Ritual Abuse Information for Survivors and Supporters
These pages have been written for survivors, and their supporters, of ritual abuse. It is also general education and a summary. The pages has a focus on the Australian situation and resources.
It has been written by David, an Australian, long term ritual abuse survivor. He has done extensive public education on the issue including national television. He also has on going support with other survivors and people concerned about the issue.
What is Ritual Abuse?
Ritual abuse is abuse done within a secretive and gratuitous organisation that practices killing, orgies and other very destructive activities. This is its specific aspect. Other activities are organised child and adult pornography, prostitution, human trade, etc and which are similar to general organized crime. They generally are organised as cults and small groups, and abuse anti-societal religions/ideologies such as satanism, nazism, druidism etc or pervert mainstream religions/ideologies such as Christianity and Masonry. The abuse can be current and/or from suffering its effects.Main Issues
The main issues that come up with ritual abuse are understanding the cults/organizations, who believes in its existence, what general recovery from the abuse means and specifically the deprogramming or stopping brainwashing, what support there is for victims/survivors, and what support there is for supporters eg loved ones, non offending family, friends, counsellors, etc.Safety:To read about safety and other guidelines when reading these pages.
Ritual Abuse Cults/Organisations: Their Aims. Extent.The Abuse/Criminality. Indoctrination What is a ritual abuse cult/organization? What style and formation do they take? What does it try and do? Where abouts are they? How large are they? What is the abuse, and how is it criminal? How does the cult/organization indoctrinate its members?
Belief In Its Existence: Who believes that ritual abuse cults/organizations exist? How did they come to believe it? Why these people are important in getting support.
Recovery: What is the recovery process and its stages?
Deprogramming:-Undoing and Coping with the Brainwashing. What is the specific deprogramming process in the recovery?
Crisis Periods: What are crisis periods and why do they occur? A calendar of cult/organization call back periods. Ways of stopping the stress.
External Stressors: Survivors get triggered by external stressors such as exams, parenting, travelling, etc. There needs to be a perspective on what needs to be deprogrammed.
Support for Victims/Survivors: Where you/the survivor can get support in Australia and use overseas resources such as the Internet. This includes counselling; support groups; survivor community groups; media- books/magazines, videos, cassettes and internet; workshops and conferences; etc.
Support for Supporters: Where a supporter such as a friend, parent, counsellor, etc can get support in Australia and use overseas resources such as the Internet.
Safety
The information in these pages may be triggering and overwhelming. Please read at a pace that supports you.
If you feel overwhelmed, are starting to have flashbacks, feel nauseous, etc, take time out and come back when you feel refreshed. Recovery is a process that you can control. You can also ring a friend, and talk about it with a therapist/counsellor.
If you feel angered about the abuse, confront the perpetrator/s, ring the media, tell a person in responsibility, ring a community group, etc. Show your anger and concern.
Ritual Abuse Cults/Organizations
Ritual abuse is done primarily within small groups. These consist of cults, quasi 'religious' or 'community' groups etc with a dogmatic leader/s. They are organized locally into regions. Each leader networks with other similar groups both nationally and internationally.
The groups consist of a small number of people. The numbers can range from four to four hundred or even larger. They are kept small for control. The numbers can also correspond to the general population size in an area. Eg in a small country town, they would be smaller. They vary also with the manipulative ability of the area. Eg working class suburbs are more easily manipulated by their lack of power. Groups can be broken up into smaller divisions if they expand.
They are hierarchial and each person has specific roles. These include: lower levels- cleaning, setting up the sites, etc; mid levels- brainwashing, keeping tabs on people, kidnapping, organizing prositution, etc; upper levels- controlling the sites, networking, administration, etc. They are basically small personal armies. Both public and private resources are abused. Eg. a member can work in a government dept and access information.
Aims
The aims of the organization are about abusive and dehumanizing power. The killings are concerned with supposed power over life. The orgies, prostitution, pornography and sexual assault by one or more members to others is concerned with rape, incest, humiliation and obtaining money. There is a pecking order and major competition within and between cults/organizations based on this abusive expression.
The leader/s of the cults/organizations obtain the most power. The money is directed mainly to them and they control the abuse. The leaders abuse further their necessary general powerful position in society. The cults/organizations could not exist unless there was some clout to cover up the activities and a large monetary base for the prostitution, pornography, human trade and networking.
Extent
Judging from the locations of survivors' reports, ritual abuse occurs in all western countries. Survivors from eastern countries are also now coming forward. It exists in all rural and metropolitan towns/cities and areas. It is difficult (and inconsequential) to describe the full extent of cult activity. Firstly, we are only beginning to map it, and secondly, survivors are not quantifiable statistics. Survivors come from all classes, ages, genders, sexualities, abilities and races/ethnicities.
We can presume that ritual abuse has been in existence for some time. Evidence from court cases and accounts of atrocities have described activity going back to the sixteenth century. Many survivors speak of coming from long term transgenerational families.
The Abuse/Criminality
As mentioned, ritual abuse is that done within a secretive organization that practices major abuse such as organized killing. The list is: homicide- both singularly and collectively, and as preplanned; sexual assault as collective and individual within the ceremonies, organized pornography and prostitution, and within the homes; human trade industry- human production within compounds, kidnapping, illegal child adoption rings, prostitution slave trade and so called "snuff"- murder movies; drug production and trafficking; money laundering; and networking with other similar organizations such as the mafia and klu klux klan. The conditioning process is also very abuse, and consists of severe psychological and physical violence. Please see Indoctrination
It is called ritual abuse as when counsellors first started to believe us in the mid 80s, survivors recalled mainly the anti societal rituals involved. The organizations have calenders of abusive dates. Within satanic ritual abuse, major times are Halloween (October 31st), Beltane (May 1st), Easter and Christmas (with the last two reversed in their Christian rituals). (The organizations are now shifting ceremonies more to public holidays with growing public awareness of ritual abuse and traditional dates. A cover of, for example, a supposed Labour Day party is being abused.) Many survivors and supporters are questioning the term now as it is too broad. For example, child molestors as catholic priests are committing ritual abuse. They should not be confused with 'ritualistic abuse' (done in a ritualised manner such as beating a child daily). Nor is it or open and non abusive satanism, where worshipping satan within itself is not criminal. The emphasis should be totally on the criminality. We are also now starting to see the large extent of the organizations' abuse beyond the rituals. They are secretive highly abusive organizations similar to the mafia only with mainly cult structures.
The organizations are also within a continuum of societal abuse. Wars are organized killing; working and middle class workers are threatened by the army if they don't go to work; sexual assault is institutionalized and major; and there is much hype and sensationalism around morality and religion within the media. What is different is the secretiveness and possibly more gratuity.
Indoctrination
As with all abusive organizations, ritual abuse groups have a process of indoctrination. The aim is to entrap the person into being totally submissive. It is concerned with instilling lies through violence. The lies are: supposed worthlessness without the group/cult; that perpetrators "love" you; the outside world eg counsellors and loving family and friends "hates and disbelieves you"; you will "always be alone"; you "enjoyed the violence"; etc. The violence is in all areas: physical eg beatings and deprivation; psychological eg abuse of mind altering drugs; emotional eg family deprivation; and sexual eg multiple and child rape.
The level of indoctrination corresponds to the level of abuse. As ritual abuse groups are very secretive and practise major criminality, the styles and degree of conditioning are therefore very surreptitious and heavy. There are specific and preplanned steps in the process. With transgenerational (long term family) survivors, this begins early and there is major concentration within the child's development. People indoctrinated from outside the family eg as wives, through kidnapping, as friends, etc also particularly experience heavy abuse in the early stages. The cult/organization could attempt to reproduce either conscious or nonconcious (unaware) survivors depending upon whether they feel they have achieved total control.
Indoctrination occurs within all aspects of cult life either in the home, other member's houses, the cult meeting places, the specific brainwashing areas, institutions (eg schools) if influenced by cult members, etc. Broadly, there are two main processes. These are the general and the specific. The general is done by cult members particularly those in the family. Eg a young boy can be raped in a cult ceremony. General indoctrination methods involve lies eg "mum will be killed', deceipt, threats eg "you will be tracked down if you escape", false promises eg "the cult will provide for you", false guilt eg "you owe the cult as it 'helped you'", "doing favours", etc.
The specific is done by trained indoctrinators called "trainers" or "programmers". The indoctrinators have very organized steps and styles that correspond to the levels and types of control. Eg a newly married and non cult background wife will be indoctrinated from the beginning. Tasks and roles will also be attempted to be instilled. Specific methods such as abusing psychological dissociation and organizing multiple personalities are done in this form. The specific indoctrination also involves lies, threats, false promises etc.
There are two main forms of specific indoctrination. For ease, they have been categorized as reproducing either single or mutliple personality systems.
The "multiple personality" system has been mainly abused since the 1950s/60s. It is a very sophisticated form of brainwashing or mind control. It is generally called "programming" because of its very technical nature. The cult obtained it from the military where it was originally developed. The aim is to create separate personalities through violence and trauma. It abuses trickery. For example, a person is put into into a drug induced state and is lacking coherence. He/she is fooled into thinking they were in a life and death scenario of supposed choice and lied to that "he/she killed their mother". In reality the mum was not there. It was a cult member acting as this and the person had no choice. The only thing the person wanted was not to be there in the first place. The cult also abuses threats (eg of being beaten or family killed); disorientation (eg abuse of spinning machinery where the person is literally spun around); deprivation of food, sleep, water, love etc; actual harm eg by obedient organization members in the family; confusion; etc. This psychological and physical violence forces people to dissociate, and after repeated trauma, forms separate personalities. These are then psychologically separated from the "host" person through more violence and threats. This supposedly enables more control through manouverability. The personalities are lied to that they "owe the cult", and therefore are also seemingly turned against the host person. Depending upon whether the cult thinks it has control, these personalities may be nonconscious to the person. The person is unaware or amnestic- suffering amnesia. The personalities are then organized into a system of roles, tasks, cues, etc. The programming system is then abused by the cult. For example, a person may hear a telephone ring only twice at home, then dissociate into a specific and conscious or non conscious personality, and ring a specific number for directions about cult/organization activities.
The single personality system was mainly abused before the 1950s although people after this time have been abused in this form. The aim is to reproduce a psychosis where the person as a whole "spaces out" and loses consciousness so as to be abused in cult activities. There is again heavy violent physical and psychological conditioning.
Belief In Its Existence
Ritual Abuse has existed for centuries. Authenticated descriptions (eg government documents) outlined ritualized and organized murders in the 16th century. Older survivors from transgenerational groups have been told ofactivity taking place in the nineteenth century. Survivors have described activityin all western countries, and we now have survivors coming forth from the east. Survivors have been telling the police, media, pyschiatrists, etc formany, many years about devil worship, organized murders, etc., However, they had been labelled "mad" or "liars" because society could not deal with the issue. The media particularly has invisibilized it. Either it does not mention the ritualistic aspects such as a satanic symbol and which could then signpost an organization and networking; or it describes them in sensationalist terms and being within isolated cases.
