WEBVTT

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This is dedicated to all the hackers and the crackers, to the hackers and the crackers.

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I see in binary, I speak source code, step on my toes, I'll post a million game pegs

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of you in a fag pose, in your digital stance getting firewalled ho, cause I'm riding the

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net in my six foe, I was a dick with my 56, now with my cable I'm able to get that stable,

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on the out, my name is Ace and I'm a Leo, on the digital highway, my name is Neo and I'm

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a hero, in a flash, I'll screw you on burning dream cats, you need some ISOs, let me do

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my hard drive rifle, our exchange you could never stifle, in a digital hug, you just caught

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the love bug, I bootlegged your CD, I caused a fight between Un and Jay-Z, your CG, it's

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all gonna be free, whether we take it by force or we take it nicely, you feel that rattle

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in your bones, when I tell you we just hacked out Jones, and NASDAQ leaves you flat on your

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back, cause I am he who loves to hack and crack, cause I am he who loves to hack and crack.

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This is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers, serial phones, source codes, ISOs, RANs, SIFSIS,

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this is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers.

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Hello everyone and welcome to Binary Revolution Radio, episode 75, coming to you December 21st,

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2004, I am StankDog with you again this week, however, this is one of our special episodes,

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every 25th episode is a little something we call the Telephonic Craptacular, and this is

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the third Telephonic Craptacular, episode 75, and this episode's a little different from

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others, because it's somewhat of a clip show, if you will, it's not a clip show in the sense

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that we're rehashing old material, but this is a bunch of pre-recorded clips, some telephone

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calls that we have made here and there, some telemarketer calls that I've gotten that I

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like to play around with and have fun with a little bit, some freak adventures if you will,

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so this episode is a little different than some of the ones you're used to hearing, so

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for those new listeners who've never heard one of these before, hopefully you will enjoy

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it, you might go check episode 25 and episode 50 if you want to hear the first two versions

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of this, and we're going to see if we can't do something fun, funny this time as well, so

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I guess the best thing to do is to just jump right into it. So, this first call is a call

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I got from a telemarketer, something we all know and love, and those of you who have heard

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previous editions of the Telephonic Craptacular know that I like to have a little fun with them,

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so I thought I'd start off with one of these. Hello? Is Stank there? Uh, who's calling?

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This is Trina calling with Need Money Florida. With who? Need Money Florida? Yeah. I need money

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too. Well, I know, that's why I'm calling you. Oh, you got money for me? Yeah. Kick ass, I wish

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I get these calls more often. Well, is it Stank, or is Stank available? Um, how exactly are you

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going to give me money first if I were Stank? Well, if you were Stank, but I would tell you

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that I'm Katrina, I'm following up on the brochure that I had sent out that speaks about our cash

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out and, um, debt consolidation programs that are available, and we wanted to show you no cost

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your obligation what we could do to help you in those areas. Uh-huh. If I were Stank, I

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probably wouldn't be interested in the debt consolidation. And so... But you sound pretty

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cute. How old are you? I'm 20. 20? All right. Attached? Single? No. No? No. Wow. Maybe we

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got to talk offline once you get off the job. Is this Stank? Well, is this Katrina? Yes,

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I'm Katrina. Well, I am allegedly Stank. If I were to say I was Stank, you'd have to go

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through with this whole spiel about how you're going to consolidate my debts and everything.

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Well, how much do you owe on your credit cards? Um... You're just messing with me. I know

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you are. I'm trying to get to know you. I'm not messing with you. I'm trying to find

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the inner Katrina. I'm trying to... But you're trying to find the inner Katrina? Yeah, I'm

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trying to see if you know we're compatible. You know, maybe we could talk about this over

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dinner. Oh, we're going to talk about it over dinner, are we? Yeah. Well, when are we going

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to do that? Uh, when do you want to do that? No. Dude. No, is this Stank? This is Stank.

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Then, yes, I'm just messing with you. Okay, this is Stank. Uh, yes, it is. And you're

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the homeowner. Uh, yes, I am. How much would you say your house is worth Stank? Does that

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depend... Does the date depend on that? Yes, it all depends on what kind... If you help

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me. If I... Are you sure it's not that, or are you just trying to see if I've got the

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bling bling? Are you wanting... You know, you want to make sure I got the money. Is that

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what it's about? Yeah, I'm trying to find the guy with the bling bling. Um, yeah, I'm

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Stank. Um, I'm really happy with my finances right now, and I don't want to, uh, refinance

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or consolidate or any of that good stuff. It would give yourself a wonderful day. You

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too. You're like a very nice girl. Continue the hard work. Yeah, bye-bye. Bye. Oh, that

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was hilarious. Well, I thought that one was funny anyway. Um, now this next one is, uh,

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just kind of a tip, really, of how to get off the phone sometimes with these people right

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away if you do get sucked into the call. Uh, they're usually calling to give you some

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kind of great rate or great offer or great discount or whatever, and they usually try

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to hook you in by saying, what is this? What do you have now? Tell them you have some, something

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so amazing, you know, just make something up that they can't, you know, they can't beat,

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and then they'll be forced to hang up the phone because they don't really have much else

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to say. Hello? Hello, sir. Is this Mr. Stank? Uh, this is he? Yes, sir. My name is... Real

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name removed. I'll be nice. I'm an assistant loan officer with Amerigroup Mortgage Corporation.

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Okay. I was wondering if I could take a minute of your time and talk with you about the FHA

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loan you received on your home. Do you know what your current interest rate is? Uh, it's,

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I think, 2.5%. Okay. Well, sir, I, I, unfortunately, I cannot benefit you at this time. Thank you,

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though. Have a nice evening. Thank you. Yes, sir. Bye-bye. Yeah, give them a ridiculously

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low amount that they know they can't beat and just see how they react. Now, the telephonic

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crap texture is not about just getting phone calls and messing with telemarketers, although

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that is one of the funnest parts. Uh, we actually make some phone calls, too, so, uh,

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I got some phone calls that we've made outgoing to find some interesting information, and,

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um, this first one, actually, was from our good friend Lucky225, and, uh, he had received

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a notice about, uh, getting a credit card, but, of course, uh, some of you might know that

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Lucky does not have a social security number. Well, for this scenario, he doesn't, anyway.

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Thank you for calling the Bank Card Center. Just call me the monitor for quality assurance.

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For English, press 1. Open it in.

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Thank you for calling the Bank Card Center. My name is Kim. May I have your reference number,

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please? Sure, ma'am. It's, uh, 225.

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Thank you. And your name, please? Lucky David Miller.

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And your mailing address? P.O. Box 1111, Guasti, California, 91743.

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And your date of birth? February 25, 1983.

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Okay, let's see here. And we will start with your mother's maiden name, please.

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Smith.

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And your social security number? I don't have one.

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Okay, that is a requirement. Uh, actually...

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We can't pull a credit? Yes, you can pull a credit with my name, my date of birth, and my address,

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and, uh, the Federal Equal Credit Opportunity Act prohibits you from discriminating against

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credit applicants on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, marriage status, age,

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uh, and it's against my religion to have a social security number.

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Okay, let's see here. What else I needed? Uh...

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Okay, I'm going to place you on hold for just a moment while I update your application. Is that okay?

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Okay.

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Just a moment, please.

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Thank you for holding. Just please disregard the letter that you have.

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Okay.

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And you should receive a new response from us within seven to ten days.

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Okay, thank you very much, Smith.

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Thank you for calling. You have a great day.

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Bye.

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Goodbye.

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Some numbers you call. Just, um, defy explanation.

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Please deposit nine trillion nine hundred ninety nine billion nine hundred ninety nine million

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dollars and seven cents.

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Um...

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Uh...

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And then there's always the rejection hotline.

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So if you've never called one of these before, check them out.

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Okay, now we're going to call the rejection hotline in Miami.

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And let's give it a shot.

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Now the number is 305-241-0033.

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Hello, this is not the person you were trying to call.

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You've reached the rejection hotline provided by rejectionhotline.com.

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The person who gave you this number did not want you to have their real number.

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We know this sucks, but don't be too devastated.

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So why were you given the rejection hotline number?

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Maybe you're just not this person.

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Type.

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Note, this could mean short, fat, ugly, dumb, annoying, arrogant, or just a general loser.

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Maybe you suffer from bad breath, body odor, or a nasty combination of the two.

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Maybe you just give off that creepy, overbearing, psycho stalker vibe.

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Maybe the idea of going out with you just seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

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Regardless of the reason, please take the hint.

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Accept the fact that you were rejected and then get over it.

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And please, do your best to forget about the person who gave you this number, because trust us, they've already forgotten about you.

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The rejection hotline is provided by rejectionhotline.com and sponsored by, well, we don't really have a national advertising sponsor yet, but you could win cash and prizes if you help us get one.

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Visit www.rejectionhotline.com for information on our search for a national advertising sponsor, for rejection hotline numbers in other cities, for rejection business cards, and other rejection hotline merchandise, including our new rejection boxer shorts and thongs.

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All that and more at www.rejectionhotline.com.

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And if you're still listening, don't worry.

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It could be much worse.

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In addition to being rejected, you could have been laughed at, too.

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Thank you. Good day.

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Oh, well, no freaking on that box.

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Ironic, though, that even if you bought their rejection hotline thong or boxers, you'd probably have an even higher chance of being rejected, but that's just me.

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And from the same people, at least the voice sounds the same as the rejection hotline, we have a little something called the telemarketer's nightmare.

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And this number, there's only a couple of these, so we're going to call one in, oh, I don't know, how about Rhode Island, is 401-648-7950.

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Hello, this is not the person you were trying to reach.

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You've reached the telemarketer's nightmare.

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Brought to you by telemarketersnightmare.com and sponsored by the Phone Butler, the best anti-telemarketing device around.

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Mr. or Ms. telemarketer, we understand you're just doing your job, but if this number ended up on your call list,

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it's because most people consider telemarketing calls to be as annoying as paper cuts, mosquito bites, standing in line at the DMV, cell phones ringing in a movie theater, and stepping in a big pile of dogs.

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Wow, so I've been pre-approved for a new credit card?

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What color this week, silver, gold, platinum?

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Yeah, I don't care if it's pink with green polka dots, the answer is still no.

