Aleksander Zielinski
E-mail: zielinsk@upnaway.com
8/115 Hubert St
East Victoria Park 6101
Western Australia
Just to Say Hello
For Me it Started in Poland
Their Reasons as They Wanted Me to Know
My Strange Surgery, Technology of the Seventies
Vienna
First Six Years in Australia
Doctors and Illnesses
The Music for My Mind
My Way of Survival
More about Doctors
At the Present Time
Finally, I found people the same as me. For some sixteen years I've been knowing that I'm a victim of mind control practices. Until now I was alone with everything happening to me. Sometimes I dreamt about meeting people who know the subject, who would be willing to talk. Most of all I hated this isolation built around me, like I was the only person in the world experiencing this problem, alone.
Only a couple of weeks ago I connected to the Internet. I couldn't believe my luck. Step by step I have been getting accustomed with people and their stories on the Web's Mind Control Sites. At last there were suitable words for things that until now were unpronounceable.
What a feeling it is for someone like me to read about technical and historical facts regarding mind control, or about RF weapons. Would you believe it or not, only a few weeks ago all this was for me only an unclear notion of something that created my trouble.
It seems to be difficult to describe what I gained during past two weeks.
I don't feel alone any more, and don't expect to be alone ever more while facing this problem of modern time slavery of the mind.
It was 1990 when I read a story about a mind control harassed man in the local newspaper. Then for the first time ever I read about people living in some underground trying to organize themselves and about Operation Mind Control by Walter Bowart. As for the book, I will never forget the face of the book shop salesman when he told me that this publication is out of print and I wouldn't be able to order a copy. He looked at me like I was out of this world. I kept guessing how many people ask him about the same book? After watching a TV series "Nowhere Man" last year, I thought nothing better could happen for our aim. Just look what's happening now. This underground that I read about came to have its place and its voice, and what a voice it is.
All people who visit mind control sites shouldn't have any doubts that stories and information published here are their concern as much as it concerns the victims. The only difference lies in the fact that the victims are first.
So, please let me join in and tell my own story. Let me do anything I can, so society could be brought up to such a state of consciousness that people won't allow anybody to continue these experiments and actions any more. This seems to be the only way by which the future generations may avoid black nights of our life.
I'm a man victimized by mind control for some thirty three years, and as years go by I can see clearly that man is getting less important all the time.
When I was a kid they were sending messages of goodwill and work for human kind. Today nothing counts anymore, only power, money, politics, spy operations and most of all personal gains.
People ought to know how far the possibilities of total mass mind control by physical means, media, and pop culture are reaching. There are fundamental rights of life at stake.
This enormous and terrible problem concerns anybody who wants to live the free way as we know it and it won't go away by itself. This dangerous situation has to be dealt with using any means possible.
During the past couple of weeks, while I had been preparing myself to tell my story, standard situations have occurred. I've just avoided a potentially dangerous car accident and the communication with other people seems to be often at an almost exploding stage. Is this because of "strange weather"? Just another day I had a big argument with my brother who couldn't understand why do I compare feelings of mind control victims with these of victims of Nazi Germany who spent their time in concentrations camps. He said such conclusions were unacceptable. So, what should I say?
It happened that I visited Auschwitz and what I saw and felt there is quite clear. The smell of burnt bodies stays there till today. These bodies were burnt because of their worthlessness to the Nazis.
I saw piles of human hair, because parts of human bodies could be useful. I did smell death in the air because in this place some chosen were going to suffer and to die.
I recall my life in the eighties and remember the worthlessness of my person, "Their" preoccupation with parts of my body and mind, the smell of death and black hopelessness anywhere my mind tried to reach. Long years when my mind had to work for nothing, in terrible conditions and when I didn't want to work this way the conditions were getting even worse. I remember that one night when they entertained me with my own, personal dying. A part of myself left me taking away a part of personality that hasn't been back.
I don't think there's a reason to explain any further. These people who have done it to me are worse than Nazi Germany, because they already knew what this kind of treatment means and how it feels, and still they did it. It was "Them" trying at one stage to create in my mind some sort of theater portraying my life in the concentration camp for some reason that they found worthwhile.
My memory doesn't serve me well at all. However moving step by step I'm able to recall quite a lot. To tell the story of thirty three years of life in such a short way seems to be absolutely impossible. I'll have to cut it short by bringing out only the most important parts.