In the mid nineteen eighties, psychiatrists and counsellors started to believe survivors. By then widespread sexual assault and organized pedophilia, domestic violence, violence against minorities eg gay and lesbian people, etc was validated. Society was also opposing war (organized homicide) and understanding how entrenched violence was and still is.Very sensitive and rational counsellors and psychiatrists could therefore accept that ritual abuse existed.
Media stories could also validate (unfortunately, not consciously and directly) its existence. The 1969 Manson murders of Sharon Tate and her friends in the United States were ritualized and organized. Many people went missing for no apparent reason (seen as kidnapped and generally killed in ceremonies by survivors); cults such as at Jonestown, Waco, etc suicided on mass; serial killers left satanic markers eg Belangelo Murders in New South Wales, etc.
Successful court prosecutions from around the world also validated the existence. Satanic style murders, exposing organized pedophilia with cult overtones and connections, etc showed that there were not isolated cases but networking and a widespread nature. Please see the Believe the Children pedophilia awareness group's compilation of ritual abuse crimes at
The Ritual Abuse, Ritual Crime and Healing Webpage.
The major societal validation is occurring within the uncovering of different elements. This is mainly happening within government enquiries. For examples, the 1996/7 New South Wales Wood Royal Commission into the Police Service revealed organized pedophilia; and the 1996 US Senate Inquiry in Government Mind Control revealed the same brainwashing methods abused in ritual abuse organizations. Even though the Wood Royal Commission emphatically said that "ritual abuse did not exist", survivors canbenefit by the important aspect of organized pedophilia being accepted.
A rational viewpoint can also be used. Why is it that survivors from all over the world, and who have never met each other, can explain the very complicated and technical forms of both the rituals and the indoctrination? They have been also doing this for at least twenty years. For example, programming brainwashing involves specific stages, methods and abuse of machinery, etc. This information only now exists publically through survivors coming forth.
Society generally is opening up to understanding widespread abuse. As seen with the Wood Royal Commission, it generally accepts something that has been exposed at length (eg organized pedophilia), and at the same time finds it difficult (even defensive) to accept further abuse (eg ritual abuse). Looking at disclosure and belief over time,society in the last twenty years has progressed very well. It has accepted the existence, and then seriously challenged war, widescale sexual assault, domestic violence, violence against minorities, organized pedophilia and mind control.Ritual abuse, will by progression, be the next form of abuse to be accepted and eradicated.
.Abuse awareness starts mainly at a grass roots level. All the previous campaigns eg gay liberation began with people talking at a local level to either each other, counsellors, support generally, etc.This is where ritual abuse awareness currently (2000) is at. Survivors are getting together at workshops, through webpages and email groups, support groups in counselling centres, etc, to validate and support each other and campaign for societal validation and opposition.
In Australia, government and religious counsellors, incest and sexual assault groups, and womens and mens liberation groups all generally accept the existence of ritual abuse. Individuals within the media, police, education, etc and psychiatrists and counsellors in private practice also support this. Institutions generally are either non accepting, defensive or cautious. The public has an awareness that secretive criminal organizations, (the Ku Klux Klan and mafia) and very destructive cults exist. It would not be difficult to expose that other such cults/organizations of a satanic, nazi, druidic ideology exist also.
It is all important to talk with counsellors, agencies, journalists, etc that believe or at best are open to believing it. It is not good for the victim/survivor, their supporters and society generally to be not heard or invalidated. It also takes a lot of time and energy to do this. There is broad support and counsellors who will listen to survivors and supporters.
Recovery
This is concerned with recovery generally and its many aspects. It gives an outline of the process and its stages.
Recovery Generally
Recovery for any abuse, is the process of freeing oneself from an abusive situation and its effects . We cope with the lies and violence and can work through the memories to be rid of them. Ritual abuse recovery follows the same steps.
The stages generally are: awareness of being abused either currently or in the past. This comes from memories and/or finding information eg newspapers and survivors. The second stage is acceptance and validation that the abuse exists. Ritual abuse survivors generally need to validate these memories or current situation more as the cult attempts to stop memory of it, and society generally hasnt accepted it. The next stage is finding safety from cult intimidation and brainwashing . This is important for feeling safe within oneself in order to work on the memories and the indoctrination. The fourth stage is survivorship when the survivor empowers him/herself so that she/he controls his/her life. This basically is about working through the indocrination process(programming) or deprogramming, and working on the memories of the cult activities and how you/the survivor were forced into them. It can be done alone, however, all survivors I have talked to have seen it close to necessary to get support from a counsellor, other survivors, literature, the internet, workshops, support groups, videos etc. The last stage is breaking away from this support network and establishing an independent life that is not seriously affected by the abuse. These stages are not fixed. Eg a person can be in therapy for non specific reasons and then get memory and then follow the stages. They are the general pattern of what survivors go through.
Cult/Organization Ideology/Practice and Secrecy
What is specific about ritual abuse is the cult/group ideology/practice, and the past and current secrecy. Understanding the cult ideology, structure, roles, etc enables an awareness of the organization in order to let it go. We can see what the evil was intended for and how it was organized. The secrecy is instilled by the cult through lies and false threats, and implanting suspicion that the 'outside world' "is corrupt". Also society generally hasnt revealed the criminality. This means a continuous need for validation of what seems like hazy memories and/or current abuse. It also means maintaining safety from a very secretive mafia style organization.
Normalizing Ourselves
The major concern from the secrecy is that survivors sometimes feel very alone . We come from a very secretive group and the abuse is not generally accepted. We sometimes feel the specific styles of brainwashing and abuse, being forced to kill, anti or perverse societal ideologies, etc are exotic and extreme and not existing elsewhere in society. The indoctrination intends to set us apart and disrupt support from counsellors, friends, professionals, the media, other survivors, etc.
However, if we are to look closely we are only at one end of a societal continuum of abuse and are similar to all people in society. In Australia and the western capitalist world, people are conditioned to kill or be killed if they do not adhere to this economic system. This is evident in wars, the abuse of the army if workers strike, poor health and safety at the workplace, advertising of cancer causing products such as cigarettes, pitting workers against each other eg women and men with domestic violence and gay versus straight, dangerous sports, etc. Ritual abuse survivors also suffer from this general coercion as well.
We specifically are also very similar to survivors from other destuctive organizations and have to work through similar abuse. First of all there are known homicidal organizations, that are privately organized, such as the Ku Klux Klan. Then there are publically or state controlled ones such as the army. We are also like survivors from organized crime such as the mafia and its child and adult pornography, human trade (selling people on the black market for pornography or murder), "snuff movies' or filmed actual murders, illegal drug production and selling, money laundering, etc. We are similar to survivors from brainwashing (mind control) development eg experiments and abuse in the defence forces which abused it for espionage and otheractivities.The cultsoriginally obtained the information from the defence forces through placement of cult members.
Different Aspects
Victims and Survivors
In this page the terms victim and survivor are used and are simply defined and explained as there are different needs for both. A victim is seen as someone who is currently abused by the cult or is badly affected by its results. Such effects could be long term hospitalization, long term irrational behaviour, long term forced unemployment, etc. Victims have little control over stopping the abuse and/or its effects. They are brainwashed that "nothing is/was happening" or lied to that "they don't have the ability to leave". These lies are through cult threats, eg "a person in the family will be killed", "that people wont believe them", "that they only belong in the cult", etc. The victim maybe be unaware of their abuse in that they do not have a conscious knowledge. They may have personalities who are split off and then contact and are abused. Or they may be seeing it and trapped. Or it was in the past and societal invisibility did not allow them to recognize it. It is therefore obviously very important to strive for safety.
Survivorship happens when the all important safety is achieved and therefore begin the stages of recovery. Both victims and survivors are always desiring and creating recovery whether they are being intimidated or abused by the cult. Changing from being a victim to a survivor is what guarantees effective freedom. Safety happens when one sees and validates the abuse and creates a safe space.
Not Aware and Aware
There are also many different forms of abuse within the cults/groups and this has affected victims/survivors differently. The recovery movement has identified differing needs to address the different forms.First victims/survivors can be abused without their conscious knowledge within the mind control. They do not know. This is deliberate by the cult so that people cant tell others. It can therefore be very difficult to assist these people and needs much explanation, use of supportive contradictions eg as to where they were at specific times, encouraging getting memories, etc. They cannot escape unless they are explained things. Some survivors/victims are conscious and cannot escape because they have been frightened by the lies and supposed threats. They need to be supported by explaining that they are lies and the threats can be overcome. Reading about other survivors escapes or talking to survivors and their counsellors are two good ways.
Multiple and Singleton
Survivors can also be "multiple" and have many personalities, or "singleton" and see the world from one view. Multiplicity is very common for people who were indoctrinated with the recent (1950s onwards) programming that organized dissociated (split off) and multiple personalities. The person views life both from many personalities' angles and within a specific personality. An important aspect of recovery here can be integration where the person wishes to view life from a whole. Each personality has thoughts that originate from the core person. The person may not wish this oneness and instead want to be multiple as it provides many points of view. "Singletons" do not feel there are parts of themselves with distinct personalities, parts which hold distinct memories, or parts that speak through them. All of what is inside their head "feels" like themselves, and they view life as "one". An issue that has come up for singletons is feeling isolated as most survivors who have come forward have been abused within a multiplicity form.
Differing "religions/philosophies" within a Master Race Ideology
Victims/survivors come from many different ideologies/religions. The ones we know in the west, and possibly the east, are satanic, masonic, druidic, celtic, nazi, neo nazi, perverted christianity and extreme nationalism (government). There maybe many we do not know about and need to be educated on. The common aspect is of a megalomania or "master race" ideology where the cult/group will supposedly "rule the world". For example, in government secretive mind control programs, the slaves were/are to be abused to supposedly increase the country's and its controllers' power. In satanic groups, it was to increase the cult's and its leaders' power. In both cases, the controllers and leaders were corrupt, wealthy business/land owners.
Effects of Class, Gender, Sexuality, Race/Ethnicity, Ability and Age Situation and Conditioning
Class, Gender, Sexuality, Race/Ethnicity, Ability and Age affect the victim's/survivor's abilities. It exists as both the situation eg working class people have less money and resources, and as conditoning eg middle class people are told they cant talk publically about abuse.
Class There are four main classes- capital- owning large scale companies/land, middle- professional and administrative labour and dependant small businesses, working-technical and physical labour, and poor- charity/welfare dependant. Capital and middle class people can generally pay for private therapy and therefore have choices. They can also afford to subsidise survivor groups/movement. The conditioning however is to keep things very private and so need to speak out more. Poor and working class people cannot afford private therapy and are more dependant upon govt funded and medicare accepting therapists. They need to "shop" around more. They can also speak up more as they see injustice everywhere and generally speak out against it.