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So you're calling to offer me the lowest long distance rates around, a no-risk credit protection program, free magazine subscriptions, or new windows for my house?

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Sounds great, thanks so much, but my answers are no, no, no, and what was that last one again?

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Oh yeah, no.

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I'm not suggesting that all telemarketers deserve to be rolled in honey and thrown in a bear cage at the Roger Williams Zoo.

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I'm just saying that I enjoy telemarketing calls as much as spoiled milk, moldy bread, soggy cereal, and slamming my hand in a car door.

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I don't want to hear about your special limited-time offer.

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I don't want you to call back tomorrow, next week, or next month.

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The answer to whatever you're asking is a big, fat no.

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So you should probably just hang up now and go back to work.

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I'm sure you've got lots of other names on your list of people that bother and annoy.

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Thanks for calling Telemarketers Nightmare, provided by telemarketersnightmare.com.

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I'm in partnership with the Phone Butler, the best anti-telemarketing device around.

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Just press the star key with the Phone Butler, and unwanted callers hear this.

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Pardon me, this is the Phone Butler, and I have been directed to inform you that this household must respectfully decline your inquiry.

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Kindly place this number on your do-not-call list.

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Good day.

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And just like that, the telemarketer can't call back for ten years.

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For Telemarketer Nightmare numbers in other cities, or to get your very own Phone Butler for your home,

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please visit www.telemarketersnightmare.com.

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The Telemarketers Nightmare.

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We get the last laugh.

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Wee-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he.

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Hello.

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Invalid entry.

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Hello, this is not the person you were trying to reach.

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You've reached...

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The Telemarketers Nightmare.com.

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Sold.

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Hello, this is not the...

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Invalid entry.

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Hello.

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Hello, this is not

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Sorry, I could not find any matching accounts

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Hello, this is not the person you were trying to

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I'm sorry, I could not find any matching accounts

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Hello

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Hello, this is not

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Invalid entry, to leave a message, press 2

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The rejection hotline

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Receive messages because their mailbox is full

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Cancelled, thank you, goodbye

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Whoa

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Alrighty then, that was pretty interesting

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Am I goodbyed or not?

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Alright, well, anyway, that was the, what was that again?

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The telemarketer's nightmare line

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And I went ahead and left all the ads and stuff in that

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Because, hey, we're using their material on the air

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Why not give them a little publicity

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So that's all well and good

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And I was just trying to leave a message there at the end

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And apparently you can punch in some account numbers, it would appear

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Maybe you might check that out if you're interested

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And yet another rejection line

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This one is

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2-1-2-4-7-9-7-9-9-0

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Welcome to the New York City Rejection Line

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Brought to you by RejectionLine.com

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Unfortunately, the person who gave you this number

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Does not want to talk to you

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Or see you again

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We would like to take this opportunity

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To officially reject you

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Our certified rejection specialists

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Are waiting to serve you in your time of need

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Please listen carefully to the following menu

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Service provided by EFLS

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If you want to speak to our comfort specialists

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Press 1

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If you want to hear a sad poem written by a kindred spirit

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Press 2

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If you want to cling to the unrealistic hope

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That a relationship is still possible

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Press 3

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If you want to set up a personal voicemail account

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Press 4

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Yeah, 3 sounds good

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The person who gave you this number

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Was probably just joking around

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Later you'll laugh about this together

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Lying in bed as a couple

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Kissing, massaging, nuzzling

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Ever so gently

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As you alternately spoon and mutually masturbate

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Or maybe the sexy-ass person who gave you this number

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Did it on accident

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Was it digit off?

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Try other possible combinations

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Was the handwriting blurry?

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Aha!

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Hmm?

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The person who gave you this number

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Obviously liked you on some level

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Or they never would have even bothered

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To take the time to talk to you

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Maybe this is their way of saying

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Hey you

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I'm scared

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I'm scared of committing to

17:59.700 --> 18:01.820
Or even casually dating you

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Because you are that intimidating

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And impressive

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Wow

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Cupid strikes again

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Love is so crazy

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Good luck hot stuff

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Wow

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Did you hear that?

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Hot stuff she called me

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I think the rejection hotline chick wants me

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Alright, maybe not

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And this number is

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310-495-5412

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Thank you for calling

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Unfortunately

18:42.980 --> 18:44.680
The person who gave you this number

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Does not want to talk to you

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Or speak to you

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Ever again

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We would like to take this opportunity

18:49.800 --> 18:51.720
To officially reject you

18:51.720 --> 18:53.020
If you would like to order

18:53.020 --> 18:54.360
Personalized rejection cards

18:54.360 --> 18:55.640
With this number printed on them

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Please visit our website

18:56.860 --> 19:01.140
At www.gotrejected.com

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Our certified rejection specialists

19:03.220 --> 19:04.560
Are standing by to serve you

19:04.560 --> 19:05.400
In this time of need

19:05.400 --> 19:06.660
Please listen carefully

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To the following options

19:07.840 --> 19:09.920
To hear some consoling poetry

19:09.920 --> 19:10.800
Press 1

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To hear a joke or two

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Bachelorettes

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Memories tingling and twirling

19:17.960 --> 19:18.540
On my lips

19:18.540 --> 19:19.400
Like the summer

19:19.400 --> 19:21.320
I fell in and out of love

19:21.320 --> 19:24.560
So quickly it left me

19:24.560 --> 19:25.980
Paper thin and bruised

19:25.980 --> 19:27.600
But I am transformed

19:27.600 --> 19:28.800
And transfixed

19:28.800 --> 19:30.840
By these butterfly quick eyes

19:30.840 --> 19:32.440
That dart purposefully

19:32.440 --> 19:33.700
Beyond my horizon

19:33.700 --> 19:34.780
And for once

19:34.780 --> 19:35.720
Pierce through

19:35.720 --> 19:36.620
This thin

19:36.620 --> 19:38.080
Shadowy face

19:38.080 --> 19:39.720
And into the part of me

19:39.720 --> 19:40.500
That loved

19:40.500 --> 19:41.340
Paris

19:41.340 --> 19:55.560
It's so sad

19:55.560 --> 19:57.400
I could kill these stars

19:57.400 --> 19:58.200
In your eyes

19:58.200 --> 19:59.160
Easily

19:59.160 --> 20:00.000
But for once

20:00.000 --> 20:01.440
I don't mind

20:01.440 --> 20:02.720
The constellations

20:02.720 --> 20:12.840
Do you feel rejected yet?

20:13.060 --> 20:13.660
Maybe not

20:13.660 --> 20:14.820
Why don't you hang up now

20:14.820 --> 20:15.400
Call back

20:15.400 --> 20:17.000
And listen to one of the other buttons

20:17.000 --> 20:26.460
Thank you for calling

20:26.460 --> 20:27.500
Unfortunately

20:27.500 --> 20:29.080
The person who gave you this number

20:29.080 --> 20:30.340
Does not want to talk to you

20:30.340 --> 20:31.500
Or speak to you

20:31.500 --> 20:32.300
Ever again

20:32.300 --> 20:34.200
Who would like to take this opportunity

20:34.200 --> 20:36.140
To officially reject you

20:36.140 --> 20:37.420
If you would like to order

20:37.420 --> 20:38.780
Personalized rejection cards

20:38.780 --> 20:40.040
With this number printed on that

20:40.040 --> 20:42.040
All right

20:42.040 --> 20:43.080
You've been rejected

20:43.080 --> 20:44.680
Let's see if we can make you feel

20:44.680 --> 20:45.100
A little better

20:45.100 --> 20:46.060
With a couple of jokes

20:46.060 --> 20:47.820
So tell me

20:47.820 --> 20:49.720
How does a dummy

20:49.720 --> 20:51.120
Kill a groundhog?

20:52.240 --> 20:53.760
He buries it

20:53.760 --> 20:57.560
Okay, how about this

20:57.560 --> 20:59.460
What do you call a boomerang

20:59.460 --> 21:00.980
That doesn't come back?

21:02.300 --> 21:03.040
A stick

21:03.040 --> 21:05.880
Okay, okay

21:05.880 --> 21:08.000
What do you call a cow

21:08.000 --> 21:09.680
That won't give milk?

21:10.620 --> 21:11.720
A milk dud

21:11.720 --> 21:15.180
How about what do you call a cow

21:15.180 --> 21:15.940
In a tornado?