The trouble in my life started in Poland. During my consultation with a neurologist in 1964 some strange things had happened. I recalled this fact shortly after migrating to Australia in 1981. Then, it was unveiled to me as an excuse for terrible things I felt. I was told somehow that this first event of my alternation in Poland was done by Vatican Intelligence.
In 1964 the doctor used some system consisting of a box which he called a radio, a large lamp moved over my head, and a small and thin circled wire which he had been inserting into my and his ears. When this incident was unveiled to me I knew that it is the truth, and that I always knew about it in some way. I could recall that during my life many memories were constructed around the memory of this incident hidden in my subconscious.
The result of the things that doctor has done with me was some strange feeling coming on me, on the top of my head's left side. It was strong, very unpleasant and I couldn't free myself from it. This something was touching me inside and reaching deeper. I lost consciousness then and when I woke up couldn't remember a thing. That which was happening with me afterwards, between the ages of seven and twelve, has interesting character. Several months later, one more time I couldn't remember a few days of my life but apart of this, I don't recall and don't suspect any physical interference from outside.
Back then I heard voices but in different a way from in modern times. These voices were hidden and hadn't been touching me. I was taking these things in some natural way. It was like the atmosphere talking to me and I thought it was nature, life, natural ways of feelings.
A characteristic feature of this times was a fact that I was a small girl, However it could be a mistaken description. I rather was a small boy who had became a woman. Adult and mature woman. Sexually developed woman with all her desires, memories and longings. So, I used to spend some time every day "studying" what a mature woman holds in her sexual nature. For such thing sI haven't found any description yet. I guess Technological Sexual Abuse of Children could be a good suggestion.
Sometimes they did it in an interactive way with real people on the line educating me in practical ways about the feelings of female sexual desires. I still remember how, in the beginning, I started to observe my thinking. Firstly inside, with very gentle feeling, next on my forehead, then on the sides of head and finally in 1965 they made me exiting into the outside.
Also I remember the first thing done in 1964 to my hearing. I had an impression there was a different angle to hearing, engaging much more than the one before. First alternations to sight were shining from the right side of my face. It was like sun glare reflecting from glasses. Apart from all this, I did have some time for myself and for learning or play, and I didn't suffer any effects of strange personality disorder. If I made questions some time, why is this happening to me, the answer was that this is something very special, wonderful and most of all I'm very special so there is no reason to worry.
I was receiving two kinds of messages. One was like everything around, the whole world was in contact with me. For example, soon after 1964 incident I was told that all that happened before were Nazi Germans who now are keeping some air ways in the sky. I looked up and I supposed to imagine a lot of lines in the air. After years this memory was altered to a feeling of some wireless power lines in the sky.
Another kind of message I didn't exactly understand back then: there were things exported to my inner thoughts. The most significant one it is about how to experimentally fight cancer -- the aim of these people. They also mentioned that many people with cancer have to take morphine. I think I know exactly how it feels to take morphine, but I never took any myself. How much knowledge about cancer grew during the past thirty three years ? An ill fated excuse, that's all it was.
During my lifetime I received many wonderful projects to help Humankind. All the same way: ill-fated excuses of some people with ill minds. I do have memories of an interrogation which occurred at the turn of the decade. It was done by an impression of a few soldiers. I was asked how was it possible that I didn't know what was going on. Strangely, I remember my response : I didn't understand. I was asked many times, how come I didn't understand? It had to be very simple.
If it is possible to transmit electricity without any wires then what did it mean? I didn't understand. I had been trying to convince them that I had no idea what was going on. I had a headache and unpleasant feelings after this.
Now I wonder, how could I explain that "I don't understand", for such a long time, without finding out something very strange was happening to me. I still don't understand.
Another time they had a discussion about what is God and how does he feel. They came to the conclusion that God is what each men feels while mentioning his name.
Against all odds I kept growing as a boy, and not as a girl or mature woman. Probably something went wrong with my guards.
In 1969 the doctor found that I had a polyp in my nasal cavity. In April I had surgery to remove it. Usually polyps are removed through the nose, however in this case I was told that it was very deep and I needed full scale surgery. They braced my chin from inside and lifted the jaw to get inside.
The surgery took much longer than expected. For some reason there wasn't enough oxygen for me and part of the operating team left to search for a spare bottle. I was told that they searched for long time and so I started to wake up on operating table. I cannot remember this, though. After surgery, the right side of my face where the polyp used to be was swollen. However, I didn't understand why I had many more stitches under my left chin and why the left side of my face was much more painful than the right side.
