Ban The Bible?

While the fundamentalists and the so-called Christian conservatives in this country have had a field day when it’s come to censoring everything from rock and/or rap albums to movies to magazines -- especially magazines like Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler -- to books to television and everything else in between, they’ve never been heard advocating the censoring of their own Bible, although there are several parts of the Bible that would be considered “pornographic” by these same groups if they had read them in, say Hustler magazine. Over ten years ago, for example, the Pennsylvania state legislature proposed the following [rock] label:

WARNING: May contain explicit lyrics descriptive of or advocating one or more of the following: suicide, incest, bestiality, sadomasochism, sexual activity in a violent context, murder, morbid violence, illegal use of drugs or alcohol. PARENTAL ADVISORY!

Now suppose that, instead of rock albums, the legislature proposed that the same label be put on the Bible. Not possible, you say? The Bible doesn’t talk about subjects like that? Well, as a matter of fact, the Bible does talk about, a lot about, subjects like that. In fact, the Bible features sex and violence as a recurring theme in both the Old and the New Testament. So, it wouldn’t be hard to see someone proposing that this same “warning” label be put on all copies of the Bible. (It might be interesting to note here that the National Freedom From Religion Foundation once produced warning labels for its 30,000 members to use on any Bibles inflicted on them by hotel managers and the like. The label read: WARNING! Literal beliefs in this book may endanger your health and life!)

Anyway, the “label” might read something like this (with a Bible verse or verses, quoted from the King James version, that coincide with the subjects listed):

WARNING: May contain explicit “verses” descriptive of or advocating one or more of the following:

Suicide: “Then said Saul unto his armourbearer, Draw thy sword, and thrust me through therewith; lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and abuse me. But his armourbearer would not; for he was sore afraid. Therefore Saul took a sword, and fell upon it.

“And when his armourbearer saw that Saul was dead, he fell likewise upon his sword, and died with him.” (I Samuel 31:4-5)

Incest: “And Lot went up to Zo’ar, and dwelt in the mountains, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zo’ar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.

“And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:

“Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

“And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

“And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

“And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

“Thus were both daughters of Lot with child by their father.” (Genesis 19:30-36)

Bestiality: “Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.” (Exodus 22.19)

Sadomasochism: “And when the daughter of the said Hero’dias came in, and danced, and pleased Herod and them that sat with him, the king said unto the damsel, Ask of me whatsoever thou wilt, and I will give it thee.

“And he sware unto her, Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me, I will give it thee, unto the half of my kingdom.

“And she went forth, and said unto her mother, What shall I ask? And she said, The head of John the Baptist.

“And she came in straightway with haste unto the king, and asked, saying, I will that thou give me by and by in a charger the head of John the Baptist.

“And the king was exceeding sorry; yet for his oath’s sake, and for their sakes which sat with him, he would not reject her.

“And immediately the king sent an executioner, and commanded his head to be brought: and he went and beheaded him in prison.

“And brought his head in a charger, and gave it to the damsel: and the damsel gave it to her mother.” (Mark 6:22-28)

Sexual activity in a violent context: “But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die:

“But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter:

“For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.” (Deuteronomy 22:25-27)

Murder: “And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.” (Genesis 4:8)

Morbid violence: “And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel.” (Judges 19:29)

Illegal use of drugs or alcohol: “And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

“And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.” (Genesis 9:21-22)

Still say it’s not possible? There were some subjects that could’ve been added on, like homosexuality (“For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet.” (Romans 1:26-27)) and voyeurism (“And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.” (II Samuel 11:2)), for example. And I wonder, would the Pennsylvania state legislature (or Tipper Gore or Jesse Helms or any other anti-free speech, pro-censorship politician) censor the following: “For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange women is a narrow pit” (Proverbs 23:27)? Or how about this one: “They two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies” (The Song of Solomon 4:5)?

Or if they were in a 2 Live Crew record!

And tell me, what other book has caused more unjust persecution, death and destruction than the Bible (do the Salem Witch Trials and the Inquisitions come to mind?)? Am I advocating that the Bible be censored or even banned? No, of course not. What I am saying, though, is that if these self-described “defenders of the righteous” keep up with their pro-censorship tactics, it could backfire on them.