21:17.040 --> 21:18.120
A milkshake

21:18.120 --> 21:23.400
All right

21:23.400 --> 21:24.240
That's the end of my show

21:24.240 --> 21:28.160
But our show is not over

21:28.160 --> 21:29.540
Our show has just begun

21:29.540 --> 21:30.420
Actually

21:30.420 --> 21:31.460
I guess we're about a third

21:31.460 --> 21:32.040
Of the way through it

21:32.040 --> 21:32.380
But

21:32.380 --> 21:35.040
Sometimes we make calls

21:35.040 --> 21:37.180
We'll be on the phone

21:37.180 --> 21:37.680
And just

21:37.680 --> 21:38.200
Board

21:38.200 --> 21:39.420
Decide to call up

21:39.420 --> 21:40.660
A random company

21:40.660 --> 21:41.780
Or some company

21:41.780 --> 21:43.060
We want to get more information

21:43.060 --> 21:43.660
Out of

21:43.660 --> 21:44.560
And just see what they're

21:44.560 --> 21:45.740
I like to play with

21:45.740 --> 21:47.040
Just the voicemail systems

21:47.040 --> 21:48.040
Just kind of see

21:48.040 --> 21:48.840
What kind of functions

21:48.840 --> 21:49.280
Are available

21:49.280 --> 21:49.900
See if there's any

21:49.900 --> 21:50.540
Undocumented

21:50.540 --> 21:51.700
Any backdoor functions

21:51.700 --> 21:52.640
Things like that

21:52.640 --> 21:54.820
So this call

21:54.820 --> 21:56.100
Was one that

21:56.100 --> 21:56.980
Was

21:56.980 --> 21:58.260
Was actually

21:58.260 --> 21:59.180
Black Ratchet and I

21:59.180 --> 21:59.640
On the phone

21:59.640 --> 22:00.220
And we were just

22:00.220 --> 22:01.340
Calling some numbers

22:01.340 --> 22:02.080
Because we like

22:02.080 --> 22:04.280
The voice response systems

22:04.280 --> 22:05.500
Used by FedEx

22:05.500 --> 22:06.020
For example

22:06.020 --> 22:06.860
Which is I believe

22:06.860 --> 22:08.160
1-800-GO-FEDEX

22:08.160 --> 22:10.200
And who else

22:10.200 --> 22:11.800
Sony uses that

22:11.800 --> 22:12.920
We were playing around

22:12.920 --> 22:13.380
With them

22:13.380 --> 22:14.800
And Microsoft

22:14.800 --> 22:15.820
We decided to give them

22:15.820 --> 22:16.480
A call to their

22:16.480 --> 22:17.360
Bug report line

22:17.360 --> 22:18.520
And this is what happened

22:18.520 --> 22:20.840
Okay

22:20.840 --> 22:22.280
So we're going to call

22:22.280 --> 22:22.900
What are we calling

22:22.900 --> 22:23.280
I'm calling

22:23.280 --> 22:23.800
Microsoft

22:23.800 --> 22:25.220
Reporting a Microsoft

22:25.220 --> 22:26.400
Product bug

22:26.400 --> 22:27.020
So let me

22:27.020 --> 22:28.440
Flip over here

22:28.440 --> 22:31.040
1-800

22:31.040 --> 22:37.260
6-4-2-7-6-7-6

22:37.260 --> 22:38.760
Alright let's see

22:38.760 --> 22:39.360
What this does

22:39.360 --> 22:42.900
Let's see here

22:42.900 --> 22:44.000
Thank you for calling

22:44.000 --> 22:44.520
Microsoft

22:44.520 --> 22:46.160
If you are calling

22:46.160 --> 22:47.480
With a designated code

22:47.480 --> 22:48.560
Press 1

22:48.560 --> 22:50.180
For technical support

22:50.180 --> 22:51.100
On all Microsoft

22:51.100 --> 22:51.820
Products

22:51.820 --> 22:52.640
Press 2

22:52.640 --> 22:53.920
For pre-sales

22:53.920 --> 22:54.400
Product

22:54.400 --> 22:55.500
I've got a code

22:55.500 --> 22:55.980
Please enter your

22:55.980 --> 22:57.340
4-digit code now

22:57.340 --> 22:58.040
4-digit

22:58.040 --> 22:58.120
4-digit

22:58.120 --> 22:58.800
If your code is longer

22:58.800 --> 22:59.660
Than 4 digits

22:59.660 --> 23:00.860
Please enter only

23:00.860 --> 23:02.080
The first 4 digits

23:02.080 --> 23:03.520
Press the pound key

23:03.520 --> 23:04.100
When done

23:04.100 --> 23:05.240
Or press star

23:05.240 --> 23:06.020
At any time

23:06.020 --> 23:07.260
To re-enter your number

23:07.260 --> 23:09.740
1-3-3-7

23:09.740 --> 23:13.500
One moment, please, while we look up your promotion code.

23:14.220 --> 23:15.460
Promotion code. Interesting.

23:16.500 --> 23:18.080
The code you entered is invalid.

23:18.840 --> 23:20.740
One moment, please, while your call is connected.

23:21.200 --> 23:22.980
Your call may be monitored or recorded.

23:24.180 --> 23:25.060
Bring a bug.

23:31.140 --> 23:33.100
Thanks for calling Microsoft Customer Service.

23:33.280 --> 23:33.740
My name is...

23:33.740 --> 23:34.260
Anonymous.

23:34.560 --> 23:35.700
May I have your full name, please?

23:36.420 --> 23:38.140
Yeah, it's Steve Wilson.

23:39.740 --> 23:41.920
Thank you very much, Steve.

23:41.980 --> 23:43.040
May I have a phone number, please?

23:44.440 --> 23:49.200
Actually, I'm calling from work, and I'm not really supposed to give out the number here.

23:49.920 --> 23:50.240
Okay.

23:51.020 --> 23:52.780
Do you have a number you...

23:52.780 --> 23:56.280
The reason I'm asking is in case we get disconnected so I can reach you back.

23:56.320 --> 23:57.760
Is there any other number you'd like to give?

23:57.760 --> 23:58.380
Oh, no.

23:58.460 --> 23:59.100
I can just call.

23:59.220 --> 24:01.700
If we get disconnected, I'm sure everything will be fine.

24:02.100 --> 24:02.340
Okay.

24:02.420 --> 24:03.020
Not a problem.

24:03.180 --> 24:03.920
How may I help you today?

24:04.280 --> 24:07.980
Yeah, I'm having some problems with Service Pack 2,

24:07.980 --> 24:12.820
and I looked up in the knowledge base,

24:13.420 --> 24:15.480
and I didn't see that it was reported there,

24:15.700 --> 24:18.340
and I saw this number on the website,

24:18.500 --> 24:20.700
so I didn't know if I should call and report it to you or not.

24:20.780 --> 24:22.960
What is your policy as far as...

24:22.960 --> 24:24.240
I mean, do I have the right number for that?

24:25.200 --> 24:28.940
Are you trying to report a bug or something like that?

24:28.940 --> 24:29.780
Yeah, yeah, that's what I was saying.

24:30.500 --> 24:33.080
I think that I found a bug I can recreate.

24:34.160 --> 24:37.660
Ever since I installed Service Pack 2, I'm having a problem with Outlook Express,

24:38.080 --> 24:40.860
and I was just trying to be helpful and report it,

24:40.880 --> 24:42.040
and I saw this number on the website.

24:42.160 --> 24:44.240
I don't know if this is the correct number or not.

24:46.160 --> 24:46.680
What number?

24:47.380 --> 24:50.340
Yeah, it says if you're reporting a Microsoft product bug,

24:50.340 --> 24:53.480
if you think you found a bug in a Microsoft, contact this number.

24:54.120 --> 24:54.740
Okay, yeah.

24:55.020 --> 24:57.660
I can go ahead and take down that information from you

24:57.660 --> 25:00.680
and submit it into our database here.

25:00.960 --> 25:02.940
Actually, now you have me worried.

25:03.000 --> 25:04.120
I feel like I'm bothering you.

25:04.220 --> 25:07.940
You act like no one reports a bug, I guess.

25:08.760 --> 25:10.620
You guys are that good.

25:11.440 --> 25:11.980
Excuse me?

25:12.020 --> 25:14.220
I said you guys are that good, I think is how it is, right?

25:14.520 --> 25:17.120
Microsoft just doesn't make mistakes is what I'm hearing.

25:17.560 --> 25:18.100
Oh, no.

25:18.100 --> 25:21.440
No, basically I'm relatively new here,

25:21.700 --> 25:24.420
and this will be the first bug case I've taken.

25:24.640 --> 25:25.180
Oh, really?

25:25.300 --> 25:25.540
Wow.

25:25.720 --> 25:25.940
Yeah.

25:26.340 --> 25:27.560
It's a first for both of us.

25:27.560 --> 25:28.020
How about that?

25:28.360 --> 25:29.080
I guess so.

25:30.120 --> 25:34.980
So, yeah, go ahead and explain the bug, I guess.

25:35.420 --> 25:38.820
Okay, is there some certain particular screen you have to bring up on your end?

25:38.820 --> 25:41.760
Is that, I assume you have some kind of interface,

25:41.880 --> 25:45.440
and you log all the details in, am I assuming correctly?

25:46.220 --> 25:49.160
Yeah, let me, can I put you on hold for one moment, please?

25:49.260 --> 25:49.920
Sure, absolutely.

25:50.400 --> 25:50.880
Thank you.

25:55.260 --> 25:57.260
I have no idea where I'm going with this.

25:57.260 --> 26:19.080
I can see you standing fancy right now.

26:19.080 --> 26:32.800
I'm not going to wait much longer.

26:32.800 --> 26:45.240
Steve?

26:45.900 --> 26:46.340
Yes.

26:46.900 --> 26:47.620
Thank you for holding.

26:48.800 --> 26:53.200
Okay, I've been talking to one of my peers over here,

26:53.240 --> 26:54.780
and he kind of explained to me what goes on.

26:55.500 --> 26:57.620
Are you needing assistance with this bug?

26:57.620 --> 27:03.940
Um, no, honestly, I don't really need you to fix it for me or anything right now.

27:04.040 --> 27:06.360
I think it's probably something deeper than that.

27:06.500 --> 27:11.580
I was just figuring it's something you could put in the next service pack or release or something like that.

27:12.060 --> 27:14.720
Okay, then if you don't need assistance,

27:14.840 --> 27:20.500
I can go ahead and take down any information you'd like to give about how the bug is occurring.

27:20.720 --> 27:21.580
I'm sorry to laugh.

27:21.640 --> 27:22.280
That sounded funny.

27:22.340 --> 27:23.980
If I don't need help, then you can help me.

27:23.980 --> 27:28.940
No, if you need assistance, then there's a different process we go through.

27:29.480 --> 27:30.480
Oh, I see.

27:30.680 --> 27:33.500
I would create a case and get you on to a support professional.

27:34.300 --> 27:36.840
But if you don't need assistance in that manner,

27:37.100 --> 27:43.120
then I can go ahead and take down any information you'd like to give about how to reproduce the bug,

27:43.180 --> 27:45.080
and I can submit that into our database.

27:46.200 --> 27:50.760
Okay, is there some way that I can do that online through the website as well?

27:50.760 --> 27:54.360
Because it's quite a few steps,

27:54.520 --> 27:58.860
and I think I can probably type it better myself just to not try to –

27:58.860 --> 28:01.500
it's kind of hard to explain the technical terms and stuff.

28:02.020 --> 28:02.260
Okay.

28:03.040 --> 28:03.780
Let me see.

28:03.880 --> 28:08.100
What you could do is type it up in an email and send that in.

28:08.160 --> 28:09.480
Let me find that link.

28:09.740 --> 28:10.820
Yeah, that would be great.

28:10.880 --> 28:11.980
I'd be more comfortable with that.

28:12.380 --> 28:13.280
Okay, not a problem.

28:13.280 --> 28:15.740
So let me find it real quick.

28:23.680 --> 28:27.240
So you're new to the department, or so you've only been there for how long?

