This is dedicated to all the hackers and the crackers, to the hackers and the crackers.
I see in binary, I speak source code, step on my toes, I'll post a million game pegs
of you in a fag pose, in your digital stance getting firewalled ho, cause I'm riding the
net in my six foe, I was a dick with my 56, now with my cable I'm able to get that stable,
on the out, my name is Ace and I'm a Leo, on the digital highway, my name is Neo and I'm
a hero, in a flash, I'll screw you on burning dream cats, you need some ISOs, let me do
my hard drive rifle, our exchange you could never stifle, in a digital hug, you just caught
the love bug, I bootlegged your CD, I caused a fight between Un and Jay-Z, your CG, it's
all gonna be free, whether we take it by force or we take it nicely, you feel that rattle
in your bones, when I tell you we just hacked out Jones, and NASDAQ leaves you flat on your
back, cause I am he who loves to hack and crack, cause I am he who loves to hack and crack.
This is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers, serial phones, source codes, ISOs, RANs, SIFSIS,
this is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers.
Hello everyone and welcome to Binary Revolution Radio, episode 75, coming to you December 21st,
2004, I am StankDog with you again this week, however, this is one of our special episodes,
every 25th episode is a little something we call the Telephonic Craptacular, and this is
the third Telephonic Craptacular, episode 75, and this episode's a little different from
others, because it's somewhat of a clip show, if you will, it's not a clip show in the sense
that we're rehashing old material, but this is a bunch of pre-recorded clips, some telephone
calls that we have made here and there, some telemarketer calls that I've gotten that I
like to play around with and have fun with a little bit, some freak adventures if you will,
so this episode is a little different than some of the ones you're used to hearing, so
for those new listeners who've never heard one of these before, hopefully you will enjoy
it, you might go check episode 25 and episode 50 if you want to hear the first two versions
of this, and we're going to see if we can't do something fun, funny this time as well, so
I guess the best thing to do is to just jump right into it. So, this first call is a call
I got from a telemarketer, something we all know and love, and those of you who have heard
previous editions of the Telephonic Craptacular know that I like to have a little fun with them,
so I thought I'd start off with one of these. Hello? Is Stank there? Uh, who's calling?
This is Trina calling with Need Money Florida. With who? Need Money Florida? Yeah. I need money
too. Well, I know, that's why I'm calling you. Oh, you got money for me? Yeah. Kick ass, I wish
I get these calls more often. Well, is it Stank, or is Stank available? Um, how exactly are you
going to give me money first if I were Stank? Well, if you were Stank, but I would tell you
that I'm Katrina, I'm following up on the brochure that I had sent out that speaks about our cash
out and, um, debt consolidation programs that are available, and we wanted to show you no cost
your obligation what we could do to help you in those areas. Uh-huh. If I were Stank, I
probably wouldn't be interested in the debt consolidation. And so... But you sound pretty
cute. How old are you? I'm 20. 20? All right. Attached? Single? No. No? No. Wow. Maybe we
got to talk offline once you get off the job. Is this Stank? Well, is this Katrina? Yes,
I'm Katrina. Well, I am allegedly Stank. If I were to say I was Stank, you'd have to go
through with this whole spiel about how you're going to consolidate my debts and everything.
Well, how much do you owe on your credit cards? Um... You're just messing with me. I know
you are. I'm trying to get to know you. I'm not messing with you. I'm trying to find
the inner Katrina. I'm trying to... But you're trying to find the inner Katrina? Yeah, I'm
trying to see if you know we're compatible. You know, maybe we could talk about this over
dinner. Oh, we're going to talk about it over dinner, are we? Yeah. Well, when are we going
to do that? Uh, when do you want to do that? No. Dude. No, is this Stank? This is Stank.
Then, yes, I'm just messing with you. Okay, this is Stank. Uh, yes, it is. And you're
the homeowner. Uh, yes, I am. How much would you say your house is worth Stank? Does that
depend... Does the date depend on that? Yes, it all depends on what kind... If you help
me. If I... Are you sure it's not that, or are you just trying to see if I've got the
bling bling? Are you wanting... You know, you want to make sure I got the money. Is that
what it's about? Yeah, I'm trying to find the guy with the bling bling. Um, yeah, I'm
Stank. Um, I'm really happy with my finances right now, and I don't want to, uh, refinance
or consolidate or any of that good stuff. It would give yourself a wonderful day. You
too. You're like a very nice girl. Continue the hard work. Yeah, bye-bye. Bye. Oh, that
was hilarious. Well, I thought that one was funny anyway. Um, now this next one is, uh,
just kind of a tip, really, of how to get off the phone sometimes with these people right
away if you do get sucked into the call. Uh, they're usually calling to give you some
kind of great rate or great offer or great discount or whatever, and they usually try
to hook you in by saying, what is this? What do you have now? Tell them you have some, something
so amazing, you know, just make something up that they can't, you know, they can't beat,
and then they'll be forced to hang up the phone because they don't really have much else
to say. Hello? Hello, sir. Is this Mr. Stank? Uh, this is he? Yes, sir. My name is... Real
name removed. I'll be nice. I'm an assistant loan officer with Amerigroup Mortgage Corporation.
Okay. I was wondering if I could take a minute of your time and talk with you about the FHA
loan you received on your home. Do you know what your current interest rate is? Uh, it's,
I think, 2.5%. Okay. Well, sir, I, I, unfortunately, I cannot benefit you at this time. Thank you,
though. Have a nice evening. Thank you. Yes, sir. Bye-bye. Yeah, give them a ridiculously
low amount that they know they can't beat and just see how they react. Now, the telephonic
crap texture is not about just getting phone calls and messing with telemarketers, although
that is one of the funnest parts. Uh, we actually make some phone calls, too, so, uh,
I got some phone calls that we've made outgoing to find some interesting information, and,
um, this first one, actually, was from our good friend Lucky225, and, uh, he had received
a notice about, uh, getting a credit card, but, of course, uh, some of you might know that
Lucky does not have a social security number. Well, for this scenario, he doesn't, anyway.