Soon after this surgery I became full time a boy to be a man. Feelings were telling me that I had some antenna in my head, but it had to be for my benefit because thanks to that I was free. So, I didn't think about it and didn't worry. I heard some concerns that I wouldn't be able to learn well anymore.
Also they let me know that from then on I was a Nazi; more than that, I was some Nazi leader. They were desperate to make a Nazi out of me.
I started to receive sunlight in a different way. I felt the sun rays on my head always the same way, regardless of the position of the sun. I felt them on the top right part of my head. I called this period of time "the sunshine years".
I had been receiving a lot of pictures. They were more like impressions of a mind that saw pictures. The main method of the seventies was simple in fact. They repeated my feeling or standard reactions the way that their feelings were covering my own. Sure their things were primitive and not useful for the mind, but much too strong to ignore. When I learned how to live with their more engaging feelings, they started to wash them out leaving some empty space. My nature could not come through this empty space. It was slowly taking a thorough method of brainwashing to bring my guards their desired effect.
Each year my mental capabilities were shrinking. Just before ending high school I could do nothing about it, even if I really tried hard.
It was a period of time when I used to spend a lot of time ice skating. This ice skating rink where I had been spending most of my time was very special to me. I was attracted to this place beyond any description and had a lot of social contacts there. It is my strong belief that something more had been taking me there for years than the pure pleasure of ice skating. Recalling things and feelings common to this place and time I have every reason to understand that I was involved with some chemical attraction. Something that makes people sniff their noses like cocaine addicts.
Soon after I'd met my first love, later my wife and now my former wife, I was called for national army service. My biggest achievement for those two years was the fact that I finished service just the way I started, as a private. A few months after I came back to work at the ice skating rink I held a few different positions there and finally became a manager -- for a short time, however, because four months after this I left Poland.
Five months before I left I was surprised by yet another strange incident of losing consciousness for many hours.
It happened during my boss's party. Afterwards I woke up in a tram very late at night with no idea what had happened to me. After many years had passed by I recalled that it was quite early during that day when I had had some very noisy small object inserted into my ear. At that moment I had regained consciousness but the sound caused great pain, so I went out again. I know the man who had done it to me. Interestingly, where is he now, and what is he doing
After this inciden, for the first time ever, I had to admit to my self that thinking was becoming very difficult and my mind started to "leak into the air".
My "good friends" gave me advice about how to migrate to Australia, gaving me a contact for work in Vienna and an address where I could stay.
In Vienna I found a lot of people living at the address I had. I can see now that most of them, if not all, were agents, spies, or whatever you'd call them.
The most terrible moment of my stay in the capital of spies was a night about 5 of January 1981. Then I was drugged again and lost myself for the whole of the night. After many years, not so long ago, I recalled what happened to me that night. I was taken by my Polish "friends" to some place which seemed to be the Polish Diplomatic Mission in Vienna. I remember myself sitting in a waiting room with a counter and Polish national emblem on the wall. It was a house where people who took me there could do with me whatever they wanted.
I was told while in some dragged hypnotic state that I would meet somebody very important who is extremely deserving and that I had to do all that he wished. "The problem" turned out to be that this man dressed in very good trousers and shirt, just like a diplomat at home, was a homosexual and he liked to do it together with others. In fact the others performed some spectacle for him so he could feel happy and fulfilled with his desires. It would be unsuitable to describe exactly what they did with me. I'll rather keep to good taste and keep it to myself.
After the orgy, the killers of my mind had some more jobs to do. The man whom I call a diplomat gave them something very small in an envelope.
I guess, it was the same as before, a noisy thing hurting my ear while I was signing some papers in many different languages.
I had shots from a handgun fired from immediately next to my ear. I remember being hit in the back of my head and losing consciousness again. I had my head, or rather the base of my skull dislocated and when I awoke again, one of the men had been pressing it very hard from the top.
You see, this made me compare them to the Nazis. After all that I came through that night, I was sitting there and my only concern was not to allow my neck to collapse, while my country bandit pressed my head down as much as he could. Nothing counted that moment more than survival. This must be the way some people in concentration camps must have felt. Not to think and not to cry, just try to survive.
The same man pressed the left side of my face while another was holding the right side. Then it was a psychological training where they were instilling some fears into me with an electric iron, electric drill, big syringe, and by beating the back of my head.
I didn't describe this things in chronological order because constantly the level of my consciousness had been changing and it felt like I was awaking and losing it all the time. After all that the man who was organizing this thing said that he reckoned everything was done. They took me to shower and washed me up.