28:28.260 --> 28:29.320
A few months.

28:29.520 --> 28:30.060
A few months.

28:30.140 --> 28:30.860
You like it so far?

28:31.420 --> 28:31.900
Oh, yeah.

28:31.980 --> 28:33.000
It's an awesome job, actually.

28:33.000 --> 28:34.760
You're going to hook me up with a job, man.

28:34.760 --> 28:35.480
I can come up there.

28:36.240 --> 28:38.120
I'm surprised I even got this one.

28:38.280 --> 28:38.640
Oh, yeah?

28:39.100 --> 28:43.600
Well, it's just a stream of fortunate events, I guess.

28:44.020 --> 28:45.940
Just moved up here, and –

28:45.940 --> 28:47.280
Are you actually in Redmond?

28:47.440 --> 28:47.800
They called me.

28:48.740 --> 28:53.660
Close to there, south of Redmond, in a town called Issaquah.

28:54.220 --> 28:54.780
Uh-huh.

28:55.080 --> 28:56.500
And you actually work for Microsoft.

28:56.660 --> 28:57.700
You're not outsourced, right?

28:57.720 --> 28:58.480
You're actually –

28:58.480 --> 29:01.560
Well, technically, yeah.

29:01.560 --> 29:09.000
I work through a contract agency, but I am in a Microsoft building, that's for sure.

29:09.180 --> 29:09.820
Oh, well, that's cool.

29:10.180 --> 29:12.440
Hey, they have good physical security on those buildings.

29:12.520 --> 29:16.100
You have to, like, swipe cards and get thumbprints and lick something when you walk in the door

29:16.100 --> 29:16.880
or anything like that.

29:17.140 --> 29:18.620
And a retina scan and fingerprints.

29:18.880 --> 29:19.600
Everything, huh?

29:20.860 --> 29:23.300
I bet – that sounds like a really cool place to work.

29:23.420 --> 29:26.120
I bet you – do you also get, like, all the new technology?

29:26.200 --> 29:29.660
Are you guys using Longhorn on your computers already, or are you just using normal X?

29:29.680 --> 29:29.760
No.

29:30.060 --> 29:30.380
No?

29:30.380 --> 29:33.360
No, that's still – I don't even think that's in beta yet.

29:33.480 --> 29:36.800
So, no, we – I have XP on my machine.

29:37.000 --> 29:37.260
You do?

29:38.040 --> 29:38.860
Let me see.

29:39.160 --> 29:40.320
What kind of machine do you have, a Dell?

29:41.220 --> 29:43.180
Or is Microsoft making their own PCs now?

29:44.000 --> 29:44.920
No, no.

29:46.960 --> 29:48.640
No, we're not making our own PCs.

29:49.160 --> 29:49.780
Let me see.

29:51.340 --> 29:52.120
Probably using Dell.

29:52.120 --> 29:52.680
I have some difficulty.

29:52.900 --> 29:56.220
Can I put you on hold one more time and ask a friend real quick?

29:56.380 --> 29:56.400
Sure.

29:56.400 --> 29:56.940
Sure, absolutely.

29:56.940 --> 29:57.020
Absolutely.

30:00.380 --> 30:03.140
Dude, I am so winging it.

30:07.600 --> 30:09.260
He's dropping mad docs, though.

30:09.260 --> 30:31.640
Groovy.

30:31.640 --> 30:31.680
Groovy.

30:31.680 --> 30:43.640
Steve Wilson, what the fuck?

30:43.640 --> 30:43.660
Steve Wilson, what the fuck?

30:43.660 --> 30:48.480
You're Chinese.

30:48.480 --> 30:49.100
Who'sVI?

30:49.100 --> 30:49.460
Oi man.

30:49.980 --> 30:50.240
I've sourled.

30:51.380 --> 30:51.540
I've sourled.

30:57.540 --> 30:57.680
It feels like $4.

30:57.680 --> 31:02.340
It's a freaking email address.

31:02.840 --> 31:03.240
Alright.

31:03.240 --> 31:03.480
All right.

31:11.800 --> 31:13.020
Maybe they're tracing me.

31:23.700 --> 31:25.480
Obviously waking up Bill for that email.

31:25.860 --> 31:26.180
Yeah.

31:33.240 --> 31:35.280
All right.

31:35.400 --> 31:35.980
Getting tired.

31:42.600 --> 31:43.640
I missed Max.

31:44.380 --> 31:44.660
Yeah.

31:47.000 --> 31:48.660
Maybe I should three-way the two of them together.

31:53.940 --> 32:00.800
What do you think?

32:00.840 --> 32:01.180
Are we done?

32:03.920 --> 32:04.360
Sure.

32:09.360 --> 32:15.780
I think I can get some more out of him, but damn it.

32:15.780 --> 32:19.860
I think it's proof that Microsoft does not care about bugs.

32:21.340 --> 32:24.120
Well, he did say it's the first time he's ever gotten a bug report.

32:26.000 --> 32:26.420
All right.

32:26.460 --> 32:27.180
Yeah, I'm going to drop.

32:30.340 --> 32:30.760
All right.

32:30.760 --> 32:31.220
You still there?

32:32.000 --> 32:32.260
Mm-hmm.

32:32.260 --> 32:32.960
All right.

32:32.980 --> 32:33.400
You know what?

32:33.680 --> 32:38.300
I'm going to keep this in the craptacular because, A, it filled up some time.

32:38.440 --> 32:39.560
I'll take out the hold music.

32:39.680 --> 32:42.940
I'll at least be nice and take out the ten minutes of hold here and there.

32:43.800 --> 32:45.120
No, see, I think that's the best one.

32:45.340 --> 32:47.240
You know, I just sit there and just, like, you know, just sit.

32:48.500 --> 32:49.120
There's the end.

32:49.260 --> 32:51.180
You just say, we're going to end it with this call, call Microsoft.

32:51.380 --> 32:52.720
We just fade it out into the background.

32:52.860 --> 32:53.760
That's your closing music.

32:53.760 --> 32:56.920
I was going to say, yeah, the closing music is the Microsoft hold music.

32:57.900 --> 33:04.320
But, no, the funny thing, but here's the cool thing about that call, which I still think that that was a successful call, even though we didn't really accomplish.

33:04.320 --> 33:04.760
All right.

33:04.760 --> 33:06.200
First of all, they didn't have anything planned.

33:06.300 --> 33:07.240
I was winging everything.

33:07.880 --> 33:09.740
So, I was making up everything from the beginning.

33:10.160 --> 33:12.100
But this dude's dropping docs.

33:12.780 --> 33:15.500
I mean, he's in a small town just south of Redmond.

33:15.560 --> 33:17.680
He just started recently, blah, blah, blah.

33:17.680 --> 33:23.620
And I was going to further hit him up of what kind of software they use, if they're using SharePoint.

33:23.820 --> 33:27.780
Are they, you know, he's really giving a lot of information there.

33:28.580 --> 33:34.800
So, it was still a pretty fun call.

33:35.100 --> 33:36.860
And we learned that that's the first.

33:37.020 --> 33:41.220
Did you notice, did you see the little thing about how if I needed help, they wouldn't have helped me?

33:41.880 --> 33:42.060
Yeah.

33:42.060 --> 33:42.880
But because I didn't need.

33:42.900 --> 33:44.000
I had to hold the microphone on that one.

33:44.960 --> 33:46.020
That was great.

33:46.020 --> 33:49.260
If nothing else, that one line was worth the whole phone call.

33:49.340 --> 33:50.340
So, I'm going to leave it in for that.

33:50.440 --> 33:53.360
So, that's it for this phone call, such as it was.

33:54.140 --> 33:57.540
And this actually was just us playing around, and I decided to record it.

33:57.560 --> 33:58.860
So, I'm glad I got that one on tape.

33:59.600 --> 33:59.860
Mm-hmm.

34:01.600 --> 34:01.960
Okay.

34:02.060 --> 34:09.940
Now, that that call's over, see, some of the stuff that I consider fun is just the act of winging it as you go along.

34:09.940 --> 34:14.380
And this is one of the greatest things you can do to improve your social engineering skills,

34:14.380 --> 34:19.060
being able to think off the top of your head and just make stuff up and just kind of go with the flow.

34:19.760 --> 34:24.500
And calling numbers like this, I, again, we called to play with the voicemail system.

34:24.600 --> 34:26.000
I did not expect to get a person.

34:26.280 --> 34:30.940
So, once I was kind of put on the spot, it makes you kind of start thinking,

34:31.160 --> 34:35.080
makes you start trying to get information from people, just try to talk to them,

34:35.140 --> 34:38.280
see what kind of docs they're willing to drop and stuff like that.

34:38.280 --> 34:39.520
So, there is a lesson in that.

34:39.580 --> 34:43.560
We didn't come up with any secret, top secret Microsoft whatever,

34:43.780 --> 34:47.060
but, you know, we found out some information about the person answering the phone,

34:47.520 --> 34:49.400
found out the operating system they're using.

34:49.600 --> 34:50.860
I could have probably pushed for more.

34:50.940 --> 34:51.940
I just got tired of waiting.

34:53.100 --> 34:54.840
So, there is a lesson to be learned here,

34:54.880 --> 34:57.080
and that is to just call some of these numbers and talk to people

34:57.080 --> 35:00.860
just for the simple fact of practicing your social skills,

35:00.980 --> 35:02.200
your social engineering skills.

35:02.200 --> 35:05.620
There's absolutely a viable way of getting better at it.

35:08.060 --> 35:10.980
That's going to just about do it for the phone calls tonight,

35:11.220 --> 35:18.860
but I did want to take just a minute here towards the end to, well, rant a little bit,

35:18.940 --> 35:26.660
not too much, but just on the whole subject of the big bells and the phone companies in general.

35:27.160 --> 35:30.800
And, yeah, I know that as hackers a lot of times we sound like a broken record

35:30.800 --> 35:33.580
covering this topic over and over and over and over again

35:33.580 --> 35:35.240
about how much we hate the phone companies,

35:35.740 --> 35:38.480
but I wanted to put it into perspective exactly why.

35:40.180 --> 35:42.160
My local telco is Bell South.

35:43.320 --> 35:46.080
And, actually, before I go too much, let's back up a little bit.