Thank you for calling the Bank Card Center. Just call me the monitor for quality assurance.
For English, press 1. Open it in.
Thank you for calling the Bank Card Center. My name is Kim. May I have your reference number,
please? Sure, ma'am. It's, uh, 225.
Thank you. And your name, please? Lucky David Miller.
And your mailing address? P.O. Box 1111, Guasti, California, 91743.
And your date of birth? February 25, 1983.
Okay, let's see here. And we will start with your mother's maiden name, please.
Smith.
And your social security number? I don't have one.
Okay, that is a requirement. Uh, actually...
We can't pull a credit? Yes, you can pull a credit with my name, my date of birth, and my address,
and, uh, the Federal Equal Credit Opportunity Act prohibits you from discriminating against
credit applicants on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, marriage status, age,
uh, and it's against my religion to have a social security number.
Okay, let's see here. What else I needed? Uh...
Okay, I'm going to place you on hold for just a moment while I update your application. Is that okay?
Okay.
Just a moment, please.
Thank you for holding. Just please disregard the letter that you have.
Okay.
And you should receive a new response from us within seven to ten days.
Okay, thank you very much, Smith.
Thank you for calling. You have a great day.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Some numbers you call. Just, um, defy explanation.
Please deposit nine trillion nine hundred ninety nine billion nine hundred ninety nine million
dollars and seven cents.
Um...
Uh...
And then there's always the rejection hotline.
So if you've never called one of these before, check them out.
Okay, now we're going to call the rejection hotline in Miami.
And let's give it a shot.
Now the number is 305-241-0033.
Hello, this is not the person you were trying to call.
You've reached the rejection hotline provided by rejectionhotline.com.
The person who gave you this number did not want you to have their real number.
We know this sucks, but don't be too devastated.
So why were you given the rejection hotline number?
Maybe you're just not this person.
Type.
Note, this could mean short, fat, ugly, dumb, annoying, arrogant, or just a general loser.
Maybe you suffer from bad breath, body odor, or a nasty combination of the two.
Maybe you just give off that creepy, overbearing, psycho stalker vibe.
Maybe the idea of going out with you just seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.
Regardless of the reason, please take the hint.
Accept the fact that you were rejected and then get over it.
And please, do your best to forget about the person who gave you this number, because trust us, they've already forgotten about you.
The rejection hotline is provided by rejectionhotline.com and sponsored by, well, we don't really have a national advertising sponsor yet, but you could win cash and prizes if you help us get one.
Visit www.rejectionhotline.com for information on our search for a national advertising sponsor, for rejection hotline numbers in other cities, for rejection business cards, and other rejection hotline merchandise, including our new rejection boxer shorts and thongs.
All that and more at www.rejectionhotline.com.
And if you're still listening, don't worry.
It could be much worse.
In addition to being rejected, you could have been laughed at, too.
Thank you. Good day.
Oh, well, no freaking on that box.
Ironic, though, that even if you bought their rejection hotline thong or boxers, you'd probably have an even higher chance of being rejected, but that's just me.
And from the same people, at least the voice sounds the same as the rejection hotline, we have a little something called the telemarketer's nightmare.
And this number, there's only a couple of these, so we're going to call one in, oh, I don't know, how about Rhode Island, is 401-648-7950.
Hello, this is not the person you were trying to reach.
You've reached the telemarketer's nightmare.
Brought to you by telemarketersnightmare.com and sponsored by the Phone Butler, the best anti-telemarketing device around.
Mr. or Ms. telemarketer, we understand you're just doing your job, but if this number ended up on your call list,
it's because most people consider telemarketing calls to be as annoying as paper cuts, mosquito bites, standing in line at the DMV, cell phones ringing in a movie theater, and stepping in a big pile of dogs.
Wow, so I've been pre-approved for a new credit card?
What color this week, silver, gold, platinum?
Yeah, I don't care if it's pink with green polka dots, the answer is still no.
So you're calling to offer me the lowest long distance rates around, a no-risk credit protection program, free magazine subscriptions, or new windows for my house?
Sounds great, thanks so much, but my answers are no, no, no, and what was that last one again?
Oh yeah, no.
I'm not suggesting that all telemarketers deserve to be rolled in honey and thrown in a bear cage at the Roger Williams Zoo.
I'm just saying that I enjoy telemarketing calls as much as spoiled milk, moldy bread, soggy cereal, and slamming my hand in a car door.
I don't want to hear about your special limited-time offer.
I don't want you to call back tomorrow, next week, or next month.
The answer to whatever you're asking is a big, fat no.
So you should probably just hang up now and go back to work.
I'm sure you've got lots of other names on your list of people that bother and annoy.
Thanks for calling Telemarketers Nightmare, provided by telemarketersnightmare.com.
I'm in partnership with the Phone Butler, the best anti-telemarketing device around.
Just press the star key with the Phone Butler, and unwanted callers hear this.
Pardon me, this is the Phone Butler, and I have been directed to inform you that this household must respectfully decline your inquiry.
Kindly place this number on your do-not-call list.
Good day.
And just like that, the telemarketer can't call back for ten years.
For Telemarketer Nightmare numbers in other cities, or to get your very own Phone Butler for your home,
please visit www.telemarketersnightmare.com.
The Telemarketers Nightmare.
We get the last laugh.
Wee-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he.
Hello.
Invalid entry.
Hello, this is not the person you were trying to reach.