Gender is male and female and transgender from male to female and female to male. The abuse happens to all genders in the same numbers and with the same violence. The difference lies in that girls/women have violence connected to menstruation and pregnancy. Both genders suffer parenting violence ie their children are killed. The cult also enlarges the general societal conditioning of making particularly working class boys/men violent and angry and working class girls/women passive and manipulative. Both genders suffer shame, guilt, fear, excessive anger and are intimidated by the cult/organization. Both genders are told lies about the other and need to stop the arranged conflict particularly in combatting ritual abuse and getting societal support. Girls/women need to tend to fight the administrative systems more and not go into a victim mode. Feminism has been important in girls/women thinking "they can do anything". Boys/men need to become more emotional again to work through the memories and to organize and speak out publically that we too are raped and victimised. Men also need to work on the lies fed them that they are "naturally" violent and sex addicts. Transgenderism as cross dressing is frequently abused within the cults for pornography and prostitution and for the ceremonies. There is a need to reclaim it for its fun and theatrics value. Transgenderists have also been cast wrongly as perverted and within a cult ideology- vampires etc. Many victims/survivors have transgender personalities and which is not an issue. Only society and its strict definitions of gender make it an issue. Many victims/survivors are transgender, and the general concerns that society makes for transgender people does not need to happen within the victim/survivor community. Listen to and act on the needs and wants of transgender people.
Sexuality There are three main sexualities- homosexuality-gay,lesbian,queer,etc; heterosexuality- straight, and bisexuality- bi, queer. Male homosexuals have been treated very badly by society and have been labelled as perverts- sex addicts, rapists and pedophiles. There is nothing about homosexuality that makes a sex abuser/child sex abuser. Female homosexuals have also been cast wrongly as cult like- eg vampires. Again there is nothing about homosexuality that conditions this. Male heterosexuals have been wrongly cast as uncontrollable sex addicts, and female heterosexuals have also been wrongly cast as promiscuous. There is nothing about heterosexuality that "causes" these. Bisexuals have been stereotyped as unfaithful and promiscuous. Bisexuals, who are open, are faithful.
Race/Ethnicity incorporates both cultural values, and economic/political power in how the specific nation's and international economies treat races eg Aboriginal people are treated as poor/working classes. Specific cultural values around class, gender, sexuality, etc can hinder or help people. For example, women from many Asian countries find it difficult to get counselling because they would be breaking family taboos. There needs to be a maintained universal human recognition and practice that everyone has a right to counselling. Economic valuing based on class needs to be addressed in terms of class and fighting for more control of wealth and resources. The state should divert more funds for counselling, etc.
Physical, Psychological and Intellectual Ability is concerned with the actual ability, caused by social and natural forces, and its limitations; the stigma attached to them and how being in a particular class can affect their expression. Everyone has certain finite abilities. The trick is to not let these abilities determine everything. Ideas and concepts such as love etc are more important and overcome finiteness. Assistance is needed by someone else when there are limitations that affect the general well being and these can be provided by the state and/or employment. Being lower middle, working class and poor means relying on the state and so therefore there is a need to push and make use of services.
Age is also seen in terms of abilities and use of experience, and the stigma attached to it. Many younger people feel that they do not have the power to escape and work on the abuse as society says that young people are not powerful and cannot make decisions. This is not the case. Young people are very competent people. Middle aged people are told that they should not work on abuse as they are told by society they should be "upstanding being in their prime and forget about personal growth". This is a lie. Noone should have to put up with abuse and middle aged people need to have a wholesome personal life. Many older survivors feel that it is unimportant to work on abuse as they are told by society that they are "going to die". It needs to be remembered that older people are living and need to have a good life free from abuse and its effects like everyone.
Stages
There are five main stages, and which, as said, do not necessarily have to be in order. The aim of the stages is to fulfill the needs of escaping the abuse and working on it so that we control all the aspects of our lives- emotions, work, relationships, self esteem, housing, etc.
There are important considerations when working through the stages. These are doing memory work, haviong professional support, having general support and stopping guilt.
Memory Work Working through memories is a major aspect within all the stages.Cult memories are basically either of programming/brainwashing sessions or the abuse at ceremonies, prostitution/pornography, forced cult roles, in the home, etc, etc. All are generally of a violent nature.
Working through these memories means the desire to get rid of them. There are many approaches to take and they depend upon your/the survivor's wants and needs. A basic understanding is that memories come up when you/the survivor wishes to get rid of them. This could be as nighttime or daytime dreams and as visual rememberances. They are valid. The extremely violent and bizzare nature of ritual abuse particularly means that they could not be "made up". They could either be recent or from a long time ago. What is happening is that you dont want them anymore.
In the inital stages of survivorship, you/the survivor generally wants to have many memories in order to both understand yourself/the survivor and to stop or lessen any programming/brainwashing where the cult is trying to control you/the survivor. You/the survivor maybe constantly having memories to the point where it seems like 'flooding' and this is understandable.
During survivorship generally, you/the survivor either responds to particular needs during crisis periods such as telling others etc, and there is a feeling of urgency. When there are no crisis periods, there is a general and easier want to not have the abuse memories.
Memories can be both real and fabricated by the cult/organization/programmers. The best thing is to not listen to the cult/organization/programmers but to see what and hear what is really happening. For example, the cults/organizations/programmers will lie that your mum has been killed, that your brother is there etc when in fact they were not. You could be lied to that there is "cult activity happening is this particular place" when it is actually happening elsewhere. There are real memories of cults/organizations killing people, raping children including possibly yourself, of abusing people for pornography and prostitution, of programming people abusing electricity for example, of killing animals, etc.
Generally, how far one goes in bringing back and working on these memories depends on how much you/the survivor wants the truth and wants to be free from an abusive background. In deprogramming or working through the indoctrination and programming, it is very important to have the truth so that you/ the survivor will not get accessed (rung/written either nonconsciously or consciously) and therefore controlled by the cult/organization/programmers. With memories of the cult/organization activities which you were forced into there is a greater choice about working on the memories. These are memories of a past abuse and not a matter of you being controlled currently or in the future by the cult/organization. Psychiatrists, counsellors, therapists, etc beleive that it is not necessary to work through all past memories to have a good life. They are in the past. You can work on them in order to get an understanding of what the cult/organization did and to overcome any threats by the cult/organization to stop you remembering them. You can work on them in order to feel healthy so thay you dont have any past emotional or psychological "baggage". You can try and piece your life together and get an understanding of it. You can get some information that will help society and the police, media, legal institutions, etc get some specific and general information about ritual crime. What is important is that you/the survivor have a functional and manageable life and you can work on as much of the past that will make this happen for you/the survivor today.
Working through memories requires firstly a safe space both externally and internally. It means Cult lies and the truth.
Professionals Will Support
Many survivors think that they will be arrested if they come out of the cult and go to an accepting professional/police seeking assistance. This is not the case. Professionals and the police correctly sees this person as a victim who has escaped and is giving them valuable information. Survivors are like people escaping a totalitarian regime for want of a better comparison. They were forced to be there and escaped when they could. This line of false thinking is also programming/brainwashing by the cult. In seven years of survivorship, talking to police, including superintendents and professionals, and going to royal commissions, etc, I have never been charged for what I was forced to do. Neither have at least two hundred other survivors that I have talked to.
By talking to a counsellor you are not putting anybody else at risk. A counsellor is someone where the information you tell him/her will stay only with that person. You do not need to worry that it will go to the police or another professional if you dont want it to.
Support is Really Everywhere
Even though it may feel very lonely at times when in recovery, in fact there is support everywhere. We just dont either know it or havent reached out. From twenty four hour telephone counselling at Lifeline to someone in a bar, from friends and concerned people, from other survivors on a webpage, from a concerned priest, politician, journalist, etc, there are people who will listen. You do not have to say you are a ritual abuse survivor if you are worried that you wont be believed. You can say that you are a sexual assault/rape survivor and most people believe that these days. The real issue that stops survivors from talking is the lies the cult forced us into thinking. These are that we "will not be believed", "people will think we are mad", etc, etc. People do believe us now, and we can also rationally explain things to intelligent people who havent, as yet, accepted it. Ritual abuse is about organized killing and war is about organized killing. We can say what is the difference?
No to Guilt
One of the hardest things for a victim/survivor to work on is the supposed "guilt" from either being forced to do cult activities, from escaping and leaving family and friends or from living after seeing people killed. You/the survivor are not and will never be responsible for these cult atrocities and for family and friends. The atrocities were organized by the cult and you were forced into them by the programming that you/the survivor are now having to also work on. You did not have a choice in being taken to cult activities and having to have to watch and be forced to participate. The cult would not let you leave the places either physically or because it controlled your mind. You could not go elsewhere. You cannot go back to where your family and friends are and free them. This is against the law as it is kidnapping. You can only inform them that they are being abused and when they see that this is the case then they can ring/write to you. The cult only abuse the family as bait to get you back. It does not care about you and your family and friends. You could consider asking the question as to whether the cult/organization would see you and your family/friends living together where you escaped to. This is natural and your family and friends would be free from the cult/organization as well. It would say no, as it only wants you back in the cult place and then would cause conflict between you and the family as it has always done.
Awareness
A victim/survivor gets an awareness of currently being abused and/or it happening the past. This comes from a memory or seeing the actuality. The memory maybe of a ritual ceremony or of being electrocuted or being raped or molested, etc. The awareness can be positively triggered by reading a book or seeing a movie that has similar abuse either as fiction or fact eg The Exorcist. It can come from meeting a survivor- for example in an incest survivors group, from reading a newspaper article; etc. What happens is that a memory comes up.
We then accept that memory depending on how much belief we have that it did/does exist. The cult/organization specifically attempts or attempted to stop people from remembering the abuse through false threats and physical abuse such as electrocution. Society has also not made it visible and accepted. This is a differing aspect to other forms of abuse. Ritual abuse survivors therefore need to do a lot of work in validating their memories.
Acceptance and Validation
The process of acceptance can have many ways- using intuition, searching out information from similar forms eg church sexual abuse, trusting feelings into why I am/the survivor is similar to another survivor, comparisons to other situations, body memories- why do I/the survivor ache in this part of the body, fear of specific places of the abuse eg a church or a basement etc. It rests on having general confidence.This comes from simply being confident or beleiving in yourself, and from support by loving family, friends, counsellors, ritual abuse survivors, and survivors from all forms of abuse not only ritual. For many survivors, family or family members maybe the perpetrators, and so there is a strong need to look beyond this. This process of acceptance and validation can either be a long or short and the important aspect is knowing yourself.
It can be internal- knowing from your own feelings and memory that it exists/existed, and external- talking to a survivor, a supporter (eg counsellor), reading a book, searching the internet, etc. With people who have many separate personalities, some personalities may accept that it happens and others not. If the controlling personalities do not accept, then overall, the person doesnt accept. The aim is to support all the personalities and particularly those that are lied to. Educate and challenge, and overall, support and love them. Validation is very important continuously as there is so much invisibility of ritual abuse. When a person accepts that ritual abuse did/does occur, s/he begins to make conscious strategies which involve safety and support.
