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/me follows $$1 to a party one night.... | /me waits until $$1 goes inside and then breaks into his car.... | /me exchanges $$1 's MegaDeth CD with the new Enigma CD | /say Later that night, $$1 decides to crank some tunes on his drive home... | /say $$1 falls asleep at the wheel and plows into an Exxon Truck.... | / kick # $$1
/me smells something bad.. | /me looks at $$1... | /kick # $$1
/me notices that $$1 is idling.. | /me decides to get rid of him | /me picks up $$1 and throws him out of # | /kick # $$1
/me gags $$1 and stuffs him in a Cow suit, then tosses him into a corral with a horny bull.  <<Mmmmmoooooo!>> | /kick # $$1
/me intercepte la balle, drible et shoot! | /kick # $$1
/me kicks $$1 in the chest...**Kaiaaaaa; | /kick # $$1
/me smashes $$1's head with a baseball bat *BOK*#!! | /kick # $$1
/me pulls down the switch to the electric chair | /kick # $$1
/me dons his priestly garb. | /me dispatches $$1's soul on its way to the pearly gates. | /kick # $$1
/me grabs $$1 by the hair and jams him face first into the toilet... | /me does the royal flush. | /kick # $$1
/me throws $$1 carelessly to the floor. | /me does the moonwalk up and down $$1's ass. | /kick # $$1
/say ENEMAI OFT MI CHAR N DYE! | /me casts a Fireball that goes streaking across the channel at $$1 | /me watches as $$1's corporeal form is devoured in flame! | /kick # $$1
/me pulls out his portable chalkboard. | /me shows $$1 the function of relativity for chaos mathematics. | /me watches as $$1's brain shorts out with a puff of putrid smoke! | /kick # $$1
/say $$1 - what is your real name? | /say $$1 - what is your quest? | /say $$1 - what's the average air speed of a coconut laden swallow? | /kick # $$1
/me waves his hands and turns into Michael Jordan for a instant. | /say $$1 give me those Nike's! | /me leaves a court shoe print across $$1's face. | /kick # $$1
/me casts Otto's Irresistible Dance on $$1. | /me then casts Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter on $$1. | /me watches as $$1 laughs and dances off the channel. | /kick # $$1
/me grabs $$1's tongue and pulls it wayyyyy out. | /me takes out locking ring and loops it through $$1's tongue. | /me then fastens the ring to a Lotus Esprit and drives off. | /kick # $$1
/me becomes bored with $$1, cranks some tunes. | /me takes a dancing flower and shoves it up $$1's ass! | /me watches as $$1 goes through several interesting convulsions. | /kick # $$1
/me looks to his left...then to his right. | /me takes out a little black bag and points it at $$1 | /me watches as $$1 is attacked by a mob of pirhana clams!!! | /kick # $$1
/me notes $$1 has been poisoned!!!!! | /say hmmmm odorless.... tasteless..... hmmmmmm | /say aha! Iocane powder !!! | /kick # $$1
/say ENEMAI OFT MI SPIRU CRIE!!! | /me invokes $$1's worst nightmare from $$1's mind. | /me watches as $$1 is devoured by $$1's Rosanne Barr. | /kick # $$1
/me decides to use calculus on $$1. | /me takes the second derivative of $$1. | /me is astonished... he has just disproved $$1's existence!!! | /kick # $$1
/me reaches into one of his many pockets. | /me draws forth a wand with an emerald tip. | /me points the wand at $$1 and utters arcane words of power... | /kick # $$1
/me waves at $$1 with complex motions and changes his appearance. | /me turns $$1 into a really cool purple lamp shade with pink polka dots. | /say NOT | /kick # $$1
/say Ha $$1, so you think yourself my equal...hmmm... | /say But I have something I must tell you... | /say You see $$1, I am not left handed either. | /kick # $$1
/say Pawn jumps $$1. | /say Bishop jumps $$1. | /say It's good to be the king. | /kick # $$1
/me dumps a can of gasoline on $$1 | /me lights a match and tosses it. | /me laughs as $$1 turns squirms and smokes to a blackened crisp. | /kick # $$1
/me opens a cannister of liquid nitrogen. | /me dumps it all over $$1 | /me laughs $$1 become stiff, then shatter into thousands of gleaming shards. | /kick # $$1
/me pulls out a bottle of hydrocloric acid. | /me splashes it in $$1's face. | /me watches $$1 as skin runs in rivulets from bone until only a pool remains. | /kick # $$1
/me prays to the Gods of IRC for assistance. | /me watches for a sign... | /me laughs as $$1 is seared by lightning and torn asunder. | /kick # $$1
/me pulls out a finely engraved iron wrought long sword. | /me runs $$1 through and waits until $$1 stops gurgling. | /me then yanks the sword up through $$1's spine, rib cage, and lungs. | /kick # $$1