You've reached...
The Telemarketers Nightmare.com.
Sold.
Hello, this is not the...
Invalid entry.
Hello.
Hello, this is not
Sorry, I could not find any matching accounts
Hello, this is not the person you were trying to
I'm sorry, I could not find any matching accounts
Hello
Hello, this is not
Invalid entry, to leave a message, press 2
The rejection hotline
Receive messages because their mailbox is full
Cancelled, thank you, goodbye
Whoa
Alrighty then, that was pretty interesting
Am I goodbyed or not?
Alright, well, anyway, that was the, what was that again?
The telemarketer's nightmare line
And I went ahead and left all the ads and stuff in that
Because, hey, we're using their material on the air
Why not give them a little publicity
So that's all well and good
And I was just trying to leave a message there at the end
And apparently you can punch in some account numbers, it would appear
Maybe you might check that out if you're interested
And yet another rejection line
This one is
2-1-2-4-7-9-7-9-9-0
Welcome to the New York City Rejection Line
Brought to you by RejectionLine.com
Unfortunately, the person who gave you this number
Does not want to talk to you
Or see you again
We would like to take this opportunity
To officially reject you
Our certified rejection specialists
Are waiting to serve you in your time of need
Please listen carefully to the following menu
Service provided by EFLS
If you want to speak to our comfort specialists
Press 1
If you want to hear a sad poem written by a kindred spirit
Press 2
If you want to cling to the unrealistic hope
That a relationship is still possible
Press 3
If you want to set up a personal voicemail account
Press 4
Yeah, 3 sounds good
The person who gave you this number
Was probably just joking around
Later you'll laugh about this together
Lying in bed as a couple
Kissing, massaging, nuzzling
Ever so gently
As you alternately spoon and mutually masturbate
Or maybe the sexy-ass person who gave you this number
Did it on accident
Was it digit off?
Try other possible combinations
Was the handwriting blurry?
Aha!
Hmm?
The person who gave you this number
Obviously liked you on some level
Or they never would have even bothered
To take the time to talk to you
Maybe this is their way of saying
Hey you
I'm scared
I'm scared of committing to
Or even casually dating you
Because you are that intimidating
And impressive
Wow
Cupid strikes again
Love is so crazy
Good luck hot stuff
Wow
Did you hear that?
Hot stuff she called me
I think the rejection hotline chick wants me
Alright, maybe not
And this number is
310-495-5412
Thank you for calling
Unfortunately
The person who gave you this number
Does not want to talk to you
Or speak to you
Ever again
We would like to take this opportunity
To officially reject you
If you would like to order
Personalized rejection cards
With this number printed on them
Please visit our website
At www.gotrejected.com
Our certified rejection specialists
Are standing by to serve you
In this time of need
Please listen carefully
To the following options
To hear some consoling poetry
Press 1
To hear a joke or two
Bachelorettes
Memories tingling and twirling
On my lips
Like the summer
I fell in and out of love
So quickly it left me
Paper thin and bruised
But I am transformed
And transfixed
By these butterfly quick eyes
That dart purposefully
Beyond my horizon
And for once
Pierce through
This thin
Shadowy face
And into the part of me
That loved
Paris
It's so sad
I could kill these stars
In your eyes
Easily
But for once
I don't mind
The constellations
Do you feel rejected yet?
Maybe not
Why don't you hang up now
Call back
And listen to one of the other buttons
Thank you for calling
Unfortunately
The person who gave you this number
Does not want to talk to you
Or speak to you
Ever again
Who would like to take this opportunity
To officially reject you
If you would like to order
Personalized rejection cards
With this number printed on that
All right
You've been rejected
Let's see if we can make you feel
A little better
With a couple of jokes
So tell me
How does a dummy
Kill a groundhog?
He buries it
Okay, how about this
What do you call a boomerang
That doesn't come back?
A stick
Okay, okay
What do you call a cow
That won't give milk?
A milk dud
How about what do you call a cow
In a tornado?
A milkshake
All right
That's the end of my show
But our show is not over
Our show has just begun
Actually
I guess we're about a third
Of the way through it
But
Sometimes we make calls
We'll be on the phone
And just
Board
Decide to call up
A random company
Or some company
We want to get more information
Out of
And just see what they're
I like to play with
Just the voicemail systems
Just kind of see
What kind of functions
Are available
See if there's any
Undocumented
Any backdoor functions
Things like that
So this call
Was one that
Was
Was actually
Black Ratchet and I
On the phone
And we were just
Calling some numbers
Because we like
The voice response systems
Used by FedEx
For example
Which is I believe
1-800-GO-FEDEX
And who else
Sony uses that
We were playing around
With them
And Microsoft
We decided to give them
A call to their
Bug report line
And this is what happened
Okay
So we're going to call
What are we calling
I'm calling
Microsoft
Reporting a Microsoft
Product bug
So let me
Flip over here
1-800
6-4-2-7-6-7-6
Alright let's see
What this does
Let's see here
Thank you for calling
Microsoft
If you are calling
With a designated code
Press 1
For technical support
On all Microsoft
Products
Press 2
For pre-sales
Product
I've got a code
Please enter your
4-digit code now
4-digit
If your code is longer
Than 4 digits
Please enter only
The first 4 digits
Press the pound key
When done
Or press star
At any time
To re-enter your number
1-3-3-7
One moment, please, while we look up your promotion code.
Promotion code. Interesting.
The code you entered is invalid.
One moment, please, while your call is connected.
Your call may be monitored or recorded.
Bring a bug.
Thanks for calling Microsoft Customer Service.
My name is...
Anonymous.
May I have your full name, please?
Yeah, it's Steve Wilson.
Thank you very much, Steve.