Safety
The next stage is safety. This is obtained by stopping or lessening cult intimidation and creating a free space from which to build and expand ones recovery . For ritual abuse victims/survivors who are currently abused, safety is a physical and psychological necessity. Victims can be harassed with death threats or have pets killed, etc. Cults are not the same though and not all victims/survivors have been intimidated. Escaping the cult is similar to escaping the mafia. Survivors/victims are viewed by the cult as slaves who have lots of information and skills which the cult wants. The survivor/victim also knows the names of the perpetrators and places of the abuse.
Forms of Safety
Safety is a personal place in one self where the cult and its brainwashing and abusive memories cannot psychologically get to. The aim is to create a more solid safe place in ones self. This is the free, creative, untouched, analytical, joyous, childlike, adventurous, soulful nature of yourself. From this base you can start to work on the memories and the brainwashing. If you feel you are not in touch with this, take time out, go for a walk, do enjoyable and creative things, etc. Think of what is important for you. How you are not like the cult. The cult can never control a person totally. For instance you can walk from one room to another by your own self.
Safety often means physically escaping to another area that is a long way from the cult. The cult has its brainwashing methods and technology in a particular place and the programmers/brainwashers know the different personalities and programs. They have abused these methods and knowledge and are wanting to maintain that the victim/survivor stays there. The cult also can harass more easily in its local area. The cult will not use a lot of money and time to send its members to another place looking for someone who has escaped. It is simply not worth it for them. Instead they will rely on family cult members to harass. Escaping to another area means that you can escape the programming and programmers. Its also means a fresh place where there are no cult memories and triggers. Some victims/survivors may feel that they can live in their cult area if they find enough support. However, we need to also understand that the brainwashing could be making the person contact the cult eg ringing and not be aware of it.
Ways of Stopping Intimidation
These are ways in which some victims/survivors have stopped intimidation:
Stopping Contact with the Perpertrator
Write to your immediate abuser in the cult (eg conscious involved family member)and state that you do not wish to have contact. Stress that if she/he does contact then this is seen as intimidation and the matter passed on to lawyers. Lawyers can issue letters of demand that specify that you do not want contact or press for an apprehended violence order (called an avo) through a court. An avo specifically stops any written, telephone, internet or face to face contact and is supported by the police. Both are relatively easy to get. A letter of demand can be simply written by a lawyer and a court will grant avos when a person shows some form of intimidation. Lawyers know how to get an avo very quickly. The avo particularly is treated very seriously by the police. (Lawyers can be free or very cheap for people on a health care card eg pension, unemployment benefit, sickness benefit,study assistance (abstudy, austudy, youth allowance, etc), youth allowance, low income, etc in Australia. Just ring Legal Aid in each state.) You do not have to explain eg as a cult survivor, why you do not want contact. The courts or police cannot demand a reason from you for why you are being harassed. This is simply intimidation and must stop and goes for both men and women survivors. Some survivors have said that they are sexual assault survivors (so as to not to have to explain cult stuff) which gives the police some understanding and sympathy.
If you wish to start with professional support, go to a safe, believing and respected professional eg lawyer, community worker, psychiatrist, priest, counsellor, etc. You can then simply tell the cult that you have done this without mentioning what the conversation was about. Eg "I saw a psychiatrist this morning and this professional and I do not want wish for you to have any contact with me." You may add: "If you do contact it is seen as intimidation and will be passed onto legal services eg lawyers." You do not need to inform the cult of what has been said to the professional. You have not done anything illegal (defamation or slander) or made any charges (as yet possibly) which the police can be called in for by the cult. You have simply said that you have seen a professional person and wish no further contact. If there is intimidation you can then use the letters of demand or avos as mentioned before.
In all these ways of issuing warnings and stopping harassment, there is a very serious challenge put against the cult. This is backed up by professional, court, lawyer and police support. You can control the amount of information that is said to all parties, however, the cult is not aware of how much information is going to the professional, the lawyers or the police and will feel themselves frightened. They particularly cannot afford to have their secrecy "blown", names mentioned and a legitimate police investigation. The survivor can therefore use cult secrecy to her/his advantage. The cult may try and abuse some influence with its more powerful members eg a cult lawyer, but you have the law on your side particularly with an avo. The lawyers you have talked to, the courts, the professionals and particularly the police will abide by this protection.
Having a Safe Address and Communication
To not allow the cult information to where you/the survivor lives and works, etc. you/the survivor can have anonymous, fictitious or non publically accessed names, addresses and telephone numbers. Addresses can be only postal boxes with redirected addresses. The post office is very concerned about privacy and will try its hardest to ensure this. With institutional recording of addresses such as banks and social security, you/the survivor can give a post office box. When they ask for a home address with social security you/the survivor can ask for privacy whereby only the manager of the office has access. Escaping a religious organization/cult is grounds in Australia. With banks you/the survivor can ask to talk to the manager who maybe of assistance. You/the survivor could also ask a community centre, religious counselling agency, therapist, etc if their addresses can be used. You/the survivor can also make up a name as when having the phone connected. Telstra does not require identification with over the phone instillation. If you/the survivor receives intimidating calls, Telstra can change the number, sometimes free of charge. You/the survivor can also have a mobile phone with only a post office box. You/the survivor can also use an answering machine to screen calls. With email addresses you/the survivor can obtain a free and anonymous email address at an internet email address provider where you do not need to either give a street/postal address or a correct one.
Stopping Indoctrination
It is the brainwashing that the cult attempts to abuse the most with trying to get the survivor back. There will be lies that family or friends "have died" or "will die". These come from brainwashing setup sessions where you/the survivor had no choice. You/the survivor would prefer to not have anyone die, to have a perpetrator die in self defence, or to not have to put up with the brainwashing in the first place, etc. Real people also will not die. This has never been the case. For example, I escaped three years ago and my family are all living. No family, friends, counsellors, etc that I know have died also. It is a BIG LIE. Another lie is that there are "cult members in the new place and that you/they have to return to the old place". The reality is that there are no cult members in this free place where you/they have escaped to. The cult members are back in the old one. When escaping you may feel very anxious and distraught. There is this very strong urge to either ring or write or physically go back or suicide. DO NOT ACT ON ANY OF THESE. Brainwashing is always about lies.
The cult also does setups or acts where cult members go into the persons house and pretend that they are going to hurt them if they escape. These are done specially when we are children so the adult has a long term and mainly subconcious childhood memory of this. The best ways to work through these are: to remember that this is a drama that the cult abuses to frighten and plays particularly on a child's fears. We are adults now and can work through this memory and say it was false. We can be rational and see that we have not been intimdated in the year (for example) we have lived in the house. We can also use the law effectively. This is trespass and is taken very seriously by the police. If the survivor has also gone to a professional, lawyer, police, etc, the police will also have a firm suspect which will seriously challenge the cult.
Survivorship
Survivorship is the stage when you do most of the processing of memories, and stopping and undoing the programming. Its when you free yourself from the effects of the abuse.As said, it can be done alone, however, all survivors I have talked to have seen it close to necessary to get support from a counsellor, other survivors, literature, the internet, workshops, support groups, videos etc. This stage is when you deal the personal work- the uncovering of the abuse and its many parts and layers; the release of anger, sadness, joy, etc; the understanding of what is lies and truth; of developing real relationships with other people both survivors and supporters and the general population.
During survivorship there are many crisis periods. These are mainly when remembering the abuse, telling others, when being told to return to cult activities (eg Halloween for satanic survivors) and talking to, writing to or seeing cult members and/or family. There are many things you can do to take the edge off the pain.
- Breathe. Breathe deeply and wriggle your toes. Rub your arms and legs. Blink hard. Keep eye contact with something such as your pet.
- Make a list of your reasons NOT to kill yourself. Read it. Give a copy to your friends to read out to you when needed.
- Be safe and warm. Put a blanket around you and cuddle a teddy bear. Hold onto your pet.
- Make a list of things you can do to make you feel better: go out for dinner, have a bath, read a book, suck on a dummy, go for a walk. Whatever works or feels right for you.
- Write in a journal.
- Ring a friend.
- Tell yourself that you are worth being loved. You are good.
- Be proud of having survived. The fact that you are still alive after all the torture shows what an amazingly strong and lucky person you are.
- Ring a crisis number and talk to them.
Deprogramming or Undoing the Programming and Brainwashing
Deprogramming is the major process in which survivors/we undo what the cult/organization despicably trained us into. It is such a large and important process and therefore I have created a separate page for it.
Cultural Isolation
On many levels, victims/survivors feel isolated from the general or non cult world. Those that are conscious of their abuse/involvement are separated at an aware level. For people who are deliberately made to be not aware of their abuse and accessing, the victims/survivors personalities live a cult life. The more one deprograms and sees the personalities, the more they see that their unconcious lives were estranged and different to the "normal world".
Cultural isolation from the general and normal world is a major issue with survivors. Satanic etc worship, major sexual abuse, organized and gratuitous killing, nighttime lives, calendars that revolve around full moons, etc are deliberately opposed to the day to day general routine of the week/weekend lives and Christian influences. Even though ritual abuse is in the continuum of abuse of wars, institutionalised and widespread sexual abuse, worker exploitation, etc, there are different cultural mores.
Reentering General Life
The last stage is breaking away from this support network and establishing an independent life that is not seriously affected by the abuse.
When a person deprograms sufficiently so that they are not constantly affected by programming and abuse memories, they can start to leave "the nest" of survivorship and have an independent life. Signs that a person has deprogrammed are: not acting out greatly eg not seeing similar looking people today as being the same as the perpetrators, and not seriously falling into the same patterns of abuse eg sexual compulsion; being real-being in touch with owns emotions and being responsible for them; if adults, having a functional and 'normal' adult life- studying, working, parenting, leisure, organized domestic life, friendships, sexual relationships, community pursuits, etc; if a young person, having a functional young person's life- studying, leisure, community interests, friendships, sexual relationships, etc.
Please note that during survivorship, the person maybe either already on his or her way to, or having some form of, an independent life. This may include part time study or work, being in a community organisation eg a church, doing the necessary aspects of life eg travelling, shopping, paying bills, etc, being recreational eg bushwalking, etc, maintaining friendships with supporters, etc, etc. These assist in having an independent life.
Functional, empowered, manageable, effervescent, the land of the living, etc are all words that can describe having an independent life. It means not being dependant upon a support group, counsellor, etc.
One can never be perfect. The effects of abuse particularly from ritual abuse can be long term and fundamental. Sometimes a survivor needs to check in occasionally with a counsellor or support group for expression and feeback. The important aspect is that the person now has a fully functional life, with the emphasis on life.
Deprogramming. Coping With and Undoing the Programming
This part is concerned with understanding the fundamental aspects of deprogramming and the process.