/me prays silently to the IRC Gods for assistance. | /me watches the skies for a sign... | /me laughs as the ground beneath $$1 shakes and splits open engulfing $$1. | /kick # $$1
/me calls upon the Daemon Primarch Mortarion to answer his summons. | /say now $$1 feel the wrath of the Prince of Plagues. | /me watches as $$1 dissolves into a mass of blisters and bleeding scars. | /kick # $$1
/me grabs $$1 by the neck and props $$1's mouth open. | /me stuffs large quantities of frozen ice cream bars down $$1's throat. | /me sets $$1 off to the side to admire his new full size PEZ distributor... | /kick # $$1
/me grabs $$1 by the neck and hooks $$1's upper jaw over his thumb. | /me takes careful aim while stretching $$1 wayyy out... | /me releases $$1... *twang* | /kick # $$1
/me grabs $$1 by the right nostril and pulls it wayyy out... | /me looks around for a suitable imple | /ment of devise for $$1... | /me grabs a running chainsaw and stuffs it up $$1's right nostril... | /kick # $$1
/me becomes a magical conduit between the Prime and Negative Material Planes... | /me then touches $$1, draining $$1's life essence away... | /say What life? He's on irc all the damn time! | /kick # $$1
/me pulls a small, deadly vial from his pocket. | /me breaks the vial over $$1's head... | /me laughs as $$1 suddenly turns into MiSTiK! | /kick # $$1
/me pulls out a sharp battle axe and slices off $$1's head.. | /me watches the head roll to the floor, covering $C with blood.. | /me slings the axe over his shoulder and laughs with murderous glee! | /kick # $$1
/me 'accidentally' bumps into $$1 on the observation deck at the Empire State Building.... | /me laughs as he watches $$1 go for the plunge.... | /kick # $$1
/me searches for a small explosive... | /me finds a half stick of dynamite... | /me blows $$1's ass out of the known world... | /me wishes $$1 pleasant dreams and a happy tomorrow... | /kick # $$1
/me puts $$1 into an electric chair and throws the switch..... | /kick # $$1
/me tosses $$1 into a microwave oven and sets the dial on 'HIGH'.... | /kick # $$1
/me picks up a cordless-drill with a paint-stripper... | /me decides that $$1 could REALLY use an enema... | /kick # $$1
/me ties a rope around the neck of $$1 and places him over the trap-door... | /kick # $$1
/me *** LAMER PROTECTION ENGAGED *** | /me Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeeeep! | /me Lamer spotted!! Lowering targets on the lamer! | /MSG $$1 Tag, your it! | /kick # $$1
/me loads a laser guided AARM-32b smartbomb into the F-16E. | /me watches as the sights level on $$1. | /msg $$1 look out below! | /me watches as the bomb hits $$1 and pounds him 20ft into the ground. | /kick # $$1
/me pulls the scalp off of $$1. | /me eats the scalp | /msg # Mmmmm! finger lickin' good!! | /kick # $$1
/me raises his arms to the sky and feels energy flow into his veins. | /me points his finger at $$1... | /me opens his hands and releases the energy at $$1 | /say
/me approaches $$1's swaying body. | /me takes hold of $$1's neck. | /me removes $$1's head and spine from it's body. | /say Rrrrrriiiiiiipppp!!! | /me turns $$1's head to show $$1 the lifeless body. | /kick  # $$1
/me removes his mask revealing his skull. | /me lets forth a stream of fire upon $$1's swaying body. | /say $$1 is engulfed by hellish flames. | /say
/me approaches $$1's fear paralyzed body. | /me thrusts his hand into $$1's chest. | /say $$1's rib cage is seperated. | /say
/me after executing a devastating flying kick, $$1's body sways. | /me approaches $$1 and glances at his target. | /me hurls himself through the air, cartwheeling towards $$1. | /me swings his harm and makes shattering contact with $$1's jaw. | /say
/me looks into $$1's eyes. | /me approaches $$1 with lightning speed. | /me pauses to look one last time at $$1 panic stricken face. | /say THOCK | /me punches $$1 head from $$1's neck with inhuman strength. | /kick  # $$1
/me puts on his black hood. | /me escorts $$1 to the guillotine. | /say Any final requests before the blade drops? | /say No ? Good! | /kick # $$1
/me spits out a wad of chewing tobacco | /say *pbpbth* | /say Listen $$1, we don't like yer kind around here... | /say so git on out er we'll throw yuh out! | /kick # $$1
/me decides to get REALLY liquored up! | /me grabs a shotgun and takes pot shots at passing clouds. | /me is waaayyyy too drunk, though, and starts taking out other objects in his vicinity. | /kick # $$1 Blam!  Blam!  Blam!  Whoops!  Oh well...Blam!