When I woke up in the early morning in some doorway even my clothes were washed. I can recall that the wife of the man who organized it all took them to wash when they dressed me in her underclothes for the spectacle. What would you say about such peculiar nursing?
Perhaps they were trying to get rid, by traces, of something they had used on me.
I can only guess my old country and their "protectors" were saying "Bye" to me this way, after sending me to others.
How could they do it, how can they live with themselves; to what extent a man can become an animal ? I have no idea.
In my life I had to come through really a lot but I never was tempted to kill myself. If I was one of them, I don't think I would like to live any longer.
I know these people. I would be able to recognize each of them. I do remember the names some of them.
Despite all the atrocities I had to suffer that night the most scary memory tells me how they ask to turn me down or up, and myself slipping out or screaming accordingly.
I was a human machine.
The last two weeks after the incident, before leaving for Australia, I spent drugged in a state of mind that didn't allow me to ask myself why there were so many bruises on my body? Why does it feel so strange?
They even were so outrageous that they transmitted to me a massage with the old atmosphere of work for Humanity.
The message asked me how wonderful it would be to create a device to listen and look in the rooms of politicians; what are they after?
How much "peace " for the world could it bring ?
I didn't really care, didn't remember what happened to me, and while thinking "why is my mind giving me such funny ideas," I thought that I was going just slightly mad.
Sometimes I think, who were this people fighting off? By 1981 I was already fixed up for life and didn't represent any danger to them. My guess is that they were creating some device or a program which could help their agents who came to live in Australia together with me. In such a case they would be very much mistaken because "specialists" in Australia had programs which made me ask why was I born.
Before leaving Poland I had an incident when I signed up to be a "Solidarity" member as the first at the meeting, while there was psychological pressure not to do it, and when everybody was waiting for another to start it.
However, while I stayed in Poland for over a year in 1992, I was attacked again. Then I found that this "Solidarity" incident didn't count at all. After that last visit to Poland and after recalling everything, I gave up Polish Citizenship. I don't even know if the Polish Parliament have already stripped me of it because they didn't answer my formal letter.
My first month In Australia was gray and senseless. I was missing something and I didn't feel happy at all. Of course I missed a dose of Vienna's drugs, plus I worried about my wife and kid in Poland. Things always can get even worse, and for me they did.
On 26 of February I was invited by group of polish "friends" to have a toast for my Name Day. One of them had the same name as mine.
I couldn't even finish that one drink and lost consciousness again. The last thing I remembered was that one of the twins present had some objections that I didn't drink enough.
The man who seemed to be their boss calmed him down saying that there was plenty in the glass. Once again, only after many years, I recalled what had happened after:
The drink made me feel swollen and very big, I couldn't stand on my own, and was supported by one of them. The poison was working very fast; I started to shake all over.
They wrapped me in blankets and put me in bed. Then I don't remember. I think I said "Oh not again." "No again.." laughed the man whom I remember from the Vienna incident.
At one stage I was awakened while being beaten on the back of my head by the same man. I felt a moment of hope when a woman I knew started to scream: "Why are you beating him, you bandit?"
He stopped, went to her room and gave her a few hits, then he come back and did me again..
At last, I remember myself held by many pairs of hands and having my neck dislocated again.
I woke up very late at night. On the side of my bed was a basin. It looked like I had been vomiting a lot.
I had been told by "friends" that I got poisoned with alcohol. I didn't remember a thing. It was for me the end of me and the end of life as I knew it. From then on I became a very sick man.
After I recalled this incident I wrote a report to the Police. It was not so long ago and about fifteen years after the fact. When I didn't get any response, I wrote another registered letter. Maybe it has been too long to do anything about it, but at least I deserved some response, some confirmation of the report. It's a pity nobody cares.
The most difficult were the first six years of my life in Australia. Let nobody tell me about hell, I've been there. Immediately after the incident in Graylands Migrant Hostel everything fell on me with the fury that nothing could stop. It would be extremely difficult and after a while boring to study my feelings. It is worth pointing out that my trouble had two main levels. One very much physical, with growing headaches and sickness of the body. The whole of my nervous system was strange, unacceptable ,and sick. Inside of my head was some strong bond pressing me to the stage that I had to look even for a glimpse of my mind. The difference between my body and outside was none and the problem was that the outside was much stronger than me.
I started to feel strong and growing pain in the left side of my face (this has stayed with me until today). I had a terrible loss of balance in the left side of my head.