May I have a phone number, please?
Actually, I'm calling from work, and I'm not really supposed to give out the number here.
Okay.
Do you have a number you...
The reason I'm asking is in case we get disconnected so I can reach you back.
Is there any other number you'd like to give?
Oh, no.
I can just call.
If we get disconnected, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Okay.
Not a problem.
How may I help you today?
Yeah, I'm having some problems with Service Pack 2,
and I looked up in the knowledge base,
and I didn't see that it was reported there,
and I saw this number on the website,
so I didn't know if I should call and report it to you or not.
What is your policy as far as...
I mean, do I have the right number for that?
Are you trying to report a bug or something like that?
Yeah, yeah, that's what I was saying.
I think that I found a bug I can recreate.
Ever since I installed Service Pack 2, I'm having a problem with Outlook Express,
and I was just trying to be helpful and report it,
and I saw this number on the website.
I don't know if this is the correct number or not.
What number?
Yeah, it says if you're reporting a Microsoft product bug,
if you think you found a bug in a Microsoft, contact this number.
Okay, yeah.
I can go ahead and take down that information from you
and submit it into our database here.
Actually, now you have me worried.
I feel like I'm bothering you.
You act like no one reports a bug, I guess.
You guys are that good.
Excuse me?
I said you guys are that good, I think is how it is, right?
Microsoft just doesn't make mistakes is what I'm hearing.
Oh, no.
No, basically I'm relatively new here,
and this will be the first bug case I've taken.
Oh, really?
Wow.
Yeah.
It's a first for both of us.
How about that?
I guess so.
So, yeah, go ahead and explain the bug, I guess.
Okay, is there some certain particular screen you have to bring up on your end?
Is that, I assume you have some kind of interface,
and you log all the details in, am I assuming correctly?
Yeah, let me, can I put you on hold for one moment, please?
Sure, absolutely.
Thank you.
I have no idea where I'm going with this.
I can see you standing fancy right now.
I'm not going to wait much longer.
Steve?
Yes.
Thank you for holding.
Okay, I've been talking to one of my peers over here,
and he kind of explained to me what goes on.
Are you needing assistance with this bug?
Um, no, honestly, I don't really need you to fix it for me or anything right now.
I think it's probably something deeper than that.
I was just figuring it's something you could put in the next service pack or release or something like that.
Okay, then if you don't need assistance,
I can go ahead and take down any information you'd like to give about how the bug is occurring.
I'm sorry to laugh.
That sounded funny.
If I don't need help, then you can help me.
No, if you need assistance, then there's a different process we go through.
Oh, I see.
I would create a case and get you on to a support professional.
But if you don't need assistance in that manner,
then I can go ahead and take down any information you'd like to give about how to reproduce the bug,
and I can submit that into our database.
Okay, is there some way that I can do that online through the website as well?
Because it's quite a few steps,
and I think I can probably type it better myself just to not try to –
it's kind of hard to explain the technical terms and stuff.
Okay.
Let me see.
What you could do is type it up in an email and send that in.
Let me find that link.
Yeah, that would be great.
I'd be more comfortable with that.
Okay, not a problem.
So let me find it real quick.
So you're new to the department, or so you've only been there for how long?
A few months.
You like it so far?
Oh, yeah.
It's an awesome job, actually.
You're going to hook me up with a job, man.
I can come up there.
I'm surprised I even got this one.
Oh, yeah?
Well, it's just a stream of fortunate events, I guess.
Just moved up here, and –
Are you actually in Redmond?
They called me.
Close to there, south of Redmond, in a town called Issaquah.
Uh-huh.
And you actually work for Microsoft.
You're not outsourced, right?
You're actually –
Well, technically, yeah.
I work through a contract agency, but I am in a Microsoft building, that's for sure.
Oh, well, that's cool.
Hey, they have good physical security on those buildings.
You have to, like, swipe cards and get thumbprints and lick something when you walk in the door
or anything like that.
And a retina scan and fingerprints.
Everything, huh?
I bet – that sounds like a really cool place to work.
I bet you – do you also get, like, all the new technology?
Are you guys using Longhorn on your computers already, or are you just using normal X?
No.
No?
No, that's still – I don't even think that's in beta yet.
So, no, we – I have XP on my machine.
You do?
Let me see.
What kind of machine do you have, a Dell?
Or is Microsoft making their own PCs now?
No, no.
No, we're not making our own PCs.
Let me see.
Probably using Dell.
I have some difficulty.
Can I put you on hold one more time and ask a friend real quick?
Sure.
Sure, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Dude, I am so winging it.
He's dropping mad docs, though.
Groovy.
Steve Wilson, what the fuck?
You're Chinese.
Who'sVI?
Oi man.
I've sourled.
It feels like $4.
It's a freaking email address.
Alright.
All right.
Maybe they're tracing me.
Obviously waking up Bill for that email.
Yeah.
All right.
Getting tired.
I missed Max.
Yeah.
Maybe I should three-way the two of them together.
What do you think?
Are we done?
Sure.
I think I can get some more out of him, but damn it.
I think it's proof that Microsoft does not care about bugs.
Well, he did say it's the first time he's ever gotten a bug report.
All right.
Yeah, I'm going to drop.
All right.
You still there?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
You know what?
I'm going to keep this in the craptacular because, A, it filled up some time.
I'll take out the hold music.
I'll at least be nice and take out the ten minutes of hold here and there.
No, see, I think that's the best one.
You know, I just sit there and just, like, you know, just sit.
There's the end.
You just say, we're going to end it with this call, call Microsoft.
We just fade it out into the background.
That's your closing music.
I was going to say, yeah, the closing music is the Microsoft hold music.
But, no, the funny thing, but here's the cool thing about that call, which I still think that that was a successful call, even though we didn't really accomplish.