Fundamental Aspects
Common Aspects
Programming is the indoctrination method and the system that is set up within the persons being. We/survivors are "programmed" (indoctrinated) to have a "program/s" (system). It relates to both the singleton and multiplicity forms. It is done completely by the cult/organization and its conscious members (eg a father) and it is what intends to keep you/the survivor/victim in an abusive relationship to the cult/organization. When being victimised and abused, it is a direct relationship. With escape and survivorship, it is feeling its effects without contact. With both, the person is always trying to stop it happening or not be affected.
Deprogramming is when you need to cope with it and/or undo it in order to be free from the cult. Deprogramming happens all the time and will continue until you have coped with or undone programming. There are periods of less stress such as between call back ceremony times eg beltane (May 1st) for satanic survivors. Programming comes on particularly during crisis times. These are mainly when you/the survivor is going against the despicable aspects of the cult/organization and are escaping, telling someone like a friend or therapist (disclosure), not being called back for ceremony times eg halloween (Oct 31st) for satanic survivors, etc.
Undoing means going back to where the programs were put into place and stopping the violence and lies so that you/the survivor will never be affected again. This means doing a kind of "rewind of a video" in your memory and controlling how you will get rid of the violence and the real perpetrators and free yourself from the lies and binds (sometimes double or more binds). Use whatever techniques you/the survivor want in this. This was violence that you had not control over then. Now you/the survivor can and do whatever you/the survivor want/s. This mainly happens at general or non crisis times as survivors have the time and energy to put it into it. Many survivors also undo programming during crisis times.
Coping is putting it at bay or aside. This particularly happens during crisis times like call backs. During the rest of the year it is also important as there is a need and want to have a normal everyday life free from programming. In coping there are Crisis Hints that come from the Beyond Survival magazine. (Please the below Call Back Stress Times) An important consideration here is to live your life in your/the survivor's current age. Do not be tempted to go back to the violence and torture of the cue that was long ago. Remember that the violence and lies are not happening today or now. It is merely a memory and back in 1962 or 1983, etc. It is 1999 now.
Deprogramming is basically going back to where the lies were put in with extremely violent torture. This generally means bringing yourself back to a more grounded way of being. In psychological/ medical terms it is "associating the experience". You/the survivor was forced to dissociate or float off and space out in order to cope with the despicable horror of what the cult/organization did/does to you/the survivor. With a lot of dissociation comes the formation of a separate personality part. (Please see the following multiplicity and personality parts). Some methods are child rapes, spinning machinery, electrocution, deprivation of food, hypnosis and then torture, hanging upside down, moving the person towards a revolving saw, putting a knife in your throat, etc. The cult/organization then further abuses this dissociation and personality part development by tricking the part into a lie that they "owe the cult/organization". With the multiple personality parts survivors, the cult/organization organized a system of many parts. With singelton survivors, the cult/organization stressed a single dissocation or spacing out. With amnestic or not conscious victims/survivors the cult/organization does not allow the separated part to be consciously with the person.
The Programming System The cult/organization set up a system of programs within ones being. It comes through mainly in the mind as this is where we think and therefore act on what is fed to us/the survivors. Programming is also called mind control. Within singleton survivors there is a system that views from a single perspective. With multiple survivors the system has many personality parts that both act singularly and are in conflicting and inclusive relationships. When the cult/organization tortured people they also deliberately placed names and cues within the person that would relate to the torture. This, they attempted, would respond to specific orders such as returning, not being aware of the abuse- amnestic, not disclosing, causing conflict with non offending family and supporters, etc. So a victim/survivor would have this conscious or non concsious cue that if he/she "did not return for halloween" then the memory of the specific torture would "come on". Victims/survivors also have general reminder cues or triggers such as seeing black or red for satanic survivors. These will also set off programs.
Programming and deprogramming can be normalized. Everyone is indoctrinated into something whether it be class or gender conditioning. With ritual abuse cults/organizations there are specific forms that need to be addressed, and alleviated and stopped.
Programming runs out after a while. Like any conditioning it gets lessened. Programming gets lesser in its intensity, unless there is a program built in to continue it which is common and needs to be addressed as with all personality parts. As with time healing all problems and emotional stress, it also lessens the effects of the violence and the lies.
Being a survivor continuously Once you/the survivor have survived the call backs and disclosure programming particularly, you have worked out ways of counteracting them and these will come into play almost immediately and sometimes even subconsciously. Deprogramming will become second nature.
Variations
Each of us copes and undoes programming his/her own way. People have individual interests and strengths. Some people enjoy looking at psychology and how the mind works and go into the intricacies of brainwashing. Some people use the media and public education to get rid of their anger against the cult and its programming. There is no one or right way to deprogram. The following is information about how survivors have generally deprogrammed.
Multiple personality parts victims/survivors. (Please note that me and my therapist prefer the words "personality parts" instead of "personalities." The reason is that the cult attempts to abuse this. "Personalities" implies an autonomy or self direction when floating by itself, and is supposedly separated from the person. Personality parts are different aspects of oneself, the person. They are directed by the person. Cult/organization affected people who have many personality parts sometimes feel they are in one personality part only. If this personality part wants to die or thinks that other personality parts should die then this is wrong. Personality parts are lied to by programmers and the cult that he/she/it "will live" after he/she/it kills off other personality parts and supposedly the host. This is not the truth. When a person dies, god forbid, the whole person really dies which includes all of the personality parts.)Multiple victims/survivors have programming which deliberately abuses personality parts and many of us/in the survivor. The cult/organization attempted to create many different and separate roles, different cues, conflict within the victim/survivor between personality parts, and confusion as to the number of parts and conflict between parts. By being multiple, the cult/organization thought it could have more personality parts "to play with" and attempt internal disruption. Deprogramming therefore means both addressing each personality part and at the same time seeing the part within a whole. It means looking after everyone. This stops conflict and disruption. An important phrase with multiple survivors is when I see that I am multiple, then I am one. In other words you/the survivor have gone further than being in one personality and can see the whole. This means little or no disruption.
Singleton survivors "Singletons" do not feel there are parts of themselves with distinct personalities, parts which hold distinct memories, or parts that speak through them. All of what is inside their head "feels" like themselves, and they view life as "one". Singletons "space out" or dissociate into a oneness instead of into a separated personality. They need to work on the abuse/trigger memory so that they do not dissociate.
Active programming. This where the cult/organization that you/the survivor comes from is still active. The cult/organization wants you/the survivor to particularly return and not disclose. It runs out if it is not reprogrammed.
Non active programming. This is where the cult/organization that you/the survivor comes from is not active anymore. The programming is put into the background and made to not function particularly around call backs. It still emphaises not disclosing. It still causes concern as the feelings still come up such as at call back times eg Halloween for satanic survivors. It will run out if not reprogrammed.
The Process of Deprogramming
Basic Considerations
There are very important basic considerations in deprogramming. It is beneficial to have these either before you start and/or during the process.
An unaffected personal space in your/the survivor's mind. You/the survivor needs to be in a personal space within yourself that is relatively free from the cult/organization's affects. To see the world from a relatively unaffected view or stance. This is important for a reference point so that in times of stress or even generally, you/the survivor have somehere to come back to. It is important for rationality ie does this makes sense? It has some sense of objectivity so that you can see it from another perspective. From here you/the survivor can observe and work on the programming. If you/the survivor are ever in trouble with deprogramming such as going around in circles and going nowhere or there is a "snag", you can come back to this unaffected space. It means you can separate yourself from the cult/organization and be able to relate outside a cult/organization context and mind set to other survivors, friends, therapist, the world generally, etc. Overall, it is the basis and continual referral point. It can also be your end point as when you/the survivor unravel the programming there should only be this unaffected place. We all have the ability to get this free space. The human spirit is indestructable. For example, people who have been in concentration camps and prisons for many years have come out with their lives and thinking in tact. A good exercise is to simply walk from one room to another of your/the survivor's own free will to find and strengthen this free will. Other ways of finding this inner place in your/the survivor's soul and mind are: a bath, going for a walk, meditation, concentrating on a pet or an object, holding onto something from a teddy bear to a stone. Do things in your/the survivor's current age and time eg school, work, hobbies, etc. From this beginning, you/the survivor can then strengthen these simply by doing more of it and being creative.
Being Wholistic- seeing yourself/the survivor as being the whole person It is very important to see yourself/the survivor as whole. For multiple personality part survivors, if you/the survivor are in one personality part or swapping between personality parts then you/the survivor can lose track of the whole picture and there could be another personality part who is directing things. It is important to look for and address all of your/the survivor personality parts. You/the survivor needs to then look after all of them. Dont cause or continue any conflict. Give each part an equal reward in working through the programming. Sometimes you/the survivor need to step back and view every part. Imagine your/the survivor's head as a whole head. Listen for all of the parts speaking. This does not necessarily mean intergration or association. You/the survivor can still have personality parts, and hopefully those not lied to and cult controlled. They are still part of the whole. For singleton survivors .
Care for all of your/the survivor self which includes every part You/the survivor needs to look after and care for your/the survivor whole self which includes every part. Personality parts have only been lied to and they are led to believe that they are "doing good by you/the survivor". They were split off and told that you/the survivor, the person they were split from, "has done bad" or that "they have done bad", etc. Caring for them means listening to the parts lies and not accepting them, explaining things in a non judgemental way and how it is the depsicable cult's fault, stopping the violence done to them/you and being firm. With parts that were created when you/the survivor were a young person it is important to understand your/the survivor's age at which they were done and care accordingly. This means extra deserving attention, eating the appropriate foods eg baby foods, singing songs etc. Caring for your/the survivor self also means in the general current and day to day sense. Going for walks, eating healthy food, having good accomodation, etc. You/the survivor are looking after all of you.
We/survivors are People It is important to remember that we/survivors are people in the deprogramming. Sometimes we may forget that we are not robots or zombies which the cult would despicably like us to believe. When deprogramming, remember that personality parts and the person are people with feelings and levels of understanding and knowledge. We need to look after these. Feelings are not a safe and reliable guide. In deprogramming a lot of feelings come up. The cult abuses feelings a lot. Feelings are just feelings. They have no sense of truth or insight and can be manipulated. They are determined by a much larger truth/lies. Eg you could be lied to that your mum did this when in fact it didnt happen. Your feelings cant tell you the truth and you and her may be abused with this lie. Even though feelings are not a reliable guide as people are lied to, we need to respect these feelings and explain to personality parts and the person that their feelings have been abused.
Memories Come Up When They Can Memories of when the programming was done come up when deprogramming. This happens as you/the survivor want to get rid of the programming and the violence and lies. It is important to respect that you are bringing up memories when you can. You can work on them. In times of stress such as first remembering the abuse and at call back times, you maybe flooded with memories. You wish to bring back too much. Now you need to also respect your abilities in dealing with too much memory. You need to say that you can only deal with so much and go into program management (see following).
Trusting yourself. The cult/organization and its programming methods with setups and electrocution etc where/are real. You can go back into the memories and undo it. You can also put them aside. You have the ability to control the programming.
