Traveling from Myrtle Avenue in Queens was interesting. Traffic was already backed up on the L.I.E. into Manhattan, so we took the B.Q.E. to the Verazanno. The goal was the NJ Turnpike South. After paying the extortionary toll at the Verazanno, we were really on our way... across Staten Island with thousands of other folks out to enjoy the first sunny Saturday of spring.

NJ Turnpike South...we hit the Thomas Edison rest stop for nourishment. Filled with Roy's greasy goodness, we press on to exit 6 - the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Turnpike driving sure is fast, but none too interesting. We switch to the cool Jersey shore station 106.3FM and just drive...the car teeming with LifeSavers, tunes, and all-over-the-map-road-trip talk. rna napped on and off.

We pay the toll at the NJ to PA Turnpike switchover, wondering how far we have to go to hit Route 611N. The toll ticket is vague; the mile-marker signs, vague-r. Anxious now, as it's about 10 minutes into the two-hour visiting period. Finally, after about 10 miles...Route 611 in 1/2 mile. We make our exit, pay our toll, and head north.

{For you phast phood phreaks: an outlet of the store you searched for in Boston/Rhode Island and Easton is a mile or so up 611 on the right.}

The parking lot had a very weird design; you couldn't just drive from row to row. By this time it was 1:20 and the parking lot was kinda full. We parked, gathered up the reading material I'd brought, left our bags in the car, and headed for the door.

We entered the jail and confronted the authorities. One male and one female guard manned the desk. The female guard immediately started in on us, telling us to hang up our coats. rna was coming down with a cold and wanted to wear an extra sweater. The guards were not hip on this unless she promised to keep it entirely buttoned. She did. I, on the other hand, was wearing a t-shirt and a blazer and had no choice but to shed my outer layer. did OK, as she was wearing a heavy leather jacket and a long- sleeved shirt.

While waiting for the guards to check in a whole slew of folks who came in after us, we read over the dress code posted for visitors. No fish-net stockings, no shirts that did not cover the waistband (no midriff tops)...the list went on and on. I guess the point was, nothing too sexy, revealing or potentially dangerous. Someone should have told this to the big fat guy who came in after us (his fly was unzipped).

We thought it kind of odd that the guards didn't take us in turn, but couldn't figure out why. We hadn't yet officially stated who we were there to visit...although we might have mentioned his name when removing our jackets.

The male guard was in charge of checking our ID. He asked who we were visiting. When we said "Ed Cummings" he said "Oh, him" very sarcastically. We wondered if maybe Ed already had visitors...but no. We asked, "Is there something we should know?" and he said "Nothing I can tell you!" Very mysterious... He wrote down our names from our driver's licenses and told us to give all our possessions to the female guard.

We wondered: Ed said he could get books and magazines. Why couldn't we bring them in? They apparently have to be MAILED, marked 'Reading Materials'. Not only could we not bring in the books, newspapers and card we'd brought Ed...we also had to give up our ID, our wallets, anything in our pockets, rna's tissues (oth the box and the wad in her pocket), our car keys...everything. Surprisingly, jewelry was allowed. The guard handed me the key to our locked storage box. This was the only thing we could bring in with us.

After we were passed through, a male guard stamped our hands with this icky ultra-violet stamp. It was really thick and gooey and had to go on our RIGHT hands. Then, we were ready to proceed. A fifth guard corralled us in a holding area outside the first set of steel bars. We had to wait for a few more visitors to clear the metal detector before they would let us all in.

Finally, around 1:30, we were in. We proceeded to the Multi-Purpose room. Another guard told us to see OfficerX at the back of the room to be seated. The room was a gym, basketball hoops and all. It was set up with stackable plastic chairs in groups of four. This was pretty logical, as the maximum number of visitors allowed was 3 for each inmate.

We saw The Nice Officer, who told us to sit. rna asked if there was a rest room (there was, one for each sex). She went off to use it, leaving and I sitting there realizing that neither of us knew what ED looked like. had been at the sentencing, but really only saw the back of ED'S head. We wondered what would happen, sure that they wouldn't tell him 'Three girls are here to see you!' Fortunately, rna returned to our seating area just before ED came into the room.

The roar of the crowd of visitors was deafening. Inmates are allowed visitors only once a week on Saturday from 1-3PM. It was kind of sad, noticing how young most of the inmates are. A lot of young mothers and small children were visiting their incarcerated daddies.

introduced myself, followed by a big hug. rna had met Ed in Easton on the day of his sentencing, and also gave him a big hug. , who had been writing to ED since last June but never met him, was dumbfounded...but also got a hug so hard she was off the floor!