All right.
First of all, they didn't have anything planned.
I was winging everything.
So, I was making up everything from the beginning.
But this dude's dropping docs.
I mean, he's in a small town just south of Redmond.
He just started recently, blah, blah, blah.
And I was going to further hit him up of what kind of software they use, if they're using SharePoint.
Are they, you know, he's really giving a lot of information there.
So, it was still a pretty fun call.
And we learned that that's the first.
Did you notice, did you see the little thing about how if I needed help, they wouldn't have helped me?
Yeah.
But because I didn't need.
I had to hold the microphone on that one.
That was great.
If nothing else, that one line was worth the whole phone call.
So, I'm going to leave it in for that.
So, that's it for this phone call, such as it was.
And this actually was just us playing around, and I decided to record it.
So, I'm glad I got that one on tape.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Now, that that call's over, see, some of the stuff that I consider fun is just the act of winging it as you go along.
And this is one of the greatest things you can do to improve your social engineering skills,
being able to think off the top of your head and just make stuff up and just kind of go with the flow.
And calling numbers like this, I, again, we called to play with the voicemail system.
I did not expect to get a person.
So, once I was kind of put on the spot, it makes you kind of start thinking,
makes you start trying to get information from people, just try to talk to them,
see what kind of docs they're willing to drop and stuff like that.
So, there is a lesson in that.
We didn't come up with any secret, top secret Microsoft whatever,
but, you know, we found out some information about the person answering the phone,
found out the operating system they're using.
I could have probably pushed for more.
I just got tired of waiting.
So, there is a lesson to be learned here,
and that is to just call some of these numbers and talk to people
just for the simple fact of practicing your social skills,
your social engineering skills.
There's absolutely a viable way of getting better at it.
That's going to just about do it for the phone calls tonight,
but I did want to take just a minute here towards the end to, well, rant a little bit,
not too much, but just on the whole subject of the big bells and the phone companies in general.
And, yeah, I know that as hackers a lot of times we sound like a broken record
covering this topic over and over and over and over again
about how much we hate the phone companies,
but I wanted to put it into perspective exactly why.
My local telco is Bell South.
And, actually, before I go too much, let's back up a little bit.
There's something that happened in 1996 called the Telecommunications Act.
And one of the goals of this was to have broken up all the big bells
and made it a level playing field so that other people could come and compete
in the market of offering you phone service, and local phone service specifically,
among some other things.
But that was one of the good things out of it.
There were some bad parts, just like everything else,
there's some good parts and bad parts.
But that was one of the good things, that it was breaking up all these big bells,
these giant monopolies, as they were.
Well, that's fine in theory.
That sounds like a good idea, but what happened is the only people that were still able to play
were other big bells.
They really just opened up their market to the other bell companies,
so Bell South was able to spread out a little bit more.
And SBC and Verizon and these other places were able to really just kind of move around
their territory a little bit.
You saw a couple small companies, like there was one called Supratelecom,
that tried to get in on that kind of business, but they have to lease lines
from the big telephone companies, so they end up not basically at the will
of the telephone company and what prices they give them,
and if they don't give them a reasonable price, they can't then turn around and resell it
and give you a better price to the consumer and undercut Bell South,
because Bell South controls the lines and makes that not exactly easy to do
as it might sound.
So, all that's happened is that every time a company comes along that does look like
they have a chance of maybe getting a foothold or maybe being able to take some market share
away from these bells, all that ends up happening is those big bells end up buying
those companies up anyway.
Companies that started offering DSL, trying to go for the ISP market and people who wanted
the high-speed access before the bells were able to roll it out to their consumers,
all that the bells did was buy that company up and therefore buy their customer base,
and basically they did all the work for them, and then they'd just come along and buy the
company up later.
And the people that formed and owned these companies, you know, it's kind of not,
you can't really point fingers at them saying they sold out or anything.
When you throw this huge amount of money at them for their company, I mean,
that's what they're in business for is to make money and live comfortably,
so I don't really blame them so much. So what basically has happened is by breaking it up once,
they ended up buying each other back up again, so you're back at the same monopoly status that you
were before this all began, and on top of it all, as if that's not enough, it's all government
regulated. The FCC wants to come in and dictate what can and can't be done and what they can get
away with, and they always side on the side of the big businesses. They always do in every
circumstance, but this one just as well. And if you look at your phone bill, you'll see the FCC
regulations, FCC charges, FCC this and that. So as you are going to hear in this upcoming call,
the last call I'm going to play here, it's just these ridiculous amounts of fees. In some cases,
like mine, the total cost of all the fees ends up being higher, higher than the cost of the actual
phone line itself. FCC fee, and then not only does the FCC implement its own fees,
but they also authorize and allow these phone companies to get cost recovery fees, and they
authorize what they can and can't charge the consumers, and they think that they're
regulating the phone companies by doing this, when in actuality they're giving them so much leeway and
so much freedom that they're allowing them to pass these charges on to us. For example,
networking charge. Oh, well, the internet's taken off, so we feel that they should be able to recover
their money or the cost of the bandwidth and having to put more lines in. Now, wait a minute.
How is it that they're able to make us pay for those lines to be put in, as well as continue to
pay the same price or increasing prices at the same time? So they're double dipping out of both ends
of it. They're raising the prices on it. I'm paying for a Bell South line, which are, again,
in most cases is already in place. It's a small amount of equipment they have to put in at the
switch for that kind of stuff, you know. So it's already in place. Very little that's needed in
most cases, of course, there are exceptions, to implement that. So why should I have to then pay
a network recovery fee if I'm already paying 40, 50, whatever you're paying for your DSL line?