Having a Strategy It is important to have a conscious strategy when deprogramming either as coping or undoing. You/the survivor are deprogramming for a very good reason and it is helpful to be conscious and control it. Ask why am I/the survivor deprogramming? Am I needing to react and get anxious? What is the reality? The cult/organization cannot get me, I am safe, etc. What is my support such as therpists, friends, support groups, etc. Is it to cope with a short term crisis such as halloween for satanic survivors? If so, go into short term looking after yourself. Forget about undoing the programming. Lots of pampering, lots of being with friends, lots of talking to the therapist, getting out or sleeping - whatever you enjoy and tides you over. Is it to understand myself better and get rid of the despicable cult/organization garbage and it is not a stress time? Then undo the programming. Some survivors dont go into the programming and leave it at bay like a broken record that just goes on. They feel that they wont be accessed and that the lies the cult told will not come true so why deprogram. They can put the violence ay bay because it is not happening now. The important consideration is how safe you feel and to keep on asking how safe you really are. If you dont feel safe then deprogram, if you are safe then it can be a lot of time and effort for something eg "killing yourself" that wont be a reality.
Getting the facts It is very important to get the facts amd the reality when deprogramming. The cult abuses fiendish hypnosis, drugs, death threats, etc to force and delude you into thinking something else. A common one is that "your brother/sister died". In fact, it was a cult member masquerading as "your brother/sister" and they, either your real brother/sister or the cult member, did not die. Another example of a delusion you/the survivor may be forced to think is that you "are ringing the cult". You/the survivor needs to check whether this was the case or not by knowing where you were at the time. Feelings are not a safe and reliable guide. In deprogramming a lot of feelings come up. The cult abuses feelings a lot. Feelings are just feelings. They have no sense of truth or insight and can be manipulated. They are determined by a much larger truth/lies. Eg you could be lied to that your mum did this when in fact it didnt happen. Your feelings cant tell you the truth and you and her may be abused with this lie. You need to get the facts and then express feelings appropriately- eg against the cult. In waiting to get the truth you need to put feelings aside and not buy into them. The cult/organization abuses feelings a lot. Develop and trust your rationality, the facts, intuition, etc.
Multiple and Singleton Survivors With multiple survivors, it is important so that you/the survivor do not get lost within many different aspects of yourself. For singleton survivors, it is important not to get carried away with the intensity of the feelings.
Deprogramming and General Life Deprogramming needs to be seen in relationship to life generally. You/the survivor are pressured by work, studies, family, friends, relationships, shopping, etc. It is important to know when it is needed to deprogram. During stress times, deprogramming is very important and life generally needs to be well used such as being with trusted friends or telling unreliable friends that you cant see them. Work and social functions need to be made less important, etc. It is important not to get triggered by similar looking cult/organization things/people which are not cult, and to not go near or do things that will trigger or do harm such as tall buildings.
Deprogramming and the Cult/Organization Programming and deprogramming need to be put into a cult/organization perspective in that they are specifically about the cult/organization. This is its function. It relates specifically to being accessed, disclosure, disrupting support and cult/organization activities. During general or non crisis times, the aims of the cult/organization are to keep you/the survivor under control. THIS IS NOT THE TOTALITY OF LIFE. If we use the times and space when the cult/organization is not seriously affecting ones/the survivors life we can use this to develop greater control over our/the survivors life. The programming feels deep because the cult/organization attempted total control and abused very secretive, long and extreme methods. The cult/organization though DOES NOT CONTROL YOU/THE SURVIVOR. As seen with an exercise of walking from one room to another, everyone has free will and can survive extreme torture as with concentration camp survivors. We need to develop our free will through our strength and support from other survivors, friends, non offending family and a therapist.
Call Back Stress Times As a reminder, call back times can be the most harrowing times for victims/survivors. The most important thing to remember is that it is only temporary. It only seriously affects you/the survivor for the couple of days or one day. During this crisis period it is important to get all the support you can. Tell your friends, therapist, telephone crisis counsellor (eg Lifeline), etc that you want as much support as you can. Do not take shit from anybody. Act out, offend people if necessary. This is your crisis period. You only have it a few times of the year and will be hospitable the rest of the time. Do whatever it takes to get you through the day and night. Whatever it takes to keep you safe and sane- scream, shout, be stupid, stare at people. You did not choose to have this as with all cult activities put upon you. You can now choose to cope with and not allow the programming to affect you.
Crisis Times (From Beyond Survival magazine) Sometimes survivors get very stressed. These are mainly when remembering the abuse, telling others, when being told to return to cult activities (eg Halloween for satanic survivors) and talking to, writing to or seeing cult members and/or family. There are many things you can do to take the edge off the pain.
- Breathe. Breathe deeply and wriggle your toes. Rub your arms and legs. Blink hard. Keep eye contact with something such as your pet.
- Make a list of your reasons NOT to kill yourself. Read it. Give a copy to your friends to read out to you when needed. Be safe and warm. Put a blanket around you and cuddle a teddy bear. Hold onto your pet.
- Make a list of things you can do to make you feel better: go out for dinner, have a bath, read a book, suck on a dummy, go for a walk. Whatever works or feels right for you.
- Write in a journal.
- Ring a friend.
- Tell yourself that you are worth being loved. You are good.
- Be proud of having survived. The fact that you are still alive after all the torture shows what an amazingly strong and lucky person you are.
- Ring a crisis number and talk to them.
The Actual Process
Immersion and Staying Outside Immersion is going into the programming to understand how it functions. Staying outside is observing it from a distance. Both are important and you/the survivor needs to develop both and use them together in order to work through the programming. For example, you need to delve to feel the emotions, understand the personality parts etc and then to step back from them to get a perspective on what happens and what are lies etc. The immersion is the subjective- experiencing the personal, the memories, the mind, the intricacies of the programming, etc. When doing this you can rewind the "vcr" of the memories and tell off the perpetrators. Staying outside is the objective- the rational, the logical, the analysis of what is lies and truth, etc. It is where you can be disciplined and not allow the junk and lies to come in.
Program Management All of these tools are concerned with programming management or how to live your/the survivor's life with programming under reasonable control. Discipline, living in your current age, understanding what the fear and anxiety is that lies behind the deporgramming, etc can be very important in this. The panic to deprogram, particularly at call back and disclosure times, comes from the lie "that you or someone close to you will die". This is not the case. In the seven years that I have been surviving and from meeting two hundred other survivors NO ONE has died. You/the survivor can discipline one/yourself with this truth and say "this is a lie and programming. I will not go into it." Sometimes discipline can seem too difficult and as normal human beings we are not perfect and can "do the best we can". This means having a "bum day" and not feeling bad, and pride ourselves on not being the "best survivor". We/the survivor didnt want the programming in the first place so why should we also have to have extra stress on being perfect.
General Tools These are general ways in which you/the survivor can help in deprogramming. Being rational- does this makes sense; use intuition- this doesnt feel right; getting feedback both internal and from others such as friends and a therapist; being flexible; being eclectic or using all/many techniques; being sensible- eg is flying off a bridge really going to set you/the survivor free- the reality is that it will kill you/the survivor; being clear and most importantly loving yourself/the survivor. For survivors- you suffered some of the most horrific and despicable crimes against humanity. The true and real love of yourself is what has kept you both alive and doing the deprogramming so that you have a better life. Cherish this.
Deprogramming Summary There are many things to remember when deprogramming. Always look for why you are deprogramming. It is usually out of panic and anxiety. Try and alleviate as much of this as you can. NEVER "TRUST A PROGRAMMER/CULT/ORGANIZATION" THEY/HE/SHE ALWAYS TELLS LIES EVEN IF THEY ARE TELLING YOU "THE TRUTH" AS OPPOSED TO ANOTHER PROGRAMMER. THEY ONLY WANT YOU TO BE BOUND TO THEM. THEY NEVER EVER "HELP YOU". IT IS ALWAYS FOR THE CULT/ORGANIZATION AND THEY ARE SELFISH IN WANTING YOU TO DO THEIR CRMINAL ACTIVITIES. NOONE WILL DIE. THIS IS 2000 AND THE OLD MEMORIES ARE NOT NOW. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT AS WITH ALL PEOPLE TO LIVE WHERE YOU WANT AND DO WHAT YOU WANT. You need to not buy into innocent family's lies that are told to them by the cult. Tell/emphasise to the family that you are ok and that it is not important to return. Be eclectic. Use all techniques and the appropriate ones. Depending on what your needs are- crisis, wanting to work on deep programming, wanting to remain calm, etc use the technique that corresponds to your needs and wants.
"Stages" There are no specific stages. Deprogramming is about alleviating or taking away the programming system depending upon what your immediate and long term needs and wants are. The programming system was first produced as a predetermined structure by the cult. It had specific stages of indoctrination that are generally called core and secondary/ tertiary/etc layers. For children this can start in the womb and for kidnapped people it starts at the age they were kidnapped. This is when there is a linear progression to programming. The core stages has particularly very heavy and continual torture. The progression is one of destroying trust and of cult obedience. There is also specific training in cult roles and ceremonies. At certain ages programming is put in for returning, not disclosing, relating to particular organizations, etc. The programming is also modified according to the specifics of the cult. For example, you/the survivor may have undone some programming and so the despicable cult then reprograms. When deprogramming, you/the survivor goes to the system which corresponds to what your short and long term needs are. For example, at Christmas, you may need to go back to the trauma at ten years old as this related specfically to "a Christmas return program". When working on dismantling the whole system, you may go back to the core programming and work on the base layers. By working on base layers you can deflate a layer on top of this to a small degree. However, as programs are all about violence you will still need to work on the upper layers. They are not simply put in without violence.
When a person deprograms sufficiently so that they are not constantly affected by programming and abuse memories, they can start to leave "the nest" of survivorship and have an independent life. Signs that a person has deprogrammed are: not acting out greatly eg not seeing similar looking people today as being the same as the perpetrators, and not seriously falling into the same patterns of abuse eg sexual compulsion; being real-being in touch with owns emotions and being responsible for them; if adults, having a functional adult life- studying, working, parenting, leisure, community pursuits, etc;
One can never be perfect. The effects of abuse particularly from ritual abuse can be long term and fundamental. The important aspect is that the person now has a fully functional life, with the emphasis on life.
Crisis Periods
Every survivor goes through crisis periods. This is when you/the survivor may feel suicidal, desperate, with no hope, have no direction, am extremely stressed and have major physical and psychological problems, etc.This situation is either from the initial stages of recovery where everything seems new, the direct influence of programming with its lying despicable messages, harrassment, an event from general life such as a major disappointment that will indirectly trigger programming and/or a memory of the abuse.
Signs of stress are: a disorganized life- eg housework not done for days, sleeping a lot, not going out, overly using addictions, not going to work for days, homelessnes, etc; lacking hope and seeing no future; and having major (not the usual minor) relationship hassles with other survivors, partners, counsellors, friends and people generally; being overly suspicious of institutions, counsellors, friends and people generally.
Crisis periods are generally short term. If they go for over a very long time, there is a definite need to see a counsellor more. The general ways in deprogramming and working through memories are instead put aside for this short term coping.