I thought I was going crazy because as long as I suffered terrible pain, I wasn't able to localize it. I wasn't able to describe where does it hurt. It is so strange that all this started with feelings of pain above the right top of my head. It seemed to be that the sky was hurting and I was receiving the hurt. There was no way to establish where I was in all this. I remember my throat being extremely dry; it was impossible to swallow. I could hardly remember myself at all. Almost overnight I became a zombie.
If pain was driving me crazy it was only a base to another level of my feelings, these transmitted to me in some way.
I was shown faces of migrants about whom it was said were foreign agents. Quite cleverly it was shown to me which of them originated in the Polish militia or army. I was taught to hate them because they didn't hurt even if they deserved it. They had contacts and jobs and freedom of mind, while I had barely contact with anything that used to be mine. So, even not knowing yet what happened to me or who I was, I hated them. I guess I hated them until today.
It was the beginning of my "education" which took long years. The messages I was receiving weren't coming easy. I was forced to really want to take them in and register the sense of them in my mind. They accomplished this task by pain and other unpleasant feelings.
There were first tiny rewards for my mind too, tiny little connections, a bit closer to calm. The air around me was burning, but not bright. How can it be possible to see dark sky while it is sunny and the temperature reaches 45 C ?
Most of all, however, it was the time for the fear. One big psychosis of fear, with random access to anything they wanted. London's engineer Charles Bovill would not, most probably, ever know about me. But his fear projector invented in the early seventies did play an enormously big role in my life. I had been "honored" with this mixture of infrared rays and ultrasounds constantly.
Before getting accustomed to it and with no explanation as to why I was afraid, I couldn't help myself.
I still have in memory a picture of myself running down the street in fear. No reason, just feeling.
Another technique was used on me while I had been working in a French restaurant. It was extremely bad feelings. It Seemed that my body was falling apart, but not as much the whole body (that was happening anyway), but the smallest particles of it. It felt like I was radiating and once again the only person to suffer because of it was me. After many years I read about the development of a French technique based on sound that had its birth in the middle of the sixties, and this seems to me to be exactly that.
I was taught about German techniques involving sex but for many years my sexual life was none. I had to rebuild it in time from the beginning. I was receiving some dark stories of fallen Vatican intelligence. They had to be responsible for all this misery. Present Vatican intelligence wasn't accessible and it was shown as a society of better people. In fact every more important agent they showed me was said to be working for the Vatican.
Italians were known as creators of "gold", so to speak, methods that would work in any situation. For years I'd been dreaming that if I could get somehow to live in this Vatican society my life would be normal. Nothing could have been more misleading. One day I was sure at last that I was there, but this part of the mind control I came to see as the worst. I remember a personal joke that one day I will have to pay in some way for my breathing.
It seems to me, they sell from the victims whatever they can before dumping them for somebody else. One day, at the beginning of the nineties, I found information about some priest named Tritheme who in the 15th century claimed that he could control minds from a distance using some mysterious tool. His book Steganography, some say, may be hidden in the Vatican collection. Then I read about followers of the mystery until times of Freemasonry. Since times of "Golden Down" information about them seems to disappear. If you like to study where cryptocracy originated from, this seems to be the right place to start; however, it would be difficult to expect sensible answers.
It was said that Americans are nowhere to be found. The suggestion was that they were not interested in this business at all. After years went by, it wasn't so difficult to find American connections. I believe tha at the beginning of my Australian life they controlled my situation to an extent that gave them immunity. Forcibly I was taken on a tour of methods and sites of this worst plague that men ever knew.
Everyday I felt this humiliation of being a lesser man, and humiliation was coming from deep in me where I had contact with the memory of the Vienna incident. Only after I recalled it did the feeling of humiliation disappear.
My guards had some motivations for the atrocities they committed on me. Most of all they explained that I brought the whole lot of agents with me and this is the reason for which I suffer. They did try to establish some rules, which didn't have any effect because incoming data was changing so frequently that they themselves, probably, didn't know for sure what they were after in the first place.
It may be that they were dismantling things installed in me before, but, in fact, it was a period of many years of unscrupulous brainwashing.
Whatever terrible thing it was tha they were doing, it was taken care of to the stage that I wasn't even able to assimilate it; they did that for me. They were serving their experiments together with a package of reaction, so that, in fact, sometimes I wanted to hurt for the sake of being myself some more. Yet, I had to realize that some agents who came to Australia with me were welcomed very warmly and taken good care of. It was suggested to me that they brought something important from Poland.
Just after arriving I went to the Immigration and Ethnic Affairs Department to complain that in Vienna some people have done something to me and because of that I was very sick. I have no idea how I could do it on my own, and I didn't remember what had happened. I visited Police Headquarters with the same story.
