for aren't available (which doesn't necessarily mean they're being used), guess what happens?  "A fee of $20 will apply for each 3-number search beyond the initial one."  Twenty dollars just to apply for a number!  And there's no guarantee you'll even get it!  It could go on forever!

Obviously, the phone company is going to clean up on this if people are foolish enough to fall for it.  One right after the other, we're seeing services that have always been free develop charges.  While some changes in service are necessary because of the divestiture, this is certainly not one of them.  It's time some nasty letters were written to our elected officials who have the power to do something about it.

Gold numbers indeed.  Would anyone care to speculate on what they're going to try next?

Meanwhile there's an entirely new service that has sprung into being overnight.  It's called PRS and it's being used by Mountain Bell and Pacific Bell.  PRS stands for Personal Response System and means exactly the opposite.  It seems that when you call up a directory assistance operator in those regions, the voice you hear saying, "Can I help you?" or "What city, please?" is actually a recording!  Each operator records their own "greeting" and it plays when they pick up.  This, according to the company, gives the operator some time to rest between calls.

In fact, they like to refer to it as "the Pause that Refreshes and Satisfies."  They say the customers just love it because the recording sounds so friendly and upbeat.  Give us a break!  It's just another way of turning those poor operators into machines.  There's already a recording that gives the number, now there's one that picks up the phone!  What's left?