Alleviating and Stopping the Crisis
These are suggestions from Beyond Survival magazine that have been used to take the edge off the pain. They are not the only ones. As someone who has survived such monstrous torture you/the survivor may have worked out many other ways of calming yourself/the survivor down.
- Breathe. Breathe deeply and wriggle your toes. Rub your arms and legs. Blink hard. Keep eye contact with something such as your pet.
- Make a list of your reasons NOT to kill yourself. Read it. Give a copy to your friends to read out to you when needed.
- Be safe and warm. Put a blanket around you and cuddle a teddy bear. Hold onto your pet.
- Make a list of things you can do to make you feel better: go out for dinner, have a bath, read a book, suck on a dummy, go for a walk. Whatever works or feels right for you.
- Write in a journal.
- Ring a friend.
- Tell yourself that you are worth being loved. You are good.
- Be proud of having survived. The fact that you are still alive after all the torture shows what an amazingly strong and lucky person you are.
- Ring a crisis number and talk to them.
Stages of Recovery When You/The Survivor Feel Lost
The first crisis you/the survivor comes across is the initial stages when things are new and not understandable. Throughout the recovery process there are many periods of not knowing what is happening.They are crises because you feel that you cant cope. With acceptance and understanding of what is happening and guidance from friends, survivors, counsellors and information, you/the survivor can stop the crisis.
The initial stages of recovery when you/the survivor start to get memory and disclose the abuse are the hardest in many ways.Your/the survivor's whole life can change. Instead of holding things in and being abused, you/the survivor can now release memories and stop being abused. The crisis happens because you do not know this new type of living. There is a period of adjustment and becoming accustomed to memory work, understanding programming, deprogrammming, getting validation, stopping harassment, understanding the terminology, working with a counsellor, meeting other survivors, etc.
Generally, after about six months, you/the survivor do become used to the survivorship and recovery process. There is so much work and intensity involved that you/the survivor pick up the understanding quickly and get validation from other survivors and your counsellor. After a year it seems to become a natural thing.You/the survivor organize life around survivorship and it becomes easier. With two years and more, it becomes a part of life such as going for a run or going to the shop. Gradually with recovery you/the survivor tend not to have to rely on the survivorship lifestyle.You/the survivor tend to do more 'normal' things such as work, study, more parenting etc. By the time you/the survivor have achieved a functional and independent life, you/the survivor have outgrown the survivorship schedule.
Stress Directly From Programming
The programming with its despicable lies causes crisis periods as you/the survivor have to contend with both the violence of the programming methods and the trickery and the lies the cult tries to put in with the violence. The programming will come on when: you are remembering the abuse; when telling the abuse to another person including your counsellor; when being called back for a cult activity or at a specific age to assume a cult role; when having contact with innocent family who are not aware of being cult controlled and criminal family members who are cult active; when escaping or for other reasons that challenge and stop cult control.
Call Back Periods
Call Back periods occur when the cult/organization is calling you back to either attend its violent, criminal ceremonies or to assume cult roles within your/the survivor's age. You/the survivor feel the urge to ring or travel or make contact somehow and to change the usual work or recreation routines. These are for no apparent reason. What is happening is that inner personality parts are responding to a date cue eg October thirty first (halloween) that says "you/the survivor must return".There maybe specific ages in your life which the cult/organization has told you that "you must return" to adopt a role of control or organizing or work or something that only typically benefits the cult/organisation. The ages may differ between the differing manipulations of the cults/organizations and are determined by what it thinks it can get from you/the survivor in that particular age. Eg a young person and prostitution, a middle aged person with cult knowledge. The ages sometimes are perversions of pagan numerolgy such as forty two and thirty six (multiples of six) etc.
Cult/Organization Calendars The major call back periods for ceremonial abuse are within cult/organisation calendars of sadistic events. Within their anti societal ideologies, most dates are perversions of either ancient eg pagan (who were and are not today criminal) or modern eg Christian religions. The dates also are given specific torture related notions eg rape of a boy, etc. The cults/organizations have also been challenged well and many of them are now aware that the public know of the traditional dates. They have now moved many dates to public holidays as an attempted camouflage eg an "Australia Day party" acting as a murder ceremony. They may also utilise a close public holiday as the supposed date eg Labour Day weekend in NSW (first weekend in October) as Halloween. This a general version of cult/organisation calendars and follows patterns of anti-societal ideologies
Here are a list of different Ritual CalendarsThere is a fair amount of variation among the groups. Each group emphasises particular dates according to its own sordidness. Some dates maybe mixed such as Summer Solstice and Christmas. Some dates are not used.Easter, May Ist and Halloween are generally the most stressful in Australia for satanic survivors. Some dates particularly halloween and beltane may go for a number of days. There could also be a variation with a leader's birthday, an anniversary of particular sordidness, a particular year with numerical significance, religions such as Jewish holidays, use of full moons, birthdays, Mothers Day, etc. Some groups and leaders may have become obsessed by satanic, nazi, etc ideology and read about other dates that they have emphasised. Generally, incorporation depends upon the leaders' sordidness.
Two Thousand Call Back period. This year, Two Thousand, the cults/organizations have emphasised a major call back period. The expectation for this year has been around for decades and there were major plans for the New Year and the following months. Survivors have specific call back programming for this year.
External Stressors
Survivors, as people, experience external stressors such as work, exams, study, travelling, sightseeing, parenting, relationships, etc. These can worsen the existing survivorship pressure and anxiety particularly when there is a call back period, harrassment, disclosure, etc.
The stressors can be both linked to the programming directly and/or have indirect effects. What is beneficial is to separate the cult programming and memories from these stressors so as to have some perspective. Direct programming can occur for example with travelling. The brainwashing triggers maybe that by "travelling the survivor is escaping". If the survivor is actually escaping it will mean deprogramming. If the survivor is simply travelling there needs to be a perspective that s/he has already escaped and that this is simply travelling.
Some situations have indirect effects of programming and memories. They will remind the survivor of the cult. For example an exam with its enclosed and controlled nature and the numbers and question order will restimulate programming. Again, there needs to be a perspective that this is not a cult programming area and that the numbers are for questions.
Support For Victims/Survivors
This section is concerned with support for victims/survivors.
They are categorised in terms of gender (men, women, both, referral- do not specifically see, but can refer to an appropriate agency, or not specified- need to ask them as they could not be approached because of mailing time or couldnt answer telephone calls, etc). They have been collected by reading endorsed literature. This is specifically, Beyond Survial, a national ritual abuse survivor newsletter which unfortunately is currently not being produced. Another way is through discussion with ritual abuse survivors and supporters living in their cities/regions. Some community agencies, support groups, newsletters, etc may have closed. If you could not talk to the agencies or support group it is best to ring your local sexual assault centre who generally are familiar with ritual abuse and who can then refer.
One to One Counselling
One to one counselling is talking to a single person as different to a group. The word counsellor is the main term to describe a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or social worker. They are very important. A counsellor is someone who you can trust, who likes you and you like him/her, someone to tell your story, someone who knows what youre talking about, someone who will listen and validate, someone who can act on your behalf with police, social security, someone who will talk to family and friends, etc. For ritual abuse survivors and supporters, the issue is not generally talked about and so we need someone to assist us in validating the abuse.
By talking to a counsellor you are not putting anybody else at risk. A counsellor is someone where the information you tell him/her will stay only with that person. You do not need to worry that it will go to the police or another professional if you dont want it to.
Survivors and supporters find counselling either with those that are specifically trained and experienced in ritual abuse, or are general with no training and experience. A specific counsellor has attended workshops by ritual abuse agencies or within their departments and/or has many ritual abuse clients. He/she is very knowledgeable. A general counsellor is open to accepting it, is willing to be educated and uses their knowledge of abuse and recovery generally.
Specific counsellors are generally found within ritual abuse survivor/supporter agencies, sexual assault agencies, religion based counselling agencies, and multiple personality abuse counselling. Ritual abuse agencies have been set up to specifically deal with the issue. They are run by both survivors and supporters. Ritual abuse incorporates sexual assault, religious/spiritual abuse and sometimes multiple personality abuse. Individual counsellors within counselling agencies that work with these survivors have responded by understanding ritual abuse more fully. Sexual assault agencies are either within government health departments or are community based eg a rape and incest crisis centre. Sexual assault counsellors can sometimes be the first that survivors call upon as the first memories are generally sexual. Religion based counsellors eg Centacare, Careforce, are concerned about ritual religious abuse. (You also do not need to be religious to go to a religion based counselling service.) Multiple personality abuse counselling agencies are also concerned about the deliberate cult splitting and ways a person themselves dissociates. The survivor/supporter therefore rings the counselling agency and asks if they have a counsellor who works with ritual abuse. Some agencies may not have a specific counsellor, but will refer to another that does.
There are also many individual counsellors who are specfically concerned about the issue, and who work in a wide range of agencies and institutions outside of sexual assault etc. Eg. they may work at a university as a counsellor or as a relgious support worker, etc. When looking for a counsellor, you will find a supportive information network that will recommend someone who is experienced. For example, you may ring a sexual assault agency and they may say "No we dont have a person here who is experienced in ritual abuse, but we know that this person at this place does and we recommend her/him". Specific counsellors may also work in private practice, by themselves, and have a concern with the issue. They are referred by an agency or long term survivor. It is important that the agency or a long term survivor recommends a private practice counsellor as this situation is open to cult abuse. A cult member maybe posing as a counsellor in order to continue or reactivate the brainwashing and continue the abuse.
General counsellors, or those not knowledgeable, can be found almost anywhere in sexual assault agencies, in the phone book, etc. If the counsellor is outside a counselling agency, a survivor or supporter definitely needs a recommendation from another survivor or legitimate counselling agency as this situation is again open to cult abuse.
The advantages of a specific counsellor are: knowledge, experience, able to offer mutual support through knowing many survivors and referrals to other support. With a general counsellor, a disadvantage maybe in time spent in educating rather than counselling. However, if both people like each other this maybe overcome.
Finding the right counsellor is important. The major considerations are do you get on with this person and like them, how much do they cost, will they be stable eg not move, have lots of children, not go on holidays a lot, etc. Will they fulfill most of what is expected- validate, act on your behalf, find information, etc. Some counsellors may bring in their wrong beliefs and are pushy. This may include "saving the survivor and supporter from the devil", seeing "men or women as the enemy", etc. Travel is also a major consideration. In metropolitan areas, survivors and supporters have many counsellors available. In rural areas, there is a shortage of counsellors and so the survivor generally needs to find someone they can relate to locally or travel. Gender is also another consideration. Most community based services such as rape and incest survivor agencies are for women and children only. Men need to talk to a government or religious counselling agency.
