Space Egg

File: UFO66

IT'S A SCIENTIFIC DISASTER, SAY EXPERTS. SUN'S HEAT EXPLODES FLOATING SPACE EGG.... AND FRIES IT TO A CRISP!

A GIGANTIC BLUE EGG THAT WAS PHOTOGRAPHED AS IT FLEW PAST A SPACE PROBE IN 1987 EXPLODED WHEN IT VEERED TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN AND FRIED LIKE AN OMELET ON A GRIDDLE! THAT'S THE WORD FROM ASTROPHYSICIST PFLUEGER SCHMIDT, WHO SAID THAT THE OCTOBER 26 WAS A SCIENTIFIC TRAGEDY OF THE FIRST MAGNITUDE.

THE EGG WAS CLEARLY THE OFFSPRING OF AN UNKNOWN LIFE FORM AND TO SEE IT DESTROYED LIKE THIS IS A SCIENTIFIC DISASTER, DECLARED SCHMIDT, A GERMAN WHO HAS WORKED AS A SPACE ANALYST FOR THE RUSSIANS SINCE 1966 AND IS CREDITED WITH THE DISCOVERY OF THE FLOATING EGG IN THE SPRING OF 1987.

IF THE EGG HAD HATCHED THERE'S NO TELLSIGN WHAT WE COULD HAVE LEARNED FROM THE ENTITY THAT CAME OUT. WE COULD HAVE TRACKED IT WITH TELESCOPES AND SPACE PROBES AND SOLVED UNTOLD MYSTERIES ABOUT EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE IN OUR UNIVERSE. AT FIRST WE WERE CONVINCED THAT THE EGG WAS GOING TO HATCH BECAUSE IT FLEW OUT OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM WITHOUT INCIDENT, HE ADDED. BUT SOMETHING CAUSED IT TO TURN BACK. AND ON ITS SECOND FLYBY, THE EGG GOT CAUGHT IN THE SUN'S GRAVITATIONAL PULL.

THE EXTREME HEAT CAUSED THE EGG TO EXPLODE IN MUCH THE SAME WAY THAT A CHICKEN EGG WILL EXPLODE IN A MICROWAVE OVEN. THE YOLK AND WHITE OR WHATEVER WAS INSIDE THE EGG FRIED AND FINALLY BURNED INTO NOTHINGNESS AS IT WAS PULLED EVEN CLOSER TO THE SUN.

THE NEWS AND OTHER MAJOR MEDIA BLEW THE LID OFF THE DISCOVERY OF THE 700-MILE SPACE EGG IN THE SPRING OF 1987. AT THE TIME WE QUOTED SCHMIDT AS SAYING THAT THE EGG HAD BEEN PHOTOGRAPHED AS IT PASSED WITHIN A FEW MILES OF A RUSSIAN SPACE PROBE AND THAT IT CONTAINED AN EMBRYO THAT IS JUST WAITING TO HATCH, GROW AND THRIVE IN OUTER SPACE.

THE RUSSIANS DIRECTED THE PROBE TO FOLLOW THE EGG AND IT CONTINUED TO SEND SIGNALS BACK TO EARTH UNTIL 1991, WHEN A COMPUTER FAILURE DISABLED IT FOR GOOD.

BY THAT TIME THE EGG WAS ALREADY HEADED BACK FOR THE SUN, SAID THE EXPERT. WE DETERMINED ITS FATE BY CREATING A COMPUTER MODEL WHICH SHOWED THAT IT WOULD ULTIMATELY BE BURNED UP.

ACCORDING TO OUR CALCULATIONS, THE EGG EXPLODED AND FRIED ON OCTOBER 26. MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT. THIS IS AN IN- CALCULABLE LOSS.