/me grabs $$1 by his little dick. | /me pulls hard and swings $$1 around the channel. | /me swings faster until $$1 's dick snaps off. | /me watches as $$1 flies off the channel. | /kick # $$1 Forgot your mushroom cap!
/me and $$1 are waiting at the bus stop. | /me watches as the bus approaches... | /me nudges $$1 out into traffic before the bus can stop. | /kick # $$1 You gonna eat this lunch?
/me hates violence. | /me hates violent people, too. | /me thinks that $$1 is too violent. | /me grabs $$1 by the neck and lifts $$1 off the ground. | /me shoves his fist through $$1 's midsection. | /me head-butts his surprised face before dropping $$1 to the floor. | /kick # $$1 I'm a nice guy, really.
/me decides to build a fire. | /me takes the first dead wood he sees and throws $$1 in the pit. | /me covers $$1 with gasoline and strikes a match. | /me doesn't seem to hear $$1 squealing like a pig for mercy as he drops the match. | /kick # $$1 Poof! Hmm... Charbroil! My favorite!
/me looks bored. | /me decides to interest himself by mangling $$1. | /me shoves his fist into $$1 's chest and pulls out a handful of capillaries. | /me begins knitting a sweater. | /kick # $$1 Knit One, Pearl Two....
/me takes out a bloodstained axe and acquires an evil grin | /say >:)=) | /me lifts the axe high above $$1's head... | /kick # $$1
/me suggests that $$1 do his Kurt Cobain impression. | /me watches as $$1 props a shotgun to his mouth and blows his brains out. | /me waits for three days before an electrician finds $$1 and throws him out. | /kick # $$1 That's not teen spirit you smell.....
/me wonders how well $$1 would work as a conductor. | /me ties $$1 to the base of a lightning rod. | /me is pleased as a storm starts brewing and lightning strikes the rod. | /me takes notes as $$1 's nervous system becomes a superconductor. | /kick # $$1 For the good of science, not you.
/me wonders where $$1 really came from. | /me does a smathering of research, only to discover that the best part of $$1 ran down some whore's leg. | /kick # $$1 We can always try again later, honey.
/me thinks $$1 whines too much. | /me thinks $$1 does more whining than Gallo. | /me suggests $$1 go visit California to be with the other cheap whines. | /kick # $$1 I hate whine...
/me smells something terrible. | /me figures out that it's $$1 who smells like a dead elephant on a hot summer's day. | /me decides to send $$1 to the cleaners. | /kick # $$1 Put it on my tab.
/me watches too much Mr. Wizard. | /me decides to try an experiment. | /say Now $$1 you hold this putty, while I hook up these wires.... | /me feigns shock as $$1 's ass is blown into next week. | /kick # $$1 For my next experiment....
/me has always been fascinated by Don Herbert. | /me wants to try an experiment with $$1. | /me wants to monitor the brain levels of a moron. | /me frowns at the results. | /kick # $$1 What was I thinking?  Need a brain first.
/me tries to find where $$1 beings and where $$1 ends. | /me notices the circle that $$1 's body makes from neck, to ass, to neck again. | /me has never seen a life-form on this low of the food chain. | /kick # $$1 T'was a mercy killing.
/me waves an ancient druid sceptre over $$1 | /me chants "KLATU! VERATTA! NIKTU!" | /me waits as nothing happens | /me says "Fuck this" and busts the sceptre up $$1's ass | /kick # $$1 That's GOTTA hurt!