How can you have it both ways? How can you take three, four, five dollars off of my phone bill for
that and pay for DSL? And then the double standard there is even if you don't have DSL, you're still
paying this network access fee because it helps pay for the infrastructure. That's their logic
behind it. And that's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And that's just one example. You also
have franchise fees. Now, wait a minute. How are you going to pass a franchise fee on to me? You've got
a franchise. That's the way you run your business. And you're telling me that I'm going to have to pay
a franchise fee to, what, grace me with the presence of your service? I mean, I'm paying to have the
privilege of being raped? Is that pretty much what I'm understanding here? They're allowed to get a
certain cost recovery fee and the FCC approves it. So it's like the problem here is the FCC. If you don't
understand, if you're not reading between the lines, the FCC allows them to get away with far, far too much
and it absolutely is ridiculous how much they charge the consumers and what little service we
actually get for it. That's why right now in 2004, the end of 2004 and 2005, 2004 was a huge
breakthrough, a huge year for VoIP or voice over IP. Now, I'm not going to talk down because I know
most of the people listening to this show know what voice over IP is. But I do want to take a moment to
try to convince people and explain to people how incredibly wonderful of an option this is for
multiple reasons. First and foremost, for your typical everyday home consumer that has broadband.
Unfortunately, I have to narrow it down to that. If you do not have broadband, if you're a typical home
consumer who doesn't even have either, doesn't have internet access and want it or just has dial-up,
unfortunately, you're not going to be able to benefit from this. But for those of you who have a
cable modem or even DSL, in some cases, it might pay off a little bit. But especially anybody with
a cable modem, there's no reason for you not to move to voice over IP. So if that, if you fall into
that category, listen very closely. There are several companies out there right now, Vonage,
Voice Pulse, Packet 8, so many that, I mean, you can go look up, do Google search for VoIP and you'll
find a lot of providers. But it doesn't matter which one you choose. They're all pretty similar and
their pricing plans are pretty similar in the features that they offer you. These companies,
by using the bandwidth that you have for the internet, which is the same infrastructure that
the phone company uses, but the phone company doesn't generally offer you VoIP, or if they do,
it's at the same rate they offer or very slightly cheaper than the regular rates that they offer,
so it's not worthwhile. But for around $25 to $35 price range a month, you can get a phone with
unlimited long distance calls. That's not even something you get in your local phone package.
That's something you have to have an extra long distance carrier, which again is another charge.
If you don't have a long distance carrier, they charge you per month for that. And the FCC allows
them to do that. So even if you don't make calls, you have to pay for the privilege of not being able
to make long distance calls. That's ridiculous. But I digress. Back to the voice over IP option.
With voice over IP, you get every feature that you can imagine. Fantastic features with your phone
service. Stuff that would have added up and added up by all your local telco companies, and it would
have been a $40, $50, $60 phone bill just for the features alone. Total choice, I think Bell South
calls. It's like $45 a month. And that doesn't include long distance. So with VoIP, you're getting all of
those features. Three-way calling, call transfer, call forwarding, forwarding your phone line,
automatic voicemail that you can check from anywhere, call ID blocking, telemarketer blocking,
everything you can possibly imagine offered for that same price. No extra charges.
Secondly, unlimited long distance inside the United States. Or again, I unfortunately can't speak to the
international. I know the international rates that they offer are far cheaper than any other.
So it does pay off for international listeners as well. But I can only speak directly to the United
States. I can now make unlimited calls anywhere in the United States. So that, depending on how many
calls you would have made, you know, you're taking a phone bill that was, say, $45 for all the features,
plus whatever long distance calls. So maybe $60, $70, upwards of $100 for some people,
still for that same price of $25 to $35 a month. It's absolutely a no-lose situation. There's no
reason why anybody with a cable modem shouldn't at least investigate and look into this and maybe give
it a shot. It doesn't cost, you know, you have to buy a small piece of equipment, very easy to install
on the client end, hook it up to your home phone line, you plug it right into the same phone you
were using with your local phone company. There's no difference. You get a dial tone,
your dial number is just the same. You can't tell a difference from the other phone that you were
using. The only drawback to it is if your cable connection or high-speed connection, whatever you
happen to use, is unreliable, if it goes down, or if you lose power, you do lose your phone line.
That is a fact, and there's no denying that. But you've got to think to yourself, how often does
that really happen, A? And B, if that really happens, say a hurricane or a storm, we have
hurricanes down here in Florida, guess what? The phone usually goes out too anyway. So it's not
really a bunch of a disadvantage. The same thing is going to happen in both circumstances. The power
goes out, that's a different story. But even then, you will still have, your voicemail will still be
working, you'll still be able to get your messages when it does come back up, and hopefully you have
maybe a cell phone option for a backup plan or for emergencies and things like that. So the moral
of the story is, investigate VoIP. If you have a cable modem from your cable company and are still
using your local phone company, stop. Very simply. There's a ton of other features and a ton of other
cool things you can do with voice over IP, as far as interfacing it with a computer, interfacing it with
an asterisk box of your own. You get so much more control. So many things that you can do that have
been gone into, we've discussed before, you can go back and listen to the episode on setting up an
asterisk box with Not Theory. Go back and listen to any and all of the episodes of Default Radio
at defaultradio.com, and you'll hear all kinds of great stuff along those lines. But as a general note,
this is directed at those listeners out there who have not investigated it or thought about it yet.
Now is the time to do it. So I finally took the plunge. When I went to a cable modem fairly
recently, I got rid of my DSL from Bell South, which was the first big step. Now I've gone voice
over IP with some cordless phones in my house, and it's working wonderfully. So this next call that
you're about to hear is me calling Bell South, a momentous occasion here, a big long overdue thing,
because I hate Bell South. I think they're incompetent beyond belief, and you'll even hear a little bit
out on this call, and canceled my home phone line. So this is that call, and this is going to be our
last call of the night, and then I'm going to do some music at the end. So take a listen to this,
and I hope you really listen, take to heart what I said. The time of voice over IP is now.
