Courtnee from http://phuqed.darkillustrated.org

This month Dr. Bastard interviews webmaster, musician, and hot little bitch Courtnee.
Sorry, perves, Nee's taken..

* Full name and age:

Courtnee Fallon Papastathis. i am 20, but i feel more like 150. 6 more months and i can finally drink legally. ill bet my father just cant wait for that.

* So, is Whitey still acting like your daddy?

nah i whipped that bitch into shape real good. between the dishes the
garbage and servicing yours truly he doesnt have time to act like my daddy, least not in *that* sense. he hasnt been feeling too well lately so i decided to give a little up for him. get well soon baby!

* Why would you want to be interviewed on www.killuglytv.com?

ive seen some of the other interviews you've done and really liked the
questions and the thought you put into them.. i dig the site, band and
mental ward a lot too. and well, the vagina thing.. there are just no words
to describe the beauty of it, but really im just a ham and wanted to be on
the same site as all this cool shit.

* Describe your music to a deaf person:

NOT APPLICABLE
... in more ways than one!

* Ok, now just describe your music:

songs to slit your wrists to. or at the very least, go to sleep to. i think
the term most use is ambient, but as far as i understand ambient is meant to
be background noise, and i prefer people actually LISTEN to it. another
popular term is trance, but it sure as shit aint like the trance i listen
to. the easiest way ive found to describe it is in singular words and
phrases, so:

airy
flowing
romanic
passionate
powerful
somber
wicked (preterition)
inspiring (IR)

.. its a rather clear reflection of myself. or at least, part of me.

* Favorite ice cream?

rocky road

* Seeing that you're Greek, you into that whole assf*cking thing?

two words: exit only. and yes, ive tried it. people insist on f*ckin telling
me i dont know what im missing (its amazing how often assf*cking comes up in
my channel) but somehow the nagging feeling that i have to take a big greasy
dump doesnt appeal to me.. and thats just referring to the few hours after
the fact. nope, no assf*cking for me.

* How much $$ on you right now?

i think i have a dime in my little power puff girls coin purse. i very
rarely carry cash on me. thats what they make ATMs for! i do it in an effort
to hinder my spending habits, but im an online shopping f*ckin junkie and
end up pissing it away through my visa check card instead. its so GIRLIE!
how GROSS!

* Ever done a chick? Are you open to the situation?

mmm.. chick. *drool*

ive done quite a few chicks actually. f*cked, sucked, kissed, fondled.. they
really are lovely things, women are. lovely.. lovely (play)things.

* You go through a lot of hair styles, why you wanna keep f*cking with your hair?

i am a dynamic person. since my music/art/design talents dont really range
all that much in styles, my outlet for a lot of my creativity (and emotional
distress) is my hair, and clothes.. but thats another story. its actually
incredibly healthy and soft for how much shit i do to it. my next step is to
shave it. if i have the balls.. its going to be streamed live from
http://chat.msn.com (i am a server tester there) if we can actually get it
planned and implemented in time. ill update my site with the day and time if
it actually works out, but you know, this is MS we're talking about.. so
dont count on it. :) the poll i have on my site is leaning towards growing
it out.. but i really doubt ill do that. if nothing else ill color it again.
and again. and again.

* What kind of guitar do you have? What kind do you want?

i have two guitars actually, three if you count the acoustic that i left in sacramento when i moved to seattle. one is a sunburst hamer electric 'slammer series' that my lovely daddy got me when i was almost 15.. (HI DAD!!) and the other i actually have here is a black fender strat that whitey got me for christmas of '98 (he was sucking up big time)

my acoustic is a big fat yamaha bass guitar thing. its about twice the size as is ideal for my frame but i f*cking love the hell out of it. when i fly
down to visit my dad at the end of may im going to repossess it, since im
driving back up.