At the Immigration Department I was offered a consultation with a doctor. Being afraid of mental hospitals, I preferred to disappear. In Police Headquarters I wouldn't even talk to anybody, being ashamed of what had just happened.
Looking at it now, it is obvious that "they" sent me there themselves.
I tried to talk to doctors about my headaches but medications weren't doing any good. They sent me to a psychiatrist who said I had mental depression. Then a couple of years later I saw the psychiatrist again. I was pressured by my ex-wife to do something about myself.
The doctor said that I suffered schizophrenia, and for some considerable time afterwards I used to take medication. It's true that the medication quite quickly killed a lot of the pain, but at the same time I had to pay a big price.
Once again I had to adjust to a new situation, and I became a "vegetable" again.
A very loud clicking noise had developed in my head, and I had no idea what it was. It was extremely noisy and I couldn't sleep at night. I felt it like I was some sort of machine.
After over a year of taking medication, I became very scared that I would never get out of it so I told the doctors I was OK and never came back .
I'm very upset abut my treatment back then. I told doctors the truth about everything. I told them about electromagnetic feelings in my head creating an unbalanced mind, about been victimized by those people, about loud noises in my ears. I even have a letter stating that in spite of this, they pronounced me mentally ill and started treatment. After a short time of consultations with the doctor, I had to see young people who were probably students. Each time a different one. Once again I was as a thing to practice on.
They are guilty as hell because they taught me that I was mentally sick and I thought I was.
Ironic as it seems, I could bring my family to Australia but I was unable to keep it together. The situation in my marriage was unbearable and yes, "they" are guilty.
They didn't even try to hide what they were doing with my marriage, taking pleasure in their duties. It was much better to be alone.
The attack on my person started to loose its fury. They created a big spectacle for me in the small West Australian town of Wiluna, where I was under the impression that I was going to be killed, cocked, and eaten. Their people used verbal psychosis, blowing drugged smoke to my room. I lasted only a week in this job, taking the first available plane to get out.
It was said that the "music" saved me, and soon after I became involved with this very powerful tool of total mass mind control. Almost until today.
There is a very big hospital in Wiluna with extremely big radio installations. I was told it had to be private mental institution. "Mental Institution" in which you could fit quite a few small country towns like Wiluna?
Back then I was under the impression that I might be taken inside there. I wonder, is it only a private mental institution ?
To talk about "music" I have to start with a description of some specific language of understanding.
Metaphor, cabal, cryptocracy, all those terms fit perfectly. I'd been told by lyrics of "music" that I was someone very special and that I had a mission. Most of it all remained unclear, even if I felt perfect understanding.
There were a few hooks that made my listening very engaging. One of them: in Wiluna music saved me against cannibals, who had to do their duty because of keeping up with the cabal. Another: at last I started to understand English much better.
How can you learn a new language if you not there, and those who work on your mind talk Polish?
Yet another: It was an honor to be a "hero" of modern times in such a "magic way".
Finally, the music brought the feeling of love. It didn't let me love, especially it didn't let me love myself, but it did put me in touch with long gone feelings of love as I knew it before, and did let me feel being loved. The music became my doctor.
Additionally, in 1987 they put me through another action, with positive feelings for change, when I experienced "some magical things". Most of them were explainable and possible to explain apart from my fishing. During my fishing I was in open fields far away from anybody. I had messages about what was happening under shallow water which were confirmed by the results I had been achieving. There was no reasonable explanation for this so that everything happening inside me became, you guessed it right, magic. On the "network" I heard that some English used some binoculars to fool me. Finally, it seems that in fact they looked at me from a satellite. This incident had done quite a lot of damage to Russians. Almost a pity, it wasn't ESP at its finest.
To understand how this mechanism of music works, one has to remember that deep inside, everyone of us does take culture very personally and adjust its meaning to personal needs. This seems to be taken as a feeling rather then having logical sense.
Machinations with music and culture depend on using this level of personal life, enlarging it to be number one in the mind and adjusting it to the mind game.
Listening to music gave me an access to learning this specific method of understanding, which seems to be the modern way of secret services' communications. This gave me an advantage of using it in some situations, when something tried to play a fool with me again.
So, I was a fool imagining things up to the music but "operators" (they told me to call them military specialists) started to have a problem if they wanted to play this game of ever changing meanings with me again. It came after a long fight, but it did come after all. I'm laughing sometimes that they employed the wrong people. It's their bad luck. My concern however is not to let them use this ability against another victims of mind control.