35:46.080 --> 35:50.600
There's something that happened in 1996 called the Telecommunications Act.

35:51.460 --> 35:56.120
And one of the goals of this was to have broken up all the big bells

35:56.120 --> 36:00.280
and made it a level playing field so that other people could come and compete

36:00.280 --> 36:06.480
in the market of offering you phone service, and local phone service specifically,

36:07.220 --> 36:08.400
among some other things.

36:08.500 --> 36:10.720
But that was one of the good things out of it.

36:11.540 --> 36:13.820
There were some bad parts, just like everything else,

36:13.860 --> 36:14.960
there's some good parts and bad parts.

36:15.020 --> 36:19.020
But that was one of the good things, that it was breaking up all these big bells,

36:19.100 --> 36:20.620
these giant monopolies, as they were.

36:21.500 --> 36:24.240
Well, that's fine in theory.

36:24.240 --> 36:29.840
That sounds like a good idea, but what happened is the only people that were still able to play

36:29.840 --> 36:31.760
were other big bells.

36:31.900 --> 36:34.980
They really just opened up their market to the other bell companies,

36:35.180 --> 36:38.180
so Bell South was able to spread out a little bit more.

36:38.840 --> 36:44.400
And SBC and Verizon and these other places were able to really just kind of move around

36:44.400 --> 36:45.540
their territory a little bit.

36:45.820 --> 36:49.620
You saw a couple small companies, like there was one called Supratelecom,

36:49.620 --> 36:54.600
that tried to get in on that kind of business, but they have to lease lines

36:54.600 --> 37:00.980
from the big telephone companies, so they end up not basically at the will

37:00.980 --> 37:03.360
of the telephone company and what prices they give them,

37:03.400 --> 37:06.860
and if they don't give them a reasonable price, they can't then turn around and resell it

37:06.860 --> 37:10.640
and give you a better price to the consumer and undercut Bell South,

37:10.640 --> 37:16.740
because Bell South controls the lines and makes that not exactly easy to do

37:16.740 --> 37:19.760
as it might sound.

37:19.760 --> 37:24.260
So, all that's happened is that every time a company comes along that does look like

37:24.260 --> 37:29.340
they have a chance of maybe getting a foothold or maybe being able to take some market share

37:29.340 --> 37:34.760
away from these bells, all that ends up happening is those big bells end up buying

37:34.760 --> 37:36.100
those companies up anyway.

37:38.080 --> 37:44.820
Companies that started offering DSL, trying to go for the ISP market and people who wanted

37:44.820 --> 37:49.520
the high-speed access before the bells were able to roll it out to their consumers,

37:50.620 --> 37:54.780
all that the bells did was buy that company up and therefore buy their customer base,

37:54.840 --> 37:57.880
and basically they did all the work for them, and then they'd just come along and buy the

37:57.880 --> 37:58.620
company up later.

37:59.080 --> 38:03.200
And the people that formed and owned these companies, you know, it's kind of not,

38:03.300 --> 38:05.900
you can't really point fingers at them saying they sold out or anything.

38:05.900 --> 38:09.580
When you throw this huge amount of money at them for their company, I mean,

38:09.640 --> 38:12.160
that's what they're in business for is to make money and live comfortably,

38:12.160 --> 38:18.460
so I don't really blame them so much. So what basically has happened is by breaking it up once,

38:18.900 --> 38:23.740
they ended up buying each other back up again, so you're back at the same monopoly status that you

38:23.740 --> 38:28.800
were before this all began, and on top of it all, as if that's not enough, it's all government

38:28.800 --> 38:34.800
regulated. The FCC wants to come in and dictate what can and can't be done and what they can get

38:34.800 --> 38:40.560
away with, and they always side on the side of the big businesses. They always do in every

38:40.560 --> 38:44.660
circumstance, but this one just as well. And if you look at your phone bill, you'll see the FCC

38:44.660 --> 38:50.740
regulations, FCC charges, FCC this and that. So as you are going to hear in this upcoming call,

38:50.820 --> 38:57.120
the last call I'm going to play here, it's just these ridiculous amounts of fees. In some cases,

38:57.220 --> 39:03.760
like mine, the total cost of all the fees ends up being higher, higher than the cost of the actual

39:03.760 --> 39:10.340
phone line itself. FCC fee, and then not only does the FCC implement its own fees,

39:11.100 --> 39:17.180
but they also authorize and allow these phone companies to get cost recovery fees, and they

39:17.180 --> 39:20.520
authorize what they can and can't charge the consumers, and they think that they're

39:20.520 --> 39:25.860
regulating the phone companies by doing this, when in actuality they're giving them so much leeway and

39:25.860 --> 39:30.500
so much freedom that they're allowing them to pass these charges on to us. For example,

39:30.500 --> 39:35.500
networking charge. Oh, well, the internet's taken off, so we feel that they should be able to recover

39:35.500 --> 39:41.740
their money or the cost of the bandwidth and having to put more lines in. Now, wait a minute.

39:42.140 --> 39:48.880
How is it that they're able to make us pay for those lines to be put in, as well as continue to

39:48.880 --> 39:55.160
pay the same price or increasing prices at the same time? So they're double dipping out of both ends

39:55.160 --> 40:00.200
of it. They're raising the prices on it. I'm paying for a Bell South line, which are, again,

40:00.200 --> 40:04.060
in most cases is already in place. It's a small amount of equipment they have to put in at the

40:04.060 --> 40:09.580
switch for that kind of stuff, you know. So it's already in place. Very little that's needed in

40:09.580 --> 40:13.920
most cases, of course, there are exceptions, to implement that. So why should I have to then pay

40:13.920 --> 40:18.700
a network recovery fee if I'm already paying 40, 50, whatever you're paying for your DSL line?

40:19.440 --> 40:24.340
How can you have it both ways? How can you take three, four, five dollars off of my phone bill for

40:24.340 --> 40:30.640
that and pay for DSL? And then the double standard there is even if you don't have DSL, you're still

40:30.640 --> 40:36.780
paying this network access fee because it helps pay for the infrastructure. That's their logic

40:36.780 --> 40:43.020
behind it. And that's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And that's just one example. You also

40:43.020 --> 40:50.540
have franchise fees. Now, wait a minute. How are you going to pass a franchise fee on to me? You've got

40:50.540 --> 40:54.280
a franchise. That's the way you run your business. And you're telling me that I'm going to have to pay

40:54.280 --> 41:00.900
a franchise fee to, what, grace me with the presence of your service? I mean, I'm paying to have the

41:00.900 --> 41:07.000
privilege of being raped? Is that pretty much what I'm understanding here? They're allowed to get a

41:07.000 --> 41:13.800
certain cost recovery fee and the FCC approves it. So it's like the problem here is the FCC. If you don't

41:13.800 --> 41:19.940
understand, if you're not reading between the lines, the FCC allows them to get away with far, far too much

41:19.940 --> 41:25.080
and it absolutely is ridiculous how much they charge the consumers and what little service we

41:25.080 --> 41:34.400
actually get for it. That's why right now in 2004, the end of 2004 and 2005, 2004 was a huge

41:34.400 --> 41:40.520
breakthrough, a huge year for VoIP or voice over IP. Now, I'm not going to talk down because I know

41:40.520 --> 41:46.160
most of the people listening to this show know what voice over IP is. But I do want to take a moment to

41:46.160 --> 41:51.680
try to convince people and explain to people how incredibly wonderful of an option this is for

41:51.680 --> 41:59.400
multiple reasons. First and foremost, for your typical everyday home consumer that has broadband.

41:59.760 --> 42:03.400
Unfortunately, I have to narrow it down to that. If you do not have broadband, if you're a typical home

42:03.400 --> 42:08.640
consumer who doesn't even have either, doesn't have internet access and want it or just has dial-up,

42:09.080 --> 42:13.200
unfortunately, you're not going to be able to benefit from this. But for those of you who have a

42:13.200 --> 42:19.380
cable modem or even DSL, in some cases, it might pay off a little bit. But especially anybody with

42:19.380 --> 42:25.720
a cable modem, there's no reason for you not to move to voice over IP. So if that, if you fall into

42:25.720 --> 42:31.360
that category, listen very closely. There are several companies out there right now, Vonage,

42:31.800 --> 42:37.360
Voice Pulse, Packet 8, so many that, I mean, you can go look up, do Google search for VoIP and you'll

42:37.360 --> 42:42.460
find a lot of providers. But it doesn't matter which one you choose. They're all pretty similar and

42:42.460 --> 42:47.080
their pricing plans are pretty similar in the features that they offer you. These companies,

42:47.320 --> 42:51.600
by using the bandwidth that you have for the internet, which is the same infrastructure that

42:51.600 --> 42:56.440
the phone company uses, but the phone company doesn't generally offer you VoIP, or if they do,

42:56.580 --> 43:00.460
it's at the same rate they offer or very slightly cheaper than the regular rates that they offer,

43:00.520 --> 43:07.620
so it's not worthwhile. But for around $25 to $35 price range a month, you can get a phone with

43:07.620 --> 43:13.740
unlimited long distance calls. That's not even something you get in your local phone package.

43:13.840 --> 43:18.120
That's something you have to have an extra long distance carrier, which again is another charge.

43:18.200 --> 43:22.620
If you don't have a long distance carrier, they charge you per month for that. And the FCC allows

43:22.620 --> 43:26.120
them to do that. So even if you don't make calls, you have to pay for the privilege of not being able

43:26.120 --> 43:30.420
to make long distance calls. That's ridiculous. But I digress. Back to the voice over IP option.

43:31.080 --> 43:37.640
With voice over IP, you get every feature that you can imagine. Fantastic features with your phone

43:37.640 --> 43:42.140
service. Stuff that would have added up and added up by all your local telco companies, and it would

43:42.140 --> 43:48.060
have been a $40, $50, $60 phone bill just for the features alone. Total choice, I think Bell South

43:48.060 --> 43:54.000
calls. It's like $45 a month. And that doesn't include long distance. So with VoIP, you're getting all of

43:54.000 --> 44:00.560
those features. Three-way calling, call transfer, call forwarding, forwarding your phone line,

44:00.680 --> 44:05.660
automatic voicemail that you can check from anywhere, call ID blocking, telemarketer blocking,

44:05.840 --> 44:11.180
everything you can possibly imagine offered for that same price. No extra charges.