Okay, we're going to call Bell South now, my local phone company, because they are the suck-sore. I am
going to cancel my home phone service. I'm tired of paying 20-something dollars, 26 dollars I think
it is a month for what should be 11 dollars and six cents is what my phone bill is. I have no extra
features, no nothing, just a complete rock-bottom phone. And because they're allowed to get away with
charging franchise fees, and cost recovery fees, and FCC fees, and networking fees, they somehow are
allowed to get away with it. They are basically a government-subsidized, government-accepted
monopoly. So I now have an option with VoIP, and so do you. So I've switched over to VoIP,
VoIP, and I'm going to call right now and have Bell South cancel my phone line. A momentous occasion
here.
Welcome to Right Touch Service, the Bell South automated information system. You will need
your four-digit PIN located on the first page of your bill, or the last four digits of the
social security number associated with your account to make arrangements to pay your bill or place orders. To
use our automated system, press 1 on your touch-tone phone now. If you need instructions, press 7 now.
Please enter the area code and telephone number of the account you are calling about.
Please re-enter the area code and telephone number of the account you are calling about.
Oh, for crying out loud!
Then press pound.
Crappy service.
You have entered...
Look at all that static in the background.
If this is correct, press 1.
If not, please re-enter the area code and telephone number you are calling about.
Then press pound.
And look, it goes away when she's not talking. It's something on their end.
Please hold while I access your record.
Please choose from the main menu as follows.
For inquiries about your bill, press 1.
For descriptions, rates, or instructions on BellSouth services and features, such as memory call, press 2.
To disconnect your entire service, or temporarily cancel or restore your service, press 3.
Boop!
Please enter your PIN or the last four digits of the social security number on your account.
Then press pound.
To permanently disconnect your service, press 1.
To temporarily cancel your telephone service, press 2.
To return to the main menu, you have chosen to permanently disconnect your telephone service.
This means you will receive a final bill and you will no longer have a telephone account.
To continue, press 1.
To choose another ordering option, press 2.
To end your call, hang up.
To choose another ordering option, press 2.
To end your call, hang up.
Beep.
I said 1, you retard.
Beep.
Oh, for crying.
Now they're gonna talk me out.
Beep.
Yeah, I just went through the automated system, though.
I was just canceling my number.
You want to disconnect your number?
Right.
Okay, I can do that for you.
What's your area code and telephone number?
It's 810-223-0003.
And who I have the pleasure of speaking with today?
Call me Dangler.
Fuck, Dangler.
Okay, I'm better off the one more.
I'll pull up your account.
We can have this disconnected for you.
Great.
Are you moving?
Are you not satisfied with your service?
I'm not satisfied with the service.
Just switch to a different option.
Okay.
Was it a long distance, or you just weren't getting the price you had agreed upon?
Just I have a rock-bottom phone that's, what, $10 or $11 a month,
and it costs me $20-something a month because of all the fees and cost recovery of this
and franchise fee that, and I'm tired of getting feed to death.
The fees cost more than the line.
Okay.
So, and I have no features and no, you know, so I went with a VoIP option,
so I just don't need the phone anymore.
Okay, that's not a problem.
All right, let's see.
Can you verify your social security number for me?
Yeah, it's 337-47-1337.
Okay.
Probably getting a lot of these calls lately with Voice over IP taking off the way it is.
Um, not really.
No?
Not really, no.
Hmm.
Not really.
No.
I actually, when it first came out, I thought we would have more calls, but honestly, not really.
I'm actually shocked, but yeah.
Hmm.
Okay.
Um, it seems to be all set.
Will we disconnect you before you want it today?
Um, yeah.
What's this, how's this going to happen then?
Is it just prorated for the partial month?
Because your billing cycle is from the 11th of every month through the 10th,
so they're going to re-bill you from the 11th through the 20th.
So, your bill right now is 2088.
I would wait until you receive your final bill next month and make that payment then.
Just make one final payment.
Okay.
Right.
Now, um, just so I'm clear, though, I was told I had called and asked before,
um, even with canceling the phone service, if I keep a phone plugged into that phone jack,
I can still call 911 if I need to?
Um, you should be able to do that, yes.
Well.
Um, should or, is that, I'm sorry?
Should or will?
Um.
It's kind of important.
Let me see.
Barely one moment.
Sure.
Please hold.
Dum bum.
I'll save you about eight and a half minutes of hold music and bring you back in when the
operator came back on the line.
I'm a dog.
Yes, sir.
I think I'm being so patient.
Um, there's no way of knowing until the line is disconnected and it's still not guaranteed
once it's disconnected if you'll have a dial to do 911 or not.
But I thought that's why we're charged a monthly fee for 911 services because it was state.
When it's active, yes.
But when it's state required is so that it can be sent to everyone's house regardless of
whether they have phone service.
I thought that was a federal mandate.
No.
So, you're telling me you can't guarantee me that I'll be able to call 911 through that
phone line?
Correct.
There's no guarantee.
Guarantee.
Wow.
And that's the official word, huh?
No guarantee.
No, there's no guarantee.
Wow.
That is very interesting.
Huh.
All right.
Well, I guess let's just hope I don't have a situation where I have to call 911 then and...
Well, hopefully we won't have any problems with that, hopefully.
Yep.
All right.
And I guess that's it then.
Are we done?
Yeah, we're done.
I'm really surprised that you say you haven't had more calls.
I'm just...
The price is just so different.
I don't see why more people haven't switched to voice over IP.
