SolarGeneral Proudly Presents...
...by James Mason
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This segment was conceived and notes for it put down during a moment of depression. When running on an even keel, not to mention while feeling elated, one finds that it isn't easy to discuss a last-ditch frame of mind. Needless to say, one can find good and bad moments under practically any and all circumstances but when things get miserable and tend to remain that way over extended periods, the difference is usually made between people who can or cannot find a way, some means of tying a knot and hanging on when they have reached the end of their rope. I know. I've been there– often– and sometimes for years at a stretch. And I promise you that I would not be here now had I not quickly learned where and upon what to focus my attention during those dangerously low times.
In this saddest period of Man's history when all do indeed either fall silent or become untrue, when all meaning and purpose seem to fade and vanish and it is either difficult or impossible to believe even in one's self, to whom can you turn for the strength to carry on? What can provide the jolt to the senses to snap you out of it and put you back on the fighting track? Who else but one's own circle of enemies? When you wouldn't carry on for so-called "friends", after you've already given yourself up for dead, when even the Cause itself appears lost, as long as there are those personal adversaries out there who might just gain some tiny degree of vindication at one's fall, there has always been given the one, single reason to go on to the end.
Beyond the absolute fact that a man without enemies is worthless as a friend, there is the equally powerful truth that a man's enemies can and do serve a definite use in his life's struggle. Again, when everything has lost its meaning and worth, the presence of a string of enemies can provide a reason for life. I've never been disappointed or betrayed by an enemy. To them, l am Number One and rate special attention accordingly. They do me honor in this way when all others have forgotten or turned their backs. When life itself has taken on every aspect of a bad joke it becomes reduced to a kind of game where the object is to keep building, keep winning for no other reason than to confound one's enemies. Probably unbeknownst to them, over the years they have each and all provided direction where there had been only aimlessness. They have instilled resolve where there had been resignation. I am sorry indeed to have to say that I could make no such dedication as this to any supposed comrade or friend.
Perhaps a handful of long-time readers of my output will recall some of my more lengthy dissertations on those whom I felt were doing a great disservice to the Movement and perhaps they will remember these as "smears" of a sort. Note always that I never claimed to have been undone by, nor did lever attempt to "put the blame on", any of those named or alluded to in these exposés but that I instead carefully pointed out the mistakes that had been made, for whatever purpose, so that they might be recognized and not repeated in the future. No, my enemies cannot undo me. Only I can do that. As long as my enemies are around, new ones coming after the old, then they shall be my own best defense against that by keeping me constantly alert and on my toes.
Despite the debt that I may owe them, and that some of them who may read this could become ill at my revelation, I do not fool myself in false sentimentality about it. Enemies are enemies and, if allowed to build up or join forces against one, then he has invited his own doom. I view it as a war and a war it is indeed. I will kill them if I can. I owe them much- call it vengeance or call it justice, whatever you will. As with most larger, more important things in life, I fear I owe them more than I can repay.
[Vol XII, #7– July, 1984]
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