The Great ID Chip Ho-Ho-Hoax

We can be jolly about it now - but will we be laughing a year from now?

by Claire Wolfe

     © 1999 by Claire Wolfe                                                                                  Artwork © 1999 by Jim Blanchard

     Would you like Santa to bring you a beautiful signet ring with an electronic chip inside that'll let you interface with computers and computerized security systems? Thousands of good little techno-boys and girls will be getting them this year. They're a bit beyond the capability of his workshop elves, so Santa will probably buy them from Dallas Semiconductor (www.ibutton.com), just as you can.

     Instead of that, how about an electronic chip implanted right in your hand? Plus you get 250 bucks, to boot! Cool, huh?

     A lot of people thought it was cool when they saw the offer of a chip and $250 sign-up bonus on the World Wide Web. Without a pause, they sent their Social Security numbers and credit card info to a company called Global Monetary.

     Still others dropped into the Global Monetary site from government agencies and mega-technology companies.

     Media types - some whose names you might recognize - clamored for interviews about the new product.

     Still others who saw the chip-and-bucks offer thought they'd just met the Antichrist - the Biblical Beast who "causeth all, both small and great… to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads; and that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark…" Those folks (and there were a lot of them) howled in horror. And howled, and howled.

     But things weren't quite as they seemed - to anybody. In short, Santa might bring you the ring this Christmas. You'll have to wait a year or two for the chip. But the tale can be told right now…

     Armageddon got underway Tuesday, August 17, 1999, when 17-year-old Eric Fisher posted a message to Internet newsgroups specializing in religious prophecy. The message read, "Oh my!!!!!! www.idchip.com/s1/main.htm. The URL led to Global Monetary.

     The Antichrist - better known as Eric's grown-up friend Bill Cross - was as surprised as anyone when the message hit the 'net. Global Monetary was his creation. But he wasn't ready for the world to know. What followed was as if "…the President of the United States came out of the shower to find that his drinkin' buddy had started World War III."

     What caused all the fuss? At first appearance, a legitimate, if ominous, new company.

     Visitors to the GM site found messages like this in impeccable Corporatespeak:

     Global Monetary LLP is a closely held partnership with over $5 billion in assets. Our primary goal is to establish a secure and affordable means of engaging in transactions both over the Internet and in person. It has made a bold leap into the field of subdermal implants to build such a system. Global Monetary's lack of hesitation in this regard firmly establishes it as the leader in this field going forward.

     They offered smooth assurances about their product:

     The IDchip™ implant is a very small electronic device that is painlessly implanted into the tissue of your right palm. It leaves no scar and is not visible in any way. You will not be able to feel it in your hand, as the device is mostly soft, flexible plastic. It will never need to be removed as it is continually recharged by the proprietary mouse. People have been made frightened of such devices by television programs etc., but there is no justifiable reason for concern. Pacemaker heart implants (which involve a much more invasive installation process) have no such stigma associated with them. And birth control implants have been used successfully for years.      Global Monetary showed an x-ray of one of their products in place. They advertised on-line for staff members. And this leading edge "true virtual company" dangled that most tempting of all temptations - hotter than sex at the time - an initial public stock offering (IPO), with shares available to everyone who signed up for a chip.

     Right from the beginning, however, some items on the Global Monetary site went "clunk" - as they were intended to. The company claimed offices in, "Seattle, Zurich, Nairobi, Montevideo and Singapore and… headquarters in Bentonville, AR."

     Bentonville, Arkansas?

     Chief financial officer was listed as "Malcolm J. Rothschild."

     Rothschild?

     They were somewhat more than vague about how the chip would be implanted and how it interfaced with GM's "proprietary mouse."

     Instead of using a secure server to collect Social Security and credit card numbers, their implant application form ominously warned that Global Monetary would not be responsible for third parties who might intercept and maliciously use personal data.

A number of beastly e-mails

     Members of the first newsgroups to receive Eric's message debunked Global Monetary immediately. Whether spoof or scam, they recognized it wasn't real - as Bill Cross had always expected.

     But some forwarded the URL to friends, who forwarded it to friends… and that's when you could almost spot the four horsemen thundering over the horizon.

     As Bill later wrote:

     On the first full day of operation the site had more that 4,200 distinct user sessions averaging 6 minutes each. I felt like I was one of those scientists in the movies who is witnessing a plague that's spreading out of control… I was glad that the site was drawing interest but I was concerned that people were taking it way too seriously.

     In this very short time, e-mails were pouring in from hysterical Christians and privacy enthusiasts who thought it was for real….

     My imaginary corporate executive was getting interview requests from the major media (and from lots of minor media). One of the big, serious national newsmagazines wanted specs on the chip… [A] national television network which focuses on privacy and religious issues wanted to interview my imaginary C.F.O., Malcolm Rothschild. (Rothschild who everybody wanted to interview. They were chomping at the bit to actually talk to a member of the Rothschild family, which has been associated with just about every conspiracy theory to come down the pike.)