Cost From my latest information, these are the costs in counselling. They are general estimations. They may differ because of individual services and with rising costs. You/the survivor needs to check with the service. Counselling with a government sexual assault centre is free. Community based services are also generally free. Religious counselling ask for a small percentage of the income which is sometimes not insisted upon. Doctors and psychiatrists can either bulk bill (cost nothing) or ask for the 15% medicare levy. They generally assist by bulk billing if you/the survivor are on benefits, allowances, pension or a low wage. Private psychologists cost and are the most expensive. Most do a sliding scale depending upon if you are on benefits, allowances, pension or low wage. You/the survivor can see the cost as a consideration and not the total one. The most important consideration is liking and trusting the counsellor.
Talking to Someone About Being a Ritual Abuse Survivor
It seems hard at first to talk to someone about ritual abuse. The survivor has lots of threats and violence supposedly against them. It also seems as if the survivor is the only person who knows about it. It is really important therefore to really trust someone. From my and other survivors experience, counsellors and people who have heard about ritual abuse will believe the survivor and will really support them. They will not call you a liar or betray your trust. This only happens with cult members or family who are themselves lied to. I have always been treated with respect and acceptance by counsellors and concerned people and this helped me to talk about it.
Counselling Agencies
These are counselling agencies that have talked to Beyond Survival or have been recommended by survivors. They accept it exists and have an awareness of ritual abuse. They are also crisis numbers. There are also many others that are community based, government or religious that for reasons of time and energy have not advertised their services with the magazine and are still able to offer an appropriate service. Ring your local sexual assault centre and ask to talk to someone who knows about ritual abuse. They are aware that it exists and will help.
Western Australia Perth Sexual Assault Referral Centre (both genders) 9340 1828 24hrs; Incest Survivors Association (both genders) 08 9227 8745 (9-4, closed Wednesdays) WA country Sexual Assault Referral Centre (both genders) 1800 199 888 (local call) 24hrs
South Australia Adelaide Womens Statewide Health Services (women) 08 8267 5366 (9-5, Mo-Fr)
Victoria Melbourne CASA House (both genders) 9344 2210 (24hrs); Vic country Telephone Service Against Sexual Assault (both genders) 1800 806 292 (local call) 24hrs Western Victoria Stawell Community Health Centre (9-5, both genders) 03 5358 3700
New South Wales Sydney Sydney Rape Crisis Centre (Women) 9819 6565 (24hrs) 1800 424 017 (local call NSW country) 02 814 319 TTY (answering machine); Mens Sexual Assault Service, Mens Group (men) 9515 3680 (9-5); Wollongong Illawarra Psychotherapy Centre (both genders) 4228 7311 (9-5); Sexual Assault Centre (both genders) 4222 5408 (9-5); Sexual Assault Mens Group (men) 4226 0333 (9-5), Careforce (both genders) 4229 7911
Australian Capital Territory Canberra Rape Crisis Centre (women) 02 6247 8071 (9-5); Sexual Assault Crisis Line (both genders, after hours) 02 6247 2525, 02 6247 1657 TTY (9-5) leave message; Service Assisting Men Survivors of Sexual Assault- SAMSSA (men) 02 6232 7166 (9-5)
Tasmania Hobart Sexual Assault Services (women, men referral, 24hrs) 03 6231 1811; Sexual Health (both, 9-5) 03 6233 3557. LauncestonLaurel House 03 6334 2740 (both, 9-5) 016 181450 after hours paging service
Queensland Gold Coast Sexual Assault Service 07 5591 1164 (women, men referral, 9-5, 7 days); Sexual Health Clinic (both, 9-5 weekdays) 07 5576 9033 Cairns 07 4031 3590 (women, men referral, 24hrs) Sunshine Coast Crisis Centre 07 5443 4334 (women, men referral, 9-5 weekdays); Qld Country Crisis Centre 1800 012 023 (women, men referral, 24hrs); Brisbane Rape Crisis Centre (Women) 3844 4008 (24hrs); Gladstone Rd Medical Centre Men Affected by Rape and Sexual Assault (MARS) (Men) 3844 9599 (9-5, Mon-Sat); Male Sexual Assault Crisis Line (Men, 24hrs) 0411 220055
Ritual Abuse Survivor and Supporter (RASS) Groups
These are mutual or peer support groups run by survivors and supporters. They offer information, resources, education and/or emotional support.
Victoria Melbourne RASS PO Box 5, Dingley 3172 (Information, resources and support)
Western Victoria RASS PO Box 485 Stawell 3380, 03 5358 1343 (Information and support)
South Australia Adelaide RASS (women) C/- North Adelaide Womens Community Health Centre, 64 Pennington Tce, North Adelaide 6005 (support for survivors and workers).
New South Wales Sydney RASS PO Box 63, Camperdown 2050 (Information packages).
Related Community Groups
These are community groups that are concerned about specific issues that ritual abuse survivors suffer eg dissociation and sexual assault, and are concerned about ritual abuse. They offer counselling or referrals or information, etc.
Advocates for Survivors of Child Abuse - ASCA. (Both genders). This is a national body, with state and regional coordinators, that provide a toll fee counselling line, information, workshops/conferences etc. They believe in the existence of ritual abuse and are concerned. They may not have counsellors or volunteers on the phones who know a lot about ritual abuse when you ring. PO Box 842, Darlinghurst NSW 2010 Phone: 02 9331 2487 (in Sydney) 1300 657 380 (toll free)
New South Wales MAP (Merging All Parts) (Both genders) PO Box 1163, Penrith NSW 2751 02 9837 7275. This agency can assist with dissociation only. It is sympathetic towards ritual absue survivors.
The Australian Association of Trauma and Dissociation. (Both genders). This community group believes that ritual abuse exists and is concerned about it. Many people whom the association refers to counselling are ritual abuse survivors. PO Box 85 BRUNSWICK VIC 3056 03 9663 6225
South Australia Dissociative Identity Society of South Australia PO Box 440 Parkholme 5043
The above was from the orginal source for other resources of places to call or check out go to Here they are listed by state. I can't verify how good they are but only list what I've found available.
Crisis Times
(From Beyond Survival magazine) Sometimes survivors get very stressed. These are mainly when remembering the abuse, telling others, when being told to return to cult activities (eg Halloween for satanic survivors) and talking to, writing to or seeing cult members and/or family. There are many things you can do to take the edge off the pain.
from those listed above, the national crisis counselling services of Life Line 13 1114 (local call) and Kids Helpline Freecall 1800 551800, and talk to them. In case you/the survivor is concerned about being accepted as a ritual abuse survivor by Lifeline or Kids Helpline or anyone else, you do not need to explain that you are a survivor. What the listener is concerned about during a crisis is your safety and that you do NOT harm yourself.
- Breathe. Breathe deeply and wriggle your toes. Rub your arms and legs. Blink hard. Keep eye contact with something such as your pet.
- Make a list of your reasons NOT to kill yourself. Read it. Give a copy to your friends to read out to you when needed.
- Be safe and warm. Put a blanket around you and cuddle a teddy bear. Hold onto your pet.
- Make a list of things you can do to make you feel better: go out for dinner, have a bath, read a book, suck on a dummy, go for a walk. Whatever works or feels right for you.
- Write in a journal.
- Ring a friend.
- Tell yourself that you are worth being loved. You are good.
- Be proud of having survived. The fact that you are still alive after all the torture shows what an amazingly strong and lucky person you are.
- Ring a crisis number
Support For Supporters of Victims/Survivors
Supporters are very important for victims/survivors and our recovery. They validate, sometimes in a very alienating world, and provide emotional, spiritual, financial, physical (in times of sickness or need of housing), informational, educational, legal, etc support. Supporters can be co-survivors or fellow ritual abuse survivors, abuse eg sexual assault survivors, counsellors, friends, non offending family, workers such as within the media or police, etc.
The important consideration for supporters and victim/survivors is that both people are striving for an independent and a self empowered life. Think of ways that provide support and not dependence.
Resources for supporters are not limited to the ones specfically suggested on this page. Ones recommended for victims/survivors are just as useful. Please see the Support for Victims/Survivors Page.
Specific Support
Counsellors There are many books on ritual abuse that are written for the counsellor. Survivors can also use them. Two well used ones are:
Satanic Ritual Abuse: A Therapist's Handbook by Dee Brown. This is a warm, encouraging introduction to the treatment of adult survivors written for therapists beginning work in this area.
Ritual Child Abuse Discovery, Diagnosis and Treatment by Pamela Hudson.This is a survey of symptoms of child survivors of extra-familial ritual abuse and a discussion of therapy with both agitated and 'frozen' children. Kind, respectful, and well written.
Both of these books can be ordered through Amazon books.
Ritual Abuse Awareness and Education groups such as RASS, and government/church counselling agencies sometimes hold workshops that are either specifically for counsellors or are open to everyone. Please see the Support for Victims/Survivors Page.
See our book store for many more listing
The Ritual Abuse, Ritual Crime and Healing Page has telephone training guidelines to assist counsellors talking to survivors.
Professionals and Concerned People Generally There is a wide selection of books and resources that are written for the non survivor both directly and are considerate within survivor directed literature. Resources for counsellors such as Satanic Ritual Abuse: A Therapist's Handbook by Dee Brown have a non survivor perspective in mind. Breaking the Circle of Ritual Abuse by Daniel Ryder gives a survivors perspective and has many non survivor concerned perspectives including the media, counselling, community workers, etc. They can be ordered at Amazon books where there is also a wide selection of books. Webpages such as The Ritual Abuse, Ritual Crime and Healing Page has information for the non survivor. There are many journal and magazine articles on the net which can be accessed by looking up appropriate search engines such as yahoo. Some survivors are very willing to talk to professionals such as the media and police. It is understandably an individual thing. The best way is to contact either RASS groups themselves or talk to national bodies such as ASCA who would know of survivors who like to talk publically about the issue. Please see Support for Victims/Survivors Page.
Friends and family. All the literature is helpful for loved ones. You need simply to understand what is going on for a survivor, and incorporate this within the general ways someone supports someone else. Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child by Laura Davis is very good. Laura's book can be obtained at any good bookstore or through ordering at Amazon books.
Counsellors will also talk with friends and non offending family of survivors. These can be the counsellor of the survivor you are supporting or another. You need to get the approval of the survivor and ring the counsellor or agency. Ritual Abuse Awareness and Education groups such as RASS, and government/church counselling agencies sometimes hold workshops that are either specifically for friends and family or are open to everyone. Please see the Support for Victims/Survivors Page.
Assisting During Crisis Periods
The major times survivors need support is during crisis periods. This is when they are becoming a survivor and remembering and disclosing the abuse, escaping, call back periods, anything else that triggers in a major way eg having to have to contact cult or innocent family, experiencing trauma that is not directly cult related eg a miscarriage but will also set off cult triggers, etc. Please see Crisis Periods.
What is important is a genuine willingness to assist the survivor for a period of time. The survivor will generally know how long that period will be for. Some survivors only need a couple of hours, some days, etc, etc. The supporter needs to know their abilities and limitations and be clear with this. It is really detrimental to have shaky support as it will only restimulate cult lies that "friends/counsellors/partners/family are not supportive". Survivors are also having a rough enough time that they cannot look after supporters' inconsistency.
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