44:12.220 --> 44:19.700
Secondly, unlimited long distance inside the United States. Or again, I unfortunately can't speak to the

44:19.700 --> 44:25.160
international. I know the international rates that they offer are far cheaper than any other.

44:25.560 --> 44:30.020
So it does pay off for international listeners as well. But I can only speak directly to the United

44:30.020 --> 44:37.480
States. I can now make unlimited calls anywhere in the United States. So that, depending on how many

44:37.480 --> 44:42.120
calls you would have made, you know, you're taking a phone bill that was, say, $45 for all the features,

44:42.120 --> 44:47.080
plus whatever long distance calls. So maybe $60, $70, upwards of $100 for some people,

44:47.720 --> 44:56.920
still for that same price of $25 to $35 a month. It's absolutely a no-lose situation. There's no

44:56.920 --> 45:01.800
reason why anybody with a cable modem shouldn't at least investigate and look into this and maybe give

45:01.800 --> 45:07.400
it a shot. It doesn't cost, you know, you have to buy a small piece of equipment, very easy to install

45:07.400 --> 45:12.500
on the client end, hook it up to your home phone line, you plug it right into the same phone you

45:12.500 --> 45:16.080
were using with your local phone company. There's no difference. You get a dial tone,

45:16.400 --> 45:20.460
your dial number is just the same. You can't tell a difference from the other phone that you were

45:20.460 --> 45:28.280
using. The only drawback to it is if your cable connection or high-speed connection, whatever you

45:28.280 --> 45:34.260
happen to use, is unreliable, if it goes down, or if you lose power, you do lose your phone line.

45:34.260 --> 45:39.720
That is a fact, and there's no denying that. But you've got to think to yourself, how often does

45:39.720 --> 45:45.200
that really happen, A? And B, if that really happens, say a hurricane or a storm, we have

45:45.200 --> 45:50.420
hurricanes down here in Florida, guess what? The phone usually goes out too anyway. So it's not

45:50.420 --> 45:54.780
really a bunch of a disadvantage. The same thing is going to happen in both circumstances. The power

45:54.780 --> 45:59.560
goes out, that's a different story. But even then, you will still have, your voicemail will still be

45:59.560 --> 46:03.820
working, you'll still be able to get your messages when it does come back up, and hopefully you have

46:03.820 --> 46:09.120
maybe a cell phone option for a backup plan or for emergencies and things like that. So the moral

46:09.120 --> 46:14.880
of the story is, investigate VoIP. If you have a cable modem from your cable company and are still

46:14.880 --> 46:22.900
using your local phone company, stop. Very simply. There's a ton of other features and a ton of other

46:22.900 --> 46:27.920
cool things you can do with voice over IP, as far as interfacing it with a computer, interfacing it with

46:27.920 --> 46:32.940
an asterisk box of your own. You get so much more control. So many things that you can do that have

46:32.940 --> 46:37.740
been gone into, we've discussed before, you can go back and listen to the episode on setting up an

46:37.740 --> 46:43.100
asterisk box with Not Theory. Go back and listen to any and all of the episodes of Default Radio

46:43.100 --> 46:48.400
at defaultradio.com, and you'll hear all kinds of great stuff along those lines. But as a general note,

46:48.800 --> 46:52.900
this is directed at those listeners out there who have not investigated it or thought about it yet.

46:52.900 --> 46:59.880
Now is the time to do it. So I finally took the plunge. When I went to a cable modem fairly

46:59.880 --> 47:05.380
recently, I got rid of my DSL from Bell South, which was the first big step. Now I've gone voice

47:05.380 --> 47:11.860
over IP with some cordless phones in my house, and it's working wonderfully. So this next call that

47:11.860 --> 47:18.460
you're about to hear is me calling Bell South, a momentous occasion here, a big long overdue thing,

47:18.500 --> 47:22.820
because I hate Bell South. I think they're incompetent beyond belief, and you'll even hear a little bit

47:22.820 --> 47:31.680
out on this call, and canceled my home phone line. So this is that call, and this is going to be our

47:31.680 --> 47:36.340
last call of the night, and then I'm going to do some music at the end. So take a listen to this,

47:36.600 --> 47:42.480
and I hope you really listen, take to heart what I said. The time of voice over IP is now.

47:42.480 --> 47:51.740
Okay, we're going to call Bell South now, my local phone company, because they are the suck-sore. I am

47:51.740 --> 47:58.880
going to cancel my home phone service. I'm tired of paying 20-something dollars, 26 dollars I think

47:58.880 --> 48:05.580
it is a month for what should be 11 dollars and six cents is what my phone bill is. I have no extra

48:05.580 --> 48:11.200
features, no nothing, just a complete rock-bottom phone. And because they're allowed to get away with

48:11.200 --> 48:20.000
charging franchise fees, and cost recovery fees, and FCC fees, and networking fees, they somehow are

48:20.000 --> 48:25.400
allowed to get away with it. They are basically a government-subsidized, government-accepted

48:25.400 --> 48:31.960
monopoly. So I now have an option with VoIP, and so do you. So I've switched over to VoIP,

48:31.960 --> 48:38.960
VoIP, and I'm going to call right now and have Bell South cancel my phone line. A momentous occasion

48:38.960 --> 48:45.960
here.

48:45.960 --> 48:49.960
Welcome to Right Touch Service, the Bell South automated information system. You will need

48:49.960 --> 48:55.960
your four-digit PIN located on the first page of your bill, or the last four digits of the

48:55.960 --> 49:02.960
social security number associated with your account to make arrangements to pay your bill or place orders. To

49:02.960 --> 49:08.960
use our automated system, press 1 on your touch-tone phone now. If you need instructions, press 7 now.

49:08.960 --> 49:15.960
Please enter the area code and telephone number of the account you are calling about.

49:15.960 --> 49:23.960
Please re-enter the area code and telephone number of the account you are calling about.

49:23.960 --> 49:38.960
Please re-enter the area code and telephone number of the account you are calling about.

49:38.960 --> 49:40.960
Oh, for crying out loud!

49:40.960 --> 49:42.960
Then press pound.

49:42.960 --> 49:44.960
Crappy service.

49:44.960 --> 49:50.960
You have entered...

49:50.960 --> 49:52.960
Look at all that static in the background.

49:52.960 --> 49:55.960
If this is correct, press 1.

49:55.960 --> 50:00.960
If not, please re-enter the area code and telephone number you are calling about.

50:00.960 --> 50:02.960
Then press pound.

50:02.960 --> 50:05.960
And look, it goes away when she's not talking. It's something on their end.

50:05.960 --> 50:11.960
Please hold while I access your record.

50:11.960 --> 50:14.960
Please choose from the main menu as follows.

50:14.960 --> 50:18.960
For inquiries about your bill, press 1.

50:18.960 --> 50:25.960
For descriptions, rates, or instructions on BellSouth services and features, such as memory call, press 2.

50:25.960 --> 50:31.960
To disconnect your entire service, or temporarily cancel or restore your service, press 3.

50:32.960 --> 50:33.960
Boop!

50:33.960 --> 50:38.960
Please enter your PIN or the last four digits of the social security number on your account.

50:38.960 --> 50:40.960
Then press pound.

50:40.960 --> 50:46.960
To permanently disconnect your service, press 1.

50:46.960 --> 50:51.960
To temporarily cancel your telephone service, press 2.

50:51.960 --> 50:57.960
To return to the main menu, you have chosen to permanently disconnect your telephone service.

50:57.960 --> 51:02.960
This means you will receive a final bill and you will no longer have a telephone account.

51:02.960 --> 51:05.960
To continue, press 1.

51:05.960 --> 51:06.960
To choose another ordering option, press 2.

51:06.960 --> 51:07.960
To end your call, hang up.

51:07.960 --> 51:08.960
To choose another ordering option, press 2.

51:08.960 --> 51:09.960
To end your call, hang up.

51:09.960 --> 51:12.960
To end your call, hang up.

51:12.960 --> 51:13.960
Beep.

51:13.960 --> 51:14.960
Beep.

51:14.960 --> 51:15.960
Beep.

51:15.960 --> 51:16.960
I said 1, you retard.

51:16.960 --> 51:17.960
Beep.

51:17.960 --> 51:18.960
Beep.

51:18.960 --> 51:19.960
Oh, for crying.

51:19.960 --> 51:20.960
Now they're gonna talk me out.

51:20.960 --> 51:21.960
Beep.

51:21.960 --> 51:22.960
Beep.

51:22.960 --> 51:23.960
Beep.

51:23.960 --> 51:24.960
Beep.

51:24.960 --> 51:25.960
Beep.

51:25.960 --> 51:26.960
Beep.

51:26.960 --> 51:27.960
Beep.

51:27.960 --> 51:28.960
Beep.

51:28.960 --> 51:29.960
Beep.

51:29.960 --> 51:30.960
Beep.

51:30.960 --> 51:31.960
Beep.

51:31.960 --> 51:32.960
Beep.

51:32.960 --> 51:33.960
Beep.

51:33.960 --> 51:34.960
Beep.

51:34.960 --> 51:35.960
Beep.

51:36.960 --> 51:37.960
Beep.

51:37.960 --> 51:38.960
Beep.

51:38.960 --> 51:39.960
Beep.

51:39.960 --> 51:40.960
Beep.

51:40.960 --> 51:41.960
Beep.

51:41.960 --> 51:42.960
Beep.

51:42.960 --> 51:45.960
Beep.

51:45.960 --> 51:46.960
Beep.

51:46.960 --> 51:47.960
Beep.

51:47.960 --> 51:48.960
Beep.

51:48.960 --> 51:49.960
Beep.

51:49.960 --> 51:50.960
Beep.

51:50.960 --> 51:57.480
Yeah, I just went through the automated system, though.

51:57.560 --> 51:58.720
I was just canceling my number.

51:59.880 --> 52:01.460
You want to disconnect your number?

52:01.620 --> 52:01.960
Right.

52:02.480 --> 52:03.480
Okay, I can do that for you.

52:03.500 --> 52:05.080
What's your area code and telephone number?