* What drugs have you done in your short time here on this planet?

lets see. alcohol, weed, soma, vicoden, acid, shrooms, heroin, morphine,
advil, tylenol, asprin, melatonin, speed, nicotine, coke, st. johns wart,
dxm, n2o, mda, mdma, k, hijklmnop.. and about 50 other things of which i
either didnt know what it was or dont quite remember well enough to state
right now. whats even more disturbing than how many kinds of drugs ive done
in my life is sheer amount ive ingested. ive done enough shit to kill a herd
of elephants. the world is lucky to have me! *chortle*

* What are your opinions of the drugs you've tried?

speed is evil. pure evil. all it will do is totally f*ck you up. after being
hooked on it for years i absolutely refuse to touch the shit.

alcohol, also evil. if any drug has ever ruined my life, its alcohol.. but i
still drink in moderation. i personally think the whole theory 'once an
alcoholic always an alcoholic' is a crock of festering shit. i have a handle
on it now. huh huh.. really.

coke is a f*cking waste of money. the high sucks the comedown gives me a
sinus infection. its another drug that i certainly dont seek out much.

E is for everyone. everyone everyone. tis a beautiful memory killing thing.

acid is ok, i loved it for quite a while but its too easy for me to end up
in a bad trip cause im such a depressed f*ck. ill only do it when paired
with e now.

n2o is the bomb. alone, with e, with acid.. whatever. it just rules, and its
legal to buy.

pretty much everything else i dont have too much of an opinion about. its
fun, it has its time and place, and in moderation i could give less than a
shit. except for dxm. that stuff is just weird.

* Favorite drug:

e. definitely.

* Gun control, yes or no?

maybe. i really havent thought about it too much, but i know that if i feel
i need or want to have a gun then god damnit i better be able to get one. at
this point i think the waiting period is a bit of bullshit and a bit of
realism.. at least if someone wants to go shoot their wife or something
they've gotta wait a few days and think about it first. once they figure out
how to keep the guns away from the bad people and load me up with them ill
be happy, but i dont lose sleep over trying to figure out how.

* Done much traveling? Tell us about it..

kinda. i go to vegas every year for defcon.. been to arizona a few times, all over california, maryland, virginia.. DC (what a f*cking pit that place is) new york, jersey.. oklahoma (dont ask) idaho, oregon.. all sorts of shitty places. to really tell you about it would take up WAY too much time, so ill just say that ive never been out of the country, but would like to see the world at some point.

* Why does today's music suck so much f*cking cock?

cause kurt shot his face off. seriously, thats when music really started to
suck. it was good for about two years after that but was slowly declining..
now the industry is grabbing at straws picking out the f*cking LAMEST people
to throw on stage because they can shake their ass and look halfway decent
when made up like a f*cking streetwhore. forget the fact that they cant
f*cking sing or look like child molesters. even worse than that they try to
play off sex appeal too, when i guarantee you none of those teeny bopper
shits can f*ck half as well as i do. i will rape you with a chainsaw one
day, spears. you just wait.

* You used to do some stuff on www.stileproject.com, what happened?

stiles a f*cking idiot, thats what happened. although that fact isnt
breaking news or anything.

* How should we punish Mike Patton for not answering our f*cking questions?

tell him you wont be his friend any more. then burn his house down.

* Favorite CD right now:

moby - play

* Ever had sex on the rag?

oh yes. not only is it more enjoyable for me, we dont have to use much lube!

* Why are people so f*cking dumb?

because they can be? dumb is propelled by dumbness which is propelled by
more dumbness. you got some guy whos dumb but can bullshit to another dumb
person into getting themselves a smart job and a smart partner and a smart
dog then you've got a dumb family ready to make more dumb people. simple,
really.

for the record, i am not dumb. nor do i plan on having a family.

* Do you like the smell of your own farts?

mm.. not usually, but i do tend to enjoy them a bit when it makes my
officemate sneer and bat at the air in front of his face.

* Favorite sexual position and why?

thats a toughie. i would say right now that i prefer the dog, which is
actually kinda odd cause a year ago i refused to do the nasty in that
fashion.. but it kinda sucks now that i have my hood piercing. makes it
kinda hard to give myself a hand if you know what i mean.

* Favorite part of your site:

the guestbook. the best and worst of my site all wrapped into one stinkin
html file.

* When was the last time you cried, and why?

three days ago. no real reason, i just cry a lot lately.

* Ever kick Whitey in the balls?

no.. i would prefer to keep those in working order. i have however kicked
other people in the balls. none lately, however. thanks for reminding me.

* Bra size:

depends on the time of the month. usually i can squeeze into a 34A, but
around 'that time' i fill out a B, which is another reason why sex on the
rag is cool. ive got bigger sexier hooters! im pretty much right in between
the two cups. i can wear either.