ED filled us in on the differences between the Easton prison and Bucks County. A bunch of books and magazines sent as well as a letter rna sent to Easton didn't get there prior to his move to Bucks. Apparently, there is no means for forwarding mail between prisons.

ED had purchased several personal items in Easton including a sweat suit, underwear, stamps and razors. He wasn't allowed to bring any of it with him to Bucks. Why? It seems there is a racket at prison...each prison has a commissary where inmates can buy personal items. The new prison wants you to buy stuff at their commissary, so they don't let you bring anything in from other prisons. Family and friends cannot send in clothing, food or personal hygiene items...only reading materials and letters are allowed.

ED went on to tell us that toothpaste, soap, razors, combs, washcloths...all of these are considered luxuries to be purchased from the commissary. They are not provided by the Bucks County prison. The only personal item provided is a toothbrush. We were amazed. This brings it home...if you have any cash to spare, mail ED a money order. Today. {Mailing Details}

He described the prison's common underwear system. Apparently unless you purchase your own personal underwear and a laundry bag from the commissary, the underwear the prison provides is...umm...shared. It does get washed, but not bleached. I'm sure you can imagine...hell, I can't even imagine sharing underwear with a friend, never mind a criminal. ED had smuggled in his favorite silk boxers to Easton, but he was not allowed to bring them to Bucks. What a loss! The sock situation is similar...every two days, each inmate is issued two pairs of socks. Two days later, they turn in their socks for two new pairs. He showed us the socks...which were rather worn-thin plain white sweat socks. He said many of the socks had holes and were stretched out (by other inmates' feet, of course!).

While we were on the topic of food, ED told us an amusing but heartbreaking tale. Apparently, a few years back, ED fractured his elbow and forearm so badly that they had to be pinned. Inmates are made to go through a metal detector after each meal. Even though the guards know about the metal in ED's arm, he has to undergo a strip search after every meal just to make sure he's not taking advantage of his surgical enhancement. Yes, not just naked, but bent over and searched by a guard wearing a latex glove...after every meal. You'd think they could use a hand-held metal detector to assure that the only metal on him was in his elbow...but no. Just another way for the authorities to exert their control...in a very personal manner!

We asked about lights-out policy. Inmates are locked down at 11PM but do have a small, faint light in their cell, barely enough to read by, that they can leave on as long as they'd like. ED said that Bucks was far less restrictive than Easton about reading materials, allowing ordinary folks to mail books (even hardcover!) and magazines as long as they were marked 'Reading Materials'. We vowed to mail as much as possible.

ED told us he'd been allowed outside for exercise two days last week, and then...the outside yard was closed for a month for renovationsstupidly told him how nice it was getting outside. We then discussed when he'd be released. The earliest possible date is May 30th, but he is not too hopeful of getting out then. Why? It seems that the Pennsylvania State Parole Board is playing politics. You may remember that crazed incident last year when a just-paroled inmate from Pennsylvania came to New York, killed a few people in a really surreal fashion, went to New Jersey, and killed a cop. It seems that the entire PA State Parole Board was fired and replaced after that incident. ED told us that since then, no one in PA had been granted parole at their earliest release date. While we might be able to understand this for violent criminals, it is unfathomable for those accused of misdemeanor offenses.

The good news is that ED's lawyer received word about the appeal on March 29th. It seems that the vaguely-worded law about telecommunications devices being used with intent to defraud may yet fall by the wayside. We're all hoping this happens, but of course, the appeal won't even be heard by federal judges until late fall this year.

ED told us that his health is improving, thanks to Bucks County's non-smoking wing. He was still coughing, but sounded better than he has. He was able to talk almost non-stop for the entire 90-minute visit with only one trip to the water fountain. ED mentioned that he was not allowed to bring the Hall's cough drops he purchased at Easton's commissary to Bucks County. We talked about the vitamins he was hoping to purchase from the commissary, also having lost those he bought in Easton. rna mentioned that ED might want to take more than one vitamin every few days, to help build up his vitamin stores.

was really quiet - I think she was amazed to finally meet ED. They did talk briefly about the comic books and crazy magazines she'd mailed to him. By this point, rna was really feeling the brunt of her cold and could barely stay focused. She was a trooper, though, managing to hold together until we left the prison building.

discussed a thought that had about filing for a Writ of Mandamus, which basically requires law enforcement officials to enforce a specific law. Since the law ED was originally charged with was so vague, perhaps filing for this writ against ourselves (as users of telecommunications devices who change digital information on them every day...every time we make a phone call!) might prove the point. ED cautioned us to be very, very careful if we decide to do this. He reiterated that the only reason he was allowed to appeal the law's constitutionality even though he pled guilty was that he was the first person charged under it think we'll take his advice and see how the appeal goes.