But you haven't gotten, like, memos or anything?
No increased call volume of disconnects, huh?
Nothing.
Wow.
Very interesting.
All right.
Well, thank you very much for your time.
I appreciate it.
And I hope you come out of denial soon.
You have a great day.
You too.
Bye-bye.
Okay.
So after that little cancellation with Bell South, canceling my home phone service,
I got a little conflicting information there.
I was told before that I would have 911 service no matter what, if I unplug the phone or not.
But then this gentleman seems to believe that I will not get 911, or they couldn't guarantee.
They didn't know that I would get 911.
So I plugged my phone back in to the actual Bell South line, that is, the Bell South phone
jack, to see what kind of response I get.
So I'm going to call the rejection hotline that we called earlier.
And you will hear that I get an interesting message, and I don't know if this further confirms or further confuses the matter.
But when I dial a number from my canceled line, your call cannot be completed as dialed.
If you dial the five-digit code, it is changed.
Please redial, adding a one and a zero before the five-digit code.
Or for assistance, contact the carrier you are trying to use.
Interesting.
So I'm going to try to dial a local number.
You can only dial 911 from this line.
To reach Bell South or another local service provider, you must call from another location.
So there you go.
If I try to dial a long-distance number, it tries to do something routing-wise.
I don't know what.
And if I try to dial a local number, which does require 10-digit dialing,
I get the 911 as the only number that can be dialed.
So I don't know if that confirms that we will have 911 service or not.
So I just thought I'd share that with the listeners.
Nobody at Bell South seems to know what they're doing or be able to give a straight answer.
And that's why I left.
And that is going to do it for this edition,
our third edition of the Binary Revolution Radio Telephonic Craptacular.
And I do think it lived up to its name.
Emphasis on crap.
So these are getting tougher and tougher to do every time I come along.
Tougher to come up with more material for this.
I don't know that people like these any more or less than doing just a normal show.
So I don't know what the future of the Telephonic Craptaculars are.
I don't know if I'm going to do them at all or still do them every 25th like I've been doing
or maybe just randomly insert them.
I have no idea what the future is.
So, you know what?
Email me.
Let me know what you think.
Like them, don't like them.
What you prefer I do.
A regular show this week.
Some other kind of, you know, I'm open to whatever.
And to get in touch with us, of course, you can email us.
It's radio at BinRev.com.
Shouts this week.
I'm not going to single anybody out.
Obviously, I always give shouts to the DDP.
And this is the Christmas season, though.
I'm not singling anybody out.
I'm giving shouts to everybody who's been a part of the Binary Revolution.
Whether you've come to the website one day, looked at it, and left, if you're a regular
listener of the show, if you're someone who emails me and contributes, works on projects
with us, gives us feedback, is a regular in the forums, you heard of us from word of mouth
and you've never even visited the site, you're getting this through our podcast or something
like that.
You know what?
It's the holidays, so happy holidays to each and every one of you out there.
And I'm going to close today with some music that I got from Battery Man.
Sent me a great, just a perfect song, and a song that I like anyway.
This is a play off of the song by Afro Man, because I got high.
And this is Afro Man Christmas Song.
So we're going to close out with that parody of the original song.
And that is probably it.
Again, if you didn't hear last week, we announced that DDP Hack Radio is up and working.
And you can click on that and listen to that 24-7, all hacking content, all the time.
Click on the binrev.com page, you'll see a link to the radio, and that'll fire right up
in your browser.
And you'll hear constant stuff.
We have regularly scheduled shows.
And you can look at the schedule on radio.binrev.com and click on Schedule.
You'll see the current schedule, which is a work in progress, adding and moving shows
around as we speak, but pretty close to being finalized now.
Lots of great stuff that you, some of it you won't find anywhere else.
And that's it.
So again, thank everybody for listening.
And we will see everybody next week, next year.
Same hack time, same hack channel.
Hey man, just roll me another Christmas blunt.
I was going to trim the tree until I got high.
I was going to buy you an EVD, but then I got high.
She's sleeping at LAX, and I know why.
Hey man, cause I got high, because I got high, because I got high.
Yo, it's going to buy you an EVD, because we're going to buy you an EVD.
I was going to send you a card, but I got high.
Put a lighted reindeer in my yard, but I got high.
My jack-o'-lantern's frozen, it's still outside.
Hey, hey, cause I get high, because I get high, cause I get high.
Ba-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
I was going to clean the chimney flue, but then I got high.
No, you wouldn't.
I was going to roll up a fatty tube for the fat guy.
Don't forget me.
I drank his milk and cookies
And I know why
He flies
Cause I got high
Because I got high
Here we go
I was gonna go to Midnight Mass
While I was high
I was gonna sit there and pass some gas
While I was high
Now I'm burning hell
And I know why
Cause I got high
Because I got high
I was gonna kiss my grandma's face
And then I got high
Maybe y'all should get a room
I was gonna eat her fruitcake too
Then I got high
It tasted pretty nasty
But I don't mind
Hey
Because I was high
I love my grandma
Come on
I'm messing with Christmas songs
Because I'm high
I hope Avro man don't take this wrong
Because he's high
I take it back
In the courtroom
His attorney
Well I know why
Why man
Hey hey
So he can get high
Is he really high?
Yeah he's high
Ba la la la la la
Scooby doo da
Yeah he really is high
Snoop snoop
Doggy doo wah
Tail waggy with it
Pimity bird
At you all
Bring it back
La la la la la
Doggy doo doo
Say much
All you kids
Be real good
And make your best
That's fantastic advice
For all the children
Man we screwed this up
Big time
Okay
When grandma hears this
Ooh man
I'm out of the will
Okay
No more sweet potato pie brother
I'm out of the will