     Eventually, I realized that I was getting another kind of visitor to the site: People who actually wanted to receive the mark of the beast just to get in on the IPO. I was totally blind-sided by that. I never expected that to happen. (Granted, most applicants were just jokers or people who wanted to spy on the company; others were not.) I soon removed from the application form the fields where people were volunteering sensitive information like credit card numbers.

     By the end of the second full day, the site had more that 6,800 distinct user sessions per day. The hate mail… was overwhelming me and taking a toll on my spirit.

Typical letters read:      You are one very dangerous organization that needs to be dissolved. You gift wrap your sinister motives and basically you want to control each and every person. Apparently you think we are a world of idiots that don't see through you like tracing paper. And:      PLEASE!!! Whoever is reading this have your implant removed and confess Jesus Christ as your personal LORD AND SAVIOR - do not give into the lies of the Spirit of the Antichrist!!!! This implant is dangerous!!! Your ETERNAL Soul is at stake!!! I implore you to remove yourself from association with this organization IMMEDIATELY!!! Get Rid of your implant before it is too late!!! Do it while you have time!!! Go to your nearest Doctor and have them remove it!!! DO not Help the Antichrist any longer!!      On Thursday, the second day of the hoax, Bill added a lighthearted confession to the GM site. But he hid it behind a blurb about gullibility. Most visitors missed it. By then, he says, he was:      …very stressed. I was only getting about 2 hours of sleep a night. The scariest thing to me was the feeling that I was under attack by the whole world. There were end-timers who wanted my head; there were privacy and computer people who were trying to uncover my real identity and location. There were people accessing files that were supposed to be password protected. And while so many viewed me as some giant fire-breathing beast corporation, I was feeling like the Wizard of Oz when he was desperately trying to keep Toto from tearing the curtain down. And in the end, I did just what he did. I came clean.      Global Monetary had been in business just three days when Bill cried a loud, electronic "Uncle!" You'll still find Global Monetary on the Web at http://www.idchip.com - but now you'll have to go through Bill's unmistakable explanations to reach it.

     Bill also purged all the personal data left by chip-holder wannabes. But by then, someone had already hacked the database.

Look who came to visit!

     The vehement reaction to Global Monetary encourages Bill to believe that such an ID chip will never be accepted in the U.S. - though he expects it probably will be in Asia or other parts of the world.

     Still, he was stunned when he looked at his site logs and discovered the top ten sources of visitors:

     "At the very least it is a testament to the quality of the spoof," he admits. "I also think it's safe to say that those institutions are very vigilant when it comes to new technology. It would be speculation to say that any of these companies are researching technologies which are similar to the ID chip, but if anyone out there is doing it, I think they are probably on that list."

     But isn't it possible these are just the results of computer nerds (known for their weird senses of humor) passing the Global Monetary URL to their work buddies?

     "But don't technoids work for Proctor and Gamble and Kellogg's and Exxon, too? Why did none of these companies show up in the logs? I think it's really weird that an obscure post goes from the biblical prophecy pages straight to the U.S. military as a natural course of events."

     Bill - an otherwise respectable young man with a degree in physics, a history of Bible scholarship, and a band that sometimes gets air time on Dr. Demento - originally concocted the hoax because, "I am obsessed with weird religious things… I am obsessed with the cult mentality, which I think you can find in members of churches that are not generally considered cults. I consider the Baptists just as much a cult as the Moonies. I see little difference other than their level of acceptance by society."

     But observing the fuss over Global Monetary, he adds:

     "I think people have a legit concern over anything like the IDchip. Big time. I hate the whole concept of not being able to engage in transactions anonymously. Whether or not it will happen, that's another question. I think if it did happen, it could be done the same way my company did it. The IPO got a lot of interest. IPO hysteria is even stronger than religious hysteria in this country. I can tell you one thing, the force that will try to move us toward the ID chip or its equivalent will be the rising problem of identity theft. There is a growing need by businesses for an ironclad one-person-one-number system of ID. And of course the government technocrats always want that sort of thing for tax and law-enforcement purposes."      Would he do it all again? "The notion of doing another hoax bugs me," he concludes, "although I just thought up some doozies. I think I'll write them down and forget about them."

Why so much craziness?

     Why would so many people accept a spoof that was so transparent even a cursory look would set off hoax-alarm bells? Probably a combination of reasons. Some are merely human - one is inhumanly spooky.

     Haste - Speed alone is a huge culprit. Web site visitors typically skim, rather than read, copy. They may never get beyond the first few paragraphs of articles. Most of the dead-giveaway material on the Global Monetary site was on subsidiary pages.