52:05.860 --> 52:12.340
It's 810-223-0003.

52:13.040 --> 52:14.620
And who I have the pleasure of speaking with today?

52:14.960 --> 52:16.300
Call me Dangler.

52:16.920 --> 52:18.040
Fuck, Dangler.

52:18.600 --> 52:20.300
Okay, I'm better off the one more.

52:20.300 --> 52:20.980
I'll pull up your account.

52:21.060 --> 52:22.460
We can have this disconnected for you.

52:22.600 --> 52:22.960
Great.

52:23.180 --> 52:24.080
Are you moving?

52:24.220 --> 52:25.640
Are you not satisfied with your service?

52:25.960 --> 52:27.660
I'm not satisfied with the service.

52:28.300 --> 52:29.620
Just switch to a different option.

52:30.700 --> 52:31.080
Okay.

52:34.140 --> 52:38.160
Was it a long distance, or you just weren't getting the price you had agreed upon?

52:38.580 --> 52:44.340
Just I have a rock-bottom phone that's, what, $10 or $11 a month,

52:44.340 --> 52:49.080
and it costs me $20-something a month because of all the fees and cost recovery of this

52:49.080 --> 52:52.220
and franchise fee that, and I'm tired of getting feed to death.

52:52.280 --> 52:53.620
The fees cost more than the line.

52:54.540 --> 52:54.940
Okay.

52:55.340 --> 53:00.800
So, and I have no features and no, you know, so I went with a VoIP option,

53:00.960 --> 53:02.540
so I just don't need the phone anymore.

53:02.540 --> 53:04.440
Okay, that's not a problem.

53:05.180 --> 53:06.040
All right, let's see.

53:07.160 --> 53:08.920
Can you verify your social security number for me?

53:09.200 --> 53:13.300
Yeah, it's 337-47-1337.

53:14.020 --> 53:14.420
Okay.

53:16.020 --> 53:19.920
Probably getting a lot of these calls lately with Voice over IP taking off the way it is.

53:19.920 --> 53:22.680
Um, not really.

53:22.940 --> 53:23.280
No?

53:23.560 --> 53:24.360
Not really, no.

53:24.700 --> 53:24.900
Hmm.

53:25.420 --> 53:25.960
Not really.

53:26.520 --> 53:26.740
No.

53:26.860 --> 53:32.660
I actually, when it first came out, I thought we would have more calls, but honestly, not really.

53:32.800 --> 53:34.220
I'm actually shocked, but yeah.

53:34.480 --> 53:34.680
Hmm.

53:36.480 --> 53:36.880
Okay.

53:37.360 --> 53:38.640
Um, it seems to be all set.

53:38.700 --> 53:40.300
Will we disconnect you before you want it today?

53:40.960 --> 53:41.700
Um, yeah.

53:41.780 --> 53:44.380
What's this, how's this going to happen then?

53:44.420 --> 53:46.540
Is it just prorated for the partial month?

53:46.540 --> 53:50.540
Because your billing cycle is from the 11th of every month through the 10th,

53:50.540 --> 53:53.180
so they're going to re-bill you from the 11th through the 20th.

53:53.540 --> 53:55.220
So, your bill right now is 2088.

53:55.360 --> 53:58.700
I would wait until you receive your final bill next month and make that payment then.

53:59.120 --> 54:00.280
Just make one final payment.

54:00.360 --> 54:00.540
Okay.

54:00.640 --> 54:01.000
Right.

54:01.000 --> 54:05.720
Now, um, just so I'm clear, though, I was told I had called and asked before,

54:06.320 --> 54:10.400
um, even with canceling the phone service, if I keep a phone plugged into that phone jack,

54:10.440 --> 54:12.480
I can still call 911 if I need to?

54:13.660 --> 54:15.100
Um, you should be able to do that, yes.

54:15.600 --> 54:15.960
Well.

54:15.960 --> 54:18.300
Um, should or, is that, I'm sorry?

54:18.480 --> 54:19.460
Should or will?

54:20.040 --> 54:20.440
Um.

54:20.520 --> 54:21.080
It's kind of important.

54:21.260 --> 54:21.720
Let me see.

54:21.980 --> 54:22.960
Barely one moment.

54:23.100 --> 54:23.460
Sure.

54:23.660 --> 54:24.040
Please hold.

54:28.920 --> 54:29.920
Dum bum.

54:34.540 --> 54:38.340
I'll save you about eight and a half minutes of hold music and bring you back in when the

54:38.340 --> 54:39.600
operator came back on the line.

54:42.740 --> 54:43.300
I'm a dog.

54:43.500 --> 54:44.060
Yes, sir.

54:44.200 --> 54:45.140
I think I'm being so patient.

54:45.140 --> 54:49.520
Um, there's no way of knowing until the line is disconnected and it's still not guaranteed

54:49.520 --> 54:52.120
once it's disconnected if you'll have a dial to do 911 or not.

54:53.280 --> 54:58.600
But I thought that's why we're charged a monthly fee for 911 services because it was state.

54:58.600 --> 54:59.040
When it's active, yes.

54:59.240 --> 55:03.880
But when it's state required is so that it can be sent to everyone's house regardless of

55:03.880 --> 55:04.680
whether they have phone service.

55:04.740 --> 55:06.100
I thought that was a federal mandate.

55:06.560 --> 55:06.840
No.

55:06.840 --> 55:12.780
So, you're telling me you can't guarantee me that I'll be able to call 911 through that

55:12.780 --> 55:13.680
phone line?

55:15.220 --> 55:15.480
Correct.

55:16.540 --> 55:17.500
There's no guarantee.

55:17.500 --> 55:17.560
Guarantee.

55:19.480 --> 55:19.840
Wow.

55:19.960 --> 55:21.260
And that's the official word, huh?

55:21.580 --> 55:22.080
No guarantee.

55:22.880 --> 55:23.920
No, there's no guarantee.

55:25.320 --> 55:25.680
Wow.

55:25.800 --> 55:28.040
That is very interesting.

55:29.220 --> 55:29.580
Huh.

55:30.960 --> 55:31.480
All right.

55:31.540 --> 55:35.880
Well, I guess let's just hope I don't have a situation where I have to call 911 then and...

55:35.880 --> 55:40.020
Well, hopefully we won't have any problems with that, hopefully.

55:40.720 --> 55:41.020
Yep.

55:41.740 --> 55:42.240
All right.

55:42.440 --> 55:44.140
And I guess that's it then.

55:44.160 --> 55:44.540
Are we done?

55:45.020 --> 55:45.540
Yeah, we're done.

55:45.580 --> 55:48.020
I'm really surprised that you say you haven't had more calls.

55:48.160 --> 55:48.740
I'm just...

55:48.740 --> 55:50.000
The price is just so different.

55:50.120 --> 55:52.820
I don't see why more people haven't switched to voice over IP.

55:53.740 --> 55:55.940
But you haven't gotten, like, memos or anything?

55:56.860 --> 55:59.360
No increased call volume of disconnects, huh?

55:59.920 --> 56:00.280
Nothing.

56:00.680 --> 56:01.040
Wow.

56:01.820 --> 56:02.580
Very interesting.

56:03.140 --> 56:03.380
All right.

56:03.400 --> 56:04.600
Well, thank you very much for your time.

56:04.700 --> 56:05.420
I appreciate it.

56:05.420 --> 56:07.740
And I hope you come out of denial soon.

56:08.020 --> 56:08.660
You have a great day.

56:08.720 --> 56:09.140
You too.

56:09.520 --> 56:09.860
Bye-bye.

56:14.460 --> 56:14.900
Okay.

56:15.020 --> 56:19.240
So after that little cancellation with Bell South, canceling my home phone service,

56:19.900 --> 56:22.220
I got a little conflicting information there.

56:22.220 --> 56:27.300
I was told before that I would have 911 service no matter what, if I unplug the phone or not.

56:27.680 --> 56:33.040
But then this gentleman seems to believe that I will not get 911, or they couldn't guarantee.

56:33.260 --> 56:34.780
They didn't know that I would get 911.

56:35.420 --> 56:43.960
So I plugged my phone back in to the actual Bell South line, that is, the Bell South phone

56:43.960 --> 56:46.420
jack, to see what kind of response I get.

56:46.420 --> 56:51.020
So I'm going to call the rejection hotline that we called earlier.

56:51.020 --> 57:04.120
And you will hear that I get an interesting message, and I don't know if this further confirms or further confuses the matter.

57:04.120 --> 57:14.140
But when I dial a number from my canceled line, your call cannot be completed as dialed.

57:14.220 --> 57:16.520
If you dial the five-digit code, it is changed.

57:16.840 --> 57:20.140
Please redial, adding a one and a zero before the five-digit code.

57:20.140 --> 57:23.400
Or for assistance, contact the carrier you are trying to use.

57:27.840 --> 57:28.320
Interesting.

57:28.540 --> 57:30.200
So I'm going to try to dial a local number.

57:30.200 --> 57:50.360
You can only dial 911 from this line.

57:50.540 --> 57:56.380
To reach Bell South or another local service provider, you must call from another location.

57:56.380 --> 58:00.380
So there you go.

58:00.660 --> 58:05.300
If I try to dial a long-distance number, it tries to do something routing-wise.

58:05.420 --> 58:06.600
I don't know what.

58:07.020 --> 58:10.400
And if I try to dial a local number, which does require 10-digit dialing,

58:10.720 --> 58:14.040
I get the 911 as the only number that can be dialed.

58:14.040 --> 58:18.100
So I don't know if that confirms that we will have 911 service or not.

58:18.680 --> 58:21.020
So I just thought I'd share that with the listeners.

58:22.260 --> 58:26.420
Nobody at Bell South seems to know what they're doing or be able to give a straight answer.

58:26.840 --> 58:28.400
And that's why I left.

58:30.480 --> 58:33.280
And that is going to do it for this edition,

58:33.280 --> 58:38.940
our third edition of the Binary Revolution Radio Telephonic Craptacular.

58:39.260 --> 58:41.220
And I do think it lived up to its name.

58:41.700 --> 58:43.160
Emphasis on crap.

58:44.040 --> 58:48.120
So these are getting tougher and tougher to do every time I come along.