My life became much easier that way because I didn't have to listen to some silly things that caused headaches. With an ability to create a strong inner voice in me, I made them stop this part of the "exercise" -- a very important part of the exercise I believe, for their own communication. This inner voice was induced by themselves, coming as an effect of stopping my natural thinking process. I had to create a tool to communicate with my own self.
One more thing was that I wasn't afraid to talk aloud if necessary. They were using methods of stopping my own inner communication. I found a place where nobody could hear me and I talked. Besides my mind communicating within, many were listening.
There must be some competition between them and in such a situation they stop whatever they do immediately. Especially if you know how to talk.
When my mind became a little loose, I found a method of duplicating their messages.
It didn't work with speech. Maybe because their speech is originating too deep in my own speech center, but for feelings like anger, humiliation or fear it seems to work quite well after some training.
It is a reversal of the method that brainwashed me in the seventies. While receiving something that I couldn't stand, I duplicated it and tried to keep this duplicated feeling stronger than their own. It doesn't take long to make them disappear.
Repetition seems to be a base for their work and I'm not scared to say that: they are scared of repetitions; that's why it is my main psychological weapon.
Unfortunately it takes a bit freer mind to accomplish this task. Also it requires concentration for prolonged periods of time. And how difficult it is to achieve concentration everyone involved in mind control knows. I lived many years ignoring strange things occurring in my mind, with no access to a large part of my mind and not worrying about it. Before I could afford some concentration I had to do something that I called mind gymnastics.
Once again it takes years till one gets the ability to know how to mess up an already seriously messed up mind. As for my experience: before things start to get better, it seems to be a necessity to suffer doing things that make me suffer more, just to learn how to control them.
As for headaches and psychosis, I found a method of solitude very useful. Apart from my family, I wouldn't allow anybody near me. Since I started this exercise, I felt much better and most of all more clear.
Yes, it the Nineties my life got much better. Sometimes I thought it may be because of these telephone towers you can see now anywhere. These may create easier access at any time and my guards don't have to hold to me constantly. However I might be mistaken.
At the beginning of the Nineties I became recipient of a disability pension. A member of my family told me that it would do me good because I was always sick. I gave it a try, and after less than a year of contacts with psychiatrists I got it.
I never lied to my doctors in order to get the pension and depended on systematical descriptions of what was happening with me. I was described as a paranoid schizophrenic, next paranoid, then schizophrenic again.
After I recollected what had happened to me in the past, I wrote some letters to the Mental Health Department protesting against the treatment that I had received. I Never received any answers. I felt furious that one of the psychiatrists, in fact a migrant the same as me, said that in the left side of the face there are no nerves that could hurt. She said there are no nerves at all in there.
Whichever way one could interpret this, I found that the very important seventh cranial nerve just is in there. Such nerves might cause very strong pain. I did complain about it specifically, again with no result. She was doing her job later on in the mental hospital, soon after the Multicultural Psychiatric Clinic was closed. How many people like me did she cheat?
I'm able to believe that she wasn't a doctor at all. Recalling her non-professional attitude during consultations, if she wasn't a doctor, who was she?
How many human "vegetables" with controlled minds was she taking care of?
However, after all my complaints the new doctor was careful with expressing his opinion. He said that my nervous system was sick and proposed some medications. At that time I was already quite sure of my self and stopped these consultations.
I explained to myself that even if the doctor's intentions were good and he potentially could help my sick nervous system, he couldn't possibly know what chemicals were used on me in previos times and he could not predict potential effects of the treatment.
A doctor whose intentions were good? I never saw any.
As impossible as it seems, a small disability pension gave me financial independence. Prior to it, the problem with money arose because "they" never allowed me to work for too long. It was extremely important for them that I did't have any money.
Whenever I had a job going too well, I was "loosing it" unexpectedly, and with no chance to do anything about it. Some people had a problem with me, or I felt I could not stay with some any longer. In some cases I preferred to leave because of unpleasant things that had happened.
After losing jobs unexpectedly, as a punishment I had to wait some weeks for the dole. In fact in working times I had much less money than now. Psychologically, I got much better after recollecting many things from my past.
These memories are the explanation for many strange feelings and I don't have any reason to think that I'm psychotic.
I was worrying for some nine or ten years that the sound that I heard was psychotic. Finally, I recorded it, and while listening with good headphones on, it sounds very natural. This event was very important to me. I had some hard evidence in my hand, at last. Also heart beat rate registered on this tape is about a half of the normal rate. Once again I started rounds with doctors with such obvious evidence in my hands.