* Favorite movies:

the fifth element, 2001, matrix.. i like lots of scifi shit. house on
haunted hill was cool until the end, and i LOVED the iron giant. that movie
was so cute.

* Favorite book:

hah! you actually think i read? i guess it would have to be snowcrash, by
neal stephenson.. since thats the only book other than o'reilly books ive
touched in the last 4 years.

* Favorite food:

PASTA PASTA PASTA! (and bread. dont forget the bread.)

* Favorite dildo:

well, its not really a dildo but i think it counts.. my 'cyberskin sex
collection' set. which is actually a pretty silver vibrator with a bunch of
skin-like sheaths to put over it. i like it a lot, but i think im allergic
to the damn rubber they use. my second fave would have to be 'the tool',
although i really prefer vibrators over dildos.

* Most embarrassing moment:

i dont think i actually have one. OH! yes, here we go..

when i was younger i wanted boobs real bad. stuffed the shit out of my bras
and swimsuits. the materials i used ranged from shoulder pads and cotton
balls to zip-lock bags filled with hair conditioner and tied off with a
rubber band. damn, i was a creative kid. one time i even filled up condoms
with water and walked around with a size DD chest (i was about 5'6" and 90
pounds.) until one of them popped as i was walking down the street. at least
it was the middle of july. i called my boobs 'stuffies'.

when i was in 7th grade, i went to a public pool with my shoulder pad/cotton
stuffies in a one piece swimsuit. i was doing pretty good until a friend of
mine suggested the highdive. me being the darling little thing i was, i
decided to try it. on my way down i crossed my arms over my chest and heald
on REAL f*cking tight. turned out that my stuffies stayed put! so, i went
back again.

this time i wasnt so lucky. i hit the water pretty hard and hung down there
for a minute, quickly realizing my chest was a bit colder than it had been
before i jumped. sure enough, my tits were gone. i opened my eyes and looked
up to the surface of the water and watched my cotton balls drift up.

i stayed under as long as i possibly could. did the frog swimming thing
underwater over to the ladder.. and man, this f*cking public pool was PACKED
with people. i hoisted myself out, bending over so that the shirt i had been
wearing over my suit was hanging off my shoulders, leaving some air between
it and my chest.. hoping no one would notice that i no longer had breasts,
and those cotton balls were mine.

i ran over to the 3ft area of the other pool and cannonballed in, hiding. next
thing you know one of the lifegaurds walks over and plucks one of my f*ckin
shoulderpads out of the water, about 4 feet away from where im standing.
some girl looks up at her and asks 'whats THAT?'.. and the lifegaurd turns
to me and says 'SOMEONE lost their boob.'

after the girl stopped screaming "EEEWWWWW!!!" i just got out of the pool
and left. it took me months to get back the nerve to return.

* Favorite recorded song that you have written:

preterition. by far. for those who cant f*ckin hear, the lyric is 'you'll be
sorry when im gone'.

* If I was Madonna for a day, I'd:

hrm, thats actually kind hard. i would say, since i wont have the
opportunity otherwise.. i would go perform in concert.

* Actor/actress in dire need of a bitch slap:

oh man the list goes on and on.. but ill be brief

males:

brad pitt. f*cking egotiscital shit. but he can act, at least.
tom cruise

females:

that saggy eyed little tramp from 'disturbing behavior'
denise richards

* Why can't asian women drive?

other than being dumb, and most not knowing how to f*cking speak english.. i
would say its because they're too god damn short.

on a side note: why the f*ck are you allowed to take your driving test in
spanish if all the fucking road signs are in english? its true man, at least
in california.

* Will you ever show your boobies on your site?

i have actually. catch me when im really drunk on cam.

* Critique www.killuglytv.com:

take some of the damn banners off, and make the font on the left toolbar a
bit bigger. other than that, keep kicking ass.

* Site you think sucks dick:

i dont really go to sites that suck, and try not to note them anyway. here
are some people who suck, though:

http://www.devilgrl.com
http://www.billn.net
http://www.stileproject.com
http://www.anacam.com

* Favorite swear word:

fuck, and all its variations.

* Any last words?

nah.

E-mail Courtnee Here and go visit her site http://phuqed.darkillustrated.org