58:48.280 --> 58:50.100
Tougher to come up with more material for this.

58:50.720 --> 58:56.420
I don't know that people like these any more or less than doing just a normal show.

58:57.500 --> 59:01.280
So I don't know what the future of the Telephonic Craptaculars are.

59:01.600 --> 59:05.820
I don't know if I'm going to do them at all or still do them every 25th like I've been doing

59:05.820 --> 59:07.740
or maybe just randomly insert them.

59:08.120 --> 59:09.860
I have no idea what the future is.

59:09.860 --> 59:11.120
So, you know what?

59:11.320 --> 59:11.900
Email me.

59:12.400 --> 59:13.600
Let me know what you think.

59:13.700 --> 59:14.660
Like them, don't like them.

59:14.700 --> 59:15.440
What you prefer I do.

59:15.480 --> 59:16.720
A regular show this week.

59:17.360 --> 59:20.240
Some other kind of, you know, I'm open to whatever.

59:20.980 --> 59:23.080
And to get in touch with us, of course, you can email us.

59:23.080 --> 59:25.840
It's radio at BinRev.com.

59:27.460 --> 59:28.480
Shouts this week.

59:29.000 --> 59:31.120
I'm not going to single anybody out.

59:31.620 --> 59:34.860
Obviously, I always give shouts to the DDP.

59:35.540 --> 59:37.520
And this is the Christmas season, though.

59:37.620 --> 59:39.040
I'm not singling anybody out.

59:39.120 --> 59:43.220
I'm giving shouts to everybody who's been a part of the Binary Revolution.

59:43.220 --> 59:47.620
Whether you've come to the website one day, looked at it, and left, if you're a regular

59:47.620 --> 59:52.960
listener of the show, if you're someone who emails me and contributes, works on projects

59:52.960 --> 59:57.780
with us, gives us feedback, is a regular in the forums, you heard of us from word of mouth

59:57.780 --> 01:00:01.500
and you've never even visited the site, you're getting this through our podcast or something

01:00:01.500 --> 01:00:02.100
like that.

01:00:02.660 --> 01:00:03.180
You know what?

01:00:03.180 --> 01:00:07.720
It's the holidays, so happy holidays to each and every one of you out there.

01:00:08.420 --> 01:00:15.040
And I'm going to close today with some music that I got from Battery Man.

01:00:15.480 --> 01:00:19.020
Sent me a great, just a perfect song, and a song that I like anyway.

01:00:19.180 --> 01:00:23.800
This is a play off of the song by Afro Man, because I got high.

01:00:24.000 --> 01:00:27.000
And this is Afro Man Christmas Song.

01:00:27.660 --> 01:00:32.460
So we're going to close out with that parody of the original song.

01:00:33.180 --> 01:00:35.840
And that is probably it.

01:00:36.060 --> 01:00:40.780
Again, if you didn't hear last week, we announced that DDP Hack Radio is up and working.

01:00:41.440 --> 01:00:46.440
And you can click on that and listen to that 24-7, all hacking content, all the time.

01:00:47.140 --> 01:00:51.580
Click on the binrev.com page, you'll see a link to the radio, and that'll fire right up

01:00:51.580 --> 01:00:52.160
in your browser.

01:00:52.780 --> 01:00:54.280
And you'll hear constant stuff.

01:00:54.280 --> 01:00:56.240
We have regularly scheduled shows.

01:00:56.700 --> 01:01:00.200
And you can look at the schedule on radio.binrev.com and click on Schedule.

01:01:00.200 --> 01:01:05.140
You'll see the current schedule, which is a work in progress, adding and moving shows

01:01:05.140 --> 01:01:08.420
around as we speak, but pretty close to being finalized now.

01:01:09.160 --> 01:01:13.080
Lots of great stuff that you, some of it you won't find anywhere else.

01:01:13.080 --> 01:01:15.140
And that's it.

01:01:15.240 --> 01:01:17.080
So again, thank everybody for listening.

01:01:17.420 --> 01:01:20.700
And we will see everybody next week, next year.

01:01:21.360 --> 01:01:24.900
Same hack time, same hack channel.

01:01:24.900 --> 01:01:36.760
Hey man, just roll me another Christmas blunt.

01:01:38.680 --> 01:01:42.300
I was going to trim the tree until I got high.

01:01:43.740 --> 01:01:48.140
I was going to buy you an EVD, but then I got high.

01:01:48.140 --> 01:02:16.920
She's sleeping at LAX, and I know why.

01:02:16.920 --> 01:02:22.680
Hey man, cause I got high, because I got high, because I got high.

01:02:22.940 --> 01:02:25.040
Yo, it's going to buy you an EVD, because we're going to buy you an EVD.

01:02:25.040 --> 01:02:28.600
I was going to send you a card, but I got high.

01:02:30.120 --> 01:02:34.380
Put a lighted reindeer in my yard, but I got high.

01:02:36.260 --> 01:02:40.160
My jack-o'-lantern's frozen, it's still outside.

01:02:40.880 --> 01:02:45.800
Hey, hey, cause I get high, because I get high, cause I get high.

01:02:45.800 --> 01:02:48.120
Ba-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

01:02:48.140 --> 01:02:51.680
I was going to clean the chimney flue, but then I got high.

01:02:52.120 --> 01:02:52.960
No, you wouldn't.

01:02:53.480 --> 01:02:57.760
I was going to roll up a fatty tube for the fat guy.

01:02:58.400 --> 01:02:59.000
Don't forget me.

01:02:59.000 --> 01:03:01.800
I drank his milk and cookies

01:03:01.800 --> 01:03:03.220
And I know why

01:03:03.220 --> 01:03:04.020
He flies

01:03:04.020 --> 01:03:05.960
Cause I got high

01:03:05.960 --> 01:03:07.460
Because I got high

01:03:07.460 --> 01:03:09.400
Because I got high

01:03:09.400 --> 01:03:11.140
Here we go

01:03:11.140 --> 01:03:13.260
I was gonna go to Midnight Mass

01:03:13.260 --> 01:03:14.780
While I was high

01:03:14.780 --> 01:03:19.180
I was gonna sit there and pass some gas

01:03:19.180 --> 01:03:20.840
While I was high

01:03:20.840 --> 01:03:24.820
Now I'm burning hell

01:03:24.820 --> 01:03:26.420
And I know why

01:03:26.420 --> 01:03:29.140
Cause I got high

01:03:29.140 --> 01:03:30.720
Because I got high

01:03:30.720 --> 01:03:32.420
Because I got high

01:03:32.420 --> 01:03:36.480
I was gonna kiss my grandma's face

01:03:36.480 --> 01:03:38.060
And then I got high

01:03:38.060 --> 01:03:39.800
Maybe y'all should get a room

01:03:39.800 --> 01:03:42.200
I was gonna eat her fruitcake too

01:03:42.200 --> 01:03:44.000
Then I got high

01:03:44.000 --> 01:03:48.000
It tasted pretty nasty

01:03:48.000 --> 01:03:49.580
But I don't mind

01:03:49.580 --> 01:03:50.520
Hey

01:03:50.520 --> 01:03:52.220
Because I was high

01:03:52.220 --> 01:03:53.820
Because I was high

01:03:53.820 --> 01:03:55.200
Because I was high

01:03:55.200 --> 01:03:56.400
I love my grandma

01:03:56.400 --> 01:03:57.160
Come on

01:03:57.160 --> 01:03:59.580
I'm messing with Christmas songs

01:03:59.580 --> 01:04:01.120
Because I'm high

01:04:01.120 --> 01:04:05.360
I hope Avro man don't take this wrong

01:04:05.360 --> 01:04:06.800
Because he's high

01:04:06.800 --> 01:04:08.340
I take it back

01:04:08.340 --> 01:04:08.920
I take it back

01:04:08.920 --> 01:04:09.920
In the courtroom

01:04:09.920 --> 01:04:11.180
His attorney

01:04:11.180 --> 01:04:12.640
Well I know why

01:04:12.640 --> 01:04:13.420
Why man

01:04:13.420 --> 01:04:14.180
Hey hey

01:04:14.180 --> 01:04:15.280
So he can get high

01:04:15.280 --> 01:04:16.840
So he can get high

01:04:16.840 --> 01:04:18.320
So he can get high

01:04:18.320 --> 01:04:20.300
Is he really high?

01:04:20.460 --> 01:04:21.020
Yeah he's high

01:04:21.020 --> 01:04:22.560
Ba la la la la la

01:04:22.560 --> 01:04:23.920
Scooby doo da

01:04:23.920 --> 01:04:25.000
Yeah he really is high

01:04:25.000 --> 01:04:26.000
Snoop snoop

01:04:26.000 --> 01:04:26.900
Doggy doo wah

01:04:26.900 --> 01:04:27.860
Tail waggy with it

01:04:27.860 --> 01:04:28.620
Pimity bird

01:04:28.620 --> 01:04:29.940
At you all

01:04:29.940 --> 01:04:31.360
Bring it back

01:04:31.360 --> 01:04:32.080
Bring it back

01:04:32.080 --> 01:04:33.720
La la la la la

01:04:33.720 --> 01:04:35.580
Doggy doo doo

01:04:35.580 --> 01:04:36.260
Say much

01:04:36.260 --> 01:04:36.840
Say much

01:04:36.840 --> 01:04:37.280
Say much

01:04:37.280 --> 01:04:38.560
All you kids

01:04:38.560 --> 01:04:40.020
Be real good

01:04:40.020 --> 01:04:41.700
And make your best

01:04:41.700 --> 01:04:42.880
That's fantastic advice

01:04:42.880 --> 01:04:43.620
For all the children

01:04:43.620 --> 01:04:46.180
Man we screwed this up

01:04:46.180 --> 01:04:47.020
Big time

01:04:47.020 --> 01:04:47.440
Okay

01:04:47.440 --> 01:04:48.860
When grandma hears this

01:04:48.860 --> 01:04:49.880
Ooh man

01:04:49.880 --> 01:04:51.240
I'm out of the will

01:04:51.240 --> 01:04:51.780
Okay

01:04:51.780 --> 01:04:54.200
No more sweet potato pie brother

01:04:54.200 --> 01:05:24.180
I'm out of the will