A Laryngologist didn't even bother to listen to it. A jaw specialist said that he had no idea what it was, my jaw was OK. A neurologist said he didn't see anything wrong with me, did I? I simply gave up.
Despite the fact that my life is much better now than in the hellish years, I am still far away from anything I could consider acceptable. I still receive pain, voices, and sounds. I have very little memory, and sometimes it is hard to remember very obvious things (like the one - "mind control" - ha ha).
If I'm attacked seriously, it takes some time before I can manage. "They" use techniques of repeating the same operation for ever.
For example while driving a car, I'm not able to remember if I have just passed a red or a green traffic light. It may seem to be not reasonable, but it is happening with every traffic light I pass.
They try to repeat old actions in small parts of my mind, less accessible by me, and this becomes quite difficult sometimes.
They use the same kind of voices which use small numbers of words. Sometimes I think, they didn't digitized enough Polish words. This kind of thing is done to make me mad and locked up in a psychosis. But now it is not so easy as it used to be.
Most of all, when they make live "exercise", I really get mad but this time they cannot hurt me as much. I got used to it all.
They prepared crazy a environment for me, and I have to do anything to survive.
Abut two years ago I started to have big problems with my neck and the base of my skull. Sometimes I was loosing my vertical orientation, in a different way than before. It was a really strong feeling.
First, I thought it was just another trick, but after some experiments I found myself laying down flat. My GP didn't want to give me anything for that.
Fortunately, somebody had some pills he had been using for his whiplash and these did help me a lot. After I told my GP about it to he gave me some pills too. I bought a machine to massage my neck and the base of my skull, and with this treatment things went better.
I don't get caught by music so easy now. I think they keep it for some special events. After all that I heard and concluded there, it was less than a handful of people in this business who didn't lose their honor and they are not popular at all.
Did you know that this method of music or radio broadcasting is in fact quite old. Since the early fifties many people visited by "Three Man in Black" reported similar treatment where they have been called upon to do "service for the good of humanity". Some revalations I have read are very similar to my own experiences.
I was told by them that around the year 2000 or 2001 I will meet a UFO. You see, I was always interested in it. Now I have to think how to avoid this because many predictions in my life came truth and what will I do if I will meet some UFO coming straight from the Nevada desert. They created some magnificent spectacles for me in the past and I really don't need it. At this stage they're already starting to suggest that this technology of mind control originated from some alien civilization. I guess, they always find some guilty part. Scarily, I believe that they are prepared to take the position of victims if things go wrong, and who would find them then?
That was my story. I think mind control originates it's work in deep personal feelings that can be felt but not understood. For this reason I believe some people may live a long life without realizing that they are in it too.
They use components that build mind, to gain control over it. It takes special cases like me or the others who suffer so much to embark on a journey seeking how to understand and survive. Fortunately for us ,mind itself has to offer much more than they ever knew and this gives as a chance to exist. There is no reason whatsoever to consider their philosophy because, as far as I'm concerned, in this world everything changes with no end. Every philosophy they were trying to install in me has fallen and will never come back.
It is them who cannot keep up with the changes. Sometimes we stop to play their game when there is no other option, but even when someone is brainwashed many times, they may overcome it.
If it is for their benefit somehow, as I know they are watching and registering this, it seems to be difficult to do anything about it at the moment. After all, I'm still fighting for basic survival. This part of the struggle could be fought by information. We have to create awareness in others, endlessly ask Governments to stop it, and one day maybe times will change.
It seems to me very important that we call international means of action because they have been organized internationally for a long time already.
How good it would be if we could find some real medical help? They talk to me openly about some implants. I know that rearranging of my nervous system couldn't be done without them. However, subsequent X rays and CAT scans didn't bring any results, even if people doing them acted strangely.
I myself used a metal detector to search my body, again with no result. Perhaps some nonmetallic or chemical means were used. Only a real and committed doctor could help in this case. Everything is possible.
There was a time when I was absolutely alone, and when I thought, "I will never get out of this pain, misery, and solitude." Some things have changed already. I wish to everyone who has lasted long enough to read this, all luck in searching for just normal life. When we will get the right to that, the most important battle of Humankind will have been won.
| Home Archives News Resources Victims |
| Forum Conferences Search Web Ring Contact |
| Our Disclaimer Fair Use |
|
© 1995-2003 Heart, MTC Online Forums, and Survivors. Nothing can be copied with out permission |