We found out that we couldn't send him t-shirts, socks or underwear. ED said the only thing other than reading material he was allowed to receive would be a 13" color TV shipped directly from an electronics store. When questioned, he said that the TV in prison was most always tuned to wrestling or some such event. While he'd never owned a TV (even on the 'outside'), he kind of expressed interest in one without really asking outright. [The three of us silently vowed to ask the group if they'd each like to pitch in $10 to get one sent right out. Strangely, the TV has to be 13" and has to be color. Inmates are not allowed to use remote controls, so there must be buttons for changing the channel. Researching it a bit, I found several 13" color TVs for $120-$140. Anyone game for pitching in?]

Another bellow boomed out...five minutes left. rna perked up a bit and mentioned that she had a car reserved for April 12th and 13 th. We told ED we'd make plans to visit again that weekend. I also mentioned that we were planning to head home through New Hope (not via the Turnpikes) and he enthusiastically told us we should definitely stop there and enjoy it for him.

Perhaps it was the hacker in us, but even at the 'Visitation is OVER!' bellow, we didn't stop talking. We did get up and hug, but stayed near our chairs. This promptly brought an officer or two right over to us, telling us quite clearly to move to the front of the room. Obviously we were newbies at visiting, because the rest of the inmates and their families were continuing hugs and kisses near the basketball hoops. ED introduced us to another inmate, alias Mason Wall, who reads 2600 as we walked towards the front of the room don't recall what he was in jail for, but he was very nice. He referred to us as "Bernie S' 2600 Fanclub". We parted as the guards continued to prod us out of the room, waving good bye.

Only then did I think, "Hey, we should have done more than hug this guy twice. We should have held his hands while we talked, just to let him know he has our support. In jail for so long, he must be starved for human contact." Next time, perhaps.

We reclaimed our possessions and jackets. We had the bright idea of asking if we could have a copy of the dress code (it was quite amusing). We figured it must be printed somewhere. The new guards on duty told us that the dress code was simple: wear jeans and a tucked in shirt. We said, no, we wanted a printed copy to pass on to other friends who might visit. We then asked if we could photograph the sign to assure that we understood all the rules (there were about 10). This was met with an emphatic NO. The guard said our inmate had a copy of the rules in his handbook and could send us a copy if we really needed it.

Feeling oppressed, we left. How can it possibly feel to be so oppressed 24 hours a day?

rna practically collapsed as we walked back to the car. She said that if we had had any other reason for our trip, she would have canceled. We bundled her, shivering and dizzy, into the back of the car. We left the prison parking lot and headed home the back way.

Continuing north on 611, we took the Route 202 exit only a few miles away. We stayed on Route 202 through Lahaska, New Hope, Lambertville, and Flemington grew up in this area, so it was quite a trip down memory lane. We noticed that there were two more of those phast phood outlets the group is so fond of in this direction - one close to Doylestown, one close to Somerville. We stopped once in Lambertville for apple juice and once again in Somerville for gas and a rest stop.

Finally through the tunnel, I dropped off at the subway and proceeded north to take rna home. It turned out she had a 103 fever. Stopping briefly at my house, I then returned our friend's car to Queens, safe and sound.

reflected on the trip and what prison life must be like. ED's spirits were so good after so much BS - I can't imagine keeping my sanity as well as he has came to the conclusion that I would encourage everyone in the group to visit as often as possible, to write, and to send money if they can. ED is being persecuted for something we all do daily, using telecommunications devices. The least we can do is be there for him to talk to, offer our friendship and support. If anyone would like to do more and pitch in for a TV, please e-mail me ASAP at significant0ther@esoteric.com.

Mail ED stuff at :

			Ed Cummings

			Bucks County Correctional Institute

			1730 South Easton Road

			#D-13

			Doylestown, PA 18901

You can always finger bernies@2600.com for other information...and listen to the Off The Hook radio show every Tuesday Night at 8PM on WBAI 99.5FM (in NYC), where Bernie almost always calls in.