     Uncritical thinking - The problem of uncritical acceptance of information is so prevalent on the 'net - with its e-mail networks forever churning with URGENT NOTICES of non-existent computer viruses, URGENT PLEAS for help for non-existent cancer patients, URGENT ALERTS about non-existent legislation and URGENT WARNINGS that your kidneys might be harvested next time you get drunk at a party - that some wit created yet one more URGENT notice. He warned of a Gullibility Virus that causes otherwise intelligent people to believe (and circulate) every nutty rumor they receive.

     Trust - Honest people tend to believe others are telling the truth.

     Building on misperception - In his book How We Know What Isn't So, Thomas Gilovich describes how people tend to misinterpret incomplete data. We may give special credence to data that confirms our biases, while rejecting or ignoring data that might disprove what we believe (or wish) to be true. The person who wished for Global Monetary's $250 reward had no motive to confirm it wasn't for real. The person who believes the end times are upon us benefits (even if in a frightening way) by finding evidence to support his convictions.

     Gilovich also notes that we may selectively accept false or irrelevant data if it supports our biases. For instance, idchip.com wasn't listed at Network Solutions (http://www.networksolutions.com), the company that registers and maintains ownership records for Internet domains. Those who believed Global Monetary to be a hoax saw the non-listing as a sure indication of fakery. Those who believed GM to be part of a vast, international conspiracy assumed that "Malcolm J. Rothschild" and his fellow elitists had managed to have their ownership of the site suppressed. In reality, the non-listing was nothing but a fluke - an error of chance.

     There are a lot of "dumb human tricks" behind the hysteria over Global Monetary's ID chip. But the scariest reason has nothing to do with failure of mental alertness. It's:

     Because reality is galloping up on hoaxes - Sure, Global Monetary was a fake. But something like it is on the horizon. Already, many of us try to ensure the safety of our pets with scannable chip implants, available at nearly every vet's office. Similar systems have been proposed to help recover lost or kidnapped children.

     On October 11, 1998, the Times of London reported:

     007 implant to protect kidnap targets
     by Maurice Chittenden and David Lloyd

     This is the bleep that says: "Rescue me." A microchip under the skin that can help to locate hostages is being marketed to combat one of the world's biggest growth industries - there were a record 1,407 abductions for ransom worldwide last year, up 60% since 1990.

     The victim's "little helper" uses natural body energy with James Bond-style technology devised by scientists working for Israeli intelligence.

     Space satellites will follow the bleep to detect a victim's movements or hiding place. The information will then be relayed to a control center to be used for a rescue operation.

     And on August 25 of the same year came this news - also from England, which seems to be a world center for surveillance mania. As reported by http://www.abcnews.com::

Professor Gets Chip Transplant

     Professor Kevin Warwick claimed today to be the first person in the world to have a computer chip surgically implanted into his body.

     Professor Warwick told a press conference that a glass capsule about 23 millimeters long and 3 millimeters wide containing an electromagnetic coil and a silicon chip was inserted into his arm on Monday…

     Warwick is head of the Cybernetics Department at the University of Reading. He demonstrated the chip in action by walking through the front door of his department.

     "Good morning Professor Warwick. You have five new e-mails," said a computerized voice activated by the inserted chip. The human as computer had many applications, but also dangers, Warwick said.

Chips for gun control?
"Possibilities could be that anyone who wanted access to a gun could do so only if they had one of these implants. Then if they actually try and enter a school or building that doesn't want them in there, the school computer would sound alarms and warn people inside or even prevent them having access," Warwick said in an interview…      And then there is the harmless signet ring that opened this article. Few people would doubt that it's quite a whiz-bang little tool. But one need only look at some processes already in action to wonder how much time we really have before the chip-bearing ring morphs into an implant.

     In the wake of the Littleton massacre, USA Weekend - a cheery supplement that may come with your Sunday paper - displayed many new security methods, supposedly to prevent future Littletons. One school was planning to control access to its buildings by giving students that nice little ring. The ring (and the computers it interfaced with) would determine who could, and couldn't get into the school.

     So what happens? Well, in Littleton, the shootings began outside the school. The ring couldn't prevent that. In Littleton, the shooters were students themselves. They'd have easily gotten into the building using their student rings. Not to mention that disgruntled students might give their rings to mayhem-bound comrades. Not to mention that anyone intent on schoolyard mayhem wouldn't hesitate for a second to rip off a student's ring - or ring finger.

     So the ring does nothing for security - and even leads to further harm. Then eventually, some copycat concocts "Littleton, The Sequel." What do the school administrators do then? Instead of saying, "Hm… maybe we ought to examine why government schools evoke such hostility…" or, "It's time our kids and teachers prepared for armed self-defense…" they say:

"Hey, I know. Let's put the chips INSIDE…" And: "Hey, think of all the OTHER things you can store on an implant. Health records, credit, criminal history… wow!"      And it's bye bye privacy, individuality and free movement forever. Hello Total Control. And that, unfortunately, is no hoax.

     Claire Wolfe is the author of the very popular 101 Things to do 'til the Revolution, , and Don't Shoot the Bastards (Yet), as well as several other articles.

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